PonyFall: Australia

by Thunderbug80

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 128118

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are transported to Australia by Discord, where they try to find a way home

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy thought they were going to help banish Discord for a third time with their friends and the two princesses. That was precisely what was happening until they both found themselves suddenly transported to a strange new world under a flashing pink sky.

A man named Doug "TheSlorg" Collins finds two young women who are naked, confused, and smell of fudge in the Australian Outback. He then reluctantly agrees to help them return home. But when "home" turns out to be Ponyville, things become a bit more complicated than he bargained for.

Part of the PonyFall collaboration series.
Visit the PonyFall TV Tropes Page
Temporary cover art by Speccysy

Published 2012-04-14 02:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2020-01-26 04:52:54 UTC

Setback in the Outback

Setback in the Outback
April 13th 2012

"Bloody hell," I cursed, shaking my thumb as if that kind of motion could actually alleviate pain. I threw the mallet down into the dirt and foliage with a scowl.

I stood up and had a look at my progress. The tent was almost fully pitched. All of the poles were in place, but the guy ropes still needed to be secured. The weather had been too windy lately to get lazy with details, but the damned ground was too solid in this area. Pounding the pegs in was like trying to fit a square block into a circular hole. It was possible, but you had to pummel the living hell out of them to get it to work.

I looked at my recently pummelled thumb, which now sported a deep, purple bruise. Such a fine way to begin a camping holiday, I thought. Now all I need is a bloody brown snake to come upon my camp while I sleep.

I knelt down and retrieved the wooden mallet, and got back to work with hammering the pegs in. I hadn't expected the ground to be so hard, or I wouldn't have bothered pitching here. I was stupid not to test the dirt first, but live and learn. By the time I finished securing the final guy rope, I calculated my oversight to have cost me an extra thirty minutes of work. Bollocks.

Careful to avoid tripping over the guy ropes, I made my way towards the tent's entrance and unzipped it. Once I was inside, I quickly zipped the flap closed once more. I tossed the mallet into an unused corner of the tent, stretched, and promptly noticed the large number of insects that were crawling and flying all around.

"Wankers," I muttered. I never understood how they could always find their way inside in droves, regardless of how careful I was in pitching the tent.

I moved to one corner of the octagonal tent where a pile of clothing lay. Tossing shirts, shorts, and socks over my shoulder, I was finally able to find what I was looking for. I picked up the can of bug spray with a devilish grin. Time to die, I thought as I unleashed pressurized hell upon the tiny vermin that had sought refuge in my tent. I was relentless, even chasing the ones that tried to escape to the outside. Within moments, the vast majority of bugs were either dead or dying. I began to sigh in relief, but gagged and had to rush to the tent entrance. I fumbled with the zipper before finally being able to open the flap and escape the gas chamber I had just created for myself.

"Bugger it," I said through gulps of fresh air.

I walked over to where my 2007 Holden Barina sedan was parked, tripping over one of the guy ropes in the process. I pulled my keys out of the front pocket of my shorts and clicked on the little car icon on my key. The alarm turned off with a boop boop, and I retrieved my fishing rod, net, and tackle box from the back seat. I closed the door and locked the car again, despite being alone in the middle of Burrinjuck Nature Reserve. The park rangers were the only ones who knew where I was located, but I had spent years in inner Detroit, and had picked up the habit. I found it to be a good one to have.

It was still fairly early in the day. I had arrived at the site just prior to 11:30 after stopping by a McDonald's on the way there. Consuming the large Fillet-O'-Fish combo with an extra McChicken on the side had ensured that I wouldn't be hungry again for a while. That left plenty of time for fishing, which was to be my main form of entertainment during my week-long stay. I began to make my way toward the four mile-long trail that led to the deeper, better fishing spots along Lake Burrinjuck, where I fully intended on spending as much time as necessary to catch something large enough to eat for dinner.

The tell-tale pull of a fish on the line attracted my immediate attention. I was sitting in a wonderfully comfortable spot by the edge of the lake. Large trees grew on the hill behind me, and shaded me from the harsh Australian sun. My back was leaning against a large rock, upon which sat my tackle box, net, and a small cooler filled with ice and cans of Coke. Two empty cans lay by my feet, to be collected later. I wiggled my toes in anticipation as I waited for another tug.

"Come on," I whispered.

There! I yanked the rod upwards and began reeling in the line. The little devil began putting in some resistance, so I let the line drag out a short distance before locking it in and reeling once more. I stood up and held the rod with one hand as I picked up the net and prepared to haul in my catch. A sudden, desperate burst of energy from the fish forced me to drop the net and concentrate on what I was doing. The line swung back and forth in the water as the fish struggled to pull free from the hook. I began to anticipate fresh fish for that night's dinner as I imagined how large the little beast on the hook might be. Perhaps it was a carp, or maybe a rainbow trout. I hoped it wasn't a Macquarie perch. Those were protected, and I would have to toss it back into the lake if that were the case.

As I reeled my potential dinner in close to the shore, I thought I saw a flash in the sky. My attention had been fully upon the water, so I felt perhaps I was imagining things. There weren't supposed to be any thunderstorms until later in the week, and even then the chances were slim. I decided the flash was unimportant, especially since I didn't hear any thunder afterwards. The sound of thunder would have caused me to immediately pack up and rush back to my tent. Rainfall was notoriously heavy during this time of the year, though April marked the end of the wet season. I turned my attention back to reeling the fish in.

The line snapped.

"Bloody hell!" I cursed for the second time in as many hours. "That was my favorite lure." I was complaining to nobody in particular.

I stared at the snapped line as it blew about in the mild breeze that had picked up in the past half-hour or so. The loss of my plastic prawn lure made me grit my teeth as a scowl appeared on my face. Little Bubba Gump was gone, and all I was left with were generic plastic worms and a few jig heads. Sighing, I turned around and opened up my tackle box. I selected a new hook and sinker, attached them to the line, and jammed one of the worms onto the hook. I then turned back to the water and furiously cast the line as far as I could. I watched as the hook landed in the water with a plop. I almost immediately afterwards had my attention wrestled away from the sight when the sky flashed again.

It had clearly turned pink. The sky had been its normal, slightly cloudy, blue self. Then, for no apparent reason, it had flashed a dull pink color. I sat and stared at the sky for a few moments, my dinner temporarily forgotten. The clouds looked as they had before, and nothing else seemed out of place. My eyes drifted down to the empty Coke cans lying in the sand near my feet. I had never suffered any side-effects from my caffeine addiction besides an occasional headache if I hadn't had any for a while. Could a headache cause your vision to flash? My head felt fine, though.

I quickly reeled the line back in and detached my lure. I could always drive up to the ranger's office and visit either the carry-out that was right beside it, or the cafe across the road. It would mean leaving my tent unattended, but there probably wasn't anyone else around for at least a few miles. I tossed the hook, lure, and sinker back into my tackle box, and snapped it shut. I was just bending down to retrieve my fallen net when the sky flashed again. Twice in a row.

What the balls is this? I thought.

I slowly retrieved my net with my eyes still glued to the sky. It flashed several more times, and each time presented the sky in the same dull, pale pink color. Unlike lightning, I couldn't tell where the pink glow originated from. I didn't feel afraid. I had been fairly close to tornadoes in the past and hadn't been afraid. I was certainly curious, however. I doubted anything strange was occurring, such as an alien invasion or the likes. Still, the strange pink flashing continued as I picked up the empty Coke cans and tossed them into the cooler. I had just picked everything up and was preparing to trek back to my tent when another odd sensation stopped me in my tracks.

Do I smell fudge? I wondered.

I knew fudge had a fairly distinct aroma, and I was certain that was what I was smelling. My mind pondered this new development. What kind of wanker tries to make fudge in the middle of the bush? I decided to find out for myself and started to climb the embankment from the lake shore up to the trail above. Perhaps someone else was out here and could confirm that I wasn't the only one seeing the strange pink flashes in the sky.

Pushing past low-hanging tree branches that partially obscured the trail, I carefully moved along in the general direction of the scent. Soon the leafy canopy of the tall trees above blocked out most of the sunlight, but it was still bright enough to navigate easily. The smell began to grow stronger, and I found myself leaving the trail. This was a very dangerous thing to do while out in the bush, but there was obviously someone else out here, so I felt safe enough. I had two fishing knives available at a moment's notice if it came to that, but I doubted anyone who would cook fudge in the bush would turn out to be dangerous. Perhaps a little nutty, but not dangerous.

I had to move slowly to avoid getting my fishing rod or net caught on the many bushes and branches that grew in the area. I ducked my head under a large spider web. If the web's owner was a red-back or white-tail spider, I could find myself in serious trouble if bitten this far away from help. The bite of a white-tail could cause nausea, and possibly gangrene around the bite. A red-back bite could leave me partially paralyzed without a fast injection of anti-venom.

The smell grew in intensity as I pushed further off the trail until I finally pushed through into a small clearing. I scanned the entire area quickly, but there were no camp fires set up here, and no visible signs of fudge. I frowned, knowing that the source of the smell had to be very close. I crept along slowly, trying to pinpoint it. Climbing over a fallen tree, I saw something that made my heart stop. Two naked, female bodies were lying directly on the other side of the tree.

I fell over backwards off the tree and landed hard on my back. I threw down the net and fishing rod, and frantically opened the tackle box and withdrew both fishing knives. I removed them from their sheaths and pressed my back up against the fallen tree. Was some kind of psycho out here luring people with fudge and then killing them? That didn't make any sense, but it also didn't stop the intense surge of adrenaline I felt. My eyes darted everywhere, trying to determine if I was being watched at that very moment. My hands tightened on the grips of my knives. I realized then that they would be a pretty pathetic defense against whoever had murdered those girls if he or she had a gun.

Several minutes passed, but if there was a murderous psychopath still in the area, it didn't seem ready to kill me just yet. The smell of fudge was also still very strong, as well. I thought about that; I should have smelled decaying flesh instead of fudge. I had been unfortunate enough to stumble upon a body when I lived back in Detroit, and you never forgot the smell. It was entirely absent here.

I slowly inched my head up to peek over the fallen tree. The area was psychopath-free. I sat back down and put the fishing knives back in their sheaths, then put them back into the tackle box. I left my gear where it was, and climbed back onto the tree. There, just below me, were the two young women. Both were either dead or unconscious. One of them had long, straight hair that was a pale pink color, which reminded me of the flashing pink sky. She was short, and looked rather delicate. Her pale white skin looked entirely unblemished. I guessed her age to be around twenty or so. The other girl also had pink hair, but hers was a bit darker, and was styled in long curls. Her skin was a little darker than the first girl's, but was also perfectly unblemished. She also seemed to be around twenty years old, though I was admittedly terrible at guessing women's ages. I noticed neither girl seemed to have any kind of wounds on their bodies.

I hopped down off the tree and landed beside the first girl with the pale, pink hair. I felt awkward, but I needed to determine if the young women were alive. If so, I knew senior first aid and could possibly provide assistance with whatever had befallen them. I watched as her breasts slowly moved with the motion of her breathing. Checking the other girl's chest, I noticed she was also breathing. I felt relieved that neither of them were dead, though it left plenty of questions as to what they were doing in the middle of the bush with no clothes on. Had they been doing something kinky and been bitten by something? I didn't see any visible snake bites on either of them. A spider bite would be a little more difficult to discover, and would require a thorough examination of their bodies.

I sighed and stood up. Both girls were breathing regularly and seemed in no immediate danger. I began to have a quick look around to see where they may have discarded their clothing. It couldn't be too far, unless they had been running from something. I wondered why they smelled like fudge. Maybe it was some kind of perfume gone wrong. I kicked around the leaves and foliage, but there were no clothes in sight. Bloody great. I walked back over to the girls and bent down beside the one I had first examined. I figured I may as well look for spider bites. I bent close and pulled her long, pink hair away from her neck.

Her eyes fluttered open.

We held each other's gaze for several silent moments. Her large eyes were an amazing shade of aqua that seemed to shimmer, and made it difficult to look anywhere else. Slowly, the girl seemed to shrink away from me and began shivering as if frightened. I realized she must be terrified.

"Hey, it's okay," I said, trying to help her calm down. "Have you been hurt?"

The girl remained silent, and seemed to be trying to curl up into a ball. Oy! Stop staring at her body, you wanker, I thought. I stood up and turned around to face away from her.

"I'm sorry, I kind of found you this way. I wasn't trying anything weird. I was just going to check for spider bites," I said awkwardly. "I couldn't find your clothes, so I really had no choice but to look at you. For bites. From spiders."

I was answered by a sharp intake of breath and a gasp.

Startled by the amount of fear in her voice, and forgetting about modesty and manners, I turned around. The young woman was examining her legs and feet with a mixture of awe and horror. Her aqua eyes moved up to her hands and arms as she wiggled her fingers curiously. She looked down at her breasts with confusion, which slowly gave way to a noticeable reddening of her cheeks. She then looked back up at me, causing me to quickly look the other way again.

"Sorry!" I called out. "I heard you gasp and thought you might be in trouble. Do you mind if I ask you something?"

I was met with silence for a moment before I finally heard a quiet, whispered, "Okay."

"I just... well don't take this the wrong way, but have you been taking anything? Maybe ecstasy or something? I mean, no offense, but you seem a little spaced out there."

Again, a long moment of silence. Finally, "Um, I don't think so."

That voice was familiar. I felt like I'd heard it before, and recently. I had a great many more questions to ask this young lady, and her friend, or partner, too.

"Listen, your friend still seems to be unconscious," I said. "I know this is awkward, but do you mind if I make sure she's okay?"

"Okay," came the whispered response.

I turned around slowly, giving the girl plenty of time to cover up. Strangely, she hadn't made much of an effort at all to conceal anything. I forced my eyes away from her body and back over to her friend's. I kneeled down next to her and began to look for bites on her face and neck.

"My name's Doug, by the way. Are you feeling well enough to tell me your name yet?" I asked as I checked on the curly-haired girl's shoulders.

"Well, um... " came the quiet reply.

"Her name is Fluttershy!" the curly-haired girl yelled as her eyes opened up wide. "Hi, I'm Pinkie!"

After having leapt backwards about six feet, I slowly pushed myself back off the ground. I took in a few deep breaths, trying to settle my heart rate back down to a reasonable, and non-life-threatening, level. I watched with fascination as the one that called herself Pinkie stood up excitedly.

"Wow Fluttershy, we're okay! I guess we were silly for being scared of that big old wave of pink stuff. I wonder what happened to us though, we look so funny! Oh, look at these!" she exclaimed, sticking one leg out, then the other, and wiggling her toes. "And what in Equestria are these?" she continued, grabbing her breasts and squeezing. She let out a high-pitched giggle.

I gawked, slack-jawed, at the scene unfolding before me. Fluttershy. Pinkie. What the hell?

You Say You Used to be Ponies? That's Nice.

You Say You Used to be Ponies? That's Nice.
April 13th 2012

"Okay, cut that out and let's be serious for a moment," I said, unamused. "I get it, you girls must be fans of ponies. I am too, but I don't go dying my hair and prancing around naked in the bloody Outback hoping to get a cutie mark. Now, where are your clothes?"

The girl who had identified herself as Pinkie let go of her breasts and gave me an awkward look. "You're silly," she giggled. "I don't need to prance around to get my cutie mark. It's right here!" she exclaimed, turning around and showing me her bum. Just below and to the side of her left cheek was a mark depicting three balloons.

"Oy! What are you, some kind of exhibitionist? I know you ladies are young, but you can be arrested for this sort of behavior. Now, please tell me where your clothes are so we can get you looking proper." I couldn't believe the young lady had actually gone out and gotten a tattoo of a cutie mark. I noticed the other girl peering at her own tattoo of three pink and yellow butterflies. They were nutters. Both of them.

"Why do we need clothes to look proper? Is there some kind of big, formal party going on somewhere? Ooh, is it a 'You-Just-Got-Zapped-by-Discord's-Mega-Ultra-Spell-of-Doom-and-You-Got-Transported-to-Some-Weird-Place-and-Turned-Into-Some-Strange-Hairless-Animal-so-We-Threw-You-This-Party-so-You-Don't-Feel-Bad' party?" The one calling herself Pinkie had actually managed to keep a straight face while saying all of this.

I sat down on a leaf pile and studied a nearby spider. It was just an orb weaver, so it wasn't dangerous. This whole situation was not going as well as I had hoped. My intent had been to check the girls for injuries, get them dressed, and then find their ID's so I could call the park rangers and get them some help. Instead, they had woken up and turned out to be a few of those kinds of cartoon fans. I kept my eyes on the spider as I spoke.

"No, lady. No parties here," I said quietly. "You can drop the pony nonsense, too. You girls clearly had a little too much fun with something, and you need help. If you're not going to tell me where your clothes are, that's fine. Just be warned that I am calling the rangers, and they're more likely to press charges if they catch you two out here without any clothes on." I pulled out my Samsung Galaxy S II from the back pocket of my shorts and looked up the number for the rangers.

The Pinkie fan walked over to her friend and kneeled down next to her. I could hear their quiet conversation as I scrolled down the long list of numbers stored in my phone.

"Are you okay, Fluttershy?"

"I... I think so. Is that really you, Pinkie?"

"Sure is!" the girl squealed.

I rolled my eyes as I found the number I was looking for. I pressed the call button and waited for the call to connect.

"Oh, I'm so glad. I was so worried about that pink magic that hit us," the Fluttershy fan whispered. She was looking at her arms and legs again. "What did it do to us?"

"I don't know, but we sure do look silly. It looks like that poor stallion over there lost his memories when he got zapped. If you ask me, he's acting kind of crazy!" the Pinkie fan whispered conspiratorially while looking at me out of the corner of her eye.

I frowned at that, but let it slide. The phone was having trouble connecting, probably because we were in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by tall trees. I sighed, cancelled the call, and put the phone back in my pocket. I looked back to the orb weaver spider as a way of keeping my eyes off of the two young women. There had to be a better way to get them to the rangers without walking through four miles of bush, especially when they had no clothing. The two continued their conversation.

"Pinkie, how are you able to move around like that?" the Fluttershy fan asked. "I don't think I could stand on two legs for long, especially when they're this long. It seems so scary!"

"I just make a game out of it. That way it becomes fun instead of being scary! It's kind of like a balancing game. Besides, it couldn't be much more difficult to learn how to do this than it was to learn how to fly!"

"Um, Pinkie? That strange stallion is kind of pulling at that short mane he has."

Letting go of my hair, I almost turned to face the girls. With some effort, I was able to remain focused enough to remember why I was looking away. It was time to put an end to this.

"Okay ladies. Can you please tell me where you're camped? I can escort you to your tent or camper, then I'll just leave you to it and forget we ever had this meeting. Sound fair?" I asked. With whatever those two were on, they would likely forget all about this in a few hours, anyway.

"Tent?" the Pinkie fan asked. "Oh no no no, we're not camping. I'd like to go camping though; it sounds like fun! But we should probably do that later, like at a time when we don't look so silly and Discord isn't still on the loose. Hey! Maybe we can all go camping after we find the others and stop Discord again. Maybe you can help us. Have you seen a purple unicorn around here? Well, she might not be a unicorn any more, but she used to be a unicorn." She had moved and was kneeling right next to me by the time she had finished talking.

My head was beginning to hurt, as it usually did when I had to deal with nonsense. It would be getting dark within the next hour, and I still wasn't back to my tent. As much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't risk trying to lead the girls anywhere in the dark. Walking through the bush at night wasn't a good idea; walking through the bush at night without clothes on was damn-near suicidal. I couldn't just leave them out here, either. It would get fairly cold as it got darker, and they needed to get to shelter. Sighing, I came to a decision.

"No, I haven't seen a bloody purple unicorn," I grumbled. "Look, we'll find your clothes and your camp tomorrow. I can take you to my tent for tonight - don't worry, it's large enough to fit six people, and I'll sleep outside. Afterwards, you can go running through the bush all you want. For now, we need to get to some shelter."

"You sure are a bossy-pants. You've been asking us questions and telling us what we should do, but what about our questions and what we want to do?" the Pinkie fan asked from her spot beside me. She was peering at me as if I were up to no good.

Raising my hands, I said, "Okay, I'll answer whatever questions you want to ask. After we get to the tent." I felt that I would probably regret that statement, but we needed to get moving. "I already said you could do whatever you want to do tomorrow morning, so don't worry about that. I can lend you two my shirt and jacket so you're at least a little covered up. It will be cold soon, so you should be wearing something." I removed my jacket, then pulled off my shirt. Bloody hell, it was already cold.

The Pinkie fan took the jacket I offered her. After examining it thoughtfully for a few moments, she put it on. It was far too big on her, and was long enough to cover everything up, if barely. I stood up and walked over to the other girl, then handed her my shirt. She stared at it for a few moments, then held it back out to me.

"Um, no thank you. I don't want to wear this," she said quietly.

I crossed my arms impatiently and stared into her aqua-colored eyes until she glanced away. "It's cold out. You need to have some clothes on, or you might become sicker than you already are," I stated.

"Oh yes, it is quite cold. It's just that the shirt you gave me is kind of scary," she said with a slight blush.

I stared at her for a good ten seconds, then glanced down at my shirt. It was a white Tapout T-shirt featuring three winged skulls on the front. I glanced back at the girl on the ground.

"Don't like skulls much?" I asked.

The girl nodded.

"Alright then. Close your eyes for a moment. I'm going to perform some magic."

"Ooh, you can do magic?" the Pinkie fan asked as she appeared beside me again. "Do I close my eyes, too?"

I nodded. Once both girls had closed their eyes, I turned the shirt inside-out. "Okay, open them," I said. "Tadaa! The horrible scary skulls are all gone. Now put it on. Please." I said the last word as nicely as I could.

The one claiming to be Fluttershy seemed satisfied, but then looked at me with confusion. "I... don't know how to."

"Of course you don't," I said as calmly as I could. "How could I expect any former pony other than Pinkie Pie to know how to put on human clothes, right?"

'Fluttershy' smiled and nodded, but the smile faded when she noticed the look on my face. I quickly faked a smile of my own. The last thing I needed was to make the girl start crying or something.

"Okay, well I can help you put it on. Unless Pinkie wants to help?" I glanced over at 'Pinkie'.

"Sure!" she grinned and helped 'Fluttershy' into the shirt. As with 'Pinkie' and my jacket, the shirt was far too big for her.

"Alright then. Stand up and let's get going," I said. I began to climb over the fallen tree so I could retrieve my fishing gear.

"I can't," came the quiet reply.

This again? I was done messing around. I jumped back off of the tree, walked over to 'Fluttershy', turned around, and knelt down.

"Um, what are you doing?" she asked.

"It's a pony-back ride!" 'Pinkie' exclaimed with a giggle. I nodded in confirmation.

"Just wrap your arms around my neck. I'll carry you back to camp." Four long miles back to camp. "Can you help with my fishing gear, Pinkie? It's just on the other side of this tree."

"Okie dokie lokie!" she said as she climbed over the tree with little effort.

I lifted 'Fluttershy' up once she had grabbed on to me tightly. She was far lighter than I had expected her to be - I was able to climb over the tree easily, even with her clinging to my back. I saw that 'Pinkie' had already gathered my fishing supplies.

"Be careful with the fishing pole, there's still a hook attached to it," I warned her. "It looks like we've got everything, so let's get going."

We began the long trek back to my camp as the sun, no longer obscured by pink flashing, began to make its way towards the horizon.

We arrived at my tent just as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. The journey had been a difficult one. Not because of any physical exertion or overly treacherous terrain, but because 'Pinkie' insisted on talking the entire way. She had first begun asking questions, to which I reminded her that I would answer them after we arrived at camp. Afterwards, she decided to tell me all about how wonderful words such as increment and kumquat were. When she began to sing about the wonders of walking on two legs and those weird things known as hands and fingers, I asked her to be quiet as politely as I could. The look on her face made me feel bad somehow, but she complied for the most part. She had eventually resorted to humming quietly for the rest of the trip.

I was preparing to set 'Fluttershy' down so I could retrieve my lantern from inside the tent when she suddenly tightened her grip around my neck. My attempt to ask her what she was up to was cut off by a few choking coughs.

"Oh m-my. Oh dear, oh no. W-w-what is that?" she asked timidly as she pointed into the darkness with her fist.

With her holding on with one arm, I was able to breathe again. I looked over to where she was pointing, trying to think of what could possibly be out here that would cause her to panic so much. This wasn't dingo territory, and I doubted she could see a snake as dark as it was. I couldn't see anything dangerous.

"Where? I don't see it," I whispered.

"R-r-right there! The big white thing."

I stared as hard as I could. My eyes were adjusted to the darkness, but I still couldn't make out whatever it was that had frightened the girl so badly. Was she hallucinating?

"Seriously, I don't see anything."

'Pinkie' looked over at me. "You don't? Did you bump your head when we landed in this place or something?" she asked as she walked over to where 'Fluttershy' had pointed.

"No Pinkie, it could be dangerous," 'Fluttershy' called quietly from my back. She resumed holding on with both arms, causing me to gasp for air.

"She means this!" 'Pinkie' said and pointed at something.

"My... car?" I managed to sputter before having to sit down. Once I did, the pressure on my throat relaxed enough for me to breathe again. "Are you serious? You're freaking out over the bloody car?"

"You know, I don't see any blood on it," 'Pinkie' said. "Are you seeing things, or are you just really gross and weird?"

"What? No, I don't mean it's literally bloody. It's just a figure of speech," I replied. I then pried 'Fluttershy's' arms from my throat and turned to face her. "You know, I thought you were the more normal one out of you both, but now I'm not so sure."

"Hey! Don't be mean to Fluttershy!" 'Pinkie' scolded, but 'Fluttershy' didn't seem to mind. Her expression had changed drastically.

"Did you say that creature was your pet? Oh, how wonderful! Do you like animals, too? I have the most wonderful bunny back home named Angel. Well, he does get cranky sometimes, but I can't hold that against him. Ooh, and there's song birds, and wallaroos, and crickets, and... "

"Hey."

"... and I can't forget the toucans. They're sooo cute! But anyway, I love to take care of them, and feed them, play games with them, ask them if they're feeling okay... "

"Hey!"

"... and sometimes, I sing them to sleep and they just look so precious and cute. Do you like to sing your car to sleep? Is it sleeping right now? Oh, please tell me all about it."

I stared at 'Fluttershy' for a few moments until her cheeks reddened and she looked down at the ground. I tried to keep my voice gentle. "A car is not an animal. It's a vehicle. You'll remember that tomorrow when whatever god-awful drugs you're on wear off. It's not going to hurt you and it only drinks petrol, or gasoline. Now, I'm going to go into my tent and get you two some of my spare clothes. You're going to stay out here and not do anything crazy for a few moments. Is that okay with you?"

"I'm not crazy, I just love animals," 'Fluttershy' pouted. I quickly zipped open the tent and went inside. I had a feeling that if I stayed outside much longer, I'd begin to feel guilty for explaining what a car was.

Inside the tent, I fumbled around in the dark until I found my battery-powered lantern, then flicked it on and was able to quickly locate two spare pairs of shorts and a couple t-shirts. I made a point of picking out shirts that did not have images of scary skulls or the like. The idea of providing some underwear very briefly passed through my mind, but I decided things were weird enough as they were. Shorts and shirts would be fine. Gathering up the clothes, I exited the tent and was pleasantly surprised to see that the girls hadn't destroyed anything while I was away.

I handed a set of clothes to each girl. "You can get dressed in the tent. I'll wait for you out here."

"Um... " 'Fluttershy' began.

"Oh, right." I unzipped the tent, then came back, picked her up, and carried her inside. 'Pinkie' followed right behind.

"I can help her get dressed," she beamed.

"Uh huh," I said. I shook my head as I exited the tent again. A few minutes later, 'Pinkie' opened the tent flap and beckoned for me to come get 'Fluttershy'. A short time later, we were all sitting outside on folding chairs around the lantern. I held out my arms. "Welcome to my humble camp. As promised, you can ask me your questions now."

'Pinkie' wasted no time. "Do you know where we are?"

"Burrinjuck. About midway between Canberra and Sydney, on the continent of Australia, on the planet Earth." I figured I may as well cover all the bases. It was somewhat amusing watching the girls try to comprehend everything.

"Wow, you must read lots of books to know all of that! Our friend Twilight likes to read books, too. She's super-duper smart! Anyway, how far from Ponyville is that?"

"Very," I stated.

"Is that like very very, or more like very very very?"

"It's as very as it gets."

"Wow, Discord sure wasn't fooling around this time, huh?" 'Pinkie' nudged 'Fluttershy' and giggled. "Since you seem to be super-duper smart like Twilight, can you tell us what Discord turned us all into?"

"Humans," I answered.

"Wow, you're good at this!" she beamed. "You did magic earlier - do you know any spells that can change us back into ponies?"

"No, but I'm sure there's something in your purse that might lead to an effect like that. Or worse," I muttered. "I'd stay away from that stuff if I were you, though."

'Pinkie' gave me a blank stare for a moment. It gave 'Fluttershy' a chance to ask a question of her own.

"Are there d-dragons in Burrinjuck?" she asked. Her eyes darted back and forth, and she was cringing for some reason.

"Nah, they're up in St. George," I replied and laughed.

"Can we never go there. Like, ever?" The girl was visibly shaking. Maybe the drugs were starting to wear off.

"I don't think you need to worry about that. If I'm lucky, you two will turn out to be from Canberra, and will be travelling in the opposite direction when you leave."

'Pinkie' asked another question next. "Is there anything to eat around here? Discord kind of caught us all right before lunch time. Which was probably his plan all along, the big meanie," she huffed. I thought I heard her mumble something else about there being no chocolate rain this time.

"Got the munchies, huh? Yeah, hold on. I'll get some snacks." I disappeared into the tent and came back out a few minutes later with a can of Pringles, a few peanut butter sandwiches, and three Cokes. I handed the food out and sat back down.

"Eww, what is this stuff?" 'Pinkie' asked. She had pulled the two slices of bread from her sandwich apart and was looking inside of it.

"Relax, it's just peanut butter," I reassured her. "It's not the cheap stuff either, It's Jif."

She put the sandwich back together and took a small bite, then her eyes lit up. "This is good!" she exclaimed, then proceeded to practically swallow the thing whole.

'Fluttershy' hadn't eaten anything yet. She kept moving her eyes from the food, to her hands, and back again. I rolled my eyes.

"The hoof thing again, right?" I asked.

She nodded.

"You know, you could both pretend to be Pinkie Pie for a while. Then you would suddenly know how to use hands, as if by magic!" I suggested with a grin.

"Oh, no. I could never be as Pinkie-like as Pinkie is. I know I'm not the bravest, or even the smartest pony, but I prefer to just be myself," 'Fluttershy' said with a small smile.

There quite literally was nothing that I could say to that. "Pinkie, can you please help feed her?" I asked. I didn't even have the heart to say the word Pinkie sarcastically.

"Sure!" she replied and bent over to assist her friend.

I observed the two while eating my sandwich. They gave the chips weird looks, but ate them without complaint. They seemed to enjoy the Cokes as well, though they both sputtered and spilled some on their first attempt at drinking them. It was getting late, and I was tired of all the horseplay, so to speak. A slow, evil grin spread across my face as an idea came to mind.

"Hey girls, it's getting really late. I'm pretty sleepy," I said, faking a yawn and stretching. "How about we get some sleep. I promise to answer any more questions you have tomorrow morning."

"Um, I don't know... " 'Fluttershy' began.

"Hell, I'll even help you get back to Ponyville!" I said with as much sincerity as I could muster.

"Pinkie promise?" 'Pinkie' asked, peering at me intently.

"Pinkie promise." I said confidently.

"Okay, deal! Is that okay with you, Fluttershy?" 'Pinkie' asked. Her friend nodded in approval.

We finished our meal and I helped 'Fluttershy' into my tent. I led them to my air mattress, which was a double, and even tucked the girls in. They wouldn't remember anything in the morning, anyway. I bid them each a good night, then exited the tent and began searching for a decent spot to lie down. There were none, but I didn't mind. One night outside on the hard ground with only a blanket would be a small price to pay to be rid of the two weird girls in the tent. They were good at mimicking their favorite ponies. Really good. It was too bad they were druggies, or we may have gotten along quite well. It didn't matter. Tomorrow I'd only have to deal with them long enough to get them back to their own camp. I closed my eyes and, certain that everything was settled, I fell asleep.

You Broke Your Promise? I'll Break Your Everything!

You Broke Your Promise? I'll Break Your Everything!
April 14th 2012

The act of rolling over onto a sharp rock woke me up from what had been a restless slumber. I had woken up several times during the night, unable to get comfortable or to stop thinking about my strange new companions. Their antics baffled me; even drugs couldn't mess anyone up that badly, could they? It was difficult to admit, but the two girls seemed perfectly normal despite all the pony nonsense. Their eyes hadn't been bloodshot, I hadn't noticed any shaky hands, and their reflexes and concentration seemed just fine. It hadn't helped that dreams of ponies had filled my head during the times that I was able to manage some sleep.

I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. Today I would get the two girls back to their own camp and get back to enjoying my trip. There were fish to be caught, trails to explore, and relaxation to experience. I wouldn't be able to do any of that until they were gone. I just hoped they didn't get startled once they woke up; I didn't want to have to explain how they ended up in my tent if they didn't remember anything from the previous night. My attention snapped back to the present as I heard a kind of frantic scrabbling noise at the entrance to my tent. It was coming from inside.

"Oh where is it, where is it?" came a familiar voice from inside. "Let me out, gotta go now! Can't... hold it... much longer!"

I stood up and brushed some leaves and twigs from my clothing, then walked over to the tent entrance.

"Everything okay in there? Do you remember what happened last night?" I asked hesitantly.

"Doug, is that you? Quick, get me out of here! I need to use the little filly's room right now!" came the voice of 'Pinkie'.

That badly? I hadn't smelled alcohol on either of the girls. The way she was acting, it must have been an emergency. I found the zipper and unzipped the tent flap for her, and she immediately burst through the opening, hopping around with her legs squeezed tightly together. I began to lead her towards a restroom facility that was nearby.

"Crikey, you going to make it, mate?" I asked with some concern. She was wearing my favorite shorts, after all. "Maybe you should have gone before we went to bed last night."

'Pinkie' gave me a look of desperation. "I was fine last night! But when I woke up, I decided to try another one of those really sweet drinks you gave me with dinner. Only, I couldn't help myself and I may have gone a little overboard and totally drunk all of the ones that were left. Please don't be angry!"

I stared at her, dumbfounded. "That's not even physically possible! There were at least eighteen Cokes left! How many did you really drink?"

"Seventeen."

"What?"

"Fluttershy had one, too," she revealed. I made a mental note to check the cooler later.

We arrived at the building. 'Pinkie' rushed inside the women's restroom while I headed for the men's. I stood before a urinal and unzipped my pants. A sudden thought came to mind as I was relieving myself. 'Pinkie' had said filly's room and Fluttershy. I wasn't aware of any drugs that could mess someone up for eight to ten hours, or however long it had been. I finished up and walked over to the sink to wash my hands, then looked in the mirror. My hair was sticking out in all directions, and there was an errant leaf stuck in my beard. I plucked it out of my beard and flicked it into the yellow rubbish bin near the front entrance, realizing that I needed a shower.

I walked back outside and waited by the women's entrance. A few moments later, 'Pinkie' emerged looking relieved. She offered me an embarrassed grin.

"Look, Pinkie," I began. "I need to have a shower, but I want to make sure you're, ah, occupied while I'm gone. I have a few coins you can use if you want a shower, too." I took some coins from my wallet and offered them to her.

She looked at the coins, took them, then glanced up at me with a curious expression. "This place is weird. You have to pay every time you want a shower?"

"You do when you're out here. Anyway, I'm going to go grab some towels and check on, uh, Fluttershy. Are you going to be okay waiting here for a minute?" I asked.

"Yes, sir!" she saluted happily.

I returned the salute just to be nice, then turned around and jogged back to my camp site. I was dismayed to find that the tent flap was still open. Entering the tent, I saw exactly what I was afraid of seeing - the tent was full of bugs.

'Fluttershy' was awake and watching them crawl and fly around.

"Sorry dear, I'll take care of them in a minute. Are you feeling better today?" I asked as I searched for the bug spray.

"Oh yes, thank you. It was so nice hearing all the little critters outside last night. I still don't think I can walk though."

Great, I thought. "Hold your breath for a second while I deal with these," I advised once I had found the spray. I gave it a good shake, then let the little bastards have it. I was careful not to use too much spray this time, as I did not want to have to carry 'Fluttershy' out of the tent just yet. I looked her way just as I was finishing off the last of the bugs.

Uh oh.

'Fluttershy' had both her hands over her mouth, but they weren't there to protect from the bug spray. She stared up at me with wide eyes that were brimming with tears. I looked from her to the can of bug spray still gripped in my right hand, then down to the tent floor that was covered with dead insects. My eyes went back to hers.

"Oh... oh no. You're like one of them PETA members or something, aren't you? That explains why you like Fluttershy so much. Oh mate, I'm so sorry." I realized I was hiding the can of spray behind my back.

"How... could you?" she said through tears.

I made a show of looking at the spray can. "Uh... oh no! I can't believe what I've just done," I said with as straight a face as possible. "I meant to spray them with, uh, love spray so they could feel lots of love! What a tragedy, I feel so awful!" I curled up into a ball and pretended to cry.

'Fluttershy' peered at me. "Really? Oh, how awful! There, there - you just take all the time you need. I can't blame you if it was just an accident. But," she sighed, "those poor, cute little bugs."

"It's such a tragedy. I think the only thing that can make me feel better is a shower." I stood up and grabbed a few towels. "Do you want one, too?"

"I... guess," she whispered. The way her eyes still glistened and her lower lip quivered made me feel awful.

I knelt down and lifted her up into my arms, then exited the tent. I made a mental note to clean out the bug corpses before I let her back inside. We soon arrived back at the restroom facility, but 'Pinkie' was nowhere to be seen. Nearing the women's entrance, I heard the sound of a water running. 'Pinkie' had already begun her shower.

"Pinkie?" I shouted into the room.

"Yeah?" came the reply.

"I have Fluttershy, and I'm bringing her inside. Just stay inside the shower and keep the door closed, okay?"

'Fluttershy' gasped. "Y-you can't go inside the filly's room!"

"It's fine. I won't be able to see Pinkie, and how else do you expect to get inside to take a shower? Besides, I've already seen more than enough of both of you."

"Oh no, it's not that. It's just... it's the filly's room!"

I rolled my eyes and walked inside, careful not to bump 'Fluttershy's' head or legs on anything. 'Pinkie' was safely hidden behind a shower door, which I made my way towards.

"Hey Pinkie, can you take Fluttershy in there with you?" I asked. "She still can't stand up and, uh, I think it would be best if you helped her bathe."

"Alrighty!" came the response as the shower door opened up. 'Pinkie', her wet hair hanging down her back, stood waiting for 'Fluttershy' to join her.

"Oy! I told you about that! Close the door already!" I exclaimed. The girl had no shame.

"But how is Fluttershy going to get in here if the door isn't opened? You're not making much sense!" Pinkie complained.

"Okay, fine. I'll just close my eyes," I said as I set 'Fluttershy' down and helped to steady her. "Can you stand well enough so that I may leave?"

"I think so, only... "

"What?"

"Take her clothes off, silly!" 'Pinkie' shouted from within the shower. "She can't use her hands properly, yet!"

"I am not stripping Fluttershy!" I shouted. "That's just wrong on so many levels! Imagine if you two were telling the truth about all this pony stuff. That's just... no. Not happening! You two sort it out, I'm going to take my own shower." With that, I hastily exited the women's restroom and ran towards the men's.

A short time later, I emerged from the restroom clean and groomed. The girls were waiting for me, and I was mildly shocked to see that they were both clean and properly dressed - if wearing oversized men's clothing could be considered proper. 'Fluttershy' was standing as well, though she was supported by her friend. 'Pinkie' leaned over to me an put a hand on my shoulder.

"Fluttershy told me about the spray accident. That must have been terribly, horribly awful!" she said.

"Indeed, I shall bear the burden of this tragedy until the end of my days," I said sagely. "Now then, shall we get you two ladies back to your camp?" I knew they were still acting strange this morning, but I was hoping against hope that they wouldn't say...

"We don't have a camp, silly. We told you that last night!" 'Pinkie' said. She was looking at me as if I were crazy again.

I sighed. "Okay then. Let's get you girls to my car. I'll take you to the ranger's office - they'll know where you've set up camp. I won't tell them how I found you, but I wouldn't mention the pony stuff if I were you. You can give me my clothes back after you find your camp and get settled. Do you still need help walking, Fluttershy?"

The two girls looked at each other, then back to me. "Who said anything about a ranger's office? Onward to Ponyville, captain!" 'Pinkie' grinned. 'Fluttershy' nodded and smiled.

"Come on, girls!" I pleaded. "Enough with the whole Ponyville thing. It was kind of cute for a while, but it's getting old now. Just come with me to see the rangers and let's get this over with." I turned to head back to my tent.

"But... you Pinkie Promised! "

"No buts, Pinkie! We can't go to Ponyville, now come on." I began walking towards the tent when I heard a growl from behind me. I turned to look back and was stopped dead in my tracks. 'Pinkie' had balled her hand up into a fist and held it before her. Her shoulders heaved with each heavy breath she took as she stared at the ground. Suddenly, she raised her eyes to stare at me.

Oh shit.

"You broke a Pinkie Promise?" she growled at me as her eyes, now golden, bore into the depths of my soul. Her voice had taken on a gravelly kind of tone, and I noticed what seemed to be a small amount of smoke or steam emerging from her ears. "Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise!" A light of some kind began to glow around her, like a sort of aura of destruction, as she spoke the last line.

Bugger this!

I turned around and ran as fast as my legs could take me. Although I was thirty two years old, I was in great physical shape. But at that moment, it didn't matter that I was physically stronger than both girls combined - 'Pinkie' was either the real thing, or she was possessed by a demon. Either way, I was going to die if I couldn't escape. My long legs helped me to cover the distance back to the tent within seconds, but I didn't stop there. I continued past the tent and up onto the fishing trail.

"You can never escape!" came a wail from behind me.

I hauled ass up the trail, hurdling small bushes and shrubs that were in the way. When I felt I was a good distance ahead, I risked a look back. Pinkie was not far behind and running just as fast, if not faster, than I was. Bloody oath, she's fanging it! I thought. I turned back to the task at hand, barely avoiding a low-hanging branch. The path was narrow, and gradually ascended the side of a small cliff. There was a large drop-off immediately to the right of the trail that led down to the lake below.

Could that be the real Pinkie Pie? I pondered as I ran for my life. What do you mean, the 'real Pinkie Pie'? She's not real ya wanker! I jumped and managed to clear a fallen tree in a single bound. Explain that to the angry girl behind you who's about to pave this trail with your blood! The trail began to descend slightly as it curved around the side of the cliff. I was beginning to feel a little winded. Maybe she's tired by now. I'm definitely in better shape than she is. I glanced behind me again.

She was gone.

I slowed myself down to a slow walk, then finally stopped. Keeping my back straight to provide maximum oxygen, I breathed deeply several times in order to catch my breath. My eyes scanned the surrounding forest, but Pinkie was nowhere to be found. I was breathing a sigh of relief when a kookaburra called out from somewhere nearby and nearly caused me to fall off the trail and into the lake below. Closing my eyes, I sat down and allowed a few moments for my heart to slow down to a more regular pace.

What the bloody hell was that all about? I thought. What she did was not physically possible. Eyes don't just randomly change color like that, and what was with her voice and that weird aura? A sudden thought came to mind. Maybe they drugged me as I slept! That was the only rational explanation. I stood up and turned around to head back to camp and confront the girls.

"I have you now!" Pinkie growled from above.

I looked up in time to see her leap from an overhead branch in my direction, which caused me to take an involuntary step backwards. I lost my balance as my foot connected with nothing but air, and I fell off the trail. My scream was cut off as I bounced off a rock and tumbled into the lake below.

I woke up and stretched, wincing when I moved my back in a certain way. I must have slept in a bad position. The sun's rays shone through my tent windows, warming my body up from the chilly April air. It would be a good day for fishing. I rolled out from under my blankets and stood up, stretching again for good measure. I felt good. It was so peaceful and quiet out here during this time of the year, a great opportunity to get away from civilization and rough it for a little bit. If you could consider having kitchen and toilet facilities nearby as roughing it.

Brisk weather met me as I climbed outside of my tent. It was a fantastic feeling and really made me excited about what the day had in store for me. I unlocked the car, grabbed my fishing gear, and headed towards the old trail with a smile on my face.

The smiled disappeared as the ground began to shake violently. Before I knew what was happening, the ground had split open beneath me and I fell, screaming, down what seemed to be an endless pit of darkness. I eventually landed not with a splat, but with a painful bounce at the bottom. The darkness was suddenly illuminated with blazing columns of fire that shot up into the air all around me. From within these columns emerged a terrifying sight - ponies.

"Welcome to Pony Hell, brony!" Twilight Sparkle said with a sneer. "Population: you!"

"Hey, who wants to take him to the rainbow factory?" Rainbow Dash asked with a sadistic grin. "I want to see a peach-colored rainbow!"

"Forget all of that, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie squealed. "Who's hungry for some cupcakes?"

I tried to get away, but my legs wouldn't move. I could only watch helplessly as the ponies closed in on me slowly.

I woke with a start. I was laying on an air mattress inside my tent. Blankets had been wrapped around me, and my clothes - all of them - had been removed. My hair seemed to be a bit damp as well, but I couldn't remember how it got that way. I looked around and saw the girl who called herself Fluttershy sitting nearby. She was studying her hands and slowly moving one finger at a time, in much the same way as a baby would. Memories flooded back into my mind.

"You really are Fluttershy, aren't you? The real Fluttershy," I asked the girl.

She jumped slightly when I spoke and hid her hands behind her back. She looked at me, closed her eyes, and nodded while smiling.

"I can't explain it any other way. I clearly saw that girl's - Pinkie's, eyes change color. The voice, the aura, climbing that tree somehow. I feel fine, too. It can't be drugs and... oh Christ, I made Fluttershy cry," I said with dismay. "I'm a terrible human being."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," she said soothingly. "You seem to be make a wonderful human. You can run almost as well as Pinkie! I just can't seem to get the hang of it."

"But I made you cry. I made Fluttershy cry," I groaned.

"It's okay. It was just an accident, I understand. I'm all better now," she reassured me with another smile.

I sat bolt upright, causing my back to flare in pain. "Bloody hell, I broke a Pinkie Promise. A real one!"

"You most certainly did!" Pinkie Pie stated as she entered the tent. I was relieved to see her eyes back to normal, but she still seemed angry. "You'd better have a good excuse, mister!"

"I'm sorry!" I blurted. "I didn't really think it was you, Pinkie. I promise, I thought you were just some Sheila with a problem! I would never break a real Pinkie Promise on purpose."

She looked me up and down for a moment, then crossed her arms. "Well, you did apologize, so I guess you're off the hook this time. But I warn you, if you ever try to break another Pinkie Promise, you will be paying for it - forever!"

Swallowing hard, I nodded my understanding, then looked up at Pinkie. "How did I get back here?" I asked. "I remember falling into the lake."

"I carried you back," Pinkie explained.

"But I weigh a hundred and eighty pounds, how is that even possible?"

Pinkie just stared at me and shrugged.

Another headache was beginning to form, and it was a big one. "Did you, uh, take my clothes off?"

"Nah, that was Fluttershy."

I swung my head to face Fluttershy, who blushed and looked down at the floor of the tent. "They were wet. I didn't want you to catch a cold."

I shook my head in wonder. "Well... thanks. That was smart and kind of you," I observed. She smiled again at my compliment. I looked at both of the girls. "You really are Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Like, this isn't a dream or some weird drug messing with me, right?"

The girls nodded again.

"Get me my underwear and shorts, please," I requested.

Fluttershy reached over and managed to pick up my clothes, and handed them to me. I quickly pulled them on underneath the covers. Once I was respectable, I spoke again.

"Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy in my tent. Freaking Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy!" I grinned as I got up from the air mattress, slowly walked over to Pinkie, and wrapped my arms around her in a powerful hug. "You two are my new best friends!" I said as I walked over to Fluttershy and squeezed her as well. "I want to hear all about how Equestria really is. Seriously, I'll stay up all night if you want."

Pinkie held up a hand. "Wait a minute. We thought you were a stallion that got caught in Discord's magical pink wave thingy. If you're not from Equestria, then where are you from and how did you end up here, too?"

My grin faded. It looked like I had some explaining to do, and it wasn't going to be easy. "Uh, well. It's like this... " I began. That night we did stay up talking, but it wasn't as I had hoped. Throughout the night, there were questions I was unsure as to whether I should answer. There was confusion as to why some things were the way they were. And there were tears shed as the two former ponies slowly began to realize that there was a good chance they would never see their friends again.

The Quest for Clothing

The Quest For Clothing
April 15th 2012

The sun slowly began to creep its way up into the sky as kookaburras cackled gleefully from the safety of the nearby trees. In a far corner of the tent, the two former ponies dozed peacefully on an air mattress. I had pulled a blanket over them after they had finally cried themselves to sleep, and now sat watching them, pondering what to do. Last night had provided a whirlwind of emotions as the girls discovered the truth of their situation. They were not in Equestria, and none of us had any idea how to return them home. They had fully explained how they had been blind-sided by Discord and had been forced to face him without the Elements of Harmony. A strange reaction had occurred when Princess Luna and Discord had unleashed spells at one another simultaneously, resulting in an expanding ring of pink, chaotic energy which had engulfed the ponies who had been present in the battle. Neither of them knew for certain whether their friends had suffered a similar fate - chaos magic was unpredictable, so there were no guarantees.

Their human bodies were assumed to be some kind of side-effect of the chaos magic. Pinkie had mentioned that Discord seemed to be caught off-guard by the reaction of the two spells colliding as well, and it was quite likely that even he was unprepared for what had happened. The only way to get the girls back into their pony bodies seemed to be to hunt Discord down, and the odds of that happening were phenomenally against us. We couldn't be certain that he was even on this planet, and apparently Earth is much larger than Equestria, as I had a difficult time explaining that we could not simply leave and go find him. It was very likely that the two would be stuck in their new bodies for a very long time. Because of this, I had tried to help Fluttershy get used to walking, but her heart wasn't in it. I could scarcely blame her, so I didn't push it.

The first logical order of business seemed to be getting these girls some proper clothing. It may be unimportant compared to trying to find Discord, getting their bodies back to normal, or finding a way to get them back to Equestria, but the girls would attract attention if they continued to wear my oversized clothes, and I could tell they were both uncomfortable trying to move around while wearing them. There was also the fact that I had only brought so many changes of clothing with me on my trip, and with no laundry facilities present and not nearly enough coins to wash them in the shower, it wouldn't be long before we grew tired of wearing smelly shirts and shorts.

I was trying to sort out whether to wake the girls up for breakfast or to leave them be just as Fluttershy began to stir. She stretched her arms over her head, gave a little yawn, then flinched and hid under the covers as she noticed me watching. The covers slowly lowered until her eyes were uncovered, and she gave a small sigh of relief when she recognized me.

"Oh, sorry. You startled me," she whispered from beneath the blanket. I chuckled internally at the idea that someone sitting perfectly still could startle anyone. Considering who she was though, I was not surprised.

"I was just wondering if I should wake you two up," I said quietly so as not to wake Pinkie. "I don't have much for breakfast other than some Nutri-Grain. No milk, though. I planned on buying some the other day, but then I ran across you two and haven't had a chance to get to a store." Fluttershy gave me a confused look. "Oh, right. Nutri-Grain is good. It's pretty sweet, but you seemed to like Coke, so you'll probably like this as well. It's either that or another peanut butter sandwich, but those get old pretty quickly if it's all you eat."

"Okay, if you say so," came the quiet reply.

There was a sudden movement of the covers as Pinkie Pie sat bolt upright with wide eyes. "Did somepony say Coke? Did you go out and buy more? Can I have some, I totally promise not to drink it all this time. I Pinkie Swear it, and unlike some of us here I always keep my Pinkie Promises!"

My face turned slightly red. She wasn't going to let me forget about breaking a Pinkie Promise, that much was clear. I cleared my throat. "No, I haven't bought any more Coke. There's another twenty-four pack in the boot of the car. We were just discussing breakfast."

"The what of the car? I didn't see any boots, and it clearly doesn't have any feet. I mean, duh! Those are wheels, silly!" The look she gave me suggested that I may not be in my right mind.

"No mate, I mean the uh, trunk of the car. No? There's a storage compartment at the back of the car there... yes now you get it," I said with a smile as the look on her face went from confused to enlightened.

"Oh, alrighty then! We just call them storage compartments on the carriages back home. I think that makes much more sense than saying boot or trunk. I mean, boots go on your feet of course, and a car clearly isn't the same thing as an elephant. That would just be crazy! Could you imagine trying to stuff an elephant full of Coke?" She broke down in a fit of giggles, kicking her feet under the blankets as she did so.

"So girls," I said, changing the subject and standing up. "We can have a bit of cereal for breakfast, then we need to get you two into some proper clothes. Like I explained last night, running around without wearing anything is a good way to get yourself arrested. You can't wear my stuff forever, so I'll take you both out in the car and drive into town. Hopefully I can find a shop that isn't too busy and we can get you some outfits."

The girls glanced at each other with a hint of excitement.

"Oh I do like to wear a pretty dress now and then," Fluttershy beamed.

"And I love to party!" Pinkie shouted. "Oh, and I like pretty dresses too."

With that settled, I set about getting breakfast prepared. It was a simple task - I grabbed the box of Nutri-Grain and poured some into the only bowl I had brought on the trip. The three of us sat around the bowl and ate the pieces of cereal as if they were candy, with Fluttershy occasionally dropping hers. She was getting better at using her hands, but she wasn't quite there yet. Once we had finished our meagre breakfast, Pinkie and I decided we should get Fluttershy to become at least somewhat proficient at walking before we took her into town.

"Oh, I don't know about this," she muttered after we revealed our plans to her.

"Come on Fluttershy! It'll be like a game, remember?" Pinkie said encouragingly. "We won't let you fall, right Douglas?"

I grimaced at the sound of my full name. It had been a mistake to show Pinkie my driver's license last night. "No, we won't let Fluttershy fall. Don't call me Douglas, either."

"Okie dokie then, Dougie," she said with a giggle. I ignored her.

Fluttershy finally relented after some more encouragement and, after nearly an hour spent trying to get her to stand by herself, she eventually managed to take her first, shaky step as a human just outside of the tent. It was followed by another, and then another. Before long, and with plenty of help, she was able to walk slowly.

"Hey, you're getting the hang of it!" I exclaimed. "Once you get your balance figured out, it's not hard. You'll be walking at a decent pace in no time."

Fluttershy smiled bashfully at the praise. After a bit more practice, we decided she was ready enough to be seen in public without embarrassing herself. I gave her a small pat on the shoulder, and Pinkie squeezed her in a big hug.

"Congratulations, I just knew you could do it!" Pinkie shouted.

"Thank you. I feel so independent!" Fluttershy said with a grin.

I spent the next fifteen minutes securing as much of my gear as possible. It would likely be safe enough since nobody else was camping anywhere nearby but, as with my car, I felt more secure if I kept my possessions in the tent and out of sight.

"Well then, let's get to the car and hop inside so we can get this shopping trip started," I said as I finished zipping the tent back up.

"Wait, we have to get inside the car?" Fluttershy said with wide eyes.

"Of course!" I replied. "That's how we get around. Just think of it as a fast carriage. Come on now, don't be shy... er... just come along, please."

"Come on, this is gonna be fun!" Pinkie exclaimed as she ran towards the car. She got in the front passenger's seat. Fluttershy reluctantly followed, hiding behind my back as I made my way towards the car. After getting her inside the car and overcoming some initial confusion as to how to put on a seatbelt and why they were necessary, I finally got her settled, jumped into the driver's seat, got strapped in and was ready to go. I put the key in the ignition and, after warning Fluttershy that a strange sound was about to occur, turned the key.

She squeaked in fear anyway.

The girls both looked out the windows curiously as I pulled the car forward and onto the dirt road that led out of the camping area. It was time to find them some proper clothes.

"Wow, this is kind of like the Friendship Express, except that it's shorter and doesn't run on tracks. Oh, and you can't really stand up, and there's no food service. I'm pretty sure it doesn't run off of steam either. In fact, it's nothing at all like the Friendship Express! Isn't that amazing, Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked as she bounced up and down in the seat beside me.

Fluttershy was too busy staring out her window to notice. "W-we're really close to the edge of the road. Can you slow down? Oh! Be careful of those pebbles. What if a bunny crosses the road? We'd never be able to stop in time! Oh dear, I can't look," she said, and then covered her eyes with her hands.

"Don't worry lass, I've been driving for over a decade," I stated. "It's the other drivers we have to watch out for. Bloody maniacs, all of them! You have to run them off the road before they do the same to you."

Pinkie looked in the back seat behind her. "I don't think that calmed her down much, captain!" she remarked.

I adjusted the rear-view mirror and had a look. Fluttershy had sunk down in her seat and was quivering with fear. It was almost comical how similar she was to her cartoon self. Then again, they were one and the same. I slowed back down to the speed-limit, allowing the cars behind us to catch up and overtake me. They may be driving faster than me, but I had Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy in my car. I was superior - I had won the road war by default.

"I don't suppose you have anything like car radios in Equestria?" I asked. "It's a music player to listen to while we drive. Here, I'll turn it on. A little music might be just what Fluttershy needs to relax." I thumbed the radio controls that were built-in to the steering wheel and music began to play. I heard the familiar voice of Trent Reznor.

I wanna f...

I changed the channel just in time.

"Aww, I wanted to hear what that guy wanted to do!" Pinkie complained as she crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip. She perked back up again when the next song began to play.

"Ah, here we go. Three Doors Down. I love this song," I said and turned the volume up a bit.

"Three doors down? What's that supposed to mean? He isn't singing about doors, he's singing about a baby. But I don't get it, why a baby?" Pinkie asked.

"No, no. Three Doors Down is the name of the band. The song is called Here Without You, and it's about a guy who is left alone when his girlfriend dies," I explained. "He calls his girl his baby because that's just another word used to describe a loved one like 'darling' or 'sweetie'. Normally the word 'baby' refers to a human version of what you'd call a foal."

"Oh, I get it now. But why would anypony want to call their special somepony a foal? That'd be so silly. Oh hey, foal. I love you so much! Mwah mwah mwah!" Pinkie broke down into a fit of giggles.

"That's... so sad. Why do humans write songs about death or dying? Singing is supposed to make others happy." Fluttershy seemed to be on the verge of tears again when I glanced in the rear-view mirror.

Shit, don't make her cry again, I thought.

"We're just stupid that way. Here, have some happy music!" I said with a false grin as I frantically changed the station. Heavy metal, rap; where was a decent, happy song? I was about to give up when Fluttershy stopped me.

"Ooh, stop on this one. I don't understand what she's saying, but it sounds... nice."

"Uh, you sure mate? I could just change the channel here and... "

"No, keep it here please. This is nice!"

I sighed and left the song, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, to play. At least it was almost finished.

Fluttershy was smiling and nodding her head back and forth by the time we arrived in the town of Yass.

