Avoiding Homework

by Level Dasher

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Dinky Hooves, Other, Crossover, Doctor Who, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 3726

The Cutie Mark Crusaders try to use time travel to avoid doing their homework. This couldn’t possibly come back to bite them in the flank, right? RIGHT?

The Cutie Mark Crusaders don't want to do their homework, so much so that they try to use time travel to avoid it. Key word here: "try."
With nothing more than a bag of muffins and their wits (emphasis on muffins), they stumble through the black-and-white syndicated worlds of yesteryear.

Inspired by some of my favorite comic strips, this was my attempt at a random one-shot when I needed a break from other projects.

Cover art by me.
Edited and proofread by Shahrazad, with some early pre-reading input by Crystal Moose.

Published 2014-01-25 18:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-25 18:10:06 UTC

Cutie Mark Crusaders Time Travelers YAY!

“Darn it! Why’s Miss Cheerilee gotta give us so much homework?” Apple Bloom tossed her pencil over her shoulder and onto the floor.

“Doesn’t she know we have better things to do?” Sweetie Belle leaned her back against the wall of the clubhouse with a sigh. “The Gryphon Wars, Of Mice and Mares, Algebra, why does she have to pile on so much at one time?”

“Even with us doing one assignment each, we’ll never get all this done and still have time for crusading. I wish this stuff could just do itself.” Scootaloo flopped onto the floor, closing her eyes with a groan.

After a few minutes of obscure thought, an idea struck the young pegasus.

“Hey… maybe the homework can’t do itself, but somepony can.” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle turned to Scootaloo with wide, unblinking eyes.

“What are you talking about, Scoots?”

“Yeah, who else are ya gonna git to do th’ homework? Ah bet only Twilight knows this stuff back and front, and we’ve tried askin’ her fer help before. You know she don’t help with homework without yappin’ our ears off first.”

“No, I’m not talking about Twilight. I mean US!” Scootaloo explained.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cocked a brow at each other and rolled their eyes.

“Ah can’t believe Ah didn’t think’a that mahself.”

“I think the work overload’s gone to her head.”

“No, I’m serious! Sweetie, didn’t you say yesterday that you had been looking at the updated time-travel spell that Twilight finished?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, so what?”

“So, let’s travel forward in time and get the homework from us in the future after we’ve already finished it!”

Apple Bloom face-hoofed. “Scoots, you’re talkin’ crazy. That…” She paused for a moment before looking Sweetie Belle in the eyes. “…that actually may not be a bad idea.”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “Nuh-uh. From what I read, time travel is messy— it’s not something you wanna screw up. Besides, I haven’t even tried it yet. I still need to do some test runs first.”

“Then do a test run here! I wanna see you try it! I’m sure you’ll do fine!” Scootaloo was a little too excited for Sweetie Belle’s taste.

“Thanks for the support, Scoots, but it’s really not a good idea. It would take a lot of time to get it right. Even if I get it right the first time, I’d still only be able to do it by myself. If I can barely do it on my own, there’s no way I could transport all three of us, and I’m not making the trip myself.”

Scootaloo hung her head. “Naw, we wouldn’t want you going alone… Shoot.”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “It wasn’t a bad idea, though. I guess we just hafta— wait…”

“Wait for what? The last thing we should be doing is waiting,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “That’s not what I meant, Scoots.”

“What’s up, Apple Bloom? You think of something else?” Sweetie Belle tapped her pencil on the floor.

“Well, maybe you can’t time travel yet, but what about Dinky’s dad? He’s got that blue box thingy, don’t he?”

“Hey, yeah! But he wouldn’t let us use it like that,” Sweetie Belle pouted.

“What if we just sneak in real quick and bring it back before anypony notices that we left?” Scootaloo asked.

“If we did it right, maybe. But we don’t know how to use that thing,” Sweetie Belle huffed. “From what Dinky told me, it sounds complicated.”

“Then let’s bring her with us! She can get out of doing her homework, too!” Scootaloo jumped and hovered in the air for a split second before plopping back on the floor. She glared at her tiny wings for a moment, then looked back to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle with a smile. “Let’s go now before it gets any later!” Without waiting for a response, Scootaloo was out the door.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shrugged at each other before galloping out the door after Scootaloo.

