Fallout Equestria: Seven Mistakes

Tired. Tired of waiting, waiting for the next scrap of food. If it can even be called that. I get tired of listening to stories of how ponies could change things. Thats all they were though, stories, dreams, what some pony wanted to be but was too scared to pick up the gun and pull the trigger. Instead, most ponies are the runnin type. The cowards. Shit, we'er all cowards aren't we? You got the most bullets, the better guns, you win. You get the drop on 'em, you win. You got more food, your a target, you got more food in ya...ya win. Simple, coward, tactics...A real hero, a real pony wouldn't need our shortcuts. There so high and mighty right?

"Hey! You done having your thirtieth introspective or did your brain finally fry from all that useless thinking you do!?"

Dizzy. My ghoul campanion. Says he hails from Canterlot. Didn't believe him, till I saw him take a torrent of buckshot. Allthough he was more than that. Even being a ghoul he was rather different. Decapitation doesn't kill him. Dismemberment only irritates him. I even saw his head get smashed to smithereens once, every little bit just crawled back into place. Most disgusting thing every witnessed. Flesh would just come on back, crawling like a rad roach. Squishing and sloshing...

"Seriously! I need help you ass! Stop with the deep thinking before your fat head explodes!"

"Alright, alright. Give me that shovel."

"Get it yourself!"

"Jeez Dizzy, can't ya just be a little less cranky?"

"Its not my fault that you couldn't find the only marked graveyard in Rider! How can you possibly get lost, its in the middle of nothing!" Dizzy threw the dirt out, shoveling with his rotted hooves," Sometimes I wish I could just die so I wouldn't be stuck with your incompetence!"

"You don't mean that, now come on. We got to get this over with already. I hate grave digging, makes me feel...wrong..." I never liked digging in graves. Defiling a ponies resting place made me sick. I wasn't a believer or anything. Never thought the goddesses were strong enough to make the waste land better so how could they be real. But just rustling the bones of a dead pony, felt like I was spitting in the spirits face or somethin. I donna know...I needed the caps to eat, Dizzy needed something for the pain. Something that didn't quite get easier with each shot and amputation he got.

"Stuff it Kellum, your a merc, whats it matter if your soul is rotten. Just-" Dizzy stopped, his hoof hit something hard," Ow, fuck! I found it! He's in there Kellum, finally!"

I shoveled the rest of the dirt and started pulling up the planks of the wooden casket. Wasn't anything special, for a legend you'd think he'd have his whole body covered in gold. My red combat armor clanked as I reached in to grab the decomposed corspe. Dizzy hoped up on ground level. A revolver lay in his crossed hooves, I wasn't interested. I heard enough stories to scare a virgin into a whore. I picked the revolver up and set it back inside the coffin. I lifted the body up, Dizzy grabbed the corspe and dragged it next to the dead tree," Alright, get your lazy ass up here!"

I was about to get up, but an orb caught my eye. I never seen anything like it really. It kinda looked like a perl, or it a least I thought a perl might look like that. Mama never got around to showing me what one looked like, always liked telling me bout the old world. I wondered if she ever knew about this? Had my suspicions that it must be some magic involved. I let it be, no point in taken something that could be worthless anyway. I scrambled to the top of the dig site. My brown coat made it difficult to know how dirty I was, but my yellow mane was always covered in muck. Easy to see. Hard to get rid of. Never had time for a shower, or time to find safe water...

"Kellum!" Dizzy growled in his hellish ghoul voice," Focus..."

"Sorry...just, thinking..."

"Its been three years since we started this expedition of ours, most of the time your always thinking...Don't you every wonder what it'd be like if you just didn't even worry about, ya'know, thinking?"

"I'd imagine i'd be like you..."

"Yeah, your point!"

"No point really. So, what do we have?"

"Lot of jewelry, you'd think he'd be a mare. Clothes are still nice...With this, and the other junk, 5,000 caps. Find anything else in that coffin?"

I shrugged," Just some orb...why?"

Dizzy's jaw dropped, almost fell off actually," You fucking brilliant asshole! You found a damn memory orb! Those things have to be with something, A unicorn might buy it, worth a shot, get it! Get it, get it, get it!

I hoped down again, we had dug out a crater just trying to get close to this damned casket. I hope he was right about that estiment. Should hold us over for a few weeks. If we'er lucky at least two full ones. I reached for the orb. It felt strange, I felt like I shouldn't have grabbed for it. I could hear my heart beat slowly, once, twice, three times...four...five...six...*cough* *cough*"Shit!" I spit out some mucus, drained from my nose. I didn't have time ta be all superstitious. I grabbed the orb and returned to Dizzy. We gathered up our findings, put them in the sac, put that on the kart, and wheeled it all to Rider.

