All the king's horses and all the king's men

Later that month, after remaining still for hours every time the doctor came to pay him another one of his ghastly visits, Ramsay had finally gained enough strength to move. He could now rise and walk, even run if dire circumstances called for it. He knew that he would be slowed by his time without movement. His muscles would be unused to the strain. But his time bedridden had at least given him some tactical advantages. For one he now knew when the guards patrolled the corridor and even where the armoury was located, thanks to the pair of loudmouth guards stationed outside his room. All this new information was useful to his plan. It would be a cold winter in hell before he surrendered without a fight. But even Ramsay had to admit that it was treacherous, even foolhardy. But it was all he had to go on.

"Right, that's all I can do for him now." The doctor said, rising from the floor "Princess I will examine him more tomorrow."

Ramsay waited until he heard the thudding of the doctor's boots and the graceful clinking of the princesses' hoof steps recede, escorting the doctor to the dungeon as usual.

It was then that Ramsay seized the moment. The princesses would be going down the winding stairs and the guards would just be about to reach the end of the corridor where, Ramsay hoped they would turn their backs for a brief second. Peeping through a crack in the door Ramsay watched the guards as they walked. To his horror it looked like one of them was about to turn and leave the other one standing at the end of the hallway denying Ramsay a chance at slipping away unnoticed.

"Hey, want some hay-fries?" one of the guards asked suddenly, pulling a greasy bag from the folds of his armour. The other guard turned back and they both proceeded to eat the food, not noticing a silent shadow limp from the room they were supposed to be carefully guarding.

"Fourteen… fifteen." Ramsay muttered as he moved painfully down the corridor, counting his steps. Finally he reached a door and pulled it open, he breathed a sigh of relief as he looked down the darkened staircase. Ramsay had spent his nights listening to the *clip-clop* of the guards hooves in the hopes of finding out where they were going. And after his time in bed he had found out three things, first, that the pantry was twenty four paces to the left. Second, that the stairs were fifteen paces to the right and most importantly that the armoury was somewhere down the stairs. Unfortunately after listening to the guard go down the stairs the sound of his hooves eventually tapered off and Ramsay had to resort to the great fallback of every man in the service, improvisation in hopes of finding the room.

After an agonizing few minutes walking slowly down the stairs, wincing at nearly every step his cold, stiff body made, Ramsay found himself in a large and well lit hall filled with tapestries, paintings and busts. Ramsay was jolted out of his subconscious admiration of the art by the faint sound of clanking armour. Looking around Ramsay flung himself behind a tapestry and tried his best to remain silent.

The clanking got louder and louder before finally stopping directly in front of the tapestry the regular hid behind.

"What's wrong now?" asked a gruff voice.

"Ah, nothin'… coulda swore I smelled somethin' though." Replied yet another guard. Furrowing his brow Ramsay quietly sniffed his armpit. It took all of his power not to retch at the stench, breathing through his mouth now. It was only then that he realized that he was wearing naught but his breeches, he would need shoes before he would make his escape.

"Forget it lets go, the Princesses are having a meeting for the rest of the night and I want to get rid of this heavy thing." the guard with the gruff voice said, following his statement with a metallic *clank* followed by a comical 'ouch!' as they trotted off. From behind the tapestry Ramsay's eyes widened. The sound had undoubtedly been that of a weapon and looking out from behind the obscuring tapestry Ramsay saw, to mixed joy and anxiety that the guards were armed with long spears. The sound was made when one of the guards and brought the flat end of the spear down on his companion's helmet. And that meant that if they wished to discard and divest themselves of their armour and weapons they must be going to the armoury.

Then Ramsay, his face one of glee, waited until the guards rounded a corner before stepping out from behind the obscuring tapestry.

"So we see the price of idleness." Ramsay said, smiling maliciously following the guards stupid enough to abandon their own weapons to sneak out early.

Ramsay was careful to keep the guards in his sight at all times, however it was difficult with his impaired movement. Once or twice they turned suddenly and peered down the hall, almost catching him. Eventually the guards came to a halt outside a large led plated door. Ramsay was at a loss as he hid behind a massive statue of princess Celestia, the door he was faced with was massive. He even doubted the eight-pounder they had would put a dent in it. He watched in silence as one of the guards put his horn in a carefully concealed hole in the door. The guard held it there for a moment before pulling it out. The doors swung open as if they were weightless after that. But it made no difference as Ramsay didn't have a horn, and he didn't quite fancy challenging two armed guards at that particular moment. Briefly he considered that he could slip in after they left, but no. There was no way he could move quickly enough without them hearing something.