“…I don’t think time travel will really work in this situation, girls. Besides, I’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t be very happy if we used the TARDIS like that.”

“Aww, come on! Can’t we at least give it a shot?” Scootaloo pleaded. “You can get out of doing your homework, too!”

“I already finished most of it. And no, I’m not just going to give you the answers.” Dinky had seen that look before.

“How do ya work so fast?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Uuhh… good time management?” Dinky smiled nervously. After a moment, she sighed. “Well, I don’t really know everything about the TARDIS, but I’ve seen my dad use it enough that I can probably figure it out. Good thing my parents are out working. Mom’s route ends in about two hours, and Dad won’t be back until tomorrow. Eh, why not? Even if it doesn’t work, it’ll at least be amusing. Let’s give it a try!”

Dinky led the would-be time travelers into the attic where the TARDIS stood. The three of them stared at it for a moment before Sweetie Belle asked, “Are you sure we’ll all fit?”

Dinky smirked and said, “Just go in.”

The girls shrugged at each other as Dinky opened the door. When they walked in, their jaws dropped. They’d only heard about this box from Dinky— they’d never actually seen it. As soon as she saw their expressions, Dinky thought to herself, Three… two… one…

“It’s bigger on the inside!” all three girls said in unison.

“Cooooooool…” Scootaloo whispered.

“How in tarnation is that possible?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Don’t ask. Even I don’t know,” Dinky responded. She walked up to the central panel to get a good look at everything. She pressed a few buttons and punched in some numbers, double-checking to see if she had done everything correctly. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was double-checking, but her dad had made a habit of that. She then looked around the whole room to make sure everything else was in order.

“Okay, I think that should do it for the time. It’s about five o’clock now; I set the clock for nine. Considering all the work we were assigned, it would probably take that long to have it all finished. Now, where should we set it to land? Your clubhouse, right? That way my mom won’t see us and realize we’ve taken the TARDIS.”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah, we usually don’t leave headquarters until around 9:30, so that sounds good. But what about you?”

“What about me?” Dinky asked.

“Don’t you wanna get your homework, too?”

“I told you, I’m almost done. I’ll finish it when we get back. I’ll bring us back to 5pm when we’re done; that’ll be plenty of time for me to finish.”

“Umm, okay,” Apple Bloom said. “Doesn’t seem fair that you won’t get outta doin’ your homework, too.”

Dinky sighed. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

After another once-over to make sure she had done everything correctly, Dinky remembered something. “Hold on, I’ll be right back. Do me a favor— don’t touch anything, okay?”

“Of course!” Apple Bloom smiled. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo nodded as Dinky trotted out the door, leaving the Crusaders alone.

“I can’t believe this worked! Dinky is awesome!” Scootaloo was beside herself. “How is she not a Cutie Mark Crusader? Did we never ask her? I don’t think she has her cutie mark yet, either.”

“I don’t remember. If we didn’t, we should. If we did, we should ask her again!” Sweetie Belle remarked.

“And how!” Apple Bloom said. “Hey, what if we get our cutie marks for this?”

“For what? Avoiding doing our homework?” Scootaloo asked.

“No, Featherbrain. For time travel! That’d be awesome!” Sweetie Belle said.

“You ponderin’ what Ah’m ponderin’, girls?” Apple Bloom asked. *

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo smiled and nodded before the three of them jumped in the air and clapped their hooves, shouting, “Cutie Mark Crusaders Time Travelers YAY!”

As the three of them landed, Scootaloo stumbled and fell back, smacking her head on the side of the center machine.

“Owww! NOT cool!”

“Yeesh, Scoots. That looked like it hurt somethin’ awful. You okay?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Scootaloo responded. “At least Rainbow Dash didn’t see that.” She got to her hooves, rubbing her head.

At that moment, Dinky came back in with a big sack hovering behind her.

“What’s all that, Dinky?” Scootaloo asked.

“Muffins. Mom keeps a stash for emergencies. Celestia forbid something goes wrong, we don’t wanna go hungry.”