"Did we really have to take the corpse?" I asked Dizzy as we headed to Rider. Shouldn't be too far now.

"I don't feel like taking all his crap off in the heat, makes me angry! Rather do it in the hut!"

"Everything makes you angry."

"Your damn right, the hut however is a lesser piece of shit compared to the goddessdamned sun!"

There it was again. He always said stuff like that. Never took him as a believer. Always bitter, hateful, don't know why we became friends. Sometimes I wasn't sure if he even considered me that. If we weren't, why would he stick around for three years? How old is Dizzy anyway?"Dizzy?"

"Yeah, what is it..."

"How old are you?"

Dizzy looked back at me and stopped,"Why?"

"Just curious. You say your a Canterlot ghoul. Most ghouls there where there when those bombs exploded long ago. Wouldn't that make you like, a two century old ghoul...?"

Dizzy turned around and snarled," Whats it matter!? So what, I came from Canterlot! Big fucking whoop! If I wanted to talk about my past I would, problem is, I never liked my past! Sure as hell not gonna talk about it!" Dizzy gritted his rotted teeth.

"Well, I just wondered if you ever believed in the goddesses?"

Dizzys expression softened. I never thought i'd see him drop his guard like this. He said plainly and clearly," No...not even for a second..." His eyes shifted to the left. I looked behind me and dropped to the ground. A whole army of raiders was moving slowly across a ridge. On a higher ground I saw what looked like a preacher with a mare by his side. They weren't running from the raiders though...what the hell?"Those idiots are going to get...wait..."

"Is that preacher leading them?"

Dizzy grumbled," We gotta leave...their looking at something else. Come on, lets get out of here..."

I wanted to watch, see what they were up to. Guess it wasn't that dire. Needed to sell this junk so I could eat something that wasn't smothered in radiation. Soon we found ourselves approaching Rider. We kept our gear close and our weapons closer. Dizzy liked his pistol. Me, I liked my brush. It did its job, modded and maintenance kept it my favorite gun for ten whole years. Condition was like new, and if not, better. We had just a few caps from our last run for two crappy drinks at the Rusty Pegasus. Never liked the name, not one pegasus in sight. Shuold've changed it really.

"Cheers...to, still being alive" I clinked my glass to Dizzys. He stared at his glass with some kind of a distant look. Like he was looking beyond the drink somehow.

"Two hundred and eight years...Thats how old I am," Dizzys voice cracked, I could hear his breathing slide out of the holes in his neck." Saw the greatest, wealthiest city fall...covered in pink cloud. Don't know how I kept my sanity...thought i'd be mindless by now. Guees it took an all out war just to find what I'm good at...staying alive." Dizzy furrowed his brow. He threw the cup at a table next to us...Unfortunately that table had a group of griffin mercs. Didn't seem very happy about the drink spilling over on there table.

The head griffin rose from his chair. He stared down at us with his red eyes, lots of chem use maybe. He's beak was cracked and a scar ran straight down the middle of his face. His barding was sleek, bright purple. Tapped his claw on the ground impatiently. " Well...?" he paused," An apology...no, it'd save you a lot of hurt ya'know. I hate being dissrepesteced by a bunch of puny ponies, especially a ghoul..."

"Why don't ya shove that threat up your ass feather weight, trying to sit here and sulk with my ass of a friend! Jeez, its like stupidity runs in the griffin blood line or something!"

The griffins weren't even wasting time, not a single word left there beaks. Battle saddles loaded up and took aim. Five distinct shots blew Dizzy away, his body flew into the wall. Different fluids leaked from his raged clothing. He lay there almost lifeless. I kept drinking, this was one of my favorite kind of moments. I liked watching idiots like this piss themselves when they can't oil something as annoying as Dizzy. "You! Dumbass, you see that? Your friend crossed us. If you got any sense you'd..."

"I'm trying to drink here buddy...plus, my friend isn't really getting the point. Maybe you should express you inqurys to him a little more." I took a swig from the mug and reached slowly for my brush gun.

The merc griffin stared at Dizzy, saw his flesh crawl back to his body. Other ponies watched in awe as well, his body rose slowly. He staggered and mumbled something I couldn't make out, not that I didn't have an idea, i'm sure it was something intelligent as it always is. " I told you griffin, to shove it!" Dizzy pulled his gun quickly, battle saddles unloaded. I fell backwards in my chair and put a few shots threw their wings. Made sure to ground them before this fight got unfair. Ponies started clearing out and grabbing drinks as they ran outside. I missed the wings of the griffin behind the leader, he swooped upwards and came down raining bullets on our heads. Dizzy stood in front of me and took every shot, at the same time he unloaded a clip into the griffins skull. He fell right on top of us, like a rock with wings. "You idiot! Your suppose to take out the wings! I hate air targets!"