"Let's go!" one of the guards urged as the two left the room and the door slammed shut. When the two guards left Ramsay stepped out into the corridor and pushed at the door. As expected it didn't budge. After a few more futile attempts Ramsay was starting to get worried, there was no way he could get in. Getting nervous he glared at the statue of the princess.

"Foil my plans again will you? I think not!" He said angrily, booting the base of the statue. He grit his teeth as the delicate thing teetered and fell, the crashing echoing throughout the palace.

Ramsay looked down at the rubble and knew that it wouldn't be long before guards swarmed the place, as incompetent as they were. Ramsay began to turn and make his way back down the corridor when he stepped on something rather pointy.

"Jaysus fucking Christ!" He spat, clutching his bare foot. Looking down at what he had stepped on he saw it to be the statues horn, which must have rolled away from the wreckage. Ramsay picked it up and was about to hurl it down the corridor when he realized what he was holding. Slowly, a smile spreading over his face Ramsay looked from the ceramic horn, which he still held raised, to the led door.

~.~

*Thud*

The door to the armoury swung open and revealed Ramsay's outlined from standing there. The Armoury was far bigger that Ramsay had expected, within it was a wide selection of swords and spears as well as shields and armour. However it was a touch of crimson that caught Ramsay's attention. Moving to the back of the room he found, neatly folded, his red jacket and the rest of his clothing. Including, to Ramsay's joy, his shoes. After putting on his jacket he looked around the room again he found the regular's weapons, of which he took five pistols which he promptly tucked into his belt, what appeared to be the general's sword and a musket. After a few more minutes of ladling himself down with all that he could bear to carry in his weakened state he turned to leave.

The heavy door opened without incident when pushed from the inside, Ramsay marveled at the ingenuity of a one way locking system but quickly dropped this thought and set about finding either a way out of the palace or his friends, telling himself that he would take whichever he found first. Hastily he moved as quietly as he could, weighted down by his weaponry to the end of the corridor where he looked out of a window and found, much to his disappointment, that he was still many stories above the ground.

"Shite!" He spat quietly, moving back to the staircase he had descended, only going down rather than up. He continued on his way down for two stories before he heard voices coming up from below. Quickly Ramsay threw himself through a door and sprinted down the corridor. Only after he had taken cover behind yet another statue, this time of Luna, did he stop and think about his surroundings. The corridor was just as well decorated as the one before, except this time it was lined by a series of smaller, less imposing doors. Gingerly Ramsay opened one and peeked through. Inside he saw Fluttershy sleeping. Immediately he closed the door, making a little *Clack* as it did and making her stir.

"It must be the bedchambers" Ramsay whispered to himself and sure enough he was right as he heard a snort of laughter that was clearly Rainbow Dash come from behind the next door. It was then that the last door in the corridor slammed open, Shining Armor's voice sounding from within.

"Alright honey, I'll find some fruit. Just get some rest okay." He said backing out slowly and closing the door at the same time. Ramsay froze for a moment before throwing himself at Fluttershy's door, to his amazement he didn't make that much nose opening and closing the door. But Shining Armor definitely heard the faint clatter of the sword and pistols. Turning the pony looked suspiciously around the corridor then walked up to Fluttershy's door. She had told her friends that she was tired and wanted to sleep, and Shining was not going to be the one to disturb the shy pony. But that didn't mean he couldn't listen. Gingerly he pressed his ear to the woodwork and listened.

On the other side Ramsay heard the sound of Shining's hooves coming closer and quickly locked the door.

"Umm, hello?" A timid voice called out from the dimly lit room. Without missing a beat Ramsay threw himself across the room before Fluttershy could shake herself out of sleep and used one arm to hold her to the bed while he pressed the hand of the other across her muzzle, covering her mouth and nose with an airtight grip in an effort to silence her.

"Mmmff!" She squeaked her eyes widening when she realized what was happening. Ramsay paid her no mind while she struggled against his weight, she stood no chance in throwing him off of her, and she could barely shift his bodyweight without him pressing himself onto her. Once again she let out a muffled sound as she tried to draw breath, her face turning blue when she couldn't.

Silently, not daring to breathe himself, Ramsay watched the shadows under the door. He barely noticed as Fluttershy pounded his chest with her hooves before she let out one last, weak "Mmmf" and fell still, her frightened eyes rolling up in their sockets as her body went limp. After a few more tense seconds the shadows under the door disappeared and Ramsay let out a sigh of relief. His relief was short lived, however, for when he looked down and saw Fluttershy's lifeless face he immediately released her muzzle from his vice-like grip.