“Smart move,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Well, let’s give it a go, shall we?” Dinky put the sack down, then trotted up to the central panel and yanked a lever.

“Hold on to your hooves, this could get bumpy!”

After the whirring noises of what they assumed to be an engine died down, the Crusaders turned their heads to Dinky with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

“Okay, that should be it. Let’s see if we can hear anything,” Dinky said.

Scootaloo rushed to the door and put her ear against it. “I don’t hear anything. What would we normally be doing after we finish homework?”

Dinky chuckled. “Well, the question isn’t what you would normally be doing. The question is what you would be doing if a big blue box just appeared in your clubhouse out of nowhere.”

“Good point,” Sweetie Belle laughed. The Crusaders looked at each other for a brief moment.

Apple Bloom piped up, “We’d probably be sittin’ there with our mouths hangin’ open.” She started for the door, but was stopped by Dinky.

“Listen, girls— the less time we spend here the better, so let’s see if we can just grab your homework and get out of here, alright?” There was a unanimous nod before Dinky opened the door. This revealed the Crusaders’ other selves glaring at the mysterious time vehicle. To the time travelers’ surprise, they were not impressed.

“Don’t even,” the other Apple Bloom said.

Dinky smirked. “I thought so.” The other Apple Bloom waved a dismissive hoof at her.

Just then, they heard a voice outside the clubhouse.

“DINKYYYYYYYYY! DINKY, YOU’RE IN THERE WITH YOUR FRIENDS, RIGHT?”

Dinky gasped. “It’s my mom! What the heck is she doing here? Get back inside! Now!”

The four fillies dashed back into the TARDIS and shut the door. With a quick punch of certain buttons, Dinky pulled the lever again.

“Geez, I hope we got out in time. Luckily, I do know the settings for my attic pretty well. We should be back in my house in a second.”

After the whirring stopped, Dinky opened the door of the TARDIS. However, what she found was certainly not her attic.

Dinky found herself with her eyes locked on a tiger. Standing next to it was a creature she had seen once before, but didn’t know much about. She remembered her dad calling them “humans.” This one was rather small, and it had spiky, yellow hair.

Before Dinky had a chance to ponder what happened, the human spoke. “Hobbes, what the heck is going on here? Did a pony just walk out of that box?” No sooner was this said, the Cutie Mark Crusaders came out as well. The human’s eyes bulged. “Where the heck did THOSE come from?”

The human ducked behind the tiger, who had the next word. “What exactly are you doing here?”

Dinky sighed. “I’m sorry. We don’t mean any harm. We seem to have had a bit of a time-travel accident.” Dinky mumbled to herself, “Get out of homework, my flank…”

The tiger and the human’s eyes went wide as the tiger asked, “Did you say ‘get out of homework’?” Dinky nodded, and the two strangers burst out laughing.

“You remember when we tried that, Hobbes?”

“Boy, was that amusing!” The tiger rolled on the floor, howling.

“I’m still going to get you for that story you wrote, you know,” the human said between breaths.

“Hey! You got an ‘A’ on it!”

“…I know. But still!”

As she watched the interchange between the two strangers, Dinky put a hoof to her forehead. “I knew this wouldn’t work. Where the hay are we?” The Cutie Mark Crusaders had just been standing there, wondering the same thing. They finally moved when Dinky said, “Get back inside. I have to see what went wrong. I may have pushed the wrong button or something.”

“Don’t push the one that goes ‘boink’!” the human called after them, still laughing.

The four fillies walked back inside the TARDIS, and Dinky went back to the control panel. After a minute, the Crusaders heard a harsh sigh.

“Geez, I was one button off. There we go, this should be right. Time and place settings are for my attic at five. Hold on!” Dinky pulled the lever again, and the whirring began once more.

After the sound died down, Dinky said, “Well, apparently those two we met a few minutes ago have tried what we were doing before. Clearly it didn’t work, so it looks like you’re going to have to do your homework yourselves after all.”

All three crusaders groaned as Dinky opened the door.

“Uuuuh…”

“Hey Marcus, did a unicorn just walk out of what looks like a TARDIS in my living room?”

