"Today, I decree that we shall have... a snowball fight."
It's quite a strange thing, the power of words.
What had previously been a rather active and bustling courtroom was struck with total silence by those ten simple bi-syllabic at best words. Every single eye in the courtroom was fixed on her, and the expressions of the ponies left no doubt that they thought that their ruler had lost her mind.
But she did not waver.
Princess Celestia, the sun goddess of all of ponykind, stood tall, her head slightly raised and her rather considerable wings spread to their full extent. There was no hint of any jest in her eyes. After a few moments of silence, it seemed to all of the ponies present in the court that Princess Celestia was as serious about this as she had ever been.
Still, there was a slight chance...
One of the nobles who had been speaking about increasing taxes to repair and improve water treatment facilities gently cleared his throat. Normally such a noise would have gone unheard by any, save for the few standing closest to the pony in question, but in the silence of the courtroom, it might as well have been a cannon shot.
"Er... Princess Celestia..." The noble took a tentative step forward. "Please forgive me, as my hearing is not quite what it was when I was a younger stallion, but did you say... you want us to have a snowball fight?"
Celestia gave a single nod. "Indeed I did, Baron Richelieu." For the first time since making the decree, Celestia moved. She stepped off of the dais of her throne and walked over to one of the large windows in the throne room to stare out into the city beyond the castle walls. "The first winter snow fell last night. Four inches of perfect snowball snow. It would be an insult to the pegasi who worked day and night crafting each individual snowflake year round if we were to just step on it and be on our way. We must enjoy the fruits of their labor if we are to truly honor it." A wry smile crossed her face. "Besides, we have day court every day, and it's always the same. We need to change things up every now and again."
"I see." Richelieu exchanged a glance with the noble standing next to him whom he had, admittedly, been arguing with about the taxes. He began to ponder whether or not that was what had brought this about, and as such, whether or not this was all their fault. "And you think that a... snowball fight is the best way to do that?"
"Yes."
Now, the ponies who generally came to Celestia's court knew how sure of herself the princess was. She was a pony who chose her words carefully, and always said what she meant. However, the level of conviction with which she had said that word sent chills up their spines. This was Celestia like they had never seen her before. In an odd way, it frightened them. Even the guard, who was, on the whole, used to Celestia's little idiosyncrasies, felt a slight hint of unease when they combined what was happening now with the stories that they had been told of the first dozen or so years of Celestia's reign, and how she often made silly, foalish decrees on a whim. They wondered, admittedly not for the first time, whether or not they would be made to wear belled sombreros if Celestia decided to re-implement "funny hat Friday."
Even so, maybe there was a chance that she was joking, and being really committed to the joke. Celestia was known to have a sense of humor, or at least, one more refined than that sister of hers, and it was quite possible that she was merely attempting to shake things up a bit, as it were. At least, that's what they had to hope for. Richelieu cleared his throat once more and tried again.
"So... when you say snowball fight, do you mean...?"
"I mean that the entirety of the court, including the ponies waiting outside, will go to the castle gardens, which should be large enough, where we will pack snow into balls and hurl them at each other until we run out of possible fun to have." Celestia took a slow, deliberate breath, her blank expression betraying nothing. "Yes. Yes, that sounds lovely, doesn't it?"
"Well, Princess, it sounds irregular, is what it sounds." Richelieu twisted his mouth into a slight frown, though he was far from the only one. "A snowball fight? That sounds like a rather foalish activity, if you ask me."
"Ah yes. Ask." Celestia subtly nodded a few times before finally turning her gaze from the window and looking at Richelieu. "That's just the thing, though, isn't it? I didn't ask. I decreed. I decreed that we would all have a snowball fight. I also add on to that decree by saying that it will be an obscene amount of fun for everypony involved."
Yes, there it went. All doubt that Celestia was anything but completely serious evaporated. There was no turning back now. They were caught in this latest mad idea of Celestia's, and there was no getting out of it. Celestia walked back to her throne and addressed the crowd of ponies. "I expect all of you in the castle gardens for our snowball fight in fifteen minutes. Use the time to dress in whatever winter gear you desire. I will know if you are not there, and I will not be pleased."
Celestia saw a few shudders go through the gathered ponies, but she didn't care. There would indeed be consequences for disobeying her orders. This was for their own good, as well as hers. She was a being who had lived for millennia, and who would live for many millennia more after these ponies she was gathering now were gone. She liked to think that she knew what was best for them, and if a random snowball fight the day after the first snow of winter was what was best for these stuffy nobles, then that was that.