"I missed, happens...Come on help me get this bastered off..." We tried shoving but the griffin was a lot heavier than I thought. I could hear the other mercs reloading. I wasn't new to the idea of shooting through a downed ally. Fuck, we can budge but not fast enough. At this rate..."Grenade, left pocket, ya see it?"

"Yeah, what about it!?"

"Grab one, throw it."

"Why don't you just get it! Does look like I can throw a grenade without splattering your remains all over the place!?"

"Not much choice Dizzy, you'll survive the shots. I won't, you gotta try. I can't move to it..."

Dizzy siged, looking at the pouch he ripped it open. All kinds of explosives rolled out onto the floor. Acid grenades, incineration bombs, plasma bombs, it was a buffet of Dizzys least favorite weapon. He picked up a standard fragmentation and threw it over the dead griffin," There its done!"

"Dizzy...did you even take out the pin?"

"The what? What the hell is that!?"

"It release the lever on the grenade! It makes it go boom you fool!"

"Fuck i'll try it again then!"

Guns unloaded. Bullets whizzed by and ripped throughout the exposed parts of the griffin merc. They ate at the armor till there was nothing blocking the path of the other rounds. Dizzy grunted in pain, reaching out for one of the grenades got his hoof shot off. He shifted again, more rounds went through him. Some shots dented my armor, others pierced it. I could feel them, like they were still moving. I heard a familiar sound, clink sound. Griffins yelled, a big explosion came shortly after. Probally a good thing we were under this griffin because these winged pest were hoarding loads of explosives in there rucksacks. The owners of the bar, along with a few other ponies, helped pull the dead griffin off us. They didn't look entirely happy with us but they told us if we cleaned the mess up we'd be even. Turns out these griffins were harassing most of the patrons here, coming and going. Glad we could help I guess. I limped to the door of the saloon, told me the doc was as good as a whole staff."Thanks again Empty Bottle..."

"Just get patched up, need these corpses cleaned up. I can deal with the vomit, the urine, but not the rotting bodies...hurry up now your getting blood on the floor."

I chuckled at the mare. Very hospitable pony. Dizzy and me made our way to the docs. I wasn't found of doctor visits, tried my best to keep away from them. Heard stories about doctors who do experiments on ponies, while there still alive. I had a feeling that this one would be that kind...I hate doctors, always patch myself up. This time however was different. Wounds too deep, can't really concentrate much. Dizzys been yapping this whole time and I don't even remember when he started talking. Now that I think about it, i've stopped moving. Not exactly what I was planning but this'll do, i'll just pass out here then...