"Fucking Christ!" He said loudly, cradling her head, not wanting to believe that he had suffocated her, a kind, innocent pony, and not even noticed. Thinking fast he opened her mouth and blew hard into it, her chest rose quickly, as if she were one of Pinkie's balloons. Ramsay then released her to draw breath himself, not daring to think that his efforts weren't working as her lifeless tongue flopped out of her mouth. Once again he blew into her and this time he was forced away by a tiny little cough followed by a massive gasp as Fluttershy's unconscious form gulped down air greedily. The man now felt truly spent, he let himself fall back, sitting up on the floor with his legs splayed before him. Quietly he watched Fluttershy sleep, her little chest rising and falling. Then quietly Ramsay let himself fall apart, a shuddering sob escaping his form. Then he contained himself then wiped his mouth and brow with the back of his hand. Steadily he rose, tucked Fluttershy in as gently as he could and walked to the door, opening it quietly and slipping back into the corridor before he let it close with a gentle *Click*. He was about to go back to the stairs and continue going down when he turned on his heel.

"No more of this bloody sneaking around!" he told himself "I'm not some assassin."

He now had a plan. Whomever pony Shining Armor was talking to in the room at the end of the corridor must be close to him, otherwise he wouldn't have called them an affectionate name, such as 'honey'. Slowly he made his way to the end of the corridor and the door that lay there. As silently as he could he drew a pistol, inserted the shot and pulled the flint and hammer back. Feeling the door he could tell that it wasn't locked by the way it shifted slightly when he pushed it. Bracing his foot against it, he held the wall with his left hand for stability and the pistol in his right, taking a deep breath he pushed. The door flew open with an almighty *Crash!* it would have bounced back into his face had he not rammed his shoulder into it as he leveled his pistol at the only inhabitant of the room, a light pink Alicorn has frozen in shock halfway through combing her mane.

"Right then young miss, I think you know what this is." Ramsay said, gently shaking his pistol to draw her attention to it.

"Please" She whispered "I'm pregnant"

"Well then, I didn't intend on committing one murder tonight, and making me commit two is just unfair to the infant. So don't even think about using magic or attacking me miss, or I'll get a shot off before you can do me any harm." he said, though his voice faltered slightly at this new information.

At this Cadence's horn stopped glowing and her hairbrush fell to the floor. Using the pistol Ramsay gestured for her to get up, which she did. Ramsay then did a slow circle of the room, never once taking his pistol off of her. He finally stopped when he was standing directly behind her.

"Move!" He said harshly, shoving her in the flank hard with his pistol. The two slowly moved out into the corridor where they spotted another door fly open as the Mane six, excluding Fluttershy, burst into the corridor and took up fighting poses.

"Oh I don't think so!" Ramsay said snidely, curling his lip as he thrust the barrel of his pistol into the base of Cadence's skull for emphasis. "You are going to let me pass and then return to your rooms, if I so much as imagine anypony tailing me she dies!"

The ponies all glanced at each other before they slowly fell out of their fighting poses and let Ramsay and Cadence pass.

"You!" Ramsay called, flicking his pistol briefly in Twilight's direction "Check on Miss Fluttershy, she needs attention."

Twilight and the others snarled at him when they heard this.

"What. Did. You. Do." Rarity growled, giving Ramsay a look of extreme dislike.

"She will recover" Ramsay assured "Now remember what I said, return to your rooms and not a sound or... what is your name?"

"Cadence"

"-Cadence here gets a bellyful of shot."

"You'll never get away with this!" Pinkie Pie screamed, to which Ramsay shrugged and moved backwards towards the staircase, making Cadence open it before they descended, closing the door behind them. As soon as the door closed Twilight turned to the others.

"Alright girls, I'll check on Fluttershy. You warn Shining Armor and tell him to be discreet."

They all nodded and quickly moved to a door next to Cadence's room which contained another staircase which they all promptly descended.

"C'mon!" Applejack called "Where's that darn guard!"

It was just as they were sprinting down the stairs that Rainbow Dash, obviously leading the pack, slammed headfirst into Shining Armor who was ascending the stairs with a bowl of fruit which clattered to the floor when they collided.

"Hey!" Shining said, rubbing his head "Watch it Rainbow Dash, you could have hurt yourself."

"Shining Armor!" The girls screamed together.

"What?" he said looking at their worried faces "What's wrong?"

"He has Cadence!"