I drove slowly down Yass Valley Way, searching for some kind of clothing store. The town was small enough, so I didn't think it would take long to locate one. I began muttering the names on the signs we passed as we travelled along.

"A.M. Steel... don't need steel. Franklins, Video Ezy... don't need movies. Sundowner - nope, don't need a hotel. Where the hell are the clothing stores?" I accelerated as we passed the first group of buildings with no luck.

"Look at all those buildings, this place is bigger than Ponyville!" Pinkie observed.

"Yass is small though. Just wait until you see Sydney," I replied. "Alright, here's some more stores. No, never mind. That's just a Motor Inn... "

Suddenly, Pinkie began shouting and bouncing excitedly. She pounded on her side window and pointed. "Look, look! Is that a Coke sign? No, it's two Coke signs! They must have Coke there! Can we stop, please? We have to stop!"

"Hey, hey! Settle down, we still have the case of Coke in the boot, er, storage compartment. We don't need any more right now. We need clothes." I turned my attention back to the road. Pinkie crossed her arms and glared ahead for a few moments, but was soon back in her own little world and humming softly to herself.

We finally arrived in a more commercialized area of town, with lots of little shops lining both sides of the road. I continued to mutter names as we passed by.

"B & G Hardware... The Sheep's Back, whatever that is... Country Kitchen... come on, where do people buy clothing in this place? Retravision... Subway... oh here we go. Target."

"Target?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah. It's not exactly the best place for clothes, but it'll do for now. Let's go see what they have."

I managed to find an empty parking spot right in front of the store. I parked the car and unbuckled my seatbelt, then helped Fluttershy out of hers. Pinkie seemed to have no problems with working her seatbelt or knowing how to open the car doors. I wondered how much Pinkie would just happen to understand about life on Earth. Fourth wall? I considered it obliterated.

Once we were all out of the car, we walked up to the front door of the store and entered. It was one of the smaller Target stores, but the majority of the space inside was taken up by women's clothing. I turned to the girls.

"Well, let me know if there's anything you like," I said. "I guess we don't know what sizes you take, so we'll have to guess for now. I'd say you're probably a size ten, Fluttershy. Pinkie, you're probably a twelve. That is, unless they have American imports, which I doubt. Then you'd be sizes six and eight, respectively."

"Rarity usually just measures us... " Fluttershy said.

"We have stores that do that too, but I doubt we'll find one in Yass. You just get to pick and choose from whatever they have out here. Go find something and try it on, they have changing rooms with mirrors in them," I explained.

The girls spent some time browsing through shirts, blouses, and dresses. It turned out that I was spot-on with my guesses at their sizes. Fluttershy had picked out a nice-looking yellow dress with green lining that hung to her knees, as well as a few shirts and skirts. Pinkie chose a pink dress, a few pairs of pants, and some shirts that could only be described as loud. I realized that they would need underwear too, and grudgingly picked out some panties and bras in what I assumed to be their sizes. Lastly, we picked up a few cheap pairs of shoes and a handbag for each of them.

One of the sales associates said it would be fine for the girls to wear some of the clothes out of the store, so long as we gave her the price tags to scan through. She was leading us towards the front registers when I suddenly stopped and held the girls back. The sales lady turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything alright, sir?" she asked.

"Uh, yes. Just... can we go around this way? I need to check something over there," I said, pointing towards some men's clothing.

The sales lady chuckled. "Sure, no worries."

I gently pushed Pinkie and Fluttershy towards the sales lady. "Just follow her, I'll be right there," I said.

The girls gave me some odd looks, but left and followed the lady without question. I had to steady myself on a nearby clothes rack to calm my fiercely beating heart. I looked back in the direction where we had originally been heading.

Sitting in a nice display on one of the toy department's end-caps was row upon row of My Little Pony toys. I could see a few plastic Pinkie Pies and Fluttershys, as well as some other ponies. Shaking my head at what had nearly become a disaster, I hurried to catch back up to the girls and pay for our purchases.

Truths and Consequences; Angels and Demons

Truths and Consequences; Angels and Demons
April 15th 2012

Pinkie Pie was looking into the shopping bag with a big grin as we walked to the car. She and Fluttershy had both spent much of the time in the checkout thanking me for the clothes over and over again. This had led to the young female cashier giggling and asking me if my daughters were always this excited to go clothes shopping. I'm not even old enough to have daughters who are in their late teens, but I supposed that maybe my beard made me look older. I had nodded politely and quickly escorted the girls out of the store before they tried to tell anyone where they really came from.

"You're almost as generous as our friend Rarity is, and she's like, stupendously generous," Pinkie commented. Her face was nearly inside the bag as we reached the car. "I bet if you and Rarity were to team up, nopony would ever have to buy clothes. Not that we have to buy clothes, because we don't usually wear them. But if everypony were here on Earth, and you and Rarity teamed up, then everypony would be just fine. Except for the whole 'not being in Equestria' thing, since I'm sure at least some of them would get homesick. I know I miss being there, but being here is kind of fun too. It's just so confusing! But anyway, thanks for the clothes!"

"You're welcome, but I doubt I'm as generous as Rarity," I said as I helped Fluttershy get buckled in again, then hopped into the driver's seat and shut my door.

"What are you talking about?" Pinkie asked. "You've given us food and that fantastically amazing Coke stuff, bought us clothing, given us shelter and information about your world, you helped Fluttershy learn how to walk like a human, and you were even going to give us first aid until you saw that we were just fine and dandy. All of that without asking for anything in return? You're totally generous, so don't you go and try to pretend otherwise, Dougie!" She poked her finger at me accusingly, and I was left to wonder at how she knew that particular gesture.

I paused for a moment before starting the car's engine. "Yeah, I suppose I've been a little generous. But I'm nowhere near the level Rarity is at," I replied. Pinkie was giving me a curious look, so I quickly added "I guess, anyway. Based on what you've told me about her." It was time to change the subject. I turned on the radio and smiled when I found Metallica's Nothing Else Matters playing. "Well, I suppose from here we can do just about anything. It's still pretty early. We can have a look at a few more shops while we're out here, or maybe stop at a park if there's one nearby. Maybe go have a bite to eat, are either of you hungry yet?" I asked.

The girls perked up a bit at the thought of food. "Yes, please!" they said in unison. It was somewhat cute and creepy at the same time.

"Right then. Okay, let's see what Yass has to offer," I said. I took a left turn and began to drive slowly around town in search of some place decent to eat at.

"I sure could use a daisy sandwich," Fluttershy commented. "Ooh, I wonder if there's any place that serves tulip soup!"

"Um, I don't think there's any place that serves up that kind of stuff," I replied. I had driven around the block and found nothing interesting, so I drove back to where we started. "Well, there's a Subway right here. They sell veggie subs, which are basically long sandwiches, and you can get whatever you want on them. You even get to choose your own bread. Shall we stop here?"

The girls agreed and I pulled the car into an empty parking spot near the entrance, turned off the radio, and parked. I told the girls not to get out of the car yet, and was met with looks of confusion.

"What's up, captain?" Pinkie asked. "We're hungry - check! We have a restaurant - check! They serve food - check! It all adds up, so what's missing?"

Reminding myself that the two needed to know this, I decided that direct honesty was the way to go. "Girls, you need to know something before we go in there to eat. I don't know any easy way to tell you this, and I really hope you don't think less of me or other humans because of it, but most of us eat meat."

Up until that point in my life, I had been unaware that it was actually possible to hear silence. Fluttershy sat motionless in the back seat, staring straight ahead. Pinkie was frozen, her seatbelt halfway off. Her nose was wrinkled and her mouth had twisted in what looked like a human version of what was known as a pony scrunch face. Nobody moved for several long moments.

"We don't eat ponies?" I asked, though I had meant it as a statement. The girls both continued to stare, and I suddenly became aware of how I was sweating despite the cold weather. I tried again. "Uh, look. I know animals in Equestria are sentient for the most part, but here on Earth it's a whole different story. It's not like I would ever eat anything that could tell me not to. It's just the way it is. Fluttershy, I'm sure you have, or had, carnivorous animals in your care. You have to feed them fish, for example. You understand, right?" I looked at Fluttershy who slowly nodded, though her eyes remained unfocused. I looked back to Pinkie.

Pinkie's eyes were narrowing, and I had a feeling that I had just made a terrible mistake. Her brow lowered into a frown. I tried to think of some way to make being omnivorous seem like a great thing.

"Come on!" I pleaded. "There are bears in Equestria, I'm sure they eat meat. Otters, too!"

"You're right," Pinkie replied slowly. Dangerously. "There are bears in Equestria. Otters too. Funny that you mention it."

Uh oh.

Pinkie continued. "So, do you have any more information about our world that you couldn't possibly know unless you were from Equestria... or are a spy! Come on, spill it! Who are you really, are you with the P.I.A.?" She was once again pointing an accusing finger at me.

I began to panic. "Wait, no! I'm not a spy, and I'm not with the... P.I.A... Pony Intelligence Agency?"

"Aha!" Pinkie yelled triumphantly. "You do work for them, or at least know of their existence. There's no way you could have figured out what those letters stand for unless you're from Equestria! Now why are you spying on us, does this have anything to do with the cupcake incident?"

"No! Wait... C-cupcake incident? That was real?" I stammered. "Bloody hell!"

"Never mind, there was no cupcake incident. I was just testing you, and you may have passed this test, but I will find out who you really are and what you're up to!" Pinkie glared at me. A quick glance at the back seat showed a cowering Fluttershy who seemed to be trying to hide, though she was still stuck in her seatbelt.

I wasn't sure what to do, so I just said what immediately came to mind. "Nothing you just said makes any sense."

Pinkie's eyes widened in surprise, her mouth agape. She recovered after a moment. "Okay smarty-pants, you passed my second test too, so I guess you get a chance to explain yourself. I'm warning you though, I won't go easy on you like I did with your broken Pinkie Promise, so this had better be good!"

Easy on me? She had chased me through the woods and pounced on me from a tree, sending me tumbling into the lake below. I didn't want to find out what happened when she was hard on someone. I quickly evaluated my options and realized that none of them were ideal, but I had to do something. Hoping I made the right choice, I came to a decision.

"Okay, I'll explain everything. But there are some things I need to show you, first." The girls hesitated, but eventually agreed. I told them what our destination was and we stepped out of car, making our way across the street and back towards the shop we had left less than half an hour before.

The doors to Target opened automatically and the three of us entered the store again. Fluttershy was having difficulty walking again, probably because of her nerves. She allowed me to assist her, but she kept looking my way out of the corner of her eyes as if I were going to attack or something. Pinkie's mood was difficult to figure out. She had been very suspicious and almost angry in the car, but she was now walking along and taking in the sights around her with a smile. I saw what I was looking for just ahead of us. I stopped the girls and ensured that I had their attention.

"Okay you two, once you've seen these I need you to please give me a chance to explain everything before you do anything unreasonable," I said. I didn't continue onward until I had heard agreements from both of them. Once that was settled, we walked onward and arrived at the toy section.

Toys of all sorts were displayed neatly on the shelves. It was a small store in a small town, so the employees probably kept it spotless out of boredom. We passed a display of Transformers toys with at least ten spots filled with Bumblebee toys. There was a WWE display on the next end cap that featured little plastic Jon Cena toys and championship belts. Two more aisles further on I found what I was looking for and stopped.

After a moment of hesitation, I waved a hand in the direction of the toy display. "Well, here we are. You'll probably notice some familiar faces here. Have a look, and I'll answer all of your questions when you're ready."

Pinkie walked towards the display slowly, but Fluttershy had tensed up and would not move, so I remained with her to keep her steady. We watched together as Pinkie reached out and removed one of the toys from its peg. Inside the package was a plastic representation of Rarity, complete with bright artwork depicting the pony on the front. A white and purple printed message exclaimed Pony wears the saddle! The toy came with a pink saddle, purple comb, and a green bird as accessories. Pinkie looked over her shoulder back to us, but her face was unreadable. She then turned back around and took a different toy off of one of the pegs. Inside was the smiling, pink representation of herself.

I looked to Fluttershy who looked confused and distraught. "Hey, it's okay mate. I don't fully understand it myself, but I'll explain as much as I can when you're ready to hear it." She nodded absently, but still seemed deeply shaken.

Pinkie then returned to us with several toys in her hands. The way her brow was furrowed and her eyes locked onto mine caused my heart to skip a beat. I was prepared for the worst when she finally spoke.

"You know, if you humans are going to spy on us, you could at least take a decent photo!" Pinkie glared at me. "Look at my mane in this picture, it's all over the place! Rarity is far too skinny in hers, and don't even get me started on what you people did to poor Fluttershy. No wonder she's crying!"

A quick look towards Fluttershy confirmed that she was indeed crying again. If Hell truly existed, I was certain that making Fluttershy cry twice in one week was enough to all but guarantee a one-way ticket to an eternity of torment and suffering. I thought that maybe I could be forgiven if I somehow got them back to Equestria, but I needed to sort this mess out first.

"Well, I can try to explain. This might go better if we discuss it elsewhere though," I said. I gave Fluttershy a smile, but she seemed to be in shock and could only continue giving absent nods.

"Fine, but we're taking these with us," Pinkie said, indicating the pony toys. She had one each of Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy. "Please?" she added quietly.

I sighed and nodded, and was rewarded with a big hug from Pinkie as she giggled and looked at the toys with the pure excitement that a little girl would have. Her sudden mood swings were making it difficult to predict how she'd react to anything. I should have already been prepared for such randomness, but to see it in person was entirely different from watching it on a cartoon.

"Let's get going. I'm sure you both have a lot you want to talk about," I said.

Pinkie and I helped Fluttershy as we all walked to the checkout counter so that I could pay for the toys.

"Okay," I said as I closed the boot of the car, safely locking the pony toys within. I turned to the girls. "Do you want to hear about how I know all about Equestria before or after we eat?"

"It can wait, let's go get food!" Pinkie squealed.

"Fluttershy, how about you?" I asked.

She nodded again, and I decided that some food might help to bring her out of her mood. We walked across the street and I held the door open for the girls as we entered the Subway restaurant. As we approached the front counter, a young man emerged from the employee area in the back. His name tag read 'Stanley T.'

"Good afternoon, what can I get for you all today?" the young man asked with a smile. He seemed like a pleasant fellow.

"Uh, I'll have a six inch club on honey oat, not toasted. Okay girls, choose your bread first," I said, indicating the bread chart sticker on the counter. "These will both be six inches, too," I mentioned to Stanley.

"Wow, how many kinds of bread can there be?" Pinkie asked with wonder. "White, wheat, honey oat, and what's this one? It-al-ian herbs and cheese?" She was gently hopping up and down like a kid in an ice cream shop.

"They're all pretty good. There are a lot more types of bread than this, too. You'd probably like honey oat because of the sweetness," I explained.

"Alrighty then, a veggie sub on honey oat it is," Pinkie beamed.

Fluttershy wasn't doing so well, so I ordered one for her, too. Stanley the sandwich artist made up our order quickly, and I ordered drinks and cookies with each sub. We got the food to go, and we were soon carrying our order out the door and towards the car. Just before the door closed, Pinkie turned around and waved.

"Bye Stanley!" she exclaimed. She turned back to us with a shrug. "I almost feel like I know that guy from somewhere."

I shrugged it off as coincidence and helped Fluttershy across the road and into the car. Once we were all buckled in, I started the engine and got us back on the road. I had seen a small park nearby as I had searched the town for some place to eat, and within a few minutes we were there. The parking lot was empty, probably because today was colder than usual. We got out of the car and headed towards a picnic table with our food in tow.

Once the girls were seated I quickly handed the subs out to their respective owners, as well as two chocolate chip cookies and a Coke each. We had each taken a few bites before the first question finally came.

"Okay, so you told us all about Earth and how humans usually act, all about different countries, cities and stuff. That was last night, but now we see that you didn't exactly tell us everything. Like eating meat, for example," Pinkie said, eyeing my sub.

"Right. Well, you need to understand that it's really easy to take things for granted. Trying to explain an entire world and everything contained within is kind of difficult, but I did my best," I replied.

"You never told us you knew who we are," Fluttershy said quietly. It was the first she had spoken in at least an hour.

"Well, I didn't know who you were until Pinkie chased after me. But I get what you mean. Look, I really don't understand it all, but here on Earth you're known as a fictional character from a TV show."

Both girls stared blankly at me.

"Right," I said. "You don't know what TV is. Uh, it's a thing that let's you see a play from far away without actually attending the play, more or less," I explained.

"So, like binoculars?" Fluttershy asked.

This was going to be more difficult than I imagined. I decided to get back to the point. "Uh, not quite. Listen, all I really know is that up until yesterday I thought you two were just myths. Make-believe. That's how everyone else in this world would think of you, too. Nobody actually believes that Equestria or any of the ponies living in it are real."

Pinkie took a large drink of Coke. "Well of course we're real! We're right here, aren't we? We can't be not-real because we're here and talking to you, duh! So how do you know so much about Equestria, anyway?" she asked.

"Well, this is where we get back to TV. Here, I kind of have one in my phone," I said, taking out my Samsung Galaxy S II. I opened the YouTube application and typed in 'my little pony fim' into the search bar. Within seconds, I was scrolling through videos with bright, colorful ponies.

"What they hay?" Pinkie asked. "This... this explains everything!" she said, eyes going blank for a moment. "I somehow always knew I was being watched. Ha! I'm not crazy, I knew it!" She jumped up from the table and began hopping around. "I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!"

"But... I know you said you didn't know, but how is that even possible?" Fluttershy asked. "This was back during Winter Wrap Up when I was waking up the critters for spring. How am I watching myself do that right now?"

"I honestly have no clue. Maybe everything's real. I wonder if there's a Thundercats universe," I pondered. "Oh, right. Well, I really don't have any more answers as far as that's concerned. But if Equestria is real, then I guess there has to be a way to get you back there. I'll still try to help as much as I can, but I really don't know what to do other than take care of you until you can figure it all out."

Pinkie stopped hopping around all of a sudden and put her hands on my shoulders. "You can't see everything we do, can you?" she asked.

"It's a kids show, so no. We can't see inside bathrooms, for example," I explained.

"Whew. I won't destroy you for being a pervert, then," she said with a smile. Her casual demeanor was unsettling.

Fluttershy began to sway in her seat, and looked pale. "I... I think I need to lay down," she whispered. She definitely wasn't taking the news as well as Pinkie was.

"Right, let's get back to the camp. You can have a rest while I answer any more questions that Pinkie has," I said. Pinkie and I slowly helped Fluttershy back to the car. After buckling her in and giving her an encouraging squeeze on the hand, I hopped into the driver's seat and we were soon back on the road.

We arrived at the camp site within the hour. Fluttershy looked to be ill, but I was hoping a good amount of rest would make her feel better. We hadn't slept for long the night before, so the combination of mental and physical fatigue was probably doing a number on her. It was a lot to take in, what with suddenly becoming human, waking up in a strange land, then finding out that you were somehow part of their entertainment.

I saw that something was wrong the moment the tent came into view. The gaping hole cut into the side of it was what tipped me off. The fact that half of my possessions were strewn about the camp site didn't make me feel any better about the situation.

"Bloody hell, really?" I growled. I wondered what kind of animal would be large enough to do that much damage. This wasn't dingo territory, and I couldn't imagine a kangaroo breaking into a tent. They were generally too timid for that. Could it be a robbery? I sighed. I had thought I'd left that kind of stuff behind in Detroit.

I parked and stepped out of the car, then helped Fluttershy out. "You two stay back, please," I warned. "Whatever did this was either a large animal or a human, and it may still be here."

The girls nodded and I quietly crept up towards the tent. I listened for several moments and heard nothing. I was about to walk in when I suddenly heard a noise from within, and slowly peeked into the hole. Inside my tent I saw a young boy with short, snow-white hair dressed in a white shirt and shorts. He was on his knees rummaging through my possessions. He found my box of Nutri-Grain and tore the top off of it, then grabbed a handful of cereal and shoved it into his mouth. He immediately spit it out, then hurled the cereal box across the tent.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing in my tent? Are you lost? Where are your parents?"

The boy's head whipped around to look at me. Where I had been expecting blue or possibly grey eyes, I was met with a purely black-eyed stare. He looked up at me with a frown, then slowly did a kind of a half-crawl towards me.

"Are your legs injured?" I asked. I began to worry that maybe he was an abused runaway. "What's your name?"

The boy crawled up to me and slowly stood on shaky legs. He studied me with his strange black eyes for a few seconds, then frowned and kicked me in the shin as hard as he could. I crumpled to the ground in pain and grabbed my sore leg.

"Oh, you little shit!" I screamed. The boy glared at me, then slowly walked out of the tent. "Be careful girls, he's a kicker!" I looked over at them from my spot on the ground. Pinkie looked to be on the verge of laughter, but Fluttershy's eyes were as wide as I'd ever seen them. The boy stopped and stared at her curiously.

"A-Angel?" Fluttershy gasped. The young boy tilted his head, then nodded vigorously. Fluttershy covered her mouth with both hands, and then abruptly fainted.

Reality Bites

Reality Bites
April 15th 2012

My camp site at Burrinjuck Nature Reserve looked as if it were a scene from a bad horror film. My tent had been torn open and my belongings had been thrown everywhere. Clothing, blankets, and food littered the ground both inside and outside of the tent. Lying on the ground were two humans. One of them, Fluttershy, was unconscious after recently fainting. The other one was me, as I was nursing a sore shin that had recently been kicked by the white-haired boy who had been responsible for wrecking my camp site. Nearby, Pinkie Pie observed the scene with a mixture of confusion and amusement.

I looked to the white-haired boy who was crouching between the girls and myself. "Angel, if that's really you then we need to have a talk about patience and how I possess very little of it for people who kick me," I growled. The boy merely frowned at me, so I ignored him and looked over to Pinkie. "But first, Pinkie can you help me up? We need to help Fluttershy into the tent so she can rest. It will do her no good to be lying on this hard ground out here."

"Sure thing, Captain!" Pinkie said with a quick salute. She stepped away from the car and over one of the tent's guy ropes, and was soon helping me to my feet.

Once I had been helped up I spent a few moments testing my footing before following Pinkie towards the car where Fluttershy lay. The going was slow because of my sore leg, but the pain had faded to a dull ache by the time I was halfway there. When we arrived, Fluttershy was still unconscious. I gingerly knelt beside her and prepared to gently awaken her, but as soon as I reached out to her I noticed something was wrong.

"Rise and shine, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said with a giggle. "There's no sleeping on-duty allowed out here, that's Rainbow Dash's job!"

My heart seemed to skip a beat as I began to notice more things that were wrong. Fluttershy's forehead was covered with sweat and her cheeks were flushed red. Her breathing seemed off, as if she were subconsciously struggling for air. I quickly grabbed one of her small hands and placed it in my own. Everything was all wrong, she should have been awake by then.

"Fluttershy?" I asked softly. "Hey Fluttershy, can you hear me?" There was no response.

Oh no. Please, not this.

Pinkie appeared by my side and looked over my shoulder as I moved my hand to Fluttershy's forehead. "Hey, why isn't she waking up?" she asked, her smile being replaced with a look of concern.

"She's sick," I replied as I brushed Fluttershy's hair away from her neck and checked her shoulders. "She has a fever and her breathing is labored. This is... this could be bad. It looks like... " my voice trailed off as I spotted a small red mark on her right shoulder near the neck.

Oh no.

"It looks like what?" Pinkie asked. The white-haired boy who claimed to be Angel crawled towards us for a closer look, his face unreadable.

Pinkie's question went unnoticed, however, as I began to panic while I tried to think of what to do. The red mark meant she had been bitten, and judging by its size it had most likely been a spider. Figuring out what kind of spider had bitten her was crucial, but then what would I do? Hospitalization would lead to questions about her identity, but her body was reacting severely and she could need antivenom. What spider could it be though, I wondered. Maybe a white tail, but they generally stayed on the ground. Was she bitten before or after she passed out? She had been feeling faint back at the park, and even seemed a bit ill in Target. Had something bitten her that long ago? White tail bites usually don't lead to breathing complications though. A redback then? That would be bad. Those were usually very painful though, and she hadn't complained of any pain. Or had she? I couldn't remember.

A small pair of hands grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me, bringing my mind back to what I was doing. I glanced over to see the white-haired boy staring at me with those strange eyes he had. In them could be seen no annoyance, as there had been earlier. In its place seemed to be desperation, or perhaps the boy was panicking as well. He raised his hands up and pointed at me, then gestured toward Fluttershy and mimicked putting a bandage on. Once this was done he raised his hands in the air as if in celebration, then looked back to me with his brow furrowed and a questioning look upon his face.

"Right. Yes, I'm going to try to help her," I told him. I looked over at Pinkie, who was staring wide-eyed at Fluttershy. "Pinkie, go look in the cooler and see if there is any ice left in there. Quickly!" I commanded.

Pinkie looked up and blinked, then said, "Right! To the... uh, cooler?" She looked at me questioningly.

"Where all the Coke was before you drank it all," I explained.

"Coke! Right!" she said and ran into the tent.

I watched as Pinkie left, then turned to the boy. "Okay uh, Angel. Do you know what a pillow is?" I asked him.

His brow lowered and he crossed his arms, unimpressed.

"Okay, of course you do. Go get me two of them from the tent, please. Quickly!" I said as I bent down to check on Fluttershy's breathing again. A sharp tug on my shirt sleeve brought my attention back to the boy. "What?" I growled. "I said to hurry!"

He pointed at his legs and shrugged, then pointed at me and crossed his arms again. I had forgotten that he couldn't walk.

"Bloody hell," I swore. It wasn't the boy's fault, I knew. I was scared and confused as to what to do. I knew senior first aid, but this might require more than what I was capable of doing. Under normal circumstances I would leave Fluttershy where she was, but everything I needed was in the tent. As carefully as I could, I reached my arms underneath her body and lifted her from the ground, then made my way into the tent with a slight limp. I brought her to my air mattress and laid her down gently.

Pinkie Pie appeared by my side and held out a chunk of ice cubes that had melted together. I gratefully took them from her and quickly untied my right shoe and took it off, followed by my sock. I then filled the sock with the ice and moved Fluttershy's hair out of the way so I could press the ice to the bite mark. Ordinarily I would have used a clean sock, but with my tent basically ransacked there was no time to look for one. I took one of my pillows and placed it under Fluttershy's feet to elevate her legs. That wasn't something to help with spider bites. It was for people who were in shock, but I wasn't thinking properly and thought it was a good idea at the time. If anything, I hoped it would help make her comfortable.

"Doug?" Pinkie asked quietly. I turned to look at her. Pinkie usually had a bright smile on her face, but that was not the case here. Her lower lip trembled slightly, and her eyes were wide and pleading. I reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek. "What do we do now?" she asked.

I don't know, I thought.

I closed my eyes and thought about the options. Both carried severe risks. I felt Pinkie's hand brush a tear from my cheek before I answered.

"We wait," I decided. I opened my eyes and looked at Pinkie, but then looked away. I could not look her in the eyes. Not after the decision I had come to.

The white-haired boy then appeared at the hole in my tent and crawled inside. I somewhat regretted leaving him alone outside, but getting Fluttershy comfortable and taken care of was more important than the kid's feelings as far as I was concerned. I took the ice away from Fluttershy's bite and held it briefly on her forehead to help with the fever, then brought it back to the bite again. Her breathing had become regular again, which was a major relief. The boy arrived by my side at that point and I handed the ice to him.

"Hold this onto the bite on her neck, but take it away from time to time so it doesn't burn her skin," I told the boy.

He took the ice-filled sock and nodded, staring at me with his mouth agape. I ignored him and stood up on shaky knees.

"Fluttershy was bitten by a spider," I explained. "A venemous one. She's breathing normally again, but she still has a fever. Keep an eye on her, Pinkie. If she begins breathing erratically again, call out for me. I need to go sit by the lake for a while."

Pinkie and the boy both stared at me as I exited the tent through the hole in its side. I would need to clean the place up later, but it definitely wasn't the time for it. I stepped over the guy ropes and trekked over the hard earth and down a steady slope towards Lake Burrinjuck. I barely noticed the trees as I passed them, as my eyes couldn't seem to look at anything higher than the ground. I eventually reached the lakeside and found a rock to sit on, then stared at the water in contemplation. Questions formed unbidden in my mind. What if Fluttershy died? I had chosen to wait it out, knowing that death was a possibility. Could I have taken her to a hospital without an ID card for her? Probably, but the questions would begin getting asked eventually. Who was she, did she have insurance, where was her birth certificate, where did she live? I didn't know how many answers I could bluff my way through before I was caught in a lie. Was it worth risking her life to try to protect their identity?

The events of the past few days replayed in my head as I watched the gentle waves lap against the shore. For whatever reason, I had come to meet two former ponies and possibly a bunny from a land that wasn't supposed to actually exist. Ever since witnessing Pinkie Pie bend the laws of physics, I had been convinced that they were who they said they were. But the implications of such a thing hadn't quite sunk in until now. If Equestria and the ponies within it were real and existed on some other planet or dimension, then did that mean every cartoon was a representation of something real that existed elsewhere? Did that possibility extend to movies, as well? Books? What did that say about God and religion? For that matter, what did it say about our current understanding of science? There was more to this than just other dimensions that didn't follow the laws of science as we understood them. Pinkie had somehow climbed a tree that had been in front of me when she had clearly been behind me seconds beforehand. Could she disregard gravity here on Earth in the same way she did in Equestria? Could she teach humans how to do it?

The more I thought about things, the more I began to realize that I might be in over my head. Why was I the one to find them? There was nothing special about me that I could think of. The fact of the matter was, I had done some fairly awful things in my life. Things that I was not proud of. Surely there were people far more deserving than I was to find and take care of the three transfigured and misplaced friends. Maybe there were other people who had found ponies or animals from Equestria. Maybe I was the odd one out. The one bad seed in a group of otherwise good people who were chosen, or destined, or just plain lucky to find a pony or two. The girls had mentioned that Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna had all been present when a spell had gone wrong and sent them here. Were the other ponies on Earth, too? Were they in Australia? I had already found three of them. I scratched my beard as I thought about that. If the boy really was Angel, then where had he been when the girls were fighting Discord? If he was at Fluttershy's house like he usually was, then the magic shock wave the girls had described would have travelled a fair distance to get there. How many other ponies and creatures had been caught in it? Perhaps every creature in Equestria had been transformed into humans and sent to Earth. That could become a major problem.

I heard the grass rustling behind me and turned to see Pinkie Pie climbing down the slope. She walked over and sat on the rock beside me, then looked at me until I finally met her eyes. She had the touch of a smile on her lips.

"What's up, Pinkie?" I asked. "You were supposed to stay with Fluttershy."

"She's awake," Pinkie replied, and I felt an immediate wave of relief wash over me. She picked up a stone and tossed it into the lake, where it landed with a splash. She then continued, "She's pretty tired, and she says the bite hurts a whole bunch now, but she's awake and otherwise feeling peachy keen. All thanks to you."

I tried to look away, but Pinkie leaned over until I was looking at her again. All I had done was give Fluttershy's bite some ice. It had really just been luck that she had recovered so well. Or perhaps she retained some equine characteristics within her body that differed from that of normal humans, and therefore had better immunity to the poison. I wasn't even certain how a horse or pony would react to various spider bites.

"I didn't do much," I grunted. "We should have taken her to a hospital."

Pinkie studied my eyes for a moment before speaking. "You did all that you could," she said quietly. Her tone was far more serious than I had ever heard before. "I saw the way you acted when you tried to help Fluttershy. You totally care for her safety, don't you? You know, I wasn't so sure about you at first. You actually broke a Pinkie Promise, which is just about the worst thing ever. But since then, you've proven that you aren't bad at all in my eyes, Captain. You really are one of the good guys."

"If you say so," I mumbled. I let my gaze wander back to the lake and watched the sparkles that the sun created on its surface. "So you left Fluttershy with that boy. Do you think he's really Angel?" I asked.

Pinkie nodded. "Oh yes, that's definitely him all right. I'd recognize that frowny face from anywhere. Don't you worry about him though. He really does love Fluttershy, even if he acts like a little meanie sometimes. He gave her a big old hug when she woke up, and that seemed to cheer her right up."

I pictured Fluttershy smiling, and discovered one forming on my own face. Pinkie and Fluttershy both seemed to have the same personalities as their cartoon counterparts, and they would both make amazing friends. I looked at Pinkie and saw that she was smiling again as well.

"Pinkie," I began, somewhat embarrassed. "Would you say that we're friends?"

Pinkie gave a small chuckle, then she leaned over and surprised me with a warm hug. "Of course we're friends, silly Dougie!" she giggled. "You've only run away from me once, and that was because I was chasing you when you broke your Pinkie Promise. Some ponies run away lots of times before I finally win them over, and there was this donkey named Cranky who ran all over Equestria and even then wouldn't become my friend until I put two and two and two together and figured out that his long, lost sweetheart from his youth was in Ponyville and had her come over to his place for a visit. You should have seen his face when he saw her. It was one of my better moments," she finished with a grin.

I could only chuckle and shake my head in wonder. How I had ever doubted that the girl sitting beside me was Pinkie Pie was beyond me at that point. I doubted anyone could roleplay a character for so well for so long.

"Let's get back to camp," I finally said, standing up. I held out my hand and helped Pinkie to her feet. "I want to see Fluttershy, and I still have to clean up the camp. I should probably help teach Angel how to walk like a human, too."

Pinkie agreed and we climbed up the steady slope until the tent came into sight. There was something different about the camp site, however.

"Who cleaned up the mess?" I asked absently. Pinkie merely shrugged and followed.

I carefully avoided the guy ropes and bent over to enter the tent through the hole in its side. Inside, the tent was relatively spotless. Fluttershy was sitting up on the air mattress near the back of the tent and watching Angel as he scooped up some pieces of Nutri-Grain that was on the tent floor and placed them in a plastic bag. She looked up as Pinkie and I entered and gave a squeak.

"Oh, you startled me," she said quietly. "I thought you might be a, um... "

"Monster?" I finished for her. "Technically I am, to you. But I'm a friendly monster." I smiled at her. "I'm glad to see you're doing better. So, you got Angel to clean up the mess he made?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, not at all! He wanted to clean it up all by himself. He felt so ashamed of how he treated you earlier," she responded, looking in Angel's direction.

I glanced at the boy. He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders with a sheepish grin, then went back to cleaning up. The tent looked to be in good condition, with the only exception being the hole we had just entered. I had some duct tape in the back of the car, and it would do the job for the time being. I walked over to Fluttershy and gave her a hug, leading to her cheeks becoming quite red.

"Sorry, Fluttershy," I said. "I know that was awkward, but I was really worried about you." My eyes met hers, and I had to look away. I really was very happy that she was feeling better, but I still regretted my decision to risk her life.

"It's okay," she said. "Pinkie told me what you did for me. Thank you."

"No worries," I said. "I just did what anyone would do. We need to focus on finding your friends, though." I stood up and began to pace.

"You're going to help us find the others? All right, this calls for a party!" Pinkie shouted and raised her hands in the air.

"Yes, I'm going to help you find them. It's the least I can do after... " I hesitated and didn't finish.

Pinkie blinked at me. "After what?" she asked.

After putting your friend's life at risk, I thought. "Nothing. There are things we can use to look for signs that your friends might have been found. That's one good thing about living in this time period - news travels fast," I said.

"Ooh, what kind of things? Telescopes? Binoculars?" Pinkie asked.

"No," I replied. "The internet."

"Oh wow, the internet!" Pinkie bounced up and down in excitement. "I can't wait to use it. Wait, what's the internet?"

"You'll find out soon enough," I replied. "I'm going to make us up some food now, especially for Angel who looks to be particularly hungry." Angel nodded his head quickly in agreement. I continued. "We need to eat, then get an early night's rest. We're packing up camp early tomorrow."

"You mean you don't live out here?" Fluttershy asked. She looked at the tent doubtfully.

"No, I don't live here," I replied. "Tomorrow we head back to where I live. Tomorrow, we're going to Sydney."

The Internet: The Last Crusade!

The Internet: The Last Crusade!
April 16th 2012

A fit of giggling erupted from the back seat of my little white Holden Barina as we cruised along the Hume Highway past Yass, heading north-east towards Sydney. I glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw Pinkie holding one of the toys I had bought her at Target. She held it up to show Angel.

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle," she said with a fairly decent impression of the purple unicorn's voice. "I can count to over one hundred bazillion!" she added and giggled again.

Angel held up the Rainbow Dash toy and pretended it was flying around, making loops in mid-air, then suddenly had it zoom to land on the car seat and make a little bow. He grinned up at Pinkie.

I returned my eyes back to the road. The scenery between Yass and Sydney included a whole lot of nothing at all, and its ability to cause fatigue in drivers was notorious. I needed to keep my mind occupied, so I turned on the radio and set the volume low, then glanced at Fluttershy in the passenger's seat beside me. Her hands were folded in her lap, but I noticed them fidgeting with her dress from time to time.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" I asked. "Does the bite still hurt?"

Fluttershy jumped slightly, but was quick to regain her composure. Her right hand absently found its way to her neck before she answered.

"It does, a little. I just... " she trailed off with a whisper. I glanced at her again and found her staring out her window.

"Go on, you can tell me," I encouraged her.

A sigh, and then, "I just don't understand what I did to make it bite me."

I cleared my throat. "You didn't do anything wrong. This is Australia, the Everfree forest of this world. The animals here are wild and dangerous, and can take care of themselves without assistance." I reached over and gave her shoulder a small squeeze. "I love animals, too. But I'm still careful around them because they're unpredictable. It wasn't your fault at all."

Fluttershy peeked my way out of the corner of her eye. "You really like animals?" she asked after a few moments.

Another outburst of giggling came from the back seat. A quick look in the rear-view mirror revealed that Pinkie had somehow managed to set up a miniature party for the pony toys, complete with tiny balloons. Angel was scrutinizing the bunny that came with Fluttershy's toy and frowning at the yellow ribbon on its ears. I shifted my eyes back to the road.

"Yeah, I've always loved animals, especially wolves. I'm pretty good with them, too." Fluttershy nodded, but her eyes were on the floor of the car. "Hey, want me to turn the radio up a bit? Maybe a nice song can help take your mind off of things," I suggested.

After a moment of silence, she turned and focused her aqua eyes on me. "Can you... could you maybe play that song I really like?"

I was about to explain how unlikely it would be for it to be playing on the radio at that very moment, but stopped myself. A green sign was fast approaching which read 'Goulburn Next 2 Exits', and it gave me an idea.

"How would you like to listen to it whenever you'd like?" I asked.

"Oh, that would be wonderful! Can you really do that?" The look of delight on Fluttershy's face was well worth what I was likely going to have to put up with for the rest of the journey to Sydney.

I nodded and turned my indicator on as we neared the Hume street exit leading into Goulburn. I remembered there being a Sanity music shop in town the last time I had visited and, as luck would have it, I only needed to take a right off of Hume street, then a left onto Auburn and the shop came into view as we neared the middle of town. I pulled the car into one of the available parking spaces, turned off the engine, and hopped out of the car. A moment later we were all walking into the shop, with Angel being helped by Pinkie while Fluttershy leaned on me for support. Neither had become entirely accustomed to walking on human legs just yet, but they were both proficient enough to avoid drawing too much attention.

Angel and the girls followed me to the front counter, where a seemingly bored teenage girl was sorting new arrivals onto a display. She brushed a stray strand of her short, purple-dyed hair away from her face and greeted us.

"Hey, was there anything you were looking for?" she asked. Her eyes darted between Pinkie's and Fluttershy's hair, then down to Angel.

"Yeah," I said, hoping we could get this done quickly. "I'm looking for one of Lady Gaga's last CDs. I can't remember what it's called, but it's the one with Bad Romance."

The girl smiled and winked. "Ah, I should have known you were Gaga fans. You're after The Fame Monster, and you might be lucky because we should only have one left. It came out three years ago, so I doubt we're going to get another one in unless it's re-released." She blinked and pointed at Pinkie. "Hey, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what do you use on your hair? It looks great! I can never get this to come out the shade I want it to be," she said, gesturing toward her own hair.

Pinkie regarded her for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't do anything to it. I was born this way."

The clerk laughed and clapped her hands together. "Hey, I like your sense of humor. Born This Way," she giggled. "Fine, keep it a secret. It does look awesome, though. Here, follow me. The CD should still be on the shelf."

We were led to the Pop aisle and, after a brief search, we found the CD. The clerk handed it over to me, and looked as if she were going to say something when we were interrupted by an outburst from Fluttershy.

"A baby human!" she squealed, looking into a stroller that was being pushed by a woman nearby. "Oh my, it's so cute! Does it talk?"

I quietly offered an apology to the woman, who took it in stride, and led Fluttershy away from the baby.

"Yes, babies are adorable, aren't they?" I said, steering her toward the checkout counter. My face was turning red. "Let's just leave it alone and finish our purchase, shall we?"

"Fluttershy!" The store clerk clapped her hands once more and pointed at Fluttershy. "I knew she looked familiar. That was totally a Fluttershy line."

I slowly turned towards the clerk. "What?" I asked, incredulously.

"Hey, you don't need to hide it. I'm down with ponies," she grinned. She then pointed at Pinkie. "And you must be Pinkie Pie!"

"Wow, she's good," Pinkie said, then giggled.

The clerk went behind the counter and scanned the CD. "Yeah, I totally should have seen it right away," she said as she took my credit card. "You both did a great job on your hair, and you sound just like them, too!" She gestured to her hair. "My favorite is Twilight, as you can see. I can never seem to get the color right, though. Well, it was nice meeting you all. Have a nice day!"

I took the bag from the clerk and offered a smile and a polite wave, then ushered the others out of the store as quickly as I could. I helped Angel and Fluttershy into their seats, then jumped into the driver's seat and started the car. Nobody spoke further until we were back on the Hume highway and heading toward Sydney again.

"Um, Doug?" Fluttershy asked meekly.

"What?" I asked a little too harshly.

"Oh, never mind," she whispered and turned to gaze out her window.

My frustration disappeared as I pondered how she must feel. With a few quick movements, I unwrapped the CD case, opened it up, and placed the disc into the CD player. I selected track one and hit play.

Whoah oh oh oh ohhhhh oh ohhh oh ohh ohhh oh caught in a bad romance,

Whoah oh oh oh ohhhhh oh ohhh oh ohh ohhh oh caught in a bad romance.

Rah rah ah ah ah,

Roma roma ma,

Gaga ooh la la,

Want your bad romance.

As the music continued, I observed the small smile forming at the corners of Fluttershy's lips. Unnoticed by the others, I leaned forward and hit repeat for her and settled in for the remainder of the trip to Sydney.

The three Equestrians had their faces glued to their windows as we approached the exit I was looking for. The scenery had gradually begun to change from barren land to the occasional home and a few buildings nearly twenty minutes beforehand, and we were now surrounded on all sides by structures of every kind. They had thought Yass was rather large, and had been surprised at how much larger Goulburn had been. Sydney was like something they could never imagine, and we weren't even in the inner city.

My apartment was close to the motorway, and it only took a few minutes from the time we took the exit for us to find ourselves pulling into the parking area in the back of the apartment block. I backed the car into my parking spot, then turned off the engine.

"Seat belts off, everyone," I announced. "We're here."

Pinkie unbuckled her seatbelt, then helped Angel, who was still getting used to life with fingers instead of paws. I leaned over and helped Fluttershy, who had nearly managed to do it herself, but seemed to lack the finger strength required to push the button all the way in. She smiled graciously.

"Oh my, is this entire building yours?" she asked, looking up and taking it all in.

"Oh, no. This is an apartment building. Lots of people live here," I explained.

Pinkie leaned forward and poked her head in-between us. "Oh yeah, it's just like in Manehattan," she added.

"Come on, let's go inside," I said.

We all climbed out of the car and I led the trio up the pathway that led from the parking area to the front security door. I helped Fluttershy up the front steps, then unlocked the security door and led them up a narrow staircase to unit number six.

"This one is mine," I said as I opened the door and led them into my home.

A short hallway opened up into my living room. To our right was my five-seat modular chaise, upon which I bid the trio to sit down. Along the far wall was my entertainment center that featured a forty inch True HDTV, the latest Xbox and Playstation systems, a Nintendo Wii, a Sega Dreamcast, and my computer. To the immediate left of that was my treadmill, which was set up so that I could exercise while watching television or listening to music. The far right wall had a sliding glass door that opened onto the balcony, upon which was another small sofa. A door near the chaise led into the kitchen, while a hall near the entertainment center led to the bedrooms and the bathroom.

I turned on the computer and the TV, as I had the TV set up so that it could be used as my computer screen, then took my jacket off and threw it over the treadmill.

"Anyone thirsty?" I asked. "I have Coke, water, and apple juice to choose from. Well, I have some Grey Goose as well, but I think I may end up in Hell if I served either of you three alcohol."

"Coke!" Pinkie yelled, then caught herself. "Um, please," she added with a sheepish grin.

"Um, could I have some water please?" Fluttershy asked. "Oh, and some for Angel too, if that's okay with you."

"Right. One Coke and two waters, coming up. Just sit tight there and I'll be right back," I said. I picked up the remote control and turned on the TV. "Here, I reckon you can watch some TV if you'd like. It's midday on Monday, so I doubt anything interesting is on, but you can at least see a little bit of humanity in action. Don't worry, it's just TV so none of it's real... " I trailed off as I re-thought that statement, but the three were no longer listening. Sesame Street was on, and they all seemed entranced by Big Bird. I stepped into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses from the overhead cabinet above the sink and brought them to my refrigerator's ice-maker and filled them with ice and filtered water. I then grabbed two Cokes from within the fridge and, balancing it all with care, went back into the living room and passed around the drinks.

"All right then. I'm just going to switch this over to my computer and check a few things out. It shouldn't take long, since I doubt anyone's crazy enough to admit they found your friends," I explained. "If anything, I can at least see if those pink skies from a few days ago happened anywhere else in the world."

I clicked the source button on the remote and the TV flashed from a scene involving Elmo to a large background image of a smiling, greenish-tan pony with a curly orange mane bearing two flower baskets on her saddle. Pinkie and Fluttershy both gasped.

"Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness!" Pinkie exclaimed. "It's Junebug, and she's okay!" She bounced up and down on the chaise, but her joy was short-lived as she realized the image wasn't moving. She looked over at me. "Aww, it's just a photo, isn't it?" she asked, dejected.

"Uh, something like that," I said sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Pinkie. I forgot I had that set up as my background." I had told the girls how the internet had to be accessed by computers, and that we had to use the internet to see if their friends had been spotted. She must have thought that we had instant results when the screen showed Junebug, though I knew it would likely be a long time before we could track any of them down. If we managed to find any of them.

The Equestrians were silent as I brought up my Chrome browser and typed in various sites. CNN had reported pink skies over several parts of America, some in Europe, and those in Australia. MSNBC, the ABC, and the Sydney Morning Herald sites all showed much of the same. There was no indication of anyone found claiming to be ponies or from another world.

"You can read all that?" Pinkie asked, leaning forward and squinting at the screen. "The letters look familiar, but they look kind of funny and hard to make out."

I turned to face the others. "So you can't read English? Don't worry, I'll read anything I find that's important out loud," I said.

Pinkie frowned and squinted some more. "I can almost read it. It's way similar to how we write back in Equestria," she stated. "I bet I can read it if I have a few more minutes to look at it."

I nodded. It wasn't surprising that I didn't find anything useful on the big media pages, but there were plenty of smaller sites I could check. That could take a while, though. I leaned back and thought for a few minutes, but I couldn't think of what to do next. I decided to hop into the FiMFiction chat room to pass some time. Then I got an even better idea.

"Hey Pinkie, how would you like to chat with one of your fans?" I asked. "Don't worry, the internet is anonymous. Nobody will know it's really you."

Pinkie's eyes lit up. "Really? You mean you'll let me talk to a brony?"

I stared at her for a moment, but recovered quickly. It was strange, but I was getting used to Pinkie's antics.

"Yes. Even though I've never explained what a brony is to you and yet you somehow know what one is, I'll let you chat to one. Just one!" I warned. It would just be a little harmless fun. No matter what she decided to say, nobody would believe her. Especially in a chat room filled with pony fans.

Pinkie bounced excitedly as I logged into the chat room. I decided to type a quick message into the chat before handing the keyboard over to Pinkie.

[12:10] == TheSlorg has joined #fimfiction

12:10 Heya everyone. Anything strange going down? Other than Horse Power x Featherweight shipping.

I sat back and thought about what I had just typed. In this chat room, I could get some very interesting answers to that question. I thought about just exiting out, but I had told Pinkie she could chat, so I stayed.

12:10 Cosplay!

12:10 eh, just ignore him. Trolls’ll be trolls

12:11 sounds good, hey anyone see the new promo for the Royal Wedding?

12:11 Eh, nothing much. Seems more like games. I bet none of it’ll be in the real finale

Cosplay. Yeah, I really didn't want the girls to have to deal with that right now. I typed one more message, then typed in the command to change my nickname and handed the keyboard to Pinkie.

12:11 Oh lawdy no cosplay please. Anything else?

"Here you go, Pinkie. Just press the letters to spell out your name and hit this key," I said, indicating the Enter key. "Then you can talk to whoever you want."

"Thank you!" she squealed and began typing slowly.

12:11 I bet some of it’ll work in. Bet DJ-PON3 will be there

12:12 Please! If somepony has found a pony please help! Please!

[12:12] == TheSlorg has changed nick to Pilnkuy

"Whoops, you misspelled your name," I said, then thought about it. "Unless that's how it's spelled in Equestria." I looked at the chat entries I had missed. "Wait... whoah! What is this? Someone is talking about finding ponies!" I yelled. Unbelievable, I wasn't expecting anything to happen this quickly.

"Someone found somepony?" Pinkie asked. Angel and Fluttershy both leaned forward, eager to hear more. In the meantime, Pinkie was typing quickly.

12:12 Ohoi ohg! Wasrt weaiyt who’;d you fionfd/!

20:12 what are you talking about?

"Pinkie, give me the keyboard back! Don't talk about this in the main chat, we need to open up a query and talk to him privately," I explained. "It might not be anything. I wouldn't expect anyone to go public with finding a pony, or someone who claims to be one. Let's just see what he's on about and take it a step at a time."

Pinkie sighed and handed the keyboard over, but was soon looking over my shoulder at the screen. Fluttershy and Angel looked on with interest.

I opened up a query with the chatter named Fullmetal_Pony. He was probably trolling, as someone in the chat had mentioned a troll earlier. I thought they had meant me, but maybe it was this guy.

12:14 Sorry about that. I had to go afk a second. You were saying something about finding ponies?

12:14 What?

Don't play dumb with me, kid, I thought.

12:14 Ponies. Why are you talking about finding ponies?

12:14 Why? You here to call me crazy too?

Maybe.

12:14 I think everyone in here is crazy. Some more than others. Speaking of which, did you see pink skies a few days ago?

12:14 Did you smell fudge?

I dropped the keyboard to the floor and stood up to pace. None of the news reports had mentioned the strange fudge smell that had accompanied the pink skies. Was it a link to finding the other ponies?

"What's going on?" Fluttershy asked. "Did someone make you angry?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm not angry. Look, this guy I'm chatting with might have actually found somepony, but I need to find out more. For all I know, the FBI or the CIA or something may have found one, and are fishing for suspects."

"You mean the PIA?" Pinkie asked.

I ignored the question and picked the keyboard back up.

12:17 Maybe. But I sure as hell didn’t find any fudge. Do ‘hooves’ mean anything to you? Or former hooves.

12:17 Whodidyoufind?!

Like I'm going to just tell you that.

12:17 Who said I found anyone. Hooves, mate. What do they mean to you?

12:17 I found the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"Son of a bitch. I can't believe it," I said, dropping the keyboard on the floor again. I shook my head. "No, the FBI and CIA wouldn't call them that. I don't think they would," I mumbled.

"Oh my gosh, what are you talking about? Did you find anypony? Is the guy a brony? Can I talk to him, now? Please?" Pinkie asked as she picked up the keyboard.

"He says he found the Cutie Mark Crusaders," I stated.

"What!?" Pinkie exclaimed. Her fingers flew over the keyboard as I tried to snatch it back from her. Angel and Fluttershy continued to stare open-mouthed.

12:20 YIUfki;dsftrjhecxiutrijewmnsaewcxruidsasdfeerd/21/1212

12:20 What?

I reclaimed my keyboard and sat down. Pinkie glowered for a moment, but scooted closer to me after a moment and watched me type. I decided to give this 'Fullmetal_Pony' a clue.

12:20 Apologies. There’s a couple of pink-haired girls with me who are very interested in what you just typed. You might recognize them if what you’re saying is true. Where are the crusaders?

The answer didn't come immediately. I imagined the person behind the other computer screen mentally deciding whether to trust me. Well, it was too late for him to worry about that once he had started telling everyone in the main chat about finding ponies.

12:23 Did you find somepony?

Just answer the question, kid.

12:23 Are the crusaders safe? I need to know how you’re dealing with them before you’re going to find anything else out.

12:23 I’m trying my best, but I’m scared. I’ve been looking everywhere for help and trying to keep them out of harm, but everything keeps going wrong. I just want to get them back to Equestria no matter what.

12:23 You could try harder. You go telling the world you have the Cutie Mark Crusaders and eventually someone’s going to believe you. Then what? You get media attention. Military. Rabid bronies.

"I think this guy might be the real deal," I said. "Do any of you object to me telling him I've found you? This could be our only lead to Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo."

"If it means finding our friends, we'll do what it takes," Fluttershy said. "Those poor fillies are probably so scared."

"Tell him, captain!" Pinkie exclaimed. Angel nodded vigorously.

12:23 Don’t worry. I think you might be alright, but you need to be more careful. Discreet. I’ve kept Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel a secret for days. How many people know about the crusaders?

12:23 You said Pinkie, Fluttershy and Angel? God, what if everyone else is here too?

12:23 I hope not. Dealing with these three is breaking me balls. Pinkie got ahold of Coke and chased me through the outback, Fluttershy almost died when she got bit by a redback, and Angel kicked me in the bloody shin.

"What are you saying to him?" Pinkie asked.

"Nothing important. Let me type, please."

"Sorry!"

12:24 Holy crap PM everything! I need help. I don’t know what to do. The CMC are here, but I can’t take care of them.

12:24 Wait! Please tell me you’re not in Australia

12:24 Why? Are you here, too? I suspected there might be more ponies here since I ended up with three. Well, two and a bunny. I’m in Sydney. Where are you, Yass?

12:25 In Texas, US. Crap, I’m on the other side of the Pacific. Please PM everything you know and I’ll PM you everything I know.

Bloody hell. Of course he'd be in the US. I decided it was time to let this guy know who he was dealing with. There were all kinds of people in the world, and I wanted to ensure that the Crusaders were in good hands if I could.

12:26 Right. Just a word of warning, mate...

12:26 You seem alright. But I want those kids kept safe. Don't blow it by giving away their identity, and don't let them get hurt.

12:26 Never! Even if it wasn’t a pony I’d be a monster if I let a kid get hurt! Although, I did already get covered in syrup in the process... don’t ask

"Syrup!?" I bellowed. "What the hell is this guy going on about?"

12:26 What? What are you doing with syrup around them? Do I need to come kick your ass right now? I have connections.

"Ooh syrup? Is he eating syrup? Ask him if it's good!" Pinkie began to bounce beside me again.

12:26 What no! It’s just I wanted to get them some good food and well I think before this is over I’ll be kicked out of every restaurant in Texas.

12:27 Right. Sorry about that, but I’ve got enough problems to deal with without having to find out the Crusaders were found by a weirdo.

12:27 No! That was actually what I thought when I first found them. Not sure what would have been a worse scenario.

12:27 …

12:28 Pinkie asks if the syrup is good.

12:28 *sigh*

12:29 I guess, I only got through half my pancakes before we got thrown out.

I was beginning to think I'd received all the information I was going to get out of this guy. I couldn't believe how quickly we'd found a lead on not just one, but three other ponies. It almost seemed too good to be true.

12:29 Damn. I’m really sorry, but room is spinning on me. I’ve been looking for the past two days, no sleep, for stuff to help the Crusaders. Now it’s all hitting me at once. Just please please pm everything. I’ll get back when I’m in in a proper condition.

12:30 Right, whatever. I’ll PM you more info. Just be quiet about this stuff and keep the girls safe. I can book you a flight to Sydney within a week. Keep them safe until then. We don’t need any more problems.

12:31 I promise

[12:31] == Pilnkuy has quit

I looked over at Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel. "We've done it! We've found the Crusaders, but they're a very long distance away. I'm going to have to arrange a flight for this guy and the girls, and... " I trailed off. A sudden, horrible realization had just occurred to me.

"Um, what's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo aren't going to be able to fly without passports," I said.

"Fly? Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle aren't pegasi, silly!" Pinkie giggled. "And Scootaloo has trouble flying as it is!"

I shook my head. "No, I mean on an airplane. You'll find out later. I was going to contact a friend of mine about getting you three some identification, but we may as well add passports to the list."

Pinkie grinned. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I sighed and leaned back. Getting illegal papers would be risky enough. Getting three sets of them was worse. Getting six sets of them, then mailing three sets to the US while trying not to let them get them caught by customs was bordering on insanity. The papers would have to be perfect. I wondered if he would be up to the task. Worse, I wondered how much it would all cost me.

"I need to have a quick chat with someone," I said, standing up. "I'll just be in the kitchen." I clicked on the source button again on the remote and Sesame Street came back on the screen. The three Equestrians ignored the television and, with the exception of the mute Angel, began whispering excitedly to each other.

I entered the kitchen and took out my phone, thankful that it still had some battery power left. I dialled a familiar number and waited a moment before someone finally answered.

"Hello?" came a thick Middle-Eastern accent.

"Hi Moey, it's Doug."

"Oh hello, friend. What is my favorite white-skinned brother needing this day?" I could almost hear his grin.

"I need a favor, Moey. A big one."

"I see. My favorite kind of favor, yes? The kind that involves paper and coin?" he asked.

"Yes. That kind. Can you come over?"

"What are friends for, yes? I will be over soon."

I hung up the phone and sighed. This was going to be expensive.

Reflections and Royalty

Reflections and Royalty
April 16th 2012

The sound of the intercom buzzer sent Fluttershy scurrying into the corner of the chaise like a rabbit that had just been cornered by the hounds. Angel, on the other hand, merely glanced curiously upward at the sudden noise and shrugged. I stood up and turned to the Equestrians.

"Okay, remember what I said," I warned. "Just let me do the talking here. Moey is a good man, but he has a weakness for... well, let's just hope we get this over with quickly." I walked to the intercom and picked up the receiver.

"Hello, good friend," came the voice from the receiver. "This is your friendly neighborhood radical fundamentalist, and I have come to convert you to the true path of life by means of discussion or violence, depending on whether I deem you worthy of becoming a martyr for. May I please enter your home?"

I tried to hold back my laughter at Moey's eccentric sense of humor. "Good sir, I am but a lost heathen. I am uncertain if your knowledge can save me," I answered.

"Well at least you admit it. Now let me in, it's cold out here!" came the reply.

"Right. Buzzing you in now."

I could hear my friend making his way up the stairs, then peered through the peep hole in the door. Moey was standing outside wearing his trademark broad smile. He had his hair cut short and his face was clean-shaven. His clothing consisted of a heavy hooded sweatshirt and track pants. I opened the door and was met with a hug.