Celestia teleported back to her room and walked over to her large wardrobe. She opened it up and levitated a blue and gold scarf she had received as a gift three Hearth's Warming Eves ago from Twilight, and wrapped it around her neck. Technically her alicorn biology made her far more resilient to the elements than the average pony, but she rather liked the scarf, and never passed up an opportunity to wear it.
With one more flash of her horn, Celestia appeared in the castle gardens, where the guard who had been present was already standing at attention, along with Captain Shining Armor, who was at the head of the group. Many of the nobles and commoners who had been present were also starting to file in, most of them decked out in winter gear. Their expressions ranged from unease to cautious optimism that this might actually turn out to be something enjoyable as long as they gave it a chance.
Celestia smiled at the ponies who were coming. Most of the ones from the court seemed to be there. None dared disobey a direct order from her, even if they felt the order was completely ridiculous. She would be talking to any of the ones who did not attend the fight. Not that she liked punishing her ponies for something as outwardly trivial as this, but she was their ruler, and disobeying this was technically an act of direct defiance. Though, now that more ponies were filing in, that did not seem to be an issue. Most, if not all, of the ponies in attendance at her court had arrived.
And each and every one of them was staring directly at her, watching. Waiting.
Now it came down to it. This would be a moment that would be forever remembered in the history of Canterlot, nay, Equestria! Ponies everywhere would talk in their homes, in schoolyards, in the corners of dimly lit pubs while nursing watered-down cider and smoking knockoff Griffonian cigars. Each would question just what had caused Princess Celestia to randomly uproot her court to the castle gardens to have a snowball fight.
Technically there was still time to reverse the decision. Celestia pondered this as she ignited her horn and scooped up a small mound of snow, which she began molding into a perfect sphere. She could pass it off as a joke and they could all go back inside. She could maybe order hot chocolates for everypony as a way to dull the considerable awkwardness that they would all surely feel if she did such a thing.
Yes, she thought as she looked down at the snowball in her hoof, completely aware of the dozens of eyes fixed on her. There is still time to do that. Slowly Celestia raised her head and looked out into the small crowd of ponies before her. Her face split into a wide, mischievous smile.
"Nah."
And with that, Celestia drew her hoof back, and threw the snowball as hard as she could. Her aim was immaculate, and it collided with the helmet of Captain Shining Armor with a resounding clang.
Instantly the guard sprang into action. Shining Armor started gathering snowballs of his own and distributing them to his non-unicorn soldiers. "We're under attack! Take defensive positions!"
"Treat all ponies as hostile," Celestia said, a hint of a laugh in her voice.
Shining Armor paused for a moment, his gaze flickering over to the gathered civilians before he shrugged and continued hoofing the snowballs out. "You heard her, mares and gentlecolts! All ponies are to be treated as hostile!" He gathered one last snowball for his own use, and then pointed to the gathered nobles. "Fire!"
A volley of snowballs rained down on the nobles, who scattered like cockroaches in light. The number of them meant that there was precious little room for maneuvering, so many were struck by the wet, snowy projectiles. Celestia heard a wail of anguish, and saw Prince Blueblood sitting on the ground, wet snow dripping down his mane. He made eye contact with Celestia and pointed a hoof at Shining Armor. "Auntie Tia, that ruffian assaulted me! He targeted my royal being personally!"
Celestia sighed patiently and facehooved. "So, throw a snowball back at him." She put her hoof down and created a snowball that she put in Blueblood's hoof. "That's the purpose."
Blueblood stared bemusedly at the snowball in his hoof for a few moments before looking up at Shining Armor who was giving him a smug smile. Blueblood's eyes narrowed. "I see. That's the way of it? Have at you, knave!"
Blueblood's hoof came forward, and the snowball sailed a good thirty hooves over Shining Armor's head. Shining Armor laughed and stuck his tongue out at Blueblood as he gathered more snow for another attack. Blueblood let out an indignant squawk. "Oh, it is on now!"
And just like that, the floodgates were opened.
Once it became clear that the guards were attacking civilians, it was fight or be crushed under a pile of wintery death. Well, or sleet getting stuck in the back of your scarf. Death might be a little strong. Within minutes, small factions began forming, which Celestia originally objected to until she saw that they were not as she expected. Baron Richelieu was creating snowballs as fast as he could and hoofing them over to an earth pony farmer who had come to ask for help with his land. Said farmer was aiming the snowballs at no one group in particular, scoring direct hits all over the battlefield. The guards originally worked together and carved a slushy swath through the chaotic mass of ponies, but one soldier scored a hit on one of his fellows, and after a rousing cry of "traitor!" the alliance was off, and the guards chose opposing sides. Reporters came in with cameras and notebooks to document the madness for the evening news, but one stray snowball struck the hat off of a reporter, and that was it. The reporters joined right in.