Shining Armor's eyes darkened as he said one word.

"Who?"

~.~

"Which way?!" Ramsay grunted, basically pushing Cadence down yet another corridor several floors below them.

"Tell me where you want to go and I can lead you there." Cadence replied almost irritably, though she was still afraid of what he might do. Judging by what Shining Armor had said, the humans did not hesitate when it came to hurting ponies.

"Don't tempt me" He muttered shoving the pistol harder into her back "Just get me to the entrance and I'll let you go."

They continued on, moving slowly down corridor after corridor before they finally entered what looked to be an extended hall which ended with a massive door, it was so finely decorated Ramsay stopped for a moment to look about him.

"What's wrong?" Cadence asked smiling "Cat got your tongue?"

"How is it you are so bloody cheerful, eh? Do you not see that I could easily kill both you and your chil-foal." Ramsay retorted once again shoving Cadence forcefully until they came to the intricate gold and oak door.

"There, you're free, anything else I can help you with?" Cadence asked, again sounding frustrated.

"Actually there is, you are coming with me. And I'm going to use you to free the rest of the men. I'm sorry but I see no alternative. I'm sure you understand." Ramsay said, a very well hidden sorrowful tone interlaced with his words. Cadence tried not to show her surprise at these words, the man genuinely cared for his friends, and she could feel it. She almost felt bad about doing what she was about to do.

Ramsay opened the massive doors quickly, obviously eager to escape the palace. But when he did he was not greeted by a blast of fresh night air. Instead he was facing a large room, with guards stationed periodically leading up to an elevated platform with two thrones placed at the top, occupying these thrones were two beings, which stopped their previous conversation and looked directly at Ramsay, the shock on their faces only bested by the one on Ramsay's. There was an unbearably long silence as they all stared at each other, it was finally broken by Ramsay.

"Ahh, Fuck!"

"Guards size him!" Luna bellowed in her royal Canterlot voice, making the guards in the room instantly move to put themselves between Ramsay and the two princesses. In response Ramsay grabbed Cadence by the neck and put his pistol to her head.

"You lied to me you deceitful bitch!" He spat in her ear as he eyed the guards, slowly moving backwards and the two other princesses moved off of their thrones and joined ranks with their guards which had pinned Ramsay at the entrance to the throne room.

"Ramsay, stop this." Celestia said so calmly that Ramsay actually stopped looking around the group with his eyes and locked onto her. That was the one moment of distraction Celestia wanted. She had seen Shining Armor round the corner behind Ramsay and move steadily closer before finally putting on a burst of speed when he was close enough behind him.

"Get away from my wife!" he screamed, tackling the regular and causing his pistol to discharge. Cadence was lucky to survive, the lead ball passed so close to her that it actually shattered the jewel adorning her tiara before she hit the ground and was encircled by guards who dragged her behind them. Shining Armor used his heavy form to pin Ramsay to the ground before roughly head-butting him with his helmet, causing Ramsay's head to bounce between the steel plates and the hard tiles of the ground, opening up a missive gash through which blood leaked profusely. In response Ramsay's body went limp for a moment as the whole world began to spin. He quickly recovered however thanks to the massive amounts of adrenaline coursing through his system, and brought his pistol to the side of Shining Armor's head as hard as he could, denting his helmet and making him roll off of him.

Immediately Ramsay was surrounded by guards pointing their spears at him. Shakily he got to his feet and eyed princess Cadence, in his eyes the cause of all his troubles. In a sudden movement he yanked the sword from its scabbard and rushed the princess, slapping the spear of the guard before him with the blade so it pointed away from him. Then using his own momentum he launched himself towards her before anypony could reach him. His burst of violent energy was for nothing it seemed, as he was cut off just before he could bring the blade down on her. He felt himself suddenly freeze, encased in a midnight blue glow. Out of the corner of his eye Ramsay saw Luna glare at him before he felt himself flying. Ramsay felt the sensation of weightlessness end abruptly when he smashed into a pane of glass, shattering it. He then fell, feeling a prominent fear well up inside him as he did before coming to an inevitable, bone shattering stop. His vision clouded slightly as he looked up groaning in pain, and watched the princesses and Pegasi guards descend like angels and land around him.

"Take him to the dungeons, keep him away from the others." Celestia said faintly. In Ramsay's disoriented state he reached out a hand and grabbed her hoof gently, mumbling something that sounded like a faint "please". After that he fell still and his breathing regulated.

There was a silence for a moment before Celestia spoke again "And get him a doctor and some food."