"Dougie! Long time no see," he said, following me into the living room. "So what is this business you wanted me to... " he stopped when he noticed the three Equestrians sitting on the chaise. "My friend, are these beauties what Christianity has to offer? If so, I will take a blood oath or whatever is necessary to convert right now!"

Moey took the seat I offered him. "Moey, these are some mates of mine. They need some help with their identities, and we can't settle for a bodge job. They've got to be realistic."

"Oh? And just how realistic will you be needing?" Moey asked, eyeing the girls.

"FBI realistic."

The smile that was already wide on Moey's face began to grow even wider. "Oh, is that all?" he managed through a sudden fit of giggles. Pinkie decided to join in and giggled as well. "My friend, you do not ask much, yes?"

I allowed his laughter to die down before continuing. "That's not all. I'm going to need at least three more sets, plus passports, for some other children."

Moey clapped his hands together and laughed loudly. "Oh yes! Six sets of papers and passports that are FBI-worthy? My friend, you are either insane, or you have just funded the next six months in the Jihad effort! Either way, I applaud you."

"Come on, Moey. Be serious for a moment," I said. "That's not even funny, either. Be thankful I know you're just joking around. Now how much are we looking at?"

"Okay, okay," he began, regaining his composure. "Okay. If you are serious about this, you'd normally be looking at about twelve thousand dollars." My heart skipped a beat. "But since you are a good friend, I can bring that down to maybe seventy-five hundred."

"Seven thousand five hundred dollars?" I asked, stunned. "I still have to buy airline tickets!"

"Dougie, come on now. I have given you a great deal! Tell you what," he said, looking at the girls. "If one of your lovely friends gives me a kiss, I'll only charge you three thousand." Fluttershy cringed backwards as he let out a hearty laugh.

"No way!" I stood up angrily. "You might just be joking around but... "

I trailed off as Pinkie leaned over towards Moey and planted a big kiss on the tip of his nose. Moey's laughter stopped suddenly as everyone in the room turned to face Pinkie.

"We'll take that discount now," she said sweetly.

"Pinkie!" I shouted. "What did you just do?"

"I got us an easy discount. I mean, duh! I don't know how much a dollar is worth, but if anyone offered me a four thousand five hundred bit discount for a kiss, I'd be totally crazy not to do it!"

Moey blinked at Pinkie, then pointed at her. "I like her, done deal! I'll get them to you for three thousand. It will be maybe three days, maybe four. Quality assurance, yes? Might be a while." He stood up. "Does this conclude our business then?"

I shook my friend's hand, then led him back towards the front door. "I'll email you pictures of the other kids that I need papers for. I appreciate you helping me out here."

"Okay, okay. Please, do not ever mention this deal to anyone. I have a reputation to keep, yes?" I opened the door for him and he stepped through. "Maybe you'll invite me over again soon? While your lovely friends are over, yes?" he asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"We'll see," I called back. He left through the security door and I closed the front door, then walked back into the living room. "Pinkie, I need a word with you."

After warning Pinkie of the dangers of kissing random men, I sat back down on the chaise to prepare my private message for Fullmetal_Pony. Pinkie was in the other room helping Angel learn how to walk better, but Fluttershy was sitting beside me. She chatted excitedly as I thought about what to type.

"Oh, it will be so nice to see the girls again," she said, smiling. "I hope your friend is taking good care of them."

I sighed. "He's not my friend. You need to realize that things on Earth are very different than they are in Equestria."

She looked down at the floor. "Well, I knew that." Her head perked back up. "But he must be nice if he gave them pancakes."

"Just because someone is nice does't mean that person automatically becomes my friend," I explained. "That's what I'm trying to tell you. People can be really mean and cruel, and some people can lie really well. It's hard to know whether someone can be trusted."

Fluttershy sighed. "That sounds complicated."

I nodded, then returned my attention to the screen. I had a blank private message open and needed to get it sent as quickly as possible. I picked up the keyboard and got started.

To: Fullmetal_Pony

Good day,

Okay, so here's the deal. We're going to need passports for the Crusaders before they can fly anywhere. Other paperwork too. Birth certificates, that sort of thing. I've got you covered there, but I'm going to need passport-worthy photos of the girls before I can get you everything you need. Email me three photos of each of them just in case you mess up on any of them. Once I have the photos, it will be three or four days before they are finished, then another few days in the mail. Once you receive the paperwork, send an email to aussie_hunter@ausmail.com. After you've done that, I can sort out your airline tickets.

Oh, and in case you forget. Keep the girls secret and safe!

Cheers,

TheSlorg

I took a final look over the message and decided it would do, so I clicked on 'send' and hoped that this guy was the real deal. If I didn't get any photos within two days I would have to track this guy down for wasting my time and money. Then again, if he turned out to be legitimate, it would mean that I had managed to find a total of six Equestrians in less than one week. I briefly wondered what the odds of that were, but decided I would rather not know.

I turned to face Fluttershy. “Well, if this Fullmetal_Pony guy is who he says he is, then we might get to see the fillies in about a week.”

“Oh, I hope so,” she said. She was silent for a moment, then looked over at me again. “Do you think maybe you could try to find somepony else too? If it’s not a problem, that is.”

That likely wasn’t going to happen. Then again, why not give it a try? It was hard to say 'no' to Fluttershy, and she would appreciate the effort.

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll have a look in the chatroom. Just for you, okay?”

Fluttershy smiled sweetly and focused her attention on the screen. After a few moments, I was back in the chatroom.

[14:14] == TheSlorg has joined #fimfiction

14:14 Ya Rainbow Darsh is best pony

14:14 Lol can’t even spell it right. Junebug pwns Rainbow Dash.

14:14 You’re both wrong, Celestia & Pinkie are best ponies.

14:15 Hey guys. Brohoof, Yozzoy. Junebug is best. Though Pinkie and Fluttershy are growing on me.

14:15 Anything crazy happen while I was gone?

14:15 I didn’t say she was best pony. I just said she pwns Rainbow Dash.

14:15 Slorg you’ve been gone what, an hour or so? Of course crazy things have gone down.

14:15 >:(

14:15 Crazy? That would be an understatement... Also Yozzoy, shush. The fact is you said she “pwns” Rainbow Dash, so therefore, wouldn’t that mean she’s better than Rainbow Dash, thus being a best pony?

14:16 I love them ALLLLL!!!!

14:16 I haet you guyz

[14:16] == Rainbow_Dash_Lvr has quit

14:16 Damn fanboys...

Just as I suspected, this was getting me nowhere. I decided to stay in the chat for a little longer, for Fluttershy’s benefit. It had only been two minutes, after all.

14:16 Anyway... How about those pink skies, huh?

14:16 Old news, nobody cares. Back to ponies.

14:17 Actually, pink skies sounds like a nifty topic to be on. What ails you, Slorg?

14:17 It’s Slorg. You shouldn’t need to ask.

14:17 Hurr hurr, funny.

I decided to mention the fudge smell. It wasn't any weirder than what was usually discussed in the chatroom. I had told Fluttershy I would try to find somepony, and the smell was the only link I had between the pink sky and ponies.

14:17 The chocolate or fudge smell was weird, too.

14:17 ...Come again?

14:18 Somebody read my new fic pls.

14:18 It’s a Scootaloo x Featherweight ship

14:18 See? Slorg’s weird enough. Don’t encourage him.

14:18 ...I wonder that, Yozzoy.

14:18 Slorg, out of curiosity, when you smelled fudge, did anything happen to come into... possession?

14:18 Fudge. Lolol

Possession? Surely that didn't mean...

I set the keyboard down and stared at what DragonLS had written. It was beyond my ability to imagine that I would find another pony so soon after discovering the potential location of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. A possession could mean just about anything. However, I had known DragonLS for some time, and he didn’t seem to be the type to beat around the bush. Unless he knew something that needed to be kept quiet, that is.

“Oh, you couldn’t find anypony?” Fluttershy asked. She was looking at the keyboard. “I guess it was too much to hope for.” She sounded morose.

“Hm? Oh, actually... uh, let me get back to you.” I picked up the keyboard and began typing again.

14:20 Hey Dragon. Query incoming.

I opened up a query with DragonLS so we could chat privately.

14:20 Yes, the smell came with possessions. What do you know?

14:20 That depends. How do you know about the fudge smell?

14:20 Because I bloody well smelled it. I don’t know many other people who did, either.

14:21 Indeed... Some people I know didn’t smell fudge on the day when the pink skies showed up. I am guessing that if you were around a certain, well, circumstance, you’d smell it. Do you not agree?

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I blurted aloud. Fluttershy peered at me quizzically. I was prepared to say I had found another pony, but I stopped myself. It would do no good to get her hopes up just for them to be shattered, as they likely would be. There was no way I could have stumbled upon another one so soon. I began typing again.

14:21 I assume that circumstance requires some discretion, especially if we’re on the same page here.

14:21 To an extent, yes. But be it discreet or not discreet, it’s not like anyone would care.

14:21 They would just think you got some crazy information on the internet, and you would turn crazy yourself. At least, that’s what the public will think.

“Hey, look over here!’ Pinkie shouted from the hallway. Angel stood beside her. “Guess who can walk all by himself now?” She noticed the keyboard in my hands. “Ooh, are you hunting for more ponies?”

I didn't answer, and instead just looked at Pinkie, then Angel, and finally Fluttershy. If I was going to find out what I needed to know, I would need to throw caution to the wind.

14:22 Which pony did you find?

I hit enter and waited for the answer. I would either find out that I had found another pony beyond all odds, or I would have to explain away a short burst of insanity to a friend. Not much of an issue really, when I thought about it.

14:23 Bingo, looks like I found another one. I take it it was raining humans where you were?

“Son of a bitch!” I exclaimed for the second time that day. “We found another one!”

“Really!?” Pinkie asked as she and Angel came to sit on the chaise. I suddenly had the full attention of the Equestrians. “That internet thing must be really good at this. Who is it? Ooh, is it Rainbow Dash? Or maybe Rarity. They both like to show off, you know.”

“I don’t know yet, give me a moment,” I replied, then went back to typing.

14:24 Yes. Yes there were a few more humans in the area. Dragon, did you really find a pony? Human pony, or whatever?

14:24 Yes I have, in my backyard no less. I didn’t exactly see her pop out of the sky, but I assumed it was the case, given the circumstances.

14:24 It’s odd though. The fact we’re having this conversation is a bit unbelievable, tbh. I mean, pink skies and ponies from Equestria in the human world? It’s nuts.

Well, that was about as straightforward as it got. I definitely seemed to have tracked down another pony, and I had barely even been trying. DragonLS seemed to be reasonable, and was quiet about it until I had mentioned the fudge. Good. Unlike Fullmetal_Pony, DragonLS was being discreet.

But now I needed more information. It was time to just come right out with things.

14:25 Well, I didn’t believe anything until Pinkie chased me through the outback. Did you know her eyes really do turn red when you break a Pinkie Promise?

14:25 I’m aware, only from the wikipedia website, though. So, you have Pinkie Pie, huh? You have my sympathy. She must be hard to deal with.

14:25 You have no idea. She likes Coke, too. So who did you find?

14:25 Of all sugary things to give her... you gave her coke? Guess you should be lucky it wasn’t a Monster drink... God knows what would happen if she drank that.

14:26 Ah right, the pony I have... Well, what would your reaction be if a rainbow-haired Powerpuff Girl came into your possession?

14:27 You found Rainbow Dash? I guess Pinkie guessed correctly. Bloody hell, this is unbelievable. Seven ponies!

14:27 Seven? You’ve found more? Christ, how many showed up on Earth? Also, no, it’s not Rainbow Dash. Think for a moment: Who else has rainbow-like hair?

14:27 Well, I found Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel. I also think I may have found someone who has Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. So yours would be seven. Wait, six. Angel is a bunny.

14:27 Rainbow hair? I don’t know. Just tell me. Pinkie wants to know.

14:27 Fluttershy AND Angel!? Oh lord... why of all things does it have to be Angel...? He’d be better off as Rabbit Stew. Also, the CMC are here too? Geezus, I feel sorry for the guy who has them.

“He isn’t saying who he has,” I told the Equestrians. “He mentioned rainbow-hair, but said it wasn’t Rainbow Dash. Who else has rainbow-hair?”

“Um, well there’s Holly Dash,” Fluttershy suggested.

“Oh, give me that thing!” Pinkie shouted, grabbing the keyboard out of my hands.

“Hey!”

14:29 Hai tou, wjkhat ptniy did yoyu finds?

14:29 ...If my l33tineese isn’t rusty, I think you’re asking me what pony I found. Although why you’re asking me in that kind of speak, is beyond me.

“What does that say?” Pinkie said, pointing to the screen.

“Come on Pinkie, just let me do the talking. Typing, whatever,” I said.

14:30 Duid youtf sat Raonvow Dsashd?

“Pinkie!”

“Fine.”

I took the keyboard back and got to work.

14:30 Sorry, that was Pinkie. She’s getting impatient.

14:30 Ah, that explains it. Not a single pony can use a computer... But anyway, right, the pony. I guess this game of Guess Who has gone on long enough.

14:30 I have Princess Celestia.

“Princess Celestia!?” Pinkie and I shouted simultaneously.

“She doesn't have rainbow hair, it's pastel! Wait, you could read that?” I asked, turning to Pinkie.

“I told you I would figure it out! I just have to make my eyes all squinty like this,” she replied, squinting her eyes and giggling.

Fluttershy looked overjoyed. “Oh, the princess! Surely she will know how to get us back to Equestria,” she said.

14:31 You have the princess? Great! She can get the ponies back to Equestria.

14:32 ...Out of curiosity, does Fluttershy have her wings?

14:32 Well, no. Both girls have their cutie marks, though.

14:32 Celestia is under the same circumstance. No horn, no wings. That means no magic either.

“Damn it,” I muttered. “The princess lost her magic. She’s in the same boat you are.”

“You call this a boat?” Pinkie asked, looking down at the chaise she was sitting on.

I ignored Pinkie’s antics and the disappointed looks on Angel’s and Fluttershy’s faces, and bent back down to the keyboard.

14:32 How the heck are we going to get them back to Equestria without magic? Ugh.

14:32 Here’s an idea... use Pinkie’s 4th wall powers and hop into the television?

14:33 If only it were that easy. I don’t suppose the princess is awake right now? It’s night time where you’re at, isn’t it?

14:33 Past Midnight, yes. In Atlanta, Georgia. I don’t think I know where you are though.

14:33 Sydney. Look, if all goes well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders will be here in about a week. I’m not sure if I can afford to fly anyone else over here right now. We need to get the ponies together somehow, though.

14:33 Even if you wanted me to fly over there. I can’t, mostly for two reasons: One, I’m in college. And Two, Celestia doesn’t have any identification or passports. I assume that’s the same situation for you?

14:34 Well, not exactly. All six of the ponies I’ve found are being taken care of, so to speak.

I thought back to the earlier discount I had received from Moey. I didn’t want to think about what price he would demand from me after that fiasco, and especially not what we’d have to do to get another discount.

14:34 So to speak? What do you mean? Even if the ponies were to get the paperwork and such to obtain passports and such, it would take months. How are you even managing this in such a short amount of time?

Crap, let’s not get into this right now.

14:34 Uh. I know someone who can get me what I need. Let’s not talk about him right now, though.

14:34 In fact, it’s past lunch time and the girls are going to need something to eat. Angel too, of course. I should be going now.

14:34 Hmm... I still find it suspicious, but I guess it’s not my right to pry. Before you go, I’ll need some way to contact you, in case we need to talk again, update our statuses, and what not.

14:35 Sure, sounds good. Send me an email at aussie_hunter@ausmail.com. Send me a picture of Celestia, while you’re at it. I might be able to work something out for you as far as ID goes.

14:35 As far as ID...? Ahhh, I see now... connections, I take it?

14:35 Look at that, Pinkie has had a sudden craving for Coke. I’d better go fix that lunch now. Bye!

[14:35] == TheSlorg has quit

“I’m not craving Coke!” Pinkie shouted. “Oh wait, yes I am. Let’s go get some, we need to celebrate with a party! It will be the We-Just-Found-the-Cutie-Mark-Crusaders-and-Princess-Celestia-Using-the-Internet Party!”

I thought about it for a moment, then turned to Pinkie. "You know what? Sure, let's have a party." Her eyes lit up. "A little one, okay?"

Pinkie squealed and made some other unintelligble noises, then began bouncing on the chaise. I didn't mind. My three new room-mates were dealing with a very stressful situation. Anything I could do to help make them more comfortable in their new surroundings should help keep their morale high. The fact that Princess Celestia had lost her magic was not a good sign, as I had assumed she would possess the answers for how to return the Equestrians to their rightful home.

For now, all I could do was try to keep them happy.

The apartment was dark and, finally, quiet. I glanced at the wall clock and saw that it was almost nine. Pinkie, who was now lying unconscious on the chaise, had managed to keep the party going for nearly six hours. There had been balloons. Where she had found them, I would probably never know. There had been music. I even played a few pony songs on the computer, much to Pinkie's delight and Fluttershy's embarrassment. There had been games. I had brought out an old Candyland board game from my collection, which was a hit with the Equestrians. Pictionary was less successful due to their unfamiliarity with using hands to hold pencils. Pinkie had tried to draw using her mouth, but apparently it was difficult because of the differences in facial structure between humans and ponies. She still managed to draw a decent grizzly bear.

Angel yawned from his seat on the floor. Fluttershy soon followed suit, and then I yawned as well.

"I guess it's bed time," I whispered. Angel and Fluttershy nodded. "I'll take Pinkie into the bedroom. You girls can take the bed, Angel can have the chaise."

I bent down and carefully picked Pinkie up into my arms. She was a little heavier than Fluttershy was, but she was still surprisingly light. I was preparing to take her to the bedroom when I noticed Fluttershy blushing profusely.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I, um. I need to. Well, you see... " she stammered.

"Go ahead," I said encouragingly. "You don't need to be embarrassed around me."

"Well, I just... I sort of need to. Oh, where's the little filly's room?" she finally managed. The last few words were a mix between a whisper and a squeak.

"It's the door on the right," I said, indicating the hallway.

"Oh, thank you!" she called back as she walked to the door, opened it, and disappeared inside.

I stifled a chuckle and carried Pinkie into my bedroom, carefully placing her on the bed so as not to wake her up. It was a king-sized bed, so I doubted the girls would be uncomfortable. I pulled the covers over her, tucking her in, then walked quietly out of the room and closed the door. Angel was lying on the chaise and was already asleep. He must have crawled up onto it when I was tucking Pinkie in. I walked to the linen closet and grabbed a blanket for Angel and tucked him in as well.

What a day it has been, I thought as I leaned against the wall and watched Angel. I imagined what it would be like to meet the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Hopefully they were having fun and were being kept safe. What about meeting the princess? Would she expect to be bowed to? It would be polite, but she seemed to be too fair and kind to hold it against anyone if they didn't. Maybe.

My mind focused on Celestia. What was she? She was sometimes described as being a deity. Could that be possible? I recalled my earlier thoughts on science and religion and I sighed, sliding down the wall to sit upon the floor. Everything was wrong. What we knew of physics meant little if Pinkie Pie could defy gravity, among other things. Unicorns possessed magic, as well. Was it somehow based in science? If so, did it match our own understanding of the universe? What about God? I had never been very religious, but I had thought perhaps God might exist. If Celestia was basically a god, then what did that say about modern religion? The more I thought about it, the more lost I became. I looked down and noticed my hands were trembling.

Just then I heard a sobbing noise coming from the bathroom. I stood up and quickly rapped on the bathroom door, which gently swayed open when I knocked.

"Hey Fluttershy, is everything okay in there?" I asked. Hoping that I wasn't about to do something I would forever regret, I risked a peek inside.

Fluttershy was standing before the bathroom mirror, both hands resting on the sink. Her head hung low, her pink hair hiding her face. I took a step closer.

"Fluttershy? Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"I-I just... m-my... " She stopped to take a breath, then raised her head and looked into the mirror. She closed her eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry, it's nothing."

I came to stand behind Fluttershy and looked into the mirror as well. She glanced back up at her reflection, but tears welled up in her eyes and she looked away again.

"Oh Fluttershy," I whispered. The poor thing. "Is this really the first time you've seen what you look like?"

A nod. She continued to keep her eyes averted from the mirror, however.

"What about the bathroom at the camp?" I asked, remembering our first full day together. "I recall seeing a mirror in there when I, uh, helped you into the shower."

A sigh. "I never looked at it. I was too scared of what I might see." She sighed again. "It was the same with that little mirror in the car. I didn't look into it."

I was silent. It was difficult to tell what would be the right thing to do, but in the end I decided to remain silent and listen.

"I knew my ears were different," she continued. "I can't hear as well as I used to, and I've seen what yours look like. I just... I guess I wasn't prepared to look like this." Her voice broke as she spoke the last few words.

"Well, I guess we humans are a rather ugly lot, aren't we?" I said. Fluttershy jumped slightly at that.

"Oh no! That's not what I... I mean you're not... " She looked back up into the mirror and to my reflection as I began to laugh.

"It's okay," I soothed. "I understand what you mean."

"Oh, okay," she laughed nervously. She looked back to her own reflection. "I guess it's not so bad."

I gave her a small smile. "Well, for the record you look adorable as a human," I stated. Her cheeks reddened further and I decided to change the topic. "Shall I show you to the bedroom? It's been a long day."

Fluttershy nodded and returned my smile. "Thank you."

I led her to the bedroom and a noisily snoring Pinkie. After a few moments I had her tucked into bed, where she closed her eyes and was soon fast asleep.

As I walked back into the living room and searched the linen closet for a sleeping bag, I idly wondered how the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Princess Celestia were coping with the people who had found them. I set the sleeping bag on the floor and crawled inside of it. Were Twilight Sparkle and the others on Earth somewhere as well? Had they been discovered by good, honest people? I closed my eyes. As sleep began to overtake me, I hoped that any other ponies that had made it to Earth were safe and secure.

Australian Wild Life

Australian Wild Life
April 17th 2012

The apartment was still dark, but I could see the sun beginning to rise from the kitchen window. I opened a cabinet and removed a large frying pan, then quietly placed it upon the stovetop. A moment later I had retrieved a carton of eggs, a jug of milk, a few strips of bacon, some lettuce, a tomato, a cucumber, and some shredded cheese from the refrigerator. I cracked ten of the eggs into the pan, using a spatula to break the yolks, then added a small amount of milk and shredded cheese. I set the heat to medium, then turned my attention to the vegetables.

The lettuce was shredded and placed into a large bowl, then was topped with sliced tomato and cucumber. I put the remaining two eggs into a pot of boiling water and added some cheese to the salad. After a few minutes of careful turning with the spatula, and the addition of a little salt and onion powder, the cheesy scrambled eggs were finished and I pushed them to the side of the pan and added the bacon. It emitted a satisfying sizzle. After the boiled eggs were ready, I removed them and placed them on a wire rack to cool; they would be sliced and added to the salad later.

I was just adding bread to the toaster when a ruffled Angel shuffled into the kitchen, his nose pushed forward and sniffing rapidly. His strange black eyes located the food and widened with curiosity, then shifted to glance at me. I indicated the salad, then lifted the bag of cheese and raised an eyebrow. He moved closer and I offered him a small piece of cheese, which he accepted and put into his mouth. A moment later, his eyes lit up and he gave me a thumbs-up. I added a small amount of cheese to the salad, then served it up along with the scrambled eggs and a slice of toast onto four plates, adding the bacon to my own plate. Angel took two plates and set them on the dining table, while I took two to the bedroom for the girls.

Pinkie’s snoring had settled down to a quiet rumble, but Fluttershy slept without making a sound. The pony toys that represented their friends were lying in a row next to Pinkie, snuggled under the covers as if they were the real thing. It almost felt wrong to wake the girls, but I was saved the trouble when Fluttershy blinked open her eyes and looked up at me.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Are you feeling any better today?”

She smiled and nodded, then noticed the plates I was holding and maneuvered herself so that she was sitting up in bed. I handed a plate to her, which she accepted graciously, then turned to wake Pinkie only to discover that her eyes were already open as well.

“Oh my gosh, is that breakfast? But we can’t have breakfast, we’re still in bed. Wait a minute... ” Pinkie thought for a moment. “It’s breakfast... in bed!?” Her eyes lit up as I nodded. “Yay! Thank you, Captain!”

At that moment, Angel walked into the bedroom carrying my plate and wearing a scowl. He offered me the plate and crossed his arms while glaring at me.

“Ah, thank you Angel. Sorry, I guess we can eat in here instead of at the table,” I said. He threw his hands into the air and left to retrieve his plate. I turned to the girls. “So, what would you like to do today? We have a few days before we can do anything about the Cutie Mark Crusaders or Princess Celestia, so we may as well make the most of it.”

“We should have another party!” Pinkie shouted, showering bread crumbs onto her plate.

“We could... well, um. Whatever you want to do,” Fluttershy said, smiling weakly.

I thought about how Fluttershy had reacted to her reflection earlier as I ate my breakfast. She said she was feeling better, but she had been through a lot in a very short period of time. Since we had just had a party last night, I decided to find out what Fluttershy had in mind.

“Maybe we can have another party a little later,” I said. I focused on Fluttershy. “What would you like to do?”

Fluttershy froze in mid-chew, then she swallowed. “Who, me?” she asked, blinking. “Um, well. Maybe we could go and... oh, nevermind.”

“Come on, Fluttershy!” Pinkie encouraged. “What do you want to do?”

“Well,” Fluttershy began. “If it’s okay with you, and nobody wants to do anything else, maybe we can go see some more of the native fauna?”

I thought about it for a moment. “Well, I do have a few days left on my campsite registration,” I said. “We could head back to Burrinjuck for the day.”

“Burnt what?” Pinkie asked.

“Burrinjuck. It’s where I found you three,” I explained. “There is plenty of wildlife out there, and this time we can be a little more careful about the spiders.”

Pinkie picked up the Rarity toy. “Oh, spiders are so very dreadful. Not elegant or beautiful at all!” she said, imitating her unicorn friend’s voice before breaking into another fit of giggles.

With our day planned out, we finished our breakfast and began preparing for the trip. Angel washed the dishes while the girls and I prepared a picnic lunch and packed a few supplies such as more Coke, a pair of binoculars, and some additional fishing gear into the car. I wondered if ponies would mind the act of fishing, but neither of the girls commented so I supposed I was in the clear.

Once everything was packed into the car, I logged onto my computer and checked my email. Seeing nothing of interest, I logged off with a sigh. It was probably too early to expect a reply from Fullmetal_Pony or DragonLS. It would be the middle of the night in the United States right now anyway.

A few minutes later, I was ushering everyone out the front door and down the stairs toward the parking area. We were soon all in the car, buckled into our seats, and ready to leave. I put a CD into the player and hit the play button while the others got settled in.

“Let’s see if Equestria is ready for some Breaking Benjamin,” I said with a grin.

I started the engine, put the car in reverse, and backed out of my parking spot as the first few rifts began to play. We were soon back on the road and heading towards Burrinjuck Nature Reserve.

“So what do they put into Coke to make it so unbelievably yummy?” Pinkie asked. She was on her second Coke of the day, and we hadn’t even reached Yass yet. “It’s kind of like sarsaparilla, but even better!”

“Well, the flavor comes from kola nuts,” I explained. “But the large amounts of sugar and caffeine may have something to do with it too.”

Pinkie nodded and continued drinking. The drive had already been somewhat successful, as I had pulled the car over to the side of the road when the girls noticed some cows in a field we had been driving past. It had been a somewhat exciting experience at first, as this was the first time they had seen what cows on Earth were like. Pinkie, however, soon realized just how boring they were. Fluttershy found them to be cute, and managed to somehow persuade one to come stand by the gate to be petted, but she seemed confused at the fact that it could not speak when she tried to ask it if it enjoyed life on Earth. Angel merely shrugged and waited patiently for Fluttershy to finish.

We had also spied several varieties of birds that the Equestrians were unfamiliar with as we drove along the highway, but we did not stop the car again. Fluttershy had become noticeably excited when I explained that kangaroos were often seen at Burrinjuck Nature Reserve, and that they would occasionally allow you to hand-feed them if you had some of the special feed that the rangers used. I had been lucky enough to acquire some when I registered my campsite, but my discovery of the Equestrians had distracted me from using it. Even if we didn’t see any kangaroos this time, the possums and various birds in the area would probably come eat the feed if we tossed some onto the ground.

I took a moment to take in the sights around me. There weren’t many trees in the area, though there would be plenty more when we neared Burrinjuck. Instead, we were mostly surrounded by large, open fields of tall grass bordered by small shrubs and bushes by the side of the road. There were no other cars on the road for as far as we could see, and the sky was clear and blue; the perfect kind of day for a drive.

It was while I was admiring my surroundings when I thought I saw a small flash in the distance off the side of the road. I barely had time to ponder it before the largest dingo I had ever seen began to run across the highway directly in front of us. My foot hovered over the brake. I had been certain the dingo would clear the road with plenty of time to spare, but I was forced to slam my foot against the brake when it tripped over its front legs and landed snout-first on the pavement.

“Shit!” I yelled.

The girls both screamed as the car’s tires squealed in protest. It was too late to avoid the animal, but I attempted to steer around it anyway. It raised its head and calmly looked at the oncoming car with a look of resignation. Then a loud thump was heard moments before the car came to a complete stop. I wondered at the fact that I thought the animal had sighed as well, but I chalked that up to an overactive imagination due to the mild panic I was feeling. I had just hit an animal with my car while Fluttershy was a passenger, after all.

We all sat in silence as the reality of what had just occurred sank in. Angel placed a hand on Fluttershy’s shoulder, but she didn’t seem to notice; she was staring straight ahead without blinking. Pinkie was wisely being quiet for once, and was busy staring at the floor. I knew I couldn’t just drive off, so I pulled the car over to the side of the road.

“I’ll go check on it,” I said. “Just stay here.”

I got out of the car and was not surprised to see Fluttershy do the same. I would have rather spared her from the sight of what was probably a dead animal, but it would do no good to argue. We walked over to the prone form of the dingo together, where I bent down to examine it.

“Just keep your distance,” I warned Fluttershy. “Remember, animals aren’t as friendly here as they are in Equestria.” She nodded, but was otherwise silent.

To my surprise, I found the creature to still be alive. I wondered what the hell a dingo was doing this close to Sydney as I looked it over. Its eyes were shut and it was breathing in quick, shallow bursts. Thankfully it didn’t sound raspy, and a quick check of its ribs and abdomen showed no signs of broken bones or internal bleeding. The only real sign of damage I could find was that its tail was bent in several places.

I looked at Fluttershy and said, “I don’t understand, it looks fine to me. I can’t see any real injuries.” Standing up and looking over at the front of my car, I saw that it was barely damaged. “Maybe it just got knocked out. We’ll need to move it away from here before any more cars show up, though.” Having the animal unconscious would be good; we could move it without fear of getting bitten. I wasn’t looking forward to moving an injured an dangerous animal to the side of the road. Especially one this large, but Fluttershy was having a rough couple of days and I felt I owed her this much.

I knelt down beside the animal again and gently moved it into a better position so that I could lift it. It was huge for a dingo, at least twice the size of the largest one I had previously seen. The bugger was heavy too, but I was more concerned with moving it to safety without being bitten than I was with its abnormal size. I reached under its body and lifted with my knees. Bloody hell, was it heavy. I began moving towards the side of the road when it opened its eyes and stared at me.

Shit!

I half-dropped, half-threw the beast to the side of the road and took a step backward towards Fluttershy. She appeared beside me and observed the animal calmly. It almost looked as if the dingo was considering its next move, and I had a strange feeling that things were going to get weird soon.

“I thought you said animals weren’t sentient here on Earth.” Fluttershy said.

I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” I asked.

She walked towards the dingo and knelt down to playfully scratch behind one of its ears. “It’s okay,” she said soothingly. “Doug didn’t mean to hit you. Why don’t you tell me your name?”

My mind was caught halfway between preparing to save Fluttershy from a potentially dangerous animal or simply watching her as she consoled the wounded dingo. Suddenly, it either sneezed or it blew a very messy raspberry - I couldn’t tell which. Its tongue dangled out of its mouth as its eyes darted between Fluttershy and myself.

“What was that it just did now?” I asked Fluttershy. I had never seen an animal act in such a peculiar way. Could Fluttershy have retained some of her empathy with animals in the same way that Pinkie could still ignore the laws of physics? Was the dingo trying to communicate in some way?

“Aw, the poor thing is scared,” Fluttershy replied. She looked back down at the dingo. “It’s okay, we’ll make you all better.” The dingo looked up at Fluttershy, then glanced over towards where I was standing. I heard the car doors opening as Pinkie and Angel came out to investigate.

“Well, I guess you haven’t lost your touch at all,” I told Fluttershy. “It really does look like it knows what you’re saying.” I wondered at how this would have gone differently if Fluttershy wasn’t with us. Probably very poorly.

The dingo blinked, tilted its head to one side, and then nearly gave me a heart attack when it addressed me. “Excuse me, but did this pink-haired young woman just call you ‘Doug’?” it asked.

I stared at the animal for at least three full minutes as it bared its teeth in what might have been a broad smile and wagged its tail once. My grasp on the laws of what was possible had been fairly strained the past few days, but this was an entirely new and unexpected situation. It was difficult to wrap my mind around the concept that fictional ponies from another world or dimension could end up becoming trapped on Earth in human bodies. It dented my views on modern science and religion to think that such a thing was possible, and yet I had somehow managed to continue functioning at a reasonable level. Visitors from another world? Okay. Fiction becoming reality? I guess I can deal with that in small bursts. Pinkie destroying my concept of physics? Fine.

Talking animals? Not fine. Not fine at all.

To be fair; Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel were all technically talking animals. But they were from another world or dimension, and were currently in human bodies. For some reason, that made it more acceptable. Finding an ordinary, albeit very large, dingo in the middle of the highway, and having it ask me if my name was indeed Doug, was somehow much more difficult to simply roll with.

Fluttershy broke the silence. “Oh yes, this is my good friend Doug. I’m sure he would never mean to hit you on purpose,” she said, giving the animal a gentle hug.

The dingo sniffed. “Hmph, well he hasn’t said that he’s sorry!” it said indignantly, glaring in my direction.

I threw my hands into the air, turned, and walked away a few steps. Not only did I have to deal with a talking animal, but it also expected an apology. Thinking about it, the beast had a point, but I wasn’t quite ready for a situation like the one I was in. I took a seat on the pavement and leaned up against the car, then spoke to Pinkie.

“Tell the dingo I’m sorry, and get Fluttershy to convince it to leave or something,” I said quietly. Pinkie winked and skipped over to where Fluttershy was tending to the dingo.

“Hey dingo, Doug says he’s sorry!” she said loudly. “Oh, and he said you need to tell the dingo to go away,” she told Fluttershy without lowering her volume at all. So much for discretion.

The dingo frowned at me. “You know what, I don’t think he’s sincere at all,” it growled. “I finally decide to speak to one of you and it turns out nobody wants to listen. Well fine, whatever!” The animal squirmed out of Fluttershy’s grip and began to limp away, grunting and moaning in obviously exaggerated pain with each step. I stared after it in disbelief for a moment before making a decision I would likely regret.

“Fine! I’m sorry we hit you,” I called out. “You just kind of tripped in the middle of the road, and I couldn’t swerve in time to avoid you.” Why was I even talking to this thing? Well, maybe it was really another pony from Equestria or something. Perhaps they had been turned into more than just humans. I took a deep breath and continued. “Are you okay? Come on back here.”

The dingo craned its neck to look back at me. After a moment it walked back towards us, forgetting to limp this time, but still moving slowly. “So, you are called Doug, right?” it asked.

Well, at least it wasn’t aggressive. I decided it wouldn’t hurt to answer its question. “Yes,” I replied. “My name is Doug.”

“Hi, I’m Pinkie!” Pinkie exclaimed, kneeling down beside the dingo and smiling. “This here is Fluttershy, and the white-haired one is Angel. Welcome to Earth! We’re going to become the best of friends!”

Everything was silent for the next thirty seconds or so. No cars drove past, no birds called out, and nobody spoke another word. The dingo and I were both staring at Pinkie with wide eyes. How was I going to keep the Equestrian’s identities a secret if she always greeted strangers in this way? I could only imagine what the dingo was thinking. Eventually, it seemed to remember that it had just been spoken to.

“Okaaay nice to meet you, strange person who I absolutely have never heard of before in any way ever,” it said to Pinkie. It then looked back over to me. “So... I have finally found you then! You have no idea how long I have been searching for you!”

What?

I wasn’t expecting to have anyone, or anything, looking for me for any reason. Much less a talking wild dog of Australia.

“Well, how long have you been searching for me, and why?” I asked. Angel pulled a pocket watch out from somewhere and gave it a look. Then, apparently having seen enough, opened the car door and climbed back into the car to wait.

The dingo ignored the impatient former bunny and thought for a moment before answering. “Well, gee,” it began, “it hasn’t been all that... wait. You really don’t know?” The animal seemed to gasp. “You mean to say you don’t remember me?”

“Uh,” I said as I looked back and forth between the dingo, Pinkie, and Fluttershy. “No, I guess I don’t?” It came out as a question.

The dingo buried its nose between its front paws. “Oh no,” it said miserably. “Oh, this is not good at all... ”

I stood up and moved closer to where the animal was lying. As strange and fascinating as this was, it wouldn’t be long before some random passerby in a car noticed me talking to a large dingo with two pink-haired women and stopped to ask questions. We needed to get to the point.

“Okay, so I don’t remember you,” I admitted. The dingo groaned, but I continued. “But you can still tell me why you were looking for me.”

The animal sighed and looked up at me. “Well, this is going to be really hard to explain, Dougery... “ it started.

Dougery? I thought.

“... but this isn’t really your world. You don’t belong here.” it stated.

“Um, I thought you said you were born on Earth,” Fluttershy said to me quizzically. Pinkie was looking between the dingo and myself while biting her lower lip. I was simply stunned.

“I... I was,” I said confidently. “I have the baby pictures to prove it.” I turned to the dingo. “What do you mean?”

“Winter has come!” the dingo said suddenly. “Winterfell is being overrun! Don’t you remember? Only a Stark can fight and hold off the Others, but they have all fallen!” The dingo’s eyes seemed to bore into me. “All but one. The last remaining Stark: Dougery Stark.” It stood up and moved closer. “I’ve come to take you home.”

For the third time since meeting the dingo, I found myself at a loss for words. Winterfell? The Starks? I had memories of my childhood. Common sense was telling me that none of this could be true. However, the realities of what could be true or not had shifted dramatically when I met the Equestrians. Perhaps I had been correct. Perhaps all works of fiction were actually alternate realities that could be accessed through magic or science. It seemed strange that I was meeting fictional characters that I was familiar with, but upon further thought, perhaps everyone I had met was a work of fiction that I was unfamiliar with.

I blinked when I realized everyone was looking at me, waiting for some kind of answer or acknowledgement. Was this what it felt like to be insane? To believe in things that weren’t real, and to think I could achieve things that were impossible? This was the sort of thing I had never really worried about. I was the kind of guy who took things as they came, and dealt with the present as opposed to worrying about the past or the future. If something strange happened, it happened. No use wondering why or how.

But all of that was beginning to change. I looked to the dingo and thought about my answer for a few moments before finally giving it.

“I... can’t go home just yet,” I said. The dingo bared its teeth, though it did not growl. “Listen, if I really am a Stark, then I can’t go back right now. I need to take care of these young women and escort them back to their own world. They, too, don’t belong here.”

I wasn’t entirely certain if I believed what the animal had told me, but I was open to any kind of possibilities. Regardless, I had promised to get the Equestrians back to their home, and I couldn’t afford to take on any new quests from other alternate realities until this one was completed. One thing at a time, I reminded myself. The girls were silently listening to the conversation with unreadable expressions on their faces.

The dingo cocked its head to the side. “Okay then,” it said, trotting towards my car. “I’ll just chill with you guys until you can get that sorted out.” It stopped near the rear door and looked back expectantly.

“What?” I blurted. “No... no no no! I can’t take in any more visitors from other worlds or dimensions, and I surely can’t... “ I stopped in mid-sentence as I realized something. “Wait, what did you just say?” I asked the dingo.

The animal rolled its eyes. “I said I’ll just chill with you guys and... “ it stopped as it noticed the look on my face. It bared its teeth again in what I guessed was a grin. “Uh, you know. Chill. You’re a Stark, I thought you’d appreciate the pun!”

My brow furrowed into a frown as I stood up to my full height and crossed my arms. Pinkie and Fluttershy, sensing trouble, backed away from the animal. “I may not be a Stark,” I growled, “but even I know that they don’t use the term ‘chill’ in that manner. Who are you really?”

The dingo blinked. “Oh... oh! Wait, you’re not the last Stark! I was confused by that amazing beard of yours, and... “ it stopped when it noticed my look of impatience. “Oh... oh come on!” It bared its teeth again. “Can’t we just forget about this and maybe enjoy a few cold Cokes together?”

“Yes!” Pinkie squealed.

“No!” I bellowed. The dingo and I frowned and glared at each other.

Fluttershy squeaked and dragged Pinkie back into the car with her with amazing speed. Once they were both safely in the car, they appeared at the windows to peek and observe what was going on.

“Last chance,” I growled. “Who are you, really?”

The dingo looked away and seemed to pout. “Bah! Fine, the name’s Ashton,” it said, finally. “Nice to meet ya, Doug.”

I knelt down beside the dingo and met its eye. “So, Ashton. Were you always a talking dingo?” I asked.

The dingo glared at me. “Oh gee, I wish! It’s just so fun getting run over by crazy Australians. We’re in Australia, right? Anyways, no. I’ve only been a dingo for ten, maybe fifteen minutes.”

For some reason I was beginning to regret not blindly believing I was a Stark, if only to see where this... thing would take me. Now I had to deal with someone, or something, that had apparently turned into a dingo somehow. If that wasn’t a lie as well.

“Right. Yes, we’re in Australia. No, I probably won’t believe anything you tell me anymore,” I said. The dingo, or Ashton, began humming “Land Down Under” by Men At Work. “But, seeing as you’re the only talking animal other than a bird that I’ve met, I’m willing to hear your story. Just don’t lie to me again, or else.”

Ashton the dingo rolled his eyes again. “Yeah, yeah. I won’t lie to you again,” it said. “I think we’re even now for the whole You-Running-Me-Over-Like-a-Madman tidbit, anyway.”

I frowned. “Wait, so you just made that up to get back at me for hitting you?” Rage began to build up from within, but I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. Fair enough, it got its revenge. At least it hadn’t bitten anyone.

Ashton bared his teeth again. “Yes, that’s all me! I did that.” He seemed to chuckle. “Also, I’m pretty jealous that you found Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. You lucky dog.”

I looked at the car and the Equestrians inside of it. “Yeah, about them,” I said. “I don’t know who you are, other than someone or something that was turned into a dingo, but I think it would be best to forget you ever saw them.” I made sure I caught Ashton’s eye. “Understand?”

“Yeah, yeah. We’re kind of in the same boat, dude,” Ashton replied. “How do you think I got turned into a dingo in the first place?”

“Well, with all that has happened lately, I suppose it could be any number of things,” I admitted. “Were you a human before this happened?”

“Yes,” Ashton said. “I was in America, too. Wait, this seems a little weird. Do we have to discuss this on the side of the road?”

The pot had just called the kettle black. We did need to get off the road, as a few cars passed by now and then, but I wasn’t letting some strange were-dingo into my car without knowing a little more about him. Besides that, he might not even need my help anyway. My previous thoughts remained: I couldn’t really get involved in anything else until I managed to return the Equestrians to their rightful home. For some reason, fate or the universe had decided I was the one to come to when strange things happened.

Ashton was looking at me expectantly. The Equestrians were watching expectantly. It was time to make a decision.

“Fine,” I said, opening the rear car door. “Hop in and we can discuss this on the way to my camp.”

“Thanks!” Ashton said, his tail wagging. He waited for Angel to scoot towards the middle of the seat before hopping in.

I sighed and looked into the sky before getting into the car. God, Celestia, fate... whichever of you is doing this to me, just knock it off already, okay? I thought. I climbed into the car and looked at Ashton through the rearview mirror.

“Oh, and Ashton?” I said.

The dingo returned my look. “Yeah, yeah. As if I would ever do anything to Pinkie or Fluttershy. Sheesh!” He seemed to shrug. “Anyhow, I like small, furry animals. I love cupcakes, and rabbits are okay, I guess.”

I smiled. It looked like the newcomer caught on quickly. After ensuring everyone was buckled in, including Ashton with some difficulty, I put the car in drive and we were soon speeding along the Hume highway towards Burrinjuck Nature Reserve and, hopefully, some answers.

The Opposite of Harmony

The Opposite of Harmony
April 17th 2012

The white Holden Barina came to a stop on the flattened dirt parking spot in front of my camp site. As I unbuckled myself and stepped out of the car, I thought about recent events. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were real. Although it had been four days since I met the girls, it was still quite difficult to accept or believe that they truly were who they claimed to be. The saying goes that you have to see things with your own eyes, and the things I’ve seen over the past few days have been more than enough to confirm that everything I thought I knew about the universe was now in question.

The recent arrival of Angel only reinforced the fact that these people were indeed living, breathing individuals who had only existed, at least in my mind, as fictional characters a few days ago. Learning of their existence was only the beginning; I also needed to cope with the reactions the Equestrians were having with their new bodies and surroundings. Fluttershy and Angel had both had difficulty walking on human legs, and Fluttershy’s reaction when she found out what she looked like was something I wasn’t prepared for. Pinkie seemed to be handling her new body just fine, but she was also capable of breaking the laws of physics and seemed to require a constant intake of sugar to avoid a meltdown. I had no intention of finding out how she acted when deprived of it.

To top it all off, I had just allowed a talking dingo into my car for some reason. It sneezed just then as it hopped out of the car and looked around the campsite. Talking ponies being turned into humans had been difficult enough to accept, but I had been taking it one moment at a time. A human being having been turned into a talking dingo was somehow more difficult to accept, though I didn’t understand why. Why did I allow it into my car in the first place? I had no reason to trust its word, especially when it lied to me right from the start. I also had no real reason to help it out. Then again, the same could have been said for the girls and Angel. I hadn’t believed what they told me, and I really had no reason to help them until I learned who they really were. Perhaps it was just a part of my nature that I didn’t realize until now, but I felt compelled to listen to what it had to say and maybe lend some assistance if necessary. I had a feeling that this kind of generosity would likely get me into trouble someday.

The dingo, Ashton, leaned forward onto his front paws and stretched his back. “Is this really Australia?” he asked, looking around. “Nothing has tried to kill me for a good fifteen minutes now. Not since you ran me over, anyway.”

I glanced towards Ashton and hoped this conversation would be worthwhile. “Yes, this is Australia. Burrinjuck Nature Reserve, to be exact. We’re fairly close to Canberra.” I wondered if Ashton had even heard of Canberra before.

“Wow, you answered that quicker than I thought you would,” Ashton said, seeming to be pleasantly surprised. “Mind telling me the date as well?”

Date? Was this guy pretending to be Dr. Hooves now? I turned to Angel and the girls. “Hey, I’m going to have a chat with Ashton alone for a bit. Are you going to be alright by yourselves for a few minutes?”

“Sure thing, Captain!” Pinkie gave a mock salute and grabbed Fluttershy’s arm. “Come on, let’s go see what’s over there!” she exclaimed, pointing towards the kitchen facilities and practically dragging her away. Angel followed close behind.

My gaze fell back upon the dingo. “Date huh? It’s the seventeenth of April. Just what happened to you that caused you to end up as an animal that doesn’t know where he is or what the date is?” I asked.

Ashton turned his head slightly before answering. “Well I... wait,” he began. His eyes seemed to lose focus and drifted away from mine as his mouth hung open in mid-thought. “Australia isn’t uh... it’s not four days behind America is it? Time zones and all that?” he asked, his eye twitching slightly.

“Follow me,” I said, then began walking down towards the lake. The reactions the dingo, Ashton, were giving suggested that he may not even realize the entirety of what had happened to him. I stopped and looked back at him. “You coming?”

Ashton looked from me to the lake, then ran quickly past me and jumped in, despite the long drop to the water below. He yelled out on the way down, and I was beginning to think I had just witnessed the animal commit suicide when I arrived at the edge of the cliff and saw him come to the surface alive and unharmed. He looked up at me.

“Sorry, I haven’t had a bath in... wait, this water doesn’t have spider piranhas in it, does it?” he asked, looking around nervously.

I began climbing down the embankment. “Nah mate,” I called out. “There might be a few snakes, but nothing that’ll kill you in under an hour.” I reached the bottom and knelt down by the water’s edge. “Just holler if you feel something bite you.”

Ashton seemed to tense up for a moment, but then relaxed. Maybe he thought I was joking about the snakes. “So, uh... Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie then?” he asked as he tried to scrub his body with his paws.

“Yeah that’s them, I think. Angel, too. I thought they were just weird pony fans until I broke a Pinkie promise,” I admitted. “You still haven’t told me how you ended up like this.”

Ashton stopped scrubbing and looked directly at me. “Look, I really don’t want to talk about that right now. Let’s just say that I said something monumentally stupid,” he said in a serious tone. Then his eyes widened. “Wait, you broke a Pinkie promise?”

“Yeah, and it’s something I don’t recommend doing, either. Have you ever seen someone’s eyes change color as they’re surrounded by an aura of pure rage? It’s not something I want to experience again.” I picked up a stone and tossed it into the lake. “So, who did you find?” I asked.

Ashton’s ears perked up and he stared at me for a moment, then he swam back to shore and lied down nearby. “So you really don’t know, Doug?” he asked curiously.

I sighed and leaned back against a rock. “Well based off what the girls have told me, I have my suspicions,” I said, then looked over at Ashton. “How did you get away?”

“Get away from who?” Ashton asked. He clearly did not want to talk about it, but I wanted to confirm my suspicions. For all I knew, he might have found Trixie or even Twilight. I tried to imagine anyone infuriating Twilight Sparkle enough for her to turn them into a dingo. Did she even know transfiguration spells? I couldn’t remember.

“Well, I suppose with all the ponies basically falling into my lap, I’ll discover who you found sooner or later anyway,” I commented. It seemed to only be a matter of time before I had to build a stable for all the ponies I kept finding. Or at least find a bigger apartment.

Ashton squinted his eyes at me. “So you really don’t know, even when it’s so glaringly obvious?” he asked.

I was beginning to get frustrated. All signs were pointing to Discord, but there was a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that said I was wrong in my assumption. I just wanted to get a confirmation from Ashton, but he just wouldn’t come out and say who he had found. I sighed before answering, “No clue.” If he didn’t want to talk, neither would I. “I guess you don’t want to hear about all the other ponies I’ve found. Oh well.”

Ashton seemed to be getting flustered as well. “Not even a guess?” he asked, prodding.

“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, standing up and pacing. “Maybe you found Ned Stark!” I threw my hands into the air and began to climb back up the embankment. “Or maybe it was Fred Flintstone, and I’m supposed to be the long, lost heir to the Flintstone empire!”

“Hey, I’m being serious here, Doug!” Ashton called up to me. “You said you had suspicions. Who do you suspect I found?” He walked up to the bottom of the embankment and put his front paws upon the steep slope.

Fine. Let’s humor the bloody dingo. “You know who I think you found. It’s that one guy.” Why couldn’t I think of his name now? “The one that causes, you know... things.” Bloody hell, what kind of sadistic trick was this? Discord! I want to say Discord. “The bloody thing that does that stuff... oh bugger it all!” Something strange was going on. Why couldn’t I just say what I wanted to say? It had to be magic or something similar. It was all obvious now, and my suspicions were confirmed.

Ashton had found... somebody.

The dingo laughed out loud. “Ha, I knew it!” he exclaimed, his tail wagging.

So Ashton had found someone who, for some magical reason, I could not think of now. It seemed that as soon as I confirmed who I thought it was, I’d lost all memory of whoever it was that I had been thinking about. It all made perfect sense, and yet I couldn’t remember who it was that Ashton had found. I glared down at the dingo.

“Damn it, you know who it is that I think you found! Why can’t I think of the name?”

Ashton seemed delighted, as if he had just confirmed something himself. “Ha, don’t you see?” he said between chuckles. “It’s all in the name!”

All in the name? I pondered what it meant. Riddles and problem-solving were one of my biggest strengths mentally. If it’s all in the name, then the answer to everything involves the name itself. I couldn’t think of the name of whoever Ashton had found. He also refused to say the name of whoever he had found. I knew that whoever Ashton had found was bad news, but I wasn’t going to be able to remember who it was unless...

“You have to tell me the name of who you found, or I’ll never be able to figure it out, regardless of how obvious it is!” I exclaimed just as Ashton decided to explain.

“It’s why I didn’t realize you had found Pinkie or Fluttershy until they said their names, even though I was staring them right in the face!” he exclaimed. “It was the same way for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

I looked down at the mention of the Crusaders. “Wait, what did you say?” I asked. “You’re Fullmetal_Pony? That doesn’t seem right, he seemed to be a little more... stable. And how would the Crusaders turn you into a dingo?”

Ashton’s ears perked up again. “Fullmetal_Pony? Wasn’t he the guy who wrote that one fanfic?” he asked. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that did happen to him. Would serve him right.”

What?

“How do you know Fullmetal_Pony?” I asked. “And how did you come across him and the Crusaders?”

Ashton glared at the ground. “Well, he hit me with a shower stand and tied me up...”

It was hard to imagine that happening. Fullmetal_Pony had seemed somewhat reasonable, though he had to learn to keep quiet. I was still awaiting a reply from him and DragonLS concerning the Crusaders and Princess Celestia. Did Ashton know about the princess, too?

“I suppose the royal princesses beat you with candy canes, too?” I grumbled. Time to see if he took the bait.

“No, John was the only one to hit me,” Ashton mused. “Wait, did you find the princesses?” he asked, tilting his head.

It looked like I had information that Ashton didn’t. Good. I didn’t like being at a disadvantage.

“Oh yes,” I lied. “Both of them, and several other ponies, too. I just can’t seem to remember their locations though. Maybe it’d come back to me if a certain dingo would stop being mysterious and just tell me who he found?”

Ashton rolled his eyes. “Knowing my luck, they’ll find me at breakfast tomorrow. Ashton, the sentient toaster!” he said dejectedly. He looked up. “Fine, I’ll tell you who I found. It was Tom.”

“Tom? Rarity’s boulder, Tom?” I asked incredulously. Something wasn’t right here. Somehow, I knew Ashton wasn’t lying. But he wasn’t telling the entire truth, either. How was Tom real? How did that even work?

“That’s the one!” Ashton said, baring his teeth in a caricature of a smile. “Oh, didn’t I mention that I found two Equestrians?”

How aggravating. “Did I mention that I’ve found seven?” I grinned. Two could play at this game.

“Yeah. You found Pinkie, Fluttershy, Angel, the three Cutie Mark Crusaders, and the two princesses. Wait, that’s eight! You said you found seven; you didn’t find the two princesses?” It was Ashton’s turn to look confused.

“Oh, sorry mate. I must not have spoken the entire truth. Frustrating, isn’t it?” I said. I needed to wrap this up before Pinkie found something she shouldn’t be getting into. “You can either tell me who you found, or keep it a secret. But don’t expect anyone to offer you any help by remaining mysterious.”

“It’s for your own good, really,” Ashton said. He tried to climb up the embankment, but slid back down. “It’s best that I don’t say his name.”

His name. I knew who it was, yet I couldn’t focus enough to figure it out entirely. Perhaps the dingo was right, and I was better off not learning the entire truth just now. Particularly if the one he found could turn people into animals.

I slid back down the embankment and helped Ashton climb to the top, then pulled myself up and over onto the edge. It was clear what needed to be done.

“Hey,” Ashton said suddenly. “Do you think becoming a dingo makes me a furry?”

“Only if you go mate with another one,” I replied. “Look, you want to keep your secrets, that’s fine. I can actually respect someone who knows how to keep their mouth shut about our situation. But this is where we part ways. I have an obligation to get these three, and any other Equestrians I stumble across, back to their rightful home. I can’t trust anyone who isn’t willing to cooperate.”

Ashton’s ears lowered as he listened to what I was saying. “Wait,” he said, distraught. “You’re just going to leave me to fend for myself in the Australian wilderness?” he asked, sitting down. His eyes were large and the last word came out as a whine.

I crossed my arms, but let out a small sigh. “No, mate. Whoever did this to you is the one leaving you to fend for yourself in the Australian wilderness. If you ever want to be free of him, you might want to consider someday telling me his name.” I then turned and walked toward the kitchen facilities in the distance, where I could just make out Pinkie sitting at a table surrounded by Coke cans. So much for having something to drink on the drive home.

Ashton trailed behind me. “Please, you don’t need to know the name!” he called out. “The last person I told his name to got hurt really badly.”

I continued walking. “And did you help this person out, or did you leave that person to fend for themselves?” I asked. Pinkie noticed me approaching and waved. Fluttershy and Angel were each nibbling on something. I hoped they had retrieved snacks from the car as opposed to finding something in one of the kitchen refrigerators.

The dingo stopped for a moment. “Well, when I got zapped into a dingo and sent here, the character I found was nursing a serious wound to his manhood.” He let out a small cackle similar to that of a hyena.

So Ashton cared a little, perhaps. It still didn’t mean I trusted him enough to take him with me. He had said that someone had gotten hurt badly after whoever he found had shown up. He had also mentioned the Cutie Mark Crusaders...

“Hey!” I said, stopping suddenly. “Just how long ago was it when you ran into Fullmetal_Pony and the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” I asked.

Ashton stopped and thought for a moment. “An hour or so ago, I guess. After John took that awful tumble down the stairs and Apple Bloom bucked Discord right in the b-”

“Discord!” I yelled. All the puzzle pieces that hadn’t fit in the way that they should have suddenly slid into place. The name that Ashton had refused to say, the one he had found. I knew it all along, and yet it hadn’t actually come to me until that very moment.

“Oh balls,” Ashton muttered, then put this front paws over his mouth. He tucked his tail down between his legs and his eyes squinted shut.

I looked back over to the kitchen facility and saw Angel and the girls making their way towards us, oblivious to what I had just discovered, and I suddenly realized why Ashton was so reluctant to say Discord’s name as a sense of dread passed over me. I looked back down to Ashton, who was gnashing his teeth and seemed to be trying to bury his head under some rocks. He suddenly stopped and blinked.

“Wait, where is he?” he asked, looking around in confusion. A few moments later he seemed to relax and stood up. “That’s strange, he usually... OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?” he screamed, scrambling to hide behind me.

There seemed to be nothing at first, but then a low rumble could easily be heard somewhere in the forest. It began to grow louder, and was accompanied by the crashing sounds of small trees falling over as whatever was making the noise came closer. A quick glance back at the Equestrians confirmed that they heard it as well, as they had all frozen and were listening intently. Before I could decide on whether to settle on the fight or the flight response, a large plaid Humvee with impossibly small tires burst into sight, toppling another small tree in its path. The vehicle skidded to a halt in front of us, sliding sideways until the driver’s side door was facing us. A moment later, the door opened and a man wearing samurai armor adorned with pink Hello Kitty stickers stepped out from the vehicle. He took a step towards us and lifted his samurai mask, revealing a gaunt face that looked entirely too familiar somehow.