“Uh, that’s what it looks like, Jason.”

“Should we be excited or freaked out?”

“It looks like the unicorn is way more freaked out than we could be.”

“Good point…”

Dinky stared at the humans in front of her, her eyes completely glazed over; they looked a bit different than the spiky-haired boy that she had met a few minutes ago. The fact that they knew about her dad’s TARDIS was a little unnerving, but they didn’t seem to be dangerous.

That thought was quickly replaced.

“HEY PAIGE! YOU KNOW HOW YOU ALWAYS WANTED A PONY?”

Dinky’s eyes went wide as dinner plates as the Crusaders approached her from behind. “Stay inside! We’re getting out of here, now! Hold the door!”

Dinky rushed to the control panel and checked the settings again. “I don’t understand! I did everything right! The time settings, the place settings, everything’s in order!” She heard a knock. “Buck it, let’s give it another shot!” She yanked the lever down and the whirring began again.

“I really hope that worked. I just don’t know what went wrong!” Dinky was panting, sweating, and running ideas through her head. “Move aside and let me check if it’s okay.”

The Crusaders stepped away from the door as Dinky opened it a crack and peered outside.

“Oh, come OONNNNNNNNNNNN!”

“What?” Scootaloo asked from behind Dinky as she glanced out the door. They clearly weren’t at their desired destination, but it didn’t seem overly dangerous. “It doesn’t look like there’s anything here. Can’t we take a quick look?”

Dinky glared at her and groaned, “Fine. You look. I need to see what’s going on here.”

Scootaloo shrugged and said, “Well, okay! Come on, girls!” The Crusaders casually trotted out of the TARDIS into a clean living room. There didn’t seem to be much around, though one thing stood out: a box with a tucked-in blanket covering some kind of creature. It was breathing, so it had to be alive.

“Hey, let’s see what it is!” Scootaloo offered.

“It looks like it’s sleeping. We should leave it alone,” Sweetie Belle answered.

“Aw, come on! If we’re gonna explore, we should take a little risk!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Ah dunno ‘bout that, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said.

“Oh, buck it. I wanna see what it is!” Scootaloo lifted the blanket slowly…

…and Sweetie Belle got a good look. “Awwww! It’s a tabby! Oh, Opal would just love you!”

The unicorn’s squeal awoke the cat, who was clearly not amused.

“…I hate Mondays…”

Sweetie Belle gasped. “And it talks! Ooooh, can I bring him home?”

The cat was ready for this. “Hey, Odie! Could you give me a hand? Or, a paw?”

The Crusaders heard a bark, then turned around to find a grinning, yellow pooch gallivanting into the room with a long, slobbering tongue hanging out.

This time, Apple Bloom cried, “D’awww! Look at ‘im! He’s so happy!” She leaned forward and ruffled her hoof between his ears. The dog happily pounded his hind leg on the floor as he was scratched. “He looks like a… a beagle/dachshund mix! Winona would love him!”

Scootaloo heard the cat say, “Nah. He’s a purebred clown. Thanks a lot, Odie. You make a horrible watchdog.” This elicited a laugh from Apple Bloom.

As her friends snuggled with their new playmates, Scootaloo said, “Uh, I’m gonna go check on Dinky.” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded their approval, then continued enjoying themselves.

As Scootaloo sauntered back to the TARDIS, she thought, Too bad there aren’t any turtles here… When she approached the door of the blue box, it swung open on its own. Dinky was standing there with a vein throbbing in her forehead.

“I thought I TOLD you not to TOUCH anything!” Dinky said, breathing heavily.

“We didn’t!” Scootaloo insisted.

“Then why was the ‘shuffle’ button on?!”

“Huh? Where’s the ‘shuffle’ button?”

“It’s on the side of the panel!”

Scootaloo’s eyes bulged, then rolled around and faced the floor. “Oooooooooh… Um, whoops?” She gave an overly wide grin as she curled her eyebrows up.

Dinky glared at the pegasus and yelled, “What do you mean, ‘whoops’?!”

