The First Pony Assassin

by Lil Drabant

Chapter 1

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Alright, you lads want a story? I'll give you a story. I'm going to tell you about my past as a pirate and an assassin. Let me get a few things straight. There is me, Captain Bass Drop. I used to be a hip lad, made dubstep. Then my mentor, Edward Kenway. I had only spoken to him twice before he took me under his wing. He became my best friend. You think i mean someone who just sticks around a few years and pisses off. No. I knew by the second month he trained me we'd be friends til' the day we both get our necks slit. Then there is his quartermaster, Adewale. Big man, african, and will fuck you up if you tell him about it, i don't recommend it.

This story is about how i went from a broken stallion, to a deadly force of nature in under 10 years. It will not be the cleanest story, that i promise you.



I was in my bedroom with my beautiful, beautiful, marefriend. Her name was Rainbow Dash. He name should have been Fucking Beautiful. Heh, cheesy, i know, but its true. I loved her more than i loved myself. She deserved the best, and the best she was getting today. When she left the room to get something, i looked into a little black box that i had stuffed away in my pocket. It was about time i made an honest mare out of her, oh it's time.

I looked, and i looked away, the ring was beautiful, it was pure diamond laced with gold. Spent about 2,000 bits on it. Only the best for my Rainbow Dash. I shoved it back into my pocket when i heard her running up the stairs, still hella fucking happy. She came over to me and bear hugged me like never before, never happened, I was quite surprised actually, because she kissed me.

"I love you, Babe. You taking me to do this really means a lot to me." Rainbow said, smiling.

"No problem, i just thought i should do something for my beautiful marefriend" I said back to her, smiling as big as she was.

She kissed me again, and asked me "Show is in about an hour, should we get going?"

"Yeah, of course, I really don't want to be late for something like this" i responded with happily.

We flew out the window of her house, since we were both pegasi, we could fly. We were headed up to the sky city of Cloudsdale, beautiful place. All made of clouds, absolutely amazing. Though as we flew upward, i caught glimpse of an old timey ship sliding into port, it was odd, since there have only been a few ships like that, with you human climbing odd them with your muskets and your flintlock pistols. I ignored it, being i really didn't care, probably just a few traders and merchants.\

When we reached the arena in Cloudsdale, the show was ready to start, so i handed the tickets to the stallion behind the kiosk. He smiled and said "Hey, your right on time, show is just about ready to start" and he unlocked the gate, to which Rainbow flew right through and plopped right down in her seat, already cheering and screaming like all the other fans of the wonderbolts. I could tell she was very excited about this, i was happy she was, i could only hope when i popped the question to her, she would be even more excited if not just as excited.

I don't want to bore you lads about the damn race, because i don't really remember the race anyway, nor do i give a fuck about it.

Once the race was finished, me and Rainbow Dash went to go get some food from the table while we waited for the next race to begin, in which Soarin wasn't competing in because he won, he would be waiting for the semi finals before he raced again, and in that time....my life went to shit.

"Wow babe! That race was awesome, the coolest thing ever!" Rainbow said, eating her food.

She reached back to one of her wings, and she plucked a feather from one of them, and handed it to me, smiling.

"Here, that feather was loose, you keep it, like a gift forever from me" she said, smiling.

I held it in my hand, clipped it to my belt so I wouldnt loose such a thing, and i kissed her, and said "Thanks babe, I love it. Um, how about you go talk to ponies in the crowd meet a wonderbolt, i have a few things i need to do really quick, alright?"

She smiled widely, said "alright babe!", kissed me, and ran off.

I got up from the table we were sitting at, and walked over to a balcony with a few other gentleman like myself her standing.