“Well hello, Ashton!” the man yelled cheerfully over the rumbling. “A little hot under the collar?”

Tonight, We Dine... in Australia!

Tonight, We Dine... in Australia!
April 17th 2012

Of all the things I had seen in my thirty-two years of life, the man who stepped out of the plaid Humvee was by far one of the strangest. As he approached, I noticed that the samurai armor he was wearing wasn’t actually real armor at all. It was a greyish papier mache creation that had been folded expertly, and fitted the man well enough that it had fooled me from a distance. It seemed to be held together by the Hello Kitty stickers at the joints, creating a gaudy, yet impressive, masterpiece.

The man was tall, too. I stood a good one hundred ninety six centimeters; or six feet, four inches tall. This man towered over me regardless, and could have passed for an NBA player if he wasn’t so... gangly. His eyes were two different colors - red and purple, his pointed white beard looked almost goat-like, and a snaggle-tooth topped it all off. It was strange once I thought about it, but Discord looked almost identical to his draconequus form despite being human. His smile did not touch his eyes as he addressed the cowering dingo behind me.

“Still making assumptions then, are we, Ashton?” the man asked with a hint of disappointment. “Well, I suppose I never was the best teacher,” he added dolefully.

“Bark!” Ashton yelled. I looked down at him and raised an eyebrow. “Er, I mean...” he said lamely. Looking around frantically, he cleared his throat and actually barked. Seeing that this didn’t impress anyone, he proceeded to roll around on the ground like an actual dingo would, but soon realized that his charade wasn’t working. His idea of a change in tactics was to pretend to chase his own tail.

I looked back at Discord and met his gaze for a moment before raising an eyebrow again and shaking my head slowly. Discord shook his head slightly as well, confirming that he, too, felt that it was a painfully poor attempt at fooling him. His demeanor suddenly changed as he folded his arms across his chest and spoke two words to the dingo.

“Fluffy ponies.”

Ashton stopped suddenly and let his tail fall out of his mouth with a moan. The fur on his back raised on end as he gave a slight shudder, then he sighed and lifted his head slowly to look up at Discord.

“I thought we agreed not to speak of that,” he said bitterly.

I was fairly certain that I didn’t want to know what ‘fluffy ponies’ meant, especially if it affected someone as odd as Ashton in such a way. I looked back over my shoulder and saw that Pinkie and Angel were still staring in open-mouthed wonder at Discord and his Humvee. Fluttershy was cowering behind Pinkie, her head peeking out to observe, but otherwise she seemed to be fine. It was as good a time as any to speak.

“Nice armor, mate. Did you make that yourself?” I asked Discord. Of all the things I could have said to Discord, the living incarnation of chaos, that was all I could think of at the time. It was as good an opening as any.

Discord shrugged. “Eh, it came with the car,” he stated nonchalantly. His eyes seemed to size me up for a moment. “And you are...?”

I glanced down at Ashton before answering, hoping for some kind of hint or clue as to what I should or shouldn’t say. He just tilted his head and seemed to try to shrug, but only managed to lift a paw before losing his balance and steadying himself again.

It couldn’t hurt to be honest, I thought. “Well, my name is Doug,” I replied, uncertain as to whether I should let on that I knew who Discord was. My heart was racing, but I tried not to let it show. It would probably be much safer to remain below Discord’s notice, if possible.

Discord gave a slight smile. “Earth has some wonderfully peculiar names, does it not?” he asked, bemused. I simply gave a small smile in return, hoping he’d lose interest in me soon.

“Come on, Fluttershy!” Pinkie’s voice called out from behind me. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Besides, I really want to get a closer look at that humongous car-thing that the other human just arrived in! Doesn’t it just look amazing?”

“Um, no thank you,” Fluttershy squeaked as she struggled to keep from being pulled closer. “It did just kill all those trees, you know...”

Pinkie stopped for a moment to consider that. I could almost hear the thought processes in her brain. On one hoof, you have a fantastic new device to examine and possibly play with. On the other hoof, it’s capable of destroying trees with little or no effort and might be more trouble than it’s worth. She was still contemplating this when Discord perked his head up.

“Flutter...” he began, thinking. “Did she just call that girl Flu-”

“Yes!” Ashton yelped, jumping up and running to stand between Discord and the Equestrians. “Yes indeed, Disco. She totally just said Fluttery Shies. Yes, the Fluttery Shies. She’s a celebrity here on Earth, you know. Irish folk singer extraordinaire!” He glanced back towards me, and I understood. He didn’t want me to say their names in front of Discord. Unfortunately, the Equestrians didn’t know that.

“What are you talking about?” Pinkie said with a giggle. “That’s not her name, silly. It’s Fl-mmph!” I cut her off with a hug, placing my hand over her mouth as I did. I ignored her look of shock and risked a glance over my shoulder. Thankfully, it seemed that nobody had noticed what she said.

Discord had reared back at the name ‘Disco,’ and was busy glaring dangerously at Ashton. “Who told you that name?” he bellowed scornfully.

While Discord was distracted, I used that moment to turn back around, let go of Pinkie, and get the attention of the other Equestrians. I hoped that ponies were familiar with putting one’s finger to their lips to signal someone to be quiet. Ponies didn’t have fingers, of course, but perhaps they put a hoof up or something. I couldn’t remember if I had seen that in the show before or not, but I was rewarded for my efforts when the three Equestrians became silent, though not without some confused glances at one another.

When I turned back around, Discord was blowing on a dog whistle that he had retrieved from somewhere. Although I couldn’t hear it, Ashton seemed to be in agony as he cringed back from the sound. I never knew you could punish a dog with a whistle, but this was Discord, after all. Anything was possible. He would give the whistle a few notes, then dance a little jig for a few seconds before blowing on it again. I might have laughed if I didn’t know how dangerous he could be.

“Well, yes,” I began, hoping to spare Ashton from whatever torture he was enduring. “This was a great show of, uh, randomness. Quite impressive, mate. I should probably get going though. I have, uh, business to attend to.” I looked down at Ashton and gave a small shrug as if to say “What am I supposed to do about this?” His eyes widened before his expression changed to one of indignation.

“Well... you know, it’s almost time for lunch...” he said, looking up at me and... was he grinning? Smirking? Whatever it was, it didn’t bode well for me.

Discord stopped examining his dog whistle and looked down at Ashton, then back up at his surroundings. He put a hand up to shield his eyes from the sun before seeming to realize for the first time that he was standing in the middle of a forest.

“A picnic? Oh how delightful! Thank goodness I came prepared!” he exclaimed, suddenly jovial as he turned on his heels and walked straight back to the Humvee.

Ashton stood up, his tail wagging. “Ha!” he barked. “Thought you could leave me like John did, huh? Fat chance!”

Bloody hell. Was Ashton really expecting me to sit down and have a picnic lunch with the embodiment of chaos? I’d taken the trip to Burrinjuck to cheer Fluttershy up, not to adopt a talking dingo and his demented god of an owner. The whole dingo thing was starting to bother me, too. Maybe I could get out of this if I played things the right way. Maybe I could trick Discord into turning Ashton into a human again. Say he looked uglier as a human or something. Or perhaps get Discord to say his name so the Equestrians would finally understand why I wanted them to remain silent.

“So, mister uh...” I called out to Discord. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t catch your name? Anyway, what stupidity did Ashton get up to in order to deserve this?” I gestured toward the dingo as Discord glanced back over his shoulder.

Discord stood up and turned completely around to look me in the eye. “He did what you are trying to do, Dougie my boy!” he said with a glint in his eyes. “He had the gall to assume that he could predict chaos!” The Humvee suddenly emitted a ding and he turned back around. “That’s the pie!”

Crikey, he's on to me. Don't. Piss. Discord. Off. Think, ya wanker!

“Running didn’t help John,” Ashton murmured from his spot by my feet. I wondered how the Crusaders were faring for a moment before remembering that the Spirit of Chaos was getting annoyed with me.

“My apologies,” I said to Discord’s back as I tried to think carefully about what words to use. “I did not mean to offend. You must realize that most of the people I meet are very, uh... dull. It’s all-too-easy to get into the habit of predicting things.” I glanced back towards the Equestrians, who were thankfully still watching in silence, though Pinkie looked to be getting restless. I hoped she wasn’t offended by the sudden hug.

Discord froze suddenly, as if in thought, but he waved a hand behind him as if to brush it off. “That is an interesting topic of conversation, Doug. We shall discuss it over lunch,” he said with finality. He then turned his attention back to the Humvee, popping the hood and withdrawing a picnic basket from where the engine should have been. It was even rumbling as if it actually were an engine.

While the Spirit of Chaos was busying himself with the basket, I turned back to Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel once again. “Hey,” I whispered, getting their attention. “Trust me on this; this man is dangerous, but everything should be fine if we’re careful. Most importantly, do not say your names.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?” she whispered. “That’s just silly!”

Damn it, Pinkie.

“Just pretend it’s a game. The Do-Not-Say-Your-Names Game.” I stared at her until I received a small nod in response, then looked at Fluttershy and Angel until they nodded as well. I remembered afterward that Angel couldn’t talk, but it was best that he understood as well. Once I was satisfied, I turned back around just as Discord finished retrieving items from the Humvee.

“I believe this will do quite nicely,” Discord said as he balanced the picnic basket, the pie (which turned out to just be the mathematical sign for pi), a large yellow blanket sporting a smiley face, and a chainsaw in his arms. He dropped everything but the chainsaw onto the ground, with the blanket landing and unfolding first, followed by the basket and pi pie on top of it. Then he began to rev the chainsaw. “Soup’s on!” he yelled as he used the chainsaw to noisily cut into the picnic basket, dividing it into six equal parts. When he finished, he calmly bent down and picked up a piece of the basket, then bit into it as if it were a sandwich. He looked up at us and raised an eyebrow. “Well?” he asked impatiently.

I ran through my options. Apparently, running had led John, or Fullmetal_Pony, to becoming injured somehow. Fighting Discord without magic would be completely foolish and I’d probably end up worse off than John or Ashton were. Eating a picnic basket, or whatever the bloody hell it was, was out of the question. The only thing I could do was play along and hope to get this over with quickly.

“Oh how interesting,” I said. “I brought some snacks as well. Do you mind?” I asked, pointing towards my car. It would probably be best to remain polite around Discord. Perhaps like a bear, he may eventually just leave us alone after a while.

Discord looked pleased. “Oh not at all, Doug!” he said cheerfully. “Hopefully what you’ve brought is more interesting than this common fare,” he remarked, indicating the ‘food’ on the blanket.

I somehow doubted it, but I made my way toward my car anyway. I had packed some Tim Tams, a few packages of Oreos, some vegetarian sandwiches for the Equestrians, and a ham sandwich for myself. I was surprised to see that Pinkie had actually left six Cokes as well. I grabbed everything and brought it back toward the picnic blanket, where I found Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel to still be standing. I set the food on the blanket and patted the ground beside me, indicating that the others should sit down.

“Well, here we go. Hopefully it meets with your approval,” I said as everyone took a seat.

I passed around the sandwiches and snacks, and handed each person a Coke with the exception of Ashton, who didn’t have any hands to accept it with. I set a can down in front of him with a shrug and watched with mild wonder as he tried to gnaw on it for a few moments. Once the food was served, a long, awkward silence followed as most of those gathered simply sat and stared at the food before them. Only Discord and Pinkie seemed content to actually eat anything.

Discord made a show of examining his sandwich, pulling the bread apart and carefully scrutinizing the vegetables within. “The green stuff is the healthy bit, isn’t it?” he inquired pensively. He set the sandwich down and looked at Ashton. “Do you remember that pizza I gave you? Sawdust. Every last bit of it.”

Ashton’s eyes widened for a moment before he began to gag and practically choke in revulsion. Pinkie stopped eating for a moment and looked at me suspiciously, so I picked up my own sandwich and took a bite to show her it was safe. With Pinkie satisfied, I turned around just in time to see Ashton cough up a tiny wooden figurine that was a solid representation of Chuck Norris.

I wasn’t sure how to react to that. If I had been watching a cartoon and saw a dingo cough up a Chuck Norris figurine, I might have laughed. Having it actually happen in front of me was a different feeling altogether. It didn’t make sense, and it wasn’t funny here. It was making me nervous, and I didn’t often get nervous about anything. What would Discord do to me or the Equestrians if he found out who they were? He had to know that they were powerless. Pinkie had told me that he had somehow hidden away the Elements of Harmony, and I didn’t know of any other way to stop him. If he could create chaos on Earth, what could anyone do about it? We were defeated before we even began.

Ashton licked his lips and made some comment about the figurine tasting like cinnamon. I wasn’t really listening. The man he had once been seemed to have given up as well, and just went along with whatever happened to him. Hell, I didn’t even know if Ashton had been a man. He may have been a child or a teenager. I knew nothing about him other than that he seemed to be Discord’s plaything at the moment. Was that the destiny of all of humanity? To becomes toys for Discord’s amusement?

“I have to use the bathroom,” Ashton announced suddenly. “Doug, care to join me?”

The words snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up. For some reason, all eyes were on me. Was it a coincidence that I had just been doubting whether I could trust Ashton? If I followed him, he might have information that I could use. That would also leave Discord alone with Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel. None of them knew he was Discord, and the Spirit of Chaos had no idea who they were. That would change the moment any of them said their name. What if the fate of Earth rested on whether I chose to follow a talking dingo to the bathroom or not? Why me?

“I don’t have to go,” I announced firmly.

Ashton shot me a pleading look, but I was having none of it. “But...” he began. “But this is Australia! What if something attacks me? Doesn’t anyone else have to go?”

I was preparing to tell Ashton to be quiet and go find a bush when Angel rolled his eyes and stood up, looking at the dingo expectantly. Did I trust Ashton to go alone with Angel?

No.

I pardoned myself from the picnic, murmuring “One moment,” before walking quickly to my car and retrieving something. I returned to the picnic site a moment later and handed Angel one of my fishing knives, which he took with a look of complete confusion.

“Just in case some big, scary animal attacks our friend,” I said, meeting his eye. For a former bunny that used to live in a land of magical talking ponies, he seemed to catch on immediately. Smart bunny. I turned to Ashton. “He will protect you.”

“Great,” muttered Ashton, rolling his eyes. “I mean, great! Thanks.” The look he gave me was not one of gratitude as he reluctantly followed Angel back towards the bathrooms.

“I never got any help when I needed to go,” Discord observed with a pout. He turned to look directly at me.

I shrugged. “I guess you’re more competent than he is. How are the Tim Tams?” I saw that Discord had barely eaten any of the sandwich, but he had licked the Oreos and consumed the cookie parts, leaving the cream. The Tim Tams had actually been eaten in a completely normal fashion.

The Spirit of Chaos shrugged as well. “At least they weren’t dull,” he commented. His eyes then lit up as he seemed to remember something. “Oh yes, we were going to discuss something over lunch. You see, there is no such thing as anyone being dull, Doug.”

Looking at Discord and his papier mache suit of samurai armor, I wasn’t convinced. Compared to him, just about anyone else would seem dull. I wasn’t about to argue with him, though. In fact, I needed to get away before Pinkie went mad from boredom. She had remained quiet up until this point, but I could see from her squirming and the look in her eyes that she was a ticking time bomb ready to explode and unleash a party at any moment. Keeping Fluttershy quiet was easy. Pinkie? Not so much.

Discord continued. “You only need to pull the right kinds of strings, and suddenly anyone can become amusing. Then it’s a fun little game.” His eyes glinted as he said the last few words.

As did Pinkie’s eyes. The mention of the word ‘game’ was too much for her, and she let out a little squeak before covering her mouth with her hands and trying, without success, to sit still.

The Spirit of Chaos smiled slightly and chuckled. “It’s so wonderful, not knowing everything about someone. Slowly finding out what makes them tick,” he continued, glancing at Pinkie, then back to me. “Just talking to them and getting... friendly.” Although the words he spoke were innocent enough, the way he said them sent a shiver up my spine.

Pinkie had reached the critical point and was in danger of a meltdown. Her fingers were digging into her knees as she fought to keep them jumping up and running around, or worse. Her breathing was rapid, and she looked at me almost pleadingly.

Discord looked at me for a moment longer, then turned to Pinkie. “How rude of me, what might your name be, Pinkie?” he asked with a grin.

Pinkie and I looked at each other in shock. How could he know? Nobody said her name, unless... had Ashton lied? I’d break his bones one by one, damn him!

“Uh, what do you mean?” I asked, knowing we were screwed. “That’s not her name...” It was over. Goodbye Earth, Equestria, and whatever else Discord wanted to rule or play with or whatever it was he did.

Discord looked at me as if I were the most un-intelligent creature in all of existence. He gestured toward Pinkie. “Pink hair, what is there not to get?” he said. “Honestly, have you never used a nickname before?”

Oh. Ohhh! Bloody hell.

“Oh, right! I clearly wasn’t thinking. Her name is, uh, Patty,” I said with a grin that was probably far too big to be taken seriously.

Discord raised an eyebrow. “And does ‘Patty’ have a last name?” he inquired.

“Pie!” Pinkie shouted, unable to control herself any longer. She looked at me apologetically, but the damage was already done.

Patty... Pie? There’s no way he’ll buy that.

“Uh huh,” Discord said with suspicion. “Patty Pie and Fluttery Shies then.” He leaned close to Pinkie. “So what are you famous for, ‘Patty’?” he hissed through his teeth.

Pinkie and Fluttershy were nervously looking at each other, and I had just reluctantly come to the decision that I’d have to fight, and probably lose, when Ashton and Angel returned.

“Whoo yeah, that sure was a really great pee,” Ashton announced suddenly, and a little too loudly. I unclenched my fist and turned around to face the dingo. He couldn’t have made it more obvious that he hadn’t used the toilet at all. Or the ground. Whatever. Angel caught my eye and held my gaze until it was clear that he knew something. So Ashton must have had some information after all. I’d apologize for doubting him later.

At that point, Discord stood up suddenly. All signs of pleasantness had drained from his face and were replaced with outright suspicion. “Uh huh. So what are your real names?” he asked, crossing his arms dramatically.

We all stood up. The picnic was over, and things had just gone from frighteningly awkward to deadly serious. Angel came over to stand beside me and I felt him press something into my hand. It was the knife. Glancing down, I saw Ashton look at Fluttershy and take in a long breath. I didn’t know what he had planned, but I hoped it was better than my own, and I somehow felt that even having a knife hadn’t improved our odds of survival much. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and prepared to fight the Spirit of Chaos with a four inch fishing knife.

“They’re trying to get you to move in with them!” Ashton called out suddenly. All eyes turned to the dingo. “Yeah, this kid here says they have an extra room, D-dog,” he added, gesturing towards Angel.

Was he serious? He was trying reverse psychology on Discord? That was his plan? Did he think we were all stupid? Having a go at Discord with a fishing knife was a better plan, and I didn’t expect that to work either. The sheer stupidity of it all was mind-boggling, and I actually found myself walking towards Ashton, whose attention was on Discord.

“Going to strangle him,” I muttered quietly as I slowly crept closer to the dingo. “Too stupid to live, it’s better this way.”

“Euuughhhh,” Discord moaned suddenly. “Ugh. Uh... er...” he said, an intense look of discomfort on his face. “Our, uh... people! Yes, our people need us, Ashton. Let’s go.”

Ashton, Angel, and I all looked at Discord in disbelief, with me stopping just moments from throttling the dingo. Had Discord really just said it was time to leave? Reverse psychology had actually worked?

Ashton looked up at me, jumping slightly when he realized how close I was to him. “Well, it was nice meeting you...” he said with a hint of sorrow. I suddenly felt bad for wanting to choke him out, and for his situation in general. “Maybe I’ll see you again some other time?” he asked, then laughed. “As if...”

I knelt down and put a hand on the dingo’s shoulder. “We’ll find a way to get them home,” I whispered. “Hang in there.”

Ashton turned and looked at Angel, who gave a slight nod. I’d ask him what they talked about later. For now, all I could do was stand with the Equestrians and watch as Ashton slowly walked over to Discord and followed him towards the Humvee. All of the picnic supplies that Discord had brought grew tiny legs and feet, and followed them into the vehicle.

As the Humvee’s ‘engine’ started, Discord leaned his head out the window and looked at us one last time. His expression suggested that he thought we were crazy, and he quickly rolled up the window, obscuring himself from view. The vehicle started and shot off like a rocket straight for us, causing all four of us to hug one another as if the Spirit of Chaos had decided we needed to be eliminated. The Humvee didn’t run us over, however. Instead, it moved slower and slower until it stopped right in front of us, then disappeared in a flash, leaving burning tire tracks in its wake. It was like a reverse Delorean, if that even made sense. Which it didn’t.

The Equestrians and I let go of each other and stood in silence for a good thirty seconds. Finally, I looked at Fluttershy.

“Have you seen enough?” I asked.

She nodded her head vigorously. “Uh huh, ready to go when you are, lead the way!” she exclaimed rapidly, not even waiting for a reply before moving toward the car as fast as her legs would allow her. It was the fastest I had seen her move as a human.

Pinkie was difficult to read. She looked as if she were bored, excited, happy, sad, scared, and ready to fight all at the same time. I owed her for forcing her to be quiet for so long.

“We can have a party when we get home,” I said. I was rewarded with a squeal and a hug, then she happily made her way to the car. I was preparing to follow her when I felt a tug on my shirt and looked down to see Angel looking up at me anxiously.

“What is it?” I asked. In answer, he grabbed my arm and began leading me towards the bathrooms. What was that all about?

The former bunny stopped in front of the entrance to the men’s toilets and pointed at the ground. Crudely scrawled into the dirt was a message. It read:

Hey D, jst N cAsE U r aliv go 2 fimfic . net find me and pm me. U nvr know. ~DRAEQUINE

Draequine? On the fan-fiction site? I turned back around, but the Humvee was long gone. Ashton the dingo was Draequine. I knew a Draequine from that site! What was going on here? All four people I knew who had found Equestrians: Fullmetal_Pony, DragonLS, Draequine, and myself... we were all members of that site.

Before I could think further on the matter, I felt another tug on my shirt. I looked down and saw that Angel wanted me to follow him again. He led me inside the bathroom and pointed to a wrapped parcel laying on the shelf above one of the sinks. It had a pink bow wrapped around it with a small card tucked under the ribbon. Upon the card was some more writing.

Every winner should receive her prize.

- F. A.

I looked back down at Angel, confused, but he simply shrugged. Curiosity got the better of me and I unwrapped the box and opened it up. Inside was a cupcake with blue frosting, topped with some strange-looking pony toy. I thought it was a pony toy, anyway. It was like a cross between a bug and a pony, had insect-like wings, and there were holes in its hooves. It was definitely molded much like other pony toys, but this was a character I had never seen before. She looked kind of creepy.

A cupcake with a toy on top? Why? Who was it for? The note said every winner should get her prize. That meant either Pinkie or Fluttershy. Both of them probably liked cupcakes, but it seemed more appropriate for Pinkie. Plus, she had bought some pony toys already; why not add another one to the collection?

I decided to let the girls sort it out later. All I cared about was getting home before Discord decided to come back and turn me into a kangaroo or something. I shrugged at Angel and put the cupcake back in the box. Angel looked as if he wanted to try to tell me something else, but I held a hand up.

“Can it wait until we get home?” I asked.

He frowned and put his hands on his hips, but then let out a small sigh and nodded reluctantly. I surprised him when I knelt down and looked him in the eye.

“Hey,” I said, holding a hand out. “Thanks for the knife back there. I don’t know how much it may have helped, but... well, it was better than nothing.”

Angel looked down at my hand, then back up at me. I was beginning to wonder if he knew what a handshake was when he finally took my hand and gave it a quick shake. To think I had disliked Angel before all of this. Together, we left the bathroom and walked back to the car. I had some business to take care of back home.

It was nighttime, and the Equestrians were all fast asleep after what had been a mildly enjoyable party. Pinkie and Fluttershy had both known I was keeping something from them, and though it pained me to have to avoid the truth, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them who we had just had a picnic with. Fluttershy was stressed out enough as it was, and I had no way to predict how Pinkie would react. The one thing I couldn’t do was explain to them how we couldn’t just leave and try to track down Discord. They would never understand the rules of international travel, or just how big Earth really is. So I remained silent about it.

Except when it came to Angel. The white-haired boy had insisted on letting me know what Ashton had told him, and after a good amount of time spent trying to guess what his hand-gestures meant, I finally figured it out. Ashton had told him who Discord was, and the boy now understood what was going on. I had explained to Angel why I didn’t want Pinkie or Fluttershy to know, and although I had expected him to become angry, I was surprised that he seemed to understand. Perhaps he realized how much stress Fluttershy was under. Whatever the reason, he agreed to be quiet about it for now.

I turned on my computer, being quiet so as not to wake Angel, and logged onto the pony fanfiction site. Within moments, I had an open PM addressed to Draequine.

Drae,

What the hell, mate? Let me know if you are still in Australia or not. I can’t believe we met and had no idea who each other were. You might recognize my screen name. Keep ‘Big D’ under control somehow while I figure things out.

- TheSlorg

I sent the private message along and checked my inbox. I wasn’t surprised to find it empty. How badly had John ‘Fullmetal_Pony’ been hurt? Ashton hadn’t said that anything bad had happened to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but I was still concerned. I opened up a new PM.

Fullmetal_Pony,

Or John, right? Hopefully when you receive this message, you will be recovered from whatever happened to you. You might be wondering how I know that you were injured. Well, I had a visit from a certain Spirit of Chaos, if you get my drift.

Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel are all okay. We managed to trick him into leaving with the help of someone named Ashton. You might recognize him, he’s registered on this site as Draequine.

You might already be aware of this, but Discord won’t recognize anyone from Equestria unless you say their names. I don’t know how or why, but Discord has no idea that I found Pinkie and the others, despite the fact that he was staring them all in the face. The same happened with me and Discord. I couldn’t focus on his name until Ashton said it.

Anyway, things are safe here now. Discord took Ashton with him, so it’s just Fluttershy, Pinkie, Angel, and me again. Don’t forget to send pictures of the Crusaders. We need to meet up and make a plan.

Cheers,

-TheSlorg

With that message sent, I had one more order of business to deal with. I opened up my email and was pleasantly surprised to see a response from DragonLS.

TO: Aussie_hunter@ausmail.com

FROM: MidnightSkull_Dragon@wahoo.com

SUBJECT: Status?

Salutations and greetings, Slorg. I take you're having a fine day the moment you read this e-mail? Because I certainly am... well, sort of.

I decided to e-mail to tell you about a few things that's going on, something that I thought about after we had our chat in the IRC channel.

Well, first of all, I never got a chance to tell you my e-mail, which you can see in the FROM box, or TO, whichever e-mail services do these days, whether it's receiving or sending...

But anyway, enough of about my tangent on how e-mail works... So far, Celestia's doing fine. She has clothes, a home to live in, and security. Although there is that one time where she accidentally ate bacon once and fainted, then the time she freaked out over the ignition of my car, oh, let's not forget the rather amusing look she gave when she heard the lines "My Wings are So Pretty!" from a toy clone of hers...

That reminds me... I never understood why Hasbro had the balls to turn Celestia Pink, give her the wrong mane, and just look all... G3? G4? I never watched the previous generations, so I don't know...

But I'm getting off-topic here. I want to let you know that I'm not leaving the U.S.. It would be too much of a hassle and I have no way of legally obtaining IDs and documents for Celestia in a speedy manner. I also want to avoid anything illegal-wise, since that crap can get traced back to you if caught, and getting caught is not what I prefer to have on me right now.

However, I can keep an eye out on any other ponies I come across that are in the U.S., and keep in contact with ya about 'em? Because if we all fly overseas, it's going to cause problems, not only financially, but possibly other unknowns.

Also, one more thing...

We need to Webcam at some point. I think it'd be nice if the ponies saw each other in realtime.
Just a thought. Send me your thoughts on this subject, eh?

DragonLS had some good points, but he was far too casual about everything. It was very likely that the danger of having Discord loose on Earth hadn’t sunk in for him just yet. I’d need to warn him.

TO: MidnightSkull_Dragon@wahoo.com

FROM: Aussie_hunter@ausmail.com

Subject: Re: Status?

Dragon,

It has not been a fine day at all. I’ll get straight to the point - I ran into Discord today. He’s not only here on Earth, but he has some of his powers, too. You need to listen to me.

Do NOT say Celestia’s name in front of him if he shows up. Make sure she doesn’t say it either. I don’t know why, but for some reason Equestrians don’t seem to recognize each other until one of them says their name. Looking back on it, I realize now that the girls had to confirm their identities to each other before they realized who they were. The same with Angel. He nodded to Fluttershy when she asked if it was him, and she only really seemed to recognize him at that moment. I don’t think I have to tell you what might happen if Discord stumbled across a completely powerless Princess Celestia.

We managed to get away fine with some help. Anyway, your idea is a good one. You keep an eye on things in the US, and I’ll keep things under control over here if I can. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are coming to Australia along with the one who found them. See if you can find any of the other ponies. Protip - keep checking the IRC. I have a feeling you’ll have a lot of luck there.

Stay safe,

- TheSlorg

I sent the email, then closed out of the web browser and shut my computer off. It had been a long day, and I desperately needed to clear my mind. As I crawled into my sleeping bag on the floor, my mind wandered restlessly. Despite my best efforts, sleep would not come for me. It would be the first of many sleepless nights.

Ponies on Broadway

Ponies on Broadway
April 18th 2012

Morning arrived sooner than I would have liked, but complaining about it would have been no use. The night had been spent tossing and turning, and no matter how long I kept my eyes squinted shut, I had not been able to fall asleep. I had tried to focus my thoughts on the joy of meeting Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel, but they always drifted back to the frightening encounter with Discord. We may have escaped unscathed physically, but the mental strain it had caused was already leading to problems.

The lack of sleep was one thing, but dealing with the disappointed looks from Pinkie and Fluttershy, and the fact that they knew I was hiding something from them, was another problem altogether. The girls had welcomed my friendship with openness and trust, telling me anything I wanted to know without fear, and doing what they could to help around the apartment. The fact that I could not treat them with the same openness was heartbreaking. I still felt that it was best that they didn’t know about Discord just yet. I wanted to get John and the Cutie Mark Crusaders to Sydney, then form some kind of plan before revealing who it was that we had picnicked with.

I stretched my arms over my head, then arched and stretched my back and shoulders. It was still fairly early. A glance at the wall clock revealed that it was six forty-two in the morning. Angel would likely be up in less than an hour, followed by the others. If I took a shower now, I’d be out in time to cook breakfast before anyone else had awoken. I crawled out from the sleeping bag, rolled it up, and quietly put it away in the linen closet. I then sleepily made my way to the bathroom and opened the door.

Sitting on the floor of the bathroom, staring straight ahead with her knees pulled up to her chin and her back to the wall, was Pinkie. She closed her eyes and let out a small sigh when she noticed me enter the room.

“Pinkie?” I asked before kneeling down next to her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

She continued to keep her eyes closed for several moments before opening them and looking into my eyes. “I don’t know,” she replied. Her voice was uncharacteristically strained, and her eyes were dull instead of having their usual mischievous gleam to them. She looked down to the floor and continued. “I guess a lot of things have happened lately, and it’s finally catching up with me.”

My heart ached to see Pinkie looking so discouraged. Her voice, mannerisms, and even her word choices all contrasted sharply with how she generally behaved. I had known that she was under a lot of stress, but to see her in such a state...

I sat down next to her and stared at my hands, trying to think of the right words to say. Lack of sleep and an increase in my own anxiety made it difficult to focus, though.

“How long have you been in here?” I asked. I waited for a response, but it soon became clear by the stark silence that Pinkie either hadn’t heard me, or didn’t want to talk about it. Reaching for her hand, I decided to simply ask her, “Would you like to talk about it?”

Pinkie looked up at me with her crystal blue eyes, a sad hint of a smile touching the corners of her lips. She held my gaze for a few moments before answering. “I miss Gummy,” she said breathlessly.

An image of the wall-eyed baby alligator came to mind, and I wondered if Gummy had also been caught in the blast of chaos magic that sent the ponies to Earth. Angel apparently had, and he also managed to find us somehow. Perhaps the alligator had also been transformed, and was out there somewhere, looking for a way home.

Pinkie spoke again before I could think on it further. “I miss the others, too,” she continued. “I miss pulling pranks with Rainbow Dash and baking goodies with Applejack. I miss helping Rarity with those beautiful dresses she creates, and listening to Twilight talk about weird sciency things that I don’t quite understand, but seem like fun anyway.” There was another moment of silence as she looked at her hand that I was holding.

I wondered what to say to that, but she continued.

“I thought that turning into a human would be a lot of fun,” she explained. “So I just went along with it. And it had been a lot of fun.” Her voice grew quieter. “Until yesterday. Something happened at the picnic that I wasn’t prepared for.”

From what I could recall, Pinkie had been squirming and had looked extremely uncomfortable as she tried to sit still. I couldn’t imagine that being made to keep quiet would make her that upset, so there had to be something more to it.

“Go on,” I encouraged.

Pinkie took her hand out of mine and returned her gaze to my face. She bit her lower lip, and I thought she would reconsider telling me, but she finally answered.

“I felt my Pinkie Sense,” she revealed. Suddenly her hands were on my shoulders. “It was awful! I didn’t understand what any of it meant. Normally, I get an itchy nose or a twitchy tail, but in this body everything’s wrong!” The words that followed struck me like a physical blow. “Something was wrong at that picnic, and you won’t tell us what it was! You said that tall man was dangerous, but there was more to it than that; I could feel it. Don’t think for one second that I didn’t see what Angel gave you, or the way you looked at that man when he did. Our lives were in danger, and you won’t even tell us why.”

Pinkie fell silent and continued to look into my eyes with a sad mixture of uncertainty and frustration. It was clear to me then that my efforts to shield the Equestrians from the stress of Discord’s presence had actually led to the even greater stress of having to deal with the unknown. Not to mention the disappointment of having a friend hide the truth from them.

The time had come for complete honesty, regardless of the consequences.

“Pinkie, I’m sorry,” I began. With a heavy sigh, I continued. “I only wanted to protect you all from the reality of what we’re facing, but...” I closed my eyes. “I’ve only made things worse for you. I guess I made the mistake of thinking you couldn’t handle the extra pressure and for that, I apologize.”

Pinkie blinked. “Do you really feel that way? I mean, you just wanted to try to keep us happy?”

“Yeah,” I muttered.

Her smile returned, if a bit strained. “Okay then, how about this... I promise not to get upset over whatever it is you’ve been hiding from us.” She began to make motions with her hands. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in-”

Pinkie was cut off as I gently placed a hand on her forearm. “There’s no need to Pinkie Promise,” I said. “I’m just going to tell you the truth, and I’m not going to force unrealistic expectations upon you. There’s no way to tell how you’re going to react, so we’ll just take it one step at a time from here on out, okay?”

Pinkie seemed to relax, her smile more genuine. “Alrighty then,” she replied. “Let’s try it.”

I took a deep breath. “The tall man from yesterday was Discord.”

The smile, along with the slight glimmer of hope I’d seen in her eyes, disappeared. Her brow furrowed as she began to grasp what I had just said. Surprise, fear, and anger all flashed across her face before finally giving way to resignation.

“So that’s why I felt so strange yesterday,” Pinkie reflected. She let out a small sigh. “I don’t blame you for what you did, and I can definitely relate to wanting to see somepony smile.” She paused for a moment. “I still can’t help but worry about my friends though.”

I thought for a moment. “Well, they can’t be any worse off than we are,” I commented.

Pinkie frowned. “What do you mean?”

I put an arm around her shoulders and motioned with the other. “I doubt that they’re sitting on a bathroom floor sharing their problems with whoever happened to find them,” I said.

Pinkie stared at me for a few seconds, then a small giggle escaped her lips. “You’re right.” She smiled again. “I bet Twilight’s probably still studying the trees near wherever she landed, Rarity has probably made a dress out of leaves by now, and Applejack and Rainbow Dash are probably fighting over who looks better as a human. Princess Celestia was found by your friend, and I bet Luna’s being taken care of, too. We even get to see Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo soon too!”

A smile crept onto my face. “That’s the Pinkie I’ve come to know. Are you going to be okay?”

My answer came in the form of a hug. “Thanks, Captain,” she said. “There’s still plenty left to worry about, but I do feel better now.”

Just then the bathroom door opened and Fluttershy poked her head in. She froze the moment she saw us, and openly stared with wide eyes and bright red cheeks for a few awkward seconds.

“Oh my, um. Well, I guess I can wait. I’ll just, um, leave you two alone now...” she managed to say before retreating and shutting the door. I could hear her hasty footsteps as she practically ran back to the bedroom.

Pinkie and I looked at each other and burst into quiet laughter. Once we settled down, I stood and helped her to her feet so we could go explain things to Fluttershy before the former pegasus could have a fit.

With Pinkie back in a stable condition, and Fluttershy no longer panicking and thinking that her friend had finally lost her mind and fallen in love with an alien, it was time to decide what our plans would be for the day. Browsing the internet was dismissed as an option almost immediately. While looking online might have led to finding more Equestrians, I wasn’t prepared mentally or financially to meet any more of them; not with the Cutie Mark Crusaders coming to Sydney. I would need to get the passports sorted for them soon, but I didn’t want to have to deal with Moey while Pinkie and Fluttershy were both emotionally drained.

Pinkie and I had sat down to breakfast with Fluttershy and Angel and explained Discord’s presence at the picnic. Angel wasn’t surprised, since he had been informed of the draconequus by Ashton already. But Fluttershy was taken aback, and needed several minutes to recover.

When she did come around, she simply listened and nodded as Pinkie and I explained how we couldn’t just leave Sydney to try to find their friends without confirming their locations first. I explained that actively looking for Discord was out of the question, with Fluttershy agreeing as she nibbled on homemade pancakes. All in all, she handled the news better than we had expected, and while she did offer her hopes that we could find the others quickly, she accepted our situation and agreed that we needed to take it one step at a time.

“So what’re we doing today, Captain?” Pinkie asked through a mouthful of Snickers. She was sitting at the table and trying to pull a shirt down over her shoulders, oblivious to the fact that she shouldn’t have been walking around with just a bra on. Especially in front of Angel, though I wondered if that really mattered.

I turned off the television, causing The Wiggles to shrink into black nothingness. “Well, we can probably consider this as a day off. The pictures of the Crusaders aren’t likely to be ready for a while, and DragonLS seems to have the princess taken care of. We may as well try to have a little fun today; I think we could all use it,” I pointed out.

Fluttershy set down the Wii remote she had been examining and looked up. “Um well, if you don’t mind me saying, I really don’t...” She grew quiet as she considered the right words to use. “Let’s please not go back to that nature reserve,” she asserted.

“No,” I said. “We’re definitely not going back there.” I’d seen enough ‘wildlife’ lately, and was in no rush to see any more.

“Let’s go find some bronies!” Pinkie suggested. “I want to know everything about them!”

No you don’t, Pinkie. No you don’t.

“How about we go to the mall? Are there malls in Equestria?” I asked, to which Pinkie nodded in confirmation. “You all could do with a few more outfits, and I can’t believe I forgot to buy you toothbrushes.” A thought occurred to me. “I’m also running out of food.”

Pinkie’s eyes briefly looked down towards the pile of candy bar wrappers and Coke cans on the table before her. “Sorry!” She grinned sheepishly. “You humans make really yummy treats!”

She had Snickers and Coke for breakfast. I’m going to Hell for sure.

I quickly brushed away the thought. With everything that had happened recently, even a silly thought like that could lead to questions I didn’t want to think about.

“Right,” I said. “Unless anyone has any objections, then we’ll head to the mall on Broadway. Once we’re done shopping I might take you around the city to see some of the sights.” I looked at each Equestrian in turn. “Pinkie, you need to finish getting dressed, and please don’t forget pants this time. Fluttershy, you should change out of that dress. You’ve had it on ever since I bought it for you. Speaking of which, you’re going to need another shower before we go out.”

“I um, don’t know how to get it off,” Fluttershy replied, her cheeks turning crimson. “It’s very different from what I used to wear.”

I sighed. “Just get Pinkie to help you again.” I turned to find Angel, but stopped and turned back to the girls when I sensed a problem with what I had just said. “No, don’t take the dress off of her out here.” Pinkie froze, a hand already reaching for Fluttershy’s dress. “Go get another outfit for her and take it into the bathroom with you. Get her showered and dressed in there. Neither of you come out unless you’re fully dressed and ready to go.” I watched as the girls retreated into the bathroom, then looked around once more.

“Where’s Angel?” I asked. I was met with a soft kick to the side of my leg and looked down to see the boy standing right beside me. “What did I tell you about that?” I glared at the boy. “Oh, forget about it. I’m going to need to get you some clothes, too. Where did you get those from, anyway?” I asked, indicating his white outfit. Angel looked down at his shirt and shorts, then back up at me. “You know what? Never mind, I don’t want to know. Just be ready to leave by the time the girls finish.”

I watched the former bunny run off, then began cleaning up after breakfast. It felt strangely satisfying, the sudden realization that I was actually beginning to grow accustomed to seeing the Equestrians around the apartment. I knew it couldn’t last forever, but I was okay with that. I would get them back to their rightful home and be left with memories; some happy, some sad, and some...

“Hey Doug, is the shampoo supposed to come out like whipped cream? Hey, does this mean humans eat and wash their manes at the same time? That's brilliant!” Pinkie’s voice called from within the bathroom.

Some memories would be of Pinkie trying to wash Fluttershy’s hair with shaving cream.

We arrived at the Broadway mall without incident, though finding a parking spot took at least twenty minutes. How the shopping center could be packed on a Wednesday was beyond me, but it was Sydney, so I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Fluttershy murmured a small, “Thanks,” as I helped her with her seatbelt again, then stepped out of the car with me and the others. Together, we all walked towards the main building.

Before us was one of the many entrances to the mall, which was actually composed of three large, multi-story buildings that took up one small city block each. The buildings were connected by enclosed walkways that crossed above the streets, and it could be easy for first-time shoppers to become lost without the help of the maps that were available at information desks scattered throughout the shopping centre.

“Stay close by,” I told the Equestrians as I moved to hold the door open for them. “You don’t want to get lost here. We’ll be around a lot of other people.” I looked at them each in turn and lowered my voice. “Remember that... you refer to them as people, not ‘humans.’ I also can’t call you by your real names here, so we’ll be using the names I came up with for when we get your passports. Fluttershy’s new name is Felicia Shay. Pinkie, you’ll be Diane Shay, and you’re supposed to be Felicia’s sister. Got it?”

“Got it, Captain!”

“Angel, you’re going to be Adam Bonny, and you’re their cousin. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about you saying your name wrong, but I do need you to remember to respond to ‘Adam,’ okay?

Angel nodded. With that sorted, I followed them through the door and into the mall. We had parked on the second level of the north parking lot, so the first thing to greet us upon entering was the Hoyts Cinema complex, where patrons were in line to see the latest movies and teens roamed the adjoining arcade.

“Oh wow, who are those masked hum- people?” Pinkie asked as we passed by a movie poster.

I stopped and pointed to the poster. “This guy is Captain America, this one is Iron Man, that’s the Incredible Hulk, and that one is Thor. They’re superheroes who banded together to make a team called The Avengers. It’s just a movie, though,” I explained, though I briefly wondered if the heroes actually did exist in some other dimension. “It’s not out yet, though.”

“It looks like it would be a lot of fun to watch!” she gushed. “They kind of look like really strong and colorful Mare-Do-Wells!” There was a certain gleam in her eyes, like a child who had just entered the world’s largest toy store.

I smiled. “Tell you what, it’s rated low enough that it should be safe for the Crusaders to watch. I’ll take us all out to see it next week when it comes out, unless we find a way to get you home before then.”

Pinkie’s squeal of delight and ensuing hug made the one hundred twenty-five dollars or so that I’d be spending just on the tickets alone worth it. Even Fluttershy and Angel smiled in anticipation, and I was left to wonder at how such a simple act could make them all so happy. Then again, I would probably react in the same way if a pony offered to take me to go see a play.

We moved on past the cinema, weaving through the crowd in our search for a decent clothing shop. There were a huge number of shops to choose from: casual, formal, outdoor apparel, designer fashions, lingerie, and an enormous amount of shoe stores. So many shops that it was difficult to choose where to start.

“Well, I guess the biggest concern is finding Angel, er... Adam, some more clothing,” I announced. “We only need a few more outfits for you girls, but Adam needs a lot more than that. We’ll head to a children’s store, and you can just call out if you see something you like on the way there, okay?”

The girls agreed and followed me as I made my way towards Cotton on Kids, which was the only kid-specific clothes shop that I knew of. Unfortunately, it was located on the other side of the mall. We set off in that direction, trying to maintain a quick pace so we could finish shopping and get out as quickly as possible. Eventually, pushing through the crowd began to become a nuisance, and I was starting to regret my decision to come to the mall when we finally arrived at the shop. I stopped just outside the store and turned around to address the Equestrians.

“Great, we’re finally here,” I announced. “Do you girls want to wait for me here by the entrance, or come on in with us? It shouldn’t take too long, so it’s up to you.”

“Um, I’d rather stay with you,” Fluttershy replied. I could understand. By the nervous looks she kept giving the large crowd around us, it was likely getting to her.

“Yeah we should stick together,” Pinkie agreed. “Lead the way, Captain!”

“Alright then,” I said. “Come on, Adam. Let’s get you some new clothes.” I blinked and looked down by my side, then towards Pinkie and Fluttershy. “Adam...? Adam!?”

It was no use. Angel was nowhere in sight.

Lost is Found; Pink is Blue

Lost is Found; Pink is Blue
April 18th 2012

"Oh God, where did he go?" I demanded.

Pinkie and Fluttershy both scanned the area with me, but it was hopeless. The mall was crowded, and even though Angel should have been easy to spot, none of us were able to find him.

"Hmm, I don't see him here," Pinkie observed, squinting. "Don't worry, I'll go find him!" With that, she began to push her way through the crowd.

"What? Pinkie, come back!" I called out, forgetting to use her alias in my panic. "It's dangerous!"

"Oh, that's just silly!" she replied, still walking away.

It was insane; I couldn't let Pinkie Pie wander around the mall by herself. She could become lost as well, and then I'd have to try to track down two missing Equestrians instead of just one. Losing Angel was bad enough. How could I have let that happen? He had just been with us! I turned back to face Fluttershy.

"Come on, we have to go get her before something happens," I stated.

Fluttershy just stood there staring at me, her cheeks reddening, and began wringing her hands together. We were wasting precious time.

"Come on, Flutt... Felicia!" I urged, reaching for her hand.

"I... I can't!" she squeaked. There was a sense of pleading in her eyes that gave me pause. Something was up.

"What's wrong?" I asked impatiently. "We can't waste any time, so hurry please."

"I, um... well I..." She followed the words with some incoherent mumbling. I didn't have time for this.

"What?" I asked. "Honestly, speak up. We need to hurry."

Fluttershy squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath, and quickly announced, "I need to use the filly's room!"

Seriously? I thought. Her two friends are missing and this is why she can't help me look for them?

"Just hold it," I said, taking her hand and turning back in the direction Pinkie had gone. "Let's go." I began walking, but Fluttershy resisted.

"Doug!" she yelled suddenly, causing a few other shoppers to look our way. I turned back around and was shocked to see Fluttershy glaring at me. It didn't last long, however, as she quickly looked away and sighed. "Just take me to the nearest filly's room, please," she said quietly. "We can look for Pinkie afterwards, if that's okay with you."

I stood there in a stunned silence for a moment, then nodded and reached for her hand again. "Okay, let's go then," I agreed.

Fluttershy took my hand and I guided her through the mass of people towards the nearest women's restroom, which turned out to be fairly close by. When we arrived, I took her aside before she went in.

"Hey, you going to be okay in there by yourself?" I asked. "It's just like at home, so you should be fine. Right?"

When her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red, I shut up and blushed slightly myself.

"Right, sorry," I mumbled. "Go ahead and do your thing. I'll wait out here."

Once she had entered the bathroom, I sat down on a nearby bench to think. The first thing to come to mind was that I had been unfair to Fluttershy. It was unrealistic to expect someone to concentrate if they had to 'go.' Besides, for all I knew the ponies might have smaller bladders than those of a normal human. I shook my head to clear it of that subject. It wasn't important - what was important was finding Pinkie and Angel quickly before they ended up in some kind of trouble. Angel could be just about anywhere. The last time I remembered seeing him was back at the cinema. I hadn't been paying attention afterwards, as I'd been too focused on getting to the kids' clothing store quickly. It was foolish, all this trouble could have been avoided if I had simply held his hand as we navigated the mall.

Then there was Pinkie. Who knew what mischief she could get up to? She was Pinkie Pie, after all. Visions of the mall's bakeries and candy shops being ransacked and left in shambles appeared in my mind. What would happen if Pinkie was arrested? There was no way to explain who she was to the police, especially since her false ID hadn't been made yet. Not that it would matter much, I doubted that a false ID would fool anyone who was actively seeking information on the Equestrians' pasts.

I sighed. How could a simple trip to the mall end up being so disastrous? I still needed to get the Equestrians some more outfits, too. Taking care of them was beginning to get expensive. Sure, I was fairly well-off financially, but I wouldn't remain that way if I continued to spend at the rate that I was. With a grunt, I reached into my back pocket for my wallet. I needed to check on how much cash I had on me so I could hopefully avoid using the credit cards.

I froze in disbelief, then frantically checked my front pockets just as Fluttershy emerged from the restroom.

"Oh! Is everything okay?" she asked quizzically with eyebrows raised.

"It's gone!" I stammered. "Somebody stole my wallet!"

How? my mind kept asking.

My keys, wallet, and phone were three things that were almost always located in my pockets. I also have a habit of, and some might say an obsession with, checking my pockets regularly to ensure that everything is where it is supposed to be. This habit had paid off many times in the past when I had left one or more of the items on the bedside table or somewhere in the lounge. Because I always, always check my pockets before leaving the apartment, I knew that my wallet had been with me as I walked out the door.

Additionally, having lived in Detroit for some time, I had prided myself on having never been pick-pocketed, even when old high school friends had tried on multiple occasions to do so as a prank. I caught them every time. The wallet wouldn't have just fallen out of my pocket either, so whoever swiped it was probably a pro.

"I can't believe it," I muttered. "First Adam, then Diane, and now my wallet. Don't you disappear on me too, Felicia."

Fluttershy sat down next to me. "Oh, okay. I um, didn't intend to. But now I'll try extra-hard not to," she said with conviction.

"Well, thank you," I said. We were quiet for a few minutes while I pondered what to do next. Finally, I stood up. "I guess our most important task is to find Adam," I announced. "I'm worried about Diane, and my wallet going missing is a big problem, but Adam's eyes are... different. Maybe we can pretend that he's into weird contact lenses, but he's not going to know to say that, is he?" I stopped and thought about what I had just said. "What am I talking about? He can't say anything! Ugh, let's just go and find him."

Fluttershy stood up, but as she took my hand, her eyes met mine. "Would you mind it very much if I asked you to follow me?" she inquired. We really didn't have time for any more delays, but judging by how she had reacted earlier...

"Sure, lead the way," I said. I had no idea what she was up to, but I wasn't about to try to upset her again.

She gave a small smile, then began leading me through the mall. We didn't have very far to walk though, because she simply led me back to the kids' clothing store. After a quick look around, she led me to an empty bench nearby and sat down upon it.

"Um, what are we..." I began.

"Have a seat," Fluttershy said, patting the bench beside her. Confused, I sat down and placed my head in my hands. I was beginning to get a headache.

"Why are we sitting down?" I asked. "Ang... Adam and Diane are still out there, and I still need to go check the Lost and Found to see if anyone handed over my wallet." I didn't have much hope of that happening, but it was worth checking into, at least.

"I think everything will be okay if we stay here," she commented casually. "We'll look for your wallet in a little while."

"I... what?" I gasped. "No! We can't just sit here, Pinkie's on the loose, and who knows where Angel might have gone! We have to go find them, we have to..."

"Heya, Captain!" called out a familiar voice.

I looked up to see Pinkie striding towards us carrying several plastic bags marked with the Target logo. Behind her was Angel, with several bags depicting the Cotton on Kids logo in his hands. He walked over and tossed the bags onto the bench beside us, then fished something out from one of his pockets and tossed it at me, where it bounced off my chest and into my lap. I looked down and saw...

"You stole my wallet?" I sputtered, looking around at the bags. "You stole my wallet and... and bought clothes? What the bloody hell!"

Angel looked at the bags, over to the wallet, and finally up at my face and nodded.

"Yeah, isn't that great?" Pinkie beamed, sitting down and rummaging through the bags. "You said we wanted to get the shopping done quickly, so he ran ahead like the smart little bunny he is and got it all done for us! What do you think of this outfit, isn't it amazing?" she asked, holding up a light pink dress.

I stared in disbelief at the three Equestrians as they admired the clothing.

"But he ran off without me!" I exclaimed.

Pinkie burst into a fit of giggles. "Oh, Dougie. Even though he might look like one, Angel's not a child. He can handle himself! Besides," she added, "even if he did get lost, he can always find his way back to Fluttershy."

"That's how he found our camp the other day," Fluttershy explained. "I never worry about where Angel goes, because I trust him to find his way back." She patted Angel on the head. "Always."

Pinkie must have noticed the look on my face, so she explained. "Look, when we first got here a few days ago, I admit we were a teeny tiny bit confused about what to do and how this place worked. I mean, there are a whole bunch of things here that are just like they are back in Equestria. But there are also all these other amazing things we've never seen before, and it helps to have a friend like you to show us how those things work!" She put her arms around Fluttershy and Angel and continued. "But we're not completely helpless! I mean, come on! We've fought against all kinds of mean old baddies back home. Things that were a lot scarier than just a crowd. What's so scary about a crowd, anyway? All you have to do is say 'excuse me,' or duck out of the way, or go around, or you can crawl under..."

"Okay, okay. I get it," I assured the Equestrians. I breathed out a long sigh and addressed the group. "I guess I owe you all an apology. I got a bit worked up over nothing because I was worried. But," I made sure I had their attention, "I don't think I need to remind you that there are still plenty of things here on Earth that are very dangerous, especially if you've never dealt with them before. So while I agree that I should cut you all a little more slack, I need you all to promise me to be careful, especially if I'm not around. Okay?"

The three of them all agreed, much to my relief.

"Um, Doug?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Can we go get something to eat? Somewhere other than here?"

I laughed. "Yeah, let's get out of here. I think we've been here long enough."

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, in a good way. We had lunch at McDonald's, with the Equestrians getting salads, as usual, and me getting a Filet-o-Fish meal. It turns out that fish aren't sentient in Equestria, so I was free to eat them without making the others nauseous. After our meal, I stopped by a local Coles supermarket and took everyone in with me to get some groceries and other general supplies that they would be needing. I even let Fluttershy and Angel wander off to explore while Pinkie and I took care of getting what we needed. We all met up at the checkout area without incident.

After a quick trip home to unload the groceries, we went back out into the city, where we spent several hours walking around and seeing the sights. We walked along Darling Harbor, then north to Circular Quay to see the Sydney Opera House and the Royal Botanic Gardens. I had a tourist take a picture of the four of us in front of the Opera House while we were there, and I was thrilled to see that it came out perfectly.

We finally dragged ourselves into the apartment just as dusk was arriving. Everyone's feet were sore from being out all day, and we were all eager to get an early night's rest. Pinkie and I in particular were both exhausted from our inability to sleep the previous night. It was strange, as it seemed like ages ago that we had sat on the bathroom floor and discussed our problems to each other.

With the girls tucked into bed and Angel fast asleep on the couch, I shifted to get comfortable in my sleeping bag. I realized then that I had forgotten to check my emails when we got home. It was no matter; it could wait until morning. With that settled, I closed my eyes and finally drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the extremely loud sound of Lady Gaga.

I want your ugly,

I want your disease.

I want your everything,

As long as it's free.

I want your love.

Love, love, love,

I want you love.

"Bloody hell!" I screamed. "Oh god, turn it off!"

I want your drama,

The touch of your hand.

I want your leather-studded

Kiss in the sand.

I want your love.

Love, love, love,

I want your love.

"Turn it off!" I yelled again, crawling towards the stereo system and lunging at it. I managed to find the off button and was rewarded with sweet silence. Furious, I spun around to see a blushing Pinkie Pie trying to hide behind my DVD rack.

"Sorry!" she squealed. "Fluttershy and I woke up and I thought it would be nice to play her favorite song for her, but then I put the disc in the slot thingy and it started playing way too loudly and I couldn't figure out how to make it play quieter, and then you woke up and started screaming and yelling and so I hid over here!"

I stared at her for nearly a full minute before letting out a long sigh and glancing at the wall clock. It read eleven forty-three.

"Christ, it's almost noon. I guess it was time to wake up anyway, so it's okay," I said.

Fluttershy poked her head out from around the corner in the hallway. "Is... is it safe to come out now?"

I sighed again and chuckled a little. "Yes, it's safe. I'm not going to do anything, just please don't touch anything unless I teach you how to use it first." I stood up and turned the computer on. It was as good a time as any to check my emails and private messages.

"Um, we made the bed and had breakfast already, too," Fluttershy said. "We were trying to be quiet."

"It's fine, no worries," I said as I clicked on my emails. I instantly deleted the spam and various advertisements, but two emails caught my eye. "Hey, we finally got a response from Fullmetal Pony. And guess what? There's something from Ashton, too."

Almost immediately, all three Equestrians had crowded around me. I didn't even see where Angel came from, though I found out later that he had been in the kitchen cleaning dishes. They all wanted to see Fullmetal Pony's response, especially since it's said 'Safe' in the subject line.

"Okay, okay, I'll open it up. Here we go," I said as I clicked on the email. It read:

First, the girls are safe. Apple Bloom even managed to drive off Discord and Scootaloo and Sweetie saved my life. I've still wound up with a cracked rib and a broken arm though.

I’m relieved that you and everyone else made it out okay.

I don’t know how but Scootaloo was able to use her wings to at least save me from more severe injuries. I don’t know if it’s connected to Discord, but this is the first time any of them have done something like that.

Moving on, I might be traveling in a few days as my school got shut down from Discord's attack, but I'll be taking the girls with me.

Don't worry, everyone thinks that the stunts Discord pulled were hallucinations. Everyone is lying low now just in case.

If you need to contact me my email is strawhat_pony@cmail.net and my number (know it’s a little pricy overseas but need it for emergencies) is 555-444-3321.

I’m working on the pictures right now. My friend is giving Sweetie and Scootaloo a dye job so their hair looks normal.

Attached is the one picture I have so far. Stay safe.

-John

"Hmm, well at least nobody knows what really happened over there," I observed. It would be a problem if he had to explain Discord to the United States government.

"What does he mean about Scootaloo using her wings?" Pinkie said. "Did she somehow keep them when she got zapped into this world?"

"I'm not sure," I said. "Wait, you can read all of that?"

Pinkie nodded. "Uh huh, it's a lot easier now. I don't even have to squint anymore."

"I just see squiggly lines," Fluttershy said with a small shrug.

"Well anyway, we have his phone number now. It shouldn't be too late in the US right now, so I should give him a call and see how he's feeling. We need him to be fit for air travel," I pointed out.