"Kellum! Kellum you better not pass out...! You ass...!"

~~~

"Here, take this just in case..." The doc gave me a few buff outs and some med-x. I wasn't keen on taking drugs, even the medical kind, but the pain was more then I could handle. I popped a few med-x and stored the rest along with the buff out in my puch. Looked over at Dizzy, reading...Dizzy can read? "Don't stress yourself, those bullets opened a hole in your chest. I used some potions to heal ya up, but that hole left some tissue in a weak state. Take it easy and it'll heal."

"Thanks doc, how much I owe ya..." I was hoping he'd be paitent enough to wait. Not really caring any money.

"First ones free, next time you show up half dead you better have some currency of some sort. I don't run a charity, its a legitimate business...Do me a favor though and don't make this an everyday thing. I like the pay that comes in...just get tired of healing up idiots..."The doc showed me out. I limped out the door, dizzy followed me.

"You read?"

"What? What kind of question is that? What else can a two century old fuck like me fill his time with!? Hated it when I had actual skin, now, its the one thing that reminds me that I don't have to deal with it in agony, all this shit!" Dizzy pulled our wagon, harness buckled around his frame,"...besides, you can learn some useful shit in those books. Maybe if you spent more time reading and less time thinking to death you'd learn a bit more. Implied knowledge isn't knowledge..."

Dizzy grunted and snarled as he pulled the heavy wagon. Our little treasures and trinkets rattled, every small rock we hit made them all shake and shift. He didn't complain about pulling it this time, with all the holes in me, I wouldn't be much help. I wondered what made Dizzy so mad all the time? I perished the thought, we were approaching two ponies with a brahmin pulled wagon. More efficient then doing it yourself, but we weren't exatclly well off enough to by something that needed to eat. We'd probably end up killing it and cooking it. The two ponies, a mare and a stallion, stood on each side of the brahmin. One was in some reinforced leather armor. The other was adorned in bramin skin overalls. Goggles on his mane and scarf around his neck. The mare had her mane in a ponytail and a combat helm. She took her goggles down and stared at me with a confused look. Dizzy set the wagon in front of them and unstrapped himself, he pulled the tarp back after that. We both laid out the different merchandise. Broken weapons, sky wagon parts, ok condition grenade launchers. Most of it was junk, but the merchant wanted to see what he could make of the stuff we found. Being a scavenger in the waste wasn't easy. Sometimes you never found anything, other times you'd hit the jackpot. We had a burnt radio and some kind of engine but it wasn't exactly worth much.

"This here, this is some interesting finds. None of it looks like it works but...I think I can make this work. How much you want for all this?"

Dizzy grunted, his eyes darted to me," Better if you ask the cripple. Hasn't been doing much but getting shot."

I chuckled, it hurt a little but thats fine," For all this junk, two thousand..."

The merchant raised his eyebrows, looked over it again," Ok...i'll do that..."

"For this junk..." I pulled the corspe out from the wagon. The merchant gagged and coughed, dizzy and me chuckled. "This right here is good for something right?"

"*ack* *cough* Um, I don't know if ya noticed. But I don't buy corpses..."

"No, not the corspe." I grabbed a few of the silver pieces from his person we were able to extract," This stuff here, its valuable, has to be. Got the corspe of a legend here." The merchant inspected the silver, the jewls caught his eye too. He grinned and looked over the corspe. He went over to his body guard and whispered something.

"What are they doing?" Dizzy asked as he reached for his pistol.

"Hey calm down...just give 'em a sec," I stopped his hoof from moving any higher. He mumbled and grunted.

The merchant turned back around ," Ok...whats your price?"

"ummm..." I thought on it, they looked interested in the metals. I didn't know if they were that valuable or if it was just some pretty metal. Doesn't matter to me..." Three and five hundred..."

He pondered on the price for a while," Alright...i'll throw in another five hundred for the whole corspe. Deal?"

"Yes! Here take this smelly thing!" Dizzy tossed the body over. The body guard caught it and glared at the ghoul. The merchant handed over the caps."I don't even care for counting it, sounds like a lot to me! Hahaha!"

"It was nice doing business with ya..."

"Wait...," I ran back to our wagon. I had almost forgotten about the orb. It glowed, like a star would, I reached for it. That feeling came over me again. I ignored it, picked it up and presented to the merchant. He looked confused, but after closer inspection he seemed amazed."Well...whats it worth?"

"Um, not much really, i'll give ya a thousand...maybe...I don't know, kinda worthless..." He couhed a little and patted his chest," Yeah, not much I could do with it. Thousand caps, i'll get it out of your way."

I looked down at the glowing orb. Dizzy said it was a memory orb, not like it wasn't impressive but what would I do with some other ponies memory? Dizzy was too busy counting the caps, guess he was so excited that he just had to do something with 'em. I rolled it around, a small letter rested on the bottom. I was a little curious but...its just a stupid orb. For a damn unicorn, witch I am not. We already got over five thousand..."Alright...i'll take that..."

"Ok then...here ya go. We'll be on our way, be careful out here..." The merchant left, moving towards the outskirts of Rider. The body guard stopped and looked at me. I wasn't sure why, she turned and continued to accompany the merchant. What was that about?

Me and Dizzy pulled the cart through the the ruins of the older part of Rider. Its said that there was some war here a long time ago, wiped everything out. The part of the town remaining was the smallest part of rider. Things is, that part isn't an average sized town. Always imagined the place being some big fortress, or castle. Mama use to tell me a lot about the princesses, and all their subjects. Maybe it was something like that? We kept most of the junk and threw the rest out, no point in keeping it I guess. We passed the sign that read: Welcome to Rider, getting close." Remember, gotta watch for those damn lunch boxes..."