Scootaloo shuffled her hooves. “I, uh, I must have slammed it with my head before…”

Dinky’s panting slowed, but her glare was just as intense. “Your head? How the hay did that happen?”

“Uhh, don’t ask. But I can show you the bump if you want.”

Dinky put a hoof to her forehead and sighed. “I believe you. Just go get the other two and let’s go home.”

Scootaloo rustled her mane. “Uh, can you come with me? I might need a little help with that.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, they’re… they’re playing.”

Dinky cocked an eyebrow at Scootaloo. “And this requires my help because…?”

“I think they wanna bring ‘em home.”

Dinky shook her head. “Oh Celestia, why?”

Scootaloo led Dinky to the outside room where Sweetie Belle was snuggling the reluctant tabby and Apple Bloom was rolling around with the pooch. “See?” Scootaloo said. “I don’t think I can tear them away from that.”

Dinky glared at her. “You’re kidding, right?” Scootaloo shrugged.

The unicorn put her hoof down. “Apple Bloom! Sweetie Belle! Put the animals down! I figured out the problem with the TARDIS…” She glared at Scootaloo, who put on another sheepish grin. “…so let’s go home.”

“Awww, do we hafta?” Apple Bloom whined.

“Can’t we stay a little longer?” Sweetie Belle chimed in.

Dinky’s eyes almost went red. “Get in the TARDIS now, or I tell Miss Cheerilee what you tried to do. You still have to actually DO your homework, anyway, since this didn’t work… like I figured it wouldn’t.”

Scootaloo decided to intervene. “Uh, girls? Let’s do what she says, okay? I don’t wanna hafta go into the muffins Dinky brought. Let’s get outta here while we know what we’re doing. Or, she does.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle groaned.

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

The two of them put down their new friends. The yellow pooch began to whimper as Apple Bloom waved goodbye, but the cat sighed with relief as it snuggled back into its box and covered itself with its blanket. Sweetie Belle was a little down.

“Good. Now let’s get OUT of here,” Dinky said, exasperated.

As the whirring stopped, Dinky turned to the Crusaders, the supply bag hovering above her. “If we aren’t in my attic when I open this door, you three are gonna be in it pretty deep. We better not have to open this bag of muffins.”

The unicorn slipped the door open, took a look, and sighed. Turning back to the Crusaders, who were waiting with anticipation, she said, “You’re lucky I know what I’m doing.”

The three fillies let out a breath of relief. They followed Dinky out of the TARDIS and back into her attic. As Dinky stopped short, the three of them crashed into her and fell to the floor. The bag of muffins fell on top of them, but thankfully, nothing spilled out.

“I was wondering what happened to our emergency stash. Where did you go? I got off early, and I really needed one of my blueberry specials!”

“We, uh… we took a little trip,” Dinky told her mother. “I thought it would be smart to have the muffins in case we got stranded somewhere.” Dinky turned around and glared at the Crusaders. “And we almost did.”

Scootaloo laughed nervously.

“You still have homework to do, young filly! You know better than to do anything funny before your homework is finished. You tried to take advantage of my schedule!”

“I know, Mom. I’m sorry. My friends here wanted to try something. I didn’t think it would work, but I thought I’d humor them, anyway. That was my fault. I figured I’d finish my homework when we got back. In fact, I’m gonna go do that now. I wanna talk to you when I’m done, though.”

“Oh? Is something wrong?”

“No, I just want to ask you if you could do something for me. I’ll tell you later.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Thank you for taking responsibility for your mistake.” Dinky gave her mother a kiss and went downstairs.

As the Crusaders got to their hooves, Apple Bloom hoofed over the sack of muffins that had fallen on top of them. With a slight glare, but a hint of interest, the mailmare asked, “What in Equestria were you girls trying to do?”

The Crusaders looked at each other for a split second, then hung their heads, speaking in unison,

“Our homework…”

Author's Note

The nostalgia is strong with this one. Boy, do I miss the "old days."

Speaking of which...

*Alternate response: "I think so, 'Bloom, but where are we going to find rubber pants our size?"
(Shahrazad caught this reference without hesitation and gave me this response before he continued reading, so I decided to put it down here for an added 90's throwback. Enjoy.)