"What about the picture he sent?" Pinkie reminded me.

"Oh, right!"

I clicked on the attachment and watched as the image file opened up. Soon, the smiling faces of three little girls appeared on my screen.

"Oh my gosh, they're so cute! Even as humans!" Fluttershy gushed.

Pinkie agreed. "Awww, they're just so cute I could squeeze them all up in a big hug right now! I hope they're all okay. At least they look okay in the photo."

It was true. The girls looked healthy and happy in the picture. It was clear that this John, or Fullmetal_Pony, was taking good care of them, or at least trying to. I stared at the image for a few more moments. It would be exciting for the girls to finally be reunited with Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel. I looked over and saw big, genuine smiles on all three of the Equestrians' faces.

"I'm certain they're fine," I said, taking my phone out of my pocket. "I'm going to give John a call, okay?"

The Equestrians were too busy looking at the photo and talking excitedly amongst themselves to notice. Without any further delay, I dialled the number mentioned in the email. After a few rings, someone picked up.

"Hello?" asked a voice on the other end. It sounded young.

“G’day, is this John?” I asked.

“Um, speaking,” he said. “Who’s calling?”

“It’s TheSlorg, though I reckon you can call me Doug. You alright mate?”

“Oh thank God,” John said with a sigh. “I read that email and was worried he’d gotten you too. I’ve seen better days though. Discord did a number on me. I’ve got a busted rib and a broken arm. The Crusaders are safe though.”

I'd seen that he had been injured, but hearing it again was still a bit sobering.

“Christ. Well at least the girls are safe. Where are they now?”

“Laying low with my friends," he responded. "They’re also taking care of getting pictures... that one I sent probably wasn’t suitable.”

“It wasn't,” I said. I didn't mean to be short with him.

“Sorry.”

I looked over to see the Equestrians still chatting happily about the picture. “No worries. It was nice to see them though. It cheered Pinkie and Fluttershy right up.”

“Oh, did Discord try to get to them too?” John asked. He sounded a little nervous.

“We managed to drive him away before he found out who they were," I answered. "It’s been tough on them though, what with trying to adapt to being human. They took it really hard when we found out Celestia lost her magic. We were hoping that she’d be the key to getting them home.”

“Did you just say Celestia?!” John exclaimed. I knew that would get his attention.

“Yeah, the princess is in Atlanta with someone I can trust, but it’s not all good news." I figured I could trust John, so I didn't hesitate to give him the information. "When she lost her horn, she lost her magic. I'm guessing you already saw that Discord seems to be able to do magic just fine. I can’t imagine what he’d do if he found Celestia powerless.”

“Hmm, they might not be entirely powerless," John replied. "I'm only talking to you because Sweetie and Scootaloo saved me with hovering and magic... I think.”

“They did what?” I exclaimed. I had read about Scootaloo's wings, but the implications hadn't actually sunk in yet.

“I know I saw something on Scootaloo’s back right before I passed out, and my friends saw Sweetie’s head glowing. It’s not much, but from what the doctors say, it may have saved my skin," John said.

“So there’s some hope after all,” I said quietly to myself. If the Crusaders could somehow get their magic back... “How soon can you get me the pictures of the girls? We can’t do anything until your papers are finished.” We had to get that sorted out as soon as possible.

“I’ll call my friends as soon as we finish this call," he responded. "Hopefully the dye job on Sweetie and Scootaloo won’t take long... so Pinkie and Fluttershy are okay?”

Hmm...

"One moment," I said, setting the phone down. I stood up and walked over to where Pinkie and Fluttershy was sitting. "Hey Pinkie, would you like to talk to him? He's asking about you and Fluttershy."

Pinkie's eyes lit up instantly. "Oh really!? Yes please!" I handed her the phone. “So I just talk into this thing and he can hear me?" she asked. I nodded. "He can hear me right now?” I nodded again. She took a few deep breaths, then spoke into the phone. "Hello?"

A moment later, she squealed in delight and looked at me. "Oh my gosh, he said something! Can you believe it?”

I tried to keep from laughing and pointed at the phone, urging her to continue.

She raised the phone up again and began speaking rapidly. “Hi! I'm Pinkie. Isn't this amazing? It’s like talking to a unicorn with an invisibility spell on, and I should know because I've had a lot, and I mean a lot of unicorns go invisible when I come near. It’s like playing hide and seek! Oooh, are you hiding from me now?” With that, Pinkie looked under the chaise as if John was hiding underneath it. A moment later, she continued. “Uh, hello? That means you are hiding from me. Otherwise I’d be able to see you, silly!" Another moment of silence as John said something, then, “Hmm, well you’re not doing a very good job of not hiding. I can’t find you anywhere. Anyway, Doug says you found Sweetie, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom. How are they, are they okay? Have you played lots of games together?”

I shook my head and turned my attention to Fluttershy. "So how are your feet today, still sore?" I asked.

"Oh, they're feeling much better," she replied. "Thank you for asking. Are yours okay?"

"Uh, yeah mine are fine. I guess it's good that we slept in today." Had I been told a few weeks back that I'd be sitting on the floor discussing foot pain with Fluttershy, I'd have laughed. Oh how things change.

My thoughts were interrupted when Pinkie suddenly stood up, handed the phone to me, and strode into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Confused, I raised the phone to my ear.

“Hey, this is Doug," I said. "What happened? Pinkie just handed me the phone and walked out of the room.”

“Oh crap! Tell her I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! I just wanted to know if they knew anything about the girls’ siblings.”

He had asked about Applejack and Rarity. No wonder Pinkie ran off, she missed them both desperately.

“Oh no...” I whispered into the phone. “Look, I'm going to put Fluttershy on for a few minutes. It’s not your fault, the girls are just under a lot of stress and miss their friends. We only know the whereabouts of the Crusaders and Celestia. Everypony else is missing. I should have warned you. Here, I’ll get Fluttershy now. I need to go talk to Pinkie.” I covered the phone with a hand and whispered to Fluttershy. "Hey, can you talk to him for a few minutes? I need to check on Pinkie." With that, I handed her the phone and ran into the hallway.

I stopped in front of the bedroom door and knocked gently. There was no answer, so I slowly opened the door and peeked my head inside. Pinkie was sitting with her back against the bed, staring straight ahead.

"Hey," I said gently. "Are you okay?"

Pinkie closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths before answering. "Yes, I'm okay. I just... I miss them so much. But it's like you said, right? We can't just go and find the others all at once. It has to be little by little. I know that, I just needed to... to get away for a while."

I took a seat next to her and leaned up against the bed as well. "Hey, look," I said, trying to change the mood. "We're sitting on the floor again and talking about our problems. Should we relocate to the bathroom?"

Pinkie smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. I knew then that she was not okay, and it broke my heart to see her struggling to keep a brave face.

"Pinkie?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"It's okay to cry. I understand."

She turned to face me, but only managed to meet my eyes for a moment before breaking down into sobs. I leaned over and hugged her, holding her head to my shoulder. I didn't mind, bottling it all up inside would do her no good.

"I'm s-sorry," she sobbed. "I know everything will... be okay. I just..."

"Shhhh..." I whispered. "It's okay, you've gone through a lot. I don't know what I'd do if I was in your situation, but I bet crying would be involved at some point."

At that moment, the bedroom door opened and Fluttershy peeked her head in.

"Oh, um, did I come at a bad time?" she said. "I'm sorry! Um, well... John say's he's very sorry. Okay, I'm going to go now." With that, she withdrew her head and closed the door again.

We sat on the floor for several long moments, the silence only broken by the occasional sob. Eventually, Pinkie leaned back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands.

"Thank you," she said. "I think... I guess I needed that."

"I think you probably did. We're going to get your friends back to you, so you don't need to worry about that," I said. "But if you ever feel lonely, and just can't take it any more, let me know. I'll be here for you."

Pinkie was silent for a while, then, "Doug, could you send Fluttershy in here? She's probably all embarrassed about earlier and... well, I'd just like her company if you don't mind."

I gave her shoulder a squeeze and stood up. "No problem, I'll go get her. Take care, alright?" With that said, I left the bedroom and walked back into the lounge. I heard Fluttershy talking.

"Here, Doug’s back. Maybe he can cheer you up, too? Here he is,” she said, handing the phone over to me.

“Can you go see her?” I whispered to Fluttershy, who nodded and left to go to the bedroom. I turned my attention to the phone. “Hello? Sorry about that, mate.”

“I messed up,” came the reply.

“No, don’t beat yourself up about it. Pinkie and Fluttershy both have been worried, and it’s all I can do to try to think up ways to keep them happy.” I sighed. “She’ll come around eventually.”

“Okay,” John replied. He seemed nervous again. “Seems I'm not the best for taking care of ponies.”

“None of us are,” I said, getting serious. “They don’t belong here, mate. It’s too much for them to handle. All they've ever known is Equestria, and it’s better that way. They need to be protected from violence. Corruption. Hatred. They need to be protected from...” I paused for a moment as I realized what I was about to say. “Humanity.”

The phone was silent for a moment. Finally, John said, “The girls are too young to understand most of it.”

I let out a another long sigh. “It’s so much...” I began. The trials I'd been through were beginning to catch up with me. “I've done everything I can, but it’s not enough.” I paused for another moment. “Discord nearly had us. I was moments away from choosing to stand and fight. Angel handed me the knife, but it’s the Spirit of Chaos, you know?” Another pause. “How can we win against that?”

“I'm worried too," John said. At least I wasn't the only one. "I couldn't do anything... but those kids were able to save me and drive him off. If a bunch of little girls can do that, it can’t be all bad, right?”

I looked back at the picture of the Crusaders on my computer screen and smiled slightly. “You have a point. How’d they manage it, anyway?”

“Um...” There was an awkward moment of silence. “I was knocked out, but Apple Bloom, well she kinda... kicked him where the sun doesn't shine.”

The image of Discord reeling in pain, surrounded by three little girls, popped into my mind. I began to chuckle, and soon I was outright laughing at the situation. “I’d love to have seen that," I said. "So that’s what Ashton meant, I guess. He mentioned Discord nursing his manhood. So it was Apple Bloom that got him? That’s great." I smiled. "Tell them I'm proud of them next time you see them.” I paused and shook my head in wonder. "Those kids are something else when they work together. Their friendship really is...” I paused again for a moment as something clicked in my mind. “magic...” I trailed off quietly.

“Heh, well it’s where they’re from... I think.” John replied, but I wasn't paying much attention. “I really should ask them if the show is accur—”

“Wait a minute...” I interrupted him. “Hold on, we might be onto something here.” Could it be true? It seemed to make sense, but I had to try to confirm it with John. “You have all three girls, right?”

“Um, yes? You saw the picture right?”

“Bloody hell. Bloody Hell! Celestia's all alone!" I exclaimed. It made perfect sense once I thought about it. "Fluttershy’s still good with animals, but not as well as in the show, and Pinkie can still do the things she does. But they’re both together with me, just like the Crusaders are all together...”

The line was silent on John's end for a moment. “I don’t follow," he said, finally.

“What if that’s it? What if their friendship is their magic? Think about it, mate. The Crusaders basically did magic or something, right?” He had to understand what I was getting at.

“Yeah, at least I know Scootaloo hovered a little,” he said.

“And Pinkie still defies physics... but not nearly as often as she does in the show. Yeah, think about it! It took having me break a Pinkie promise before she did anything strange. And Fluttershy was still good with animals the few times we've been around them, but it wasn't like in the show. You still with me?” I asked.

“I think I'm getting it a bit...” There was another slight pause. “Can Pinkie sense Pinkie promises?”

“Probably, but that’s besides the point. Look, this might not be anything at all, but the princess is alone and powerless,” I explained.

“What can we do about that?” John asked.

“I don’t think she’d remain powerless if she was in the company of her friends.” There was a small gasp from the other end of the line. “Look, I’ll say it again. It might not be anything, but I think we need to get you and the Crusaders here as quickly as possible. Then we can just sit back and... well, we’ll see what happens, but I have a feeling things will get interesting quickly.”

“Let’s just hope Discord doesn't come back... I’ll get on the pictures as soon as we’re done here. If you need them, you have my email and they have my computer.” Good, I needed the pictures so we could get the paperwork started.

“Okay. Okay, let’s not get too excited just yet," I said, thinking. "Look, I need to go take care of Pinkie right now, but I’ll keep an eye out for some updated photos. We need to get the papers to you as soon as possible.”

“Got it. Also, I promised Fluttershy I’d call tomorrow and put the Crusaders on. Is that okay?” John asked.

A call with the Crusaders would almost certainly lift everyone's spirits. “That would be great," I said. "They could really use a good morale boost, and I'm sure that’d do the trick.” I looked over at the bedroom door. “Alright, I need to go now. Just one last thing. If Discord does show up again, keep an eye on Ashton. He’s a lying psycho, but... well, he helped me out. More than once.”

John sighed. “I don’t know what to make of him... Being cautious is probably the best thing we can do around him. At least now we know him being around isn't a good sign.” He had a point.

“Maybe. Just get me those pictures soon. At the very least, the Equestrians will be much happier once they’re together.”

“My friends are on it," John said. "I’ll go check on it right now. Tell Pinkie I'm sorry.”

“Will do. Take care of yourself,” I said.

“I’ll do the best a man in the hospital can. See ya.” With that, he hung up.

I put the phone in my pocket and headed toward the bedroom door. I had a feeling that hearing my thoughts on how meeting their friends could strengthen their magic would cheer the former ponies right up.

The Voice of an Angel

The Voice of an Angel
April 19th 2012

“Haha, take that, Yellow Bomber!” Pinkie squealed victoriously. She looked over at Fluttershy and gave her friend a playful nudge, then adjusted her grip on the controller and focused on the television once again. She was in a heated battle for first place, and couldn’t afford to spend too much time celebrating.

“Okay...” Fluttershy conceded. With a glance at her score, she sighed. Though she still couldn’t read English, she knew what the number next to her in-game avatar meant: zero. She was okay with that, though. She was content to see how long she could survive by finding new brick walls to hide behind and running or hiding whenever another bomber drew near.

Bomberman Live probably wasn’t the best introduction to human video games available, but it seemed to be acceptable to the Equestrians and easy enough to learn. I wanted to avoid any games where the object was to shoot your opponent, so the majority of my game collection was already ruled out. A game where the objective was to bomb your opponent probably wasn’t much better, but at least it was cartoony and not graphic.

A good party game was what I needed to get my mind off of what I had seen earlier in the day. After my call with John ended, I had gone back to my bedroom to tell the Equestrians my thoughts on how being reunited with their friends might lead to the return of their abilities. I knew there were plenty of flaws with this logic using conventional wisdom, but seeing as everything I knew about science had been proven to be incomplete at best with the arrival of the Equestrians, it was as good a theory as any to work with.

The Equestrians had, as expected, been quite happy to hear my idea. I was careful enough to caution them that I could be completely wrong, but they all seemed happy just to have a goal to work towards. There were no problems with giving it a try as far as they were concerned. The problem was with the email from Ashton, which I read in the living room by myself after leaving the Equestrians alone to discuss the eventual arrival of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The subject line was enough to make me realize that I probably wasn’t going to enjoy reading it.

GREETINGS FROM THE FUTURE! In the past. This will totally make sense.

The future huh. In the past. Obviously, Discord’s influence had rubbed off on Ashton quite a bit. I had known him under the screen name of Draequine on the pony fiction site and he had always been a bit odd, but this went well beyond his usual eccentricities.

Okay so hows it going? Me, I’m just fine! COMPLETELY FINE yupyupyup you might as well ignore this like you are right now because you are a horrible person. Just read FMPs pm and call him asap. Let pinkie have her little breakdown. My bad about the whole hag thing with angel.

Besides the awful grammar, the first thing that jumped out at me was the mention of Pinkie having a breakdown. Pinkie had been acting strange at the picnic with Discord, but I didn’t think anyone could have predicted that she was emotionally drained as opposed to simply wanting to party. Additionally, why had he called me a horrible person? I thought we had left on as good of terms as we could have. I couldn’t figure it out, and I had no idea what the ‘hag thing’ with Angel was supposed to mean. It was just more weird nonsense as far as I was concerned, so I had continued reading.

Alright so you learned the whole Friendship is magic dealio thing-a-magjig right? Theres more to it then you think. Will I tell you the full story? NO! Hahahahahaha. Anyhow I gotta favor to ask yah.

That had caught my attention. How did he know about my theory? Could Discord read minds? If that were the case, he would have known who Pinkie and Fluttershy were at the picnic. I scratched my beard and wondered at how Ashton had basically said that he wouldn’t tell me everything he knows, yet he wanted me to do him a favor. That’s not exactly the best way to get what you want from someone...

Punch me in the face the next time you see me.

Right in the face!

Don’t ask why, just do it.

oh and you might get kicked out of your house soon.

Toodles!

Luv ashton.

P.S. the code is 95489

On the other hand, there was a part of me that was more than happy to comply with his request. He might be warped by Discord, but all the lies and riddles weren’t helping us at all, and telling me that I’d get kicked out of my home just wasn’t funny. I didn’t even want to know what he thought the ‘code’ was supposed to be for. If he wanted me to punch him in the face the next time I saw him, I would do just that. As long as the Equestrians weren’t watching at the time.

“Ooh, good one, Angel!” Pinkie shouted, bringing my thoughts back to the present.

I looked up to see that my character had long since been bombed, and that Angel had managed to trap Pinkie’s character between a bomb and three walls, winning him the match. The screen flashed and displayed the White Bomber dancing victoriously as the pink, yellow, and green bombers stood around looking dejected.

Fluttershy stretched her arms and let out a little yawn, then set her controller down. “I think I might go to bed now, if it’s okay with you all,” she announced.

I glanced at the clock which showed the time to be just after ten at night. “Bloody hell, it’s later than I thought,” I admitted. I stood up to turn the game console off. “I’ll just quickly check the emails again, then we can call it a night.”

Angel put his controller away and hopped onto his spot on the chaise while Pinkie and Fluttershy got ready to go to the bedroom. None of them were really paying any attention to the computer when I brought up my emails and saw one from John. The subject line said CMC Pictures, and it immediately had my attention.

“Hey, the pictures of the girls finally came in,” I announced.

There was a small flurry of movement as the Equestrians all gathered around the screen. We had already seen a picture of the Crusaders before, but it seemed like we were all still excited to see the new ones. I opened the email, which was from someone named Sybil even though it had been sent from John’s email address.

John asked me to send these with his computer. Talk to him if you need anything else.

Straight to the point. I wasn’t sure what to think of Sybil, but that wasn’t important just then. I clicked on the attached files one at a time.

The first image was of Sweetie Belle, though you wouldn’t know it at first glance. Her normally violet and white hair had been dyed a dull-brown color, though I could still see some of the original colors near the roots. Sweetie’s eyes were slightly crossed as they focused on a stray lock of hair that had fallen down her forehead.

The next image was of Scootaloo. Her purplish hair seemed to have been colored using the same dye that Sweetie had used. In contrast to Sweetie, Scootaloo was looking directly at the camera with a somewhat brash look on her face. She had probably been trying to imitate Rainbow Dash.

Lastly, there was an image of Apple Bloom. Her hair hadn’t been dyed at all, and was the same vivid red color it had been before. She was simply smiling, and her photo could have passed for the perfect school yearbook photo that every kid wishes they could take, but never seems to be able to pull off.

“Rarity’s going to faint if she sees Sweetie looking like that,” Pinkie observed.

I turned my attention to Pinkie. “Are you okay with, you know, talking about the others?” I asked. Another breakdown was the last thing we needed.

Pinkie smiled. “Yeah, it’s okay,” she said. Suddenly, she was giggling. “Imagining the look that would be on Rarity’s face is hilarious!” She then made several funny faces to illustrate for us.

“Well, these should be good enough,” I stated. “I’m going to send them off to Moey so he can get started on their passports. With any luck, we’ll have everything ready within a few days.” I began composing a new message addressed to my friend since it was too late at night to call him. Within a few minutes the message was completed and the pictures had been sent off.

As I switched my computer off and turned to the Equestrians, I realized that this was the first night since meeting them that we all seemed to be genuinely happy. The girls left for the bedroom, whispering excitedly about getting to see the Crusaders soon, and Angel hopped back onto the chaise and almost immediately fell asleep with a small smile on his face. Retrieving my sleeping bag from the linen closet and getting settled on the floor, I hoped that things would stay that way for a while.

Instead of Lady Gaga, I was awoken by the sound of James Hetfield’s singing as my phone’s ring tone, Metallica’s The Unforgiven, went off. I opened my eyes, noticing that Angel was awake and giving the phone a wary look, and reached over to answer it.

“Hello?” I muttered, giving a silent yawn.

“Doug?” a voice asked.

“Yeah. Is this John?” I propped myself up on an elbow.

“Yep,” he replied. “The girls doing any better?”

I gave a small grunt that came out as more of a snort. “Yeah, they’re alright. Pinkie... well, that was going to happen to her anyway. She had a lot of built-up stress. It’s probably best that she let it all out when she did.” I glanced towards the hallway leading to the bedroom. “Fluttershy and Angel are coping pretty well for the moment. How about the Crusaders? And you, for that matter.”

John gave a small chuckle. “Heh, better. The painkillers they gave me packed a bit of a punch the first time I took them... as for the Crusaders, well...” he gave a slight pause. “Perhaps they could tell you themselves. Oh! But would it be possible to put this call on speaker so that every... um... one can hear and talk?”

“Sure,” I replied, moving my phone away from my ear and pressing the speakerphone button. “There, it’s on. I need to go get the girls, I think they were sleeping in. Angel’s here though, I’ll hand it to him for a moment.” I gave the phone to Angel, then jogged over to the bedroom door and opened it.

Pinkie and Fluttershy were still asleep under the covers. Under any other normal circumstances, I would have let them stay asleep. Instead, I walked to the side of the bed and gently nudged them.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Hey, wake up. There’s someone on the phone for you.”

The only reply I received were small snores from Pinkie and quiet breathing from Fluttershy.

“Hey, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are on the phone and...” I began.

Pinkie suddenly sat straight up in bed. “The girls are on the phone!?” she gasped. “Girls! It’s your auntie Pinkie!” she yelled as she bumped Fluttershy clear off the bed in her haste to get to the living room.

“Get some clothes on first, Pinkie!” I called after her. She was still in her undergarments. “Hey! Don’t blow raspberries at me; get back here this instant!”

“Ooow, what just happened?” Fluttershy grunted from where she landed on the floor. She stood up gingerly, holding her backside.

My attention was still on Pinkie, who had already run into the other room. I ran to the door and loudly whispered, “No parties for a year if you don’t get back here and get dressed right now.”

Pinkie sighed loudly and spoke towards the phone that Angel was holding. “Fine! I’ll be right back, girls! Someone’s being a meany-pants. I mean, really. It’s not like anyone can see...”

“Go on!” I cut her off. “The quicker you get dressed, the quicker you can talk.” Pinkie skipped towards the bedroom, blowing one last raspberry before disappearing inside. I rolled my eyes and took the phone from Angel. “Sorry about that, she got a little too excited.”

“Beats seeing her sad,” John’s voice replied. “Anyway, now might as well be a good time for introductions. Girls, say hi to Doug and introduce yourselves.”

“Okay,” came a small, country-accented voice. “Howdy, Ah’m Apple Bloom.”

Angel gave me an odd look. It was probably due to the grin that had appeared on my face. Apple Bloom continued, though her voice didn’t seem to be directed towards the phone.

“This doesn’t really feel right. Granny Smith always said ya look a pony in the eye and shake their hoof when you meet them,” she stated.

“It’s usually the same here,”John replied in the background, “but this is an exception. It was the only way we could have talked with Pinkie and Fluttershy.”

“Pinkie and Fluttershy?!” a new voice gasped. “Wow, thanks for finding them mister... I’m Scootaloo by the way.”

“And I’m Sweetie Belle,” Sweetie sang from the other end. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

It was a bit overwhelming for me. I had always thought the Cutie Mark Crusaders were adorable, and now hearing them over the phone was almost too much. I recovered quickly enough to avoid too much awkward silence, thankfully. “Hi girls, I’ll have your friends here to talk in a moment, they’re just getting ready. It’s a real pleasure to meet you.” I said. I looked over to Angel, who was looking at the phone as if it were a carrot salad. “Angel is here, if you want to say Hi.”

“Fluttershy’s pet bunny? Why’s he...” Apple Bloom began. Her voice grew stressed suddenly. “Oh no! If Angel is here, what if Winnona is, too? What if she’s stuck somewhere and Ah ca—”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” John’s voice cut in. “She’s an Apple family dog, right?” I was impressed with his quick thinking.

“Yeah...” Apple Bloom answered. She sounded like she was considering his words.

“If we were scared, imagine how scared a bunny would be,” Sweetie observed.

“Mr. Doug, can we talk to Angel?” Scootaloo asked. “I mean, he’s probably okay if he’s with Fluttershy, but he probably misses his other friends.”

“... or siblings,” Sweetie whispered.

I looked over to Angel. His face was unreadable, but for some reason I had the feeling that he felt miserable. I had never once given any thought that he might have other friends or siblings that he wanted to get back to, and I suddenly felt quite awkward for having suggested that he talk to them.

“Well girls, Angel can’t really talk. You... can understand him sometimes with his body language, I’m guessing? Well...” I trailed off.

“Well, he is a bunny,” replied Scootaloo.

“Yeah, Ah’ve never heard of a talking bunny,” said Apple Bloom.

“What would they talk about anyway?” asked Sweetie.

I looked back over at Angel, who had his hand extended towards the phone. “Uh, Angel seems to want the phone anyway. I guess you can at least say hello to him. The girls... your friends should be here shortly. Here’s Angel,” I said, handing the phone over.

Angel stared at the phone.

“Um...” Scootaloo began. “This is really weird.”

“Yeaaaah,” John said. “Same thing happened when I had to talk to him last night. Well, at least he’s a good listener.” That got a giggle out of the girls.

“Ah think he’d thump ya on the head if he was here,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, he was really mad at us when we got back from the Everfree the one time,” Sweetie admitted.

“Don’t remind me,” Scootaloo said. “My head still hurts when I think ab—”

“You okay?” I interrupted, my eyes on Angel. He had suddenly begun to make a strange hacking noise, as if he were choking. I stood up, ready to assist if necessary; I had never seen him act like that before.

Angel seemed to be concentrating. “Hhh...hhhhhhag? Hhhag?” he said. My legs gave out on me and I sat hard on the chaise.

“Bloody son of a....” I stammered. “You can talk? You can talk?!”

“Hag?” Angel replied.

“Who’s that?” asked Sweetie over the phone.

At that moment, Fluttershy emerged from the bedroom. “Oh, is everything okay out here? W-was that Sweetie Belle I just heard?”

“Fluttershy!” the voices of the Crusaders called out in unison.

I motioned for Fluttershy to come closer. “Fluttershy, listen to this!”

“I’m baaaaack!” Pinkie yelled as she emerged from the bedroom at that moment. She was finally dressed, and broke into a fit of giggles at the prospect of talking to the girls.

“Oh, um... what am I listening to?” Fluttershy asked curiously.

“Hag!” Angel replied triumphantly. He looked a lot healthier and happier than he had a few moments before.

Pinkie and Fluttershy both gasped.

“Doug?” John asked hesitantly. “What’s going on? Who’s there and why does he sound like he’s coughing up a furball?”

I realized that I had completely forgotten about the phone call. “John? Sorry, mate. Are you hearing this? That’s Angel and he’s trying to talk!”

“What?!” came a chorus of voices from the other end of the line.

“Awww,” Fluttershy cooed. “He just wanted to say hello to his friends! I’m sooo proud of you! Oh, um... are you still there, girls? I thought I heard Sweetie Belle...”

“Yep!” Sweetie chirped. “I’m here and so are the rest of the Crusaders!”

“Yeah!” yelled Apple Bloom and Scootaloo in unison.

“Oh hi girls!” Fluttershy exclaimed as she walked over and gave Angel a big hug. “I’m so happy to hear your voices. Are you all doing okay? None of you are hurt or... or scared, are you?”

“Nope,” they all replied.

“Ah mean, we were really scared at first...” said Apple Bloom.

“And even more scared when Discord showed up,” continued Sweetie.

“But we’re okay now and really happy you and Pinkie are safe too,” Scootaloo finished.

Pinkie, who had been surprisingly silent up to that point, couldn’t contain herself any longer. “Isn’t this exciting?” she practically screamed. She looked up at the ceiling in thought. “We were all feeling sooo sad and lonely and we had no idea what happened, but then out of nowhere Doug comes along and promises to take care of us and get us back home! And then we somehow found you girls and we’re all totally safe and happy, and Angel’s suddenly talking, and... and it’s like a big party!” With that, she devolved into a fit of giggles and snorts mixed with a few happy tears.

“Heh, same old Pinkie Pie,” Scootaloo commented.

“Always wanting to throw a party,” Apple Bloom mused.

“This definitely ranks as one of the stranger ones though,” said Sweetie.

“Oh!” Scootaloo said excitedly. “Have you guys tried this thing called French Toast? It’s really good, but I don’t think anypony ever made it.”

“Yeah...” Sweetie said thoughtfully. “I mean, there’s white toast, wheat toast...” She paused a moment. “Burnt toast...”

I was still trying to wrap my mind around Angel talking, but Pinkie continued. “Hmmm... I don’t know,” she admitted. “Have you made that for us?” she asked, looking at me.

“No, just regular toast,” I replied. “I’ve never tried to make French toast.”

“Ya really should,” Apple Bloom suggested. “Ah mean, John probably is the best at making it, but Ah’d be fine if anypony made it,” She smacked her lips a little. “Especially if ya added apples.”

“It’s really not that hard,” John assured me. After a pause, he asked, “Pinkie, are you feeling any better?”

“Uh huh!” she happily replied. “Don’t feel bad about the other day! Pinkie’s just going to hang in there until the girls arrive, then we’ll all find the rest of our friends together!” she finished with a look of determination.

“That’s great. I’m still very sorry about what I said though.” John replied. “And how are you doing Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy seemed taken aback. “Who, me? Oh, um... I’m doing good, I think,” she murmured.

“Hag!” Angel chimed in.

“Yes. Angel’s doing good, too,” Fluttershy continued.

“That’s great,” John said, sounding relieved. “Well, this is your reward. Talk as long as you like,” he said, obviously to the Crusaders.

“Yay!” all three of them yelled.

“So were you freaked out by hands?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Or compotters?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Or those weird scribbles everywhere?” asked Scootaloo.

Pinkie chuckled. “Those are all great, aren’t they? It’s sooo easy to hold a Coke using hands, and the computer is what Doug used to find you three and Princess Celestia! Oh, and those scribbles are human words. I can totally read them now, even without squinting!” Pinkie made a show of looking pleased with herself, then giggled some more.

“Wait...” Apple Bloom said tentatively.

“Princess Celestia?!” everyone on the other end of the call shouted at once.

“Yeah! She’s in some place called At-lan-ta,” Pinkie said, carefully pronouncing the unfamiliar name. “She was found by a dragon!”

“What?” the Crusaders yelled again.

“Ah didn’t know ya had dragons here,” said Apple Bloom.

John spoke up. “We don’t.”

“Pinkie! Give me that,” I said, snatching the phone from her. Not thinking, I held it up to my mouth despite it being on speakerphone. “Sorry girls. The princess was found by a friend of mine. His name is DragonLS.”

“Ack!” Sweetie complained. “He’s doing that thing Princess Luna did on Nightmare Night!”

I sighed loudly. “Here Fluttershy, you hold the phone.” I handed it over to her. “Got it? Okay, good. Anyway, the princess is safe for the moment, girls.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief. Ah’m sure she’ll be able to fix this real easily,” Apple Bloom sighed in relief.

“Yeah,” said Scootaloo. “I mean, aside from Rainbow Dash, she’s gotta be the only pony who could fix this.”

“Actually,” I spoke up, sensing a chance to let the girls know my theory on their friendship, “I was just talking to Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel about something yesterday.”

“About what?” asked Sweetie.

“Well, maybe you three can help me out here. We happen to know that the princess lost all of her magic when she came here,” I revealed.

All the girls gasped at this.

“She... she doesn’t have her magic?” Sweetie asked despondently.

“Oh no,” Apple Bloom moaned.

“But don’t worry,” I said quickly. “We think we know a way to help get it back.” I paused for a moment. “Sweetie, you used some kind of magic, didn’t you? Scootaloo, too.”

“I mean... maybe,” Sweetie said. “I’ve never been able to really do magic before... but John said it helped.”

“It was awesome!” Scootaloo screamed with excitement. “It’s probably what Rainbow Dash feels like all the time!” She paused for breath. “But now they’re gone again.”

“Well, let me tell you something else first, then I want to see if you three come to the same conclusion I did,” I said. “Princess Celestia is alone with my friend and has no magic, right?”

“She is?” Sweetie asked. “That’s awful. If I’d been here without Apple Bloom or Scootaloo...” She trailed off.

“Doug, you’re still going on this theory?” John asked.

I ignored him and continued, “And you three are together with John, and you somehow managed a bit of magic, right?”

“Well, Sweetie and Scootaloo did,” Apple Bloom replied. “Ah just kinda kicked that bully.”

“Pinkie and Fluttershy are here with Angel and me,” I said. “Fluttershy is able to communicate with animals, but not quite as well as usual. Pinkie can feel her Pinkie sense... barely. She can also do, uh, the things Pinkie does, but not as often as usual. You still with me?”

“Well Fluttershy’s always been good with animals,” said Scootaloo. “And Pinkie is just Pinkie... maybe they’re just not used to stuff here.”

“Oh!” Sweetie piped up. “Maybe being a hum-ane is harder if you have a cutie mark!”

“Then that would mean we’re actually better off here than anypony else,” Apple Bloom said. “Not that Ah don’t want ma cutie mark or anything.”

“That has to be it!” Pinkie yelled almost directly into my ear. “Oh, wait. That’s not what Doug told us. Sorry!” She blushed a little.

“No, it’s not. Though it’s a really good guess,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t go deaf.

“So were we right or not?” Scootaloo asked slowly.

“Well, you could be right, but it’s not what I had in mind. Let’s list what we know and I’ll give you another guess,” I said. “You three have each other, and some magic. Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel have each other, and some magic... or at least abilities that we humans don’t possess. Princess Celestia is all alone, and has no magic at all. Do you see a pattern there?”

“Oh!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “So we just need to get Celestia a special somepony.”

“What?!” everyone on the other line said, saving me the trouble of saying it myself.

“Um, Apple Bloom, I think the princess might just need some friends,” Sweetie suggested.

“Oh yeah... right,” Apple Bloom replied, sounding embarrassed.

“Correct!” I announced. “What Sweetie Belle said. We could be wrong, but I think anyone from Equestria might have their talents boosted when they’re with their friends. It might explain why the princess has no magic, but both of our groups of Equestrians can manage a small amount. Imagine what might happen once you all get together.”

“Maybe enough to set things right,” John said.

“We could go home?” Scootaloo asked, her voice filled with hope.

“I could see my sister?” Sweetie asked. It sounded as if she were about to cry.

Apple Bloom sounded much the same. “Mine too?”

“We think so!” Pinkie chimed in, perhaps sensing that the Crusaders needed some encouragement. “I don’t really understand it all, but it would be great if Doug’s right!”

“Even if he’s wrong, at least we’ll be together,” Fluttershy chimed in.

“Hag,” Angel agreed.

“It’s just great to know other ponies are okay too,” said Apple Bloom.

“Hey, maybe just talking like this will help,” Sweetie suggested.

“Yeah, we just need to keep talking!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Uh, I...” I stammered. I looked around the room at the happy faces of the Equestrians. “I don’t think that... you know what? I have no objections. Talk away.”

It was the right move, if the grateful looks the Equestrians gave me were any indication.

“So what’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen?” Scootaloo asked.

“Ah bet it was those vaedyo games,” suggested Apple Bloom. “You girls shoulda tried it, it was really fun.”

“Or maybe those magic card key things,” said Sweetie.

“I didn’t see it, but can you believe that a spider actually bit me?” Fluttershy asked quietly. “I didn’t even do anything to it, I don’t know why it did that.”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve seen on the internet,” Pinkie said. I gave her a horrified look. Oh God, what has she seen? “What? Don’t look at me like that, Captain! I got on the computer while you were sleeping. It’s not like you could tell me not to.”

I was about to interrogate Pinkie when John interrupted. “Um, anyway Doug, did you get the pictures my friends sent? Guess it must have been a little shocking seeing them as brunettes.”

Not satisfied with letting her off the hook just yet, I whispered to Pinkie, “I’m going to have another talk with you later, Pinkie.” I then returned my attention back to the phone. “Uh, yeah we got the pictures. These ones should do fine, I just need to talk to a friend of mine to be certain, then we can get you some passports made up. If all goes well, you’ll have them in a few days.”

“Okay... I’ll send my mailing address once we’re done here,” John replied. “Anything else you want to say?” he asked faintly, probably directed toward the girls.

“Well...” Scootaloo began. “I can’t really think of anything.”

“Me neither,” said Sweetie. “I didn’t think we’d be talking to them so soon, but... well...”

“Sweetie,” John said to her. “If you want to ask, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“No,” Sweetie said in a very soft voice. “It’s fine.”

“Well if you’re not gonna say it then Ah will,” Apple Bloom said with a determined yet melancholic tone. “Pinkie, Fluttershy... if...if ya find our sisters, please tell us, okay?”

“Awww, of course we’ll tell you!” Pinkie replied, sounding much more serious than her usual self. “Now chin up, girls! You’re coming to visit your Aunties Pinkie and Fluttershy soon. Together with Doug, John, and Angel, we’ll find them no matter what!”

“Thank you,” Sweetie sniffled.

“Yeah Pinkie, that’s pretty awesome of you,” said Scootaloo.

“Maybe... maybe we’ll throw you a party when we get there,” Apple Bloom suggested.

Pinkie just began laughing hysterically, tossing confetti into the air. When she set off a few small firecrackers that she had gotten from... somewhere... I knew it was time to end the call.

“Sounds good to me,” I said quickly. “I guess I should let you go for now. It should be about dinner time for you now, right? I don’t want to hang up until everyone’s happy to, though.”

“I think this definitely helped out. Sounds the same on your end too... Fluttershy’s been a little quiet though. She alright?” John asked.

“Oh, I’m here. It’s just nice listening to you all talk,” Fluttershy said with a smile.

“Okay, well girls, I think it’s time to hang up for now,” John announced. “Doug, it’s okay if they ever want to call again, right?”

“Yeah, mate. That’s fine. It won’t be too long, and they’ll be able to talk face to face. Don’t worry about call costs, either. I can cover those for you.”

“Actually... there’s also Skype, too,” John suggested.

“A what?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It’s like a phone, but you can also see people on it,” John explained.

“Whoa!” the Crusaders exclaimed, once again in unison.

“Can you show us now?” asked Sweetie.

“Maybe some other time,” John replied. “For now, why don’t you say your goodbyes?”

“Okay,” said Scootaloo. “It was really great talking with you, Pinkie and Fluttershy. Thanks for helping them Mr. Doug.”

“Yeah, super thanks,” said Apple Bloom.

“Super mega thanks,” said Sweetie. Apparently, that got her some strange looked from her friends. “What?” she asked.

“It just sounds a little repata... repeata... silly to say super and mega next to each other,” explained Apple Bloom.

“Hey!” Sweetie yelled back.

“Okay, okay. I think I got the point,” I intervened. I had a feeling an argument between the Crusaders would last another ten minutes, and I still had to talk to Pinkie about firecrackers and the internet, and talk to Angel about... talking. “We’re going to count to three, then everyone’s going to say ‘bye,’ all right?”

“Sure,” said all the Crusaders.

“Okay then. One... two... three! Bye!” I yelled.

“Bye!” Pinkie and Fluttershy said.

“Hag!” Angel yelled.

“Bye!” said the girls at the same time.

“Heh, see ya’ll around,” John said. “Stay safe. We’ll keep in touch.”

Once I hung up, I turned towards the Equestrians.

“Okay. Pinkie, where did you get the firecrackers and what did you see on the internet?” I demanded before turning towards Angel. “And you... well, you’re in a human body. I guess you have proper vocal chords for the first time in your life.” I leaned down towards the former bunny. “How would you like to learn how to speak the English language, mate?”

Losses and Gains

Losses and Gains
April 22nd 2012 (Evening)

I stumbled out the front door to my apartment building and into the cool air of the evening. My legs were weak, as if they refused to take me from the place I knew I belonged, and I had to lean against the wall for a moment before sliding to the ground. My wife’s wedding band was retrieved from my pocket with a shaking hand and held close to my chest for several long moments before carefully being put away again.

A decade’s worth of memories swam through my mind. I thought of the first time our eyes had met back at O’Hare International Airport when she had visited the United States. I had spotted her on my flight earlier. A young beauty of only nineteen at the time, she was travelling alone and had piqued my curiosity. Who was she? But of course, a pretty girl like her would never give a young man like me the time of day.

Most of my flight had been spent pondering the young lady and, after our flight had landed, I had a spontaneous moment of false bravado when I casually sidled up next to her near the luggage claim and asked if she needed help. She had spun around and looked into my eyes, taking my breath away. I had never expected her to smile up at me and say yes.

We had been together ever since.

I blinked away the memories and took a moment to gather myself. Fluttershy was sitting a short distance away on one of the steps leading off the common grounds towards the road. Pinkie was by her side and was doing her best to console her, as she was now openly weeping. A cry of alarm sounded from near the street and I turned in time to see Angel drop the bag he was carrying and run to Fluttershy, throwing his arms around her when he arrived. I could hear a bit of the conversation from my spot by the door.

“I don’t even know what I did wrong!” Fluttershy wailed, pulling Pinkie and Angel into a tight embrace. Pinkie leaned close and said something that I couldn’t hear, apparently trying to resolve the situation, but Fluttershy shut her eyes tightly and shook her head. “No,” she moaned, sounding like a wounded animal. “No. I can’t take it anymore, Pinkie.” She raised her head and looked into Pinkie’s eyes. “I’ve tried so hard. I’ve done everything I can to be strong. And please don’t look at me like that. I know we’ve almost found everypony else, and I know the fillies are coming soon. But I don’t want to be here anymore, Pinkie. I just want to go home.” She buried her face in Pinkie’s shoulder once again. “I just want to go home,” she repeated quietly.

Pinkie looked up and caught my eye. Her face revealed an emotion I was unaccustomed to seeing on her - uncertainty. Had she been in Ponyville, there was sure to be any number of activities and friends she could resort to in order to help cheer Fluttershy up. Instead, she was looking to the only source of support she had in this world. It was then that I had a moment of clarity. I had lost the love of my life, but there was a chance that I could come back and make things right again someday.

The Equestrians had lost everything.

Even considering that I had lost my home, I still had ways of finding shelter. I could still buy food. I even still had the keys to my car. But Angel and the girls couldn’t get a hotel room. They couldn’t go to the store and purchase food and clothing. The couldn’t use public transport and they couldn’t use a car. They truly had nothing without me. As heartbreaking as it was to admit it, my problems paled in comparison to theirs.

I stood up, strode over to the Equestrians, and knelt beside them.

“I... I’m sorry this happened,” I said. Fluttershy looked up and I found myself looking away, ashamed. “This... complicates things,” I admitted, struggling to find the right words. “But I promised I would see you to your home and I meant it. I don’t care how hard things get, I’ll do whatever I can to see it through.” I stood up and held my hand out.

Fluttershy regarded my hand for a long moment, then reached out and took it.

“But... where do we go from here?” she asked as I helped her up. She hugged herself as the cool wind blew over us. Pinkie and Angel both stood and looked at me, waiting.

I pulled out my car keys. “We need somewhere to stay tonight. I can get some money out at an ATM and book a hotel. There are three little fillies and an injured bloke named John due to arrive here in a couple days, and I plan on being there to greet them when they do.” I started walking towards the garage and beckoned for the Equestrians to follow. “After that...” I trailed off, giving one last look up at my apartment window. I thought I saw the curtains move. The Equestrians waited silently until I finally tore my gaze away and continued walking. “After that, we’ll just take things one day at a time.”

"...and in world news, an international manhunt is on for a man accused of kidnapping a little girl from a hospital in Texas. Authorities are telling us that the suspect, Matthew Martinez, allegedly fled the country after kidnapping an unidentified child who had recently been struck by a car. It is unknown whether..."

I turned the stereo off, plunging the car into almost total silence. The night had been depressing enough without having to hear about how completely screwed up society was, and I really didn’t want to have to explain such things to the girls.

None of us spoke a word as I pulled into a petrol station and parked near the entrance; just inside the station was an ATM. I unbuckled my seatbelt, but it wasn’t until I felt Pinkie’s hand on my shoulder that I realized I had remained seated, staring absently ahead. I turned and gave her a small, sad smile, then opened the door and made my way inside the station.

Once inside, I ignored the clerk and went straight to the ATM. It took several tries to get my bank card into the slot, but I finally managed it and punched in my PIN, then selected ‘View Balance.’ It was quite likely that I would need to stay at a hotel for up to a couple of weeks before I could find a cheap apartment to rent. I would also need food, clothing, petrol, and enough to either set up internet access, or go to internet cafes regularly. It also wouldn’t hurt to have some extra money on-hand in case of an emergency. There had been quite a few expenses lately and, while I wasn’t worried about running out of money anytime soon, I would need to know how much was left so I could plan ahead. After a moment, the screen flashed and showed my account details.

I stared at the screen, shock slowly beginning to register on my face. This can’t be happening, I thought. I looked back over my shoulder towards the car. The Equestrians were watching me. Depending on me. I turned back to face the ATM screen, but the balance still read the same.

Two thousand dollars.

Two thousand. Far, far less than I had expected. My wife must have hopped online and transferred most of our savings into her personal account. I couldn’t blame her, as I would have done the same if I were in her shoes. She had left enough for me to get settled into a new place, for which I was thankful, but it wasn’t even close to being enough. Not with three Equestrians to care for and three more on the way. I had just gone from being financially secure to being dangerously close to bankruptcy.

A part of me wanted to hit something, anything, as hard as I could. Finding ponies was supposed to be any fan’s dream come true, but ever since finding the girls and Angel, things had deteriorated into a living nightmare. Eventually, I unclenched my fist and the more rational side of me prevailed. I withdrew five hundred dollars and returned to the car. After sitting in the dark silence for a few moments, I turned the ignition and sped off in search of a hotel.

“Will you be wanting a double room, sir?” the desk clerk, a young man of maybe nineteen with blonde hair and light freckles, asked.

“Y-,” I began, but had to stop myself. It would take a while to break old habits. I’d need to get used to being on a budget again. “Er... no, thank you. A single will do.”

The clerk looked up briefly from his computer screen and eyed to three Equestrians standing behind me, then turned his attention back to what he was doing.

“A single it is, then,” he said. His smile did not reach his eyes, but I didn’t give a single damn about his opinion. He looked back up at me again. “That will be two hundred seventy nine dollars, sir. You will be paying by credit?”

I withdrew my wallet from my back pocket, but hesitated. The Novotel at Darling Harbour had been a natural choice, as the Equestrians had really enjoyed our time walking along the boardwalk and the hotel was just across the road from it. But once again, I had been acting out of habit instead of planning ahead, as there were far cheaper hotels in Sydney. It would help if I chose one that wasn’t rated five stars.

A quick glance over my shoulder showed me that Fluttershy had moved back towards the bar and was quietly sobbing again. Pinkie was with her, whispering soothingly to her friend, while Angel hugged the former pegasus tightly around the waist. They wouldn’t last much longer like this emotionally.

“Cash,” I said, turning back to the clerk. I handed three hundred dollars to him, which he made a show of holding up to the light to check the watermarks. Once satisfied, he counted out my change.

“Room 102. We hope your stay at Novotel is a pleasurable one,” the clerk stated, offering up another fake smile. I ignored him and took my keycard, then walked over to the bar to join the others.

“You going to be alright?” I asked Fluttershy. She was no longer crying, but she still sniffled from time to time.

“I... I don’t know,” she responded. She looked like she was going to say more, but looked away and fell silent.

“Let’s just get some sleep,” I suggested. “It’s... been a long day. I’m sure we can all use it by now.”

The Equestrians nodded and fell in line behind me as I led the way upstairs and to our room. I passed the keycard through the security slot, opened the door, and turned on the lights. To our immediate right was the bathroom and a walk-in wardrobe. A large queen-sized bed dominated the center of the room, while a comfortable-looking chaise was along the far wall under a window that featured a breathtaking view of the harbour. A mid-sized HDTV was set up on the left wall, and a computer desk was in the far left corner of the room. It was a nice room, but I wasn’t much interested in decor. I indicated the bed to the girls.

“All yours,” I said. I then turned to Angel. “You get the chaise again.” He nodded and hopped up onto it.

“Um...” Fluttershy began.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Well, it’s just... you’re going to be in this room?”

“Uh huh. It’s the only room we’ve got. Why?”

“Oh,” she said. Her cheeks had turned crimson again and I had a feeling I knew what was coming. “Well... I’ve never slept in the same room with a stallion before.”

I sighed. “I’ve seen you naked, you know.” With her cheeks as red as they were, I couldn’t tell if that had any effect on her. Then I remembered something. “You slept in the tent with me!”

“But... the tent had separate rooms...” She had a point. But...

“What about when the spider bit you?” I asked.

“I... I was unconscious. That doesn’t count.” She swallowed nervously. “Does it?”

I closed my eyes and counted backwards for a few moments, then opened them again. “Yeah, alright. I can sleep in the wardrobe I guess. You all have a good night.” I turned off the light and went into the wardrobe. At least it was large; there would be more than enough space for me.

As I rummaged around the shelves in the dark searching for a spare pillow, I could hear Pinkie whispering to Fluttershy again in the other room. Though it was a side of her that hadn’t really been touched on in the show, I appreciated the fact that she seemed to understand that games and party gags weren’t going to help here. Not this time.

Happy birthday, old man.

I found a pillow in a cupboard, as well as a spare sheet. There was enough space for me to stretch my legs out completely when I laid down on the floor, where I reflected on everything that had happened. Was this fate? I thought about it as I stared at the shadows on the wardrobe ceiling. Was some unseen hand controlling my destiny? Or were fate and destiny two words that, when all is said and done and the last person on Earth has taken their final breath, would ultimately be found to have no meaning at all? I shifted under the sheet and turned to face the wall. Perhaps the Equestrians would be better off if someone else had found them.

The gentle sound of footsteps approaching roused me from my thoughts. They drew closer, then stopped just outside the doorway to the wardrobe. I turned to face the doorway and saw Fluttershy’s silhouette quickly disappear back behind the wall, then slowly reappear. As my eyes adjusted, I could just make out her face. She had closed her eyes tightly, as if willing herself to continue in the face of some difficult task. After letting out a small sigh, she opened her eyes and walked over to sit beside me. After a brief moment of silence, she turned to me and spoke.

“You’ve... gone through a lot lately, haven’t you?” she asked quietly. When I didn’t answer, she continued. “She’s very special to you, isn’t she?” I was thankful for the darkness as I felt wetness around my eyes.

“Yes,” I whispered. I couldn’t manage any more words than that.

We both silently stared at the shadows for a while. The only sound was that of Fluttershy’s quiet breathing beside me and the occasional rustle of the sheet. Before long, Pinkie and Angel poked their heads into the doorway and joined us. The wardrobe was getting a little cramped, but I didn’t mind.

“You know,” Pinkie began, “we may have all lost... well, pretty much everything. But I’m happy for what we’ve all gained, too. I think we can make everything right again if we just stick together.”

I looked at Pinkie, who gave a little smile and looked at Fluttershy, who nodded in agreement.

“You’re right,” Fluttershy said. “After all, all that we have left is each other.”

The room was quiet once again as we all processed that idea. It was true, and I understood more clearly what Pinkie had said. Take care of what you have and the rest will take care of itself. I closed my eyes, somewhat at peace with myself for the first time in hours. For as long as they were in my care, I would do everything I could for the Equestrians. I was about to fall asleep when I heard Fluttershy whisper once more.

“Um...” she began, but drifted off quietly.

“It’s okay,” I assured her. “What is it?”

“Well, if you all don’t mind...” She moved around a little and accidentally jabbed me with her elbow. “Can we move back into the other room? I feel a little... squashed... in here.”

“Yes,” I said, immediately standing up and stretching my legs.

“Hag!” Angel agreed.

After we had relocated once again and I lay on the floor at the foot of the bed, I thought about our next move. We couldn’t continue to stay in hotels anymore. It was too expensive, but I thought that perhaps I had a solution to that, though it was far from ideal. Pinkie had been wrong. I hadn’t quite lost everything. Not yet, anyway. I would just have to hope he was in a good mood when I called him the next day. With that last thought, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

To Admit Defeat

To Admit Defeat
April 23, 2012

The next morning we woke up late and found ourselves rushing to make sure we checked out of the hotel on time. There wasn’t much to pack, but it turns out that Pinkie isn’t the sort of pony - or human - to pack things away neatly, and so we spent a good chunk of time searching for things that had been scattered all across the room. We thought we had just found everything when Pinkie called out frantically.

“Where is she?” she yelled, rummaging through a bag. “Oh no! No no no no no! Where did I put her?” She dropped the bag on the floor and started opening drawers left and right in a panic.

“What’s wrong, Pinkie?” I asked. “What’s missing?” Clearly, it was something important to her. She was now on her hands and knees looking under the bed again.

“Come on Pinkie, think. She has to be around here somewhere,” she murmured. She moved her arm back and form under the bed a few times, then widened her eyes suddenly. “Ah ha! I found her!”

Fluttershy, Angel, and I watched as Pinkie carefully retrieved an object that had been hidden under the bed by the blanket. She held the Applejack toy to her cheek in a bit of a hug before returning it to the bag that held the other pony toys I had bought for her. She let out a small, nervous sigh and turned back to us. “Sorry about that. I just thought I had lost her...” She blinked and a smile quickly appeared on her face. “Okay! We have everything now. Lead the way, captain!”

I led the Equestrians out of the room and downstairs to the front desk so we could check out. A few moments later we were all set, so I took them next door to a restaurant called the iBar, which offered a breakfast buffet for a very reasonable price. I paid the clerk up front and even managed to get Angel’s meal for free. We all grabbed plates and filled them up at the buffet, then found a nice table by the window overlooking the harbour and sat down. The view was almost enough to distract me from my problems. Almost.

We ate quietly for some time, but eventually Fluttershy spoke up. “So, um, what are we going to do today?”

I swallowed the bite of food I had just taken before answering. “Well, that all really depends on a phone call I have to make,” I replied. “I’m hoping to secure us a place to stay for a while that isn’t going to drain what little money we have left.”

Pinkie looked at me. “Don’t you have something you can do to earn some bits?” she asked, leaning her chin on a hand. “You’re pretty big, so I bet you plough fields like Big Macintosh does. Ooh or maybe you deliver heavy furniture! Though I guess you don’t have wings... it’d be a lot easier if you had wings.” She squinted her eyes a bit. “You don’t really seem to be the type to be a royal guard, though you never know. A rock farmer maybe? What do you do?”

I scratched my beard. “Well, I don’t really do anything, anymore. I suppose you could say I’m retired.” The looks the Equestrians were giving me suggested that I should explain. “Well, before I met Victoria I earned a good wage working with heavy freight, so you weren’t too far off the mark, Pinkie. I lived a pretty simple life and kept to myself. I didn’t go out to clubs or parties on the weekends, so I just saved up all my money.”

“Booooring!” Pinkie exclaimed, then shrunk back at the look I gave her. “Sorry! Go on.”

I rolled my eyes and continued. “Anyway, by the time I met Victoria I was pretty well set up financially. After we hooked up, she ended up getting a great office job that earned a lot of money. It wasn’t much longer after that we ended up with an unexpected inheritance from a relative of hers.” I took a sip of coffee. “So when she refused to stop working after she became pregnant with our daughter, it was a pretty easy choice for me to retire early so I could stay home and help raise her.”

Pinkie spat out the juice she had been drinking. “You have a daughter!?”

Perhaps I had flinched. Whatever my reaction had been, the fact that Fluttershy was staring wide-eyed at me with a hand over her mouth, and the way Pinkie had suddenly become very quiet, told me that they understood. Even Angel seemed distressed. I stared out the window for a while before continuing.

“It’s strange how people react differently to things,” I finally said. “Victoria became obsessed with her work. I guess she felt that if she were constantly busy, she wouldn’t have time to think about anything else. Me? I shut down completely. It took months before I could even begin to think about anything else. I eventually tried to mimic my wife’s way of dealing with things and took on a job as a bodyguard.” I looked back at the Equestrians. “It was a mistake. The people I worked for... they weren’t the kindest people around. I did a lot of things for them that I’m not too proud of. Needless to say, I didn’t work for them for very long. The only good thing to come out of it was my friendship with Moey.”

None of the Equestrians had moved while I was talking. After a long moment of silence, Pinkie spoke up.

“I’m sorry...” she began, but I held up my hand to cut her off.

“It’s fine, really,” I assured her. “All of that is in the past. What we need to be worrying about is the future.” I set my silverware down and stood up from the table. “Just stay put for a moment. I need to go make a call.”

Ten minutes later, we were all in the car and heading towards the western suburbs of Sydney. Fluttershy had taken the backseat with Angel this time, leaving Pinkie to ride shotgun. Judging by the way she continuously fiddled with her seatbelt, I was assuming she still felt bad about earlier.

“Pinkie, I’m fine,” I said, looking at her from the corner of my eye. “Besides, you represent the Element of Laughter, don’t you? You should be happy and cheerful.”

“I know!” she exclaimed. “But what you’ve been through is no laughing matter. I don’t know what that cartoon has told you about me, but I do know that there is a time and a place for that sort of thing.”

She had a point. All three Equestrians had exhibited behavior that hadn’t been touched on in the show at all. I thought about it for a while before responding. “Well,” I began, “what better time for some laughter than when people are feeling down? We’ve all had a rough time and I know I wouldn’t mind having something to laugh or smile about right now.”

Pinkie watched me from the passenger’s seat for a while as we drove onwards. Eventually, she smiled. "I'll think about it," she said.

The rest of our trip was quiet and uneventful. Fluttershy hadn’t said a word since breakfast, and Angel rarely spoke anyway, apparently having decided that ‘hag’ was a fairly useless word without any other words to accompany it. Neither of the girls had asked me what my plan was, for which I was thankful. I wasn’t even sure if I liked it, but I would find out soon enough. We had arrived at our destination.

I pulled the car into the driveway of a moderately sized brick home. The small front yard was well-kept, with several trimmed bushes under the front windows. If I hadn’t known any better, I would have been certain that someone else, anyone else owned the house instead of the man who did. I put the car into park and unbuckled my seatbelt.

“We’re here,” I announced.

The Equestrians and I exited the vehicle. I was preparing to lead them to the front door when Fluttershy stopped me.

“Um... where are we?” she asked tentatively. “You never did tell us what your plan was.”

I turned to face them and indicated the house. “This is why I had to make a phone call earlier. I had to call Moey and ask him a favor. He’s agreed to let us stay for a while.”

The color drained from Fluttershy’s face and she turned around and grabbed the car door handle. “Oh, um, that’s great!” she said quickly with a false smile. “You all go ahead. I’ll just, um, sleep in the car. If that’s alright with you.”