"What asshole sets up a bunch of mines right outside of a town! Its shit like that doesn't make sense, unless these ponies are filled with caps, I don't want to see there insides fly everywhere!" Dizzy picked up the pace," Come one lets hurry up, i'm getting all sticky in this fucking heat!"

"Yuck, sticky?" I gagged," Anyway, didn't take you for the kind of pony ghoul to not like it when ponies explode."

Dizzy looked back at me with a cold stare," Stupidity is sad, lost its funniness a long time ago for me. Nothing makes me madder than some greedy bastard expecting to get rich, don't even think that it might be a trap until its too late." Dizzy sighed," At least you aren't a fucking idiot..."

I smiled," Well than-"

"Maybe your a little stupid, but not a complete idiot..."

My smile was wavering in its strength to hold up, I just nodded," Gee, thanks..."

We reached our shack, it was worn down and leaked like pony full of bullet wounds with a drinking problem, but, it was home and home is...smelly I guess. We put the left over scraps in the foot lockers, stashed the weapons and started sorting through the caps. I could finally get my guns repaired, some clean water maybe, and food that doesn't turn my shit into strange colors for once. Dizzy wasn't eager to spend money but even an undying ghoul has everyday desires. I know he wanted a better slide for his pistol, maybe a grip that didn't taste like burnt ass.

"How do you even use that thing?" Dizzy pointed to my brush gun. I never gave it thought, sometimes i'd stand up on my hind legs, sometimes i'd use my mouth. Always thought it akward but when your still more alive then the pony shooting you up then ya can't complain much.

I held up the rifle and smiled," I just manage however the situation calls for me to. The wide trigger makes it easy for my hoof to pull back on when i'm standing straight up though, saw a few ponies do it before. Pretty damn effective if ya ask me.

"I didn't..." Dizzy said flatly,"....but that is a smart choice, couldn't do it myself. I was thinking of making my pistol an automatic, think it'll be worth it?

"Why not we got the money, i'm feeling hungry though..."

Dizzy sighed," You and your needs, fine lets get some grub for you obeseness!"

I chuckled, his cruelty never dulls," Your a real asshole Dizzy..."

"Yeah well-," Dizzy stopped mid sentence. His red eyes darted to his pistol then back behind me, then to my eyes. He had a pissed look on his face but it wasn't directed at me.

My rifle was still in hoof, I was ready to cock the lever but a feminine voice spoke from behind me with a stern reassurance of my life ending quickly If I were to finish that action..."You, and him, Kellum and Dizzy. You have something i'm looking for.

"Can I turn around first?"

"Slowly..." I turned," Gun, on the floor. Ghoul, yours too. If you comply no pony gets an unwanted death. I got word from the towns people that your grave robbers, is that correct?"

"Entrepreneurs of the finer things of life that include digging through a corpeses grave, thats us." I smiled, she looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I noticed her revolver, it couldn't be...

"Who the hell are you!? And have you ever heard of knocking you rude bitch!"

She disregarded him. She didn't mind the name calling, but her revolver floated even closer to Dizzys head," I heard you don't die, but getting your head blown off can still be bothersome. Please, tell me if you have the orb or not. I need to have it in my posetion before its too late. The fate of the waste land depends on it..."

Dizzy broke into a fit of laughter," Oh boy, fate of the waste land huh!? Haha, this is just rich!"

The unicorn was loosing her patience, she put a round into Dizzy's chest. He stopped laughing and held his chest. Seething in anger and spite he tried to jump at the unicorn. Magic enveloped him and tied him to his chair. Yellow magic belts wrapped around his legs." I don't have time for this! If you don't tell me were the orb is, I'll kill your friend. The revolver pressed against my head. I could feel the burning metal sear at my flesh. I hissed in pain.

"Fucking crazy bitch..." Dizzy mumbled,"...we sold it ok, to some merchants. Had a brahmin, said something about a hut next to one of those old post office buildings in Old Rider..."

She eyed Dizzy, sized him up. Her gun withdrew and she holstered it behind her ragged robes. The mare wasn't sure whether to trust him or to just out another round in him from the look of things." You actually treasure the friendship you have with this pony. I figured you were just a greedy partner...I'll take your word for it..."

The mare took a look at me and turned to the door," I hope you find what your looking for..."

The mare stopped, paused for a while," My name is Sweat Peas...and i'm sorry for this, and thank you..."

Sweat Peas left the hut and closed the door. The belts on Dizzy disappeared and he slumped to the floor." Fucking shit that hurt, whats with her?!"

I trotted over to Dizzy, picked him up and started inspecting his wounds." You'll be fine, flesh is reconnecting. Your always fine anyway, so stop yer whining."

"Fuck you...I'm just gla-"

The door opened quickly, a familiar clinking sound along with a distinctive thud caught our attention. The cramped space was ideal for such a weapon and the timing was perfect. I wasn't expecting to die in such a way. I was a little hopeful when I realized only one of us would die. The problem with that logic was clear when I realized that this weapon was specialized for the soul purpose of complete magical obliteration. Before we could share that knowing glance that'd this'd be it the device ignited. The flames burned first then the magic hit. It was fast...too fast. Should have shot her, years have made me soft I guess...

The thought that entered my head...before it was over...what was so damn important about that silly orb?