And it was beautiful.
Through chaos, there was harmony. Celestia's ponies were working together and against each other regardless of class or race. ysocial stigma, every bias, every preconceived notion of what kind of pony the other was, was left outside of the battlefield. Here there were no titles. Here there was no class. Here they were just... ponies.
Snow flew from every direction, making no place in the gardens safe from assault, and Celestia was right in the middle of it, making short work of any who caught her eye. Even then, she was struck with her fair share of snowballs. Not even she was safe from the chaos she had wrought. She chucked a snowball at a speeding pegasus who had been dropping snowballs like bombs on unsuspecting ponies below, and struck her right in the left shoulder, sending her spinning. She packed up another snowball and saw that Fancypants and the lieutenant of her guard, a rather large unicorn stallion named Iron Hoof, had eschewed snowballs and had moved on to snow swords, which they were now vigorously dueling with. Fancypants' rapier was barely parrying the broad strokes of Iron Hoof's snow claymore, and it was only through the careful direction of his wife, Fleur-De-Lis, that he managed to stay in the fight at all.
Just as Celestia was about to continue throwing more snowballs, she heard the sound of far more powerful wings flying close to her, and she looked to see Luna flying towards the mass chaos, a look of utter bewilderment on her face. Celestia threw the snowball in her hoof before turning to Luna as her sister landed next to her.
"Tia, what is the meaning of this nonsense?!" Luna yelped and ducked a snowball that barely missed the tip of her horn. "The nobles and the commoners are... snowball fighting!"
Celestia vigorously nodded and readied another weapon. "Indeed, sister, and nonsense is the point!"
Luna's jaw dropped as she watched her sister throw her readied snowball. "Celestia, did... did you bring this about?!
Celestia giggled madly and looked back to her sister, a wild look in her eye. "Indeed I did, Lulu. I just stood up in court and decreed that this was to be." Celestia's smile turned mischievous, and she spread her wings. "And now that you're standing on the battlefield, I'm afraid that you are now fair game."
Before Luna could say anything more, Celestia flew over to a nearby pine tree and bent it backwards with her magic, She focused all of the snow covering the tree to the very top, and when it was ready, she release the tree, flinging the snow right at her thoroughly bemused sister. It was over before Luna even realized what was happening. The mountain of snow descended upon her, and by the time the powder settled, all Celestia could see was two blue legs, one of them missing a shoe, sticking out of the recently fired mound.
A cheer went through the few ponies who had bothered to watch the attack before they went back to their own devices. Celestia laughed and stomped her hooves on the ground as Luna popped her head out of the snow. She fixed Celestia with a steely glare and flared out her wings so wide, the tips of them poked out of the snow.
"If that is the way of things, Celestia, then on your head be it."
Celestia smirked and licked her lips with the tip of her tongue. "Come and face me if you dare."
With a war cry that pierced the heavens, Luna flew out of the snow and illuminated her horn as her night guard flew out of the castle to defend their princess. She started accumulating all of the snow around her until the snowball she was controlling was the size of a small boulder. Not to be outdone, Celestia lit her own horn and flew into the air to amass a similarly sized snowball. Once both goddesses had their weapons, they both let out shouts that commanded the attention of everypony on the battlefield. All stopped fighting as the two princesses flew towards each other at breakneck speeds, readying their snow boulders for the attack. This would be a moment that would be talked about as long as ponies were capable of communication!
And then it was time to raise the sun.
Celestia's eyes fluttered open, and she became aware of her surroundings. She wasn't outside in the gardens with her court. She wasn't having a massive snowball fight where her ponies were acting harmoniously despite the odd circumstances. She was in her room.
Alone.
And her alarm clock was ringing.
Celestia gave a quiet sigh and turned her alarm clock off. It was still dark outside, but that would be fixed soon enough. Celestia slid out of bed and walked over to her balcony. She opened the double doors and stepped outside. She was hit with a wind chill that would have caused normal ponies to shiver, but she shrugged it off. The first snow of winter crunched underneath her hooves, creating a white blanket on her balcony. Some servant would probably fly up and shovel it off later.
Celestia looked to her right to the adjacent balcony and saw her sister walking out, smiling fondly at the moon. Luna gave it a single nod and whispered something to it that Celestia couldn't quite hear before she looked over at her sister. "Good morning to thee, Tia. Didst thou sleep well?"