I pushed the car door closed and met her eyes. “Come on, Fluttershy. I know he has his... bad habits. But we’re in a jam and he’s agreed to help us out.” I saw the look on her face and changed tactics. “Look, the day I let you sleep in the car is the day I admit defeat. It’s only temporary. I’ll... I’ll figure something out financially. But for now we have nowhere else to go. I don’t know what it’s like in Ponyville, but here in Sydney people don’t just let you stay in their homes for free. We’re lucky that Moey agreed to it, so just try to put up with him for a little while.”

“Um...” She scrunched her face into a stubborn frown. “No.”

Pinkie walked behind Fluttershy and began pushing her from behind. “Come on, Fluttershy. Moey seemed pretty funny to me!” She grunted from the effort it took to move her friend along. “Just give him a chance. Doug said it’s just temporary, anyway. What harm could a few days with Moey do to us?”

“A lot...”

Pinkie giggled at that, but Fluttershy wasn’t laughing. She seemed determined to not step a foot inside that house. We reached the door and I turned to face her.

“Fluttershy... please!” I pleaded. “I’m begging you. Look, I’ll get us out of this situation as quickly as possible. I just need a few days to sort things out. I wasn’t expecting my wife to...” I swallowed. “I wasn’t expecting things to turn out this way.”

Fluttershy examined my face thoughtfully for a moment, then closed her eyes and gave a small nod. I gave a relieved sigh and quickly pushed the doorbell before she could change her mind. A few moments later, a voice could be heard through the door.

“Hello! You have reached the home of Mohammed Raul Tayaar. If you are with the FBI, CIA, MI5, Interpol, ASIS, FARC or are ex-KGB, please leave a message and then go away. All others please wait and prepare to bear witness and bask in the glory that is Moey.” With that said, the door opened and Moey opened his arms wide. “Dougie! How entirely unexpected it is to see you, my friend. It is good to see that you have finally come to your senses and have come here to convert to Islam, yes? You shall now be spared the horrors of the coming Jihad.” His eyes wandered to the girls. “Oh, be still my beating heart! You have brought the lovelies with you as promised. My friend, a thousand blessings upon you.” He stepped aside and beckoned us inside. “Oh do come in, do come in. It is so good to see you ladies and...” Moey stopped talking as soon as Angel came into sight. He pointed at the former bunny and looked up at me. “What is that?”

I gave a strained sigh. “That is Adam,” I said. “He’s with the girls, remember?”

Moey placed his hands on Angel’s shoulders and spun the former bunny around, marching him right back out the door. “No. No no no no no! You never mentioned that you were bringing the demon child with you. Did it touch anything? I don’t want to have to burn any of my possessions...”

“Moey!” I said, exasperated. “Come on, he’s just a kid. You’re going to upset him.”

“A kid? Oh no, my friend.” He dramatically pointed at Angel again. “Look at it! It hungers for my blood!”

“Moey!”

Angel took that moment to growl and take a kick at Moey, who jumped deftly away.

“Ah ha! You see?” He bent down and hissed at Angel. “You won’t be feasting on my organs tonight, you little monster!”

“Moey!”

Moey finally turned around and looked at me. “What?” he demanded.

“If you really don’t want Adam here, I can always take the girls and go elsewhere...” I threatened.

Moey moved quickly and put an arm around Angel’s shoulders and led him back into the house. He gave a chuckle as he walked past. “Jokes, my friend! Of course I want this...” he looked at Angel, “child to stay here with me. A friend of yours is a friend of mine, yes?”

I rolled my eyes and took Angel’s hand, leading him away from Moey before he could kick at him again. Moey led us to his living area and bade us to have a seat on his sofa. He looked mildly annoyed when we sat in such a way that he could not sit down next to any of the girls, but he quickly got over it and took a seat as well.

“So,” he said, looking at us each in turn. “You will need to stay here for... how long?”

“A few days at least, if that’s okay with you,” I answered. “I’ve run into a bit of trouble and I can’t stay at the house right now.”

Moey raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?” he asked.

I nodded. “It has to do with our former employer,” I lied. “You know how it goes.”

Moey stood up and moved over to a cabinet, where he retrieved a bottle of wine. “Oh yes, my friend,” he said, pouring a few glasses. “I know all-too-well how it goes.” He looked over to the girls. “Wine?”

“No,” Fluttershy muttered.

“Sure!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Uh...” I began. I wasn’t quite sure how I should phrase what I wanted to say. “I thought you weren’t much of a drinker, Patty?” I asked, hoping she would get the hint.

“Where’d you get that idea from?” Pinkie giggled. “That’s just silly. I always serve drinks at parties!” She accepted the glass from Moey. “Thanks!” Before I could get in another word, she raised the glass to her lips and took a drink. I was just beginning to ponder which level of Hell I would end up on for allowing Pinkie Pie to consume alcohol when she scrunched her nose up and looked at the glass, then to Moey, and back at the glass again. “It’s not baaad, but I really think I need some Coke now.”

Moey spit some of the wine out that he had just sipped and looked at me incredulously. “My friend, just how much did you tell them about our former employer? Would you like me to go down to Bankstown and pick up some ecstacy too? Perhaps some ice?” He waved a hand at me. “You know better than anyone that we never actually touched that stuff.”

“Moey, she meant the drink,” I explained.

Moey stared at me for a moment, then looked back at the girls, his grin returning. “Oh,” he laughed. “Did I say something about anything illegal? What nonsense! Of course I would never do anything that wasn’t completely within the boundaries of the law...”

“And what do you call what we did for our former employer?” I asked.

“Aggressive observation.”

“What about making the false passports for them?” I asked, indicating the Equestrians.

“Fan art.”

“And all the unsuspecting women you have been with?”

“My hobby.”

I laughed. “Fine, you’re a saint. Do you mind if we use your shower? We didn’t have time for one at the hotel.”

Moey’s eyes narrowed. “And what were you doing with these lovely beauties at a hotel?” he asked.

Damn it. Not good.

“We, uh, had to get out of the apartment quickly. It was too late to give you a call last night, so we just stayed at a hotel.” Well, it was pretty much the truth.

After a moment, Moey nodded. “Very well. Yes, of course you may have a shower. Here,” he said, taking Pinkie’s arm. “I will show you the way. Will you need any help?” he joked.

“Sure!” Pinkie giggled. “I can’t really reach my back like I used to...”

“No!” I yelled, seeing the sudden gleam in Moey’s eyes. “That won’t be necessary, thank you very much. The girls can help each other.”

Moey stopped walking and turned to face me. “Help... each other? They will both... at the same time?” I could almost hear his blood pressure increasing. “Surely you would not deny a good friend...”

“I absolutely can and will,” I scolded, crossing my arms.

Moey rolled his eyes. “Fine! You are a cold man, Douglas Collins. I will remember this in the coming wars. Now, if you ladies would just head this way you can get cleaned up,” he said, opening the bathroom door.

Pinkie and Fluttershy went inside and closed the door behind them. Angel took up a position just outside the door as if to guard them from peering eyes. Moey held his fingers up in the sign of a cross at Angel, then shrugged and led me back into the kitchen, where we began to prepare some snacks.

“So...” Moey began, as he opened a can of cashews. “You ran into some trouble hm?”

“Yeah,” I said. I opened a bag of pretzels and emptied them into a bowl. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Moey looked up from the can. “Is it?” he wondered aloud. “You seem to be in hiding, yes?”

I didn’t answer. It was a line of questioning that I didn’t want to get into at that moment, but Moey pressed on.

“You know, I still keep in touch with some of the guys,” he mentioned, adding the nuts to the bowl. He put a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. “I can make your trouble go away. You can stay here as long as you like while I sort it out.”

“I’d prefer if they weren’t talked to,” I said. “I do need a place to stay for a while, though. If you could let us stay longer...”

“Of course!” Moey said, squeezing my shoulder. “What are friends for?” He picked up the bowl and turned away. “I only ask for a small thing as repayment.”

I blinked. “What do you want?”

Moey turned around and looked at me seriously. “Just give me one night with them,” he whispered.

“What!?” I yelled.

“Shh! Calm down, my friend!” he said, putting a hand up. “Think about it! Seriously - who are these women to you?” He held up his other hand. “They are nothing to you, yes?”

I took a step towards Moey and he retreated a step. “Are you serious?” I demanded.

“Yes!” he said, his voice rising slightly. “Of course I am serious! You need a place to stay, I have my needs. It only makes sense, yes?”

“No, it does not!” I growled. “I’ve already told you, it’s not like that!”

“Then what is it like?” Moey shouted. “Who are these women? Why are you with them? They are nothing to you, don’t you understand? You only just met them!” He slapped his hand on the table hard. “If you are not in love with them, then what else is there?”

“I can’t tell you that, Moey...”

“Of course you can!” Moey yelled. “You can tell me anything! We know things about each other that can get us both sent away for a long time. There is nothing you can’t tell me!”

My breathing became more rapid as my heart rate increased. Neither of us noticed that the Equestrians had come out to see what all the shouting was about.

“Just trust me, Moey!” I shouted. “I can’t tell you.”

“Look, I don’t care what you do behind Victoria’s back, but why are you protecting them? They’re just whores!”

Moey never saw the punch coming. Neither did I, for that matter. My fist seemed to move of its own accord as I socked him in the jaw. His head snapped back as he fell backwards hard onto the kitchen floor.

“I am not sleeping with them and they are not whores, you son of a bitch!”

A collection of gasps rose from behind me and I turned to see the horrified faces of Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel. I had to get them out of there.

“Dougie...” Moey called up from the floor. “It’s okay. You can stay...”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “We’re leaving.”

“You don’t understand...” Moey said, but I had heard enough.

I turned around and walked past the Equestrians and straight out the front door, not stopping until I was in the car with the ignition turned on. A few moments later, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Angel all came out the front door and got into the car. The tires left skid marks as I pulled out of the driveway quickly and sped away.

Late that afternoon we stopped at Ramsgate beach. We had all climbed out of the car and were silently watching the waves crash along the shoreline when my phone rang, startling the girls. I briefly pondered ignoring it, but then a thought popped into my mind and I hastily pulled the phone out of my pocket.

“Vicky?” I asked numbly into the phone.

“Um, Doug?" replied a voice that was far from being Victoria's. "Sorry if it’s a bad time, but it’s John. Listen, I'm kinda having a... oh lord, a parental emergency with Sweetie and I could really use some help.”

I glanced over at the girls. Both Pinkie and Fluttershy were focused on the water, but their eyes disturbed me. Every hint of fun and laughter that had once shone in them was gone. I stood up and moved away from the Equestrians, shielding my eyes from the occasional gust of wind that blew across the water.

“Doug, if you can hear me, I really need yours, Pinkie’s, and Fluttershy’s help right now," John said, reminding me that I hadn't answered him. "Sweetie needs somepony to talk to about things and I need to know how to deal with her.”

My head began to ache, and I wasn't certain that I'd heard what John had said properly. I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed my fingers into my temples in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure. When that didn't work, I returned my attention to the call. It seemed John was waiting for an answer. Something about Sweetie Belle.

“What happened to her?” I asked.

“She’s...” John began, but stopped a moment to consider his words. “Well, she’s going through a magical growth spurt... I think. It’s already changed her hair back to normal, turned a tile into a plant, and made my guest house a disaster zo—”

“Sweetie’s done magic?” I whispered quickly, cutting him off. I looked back towards the Equestrians to make sure they hadn't heard me.

“Yes, but it’s unfocused, she can’t reign it in,” John replied nervously. “Please, can you ask Pinkie and Fluttershy to help? I don’t want her to hurt herself.”

"No!" I growled, looking back at the girls again. All it would take would be one more problem for either one of them to break down completely. “No, not Fluttershy. Maybe Pinkie... but... no. She’s dealing with too much... barely holding on.” I didn't realize at the time that I was thinking aloud. All I knew was that now was not the time for this. I focused on the call again. “How bad is it?”

“A-aside from what I said before...” John stopped for a moment before continuing. “She’s got a bit of a temperature, bad headaches, and nausea that either comes up as magic or just throw-up. Apple Bloom said Snails went through something similar so a magical growth spurt was the only thing I could think of... but if Pinkie and Fluttershy are under the weather too... Doug, they aren’t all getting sick are they?”

“No, it’s fine,” I hastily replied. “They’re not sick but...” I really didn't know what else to say. I couldn't concentrate. Didn't want to concentrate. I just needed a break.

“That’s a relief, so that makes Sweetie going through a growth spurt all the more likely. This happened to Rarity too, which is why I was hoping I could talk to Fluttershy since she and Rarity were close friends.”

I looked back at the Equestrians again. Fluttershy was watching me. I just wanted to get off the phone and be left alone. “We... can’t. Look, Pinkie and Fluttershy... we've got our own problems right now. I'm sorry, but I don’t have an answer for you, mate. Just...” I paused for a moment. “Just stick together. That’s all you can do.”

“Wait Doug! I need...”

“I'm sorry,” I repeated and ended the call.

I returned to the car and resumed watching the waves with the Equestrians. We sat in silence, nobody moving even as dusk turned to evening and the stars came out to shine. Once the Equestrians had jumped back into the car and gotten settled, I got back into the car as well. After a few moments, I noticed Fluttershy looking at me through the rear-view mirror. I held her gaze for a moment, then looked away in shame. As Fluttershy moved to get more comfortable, I rested my head against the car window and closed my eyes.

The Courage Within

The Courage Within
April 24, 2012

My first waking thought was that I was home in bed with Victoria and that the events of the previous eleven days had been a dream - or perhaps a nightmare. As I slowly drifted back to consciousness I could feel the cold glass of the car window pressing against my cheek. Before I could fully register where I was, a hand crept onto my chest and something nuzzled into my shoulder. I could feel soft curls against my neck even before I opened my eyes and looked down to see Pinkie Pie snuggled against me, fast asleep.

I remained perfectly still as conflicting thoughts passed through my mind. Would it be best to awaken her so she could move off me, or would she feel embarrassed being caught trying to cuddle a human? Knowing Pinkie, probably not - but it would still be awkward. Then again, what harm was there in leaving her be? My own intentions with the girls were harmless, of course. Had I been the type, I’d had countless moments that I could have taken advantage of. But what if Fluttershy woke up and saw us in that position? She had already mistaken our actions once before. Shifting slightly, I looked up into the rear-view mirror and was surprised to see the bright aqua eyes of Fluttershy staring right back.

“She’s exhausted,” Fluttershy said quietly. She looked down at the comatose form of Angel beside her and placed a hand on his head, gently ruffling his white hair. “We all are, but Pinkie... she just wants to see us smile.” She sighed and looked out the window. “I wish I had her bravery.”

Pinkie murmured something unintelligible in her sleep while I watched Fluttershy through the mirror. There was still an absense of fun and happiness in the former pegasus’s eyes, but her gaze didn’t waver when they rose back up to meet my own. I thought she might speak again, but Pinkie stirred at that moment, opening her eyes with a long, loud yawn.

“Oh,” Pinkie mumbled, her eyes half-lidded with a tired grin on her face, “heya captain.” She stretched her arms out and arched her back like a cat, then saved me from any further awkwardness by sitting up in her seat and glancing around sleepily. “Do we have any Coke?”

No, I thought. There’s nothing left. Everything’s gone. Then I remembered what Fluttershy had said. There would be no harm in humoring her.

“I don’t think so,” I admitted, “but I’ll go check the boot...”

“Storage compartment,” Pinkie corrected.

“...Storage compartment. Just for you,” I finished. With Pinkie satisfied, I opened the door and swung my legs out of the car for a good stretch. Sleeping in the car hadn’t seemed very uncomfortable the previous night, but now that I was awake I could feel the aching of my knees, the discomfort in my neck and shoulders. I could only imagine what Angel and Fluttershy had to put up with in the backseat, where there was very little leg room compared to the front. At least Angel was short; Fluttershy would have been in constant discomfort the entire night.

With a final stretch of my back, I stood up and lazily wandered over to the back of the car. With everything that had happened, I wouldn’t have been surprised to have awoken in a jail cell with a dozen questions about why we had been caught sleeping in the car and who the Equestrians were. I supposed it was a small bit of good luck that we hadn’t as I clicked a button on my key and popped open the boot. I took a half-assed glance inside, then stopped myself and did a double take.

Inside the boot, completely forgotten about in all the stress and bustle of the previous few days, were my deluxe tent, camping equipment and fishing gear. Everything had been left in the car in the excitement of having the Equestrians with me. There were sleeping bags, the spare clothing I had taken with me, and even basic cooking supplies. Stuffed behind the tent was something I hadn’t even removed from the car during my last camping trip: a 2012 Hoyt Carbon Matrix RKT Camo bow along with a FUSE Satori six arrow quiver and a dozen arrows. I quickly shut the boot and hopped back into the car.

“No Coke,” I announced. “Found something better. Wake Angel up and get him buckled up, we’re heading out.” I glanced over at Pinkie and gave a small smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll buy you a Coke on the way.”

“Hey captain?” Pinkie asked. “Did you know that you just drove off the road?”

“Uh huh,” I muttered, paying careful attention to where I was driving. The poor Holden Barina wasn’t built for off-road travel, and it was heavily weighed down with all the camping gear in the boot. Getting trapped in the mud was something I had no intention of doing if I could help it.

“Oh. Okay then,” Pinkie replied. She took a careful sip of Coke and busied herself with looking out her window.

“We can’t go back to Burrinjuck,” I explained. “There’s no way to get around the gate and the time I paid for is all used up. We could try some free campsites, but those are usually pretty crowded. We’re trying to avoid attention, so while the price is right, the company isn’t. That leaves us with one choice.”

“Which is?” Pinkie asked.

“We rough it in the Outback,” I announced. I had to stop talking and concentrate on where I was driving though, as the terrain was getting rougher.

“Oooooh,” Pinkie swooned. “So this place is called the Outback?” She pressed her face against her window like a little kid.

“Uhm, no,” I revealed. “This is just southwest of Bundeena. We’re nowhere near the actual Outback. This is just the Bush.”

“The Bush? What’s the difference?” Pinkie asked.

I considered the question for a moment. “The difference is that the snakes in the Bush will kill you in about forty five minutes if you get bitten. The ones in the Outback will kill you in twenty.”

That answer had the desired effect, as Pinkie grew quiet and finally allowed me to concentrate on where I was driving. I had travelled along Pacific Crescent due west of Bundeena, then continued south as the paved road disappeared and gave way to dirt. I eventually turned off and followed a trail south along The Basin until we were forced to abandon the trail and truly drive off-road. Eventually, we could go no further. I stopped the car just outside the large canopy of trees that stretched out before us. We would have to hoof it the rest of the way, but we were close to water and far enough away from civilization that we wouldn’t be bothered by anyone. We retrieved the supplies from the boot, locked the car purely out of habit and hiked another thirty minutes until we came upon a good spot to set up. Another twenty minutes later we were resting just outside the completed tent, the rest of the supplies piled away into one of its corners. We were tired, hungry and bored. Luckily, I knew a way to solve some of those problems.

“Hey Angel,” I called over to the former bunny. He looked back at me with his strange black eyes. “How would you like to learn how to fish?”

The trip to the Bush and the subsequent search for a suitable campsite had taken a while, so it was already afternoon by the time Angel and I had found a nice spot to sit down by the creek that flowed nearby. We both had fishing hats on to protect us from the harsh rays of the sun that managed to pierce the overhead canopy. I was wearing my own hat, while Angel was wearing my father-in-law’s, which had been given to me after he passed away. I had offered to bring the girls along too, but they had insisted that they would be fine with getting our supplies sorted out and our rooms made up in the tent. That left Angel and I free to do some good old fashioned male bonding. But how did one teach a bunny how to fish?

“I take it you’ve never done this before,” I said to Angel as I tied a hook onto the fishing line. The blank stare he gave me was answer enough. Of course he hadn’t. He was a bunny. “Well, it’s never too late to learn, I guess.” I finished with the hook and placed a cheap lure onto it. No use putting a good one on there when it was likely going to be lost to a rookie fisherbunny soon. With the pole ready, I bid Angel to watch me as I cast the line into the water, then quickly reeled it back in. “Your turn,” I said, handing him the pole.

Surprisingly, he managed a good cast on the first try and avoided snagging the hook on the bottom as he reeled the line back in. With the basics mastered, I allowed him to cast the line back into the water.

“This isn’t too weird for you, is it?” I asked after fifteen minutes or so without a bite. “You’re okay with it, you don’t consider this to be like slaughter or anything?”

Angel merely shrugged. I hadn’t really noticed it up until that point, but Angel seemed to be taking things pretty well, all things considered. He was nothing if not adaptable, and I respected that. The only thing that really seemed to have fazed him was being unable to say anything other than the word ‘hag’ despite having vocal chords capable of much more for the first time ever. I supposed he would have liked to talk to Fluttershy using her own language for once. Despite what the show might have had us believe at times, Angel really did care deeply about Fluttershy.

“So... would you like to try to talk some more?” I offered. Angel looked at me out of the corner of his eyes, or at least I thought he did. It was hard to tell. “I know it means alot to you, mate,” I continued. “Besides, there’s no harm in trying is there?”

Angel was silent for a while, but eventually he nodded slowly. I was in business.

“Good on ya,” I said. Now, which word to try? It would need to be something easy, but nothing so embarrassing as mama or dada. I gave it some thought, then finally decided on a word. “Can you say hi?” I asked. He already had the h sound down, so it made sense to try to build off of it.

“Hhhhhhhgggghgghhh,” Angel gagged.

It looked like it was going to be harder than I thought.

The sun was already beginning to descend when Angel and I returned to the camp. Pinkie and Fluttershy were sitting outside the tent waiting for us, and Pinkie jumped up the moment we came into view.

“Hey captain! Come look at what me and Fluttershy did!” She grabbed me by the arm and practically dragged me into the tent. Inside, our possessions had been divided amongst the three rooms within the tent with everything seeming to be in the perfect spot. I can be a bit obsessive-compulsive, but the girls had done a better job than I ever could. That wasn’t all, however, as Pinkie made a point of showing me one side of the tent.

“I don’t get it...” I began.

“Don’t you remember?” Pinkie asked, exasperated. “This is where you had taped up the side of the tent, silly! Look, the hole’s all gone!”

Upon closer inspection, I could see faint stitch lines along where Angel had ripped open the tent to get to the food within when we had first found him. The tiny stitches were all the traces that were left of the hole. It was quite an amazing job.

“Wow, how did you do that?” I exclaimed.

Pinkie chuckled. “Fluttershy’s knowledge of sewing is freakish!” she explained, holding up a makeshift needle that looked to be made of wood, and thread that could have been made out of anything. Fluttershy blushed.

“You were gone a long time and there wasn’t anything else to do...” she admitted in a near-whisper.

“Well you did a hell of a good job, thank you,” I said. “We’ve got a surprise for you, too. C’mere Angel.”

"Oooh I love surprises!” Pinkie exclaimed.

The former bunny took a moment to enter the tent. Perhaps he hadn’t quite heard me, or perhaps he had been stalling. He glanced around nervously when he noticed everyone looking at him.

“Go on,” I encouraged. “Do your thing.”

Angel looked at the ground and took a few deep breaths, then looked back up at me before looking over at Fluttershy. Finally, he sighed and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Hhhhhhggg... Hhhh-h-h-hi F-f-ffwuffoo-shy,” he managed in a slightly squeaky, yet somewhat deeper-than-expected voice. He opened his eyes suddenly with a look of despair, as if he felt he had failed. The look on Fluttershy’s face showed no traces of disappointment, however. On the contrary, she looked thrilled beyond words.

“Oh, hello Angel!” she beamed, bending down to squeeze him in a hug. “Oh, I’m so proud of you. You’re so brave for coming and showing me this.”

The look of relief on Angel’s face was one I’ll never forget. It had taken hours, but he had never given up. It wasn’t much, but for him, it was enough. He had finally spoken to Fluttershy.

“Great job, Angel,” I said. “That’s not all, either. Let me show you what he caught.” I retreated out of the tent and quickly returned with three decent-sized fish. “I uh, I guess you two aren’t as excited to see these as I am, but Angel got all three of them.” I looked back out the tent entrance. It was getting quite dark. “I’m sorry, girls, I know it’s late and you’re both hungry. I guess I should have thought ahead and stopped to get something on the way here.” I scratched my beard in embarrassment. “Angel ate some berries and flowers while we were out there and I thought maybe I could scrounge up something for you two after we caught some fish, but I got distracted with helping Angel talk and.... well, just sit tight. I’ll hurry on back north into that little town we passed by and try to find something and...” I trailed off as I noticed Fluttershy was pale, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Her breathing was rapid too. “You okay?”

Fluttershy’s breathing became even faster, almost like she were hyperventilating. She began shaking as well, and I was about to lay her down in the recovery position in case she threw up when finally, she shouted, “I’ll eat one!”

All eyes turned to her, and she flinched when she opened her eyes and noticed. She made a visible effort to slow down her breathing. Once she had calmed down a bit, she looked me right in the eye and repeated herself.

“I’ll eat one,” she said. “I - I’ll eat a fish. You don’t have to go out, j-just stay here and cook, okay?”

“Are you absolutely sure?” I asked. Something told me she wasn’t, but she nodded. I wasn’t convinced though. “I can go out and find you something, really...”

“No. I’ll eat one, if that’s okay with you,” she repeated once again.

Pinkie shrugged. “Eh, I’ll have one too,” she said, shocking me further. “I’ve had these things that griffons like called hot dogs before, and while I don’t know if you can really call that meat, it’s probably close enough. I’m game.”

I looked back and forth between Pinkie and Fluttershy. Pinkie looked rather unconcerned, but Fluttershy had adopted a look of determination. Finally, I gave up. “Alright,” I conceded. “I’ll cook them up.” Fluttershy nodded, though I couldn’t help but think that she gave a small gulp as well.

About twenty minutes later, all of us save for Angel had freshly cooked fish on our plates. My hunger made me forget all about manners as I dug in. Fresh fish was always better than that frozen supermarket crap, and I couldn’t really help myself. Regardless of my hunger, I was still curious about Pinkie and Fluttershy’s decision to eat meat. I watched with interest as Pinkie brought a piece of fish up to her nose and sniffed it. She frowned and moved her head back slightly, then shrugged and popped it into her mouth and chewed.

“Eh,” Pinkie said after she swallowed. “I don’t really get what you see in this stuff. It’s not bad, but it’s definitely not a suitable substitute for cake.” With that said, she quietly continued her meal.

Fluttershy, on the other hand, was shaking again. It was quite noticeable as she tried to keep her hand still long enough to get some fish into her mouth. She finally succeeded in raising it to eye level, but just sat there staring at it.

“You don’t need to do this you know,” I said. I was going to say more, but my words had pushed Fluttershy into action. She squeezed her eyes shut, popped the fish into her mouth and quickly chewed and swallowed. “Okay... nevermind,” I added.

I finished off my own fish, and was soon followed up by Pinkie, but I noticed that Fluttershy still hadn’t taken another bite yet. Instead, she was holding her stomach and looking weakly into the small fire I had built. I was just preparing to ask if she were okay when she turned her head and threw up onto the ground. She clutched her stomach and looked up at us, her lower lip quivering and tears streaking down her face. None of us could get a word in before she jumped up and ran off toward the river.

“Fluttershy!” I called after her. I stood to follow her, but Pinkie grabbed my hand.

“Just let her be,” she said, being serious for once.

I held Pinkie’s gaze for a moment, then shook my head. “No,” I said simply and pulled my hand free. Angel looked like he wanted to follow Fluttershy too, but I held up a hand. “Stay put, I’ll go get her.” I didn’t wait for an answer as I took off after her.

Though it was dark, it wasn’t very difficult to follow Fluttershy. She hadn’t made any effort to move silently. Instead, she seemed to be moving as fast as she could. Even at her fastest, however, she had no hope of outrunning me. I was just beginning to think I would catch up with her when the sound of her footsteps suddenly stopped. I skidded to a halt and carefully scanned my surroundings. There were trees in every direction, and it took a moment to get my bearings and sort out which direction she had been moving. She had had a decent head start on me, after all, and I’d had to rely on sound to follow her. I moved forward slowly, parting branches as I went along.

Before long, I came upon a small clearing near the river where it widened into a small lake. Moon and starlight streamed in overhead and sparkled gently on the water. I was about to press forward when a hand suddenly grabbed my arm, startling me. I turned and saw Pinkie raise a finger to her lips in a shushing motion. She then pointed to a spot on the lake, where Fluttershy sat on the shore. Her head was buried in her knees, her shoulders shaking as she wept. I went to move forward again, but was once again stopped by Pinkie. This time, she turned my face and forced me to meet her gaze. She stared at me intently and mouthed the word no before putting her finger to her lips and pointing at Fluttershy again.

I was getting annoyed with Pinkie, but something told me I should listen to her, so we sat in silence and watched Fluttershy. After a long while, she wiped her eyes and stood up, then looked up at the stars, her hands clasped before her chest. To my amazement, she began to sing.

“Oh heart be still,

Help me be strong,

And let me wake up from this fairy tale gone wrong,”

She moved a hand out and seemed to gently gesture to the trees, the lake... everything.

“Is this all real,

Or some strange dream?

Have I become a part of something more extreme?”

Suddenly, her voice became strong, yet sweet.

“Suddenly courage,

Is here to help guide me,

It’s time to step up now,

To be there for my friends,

Suddenly courage,

Is flowing inside me,

I shall embrace it,

Til this fairy tale ends,"

At this point, Fluttershy began walking slowly, gently by the moonlit lake. To my astonishment, several birds flew down from the trees and landed close by to observe her as she continued her song.

“I may have bent,

But I’m not broken,

I may be weak and kind of shy and so soft-spoken,

But I will not,

Give up this fight,

I need to get back to my world and make things right,

Suddenly courage,

Is here to help guide me,

It’s time to step up now,

To be there for my friends,

Suddenly courage,

Is flowing inside me,

I shall embrace it,

Til this fairy tale ends.”

By the time her song was finished, Fluttershy had a small flock of various birds, two small kangaroos, and a small scattering of various rodents that were hard to see from my vantage point surrounding her. She sat down once again at the edge of the lake. I couldn’t tell if she was trying to speak to them or not, but she seemed... stronger. And somehow satisfied.

“Come on,” Pinkie whispered, startling me once again. “She’ll come back when she’s ready.” I looked at Pinkie and nodded. I had been wrong to doubt her. She was one of Fluttershy’s best friends after all - she would know her well. I took her hand and we quietly made our way back to camp.

Pinkie and Angel were both fast asleep, but I was still awake when Fluttershy returned to camp. I watched with interest as she walked over to her discarded plate from earlier. She picked up her fork and calmly, methodically, ate the rest of her fish. When she was finished, it seemed to me again that she somehow seemed stronger, more confident. Then it hit me full on.

She hasn’t given up.

Fluttershy had been through Hell and back. She had lost everything she had, was trapped in a land where everything was different from what she knew. Yet she hadn’t given up. Even in her weakest moments, she was still struggling to move forward and overcome the hand she had been dealt. I couldn’t stop myself from taking a sharp intake of breath as a tear made its way down my cheek.

“Oh, you’re still awake...” Fluttershy whispered, looking my way. She suddenly squinted and gasped. “Oh my, what’s wrong?” she asked with concern, moving over to kneel next to me.

I considered myself a strong man. I had lived through a lot of things I wouldn’t wish on my enemies. But I could not keep the tears from falling. “You...” I breathed. “You haven’t given up.” I said.

Fluttershy studied my face for a moment. “Yes,” she said, simply.

I shook my head and looked away, ashamed to meet her gaze. “I couldn’t do it,” I whispered. “I couldn’t stay strong. Everything that has happened... I was ready to give up. I... admitted defeat.” I closed my eyes. “You stayed strong, but I admitted defeat.”

I felt Fluttershy’s hand move my face to look back in her direction and opened my eyes. Her aqua eyes locked onto mine, and her face softened. Then she smiled.

“No, Doug. You didn’t admit defeat. You’re still going strong,” she said.

“Yesterday...” I began.

“Yesterday you told me that you’d admit defeat when you have me sleep in your car,” Fluttershy nodded. “I understand that. But you don’t understand something.”

I looked down to the ground for a moment, then back up into her eyes. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“What I mean is I never went to sleep in your car,” she revealed.

My throat tightened. “You... what?”

Fluttershy smiled sweetly. “You told me that you would admit defeat if I fell asleep in your car.” She stood up and held her small hand out to me. “I couldn’t let you do that, so I stayed up all night and watched over you and the others.”

New tears began to fall as I looked up at her smiling face. I took her hand and she helped me to my feet.

“I... I don’t know how to thank you,” I gasped.

She looked up at me. “You don’t have to. All you have to do is... is not give up. Be here for me. For Pinkie. For Angel.” She tilted her head. “For Victoria. For everything we’ve lost. Together. We’ll be here for each other, right?” she asked. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my head in her shoulder. “It’s what friends are for...”

Twelve Days: A Reminiscence

Twelve Days: A Reminiscence
May 6, 2013

Time is a funny thing. The events that occurred nearly a year ago taught me that in very real ways. To be sure, anyone who has read my memoirs up to this point must feel as if I had spent months with the Equestrians I had come across. I wouldn’t blame them – a lot can happen in twelve days.

Thinking back on things now, it seems that everything that happened after I helped reunite Pinkie, Angel and Fluttershy with the Cutie Mark Crusaders happened in a blur. Certainly, things got a lot more interesting, but I’m getting ahead of myself. An awful lot happened in the weeks following the arrival of the Crusaders, but a lot happened in those first twelve days as well – things that I wish I had figured out earlier. Things that, perhaps if I had paid more attention to them, might have made a difference and spared us some of our tribulations.

Things that are important to note before going forward with the story.

That first day, April 13th of 2012, will forever be burned into my memory. I had been out camping at Burrinjuck as an early birthday present from my wife, Victoria, who had left the country on business and would be away on my actual birthday – or so I thought.

In hindsight, the pink sky and the chocolate smell should have been a sure sign of Discord, the embodiment of chaos. It would have had I known at the time that Equestria, among other worlds, was a genuine place and that the characters that inhabited it were, in fact, real. My early ignorance can hopefully be forgiven, as I now know that I am not the only one who doubted the stories of those I found.

I also now realize that I never would have believed Pinkie and Fluttershy if Pinkie hadn’t told me their names. It was some kind of unexpected side effect from the chaotic magical explosion that had sent them to Earth – none of the Equestrians could be identified unless they, or the person who found them, spoke their names. Even with Pinkie supplying their names, I still didn’t believe them until the next day when I inadvertently broke a Pinkie Promise and incurred Pinkie’s wrath. I didn’t fully understand that until Discord paid us a visit later and I was unable to properly identify him without Ashton supplying me with his name.

Over the next few days, the girls were supplied with clothing and were helped with getting used to their new bodies and walking. As it turns out, despite being able to walk on two legs as ponies, it becomes a bit more difficult when your entire body is shaped differently. Pinkie, being Pinkie, was able to adapt to her new body fairly quickly. Fluttershy, on the other hand, took a while to get used to it, and even broke down in tears at the sight of her new face. It wasn’t until later, when Sweetie Belle told her she made a ‘very pretty’ human, that she came to accept her new looks.

While we were out getting clothes, I eventually explained to Pinkie and Fluttershy about My Little Pony and how they were considered fictional characters on Earth. They both took the news fairly well, or so I originally thought. I didn’t know at the time just how deep the whole ‘fictional characters are real’ thing went, either. At any rate, Pinkie convinced me to purchase some toys of her friends for her. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until much later that I realized that the toys were a coping tool for Pinkie, and that she was falling into a deep depression. I wonder now what would have happened if I had declined to purchase them.

Pinkie’s depression would turn out to be far more important than anyone could imagine, but I was about to receive some outside assistance for coping with Fluttershy’s emotions. F.A.’s decision to directly interfere with events and ensure that Angel was sent to Earth along with the ponies worked out much better than he at first thought it did. He realized later that he had been going about things the wrong way for a very long time. Too much focus on Pinkie’s depression had led to countless failures in his quest, but sending Angel to Earth was one of the things that finally led to Fluttershy gaining her courage and staying with me. With Fluttershy firmly staying put with us, F.A. had indirectly succeeded with Pinkie.

But again, I’m getting ahead of myself. If none of the above makes sense it soon will.

After Angel’s arrival, we all packed up and headed to my home in Sydney. Along the way, Pinkie became addicted to Coca Cola, and Fluttershy addicted to Lady Gaga. Once we arrived I decided to jump online and see if I could find anything out about the other ponies that had been sent to Earth. I certainly didn’t expect to find out anything, but oddly enough, I found John, also known as Fullmetal Pony, and he had found the Cutie Mark Crusaders. This was also about the time that Pinkie began to understand written English.

I wasn’t aware of the connection between the pony fiction website and those who found Equestrians at the time. If I had been, I might have caught some of the conversations that some of the others who had found ponies were having. As it was, I had a lead and I took advantage of it. I contacted my friend Moey, and set things up so that John and the Crusaders could come to Australia.

I truly wish I had understood Moey better back then. If I did, I would have found some other way to get things done without involving him. Then again, there are plenty of things I wish had happened differently. A lot of bad things happened because of misunderstandings but, ah I am once again jumping ahead.

It wasn’t long after finding the Crusaders that I found Princess Celestia herself. I suspected early on that she would be crucial in getting the Equestrians back home, and I couldn’t have been more right. Finding out that she was in the care of DragonLS, an online friend of mine, was uplifting, as Pinkie and Fluttershy had been in an out of depression. The smart thing, though, would have been to realize that Celestia, and those who found her, would be targets. If I could figure out how crucial the princesses were to getting the Equestrians back home so easily, how was it that I didn’t stop to think that other forces would realize that as well?

Shortly after discovering Celestia’s whereabouts, I had my first run-in with Ashton. Looking back on everything, I almost pity him. The fact remains though, that for every useful thing he did for us, he did something equally unfortunate. I am uncertain as to whether I can ever forgive him for the things he has done, but I can at least acknowledge that some effort was put into making things right. Perhaps some of what he did can be blamed on Discord, but I have to wonder at what might have happened if he had never let the Spirit into his home in the first place. Perhaps it wouldn’t even matter.

The meeting with Ashton and Discord put a bit of strain on my relationship with Pinkie and Fluttershy, as I originally tried to hide Discord’s identity from them. Angel, on the other hand, knew who he was almost as soon as I did. The bunny was clever – much more so than any of the others might ever imagine. He also met F.A. before anyone else did, and led me to the note and toy that was left behind as a kind of grim foreshadowing of what was to come.

Every winner deserves her prize.

Even now, those words haunt me. I had guessed early on that they were referring to Pinkie Pie, but I never would have imagined what they truly meant. I guess in the end, F.A.’s words and gesture were proof that he possessed a little bit of humanity after all, but it does little to make up for what happened. I am still of the belief that something else could have been done.

I learned to put more faith in the Equestrians after the meeting with Discord. We had gone to the mall to get Angel some more clothing, and I thought that Angel had become lost. It was Fluttershy who convinced me to trust Pinkie and Angel to return and, sure enough, they did return safe and sound.

The next several days were very hard on us all. Pinkie and Fluttershy both fell back into depression, and I tried everything from parties to video games to try to keep them happy. A phone call with the Cutie Mark Crusaders helped, along with Angel’s determination to be able to speak. Angel’s efforts were, in part, what eventually led Fluttershy to staying with us.

Despite some progress, the girls would still have fits of depression. I thought things were looking up when we found out that Rainbow Dash and Applejack had been found and were safe, but that was before my wife returned home early from her trip to surprise me on my birthday.

Whether it was fate or sheer bad luck, she came home to find Pinkie and I in an unfortunate position. I still don’t blame her for her reaction and it’s still painful to think about. Especially considering that the next time I saw her was in a completely unexpected way. Long story short, I found myself out of a home and low on funds.

I turned to Moey in an effort to get a roof over our heads and hopefully patch things up with my Victoria, but things went sour quickly and we left his house. Perhaps I should have heard him out back then, but in my opinion his actions were inexcusable. I am still not entirely sure how I feel about him, but it is now too late to take anything back.

It is my belief that the hardships I faced in the days to come helped to firmly solidify my friendship with the Equestrians into an unbreakable bond, and were perhaps the final things that led to Fluttershy’s courage and her decision to stay with us. I wonder now if my first encounter with the Princess of the Night might have become my last if it weren’t for Fluttershy. The enormous power surge brought about by the sudden arrival of not one, but two of Equestria’s magic users had been unexpected for all of those involved.

But alas, that is yet to come. For now I will say that, while things didn’t exactly get any easier when John and the Cutie Mark Crusaders arrived, it did mark the beginning of the end of the Equestrians’ journeys on Earth, and offered us a brief moment of respite before the tragedies to come unfolded.

Power Surge

Power Surge
April 25, 2012

“I miss trains.”

It had only taken three minutes before someone had complained about the seating arrangements we had to put up with. I had thought the first to complain might have been Scootaloo, but I was wrong. Apple Bloom, who was sitting on Pinkie’s lap and crushed between the rest of the Equestrians in the backseat, had been the first to speak.

“They were so much bigger,” she continued, “and we didn’t have to all smush together like this.”

“Sorry, girls,” I murmured. “This car’s only meant to seat five at most.”

Transportation was going to be a problem, what with the car being crammed full with only half of the Equestrians we assumed to be on Earth within it. Lodging would be another issue. My tent could probably hold Pinkie, Fluttershy, Angel, the Crusaders, and John and I – barely. If we planned on finding the others we’d need to sort out some better arrangement.

“Well, Angel seems to be enjoying it,” Fluttershy chipped in. The former bunny was sitting on her lap and had decided to pass the time by occasionally kicking the back of John’s seat. Ordinarily I might have told Angel to knock it off, but my mind was on other things.

There were hundreds of questions running through my head. How were the Crusaders doing, both physically and mentally? How was John coping with everything? How many others knew about the Crusaders? John had mentioned someone helping him to dye their hair – did that person know their true identities? How was his arm, currently in a cast, holding up? How had his encounter with Discord gone? Had he met F.A?

Despite everything I wanted to know, I found myself remaining quiet as I drove north towards Newcastle. The plan was to head a bit further north to Hawk’s Nest and see if I could get accommodation at the Ocean Side Motel. It was a bit of a drive, but with everything that had happened recently all I could do was move on instinct. I had stayed at the place before and it was a lot cheaper than most of the other hotels or resorts I had stayed at. The last thing I wanted to do was try to fit everyone into the tent unless absolutely necessary.

“Um... so... ya live around here?” John asked, breaking me away from my thoughts.

Used to.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. He looked tired, as should be expected after a twenty-plus hour plane ride.

“Yeah.” It was only a half-lie. “But we’re heading towards a nice hotel that I know of. It uh, well, it’ll probably be better-suited given the number of people we have to shelter.”

“Good point,” he agreed. He then turned to address Sweetie Belle in the back seat. “Might also be better to stay in a hotel in case you have another magical issue.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie replied somberly.

I had completely forgotten about John’s call the other day. He had said something about Sweetie having trouble with something related to magic, but I hadn’t been paying much attention, what with Pinkie and Fluttershy both being unstable at best. I glanced back at John.

“Sorry about the other day. The girls and I had some... issues to deal with.” I really didn’t want to get into details right then, and talking about it in front of the girls might set them off again.

In fact, there was a lot that I needed to talk to John about without the Equestrians listening in. We were just north of Berowra, and I decided that it was as good a time as any and found a place to pull off to the side of the road. I looked over at John, who looked back apprehensively.

“Wh-what are you doing?” he asked.

I tried to reassure him. “We should probably have a quick chat, and the others should stretch their legs a bit,” I said. “We’ve been cramped up in the car for almost an hour, and we have about another hour to go.”

John unbuckled his seatbelt and sighed, “I thought Australia was a small place.” I could only give a small chuckle at that. It was typical thinking for tourists who came to visit.

“Are we getting out?” asked Scootaloo.

“Just for a quick stretch.” John got out of the car and opened the door on Fluttershy’s side. Angel hopped off of her lap and onto John’s foot, then darted quickly away before he could react. Fluttershy then got out, followed by Pinkie and Apple Bloom, and finally Sweetie and Scootaloo after I insisted that they get out on that side of the car as opposed to the side closest to the highway.

Once everyone was out of the car, I addressed the Equestrians.

“Okay everyone, John and I need to go discuss a few things. Feel free to stretch your legs,” I looked at the Cutie Mark Crusaders, “and have a bit of a run around, or listen to the stereo. Just keep away from the highway obviously, and keep out of the trees and bushes since there are venomous creatures out here.” I then turned to John. “Alright, let’s go,” I said, and led him towards the trees and bushes.

“Uh, can’t we stay by the car?” John asked. He looked a little nervous.

“Nah, let them have some time together,” I replied, casually brushing a large golden orb weaver spider aside as we pushed further into the bushes. “They've been through a lot and we need to discuss this alone anyway.”

“You’re sure?” John asked distractedly. “I mean, maybe we should keep an eye on them at least...” He took a wide step over something and about stumbled. “I haven’t really told them about wildlife here outside of the Reef.”

I thought back to what Pinkie and Fluttershy had told me at the mall after we had ‘lost’ Angel.

“I trust them to do the right thing,” I replied. We finally came to a small clearing with a few conveniently-sized rocks to sit on. I quickly looked under them for any nasty surprises, then set them back and had a seat on one, indicating the other for John to sit on. He cautiously sat down and waited for me to tell him what was on my mind.

“So...” I began, trying to figure out where to begin. “How have you been coping with having to take care of, well, them?” I asked, indicating back toward where the car was.

“Well...” John began, raising up his cast, “things could have gone a little better.”

“Too right,” I agreed. “So Discord did that to you, did he? I guess you and the girls were lucky.” I looked him in the eye. “How are they coping?”

“They’ve gotten over that,” John replied. “Lord knows what they saw back when he was really out of control.” He gave a slight shudder and continued. “Bigger issue is Sweetie’s magic. I was hoping Pinkie and Fluttershy might know something about that.”

If Sweetie’s magic was causing more problems than Discord was, then it really was a big problem. I wondered just what kind of things had happened as a result.

“Well, neither one of them are unicorns. I’m not sure how much help either of them will be.” I paused for a moment in thought. “I suppose just having them talk might help a little. It certainly couldn't hurt.”

“Yeah,” John replied. “I mean, Pinkie’s taken care of unicorns before and Fluttershy’s a close friend of Rarity’s... maybe they learned something about them? If they’ve got nothing, they can at least help out Scootaloo.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with Scootaloo?”

“She got really spooked by Indiana Jones.”

I thought back to the last time I had seen an Indiana Jones movie. It had been quite some time. Scootaloo didn’t seem to be the type to scare easily, and I couldn’t remember anything too scary in the movies. At any rate, it was just another thing to add to our list of problems.

John continued. “Oh Jesus, do Fluttershy and Pinkie know about the show?”

I simply nodded. I was still busy thinking about Scootaloo and wondering what had spooked her.

John seemed taken aback, however. “They had no issue with it?” he asked.

I shrugged. “To be honest, it’s hard to tell. I think that may actually be the least of their concerns right now.” I stood up and began to pace around the clearing. “Their main focus seems to be getting everypony back together and getting home.”

“Surviving here is a more pressing issue though,” John growled. Perhaps I did sound a bit too casual about it. “I’ve got Sweetie sick as a dog from her magic, Scootaloo breaking down, and Apple Bloom ready to snap. It’s... god, I don’t even know what it is, but it’s bad.”

It looked like I wasn’t the only one having a hard time of things. Apple Bloom snapping? She seemed like the sweetest, most innocent character on the show half the time. What had gotten into her to get her so riled up?

What I needed was some time to talk to each of the Crusaders alone. Pinkie and Fluttershy had been on edge enough as it was, I certainly didn’t want to find out whether or not I could handle the Cutie Mark Crusaders having emotional breakdowns as well. I stopped pacing and faced John.

“Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to get these Equestrians back to their rightful home?” I asked.

John stared at me for a moment, then chuckled. “I just caused my mother and sister to get into a car accident to get the Crusaders here, stole from my family’s bank account, and smuggled a bunch of minors across countries. Ha! Liam Neeson be damned.”

Bloody hell, the kid was ruthless. I guess looks can be deceiving.

I turned away from him in thought. Finally, I asked, “Are they alright? Your mother and sister?”

“They’ll be pissed...” he replied bluntly, “But I did what I had to.”

Interesting.

I allowed myself a small grin. “Good,” I said. “Because after tonight, there won’t be any more hotels. We’ll be roughing it in the Outback with no electricity, no communication with the outside world, and probably not even any toilets. We’re almost completely out of money and have nowhere else to stay for the moment. Tonight’s stay at the hotel will be a luxury compared to what Angel, the girls and I have had to put up with lately, and if you meant any of what you just said, you won’t speak a single complaint about any of it. Is that clear?”

With that said, I began walking back towards the car. He would follow, eventually. Like me, he had nowhere else to go.

Sure enough, the sound of footsteps came up behind me as he tried to keep up.

“W-what do we do? Stay out there and wait?” he asked, somewhat aghast. He stopped walking and called out angrily, “For god’s sake! Discord is still out there!”

I turned and glared at him. “So is Twilight Sparkle!” I growled. “So is Rarity and Princess Luna!” I lowered my voice to a harsh whisper. “And we’ve heard nothing from them. For all I know, they’re still out there, alone and afraid. They might have no food, no shelter, and nobody there to protect them. Things are going to be rough for us for a while, but the Equestrians have it worse.”

The only sounds for the next few moments came from the birds and other wildlife that continued to go about their business around us. John looked as if he’d just been punched in the gut.

“Look,” I continued in a gentler tone. “When I first contacted you I had everything sorted out, but things changed. It was too late to cancel your flights and we still needed to reunite the ponies that we have found. There’s nothing more to do than just...” I thought back to Fluttershy, “not give up. Now come on.” I continued back towards the car.

To my relief, John remained silent and followed. I felt some pity for the kid, flying halfway across the world to find out that he’d have to live in the wilderness for a while. It was important that he knew what was going on, though. If he meant what he had said about doing whatever it took to get the Equestrians back home, we’d be fine.

When we finally got back to the car I noticed that Angel, Scootaloo and Pinkie were looking at something Fluttershy had in her arms while Sweetie and Apple Bloom looked on from a distance. Sweetie looked disgusted, though that may have been a side-effect of her magical problems, while Apple Bloom seemed mildly concerned.

“Hey captain, look at what Fluttershy found!” Pinkie called out as she saw us emerge from the bushes. She was grinning.

“Sweetie?” John called out. “You okay?”

“Hey John, come have a look at this!” Scootaloo beamed. “It’s awesome!”

I strode over to where Fluttershy was sitting and had a look. The next moment, I was frozen in terror as I saw what she held in her arms.

“Not now, Scootaloo. I need t—” John said as he drew near. Then he saw it. “Holy hell!”

An eastern brown snake, one of the most aggressive and venomous snakes in the world, capable of killing within minutes and known to bite repeatedly, was cradled in Fluttershy’s arms. Its tongue flicked over her skin as it investigated its surroundings.

“Get... back!” I called out, trying to be quiet so as not to startle the snake. Pinkie immediately complied, but Scootaloo disregarded the warning.

“Scootaloo,” John bellowed, “get away from the snake.” Scootaloo frowned, but obeyed.

“W-what’s wrong?” Fluttershy asked, uncertain as to why we were upset.

Conflicting emotions fought for control of my mind. Part of me wanted to yell and tell Fluttershy how she could have gotten them all killed with such recklessness. Another part, however...

“Just... it’s nothing.” I said, straining to remain calm. “Say goodbye to your little friend now, we have to get going.”

“Oh... okay then,” Fluttershy said quietly. “Goodbye, little cutie. You go back to your family now.” She set the snake down and, after a tense moment in which it didn’t move, it finally slithered into the grass and away from the car.

I couldn’t help but notice the shocked look John was giving me. Admittedly, it was a huge relief to me when the snake left the area, but I didn’t have to let him know that. I turned to him and gave a half-smile.

“See? I told you they’d be fine.”

We arrived at the Ocean Side Hotel a while later after a long, scenic drive along the Pacific Ocean. The stay wouldn't cost a lot of money compared to other hotels I could have chosen, and the hotel was located in a quiet, peaceful area that I hoped would have a calming effect on everyone, John included. There was a small beach within a minute’s walk from the hotel, there wasn't much traffic at all in the area and it had the overall feel of a small, quiet neighborhood - which it essentially was.

It only took a few minutes for me to run into the office and get us a room. The hotel’s owner was just as nice and courteous as I remembered, which was a nice change from the last hotel clerk I’d had to put up with back in Sydney.

Moments later we were in the room, which was a two bedroom suite with a total of three beds, a small kitchen, and a relatively large lounge area for the price that I’d paid. There would be more than enough room for the eight of us.

Once everyone had had a few minutes to explore the rooms and get settled in, I called them all together into the lounge room. Pinkie, Fluttershy and Angel came quickly, followed by John and the Crusaders. They all took seats on the couch, chairs, or floor. I addressed the entire group.

“I’d just like to say a few things regarding our situation,” I announced, making eye contact with John and hoping he wouldn’t interrupt. “Firstly, I’d like to apologize to you,” I knelt beside the Crusaders and spoke gently, “because I know things haven’t been easy for you and it’s not going to get much easier. It’s practically a miracle that we’ve been able to get our two groups together in a relatively short amount of time.”

The Crusaders looked at each other, then back to me curiously. I could only imagine what they were thinking. I leaned a little closer.

“Have you three ever gone camping?” I asked.

“No,” Sweetie answered quickly.

Scootaloo looked over to Fluttershy. “Does that time with you count?” Fluttershy smiled and nodded in response. “Okay, guess we did.”

“I don’t know,” said Apple Bloom slowly. “Camping is more than just going into the woods for a little while. Ya gotta set up a tent, a fire, and stones to keep critters out. That’s what App... that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

I glanced at Sweetie Belle. “Have you ever wanted to go camping?” I asked.

“Apple Bloom did say it was fun... and I did want to go...” She seemed a bit uncertain of herself. Probably because I was still a stranger to her.

“I’m going to leave it up to you three, then,” I announced, giving John another quick look. “We might need to go camping for a while until we can find your friends and family. It should be fun, but we might have to camp for a long time. That means you might have to put up with sleeping on the ground or even,” I made a show of waving imaginary fumes away from my face, “having to be dirty for awhile. But if you can do that for us, it should help us while we look for the others.” I stood up. “If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I can try to find another way.”

The room was quiet while the Crusaders absorbed what they had just heard. Eventually, Apple Bloom looked at her friends, John, and then to me.

“Ya promise you’ll find our families?” she asked quietly.

“Apple Bloom...” Sweetie whimpered. It was clear to me that earning their trust was going to take more than just the few hours we had been together.

“Sweetie, he found Pinkie,” Apple Bloom explained. “Pinkie knows everypony, so I’m sure it’ll be easy to find them.” I was pretty certain that not even she believed it would be as easy as she just said, but she missed her family. She was probably desperate.

I held my hand out to Apple Bloom. “It might not be that easy, but I promise that we won’t give up,” I looked at Fluttershy out of the corner of my eye, “until we have found them all.”

“Okay,” Apple Bloom agreed, taking my hand and shaking it hard. Christ, she was strong for a kid. “Deal.”

I glanced at the other Crusaders. “All agreed?”

“If Apple Bloom says okay, then I’m in,” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

Sweetie tilted her head down. “If I can see Rarity... it’s fine.” She looked up at me with a small smile. “She’s gonna be mad that you got us dirty though.”

I smiled back. “I look forward to explaining myself to her in person.” With that settled, it was time to get back to business. “We’re going to need some supplies for when we leave. There’s a store a short walk up the road from here with fresh food, anyone want to come with me?”

“Oh, um...” Pinkie said from her spot on the couch. “I was kind of hoping we could go swimming.” She looked down at what she was wearing. “If that’s okay with you,” she added, sounding almost like Fluttershy. To this day I still have no idea when she put on the swimsuit or where she had gotten it from. I certainly hadn’t bought it for her.

“Swimming?” Scootaloo asked. A slight grin appeared on her face. “It has been a while...”

“If we’re gonna be dirty, we might as well swim,” Sweetie conjectured. That didn’t make any sense, but that was kid logic for you.

“Wait, wait.” John said, getting everyone’s attention. “Girls, the ocean isn’t the safest place to be, especially since we’re all pretty tired from the flight. Second, we don’t even have swimsuits.”

“Uh, duh,” Pinkie retorted. “There’s a swimming pool just outside. And of course you have swimsuits!” She put her hands on her knees and bounced gently on the couch.

“No, we don’t,” John replied. It seemed as if everyone had forgotten about getting supplies at hearing of the possibility of going swimming. “Trust me, I packed the bags and there weren’t swimsuits in there. They’re probably the only things I didn’t pack.”

Pinkie indicated some bags by the couch. “You mean these bags?” she asked innocently.

When had those gotten there? I wondered. Pinkie seemed to be breaking the laws of reality a little bit more than usual today. It made me wonder. Maybe my theory about their abilities was correct!

“How did...” John looked to the Crusaders. “I didn’t drag those up, right?”

“No...” Scootaloo said. She went over to investigate the bags with Sweetie and John, calling out in delight at what was no doubt the sudden appearance of swimsuits for them all. Regardless of whatever Pinkie had done to make it happen, it had happened. They would be happy, at least.

I took that opportunity to head out and get the supplies myself. We’d need canned goods and other long-life foods for what was likely going to be a harsh time ahead. John was right. He hadn’t said anything, but I could see the looks he had been giving me. It was awful to make the Crusaders deal with roughing it in the Outback for however long we would have to, but what choice did I have?

Just as I reached the door, I felt a tug on my arm. I looked down and was surprised to see Apple Bloom looking up at me. I was further surprised when she said, “I’ll come with ya.”

I looked back to where the others were still discussing swimsuits and the pool. “You sure? You don’t want to go swimming with your friends?”

Apple Bloom looked down to the floor. “Well... ya said that we’re gonna need supplies, and if gettin’ those helps us get the others back, then that’s what I wanna do.”

The determination I heard in her voice was both admirable and heartbreaking. I knew all-too-well what it felt like to lose someone you loved dearly. I nearly put my hand on her shoulder, but thought twice about it and let it be.

I looked up to see that Fluttershy and Angel had joined us at the door. Fluttershy blushed slightly.

“Angel doesn’t know how to swim,” she admitted. “Not very well, anyway. I couldn’t just leave him in the room while the others played.” She gave his head a pat and smiled up at me.

Apple Bloom became noticeably less tense when she heard that Fluttershy was joining us. She took Fluttershy’s hand and together the four of us left and started walking towards the store.

The walk to the store was a short one. The store itself was a tiny little building simply called ‘Supermarket,’ and was about as basic as they came. I had seen petrol stations in Sydney that were bigger, but the place was quiet, out of the way, and had what we needed. Fluttershy excused herself and took Angel to go look at some magazines and toys, leaving Apple Bloom and I to ourselves.

We walked over to the fresh produce section and had a look around. I felt awkward and uncomfortable standing there with Apple Bloom by my side. It was always like that with children. I towered over them and had inadvertently scared a child more than once just by being seen by them. It was no wonder she had mistaken me for a bear.

Unable to think of anything to say, I grabbed a few apples and put them in my shopping basket. Apple Bloom, however, was unimpressed.

“Now see, this one here’s no good,” she said, removing one of them from the basket. I couldn’t see anything wrong with it. “If we’re gonna be roughin’ it, we should at least eat good food.” She eyed the bunch of apples on display and picked a few out, then placed them in the basket. “Them apples are better,” she announced proudly.

“Right. Thanks,” I said, nodding.

I wondered about what John had said earlier. Sweetie’s magic was making her feel ill, Scootaloo had been scared by some movies, and Apple Bloom was apparently on the verge of snapping. It was still hard to imagine little Apple Bloom getting angry, but if anything could screw with your emotions, it would be getting sent to another dimension or world.

Apple Bloom was studying some bananas, one hand on her chin as if she were in deep thought. I decided that was as good a time as ever to ask.

“So,” I began. “How are you and your friends handling everything so far?”

Apple Bloom sighed, still staring at the bananas. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and let out another long sigh, then she looked up at me.

“I’m just so sick of it all!” she exclaimed, catching me off guard. She crossed her arms and turned away from me. “Sweetie’s magic is messin’ with her and making her sick half the time. John doesn’t know how to fix it and Rarity’s not around to help, either!” She turned back to me and lifted her arms in frustration. “Then there’s Scootaloo! She won’t tell anypony what’s bothering her! How am I supposed to help if she won’t tell me what’s wrong?”

It seemed as if whatever emotions Apple Bloom had bottled up within her were coming out then and there. She wasn’t through yet, either.

“Not to mention the fact that we’re stuck here in these weird bodies without most of our friends and family. Oh, and then there’s the fact that Discord is loose! We’re gonna have to deal with him too, right?” She slumped her shoulders and placed her hands on the shelf, staring at the bananas once again. Her next words were a whisper. “I just wanna go home.”

Fluttershy and Angel, both of whom had come around the corner from another aisle and stopped to listen, came forward. Fluttershy took Apple Bloom’s face into her hands and smiled down at her.

“There, there,” Fluttershy soothed. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll have a talk with Sweetie when we get back.”

Apple Bloom wrapped her arms around Fluttershy and pressed her face against the former pegasus’s shoulder. Even Angel put a hand on Apple Bloom’s back in support. When they finally separated, Fluttershy smiled down at Apple Bloom.

“I’d say your friend John has done a very good job keeping you girls safe,” she continued. “And I know he kind of looks like a bear,” she gestured towards me, “but did you know that Doug has had to endure a lot of pain too? All because he cares about us and promised to help us get back home.”

Apple Bloom blinked at Fluttershy. “He has?” she asked.

Fluttershy nodded and Apple Bloom looked up at me as if she were studying some kind of strange creature which, I supposed, she technically was. I felt like she was somehow silently interrogating me.

After a moment, she asked, “Do ya want to talk about it?”

Explaining my situation to Apple Bloom had been emotionally draining, but I felt better once I had finished my story. The former filly had paid careful attention as I spoke and seemed quite sympathetic upon hearing about my wife. It was something we had in common, she explained; we both missed our families.

Afterward, I felt that Apple Bloom and I had formed a bit of a bond or understanding between ourselves. If she was still nervous around me, she wasn’t showing it as we arrived back at our hotel room with supplies in hand. I unlocked the door and let us in.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were passed out on the couch in the lounge. After their long flight and swim, I couldn’t blame them. I could remember being completely exhausted after travelling between Australia and the US.

Apple Bloom and Fluttershy quietly helped me put away the groceries and other supplies while Angel crept away towards the bedrooms. It was getting late in the afternoon and John and the Crusaders were fatigued, so I figured we’d sort out an early dinner and then go to bed. The road ahead was going to be rough, and they’d need their rest.

Dinner was a specialty of mine - stir fry. It was quick, easy to make and, furthermore, vegetarian if you wanted it to be. That didn’t stop me from cooking up some beef on the side for John and myself, however.

What I wasn’t expecting was Scootaloo asking for some beef. Especially after I explained what it was and where it came from.

“Oh don’t worry about all that,” she said, waving me off. “It tastes awesome, and that’s good enough for me!”

When and where she had tasted beef before, I didn’t know. Then again, Pinkie and Fluttershy had both had meat as well. I guess I shouldn’t have been overly surprised.

If it hadn’t been for Pinkie, dinner would have been a very quiet affair. John, like myself, was the type of person who focused on the food when he ate as opposed to chatting. Fluttershy talked with Pinkie and the girls about swimming, but Fluttershy was naturally quiet and the girls did more eating than talking. I supposed it was only natural after only having airline food the previous day.

Everything was going fine until I noticed Sweetie looking nauseous. At first I thought she was feeling queasy about the meat that Scootaloo was scarfing down, but then she reached up and felt her forehead as if by reflex.

“Sweetie?” John asked. He had noticed her as well. “What is it?”

Sweetie shut her eyes tight and groaned. “It’s happening again,” she whimpered. “My head hurts.”

Fluttershy stopped eating and looked alarmed. “Oh dear... oh no! I haven’t had time to talk to her about it yet...” She looked ashamed, but it wasn’t her fault this was happening.

“Is this her magic?” I asked, setting my own spoon down.

Sweetie continued to cry out in pain. “P-please,” she whined, “I d-don’t wanna!”

Apple Bloom suddenly stood up from her chair and leaned over the table to take Sweetie’s hand. She looked at me quickly, then back to Sweetie.

“Sweetie, listen! It’s gonna be alright, but ya gotta settle down!” she pleaded. “Ya won’t have to do this much longer. Doug said he’s gonna help find sis and Rarity and-”

“Rarity?” Sweetie called out in confusion. “Rarity! Help! I-” At that moment she screamed and some inner force held deep within her, something that was released by her emotions, was unleashed.

It happened quite literally in the blink of an eye. A surge of energy that I could actually feel, followed by a brilliant flash of green light and a concussive sound like a small explosion. I felt a rush of heat and air flow past my face, and when I opened my eyes... chaos.

Most of the food on the table was gone. John had either been knocked to the floor or had jumped off his chair in order to avoid the blast. The tablecloth was covered with broken glass and was singed in places. The biggest problem was what had been seated directly across from Sweetie Belle.

Lying in a crumpled, unconscious heap against the far wall nearly two metres away from the table, their bodies burned and heavily bleeding from multiple contusions, were Angel and Apple Bloom.

From Dusk Until Dawn

From Dusk Until Dawn
April 25, 2012

It was like a scene from a nightmare. Angel and Apple Bloom were crumpled and unmoving against the wall as Fluttershy shrieked and tumbled out of her chair to crawl over to where they lay; Scootaloo had jumped back out of her chair and was staring wide-eyed at her friends; Sweetie Belle, seemingly still unaware of what had just happened, had her head buried beneath her hands and was sobbing into what was left of the tablecloth; and Pinkie sat unmoving in her chair, both hands up to her mouth in shock.

“Doug? Jesus! Doug!” John called out. His words seemed to get Scootaloo moving, because she turned at the sound of his voice.

“John!” she screamed and flew over to where he was. She pleaded for him to do something, but I couldn’t make it out as I turned my attention back to the two wounded children. I was by their side within seconds.

Fluttershy sat back and gave me some room to work. Whether it was because she remembered that I had first aid training or merely out of instinct, I do not know. Tears filled her eyes as she ran her hand through Angel’s hair as if to soothe him. When she looked up at me her eyes told me her unspoken plea.

Please help them.

“Doug! We need a med kit!” John yelled from behind me.

I quickly took my car keys from my front pocket and tossed them to him.

“There’s one in the b... the trunk of the car. With the camping gear!” I replied and turned back to the two on the floor.

Apple Bloom had clearly taken the brunt of the blast. Her yellow shirt had several large, blackened holes burned into it where raw and blistered skin could be seen. Shattered glass from the dishes had cut her face, neck, chest and arms. Blood was pouring freely from a particularly nasty gash on her head just at the hairline. Several smaller pieces of glass were embedded in her skin as well. Her breathing was shallow and strained, but at least she was breathing. The most alarming thing was the blood that trickled from her mouth and down her chin. If she had suffered any internal injuries, she was beyond my ability to help.

Although Angel had taken less of the blast, he didn’t look to be in much better condition than Apple Bloom was. Blood streaked his arms and face from dozens of cuts, and while he had far fewer burns than Apple Bloom did, there was one major problem.

Angel wasn’t breathing.

Apple Bloom looked to be in worse shape, but at least she was breathing for the time being. I let her be and focused on Angel, moving into position before beginning thirty quick compressions on his chest. It was a risk, seeing as performing CPR could damage the former bunny even further if he had suffered broken ribs, but the logic was that he would die anyway if he wasn’t breathing.

When the compressions didn’t do the job, I looked up and noticed that Fluttershy was still watching, wide-eyed, as I tried to help Angel. It was the kind of traumatic experience that she didn’t need just then, so I asked her to look after Sweetie, who was likely going to need a lot of support after inadvertently harming her friends in such a way. Fluttershy nodded and left. That took care of Fluttershy and Sweetie, but that still left Pinkie and Scootaloo looking on in disbelief.

Hurry up, John! I thought helplessly.

With time running out, and no choice but to carry on and worry about the others later, I placed my hand under Angel’s head and tilted it back gently, opening his airway. Then, after pinching his nose shut, I placed my mouth over his and breathed air into his body, being mindful that my lungs would be much larger than his.

To my relief, Angel immediately began to gag and cough. I rolled him into the recovery position, but discovered another problem when a low, anguished groan escaped his mouth.

His right arm had become dislocated.

My eyes drifted over to where Apple Bloom lay unmoving. Her breathing was still shallow and her face was drained of color. She was losing a fair amount of blood from the gash on her head. It was the blood trickling from her mouth, however, that was now the biggest concern that we had.

I left Angel’s side and rushed over to Apple Bloom. Just moments before, she had been holding Sweetie’s hand, trying to help her friend through a difficult situation. A sweet innocent child, frustrated by her inability to do anything more than to just be there for her friends. Now she was hurt and possibly dying. She didn't deserve this.

John returned just as I was gently brushing Apple Blooms hair back away from the gash so I could get a better look. He flopped down next to me and set the first aid kit down before taking a few ragged breaths and looking at me.

“Med kit,” he breathed. I was reminded that he wasn’t long removed from being in the hospital himself.

I grunted my thanks and opened the kit. It had all of the standard supplies: gauze bandages, medical tape, aloe vera gel. It also had a few additions I had put in there, and I reached for one of them: a sewing needle.

I had never had to actually use it, but it had been put into the first aid kit just in case my wife or I got injured somehow while in the Outback. Medical attention could be over an hour away depending on where you were at any given time, and it was good to be prepared.

Once the needle was threaded, I bent back down to the task at hand. The wound was jagged and bleeding freely, and I had no training in stitching a wound or even general sewing for that matter. I hesitated and wiped my brow with the back of my hand, then tried again.

“I can’t,” I muttered quietly. “I don’t know how.” Trying to sew clothing was one thing, but trying to force yourself to sew the flesh of a little girl back together was an entirely different matter.

I looked around the room, my nerves getting the better of me and making me feel briefly confused. Pinkie and Scootaloo were still watching, expecting me to help make everything alright, and John was now watching as well. Fluttershy was still bent near Sweetie trying to soothe her.

“I need Fluttershy,” I told John. He had been coughing and trying to catch his breath since he had arrived back at our room, but I couldn’t leave Apple Bloom’s side.

“What?” John asked, apparently caught off-guard.

“Get Fluttershy. She can sew... she can do this,” I replied. John complied and got up to fetch her, which left me alone with Apple Bloom again. I bent near to her and whispered, “You’re going to get through this. You and Angel both, I promise.”

My eyes wandered back to the corner of her mouth and the blood that was there. I had held off checking long enough, and decided to have a look before Fluttershy arrived. Taking a deep, unsteady breath, I opened Apple Bloom’s mouth and looked inside. More blood dripped out, but the sight of the cut I spotted on her tongue, where she had likely bitten it upon impact with the wall, helped relieve an enormous amount of worry that I’d built up. The blood wasn’t from internal injuries.

Fluttershy arrived at my side then and looked at me expectantly. What I was going to ask of her would ordinarily be unthinkable, but it was the most logical thing to do. I held up the needle and gestured toward Apple Bloom.

“I need you to help her,” I explained. I indicated the gash on Apple Bloom’s head. “She’s losing blood fast and I’m no good with needles. Can you do it?”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened with fear as my request sank in. They then darted around the room as if in search of some other answer.

“I... b-but I...” she stammered.

I reached out and took a hold of her hand to try to calm her down.

“I believe in you,” I whispered. In the background, Sweetie and Scootaloo were shouting about something. I paid it no heed. “Just as you believe in me.” Her aqua eyes gazed up into mine and I could see her determination growing. I placed the needle in her hand and gave her a half-smile. “It’s just like my tent,” I added.

Fluttershy gave a deep sigh and nodded. A moment later, I had wiped the blood from Apple Bloom’s head and Fluttershy was bent over and going to work. Despite her earlier concerns, her hands were steady and moved rapidly. She had to stop occasionally so I could wipe blood away, but it wasn’t long before the wound was closed.

When Fluttershy had finished, she handed the needle to me and gave another small nod. I set the needle aside and assessed the situation. Angel was semi-conscious and breathing, but in a lot of pain if the moans coming from him were any indication. As sadistic as it sounded, as long as he was groaning in pain I knew he would be alright. Apple Bloom was still unconscious, but her forehead gash was stitched neatly and there were no longer any fears of internal injuries, at least none that would cause her to throw up blood. The next problem was the burns both she and Angel had suffered. Although some of the burns were horrifying to look at, none of them seemed to be as severe as I had first feared. They would need cool water run over them for thirty minutes, and that meant getting them into a shower or bathtub.

I sighed and turned to Fluttershy. “We need to deal with the burns. Do you know what to do?”

Fluttershy nodded.

“Can you take care of Apple Bloom?” I asked. She nodded again. “She’ll need to be supported in the shower since she’s unconscious. I can take care of Angel. He’s conscious, so he should be okay in the spa bath.”

I looked back over to where John and Sweetie had been joined by Pinkie and Scootaloo. John was in no shape to carry anyone, and Pinkie...

Keep Pinkie happy, the man known as F.A. had warned. A piss-poor job I was doing of it.

“John,” I said as I bent down to scoop Angel up into my arms. The former bunny grimaced and moaned in pain and I remembered I would need to pop his arm back into place. When John looked up, I continued. “These burns need to be dealt with and it’s going to be a while.” I gestured to Pinkie, Sweetie, and Scootaloo in turn. “I think you all could use a break. Maybe get some rest and fresh air. The beach isn’t too far from here. Might be relaxing.”

“No way,” Scootaloo replied, shaking her head and pointing at me. “I’m not going until Apple Bloom is okay.”

“Fine, you can help,” I said quickly. “The others need a break though.”

“Doug...” John contended, looking around the hotel room. “I think we need to go to a hospital.”

Suddenly, Fluttershy stood up and walked over to where the others were. She placed one hand on Pinkie’s shoulder and another on Sweetie’s back.

“John,” she said quietly, “can you please take my friends away from all of this? Just for a little while.” She looked down at Sweetie, who was still sobbing into the tablecloth remnants. “I- I know you’re worried. We all are. But more than two of us have been hurt today...”

John looked as if he had been cornered. “If... if that will help,” he replied.

Fluttershy gave John a sweet smile and returned to my side, her mission accomplished. I told John we’d need about half an hour, then took Angel into the bathroom and began running the bathwater while Fluttershy made arrangements for Apple Bloom.

Angel had been very lucky, all things considered. Apart from having the wind knocked out of him and suffering a dislocation of his right shoulder, most of his injuries were superficial. Many of his burns were simply red marks on his body that, while painful, would heal without much more attention over time. He had suffered no serious cuts, and only had to have a few small shards of glass removed from his skin.

By the time I had finished with his burns, he was awake and fully aware of his surroundings. He would need rest, and be in a fair amount of pain for a day or two, but he would otherwise be fine.

I had avoided assisting with Apple Bloom as much as possible while her burns were being treated. When I was needed, I kept my eyes averted and fixed them firmly onto the bathroom floor. Fluttershy proved to be very capable, however, and only really needed me to take away glass that she had removed from the former filly’s skin.

Apple Bloom’s burns were worse than Angel’s, but they still weren’t nearly as serious as I had feared. She had also suffered a far larger number of cuts, a few of which were fairly deep. Her head wound seemed to be doing fine thanks to Fluttershy’s stitching, which was a plus. Additionally, she didn’t seem to have suffered any other serious injuries. She was still unconscious when we finished treating the burns, however, and may have suffered a concussion. We would need to keep an eye on her until she woke up.

Once the delicate process of getting them both dressed again was finished, I lifted Apple Bloom carefully into my arms and Angel took Fluttershy’s hand and followed me unsteadily as I carried Apple Bloom into the double bedroom and set her gently onto one of the beds. Once Angel gradually made his way into the other bed with some help from Fluttershy, I breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the corner of Apple Bloom’s bed.

“Where did you learn how to do all that stuff?” a young voice asked, startling me. In my rush to tend to Angel and Apple Bloom, I had completely forgotten that Scootaloo had stayed behind. She came into the room and hopped up onto the bed beside me, her little feet not even reaching the floor, then fixed me with her lilac colored eyes. “Are you like a doctor?”

I smiled fully for the first time in... how long had it been? Too long.

“No,” I admitted. “I’m definitely not a doctor.” I shifted on the bed to look out the window at the moonlit night. “I decided a few years ago that knowing how to help people was a bit more valuable than knowing how to hurt people, so I went out and learned how.” I turned back to Scootaloo. “I still can’t help anyone who has been hurt too badly, but I at least know enough to give them some comfort.”

Scootaloo furrowed her brow in thought. Behind her, I could see Fluttershy cooing Angel to sleep. After a moment, Scootaloo looked up at me.

“So... Apple Bloom isn’t hurt too badly then?” she asked. “Because otherwise... “

I smiled again. “I would have been no help at all, correct.” She smiled in return, proud to have figured it out so quickly. After a moment of hesitation, I slowly held a hand out to her. She gave an inquisitive look up at me, then placed her little hand in mine. I leaned in close.

“I would not lie to you though, Scootaloo,” I warned in a serious tone. “Apple Bloom isn’t in the clear just yet. I need to keep an eye on her tonight to make sure nothing else goes wrong.”

“We,” Scootaloo stated.

“Hm?”

Scootaloo hopped off of the bed and faced me. “We need to keep an eye on her,” she explained, making it clear that she wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer. “And Angel, too.”

“Alright, mate,” I conceded. “You can help watch over them.”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow and took a step back, her cheeks reddening. “Err...” It took a moment to figure out what I’d said wrong.

“Friend,” I corrected myself, my own cheeks burning. “Here in Australia, the word ‘mate’ means ‘friend.’”

“Ohhh, right,” she said, nodding. She remained where she was standing though, and I let it be. Awkwardness with Scootaloo was the least of my concerns. Eventually, she drifted back over to the bed and looked down at Apple Bloom, where she quietly remained for some time.

I lost track of time at some point and briefly drifted off to sleep. When I finally realized what had happened and looked up, I saw that Scootaloo had curled up against the wall and fallen asleep. Looking around, I saw that Fluttershy had left the room and Angel was sleeping peacefully. Apple Bloom’s condition remained unchanged.

I placed her hand in mine and continued to watch over her. She was about the same age my daughter would have been...

No more children were going to die in my care. I was determined to make certain of that.

My eyes opened and looked at the clock on the nearby table. It said it was two in the morning.

Scootaloo was no longer in the room, but Fluttershy had returned and was gently stroking Apple Bloom’s hair and humming some kind of Equestrian lullaby, if my guess was correct.

“How is she?” I asked quietly, so as not to wake Angel.

Fluttershy looked my way. “She’s breathing easier,” she said. She brushed a stray strand of hair from the former filly’s face. “I think her color is returning, too.”

I allowed myself some hope. There had been so much disappointment in our lives lately, but I allowed myself to hope for the best. I couldn’t help it.

A few minutes passed. Or perhaps ten, twenty. Fluttershy was humming her tune again. I closed my eyes.

“I think it’s sweet of you,” I murmured sleepily. “Humming that for her...”

The last thing I heard before falling asleep again was “... It’s for you.”

I awoke again at three forty-three in the morning. I thought I saw John. Perhaps it was Pinkie; it was too dark to make out a proper silhouette. I struggled to remain awake, but it was no use. All I remember is that I still held Apple Bloom’s hand in my own as I drifted off again.

The next time I awoke, it was just after five-thirty. I might have stayed asleep if not for the gentle pressure I felt on my hand.

I opened my eyes and and looked down at my hand, still holding Apple Bloom’s. I was still looking at my hand when her fingers wrapped around my thumb and gave another small squeeze.

My eyes widened and moved to her face. She returned my gaze and offered me a weak smile.

In the next moment, I had scooped her up gently into my arms and held her close. Tears ran freely down my face and into my beard as she returned the hug. When we parted, she looked up into my eyes with a look of concern.

“How’s Sweetie?” she asked.

Bonus Mini Chapter: Desperation

Bonus Mini Chapter: Desperation
Night Time - April 25th, 2012

It was pitch dark in room 204 at the Ocean Side Motel, and for the first time that night, everyone else was finally asleep.

Pinkie waited for another ten minutes just to be sure. Beside her in bed were both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, the latter having been carried into the bedroom and placed gently into bed by Fluttershy. Both girls were the type to move often in their sleep, and it would do no good to wake either of them up.

Once she was satisfied that the girls truly were asleep, Pinkie crept out from under the covers and gently hopped out of bed. She didn't leave the bedroom immediately, however. Instead, she stood at the bedside and watched the girls sleep for a few moments with a sad smile. She couldn't help but to bend down and gently kiss each of their foreheads.

A surge of guilt washed over her and she hesitated. The girls weren't going to understand, were they?

Pinkie very nearly climbed back into bed then and there, but a part of her felt that the very fact that she felt this way was justification enough for everything. She was supposed to represent laughter, but when was the last time anyone had laughed around her? There truly was nothing to laugh about anymore.

Swallowing hard, she took a few shaky steps towards the door, then a few more. When she finally made it to the door, she turned around one more time to look at the sleeping figures behind her. Then she quietly opened the door and made her way into the hallway.

She couldn't leave without visiting the other bedroom first, however. With an almost supernatural level of quiet and stealth, she opened the door to the double bedroom and stepped inside. Immediately on the floor to the left of her was the slumped form of John, who had fallen asleep next to Angel's bed. On the other bed was Apple Bloom, and she took a moment to wonder if the poor filly would make it through the night. She was a member of the Apple family though, and they were all tough as nails.

One of Apple Bloom's hands was clasped in one of Doug's hands as he slept on a chair next to her bed. Captain Man-Bear. The big guy with the soft heart. He introduced her to Coke and she would always be grateful for his efforts in getting them home.

It was all well and good, but Pinkie knew the truth.

Portals to another dimension weren't something that could just be summoned. If that were the case, the princesses would probably have some back at the palace. There would be some kind of magical portal book for Twilight to stick her nose in. There would be artifacts and lore from other dimensions somewhere in Equestria.

No, portals weren't that easy to come by. And there was a very good reason for that.

It required both the magic of harmony and the magic of chaos combined to make one. That's why she and her friends had ended up here on Earth. Because Discord's magic had mixed with Princess Luna's.

In other words, the only way they had any hope of ever getting home was if they worked together with Discord.

Pinkie gently sighed and left the bedroom. In the lounge, Fluttershy slept peacefully upon the couch. She wanted to hop over and hug the former pegasus. She wanted Fluttershy to jump up suddenly and tell her everything was going to be okay.

But that was her job. She was the one who was supposed to keep everypony happy, and she had failed.
With one last look at Fluttershy, Pinkie hung her head and walked out the front door.

It was windy on the beach, and Pinkie had to wrap her arms around herself to keep warm. The strong winds brought impressive waves up to crash along the shore, causing cold water to rush over Pinkie's bare feet.

She looked up at the clear night sky and to the stars and moon that dominated it. It was beautiful, she thought. The sight made her even sadder, and she looked back out to the ocean.

If I were to let you, would you sweep me away? she thought. She closed her eyes and tears ran down her cheeks to fall to the sand. She was a coward. Not only was she incapable of making her friends laugh, but...

As she took a step towards the water, a set of arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a familiar voice spoke.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Fluttershy whispered. "Earth, I mean."

Pinkie's knees buckled and she fell to the sand, taking Fluttershy with her. She wept openly as her friend pulled her close in an embrace.

"It hasn't been easy, has it?" Fluttershy cooed. She took Pinkie's hands into hers and waited until Pinkie met her gaze to continue. "We don't belong here, I know that. And... and it seems like this whole world is against us sometimes. Like the planet itself wants nothing more than for us to fail." She gave Pinkie a small smile. "But even so, I'm glad."

Pinkie wiped the tears from her eyes. "Why, Fluttershy? Why would you be glad for any of this?"

Fluttershy smiled as tears of her own began to fall. "Because..." her voice broke and she, too, began to weep. "Because I have you here with me! Because I don't know what I would have done without you. B-because I can't imagine not having you around to help me smile!"

A lump formed in Pinkie's throat. She wanted to curl up and hide within herself. "Fluttershy..."

"Let me help you, Pinkie," Fluttershy pleaded. "It's hard, Pinkie, I know. Oh, Celestia, I know. But I'm here for you and I always will be for as long as you let me. Please just come back with me! I don't want to go back alone!"

Pinkie closed her eyes again, but this time tears of joy began to mix in with those of guilt and ran down her face. She didn't have to crack jokes or act silly to get her friends to smile. In the difficult times, when all seemed lost and nothing went right, all she had to do to keep her friends smiling was to be there.

She opened her eyes and smiled, a wide and genuine smile, at Fluttershy. "Let's go back then. Together."

Further down the beach, hidden in the shadows of nearby bushes, the man known as F.A. cracked a smile of his own as he watched the two former ponies walk back up the beach toward the motel.

How many times had he watched Pinkie Pie die? How many years had it taken to finally achieve this result?

Too many, he thought.

With his business seemingly concluded, the man turned away and walked the opposite direction down the beach. After about fifty meters, he vanished into thin air.

Moonrise

Moonrise
April 26, 2012

When morning arrived it became evident that we were in for a long, dismal day. Angel was still in a fair amount of pain, and seemed listless as he followed Fluttershy around the hotel room. John, like myself, had clearly not gotten enough sleep. His eyes were dark and dull, and he yawned almost continuously as he helped to pack away what little gear we had. Pinkie looked lost and confused upon waking, as if she had woken from one bad dream just to have to live through another. And despite Apple Bloom finally getting across to Sweetie Bell that she didn’t blame her for what happened, the former unicorn filly still wore a look of guilt and shame wherever she went.

As if fate wanted to kick us while we were down, it decided to piss down rain just as it was nearing time for us to leave the hotel. Our first day back in the Outback was shaping up to be rather unpleasant.

“Everything’s just about ready,” Fluttershy said as she came over to stand beside me. She had spent a good portion of the morning helping me to clean up the mess that had been left over from dinner. She was fresh out of the shower, if her damp hair and clean clothes were any indication. It was a reminder that staying clean was going to be a hassle once we were in the wilderness again.

“Thank you,” I returned. We stood and watched the rain together for a while. It felt nice to take a second and appreciate a quiet moment or two. Although the weather was miserable, there was still a subtle kind of beauty to it that was easy to miss if you didn’t take the time to notice.

After some time, Fluttershy moved closer to me and spoke softly so the others couldn’t hear.

“Do you think... maybe this world is rejecting us?” she asked.

I frowned, not understanding her reasoning. “What do you mean?”

She placed her hands on the window and looked out at the rain again. “It’s just that... well, not many things have gone well for us, have they?” she asked. She then turned back to face me. “It’s as if something, or someone, is working against us every step of the way.”

“I suppose maybe Discord’s playing games with us,” I responded. “We do seem to be having unnaturally bad luck.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I don’t think Discord has anything to do with this. I’m pretty sure he’s not the type to drive somepony to...” she stopped and changed course suddenly. “What I mean is, I don’t think he’s this... cruel.”

I raised an eyebrow. “So taking over a village as your own personal play area and destroying most of it in the process isn’t cruel?”

“Well, yes. I suppose it is,” she admitted. “But there are things that are worse than all that. Things I don’t think even Discord is capable of doing.”

I was just about to ask her what she meant when Scootaloo appeared and told us that everything was packed away in the car and that everyone was ready to leave.

As we made our way to the motel office to hand in the keys, my thoughts were still on what Fluttershy had said. If Discord wasn’t behind our unusually bad luck, then what was?

It felt like it was entirely too soon to be squeezed back into my little Holden Barina again, and it was made worse by the fact that nearly half of us were injured.

The seating arrangements were the same as the last time we had all been in the car, but for different reasons than just convenience. Angel and Apple Bloom were still feeling the effects of Sweetie’s magic, so both of them still needed to be tended to by adults.

That didn’t mean it was any more comfortable for anyone, though.

There weren’t any complaints about it this time, however, despite the fact that none of us looked happy to be back in the car. The only complaint came from Pinkie about ten minutes after we had been on the road.

“Hey Captain, you know what might turn some of these frowns upside down?” she asked from her spot in the backseat.

There were plenty of things I could think of. I decided to name off a few for the hell of it.

“Less rain, fewer disasters, a nice roof over our heads, more money, and finding the rest of your friends?” I guessed. I’d take any or all of those. “Maybe Discord trying something new for once and actually being nice?”

“Dude!” John chided from his seat beside me. I guess he thought I was being rude.

Pinkie wasn’t fazed though. She thought about my answers for a second, then smiled. “Yeah, all of those things would be totally great!” she exclaimed, then sang the next sentence teasingly, “But it would be even greeeater if we had some fooood!” She almost sounded like she was back to her usual, cheery self, but something seemed off, as if she were forcing it.

“Wish I knew where to eat here or if I’d had time to make something at the motel,” John grunted.

Pinkie perked up at that. “Oooh, you can cook?” she asked John, leaning forward. Apple Bloom grunted softly as she was momentarily squashed against the back of my seat.

“Didn’t I tell you before?” John replied. “The girls seemed to like French toast, but I doubt I’ll be able to make it while camping.”

Pinkie let out a little squeal, but I cut into the conversation before she could get her hopes up.

“We’re not going to reach the site I have in mind for another three hours or so,” I explained. “We might as well stop somewhere to eat along the way.” I stopped and thought for a moment. “It might be best to go through a drive-thru. I’d prefer to keep attention off of us and, well...” I nodded back towards the back seat. “Injured kids are sure to draw plenty of it our way.”

Instead of the expected relief at finally getting food, I was met with various complaints all at once.

“Three hours?”

“I don’t like driver-throughs!”

And so on. John turned around and addressed the Equestrians. “Think of it like an adventure. There’s lots of places here that don’t exist back home.” That seemed to settle them down.

Saved by the kid, who would’ve thought? I thought as we drove along, searching for a good place to stop to eat.

McDonald’s. If there was any place an American should appreciate, it’s Macca’s, or Mickey D’s as I used to call it in Detroit. I needed to keep costs down and it was a lot cheaper than Oporto, the only other drive-thru that was nearby.

I pulled up next to the speaker and rolled down my window.

“Welcome to McDonalds, how may I take your order?” it croaked.

“What doesn’t have meat?” Sweetie asked into the speaker.

Scootaloo immediately followed that with, “What does have meat?”

“So what makes the muffin English?” Pinkie asked to whoever would listen.

“I see pancakes!” Apple Bloom called out gleefully.

Bloody hell, I thought.

“No pancakes!” John yelled, causing the others to finally be quiet. “Trust me, you don’t want pancakes in here.”

“...” The speaker was silent for a moment, but then, “Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?” I could hear the employee giggling with a coworker in the background.

I glared at the others in the car, daring anyone to make another peep. It was time to order food, and I took food seriously.

Once I was certain it would stay quiet, I said, “Sorry about that. We’ll have... uh,” I counted the number of Equestrians who were still vegetarian, “five egg McMuffin meals with no bacon on any of them, all with orange juice to drink.” That took care of Pinkie, Fluttershy, Sweetie, Apple Bloom, and Angel. Who was left?

“Can I have Coke!?” Pinkie blurted from the backseat. She withered under my stare, but I decided to give her a treat.

“Sorry, can I make one of those orange juices a large frozen Coke instead?”

The speaker was quiet for a few seconds before answering. “So that’s five egg McMuffin meals minus bacon, four with OJ and one with a large frozen Coke. Anything else?”

“Yes,” I replied. Now for Scootaloo and her weird taste for meat. “I’ll have another egg McMuffin meal with bacon. Orange juice for that one, too.” That left John and I. “And uh...” I glanced at John to make sure he was okay with what I was ordering for him, “four sausage and egg McMuffin meals, all with large Cokes.”

“Uh... make one of those Cokes a Bananaberry Bash... sounds interesting.”

I rolled my eyes and addressed the speaker. “Did you get that? One of those Cokes is now a Bananaberry Bash instead.” I closed my eyes and prepared to hear our order read back to us. It would certainly be wrong with all the changes we had made.

“So that’s six egg McMuffin meals, all but one without bacon; one with a large frozen Coke and the rest with orange juice; four sausage and egg McMuffin meals, three with large Cokes and one with a Bananaberry Bash. Will that be all for today?”

I admit it, I was impressed.

“Yes. Yes, that is all.” I sighed as I was given the total and told to drive forward to the next window.

Following breakfast was a long, relatively boring drive. I got onto the M4 motorway once we reached Sydney and headed west towards the Blue Mountains. I figured that we were now at a point where we would need to be camped out for a long time, and we’d need to be somewhere where it was virtually guaranteed that we wouldn't be bothered. Seeing as the Blue Mountains National Park was about two thousand five hundred square kilometres of wilderness, and was surrounded by a further ten thousand or so square kilometres of virtually unoccupied space, it was probably the best place to go in order to disappear from sight for a while.

It took about an hour to get out of the more urban areas of Sydney and its surrounding suburbs, but eventually we began to see fewer buildings and homes, and more hills and woodland. The gentle curves in the road, along with the increasingly beautiful scenery around us, helped me to relax a little for the first time in days.

In fact, the overall tension in the car seemed to ease up as the others began to chat about things like movies and stories — things that weren't necessarily important in and of themselves, but were fun to discuss anyway. It was a nice change from the constantly depressing talk over when, or if, we would find the other Equestrians or get them all back home.

It was a difficult balance to maintain. I’d found out the hard way that talking too much about trying to find the others just served to remind the Equestrians that their friends could quite literally be anywhere in the world, and often led to tears or worse. But it was also important not to get too caught up with distractions because the longer we waited to reunite the Equestrians, the more likely something else could go wrong. Sweetie Belle’s magical problems were a prime example of the sort of unexpected complications that could arise at any time.

So I let the others have their random chats while I focused on what our next move was. We knew that Princess Celestia, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash were in the United States. That was a problem, but the bigger problem was that we’d heard nothing about Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, or Princess Luna, and that was assuming that those were the only Equestrians left to be found on Earth. If Angel were here, the possibility of the other pets, or even more ponies, being here was always a real one.

The first thing to do would probably be to send DragonLS another email. The last I’d heard from him was that Rainbow Dash and Applejack had been found, and that had been days ago. It was lucky that I had a car charger for my phone and that I still had service to it. The signal would probably be lost once we were in the Blue Mountains, so once our camp was set up I’d need to find someplace with a signal and use my phone to send the email.

Maybe I could also give her a call, I thought idly with a sigh. I cleared the thought from my head though.

One thing at a time.

I turned off of the Great Western Highway just before we reached the small town of Linden and headed south, where we ended up in a tiny little residential area that was nestled into the woods. Thankfully, it had a dirt road that continued past it and went deeper into the forest. After a long time navigating the bumpy road with my decidedly not off-road car, I decided to pull off the road and settled the car behind some trees. It was as good a place as any.

I turned off the stereo and turned to face the others.

“Well, we’re here,” I said, trying to sound at least somewhat cheerful. “Let’s get the gear out of the... trunk...”

“Storage compartment,” Pinkie corrected.

“Right. Let’s get on with it, then.”

We all stumbled out of the car, our joints and muscles sore from being cramped into it for so long. John stretched his arms out beside me and asked, “So, what’s the plan now?”

I opened the storage compartment and had a look at our surroundings as the others — those who weren’t injured — busied themselves with getting the gear out.

“We’re still too close to civilization out here. We would be fine if we were camping for a day, maybe, but not for as long as we’re probably going to have to. What we’re doing is slightly illegal, mate. So we don’t want to be found.” I motioned to the car. “We’ll leave this here and move further into the woods. Nobody’s going to think much of it if they spot the car, but they’d certainly report us if they found our camp.”

John looked nervous. “Deeper into the woods...” he muttered, looking around at the trees that surrounded us. “You’re a big camper, done this sort of thing before, right?” He leaned closer. “Know how to handle dangerous creatures?”

Deciding to have a little fun, I leered at him and grinned. “Guess we’re going to find out real soon, aren’t we?”

“I’m bored,” Sweetie complained.

After about a forty minute trudge through the woods hauling heavy camping gear, we’d finally found a decent spot and set up. It helped that Pinkie and Fluttershy had been through this before and were able to assist in getting everything organized, but Angel, Apple Bloom, and John were all in no condition to do much of anything other than watch.

It had taken less than an hour for the boredom to set in.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo spoke up. “No offense, but this is kind of lame.”

Unfortunately the spot I chose to set up didn’t have a creek nearby this time, so fishing was out of the question. It was too early in the day for telling scary camp stories, and I was no good with that kind of thing anyway. We couldn’t let the kids play tag or chase each other, since we wanted to make sure nobody heard us and dobbed us in to the authorities. The only toys we had were Pinkie’s collection of pony toys, and the last thing we needed was another reminder that Rarity wasn’t here for Sweetie. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to let Pinkie or the kids anywhere near my hunting bow, and Fluttershy wouldn’t want to use it anyway. It left us with pitifully few options as far as entertainment was concerned.

“Have ya got any horseshoes?” Apple Bloom suggested, stifling a yawn. “I mean, I probably shouldn’t throw anything right now, but... well, it’s just something I usually do when I go camping.”

I was preparing to tell her that I didn’t, but her suggestion gave me an idea. We didn’t have horseshoes, but I was pretty sure I had taken an old NFL-style football with me on my last excursion and never got around to using it. A quick search through our gear proved me to be correct.

“I have this,” I said, smiling.

It wasn't the best form of entertainment for our group, as was evidenced when John’s eyes lit up for a moment, but then he looked down at his cast with a groan. He wouldn't be able to play, nor would the injured Equestrians. At least, that was what I thought until Apple Bloom insisted that she get to play.

“I’m a big pony, I can handle it!” she insisted. I liked her spunk.

Scootaloo was also thrilled to have something to do, but I wasn't expecting Fluttershy of all people to volunteer to play. She probably wouldn't have, but Pinkie had insisted that Fluttershy go and do something fun, and that she would take care of John, Angel, and Sweetie Bell, who had all decided to stay behind.

“Um, I’m not so sure I should be doing this,” Fluttershy said after we had left camp and found a big enough clearing in the woods to allow for throwing the ball. “I really don’t know how to play...”

“It’s easy!” Scootaloo exclaimed, beaming. “I have a hoofball back home. You just catch it in your forehooves when somepony throws or kicks it to you.”

“That’s right,” Apple Bloom agreed. “Applejack and I play catch sometimes when we finish work for the day.”

“Rainbow Dash can catch one with her mouth!” Scootaloo said, her eyes staring off into the distance as if she could see her idol then and there.

I tossed the ball into the air and caught it a few times, then looked at Fluttershy. “Here, have a go!” I called to her and tossed the ball, gently, in her direction.

Fluttershy squeaked and covered her head with her arms, and the ball bounced off her shoulder and landed on the ground. I probably should have expected that.

“Sorry!” I said sheepishly.

After I taught everyone how to throw the ball using hands as opposed to hooves, things went a lot more smoothly. Scootaloo seemed to be a natural all-around athlete, able to run quickly to wherever the ball was going, and catching the ball easily more often than not. She would make a great wide receiver.

Apple Bloom didn’t catch the ball as well as Scootaloo, though that may have been because of her injuries. She did, however, have a powerful arm for such a young kid. Even with her injuries, she was able to put a lot of heat on the ball and managed to sting my hands on a few catches.

Even Fluttershy caught a few balls, though her throws were... uninspiring, at best. Using a double underhanded technique, she still only managed to get the ball to fly about two metres before it hit the ground. None of us minded though, at least we were having some fun.

“So how are you holding up?” I asked Apple Bloom after she dropped one of the passes I sent her way. “You seem to be doing pretty well for someone who went through what you did last night.”

Apple Bloom got a stubborn look on her face and picked up the ball. “I’m a member of the Apple family, so I’ll be just fine.” She tossed the ball to herself and shrugged. “I’m used to bein’ sore, what with working the farm with my brother and sister. Besides, Applejack says that pain is just fear leaving the body.” She then hung her head a little. “I guess it does still hurt a lot...”

“Well duh!” Scootaloo said, rolling her eyes. “You did get hurled into a wall and blasted unconscious by Sweetie Belle’s magic.” When she noticed the look on Apple Bloom’s face, she looked down at the ground uncomfortably. “Er, sorry...”

“It’s okay,” Apple Bloom mumbled. “That is what happened, after all.” She fired the ball at Scootaloo, who caught it easily.

“We were all pretty worried about you,” I revealed, coming over to stand next to Apple Bloom. “The important thing is that you’re okay.”

“Mostly okay,” Apple Bloom corrected. She rolled her right shoulder and winced. “Maybe I do need a little more rest.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” I agreed. It was getting late in the afternoon, and it would do no good to aggravate her injuries regardless of how tough she was.

The rest of the day was a blur of boredom occasionally broken up with a bit of fun here and there. With little to do, we had to get creative with finding ways to entertain ourselves until I could get in contact with DragonLS and sort out our next move. It was too dark to go looking for a phone signal by the time we finished dinner, so it would have to wait until the next morning.

Eventually, after we had told a few ghost stories around a campfire that I kept small so as not to attract unwanted attention, it was time to get ready for bed. It was going to be a tight fit with eight of us squeezing into the tent. There were only three rooms not counting the main room with all of our supplies, so that meant having to share.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders all got one room, Pinkie and Fluttershy got another, and John, Angel and I squeezed into the third. It took some time for everyone to get settled, but eventually I was able to turn off the lantern and the tent plunged into darkness.

It was hard to get to sleep. Not only was there very little space to stretch out, but it was also a little intimidating to think that this was just the first of many nights we’d have to spend out in the wilderness. Unfortunately, it was just one of those things we were going to have to get used to.

Time passed, and both John and Angel were able to fall asleep. It was too difficult to tell from where I was laying, but I assumed Pinkie and the girls were asleep, too. Fluttershy had a habit of surprising me with how well she was able to cope without sleep, however, so it came as little surprise when I heard her gasp after a twig snapped outside somewhere nearby.

“W-what was that?” Fluttershy whispered at around the same time John woke up muttering, “Crap. Doug?”

“It’s probably nothing, go back to sleep,” I said. Having camped many times over the years, you get used to hearing random noises at night. It just went with the territory.

“B-but what if someone’s out there?” Fluttershy whispered from the room next to ours.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” I replied. “Nobody in their right mind is going to be out here.”

“Guess we’re not in our right minds then,” John said sarcastically. “At least you can reason with people. Animals generally thrash first, steal your food later.”

I groaned and sat up in my sleeping bag, knowing I’d have to go out there just to shut them up. “Fine, I’ll go take care of the scary twig,” I said. I unzipped the flap to our room and wandered into the main room of the tent. Just for show, I bent down and retrieved my bow and arrows, turning back to John and raising an eyebrow to see if he was satisfied. He gave me a thumbs up.

Just as I was preparing to turn around and exit the tent, I heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps just outside and froze, the hairs on the back of my neck raising. There was definitely something out there.

I held a hand up to John, indicating for him to stay put, then listened near the tent’s exit. I couldn't hear anything else, but the look on John’s face told me that he wasn't going back to sleep until I found out what was snooping around out there. If I was lucky, it would just be a stupid possum. It had sounded rather small, after all.

With a sigh, I opened the tent flap and stuck my head outside.

There didn't seem to be anything out there, but whatever it was couldn't be very far away. I’d have heard its retreating footsteps if it had left the area. I stepped the rest of the way out of the tent and had a look around.

The remains of our campfire had been disturbed. Judging from how much it had been disturbed, it definitely wasn’t a possum. It had to be bigger. A kangaroo? As much as Fluttershy might not like it, a kangaroo would make a good amount of free meals for us to consume. I decided to have a better look around and wandered further into the woods in the direction that our mystery guest probably would have gone.

My instincts proved to be accurate, as I heard something moving in the bushes up ahead. It was hard to see at night, with only the full moon to provide light, but after some careful scrutiny of my surroundings I was able to make out a shadow up ahead. As I had guessed, it was too small to be a man, and too large to be a possum. It was, however, just the right size to be a small kangaroo.

I carefully nocked an arrow into my bow and raised it to eye level. Perhaps Fluttershy wouldn't mind so much after the fish incident. Besides, she didn't have to see me actually shoot the animal, anyway. Nor would she have to eat the meat. She seemed to be able to handle watching others eat meat now, too.

The shadow moved, and I crept slowly forward in its direction, hoping to line myself up for a good shot. Even if I failed to get us some free dinner for the next few days, at least I could scare the animal off so it didn't bother us again.

Finally, just as I got a clear view of the shadow and prepared to release an arrow, it stepped forward into the moonlight.

A child, no more than six or seven years old, stood no more than ten metres in front of me. I could not at first tell if it was a boy or a girl, as the hair had been shaved off.

I didn't have any more time to think about who the child was or why it had been left out in the middle of the woods before a flash of light came from where the child was standing and blinded me momentarily.

The arrow shot out from my bow on reflex, my hands dropping the bow and raising up to my eyes. I felt a surge of panic as I realized I may have just accidentally shot a child with my bow, or perhaps his or her guardian, assuming the light had been from a flashlight behind the child.

When my eyes finally readjusted, my heart skipped a beat. All around me, the trees had transformed into horrible, misshapen creatures with branches shaped like claws and mouths lined with fangs. From somewhere nearby I could hear a low growling, and a sound like bones cracking.

And then, just as suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone.

In their place was a vast void of black emptiness dotted by stars over a pale, rocky landscape. The trees were gone, the campsite was gone, everything was gone, save for a clear view of what looked like Earth, hanging in the sky.

Even as I began to comprehend the impossibility of where I had become trapped, even as a seemingly endless amount of loneliness and despair surged through my mind in an instant, I came to the realization that something else was missing, and I screamed.

There was no oxygen on the moon.

Holiday Bonus Chapter: Halloween

Holiday Bonus Chapter: Halloween
October 31st, 2012

There are many dimensions and, with them, many possibilities. Here we find one such possibility – a dimension in which Doug has failed in his mission to return Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Angel to Equestria. In this reality, the Equestrians have had to come to grips with being unable to return, and have had to adjust to living in a permanent human form. Tonight is their first Halloween together.

..o0o..

“No peeking!” Victoria warned with what she probably hoped was a stern look upon her face. However, with the corners of her mouth turned up slightly and the bright sparkle in her eyes, it was obvious the warning had been made in jest.

I wasn’t one to test her, though.

“Yeah, yeah. As tempting as it may be, I have no interest in walking in on you three getting changed,” I said truthfully with a wave towards the girls.

“Well duh!” Pinkie called out, poking her head into a shopping bag she held in her hands. “You totally kicked him out of the house just for getting pounced on! I mean, I wouldn’t even want to try and imagine what you’d do to him if he actually did do something dishonest.” She removed her head from the bag and looked up thoughtfully. “Besides, he’s already seen us both naked. Isn’t that supposed to be some kind of big deal to humans?”

From behind Pinkie, Fluttershy’s cheeked reddened noticeably as I placed my hand on my forehead.

“Please don’t remind her…” I pleaded.

Victoria gave a sly grin and placed a hand on her hip.

"Oh do tell,” she nearly purred. “I never did get a proper explanation from him about that,” she said, jabbing an accusatory finger at the man on my right.

Moey shifted his feet uncomfortably for a moment, but quickly recovered and turned to face me. A grin appeared on his face as well.

“Oh yes, my friend,” he began. “Please indulge us with very thorough visualizations of all that took place on that occasion. You will perhaps begin with physical descriptions, yes? Remember – be detailed.”

Fluttershy peeked her head out from behind Pinkie Pie. “Um, a-actually it was on more than one occasion.” At the sight of all heads turning to face her, she squeaked and hid behind Pinkie once more.

Victoria crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. “Just couldn’t be satisfied with one look, hm? Had to go back for more?”

I frowned slightly and gestured at Pinkie. “This one wouldn’t stay in her clothes! It’s not my fault.”

“Because they feel funny!” Pinkie protested. “They itch in all the worst places, and…”

Victoria giggled and walked over to give me a quick hug and a peck on my cheek. “It’s so easy to get you worked up,” she said. “It’s fine. At least now I know what you were trying to do.” She turned around and walked back towards the bedroom before turning back to me once more. “But even still… no peeking!”

..o0o..

I never could understand why it takes women so long to get dressed. There was a time not too long ago that I would have been a lot more patient with Pinkie and Fluttershy, but they were now both fully proficient with the use of their human arms, legs, fingers, and so on. Victoria had been human all her life, so she had no excuse. All the same, it only took about an hour for the three girls to exit the bedroom.

Pinkie was the first to emerge. She was wearing some kind of ‘sexy clown’ outfit that Victoria had picked out for her, with a short pink skirt, low-cut top and lots of sparkles. Her face had been painted white with various colourful highlights, including a bit of red on her nose. I noticed that her cutie mark had been painted onto one of her cheeks, and she held a single red balloon.

Fluttershy came next. Her outfit was very simple, but effective. She was wearing a black top with black short shorts – an outfit I’d never have thought I’d see her in, with a pair of wolf ears atop her head and a fuzzy tail hanging from behind her shorts. I guess she was supposed to be some kind of werewolf, but I felt maybe the outfit was more likely the result of my wife just having a little bit of fun. Victoria had been putting Fluttershy into awkward situations ever since she learned that the former pegasus was shy in an effort to get her to loosen up – but some things never change.

Victoria emerged last in a long black dress that clung to her fairly tightly, with her hair coloured black and clipped straight back. I wasn’t quite sure what she was supposed to be until she smiled and revealed pointed teeth. Of course. She wasn’t one to resist dressing as a vampire.

Moey’s reaction was as expected.

“My dearest friend, Dougie,” he said, turning to me with a glint in his eyes. “I could get used to this despicable, ritualistic celebration of evil you Christian-types perform each year if it means getting to see such… wonders.” He grabbed my collar playfully. “Convert me, you heathen! Convert me now!”

“Easy, Moey,” I said, brushing his hands away. “If Angel were here, you’d be gripping your shins in pain by now.”

Moey made a face and crossed his arms. “Oh yes, now where is it that the little monster has run off to? Surely it might be to the middle of a busy highway, yes?” He winced in pain as Victoria walked over and flicked him in the ear.

“The ‘little monster’ is buying our snacks, so if you plan on eating I suggest you treat him nicely,” she scolded. It was all in good fun though, as we knew by now that deep down, Moey actually liked Angel despite him not being a beautiful young lady.

The smiles and laughter were a welcome departure from the hardships that all of us had had to endure just a few months previous. Despite my promise to do everything I could to return the Equestrians to their rightful home, I had failed to get them to the dimensional tear, or portal if you prefer, in time before it had collapsed in on itself.

F.A. had even warned us that sending a true human through the tear could cause it to act unexpectedly – from healing itself to tearing an even larger rift in the fabric of reality. Perhaps it had been Discord’s plan all along. Why else would he have sent Gerald, or DragonLS, through it and into Equestria before hopping through it himself? Discord had escaped and there was nothing anyone, not even F.A., could do about it now.

But it was no use dwelling on the past. Everyone involved in the incident had made a pact to do whatever they could to help the Equestrians adjust to their new permanent home. Unfortunately, there were still plenty of problems to resolve with trying to do just that, so not everyone would be joining our little celebration. Even so, a few familiar faces began to show up as the table was set with food and decorations were hung throughout the apartment.

“Sup, Fluffy,” Garrett said as I answered the first knock at the door. He kicked off his filthy, smelly boots and handed them to me with a smug grin, then shouldered past me to go greet the others. He hadn’t bothered to dress up.

Still an asshole, I thought, slowly shaking my head. Ours was a rocky relationship at best. At least he had done a decent job of taking care of the young lady who stepped inside afterwards.

“Hey there, partner!” Applejack smiled and gave me a quick hug. I wasn’t expecting her to be dressed up either, but there she was, dressed up like a nurse of all things. It had to have been Garrett’s idea. She quickly ran off to hug Pinkie and Fluttershy whilst being ogled by Moey, who himself was wearing a doctor’s outfit.

“Hey, where’s Punkass at?” Garrett yelled as he started rummaging through all the food on the table, getting his dirty hands all over it. “Not that I really give two shits about him, but he’s bringing Rainbow Dash, right?”

“Try looking in the mirror,” I responded, earning a glare from Victoria. I ignored her and said, “No swearing in here, either. You know the rules.”

Garrett slowly sauntered over and looked me up and down. “Pffft,” he sputtered, then turned around and laughed as he walked over to the chaise and sat down, putting his feet up on my coffee table.

“Rainbow’s not comin’,” Applejack revealed as she took a seat next to Garrett. “Cody told us on that there Skype thingamajig that they couldn’t make it. Weren’t you payin’ any attention?”

“Nope!” Garrett replied. He took his feet off the table and leaned forward. “Well shit, what are we still doin’ here for?” He made to stand up, but Applejack pulled him back down.

“Now you just sit on down here and behave yourself,” she reprimanded. “I ain’t seen these here folks in weeks and I reckon that under your little macho act, you miss em’ just as much as I do.”

Victoria walked over and took the last seat on the chaise, placing a hand on Applejack’s shoulder. “If Cody and Rainbow aren’t showing up, then that’s those two plus Matt, Michelle, Twilight, the princesses, and John and the Crusaders who won’t be able to join us.”

“The terrorist is still on the run, eh?” Garrett said. “Don’t surprise me.”

“Oh come on now, Matt ain’t no darn terrorist,” Applejack retorted. “It’s all just a big misunderstandin’ is all.” She gave Garrett a little punch in the shoulder that looked like it hurt a bit more than it should have. “Besides, Cody also told us that Will’s takin’ Rarity over to John’s to see her sister. You really don’t pay attention, do ya?” She sighed. “I wish I could see Apple Bloom, but I reckon that’s just the way things are right now.”

“We’ll get to see them all again, so don’t you worry yourself one little bit!” Pinkie exclaimed from her spot at the table. “I’m sure Twilight or one of the princesses will be more than happy to teleport you, even if they did say that they have to be waaaaay careful not to use magic in front of other humans…”

I strode to the center of the room and raised my hands for quiet.

“Alright, let’s not get too caught up in all of that just now,” I said. I was pleased to see everyone paying attention, even Garrett and Moey. “Tonight should be for celebrating with those of us who can be here,” I picked up a drink from the table and raised it, “and remembering those who can’t be with us right now.”

“Here’s to John,” Victoria began, joining in. “And to Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo…”

“Apple Bloom!” Applejack chipped in.

“To sweet, beautiful Rarity,” Moey said. After getting elbowed in the side by Victoria, he meekly added, “And William.”

“To Cody, Rainbow Dash, Matt, Michelle, and umm…” Pinkie added, trying to remember everyone. “Twilight, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna…”

“To Gerald,” I said, bringing a sudden hush to the room as the others recalled that we would not be meeting the young man who had used the handle DragonLS ever again. I’m not sure how long the silence lingered on, but eventually it was broken by Fluttershy.

“To Ashton,” she mumbled quietly. Everyone turned to face her, some with looks of shock on their faces, but she did not back down. “And to Southern Cross.”

“F.A.” Angel added, raising a cup of juice.

Although it was clear that there were some very mixed emotions about adding the last three names to the list, everyone quietly lifted their glasses regardless.

Once everyone had taken a sip, I set my drink down and clapped my hands together.

“Alright then,” I said. “Shall we get this party under way?”

At that moment, a brilliant flash of light followed by a soft popping noise announced the arrival of a young woman with long, shimmering blue hair down her back in the middle of the room. She wore a long purplish-black dress that glittered like the night sky. She raised her hands in the air excitedly.

“Huzzah!” Princess Luna, now fully grown from the reversal of Discord’s filly spell, exclaimed. “Have We arrived in time to partake in the festivities? For surely there can not be a celebration of the night without the Princess of the Night!” She blinked and lowered her hands as she took in the looks of shock around the room.

I had fallen to the floor, landing hard on my rear and spilling my drink. Applejack was sitting back, wide-eyed, and gripping Garrett’s arm tightly. Fluttershy had squeaked and taken refuge under the table with Angel. Moey had ‘heroically’ grabbed hold of Pinkie and Victoria to ‘protect’ them, Victoria knocking his hand away and poking him hard in the ribs. Pinkie was giggling hysterically with multiple drinks having been spilled on her dress.

Luna lowered her head. “We… er, I have overdone it again, have I not?”

A moment later, we were all laughing.

Behold, a Pale Moon

Behold, a Pale Moon
Midnight - April 27th, 2012

It is difficult to put into words the kind of emotions I felt that night as I stared up at the sky and beheld Earth where the moon should have been. Terror comes close, but it wasn’t actually that frightening. Yes, the idea of having no oxygen and the fact that I might die within a minute were pretty sobering things to think about, but it was more shocking than terrifying.

Perhaps the best word to use is ‘despair.’ It was a mix of dread and absolute loneliness, as if I had not only been abandoned, but completely and utterly forgotten about. It felt as if not only was I gone from the Earth, but all traces of my existence had vanished as well. Any hope of leaving a legacy, even a small one, had ceased to exist.

It took a dozen or more seconds for me to realize that not everything was as it seemed. For one, I had read that being exposed to the vacuum of space would cause your internal organs to expand in a presumably painful way, followed by death within a minute of exposure. As I surveyed the barren, dusty landscape, I came to realize that not only was I not feeling any internal pressure, but I had taken one or two breaths of air since my sudden and unexpected arrival as well.

I knelt down and scooped up a handful of the lunar dust, then watched as it slipped through my fingers, falling as if in slow motion to the ground. It was yet another mystery; the dust seemed to fall at an appropriate rate considering the moon’s lessened gravity, and yet my own body didn’t feel any different than it usually did. Taking a few steps confirmed my theory: I was unaffected by the moon’s lack of gravity and moved the same way I would on Earth. Something was off about all of this, and yet as I took another look at the sheer emptiness that surrounded me, I could not deny that I was most certainly on either the moon, or an incredibly advanced and realistic full-scale replica of the moon.

Luna, I thought. Earth’s moon has a name, from Latin, and it is Luna. It’s strange. Of all the things that I could have thought about, from the worry of being separated from the Equestrians, to the possibility of dying of starvation or worse, it was the names of the moon that came to mind.

It was then that I realized how terribly cold I felt. I was dressed for mid-Autumn weather in Sydney, which meant short sleeves. It also meant my bare arms, now covered in goosebumps, were being exposed to incredibly frigid temperatures.