Celestia gave her sister a small smile and nodded. "I did."
"Sweet dreams, We hope?"
"Yes." Celestia let out a single chuckle. "I suppose it was rather ridiculous now that I think on it, but in my dream I randomly decreed that my entire day court would go out and have a snowball fight."
"Oh?" Luna raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "And did they do such a thing?"
"Indeed they did." Celestia turned her head to look out into the city below and rested one of her forelegs on the railing. "It was complete chaos. Everypony was working together, but against each other at the same time. They didn't care about anything when they were having that snowball fight, just having fun."
"Hmm." Luna walked up to her own railing. "Dreams have a way of making impossibilities seem quite real." Celestia flinched slightly, but it went unnoticed by her sister. She looked over to Luna who was smiling up at the moon again. "Tis one of the things We love so much about them."
"Indeed." The two sisters were silent for a moment before a playful smile crossed Celestia's face. "You were in the dream too."
"Is that so?"
"Yes. We were about to engage in a mighty duel before I woke up. Snowballs the size of boulders, our guards fighting below us to represent us..." Celestia lightly chuckled. "It was quite something."
Luna copied her sister's chuckle. "It sounds as such."
The two sisters stood in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company. They would raise the sun and moon in a few moments, but for now they relished one of the few times they could have together. However, before Celestia could think about raising the sun, she heard the sound of snow colliding with the railing a few inches away from Celestia, spraying her foreleg with fresh white snow. Celestia looked up and saw Luna smiling at her, though there was a hint of sadness behind the expression. Celestia smirked and created a snowball of her own that she chucked half-heartedly in Luna's direction. It sailed over her left shoulder and hit the deck behind her.
The smiles of both sisters fell, and they turned towards the horizon, igniting their horns to move the sun and the moon.
* * * *
"And that, your majesty, is why we need to raise taxes on the middle class by two percent annually for the next five years. The resulting income will allow us to repair, and in some cases improve, the water treatment facilities in six of the largest Equestrian cities."
Celestia slowly nodded and looked down at Baron Richelieu, who was smiling proudly. She shifted on the fluffy pillow situated on her chair and stared ahead. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw out the window that snow was beginning to fall on Canterlot again. She turned her head to stare out the window. In her mind’s eye she could see the little fillies and colts frolicking in the snow, having snowball fights and making snowponies. When was the last time she had made a snowpony? She couldn't remember.
"Princess Celestia?" The voice of Baron Richelieu cut through her thoughts. "Is my proposal satisfactory, or are there issues?"
"I..." Her voice was barely audible as she spoke.
Celestia took a quiet breath. Say it. Just say it and see what happens. What is there to lose? Their respect? You raise the sun. They'd respect you no matter what. You protect them, nurture them, care for them, feed them, and give them light. They can do something for you once, can't they? Something that will truly, deeply mean something?
"I..."
Baron Richelieu frowned. "Is there something the matter?"
"I decree that we shall have a snowball fight."
The words were barely a whisper, but it was quite plain that Celestia had spoken. The gathered ponies in the throne room began muttering among themselves, few sure if they had heard her right. Baron Richelieu looked politely puzzled and cleared his throat, though it went unheard in the murmur of the crowd. "Er... I'm sorry, I wasn't sure if I heard you correctly. What were you saying?"
"I said..."
Her mind’s eye flashed once again of her ponies, all in the garden. They were bickering now; divided into factions based on their social status. At least, the few who had stayed were. Many were using the chaos to slip away unnoticed. In the center of it all, Celestia saw herself. Staring at the chaos she had wrought. Her expression was completely blank as she watched the shouting ponies around her.
"Yes? You were saying?"
Celestia snapped out of her thoughts and back to the court. She took a deep breath and looked down at her subjects whose expressions were beginning to show some concern. She forced her serene smile on her face. "It's nothing, my little pony. I was merely thinking out loud. Making a mental note for later use."
Richelieu's confident smile returned. "Ah, of course, your majesty. Forgive me if I intruded."
"Do not trouble yourself with it." Celestia ignited her horn and levitated the scroll her scribe had been writing on. "Now, two percent increase annually for five years? Have you considered the reaction from the middle class? Now I'm not opposed to the idea, as we do need to upgrade our water treatment in at least Baltimare and Fillydelphia for sure, but we must consider the effects on the ponies you wish to tax."
And with that, Richelieu began droning on again in a rebuttal of Celestia's points, not noticing that Celestia was, out of the corner of her eye, looking out the window, wishing just once for a snowball fight.