I wrapped my arms around myself and watched as my breath condensed and became visible. It was yet another mystery as to how any of this was possible. So focused was I on how any of it could be real that I didn’t even realize I had started walking until I began climbing a sloping, rocky hill. Or perhaps it was a vast crater; it was hard to tell from my vantage point.

Upon cresting the hill, the immense feeling of isolation returned in full. The barren landscape was enormous, with nothing but dust, rocks, craters, and hills to be seen in all directions, save for up. Above me the emptiness was even greater. There were no clouds, no blue sky. I couldn't even see the sun. There was just Earth, the stars, and a great blackness that stretched to the horizon.

Maybe I am dead, I thought with a pained sigh. I sat down and stared at the vast emptiness surrounding me.

It was always one disaster after another. If I wasn’t losing everything I owned, not to mention the love of my life, over a misunderstanding, I was fighting with my best friend, trying to console a depressed Pinkie Pie, and being told to stay strong by Fluttershy of all people.

Enough was enough. I was convinced that either I was the victim of some cruel game of Discord’s, or the entire universe was against me. Neither would have surprised me.

I laid down in the lunar dust and stared up at the stars. To Hell with the game. If Discord, or God, or some other cosmic being thought that this was funny, or even if it was all supposed to teach me some grand lesson in life and make me a better person afterwards, they could all go thoroughly bugger themselves. I would never give up in my quest to get the Equestrians back to their rightful home, but I was through with being the universe’s plaything.

So I put my hands behind my head, and I waited.

Time is a difficult thing to measure when it always looks like it’s nighttime. Perhaps an hour passed, or maybe it was only twenty minutes. Regardless of how much of it had passed, after a period of time I heard soft, crunching steps near my head. With so much lunar dust on the ground, I hadn’t heard anything until they were very close by. Even so, I only jumped slightly; I had been expecting someone, or something, to show up eventually. I tilted my head back to have a look at my visitor.

Even with her image upside down, I immediately recognized who was standing over me, and it was nowhere near who I was expecting it to be.

A shimmering, dark multi-hued mane was the first thing to catch my eye. It seemed to glow with its own bioluminescence, and was a wonder to behold. A pair of aquamarine eyes, revealing a sense of regality, but also sadness, stared down at me from a head covered in blue-violet hair. A long, violet horn protruded from the middle of the creature’s forehead, and a black tiara rested just above it.

My eyes widened and, oddly enough, for the first time since arriving on the moon I found it hard to breath. I had been prepared for Discord. I had even been prepared, or as prepared as I could be, for aliens of some sort. What I hadn’t been prepared for was Princess Luna.

She wasn’t in a human form, either. This was Princess Luna in all her alicorn glory, from the glowing mane to the wings, the hooves, and everything else that came with being a pony. With nothing to prepare me for such a meeting, I did the only thing that I could think of.

I got up and kneeled before her.

The Princess of the Night eyed me cooly, a slight frown showing on her face. When she spoke, her words were quiet, but forceful.

“Who are you?” she demanded. Her wings had spread slightly in what I assumed was an aggressive manner. She continued, “How have you come to be here?”

I kept my eyes diverted from her face in what I hoped was the proper protocol in speaking with royalty. Even if I wasn’t technically one of her subjects, I still felt as if I were trespassing on her territory somehow.

“I-I don’t know,” I admitted hastily.

“You do not know what?” the princess berated. “Who you are or how you came to be here? For I asked you two questions and you have supplied me with but one answer.”

Despite the chill air, sweat ran down my forehead and onto my nose. I had seen Princess Luna on the show plenty of times. She even had one of my favorite character designs, but to be kneeling before her with her anger directed squarely on me, it was difficult to keep my composure. She seemed to radiate an aura of pure charismatic energy, and I understood then why the ponies on Nightmare Night had trembled in her presence. This wasn’t just some pretty princess from a girl’s show. This was a living example of real power.

“My name is Doug,” I breathed, trying to get things back under control. “I don’t know how I came to be here. I was just lying down and...”

“Silence!” Luna demanded. I obliged immediately.

The princess took a step closer and narrowed her eyes. It was only then that I realized her horn had been lit with magical energy the entire time.

“First you offer one answer for two questions, and then you offer three.” Luna stamped the ground with a hoof. “Two of which are completely useless to me! You have provided me with your name, but tell me what use is your name if I do not even know what kind of creature you are? Be you magical? Have you a homeland? There is far more to who you are than what you have provided me. Or perhaps that really is all there is to you – a name.” She snorted in annoyance. “You then tell me that you do not know how you came to be here, which does not tell me much but at least it is an answer. As for telling me that you were lying down, do you dare mock me? For surely you are aware that I have eyes and could see that you were lying down as I approached you!”

Never in my life would I have imagined that I would be made to look like a complete idiot by a pony princess. It was clear that Luna was both angry and not messing around, so I tried to appease her as best I could.

“My apologies,” I said, bowing again. “I am a human, a non-magical species from the planet Earth and what I believe to be an alternate dimension to your own, and I mean no harm or mockery.” Taking a deep breath, I continued. “I believe I was sent to this place by some kind of magical creature, perhaps Discord…”

“Wait!” the princess ordered. Her eyes softened just a touch as she stepped closer. She was soon standing directly over me. “Why do you bow before me?” she asked. Her voice, like her eyes, had softened a bit.

I stared at the dust by my knees. “Because you are the Princess of the Night,” I answered.

A soft wing moved forward and gently pushed my face up to meet hers.

“How do you know about Discord, and how do you know of me?” she asked.

Her stare was unsettling.

Princess Luna had listened to my story with rapt attention, never interrupting and not speaking even once. Any time I came to a point where something might need a bit more explanation, I simply felt compelled to elaborate rather than being asked to. When I had finished explaining everything as best as I could, she had simply nodded once and nothing more.

She had been staring at me ever since.

Perhaps she thought I was mad. I couldn’t blame her. The roles were reversed now. Here, I was the strange visitor from another world trying to explain how I had ended up where I was. I recalled thinking that Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were both a bit odd in the head when they first tried explaining things to me. Had I stared at them the same way Luna was staring at me?

“Your story is flawed,” the princess said, breaking me from my thoughts.

Great, I thought. She thinks I’m crook in the head.

Luna looked up to the sky. “You stated that you arrived on the moon and saw Earth in the sky above.” She looked back to me. “This is indeed the moon, but that is not Earth. That is my world, and somewhere up there is Equestria.”

I scratched my beard. Of course, it made sense. Why would Luna be on Earth’s moon? But if we were on her moon, then…

No. This couldn’t be some timeline from before when the show began, otherwise Luna would still be transformed into Nightmare Moon. For some reason, she was back on the moon for a second time. Before I could think further on it, she continued.

“You also claim to believe that Discord has sent you here,” she said. “That, however, is impossible. Discord has no power here.”

That got my attention. “Discord is powerless on the moon?” I pondered.

The princess shook her mane in annoyance. “Of course he possesses power on the moon! What difference does location make?” She closed her eyes, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was a child being lectured by an adult whose patience had run out long ago. “He has no power in the Land of Dreams. That,” she said, meeting my eye, “is my domain.”

I stood up quickly. “The Land of Dreams? So this is…”

“I see you are capable of working things out!” Luna interrupted in a mockingly sweet voice. “Once they’ve already been spelled out for you,” she added, pouring salt on the wound.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I’m not stupid, you know. I guess humans just have a way of stating the obvious.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Luna replied, beginning to pace back and forth. “It does not make any sense, I should have absolute control in this realm!” The princess’s eyes had widened in frustration and I felt then that an outburst was coming.

I was correct.

“Trapping me within my own dream!? Who would dare to attempt such a thing!” Luna’s wings had spread in an aggressive manner again, and her horn continued to glow. “Discord could not have done this! He may have hit me with some kind of spell, but it could not have sent me here. Not to this place.” Luna grit her teeth as hot tears rolled down her face. “Was it you, Sister? You could not have forsaken me a second time, could you?”

She sat down, her head hung low. No more than a minute ago, she had seemed powerful and foreboding. Now, she looked powerless and defeated. She gazed back up at her planet with a look of longing and addressed me.

“If what you said about how you can see the lives of my people is true, then you will already be aware that I... am not entirely accustomed to this era’s ways of socialization,” she admitted quietly, turning back to face me again. “You will, perhaps, forgive the manner in which I have treated you?”

“Uh,” I said, caught off-guard by her sudden mood swings. “It’s fine, I guess. I mean, yes, you’re forgiven.” I was certain I was beginning to sound like a fool again. “Don’t worry about it, you’ve been through a lot.”

“Indeed,” she acknowledged. “However, you are just as helpless here as I am, and probably much more so. You say you have found Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy, two of the six representatives of the Elements of Harmony, and the fillies you refer to as the Cutie Mark Crusaders. You also know the location of two more, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, as well as the location of my sister.”

I nodded, hoping another outburst wasn’t coming.

“I believe I may be on Earth as well.”

I frowned, wondering what she was on about. Clearly, she was right in front of me. Thankfully, Luna did not berate my lack of understanding this time, and explained.

“We are currently trapped within a dream. My dream,” she revealed, “and also your own dream. I can not determine how or why we are experiencing the same dream, though such things are known to have happened before. The important thing is that we wake up.”

Somehow, I knew pinching myself wouldn’t solve anything, but I tried anyway.

“A valiant effort,” Luna observed with a smile. “But I believe our sleep has been magically induced, and we will not be permitted to wake up until the spell caster allows us to. Therein lies the problem; unless someone on Earth is able to break the spell, we could very well remain asleep until our bodies shut down permanently.”

I swallowed hard and sat down. The princess took a seat next to me as we gazed up at the stars together.

I needed John, Pinkie, Fluttershy… somebody. One of them had to stop the spell caster. My life depended on it.

Time continued to move ever onward. It was a strange feeling, to know that your life could be in danger, and yet not be able to see what was threatening it or do anything about it. All that could be done was to wait, and so wait we did.

“So… are you worried about the possibility of dying?” I asked Luna as we walked quietly through a lunar canyon. It was a terrible question, but it was on my mind from the moment she had explained our situation.

“Hardly,” the princess replied. “Unlike you, I do not need to eat often. I am afraid the only thing I need to worry about is not having anyone to practice socialization with when you have died.”

Who knew the Princess of the Night had a morbid sense of humor?

“What if your body back on Earth is human, like the others?” I asked. “You’ll need to eat just as much as I do, then.”

Luna looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “Indeed, a point well made. Perhaps a feast is in order, should we both make it out of this,” she mused. “What do humans like to eat? We could have apples, grapes, bananas, breads, grains, and all manner of desserts. I wonder if humans might like cake as much as my sister does?”

“Oh we like all of those,” I said. “Among other things.” I wasn't about to get into details.

We continued walking quietly for some time before Luna spoke again.

“Honestly, I am quite terrified.”

I stopped walking and turned to face her. “Terrified? Of dying?”

She shook her head. “No. It is this place. I am not afraid of dying, nor am I afraid of the moon itself. It is just… here. Being here.” She glanced up at me before looking away again. “I suppose you already know why.”

I did. It could not be easy to be trapped on the moon again after having spent a thousand years there.

“So this is not a dream, then,” I said, beginning to understand. “It’s a nightmare.”

Luna looked back at me and nodded slightly. I could not imagine how she must have felt, nor could I fathom the extraordinary amount of willpower it must have taken for her to keep herself under control. Here was a creature who was not only living within what was probably her worst nightmare, but who was also completely powerless to escape it. I had been shocked and felt despair at finding myself on the moon, but it must have paled in comparison to how she felt.

“I’m so sorry,” I began, but Luna stopped me.

“Say no more of it,” she urged. “I can see in your eyes that you care, and that is enough for me. Now, enough of this nonsense.” She pointed a hoof down the path ahead of us. “We have a lot of nothing to accomplish ahead of us, so let us get on with it.” Despite her joke, I could see that she was still a bit rattled.

“Very well,” I said, picking up on the act. “Let us go forth and accomplish nothing together, then.”

We had taken perhaps two steps when I heard a voice, as if it were both far away and underwater.

I stopped.

“Did you hear that?” I asked, facing Luna.

“No,” she answered. “What did you hear?”

I frowned. “I’m not sure. Maybe it was nothing, but it sounded…”

I heard it again, but louder this time. Was somebody calling my name?

“What is it?” Luna repeated. “Surely you heard something that time, I saw you react to it.” She, too, frowned. “And yet, I hear nothing…”

“Doug!”

It was a voice. A familiar voice, from somewhere nearby. This time, the voice seemed to affect my surroundings. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. What was happening?

I looked up and saw the magical energy around Luna’s horn, which had been glowing the entire time from the moment I had met her, go out.

“I don’t know, I hear a voice calling my name,” I explained. “I’m not sure…”

“Doug!” Fluttershy’s voice called out clearly. “Please wake up. Please!”

My vision began to fade, but not before seeing the look of dread that had appeared on Princess Luna’s face.

“No, not again!” she pleaded. “Don’t leave me here alone again!”

Her image was replaced by a hazy blackness as more sounds became discernable. There was what sounded like weeping, and movement through leaves. Other voices seemed to be quietly discussing something nearby.

“Luna!” I cried as I sat upright. I was immediately enveloped by a warm embrace, and I blinked as Fluttershy’s face came into focus.

“Oh thank goodness it worked!” she breathed as she moved in for another hug. “Are you okay?”

As I began to fully wake up and take in my surroundings, my eyes settled upon the child whom I had seen just before being sent into the Land of Dreams. She was on the ground, sitting up in much the same way I was, and was flanked by a young man and two young women.

The girl set her aquamarine eyes squarely on my own, eyes that I had just been looking into moments before waking up, with a look of knowing.

“Luna?” I asked in confusion.

Bonus Mini Chapter: Isolation

Bonus Mini Chapter: Isolation
April 13, 2012
Day One of the PonyFall Incident

Angel stared at the leafy canopy high above where he lay. Sunlight trickled in where it could, but the majority of it was blocked by the many intertwined leaves and branches high overhead. From somewhere close by, a bird sang an elaborate song which was answered by another bird further off. Its song was like none he had ever heard before. He tried to swivel his ears so he could hear it better. For some reason, his hearing seemed... off.

His ears wouldn't move.

It wasn't like his muscles weren't responding to his commands. It was more like those muscles didn't exist. He lifted his front paws up to feel his ears, but stopped suddenly as they came into view. He stared at the grotesquely disfigured appendages that had once been his paws and, for a moment, allowed himself to panic. His paws, his legs; everything about his body was wrong. Even his sight was off, as he could only see straight ahead. He took a sniff of his surroundings, but it was no use. It was as if his sense of smell had been dulled a hundred times over.

Well, it wasn't the first time Discord had changed his body. The thought helped to calm himself down. He would just need to adapt and survive.

Angel rolled over onto his belly and pushed himself up into a kneeling position, but upon trying to stand up he ended up falling hard back to the ground. He spat out a mouthful of dry leaves and groaned.

His legs, once lean and powerful, were now long, awkward, and weak. He doubted he could even jump using them.

He would have to learn how to use them. Fluttershy was out there, somewhere. He could sense her presence, in a way, but it was very faint. She was a very, very long way away, and he was unable to walk, let alone hop.

Gritting his teeth, Angel dug his new fingers into the dirt and began to drag his body towards the direction he felt Fluttershy was located.

..o0o..

It had been a very long time since Angel Bunny had gone hungry.

It was one of the many advantages of having a pony like Fluttershy to look after your every need. Fluttershy’s cottage was warm and comfortable, he could lie around and relax whenever he felt like it, and he always had nice meals prepared for him.

Angel looked around at his surroundings and grimaced. To think, he had complained about his custom-made meals in the past.

Grass and trees were all around him, but these weren't the green, vibrant plants he was accustomed to in Ponyville. The grass varied in color from yellow to brown; from dying to dead. There would be no point in eating it – none of the nutritional value remained. Ordinarily, he would turn up his nose at the thought of eating plain old grass, but there were few plants that he recognized in the area, and none of those that he did recognize were edible.

He dug his cracked and bleeding fingers into the dirt and dragged himself along the ground. His claws, which would have proven quite useful in his current situation, had been replaced with flat, brittle things at the end of each appendage that seemed to be completely useless, save for scratching an itch. He supposed he should be thankful, as the biting insects of this land had been attacking him relentlessly, and he had to stop every few moments for a quick scratch.

As he slowly dragged himself along, Angel thought back to the last things he could remember before waking up.

He had figured he was in for a bad day when Fluttershy’s cottage turned into a dragon. Thankfully, they had been out for a picnic with the rest of her critters when the transformation had occurred, and it didn't take long for them to both come to the same conclusion: Discord had returned.

After Rainbow Dash arrived to collect Fluttershy, the two pegasi had flown off, leaving Angel to look after the other critters, to join their friends in defeating the annoying draconequus. Unfortunately, the fight didn't go as well as Angel had hoped it would. He could remember a voice calling out that Fluttershy was in trouble, and he had sprung into action, hopping as quickly as he could towards the battle.

He hadn't been too far from Fluttershy and the others when he had been caught in the path of some kind of weird, pink shock wave. It was the last thing he could remember before waking up in this strange new world.

Fluttershy had been caught in the shock wave too. He knew it. He could sense her presence somewhere far, far away. He had to get to her somehow, but first he needed food and water. He swiveled his head around to look for something edible…

And froze.

About a metre in front of him, partially hidden under leaves and a rocky outcrop, was a banded, reddish-brown and white snake. Its thin tail was wriggling gently back and forth, much like a worm.

Angel knew of these types of snakes, which is why he knew he was in a very, very bad situation. It was using its tail as a lure to attract prey, and he had stumbled almost directly on top of it…

A death adder.

Its bite would kill him if the snakes in this land were anything like the ones in and around the Everfree Forest. It had already locked its beady little eyes upon him and, despite his much larger size, was looking at him as if he were still a bunny.

Does it know? he thought idly.

He darted his eyes about, looking for a way out. Seeing nothing to his left, he looked to his right and saw a rather large stick just out of reach. The long appendages that had replaced his paws could grasp things. Perhaps if he moved slowly, he could reach that stick...

At that moment, the snake struck. Angel launched himself backwards, but his new body was slow to move and he barely avoided a lethal bite. He had no time to think about the stick as the snake struck a second time. His newly formed hands moved on instinct, and he somehow manged to smack the reptile to the side and hold its head to the ground.

He might ordinarily have let the snake go, but these weren't ordinary circumstances. Any other time, he'd have just sprinted away. But he was lost, weary, and hungry. He gripped the reptile tightly and bent down, biting hard into the animal. It thrashed about, but he bit harder and ended it as quickly as possible.

Angel gagged on the blood that had filled his mouth and looked down at the lifeless body gripped in his hands. He'd had to bite snakes in the past to warn them or to get away, but he had never killed one. He had never killed anything before, for that matter.

Why had he killed it? It had been an easy choice to make once a decision had to be made; far too easy. Fluttershy would disown him! She would never understand, would she? But perhaps... well, there were plenty of other animals who did such things.

If he had only done it to obtain food, then...

With a moan, Angel fell onto his back and curled his legs under him. He held the lifeless snake like some kind of macabre doll, gripping it tightly and holding it to his chest. There he remained, buried under the weight of his troubled mind, as night fell. And even as he brought a shaking hand up to his mouth and bit into the scaly flesh, one thought forced itself to the front of his mind.

He would find Fluttershy, no matter what he had to do.

..o0o..

Just Call Her

Just Call Her
April 27, 2012

“You should just call her.”

I nearly dropped my phone at the sound of the voice. I’d been so focused on staring at it that I hadn’t heard the gentle disturbance of the leaves as Apple Bloom made her way over and sat down on the rock next to me. She looked up at my face with those bright red-orange eyes of hers, then looked down at my hands.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” I asked, pocketing the phone. “You need your rest if you’re going to recover.”

The cuts on Apple Bloom’s face and arms stood out against her pale skin despite the darkness of the night. It had been less than two days since Sweetie Belle had lost control of her budding magical powers and inadvertently blasted Apple Bloom and Angel with them. Both Equestrians seemed to be recovering quite well, but it would do no good to get too confident too early.

“I tried,” she responded. She put her hands on her knees and looked into the dark forest ahead of us. “But I can’t go right to sleep knowin’ we just found the others. I mean, think about it,” she held up her hands, “Princess Luna and Twilight! I reckon if anypony can help get us back home, it’s those two.” Her eyes focused on her arms for a moment, and her voice grew soft. “Maybe they can help Sweetie, too.”

Finding Princess Luna wandering around the Australian Outback had been surprising enough. To see that she had arrived on Earth in the body of a child, and that she was in the company of none other than Twilight Sparkle…

Well, that still hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

“One thing is certain,” I said, looking down at Apple Bloom. “It seems my theory has all but been confirmed. Twilight said that neither she nor Luna could use magic until tonight, yet the princess bloody well managed to cast a sleep spell on me. Even if it did backfire on her, it’s evidence that magic strengthens or returns to Equestrians whenever they’re reunited with their friends here on Earth.”

“Yeah…” Apple Bloom replied. She spoke quietly, almost to herself. “I know that bein’ around Sweetie just might make her magic go even more haywire–” her eyes shone with resolve, “–but there’s no way I’m gonna leave her all alone! She needs her friends now more than ever.”

The poor girl was in a tough situation. One the one hand, if my theory was correct, then Apple Bloom’s mere presence would be enough to make Sweetie Belle’s magical problems worse. On the other hand, the only real solution would be to completely isolate Sweetie from all of the other Equestrians – something I knew would be traumatizing to everyone involved. With the arrival of both Luna and Twilight Sparkle, there was some hope that one of them might be able to help the former filly out. They would need to do it quickly though, if we were to avoid any further incidents.

Apple Bloom understood all of this, and she was determined to be there for her friend. Even if it meant she would be risking her life again to do so. The Apples were a tough lot indeed.

I sat in silence, unable to think of anything to say. What the Equestrians and I had been through in the previous two weeks had been nothing at all like some of the stories I read involving ponies showing up on Earth. Most of those seemed to assume that things would be relatively easy, like some kind of dream come true. No mention of fights, arguments, injuries, or emotional trauma.

As I thought about those things, I realized that I had been grasping the wedding ring I kept in my pocket.

“You know, I got in big trouble once with my brother and sister,” Apple Bloom said, jolting me from my thoughts. I took my hands out of my pockets and placed them on my knees, then turned to listen.

“I was with the girls, tryin’ to find a way to earn our cutie marks like we always do,” she continued. “We started writin’ stories for the school newspaper, only it kinda got outta control, and we wrote some pretty mean stories about ponies because it seemed like that was all anypony wanted to read.”

I had seen what she was describing in an episode of the show, of course, but I kept quiet and let her continue.

“Well, I was so caught up in the thrill of being good at somethin’ that I ended up helping to write some pretty bad things about my family. When A.J. and Big Mac found out what I’d done, they practically disowned me!” Apple Bloom’s head was hung in shame and her cheeks had grown pink, but she continued. “I don’t blame them one bit, either. It was really hard when I went back to apologize to them. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done, really! Not because sayin’ ‘I’m sorry’ is hard to do, or because of the fact that I was in trouble, but because I knew they were upset with me. Havin’ to face their disappointment was awful because I love them so much. But you know what?” She paused a moment and caught my eye. “That’s what made it worthwhile. There was a part of me that was happy to face their anger, because I love them more than anything.”

With that said, she hopped off the rock and stood up. “I’ll do it again in a heartbeat, if it means there’s a chance I could see them both again.” She leaned forward and gave me a quick hug. “I’m gonna head back to camp. You should just call her,” she repeated, then disappeared before I could even begin to think of a response.

Just call her, I thought. I looked up at the sky and the stars above. It’s really that simple, isn’t it? Just call her.

Only, it wasn’t that simple. What was I supposed to tell her, the truth? Hey, you know that half-naked girl you saw straddling me when you walked into our apartment? It’s okay, she’s actually a pony from another dimension who pounced on me because, get this, that’s just kind of her thing. Nothing to worry about.

No, it wasn’t going to be that simple. Apple Bloom had a point, though. Whatever I had coming would be difficult to hear, but it’s only difficult because I love her so much. That’s what makes it worth the effort. That is why I needed to try.

I reached into my pocket with a shaking hand and, after a moment’s hesitation, grasped the phone. It would be a simple matter to just take it out and make the call. All I needed to do was just do it.

My hand was frozen in place, and refused to budge.

You should just call her.

My knees shook and my breathing quickened as I gathered my resolve. I’d just take the phone out on the count of three. It’s that easy.

One.

Two.

Three!

Just try again. I didn’t do it that time, but I’d get it on the next try. I was certain.

One.

Two.

Three!

My heart sunk. The phone remained in my pocket. I closed my eyes and wiped the tears away. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I do such a simple thing? If I loved her, I would do it. There was nothing stopping me. No physical force. No arcane spell. The only thing holding me back was my own cowardice.

I love you, I thought.

No countdown this time. No special tricks or trying to talk myself into it. I just focused on what was important: my wife.

Instead of imagining her angry glare, or her look of disappointment, I tried to focus on her smile. To my surprise, what finally filled my mind wasn't any of those, but was a vision of her sitting in a dark corner with her knees folded up to her chin, her shoulders heaving as the tears rolled down her face.

It was a memory I knew well: the day our daughter had died.

I wanted to rush over and hold her in my arms; tell her everything would be alright. I was dying inside, and I felt like my entire life had crumbled all around me. A very large part of me wanted to find a corner of my own that I could crawl into and try to hide from the pain. Nothing could fill the void left in my heart when my daughter was taken from me, and I knew life would never be the same again.

But I hadn't crawled into a corner. I had pushed my own heartache aside, if only for a moment, because someone else I dearly loved was in pain. I had gone to her, despite feeling the way I did, and I had stayed up the entire night, rocking her in my arms, caressing her hair, and telling her we would find a way to go on.

Because I love her.

I looked down and saw that the phone was in my hand. There was one bar on the service indicator.

You should just call her.

I wiped the last of my tears away and scrolled down through my contacts until I found her number. I hit the ‘call’ button before I could change my mind.

It rung once, and I realized that my number would come up on her caller ID. Would she even pick up the phone?

It rang a second time.

What was the time, almost two o’clock in the morning? I was mad to call her at this hour, regardless of what had happened.

It rang a third time, then someone answered in a shaky, sleepy voice, “Hello?”

My heart raced against my chest, and a lump found its way into my throat. I couldn’t make my mouth work, and my wife repeated herself.

“Hello? I-is that you, Doug?”

My mind reeled. She was on the phone. She was actually talking. What was I supposed to say? She didn't sound too angry, but that could change at any given moment. How long had it been since I'd properly spoken to her? Saying 'how are you?' seemed ridiculous, but I really wanted to know how she was doing.

I realized that if I didn't say something soon, I risked having her hang up on me. I decided to just go with it.

"Hey," I said quietly. "It's me."

There was a nearly palpable silence. Not even the wildlife all around me made any sounds, or if they did, I was immune to their calls. After what could have been anything from ten seconds to ten minutes, she spoke again.

“Are you safe?” she asked. It was an odd question, coming from someone who had seen what she’d seen. I tried to picture myself in her shoes, but it was no use. I decided to just answer the question.

“Yeah,” I responded. “How… how are you?”

Another moment of silence, then: “Scared. Confused. Unsure of what to think anymore.”

My hand found its way back into my pocket and around the wedding ring. I wasn’t sure what to say. It’s hard to be honest when you know the truth is unbelievable.

“I want to tell you the truth of what’s going on,” I said. “I want to help you understand, but…” I closed my eyes and put my hand to my forehead. Nothing is ever as easy as it should be.

“Why did you hit Moey?” she asked suddenly.

“What?” Of course she would have known about that by then. Moey wasn’t just my friend; he was a friend of the family. How long had it been since I had done that? I couldn’t recall.

“Doug, I called Moey the night you left. I knew he’d be one of the first people you’d turn to.” She’d certainly been right about that. “I… I asked him to try to find out what’s going on. I guess I wanted to know what those two women meant to you. Whether they were more than… than what they seemed to be. He told me you were fiercely protective of them. He tried to lie about what happened to his face, but I know you both better than that.”

My mind reeled. So Moey had known that I would show up at his place even before I had called him. That explained his odder-than-normal behavior and the argument that we’d had. He’d gone out of his way to insult Pinkie and Fluttershy to see what kind of reaction I’d have. He had been willing to fight me, a man much stronger than he is, if it meant preserving my honor. He was never interested in sleeping with the girls, he was only trying to see how far I’d go to protect them. I replayed the events over and over again in my head, and it all made sense.

“After you left him, he looked into what you’d been doing the past few days.” After asking him to forge false papers for three young girls, I couldn’t much blame him. But I’d been too busy trying to sort everything out to worry about that. Victoria continued. “He knew that you were spending a lot of money on things, so he followed you for some time. He heard you call one of the women ‘Pinkie,’ and he looked it up online. Obviously, he found out who she’s supposed to be dressed up as.” She sighed, and I could almost see her shaking her head. “He didn’t know much about the cartoon, so he hired some brony off of an online forum to go meet you at the airport and report back to him. I guess we were… we were looking into whether you’ve developed some kind of mental illness, or if this was just some kind of strange fantasy for you.”

So that’s who that ‘Southern Cross’ guy was who had met John and I at the airport. Again, I should have caught on earlier, but I wasn’t thinking things out the way I usually do.

Victoria went on. “Moey said the man came back and was almost beside himself with excitement. The man said that your two friends and the girls were the ‘most authentic’ he’d ever seen, and Moey had a hard time getting him to calm down. The man kept saying how amazing it’d be if it turned out that they’re the ‘real deal.’ What does that even mean?”

I swallowed hard. Whatever I said here would be the difference between getting back together with Victoria, or possibly losing her forever. There were so many secrets that needed to be kept, and there was so much that could go horribly wrong for not just me, but everyone I had pledged to protect, if the truth got out any more than it already was. Tell the truth, or tell a lie? What would be best for everyone involved?

Taking one more shaky breath, I opened my mouth and began to talk.

A New Direction

A New Direction
April 27, 2012

When morning came, I was already awake. My sleep had been sparse that night, as there was far too much on my mind to allow for a peaceful rest. It had only been a few days since I'd met the Cutie Mark Crusaders and the young man who had discovered them, but since then things had been moving at a brisk pace. There had been the injuries to Angel and Apple Bloom, which they had yet to fully recover from. Then just last night we had stumbled upon none other than Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle, along with the young couple who had found them. And now, some time today, I was due to meet with Moey in an effort to explain myself to my wife.

There was just so much that needed to be sorted out. We still needed to confirm the locations of Rainbow Dash and Applejack—both of whom had been recently located by DragonLS—and somehow organize to get them to meet up with Dragon and Princess Celestia. We needed to ensure that Angel and Apple Bloom had time to recover from their injuries, and we needed to keep an eye on Sweetie Belle's increasingly frequent magical outbursts. The arrival of Princess Luna and Twilight Sparkle might help there, but the princess was stuck in the body of a child—an apparent side-effect of Discord's spell to transform her into a little filly before the Equestrians were transported to Earth, according to Twilight. Of course, then there was Twilight herself, who seemed distant and aloof compared to what I had seen on the show. The couple who had found Twilight and the princess also intrigued me. The young lady named Michelle seemed nice enough, but her fiance, Nathan, seemed distrusting. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing, but all it was at the moment was just another thing to worry about. Then there was Rarity, who we assumed must also be on Earth, but who, as far as we knew, was the only pony who was completely unaccounted for.

We also had to worry about Discord. He hadn't bothered us since disappearing with Ashton, the poor bloke who had somehow made Discord angry enough to transform him into a dingo, but he could likely return at any time. We were counting on Ashton to keep Fluttershy's and Pinkie Pie's identities a secret from Discord, seeing as Equestrians were somehow unrecognizable unless their names were spoken—a side effect of the chaos blast that sent them to Earth in the first place.

I stretched, pulled my blanket aside, and sat up. Nearby, Angel was still curled up in a sleeping bag, fast asleep. John, however, was missing. If the muted voices outside the tent were any indication, he was probably out there getting breakfast ready with some of the others. I wondered if Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her group would be joining us. After the unexpected meeting with Princess Luna last night, I had met those who were travelling with her, including Twilight. Once all was said and done, their tent somehow managed to end up at our camp. I assumed Pinkie Pie was the one responsible for that little miracle, and though Nathan, Michelle, and Twilight decided to sleep in their tent, Luna had been moved into the Crusaders's room in ours.

Once I was outside I saw that John had indeed begun breakfast, along with Fluttershy, Apple Bloom, and Twilight.

"Good morning," I said, taking a seat next to Fluttershy as she watched the food cook over the fire. I recalled how awful the food had been when she tried to make breakfast not long ago, and was relieved to see that she was in charge of dishing up while John did most of the cooking. "Something smells delicious."

"I told ya John's a good cook!" Apple Bloom said. She shoved some rubbish into a plastic bag, keeping herself busy with cleaning up after the food preparation.

"Let's not forget who helped me pick out the ingredients," I replied, earning myself a smile from the former filly. She then let out a huge yawn, reminding me that I wasn't the only one who hadn't had much sleep. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle had been particularly tired last night, and were still asleep in the tent with Princess Luna when I woke up.

Twilight, who had been assisting John with the cooking, came over to sit with Fluttershy and I. She stared at the ground a moment before speaking.

"I want to thank you," she said. She looked me in the eyes then. "For finding my friends, I mean. Pinkie told me how you organized to bring everypony together, and how you've located even more of my friends elsewhere. It must have been difficult, but you've somehow managed to reunite half of us." She looked uncomfortable speaking to me, and I couldn't blame her. I was used to it from former ponies by now.

"I can't really take all the credit. It's just an amazing coincidence that we've managed to find so many so quickly." I thought then about the people I knew of who had located former ponies. "There is one thing that might be a key to all of this, though."

"What's that?" Twilight asked, her interest piqued.

I hesitated, wondering whether or not Nathan had shown her the internet. "Well, there's this... club I belong to for people who write stories—"

"You're an author?" Twilight stared with rapt attention.

"Kind of." I leaned forward and tried to explain. "Everyone I know of who has found one of your friends belongs to this 'club.' Everyone but Nathan, that is. I have yet to ask him about it."

"Everyone but who?" Twilight asked.

"The man who you've been travelling with," Fluttershy chipped in. She leaned over and handed us each a plate.

Twilight seemed confused for a moment, then said, "Oh, right! Nathan." She held her plate out as John served up some eggs. She was silent for a while before continuing. "I know he has medical training, but I'm not sure about writing. If what you're saying is true, we should be careful about jumping to conclusions. We must remember that correlation does not equal causation."

I raised an eyebrow. "What?" I asked as politely as I could.

A sigh. "Just because most of us may have been found by members of this 'club' doesn't automatically prove that there is a connection there. While it would be a sound theory to suggest that perhaps there is a link, it would be unwise to, er, put all your eggs into one basket." She held up her plate of eggs and shrugged. "It's certainly something we can look into, though," she added as if to humor me.

I nodded and dug into my own breakfast. Twilight had a point, and it would do no good to get the other Equestrians' hopes up only to find out that it really was just a coincidence. Hell, Rainbow Dash and Applejack may have been located, but we still didn't know who had found them. Then there was Rarity, who was still unaccounted for. There were no guarantees that any of them had been found by fan fiction writers.

We'd just have to take things one step at a time.

After breakfast I helped clean up, then got started on re-organizing our supplies. Things had become misplaced since we first set up camp, and I wanted everything to be easy to find in case we needed it. There was no telling how long we'd be roughing it, so it was important to stay updated on things such as our food and medical supplies. The first aid kit in particular was fast running out of bandages, and while Nathan had brought his own supplies, it would do no harm to top up our own.

I was in the tent counting how much fruit we had left when Fluttershy entered. She looked up and smiled briefly, then knelt down beside the room the Crusaders shared with Luna in search of something.

"How are the kids doing?" I asked.

Fluttershy stopped rummaging for a moment. "They're okay," she said quietly. I could tell from her tone of voice what she was thinking.

"What happened to them isn't your fault," I said, but Fluttershy just looked away. She had been the one to help free me from Luna's sleep spell that had backfired. What I hadn't known at the time was that Fluttershy had also commanded a large and varied group of animals—everything from snakes to birds to lizards—to help guard our tent while she ventured outside to find out what had happened to me. What she hadn't expected was that the animals would prevent anyone from leaving the tent, as well. One poorly-timed bathroom break for Sweetie Belle later, and she, John, and Angel had all ended up with various bites and scratches, with Angel suffering the brunt of the attack. To have that happen to him so soon after receiving his injuries from Sweetie Belle's errant magical blast... Well, it was no wonder Fluttershy felt awful about the whole situation.

"I understand," she murmured. She went back to her search. "I was just looking for a toy or something for the princess."

I raised an eyebrow. "Princess Luna plays with toys?"

"She does now," Fluttershy said. "She has a toy that her humans gave her, but I wanted to see if there was anything else she could play with. Anything to keep her mind off of... well, you know."

I most certainly did. Being trapped in the princess's nightmare had shaken me up a bit, but what was worse was that the girl seemed to remember everything that had happened within. The princess knew she wasn't meant to be a little filly—or girl, in this case—yet she couldn't help but have childish needs and emotions. I could only imagine what it must feel like to have two separate personalities battling for control of one's mind.

Unable to find anything useful, Fluttershy stood up. "I don't suppose the princess is a hoofball fan," she muttered. Sighing, she turned to leave.

"Hey," I called out before she reached the exit. She stopped and turned to look at me. "Thank you. For helping me out last night."

A small smile appeared on Fluttershy's lips. She nodded, and a moment later she was gone.

The rest of the morning made things abundantly clear that having so many people around didn't make things any easier to deal with. Back when it was just Pinkie, Fluttershy, and I, it wasn't too difficult to address their individual needs. I'd only had two mouths other than my own to feed, two extra bodies to clothe, and so on. Since picking up the Crusaders, however, our group had grown to include a total of twelve individuals. Four humans, eight Equestrians... five of which were children.

I thought about having the true humans—Nathan, Michelle, John, and myself—look after two Equestrians each. It would have taken some of the load off our shoulders if we no longer felt the need to look after every one of the former ponies at every waking moment of the day. I dropped that idea, though. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were capable of looking after themselves for the most part, and I assumed Twilight would be fine as well. It was all the children who needed to be taken care of, what with injuries and emotional outbursts and dual personalities. With seven adults looking after five children, it would lessen our burden even further.

The rest of the adults agreed. Twilight was tasked with helping Sweetie Belle control her magical outbursts, as well as helping the former filly understand that she couldn't be blamed for what she couldn't control. Nathan and Michelle would look after Princess Luna, seeing as they had the most experience with handling her anyway. While they couldn't help her out with her magic, they did seem to have a knack for keeping her occupied and relatively happy. Fluttershy would look after Angel, of course. I could think of no one better to care for the former bunny. John would look after Apple Bloom. She'd also been through a lot lately, and I felt it best to keep the human she was most comfortable around in charge. I would be looking after Scootaloo which, in my opinion, was probably going to be the easiest child to care for. Other than an apparent nightmare or two, I wasn't aware of any injuries or severe emotional scarring that she had to deal with. I could handle her just fine. That left Pinkie Pie to assist anyone who needed it at any given time.

With everyone sorted, I wandered the campsite until I found Scootaloo sitting under a tree. She was picking stones up and idly tossing them into the forest, clearly bored.

"Hey," I said as I drew near. I put my hand on the tree and leaned against it. "Having fun?"

Scootaloo looked up and shrugged. "Yeah, a real blast," she said before sighing and shaking her head. "Sorry. I guess I'm kind of bored."

"I noticed," I grunted. "Want to toss the football around?"

The way Scootaloo's eyes lit up was all the answer I needed. With all the things that had occurred over the past few days, it was easy to forget just how therapeutic a moment of fun could be. Scootaloo tagged along as I retrieved the football, then went about looking for a decent spot to play. We eventually found a spot nearby that was clear enough to run around a bit. I did a few stretches before we began, which Scootaloo mimicked. Soon enough we were ready to play.

I decided to throw the first pass rather gently, but Scootaloo wouldn't have any of it.

"Come on, you can throw it harder than that. I can handle it!" she shouted after easily catching the ball. She tossed it back and made a show of tapping a foot impatiently. So that was how it was going to be, hm?

The next pass sailed right through her hands, and she was forced to go run after it. She didn't seem to mind, though, if the grin on her face was any indication.

"That's more like it!" she said. "Keep throwing them like that." Her next throw had an impressive amount of heat on it. Not as much as Apple Bloom could muster, but still impressive considering that she'd only been in a human body for a few weeks. We took turns trying to force each other into making more difficult catches.

"So how you holding up?" I asked after having to jump for a catch. I hurled the ball back at her.

Scootaloo caught the ball, then considered her answer. "I suppose it could be worse. I mean, no offense. I know you've been helping us out and all but, you know." She looked down at her body. "Still human, still not home. Apparently make-believe," she added quietly.

Alarm bells went off in my mind. It didn't take a bloody rocket scientist to figure out that she must know about the cartoon, but up until that point I'd never thought to ask John how much the Crusaders knew.

"Hey," I said, walking over to her. "You're as real as it gets." She held up a hand before I could reach her, however.

"Yeah, yeah. I know," she said. She tossed the ball to me and gave a small shrug. "I already talked to John about all that stuff. Like I said, it could be worse." She held out her hands and I threw the ball back. "I'm just glad we can still have some fun."

I considered her situation. She was, what, about nine years old or so? The kid's attitude impressed me. I was sure she was probably a little more rattled than she let on, but she was handling it better than I would have imagined. I had a sudden thought.

"Come sit for a minute," I said, walking over and sitting beneath a tree. Scootaloo came over and sat nearby. "I want to be serious a moment. You know that we're going to try our best to get you back home, right?"

Scootaloo nodded. "Of course! John gave his word, and you already found Twilight and Princess Luna, so I know we can count on you." Her smile made my next words more difficult.

I looked her in the eye. "Well... have you given any thought about what you'll do if we—" I sighed, not wanting to continue, but knowing that we owed it to the Equestrians to be honest. "If we fail," I finished quietly.

Scootaloo was silent. I felt awful for bringing up the possibility that she might never get home, but it was an issue that needed to be addressed. The fact of the matter was that we very well could fail. In fact, it was highly likely. Magic-wielding Equestrians aside, we still didn't know how to get them back home. Maybe reuniting them all with Princess Celestia would work. Maybe it wouldn't. It was important to prepare the young ones for that possibility. It would be far worse if they were expecting nothing less than success when they discovered they could never get back home.

I sighed and looked away. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have brought that up, especially when we were just beginning to have some fun." I felt like the world's greatest villain for what I had just said. It wasn't the right time or place for that. I should have just kept playing ball.

"We'd be together, right?"

Her words snapped me out of my self-loathing. I looked back at her as she continued.

"You and John would still be here to teach us how this world works," she said. She smiled despite the few tears running down her face. "So we'd be alright. We'd... be taken care of."

A mixture of pain and pride flooded my emotions. It was about as strong a response as could have been given, and it proved to me just how tough Scootaloo could be when push came to shove. My pride in her grew even more when she tossed the ball back my way.

"Come on," she said, getting up. "We were just beginning to have fun, and you haven't even thrown me any deep balls yet!" She gave a little smile. "And if I do get stuck here, I plan on becoming a totally amazing athlete!"

I stood up and shook my head with wonder. "Alright then, go deep!" She was right, of course. Win or lose, succeed or fail, the important thing was to make the best with what you had. As I threw the ball, I decided that when Moey arrived later that day, I would no longer try to hide what we were doing. I would tell him the entire truth, and make the best with whatever happened from there.

Moving Forward

Moving Forward
April 27, 2012

"You're going to say what?" John paced back and forth with a hand to his forehead for emphasis. He stopped, crossed his arms, and held my gaze. "Forgive me, but aren't you the guy who was just lecturing me the other day about keeping their identity a secret?" He resumed his pacing, nearly tripping on a tree root in the process. "And now you're just going to tell this guy everything!?"

I made to speak, but at that moment Nathan emerged from the woods nearby with a small armful of firewood.

"Tell what to who?" he asked. His tone seemed casual, but as he bent down to collect some more twigs, his posture seemed rigid and tense. He looked up at us, then smiled. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

I really didn't know what to think of Nathan. The only things I knew about him were that he was engaged to Michelle, that he had been the one to find Twilight Sparkle and Princess Luna, and that he possessed solid medical training as evidenced by his work the previous night to help patch up those of us who were injured. That was all well and good, but he had also done an excellent job of ensuring that was all anyone knew about him. He had avoided everyone's attempts at small talk, yet always seemed to make an appearance whenever something important needed to be discussed.

Then again, I had only known him for one night. Perhaps I was overthinking things.

"Nothing important," I replied, ignoring John's look of indignation. I gave Nathan a small smile. "Thanks for the firewood."

Nathan looked at John, then back to me. "Yeah," he said, dropping the firewood. "No problem." He brushed his hands together, crossed his arms, and made no move to leave.

After a few moments of awkward silence I excused myself with the hope that John would be sensible enough to not reveal everything to our newest companion just yet. If he could keep secrets, then so could we. Besides, he would bloody well find out what's happening soon enough. Moey would be arriving in a few hours, and from there... well, anything could happen.

Rather than worry about it, I stayed focused on what I could control. I headed back to my tent, found a comfortable spot to sit down, and brought out my phone. It indicated that there was no service available. Well, so much for checking on emails from DragonLS. I hoped he was having better luck than I was.

With the status of the overseas Equestrians destined to remain a mystery for the moment, I thought about what else I could do. Fluttershy had gone to take care of Angel after breakfast, and Twilight had done the same for Sweetie Belle. With everyone else occupied, I figured I may as well check in on Scootaloo. After our chat earlier in the morning, I thought she seemed capable of handling herself for the most part, but I had agreed to watch over her, and it wouldn't hurt to see what she was up to.

I found her sitting on a tree stump a short distance from the tents watching Twilight and Sweetie Belle, who were discussing something among themselves a bit further on. No doubt they were probably talking about magic, and Scootaloo was sensible enough to stay far enough away as to not interfere or become a distraction. I sat on the ground next to her.

"Bored?"

Scootaloo regarded me out of the corner of her eye and nodded, then resumed her watch on the others. Twilight now had Sweetie pulled into a hug, perhaps consoling the former filly yet again. It wouldn't have surprised me, considering how Sweetie Belle now felt she was responsible for two separate occasions where her friends got hurt. First with her loss of magical control injuring Apple Bloom and Angel, then with needing to use the restroom the previous night which led to the animals that Fluttershy had set to guard to tent to attack her, Angel, and John. It hadn't been an easy few days for her.

The silence reached the level of awkwardness, and I wondered if patting Scootaloo's head would be appropriate, but decided against it. John could probably get away with it. Maybe. She'd only known me for a very short time, though, and most of that time had been spent feeling miserable. Why was I so bad with kids?

I looked at Scootaloo for a moment, then looked away. She was just sitting there quietly, watching her friend. I felt like I should do or say something, but I wasn't sure if she wanted to be bothered just then. Bloody hell. Scootaloo was supposed to be the easy one to care for, so why did I find it so difficult? Especially after we'd bonded so well earlier. Thankfully she saved me from further contemplation by breaking the silence.

"I wish I'd been hurt last night," she mumbled.

Actually, I think I would have preferred the awkward silence.

"What the– why would you say that?" I asked, staring at her.

She sighed and said, "Nevermind." As she pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them, she spoke again. "It's just... everypony else has a reason to be doing something. They're all busy with some important task, or being taken care of by somepony else. And here I am, invisible, and unable to do anything of value."

Well, shit. She had a point, but none of that was her fault. With everyone's attention focused on those who were injured or mentally struggling, it was easy to overlook the only one who seemed to be handling things with relative ease. Scootaloo wasn't injured like Angel, Apple Bloom, or John were. She didn't feel directly responsible for any injuries like Sweetie Belle and Fluttershy did. And she probably wasn't dealing with multiple personalities like Princess Luna was, or depression like Pinkie. Everyone else in the group was busy helping to cope with all of these problems. That left Scootaloo. And me.

I thought out my words carefully before I spoke them.

"I can't think of anyone who has a more important role to play than you right now," I said. That got her attention, and she turned to face me.

"What do you mean?" She asked. "I haven't been doing anything!"

I smiled. "That's just it, though. You don't have to do anything." I pointed to where Sweetie was being comforted by Twilight. "Sweetie over there feels awful about Angel and Apple Bloom. But what do you think she's thinking when she looks at you?" Scootaloo shrugged, so I continued. "She probably thinks 'Well, at least Scootaloo's okay'. And look at Twilight trying to comfort her. Everywhere she looks, her friends are hurt or struggling. But when she looks your way, she sees somebody who's handling things well. That's your role, kid. You're not invisible, you're a shining beacon of hope."

Scootaloo was quiet for a long while, apparently taking it all in. Then she said, "Yeah, that was the sappiest thing I've heard in a long time." I can only imagine the look that was on my face at that moment, but she quickly followed up with, "But yeah, I get it. And anyway, at least you haven't been ignoring me. Sure, I know you're supposed to be taking care of me, but, well... I guess... thanks."

We continued to watch until eventually Twilight managed to get some giggles out of Sweetie Belle. Twilight then looked our way and, upon noticing us, gave a brief smile before turning her attention back to Sweetie.

"So," I asked, absently patting Scootaloo on the head, "am I as sappy as, say, Spike when he visits Rarity?"

"Worse," she replied, looking up at me with a sly grin. "You're old enough to know better."

Morning turned to midday without anything noteworthy happening, and I eventually found myself helping to clean up after lunch with Twilight Sparkle while the others rested or took care of other things. It was the first chance I had to actually spend any time with her other than a quick conversation at breakfast, but I wasn't sure what to say. Fluttershy had told me that Twilight was with Luna and me when Luna's sleep spell had knocked us both out, but since then Twilight had mostly either kept to herself or spent time with Sweetie Belle. I regarded her thoughtfully as I went about my work.

She was shorter than I would have imagined, with the top of her head just shy of reaching my shoulders. Her deep purple hair framed a face that showed signs of stress in addition to the usual thoughtfulness that was to be expected, judging by her show counterpart. She wore a thin lilac jumper and black jeans that seemed a little too large for her, and I imagined she likely hadn't chosen her own wardrobe. Twilight in jeans was just weird to me. I was caught staring when she glanced my way and came over to sit beside me.

"So what's your story?" she asked, pushing a stray strand of hair back over her ear. "I know you've helped a lot of my friends, which I'm very thankful for, but that's really all I know about you. If we're going to be working together, we should probably get a little more acquainted." Her words were followed by a nervous chuckle.

I nodded absently. "Well, I suppose it's no surprise by now that I already know all about you."

Twilight's cheeks reddened. "Yeah, I do seem to be getting that a lot, lately..."

"As for me, where do I begin? I was born in a place called Detroit. It's all the way across the planet in a country called the United States of America, though most people just call it America."

"America? I-I think that's where I ended up when I first came to this world. In a place called Texas."

I was taken aback for a moment. Ever since their arrival I'd been under the impression that Twilight and Princess Luna had appeared in Australia in the first place, and I'd just happened to stumble into them. Neither Nathan or Michelle had mentioned anything about where they had come from, but now that I was thinking about it, I should have recognized their accents. If that was the case, why were they here in Australia all of a sudden?

Twilight waited for me to go on, so I cleared my mind and continued.

"Yeah, Texas is in America. Far to the south from where I grew up. Anyway, life wasn't easy in Detroit. My childhood was spent finding new ways to avoid trouble, but it always found me. In and out of fights. Watching good friends get killed over gang nonsense or from overdoses. My family was poor, but it made me better appreciate what little I had. When I got older I jumped from job to job, but was never able to earn enough to make any kind of difference in my life. So one day I got notice that I was getting evicted from my home. I couldn't pay the rent, you know?" I took a deep breath and looked up. Twilight was staring at me with something like awe one her face.

"Anyway, that was the breaking point. I had no money, no job, and nobody left alive who could help out. So that's when I made the choice to start over. I dragged all my furniture, my clothes, books, and other possessions, all out to the side of the road until the whole apartment was empty. I left everything I had behind, not wanting anything to do with my old life. With nothing but the clothes I was wearing I met up with some guys I knew. They were into the kind of business that took away all my friends, and I figured I would either make enough money to get the hell out of Detroit, or die trying. At least it would be over then, you know?" I sighed and shook my head. "I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, but in the end I managed to get out. I saved up everything I earned and bought a plane ticket to the furthest place I could think of from my old life, and that's how I ended up in Australia. That was many years ago. Since then I've managed to get my life turned around. Until recently, anyway."

Twilight was still staring at me when I looked up again. She looked down and shook her head. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it must have been like having to deal with all of that. It makes me even more thankful I grew up in Canterlot. All we had to deal with was the occasional hydra or dragon attack."

The strange thing was she actually seemed sincere. I briefly wondered if adding dragons to Detroit would be an improvement.

I smiled to try to brighten the mood. "Well, that's my story. And obviously I already know most of yours. That's actually one of the reasons we're all the way out here in the middle of bloody nowhere. A lot of people are already going to know who you and your friends are, so we need to keep you Equestrians safe until we can get you home."

Twilight shrugged. "I guess I don't understand why people knowing about us would be considered dangerous. From what I understand, which is very little mind you, a lot of people seem to like us."

"Right. Well, the problem is most humans–pretty much all of us, really– don't think any of you actually exist. It's complicated, but if I were to, say, tell my wife I'd found some ponies from Equestria who had taken on human form–"

"–She'd think you were crazy," Twilight finished with a small laugh. "Yeah, I can see how that might be a problem." She finished stacking plates and looked up at me. "So that's why everyone's been trying to keep us out of sight?"

"Pretty much. And also because I told my wife I found some ponies from Equestria who had taken on human form."

Twilight's smile vanished. "Ooh. Ouch. Was not expecting you to have actually done that. Soooo, you're married. I take it from the fact that she's not here that she took the news about as well as could be expected?"

"She caught Pinkie straddling me while half-dressed and thinks I've been sleeping with her and Fluttershy."

Twilight dropped the plate she had been cleaning.

"Holy– I mean, wow. You're not actually..." she said, peering at me intently. At my immediate protest she said, "Okay, good. But... wow. Right. Um, good luck with sorting that out, I guess?"

"Actually, I get to find out soon whether or not she'll ever take me back." I explained how Moey was due to arrive soon, and how he was supposed to assess the situation and report his thoughts back to Victoria. "He'll be calling any minute now to get directions to the camp."

Twilight nodded and stood to leave. "Well I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure she'll understand if you're just honest with her. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go find Matt. He's not exactly trusting of strangers as you've probably seen, so I should let him know ahead of time that someone else is coming." With a small wave she made to leave.

She'd only gone two steps before I said, "You're going to find who?"

"Matt. You know, the one who–" her eyes widened suddenly, and she let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh, did I say Matt? Haha, silly me. I meant Nathan. No idea why I'd say that other name, and..." She saw the look in my eyes and dropped the act. "Yeah, okay you got me," she said, cheeks going red.

I was about to ask what else we should know about "Nathan," but thought better of it. I could imagine plenty of scenarios involving finding Twilight Sparkle and a Princess Luna suffering from multiple personality disorder that would require remaining anonymous. Instead, I just shrugged.

"Well, he's kept you and Luna safe for this long, and he did a great job of patching up everyone who got hurt, so I won't complain about a bit of initial mistrust. But if we're ever going to get you all home, everyone's going to have to work together."

A nod. "I agree. But just... give him a bit of time. I know he wants to help take care of us. He just has a lot he's going through right now."

He wasn't the only one, but I knew better than to bring that up. As Twilight excused herself and made her way towards Matt's tent, I noted again how Twilight seemed much more tense and anxious than her show counterpart suggested, and wondered just what kind of things she and Luna had been through to make her that way.

A Place to Call Home

A Place to Call Home
April 27, 2012

Moey's call came shortly after Twilight left, which gave me a great opportunity to speak with him alone. Though I still wasn't pleased with how he had acted when I sought shelter, I at least understood that he thought he'd been doing the right thing in his own way. It was important that I didn't dwell on such matters though, so when the call came and we exchanged awkward greetings, I simply gave him a brief update on the events that had occurred since I'd spoken to Victoria, and directions to our camp.

As soon as I got off the phone I rounded up everyone for an impromptu meeting. The reality that I'd had a hard time admitting was that we didn't have any real plans as for how we were going to move forward. Sure, unexpected setbacks were piling up almost as fast as random Equestrians were, but up until that point my only real plan had been to go into hiding and get in touch with DragonLS. Even if Dragon had somehow managed to gather up the overseas Equestrians, I still had no real idea how we were going to unite them with my group. I owed it to everyone involved to be upfront with what was happening. Maybe someone else might even have an idea or two to share.

Once everyone had assembled, I took a moment to reflect on just how large our group had grown. Pinkie, who was fidgeting with a Coke she had somehow acquired, and Fluttershy, who calmly had her hands in her lap, sat in two of my green folding chairs just outside my tent. Right beside Fluttershy, perched on the ground by her feet, sat Angel, who winced occasionally from his various injuries. John, still nursing his side, was perched on a log with Apple Bloom to his left, and Sweetie and Scootaloo to his right. Princess Luna sat on the far end of the log, swinging her legs to and fro. Twilight sat near the log in my last folding chair and absently played with a few stray strands of hair, with Matt and Michelle holding hands to her left in their own chairs.

I cleared my throat as an indication that I was ready to speak. Eleven people stared back at me expectantly. Time to dive in head-first.

"I've called everyone together because..." I stopped and tried to rethink my words. It was made more difficult by the fact that I had everyone's attention. I felt like they were all waiting on me to say something like "Hey, I figured it all out. We're going to be alright," as if I'd actually had anything to do with finding and uniting so many Equestrians. The truth was that it was just dumb luck that I had stumbled upon them all. Nothing more.

I tried again.

"From the moment I came across Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy out in the middle of nowhere, I've been acting as if I have some grand plan for finding and uniting everypony, and bunny, and getting them all home." I noticed Apple Bloom looking at me like I was Cheerilee, about to teach her some kind of life-changing wisdom, and shook my head. "The truth is I've been flying blind. Any plan I once had has long gone out the window."

John shifted nervously on the log and stole a quick glance at the Crusaders, then looked to the ground. Matthew and Michelle looked at each other. They seemed to come to some kind of unspoken agreement, and Matt stood up.

"So you're telling me you have no idea what you're doing?" he asked. He crossed his arms and his eyes showed a flash of anger. "You've dragged five ponies and a rabbit, several of which are injured, out into the Australian wilderness without any kind of plan whatsoever!?"

"Hey!" Pinkie jumped up and pointed at Matt. "The captain did have a plan, but things didn't work out and now we're out here. And in case you've already forgotten, you allowed a princess to run around in the wilderness completely unsupervised!"

Matt pointed his thumb at his chest. "It's not my fault the princess–" he jabbed the thumb towards Luna "–decided to take a moonlit stroll while we weren't looking!"

"Guys, I don't think any of this is helping," John said quietly. He was consoling Apple Bloom, who looked miserable. Beside him, Sweetie Belle had her eyes shut tight, her hand absently rubbing her forehead. Scootaloo was doing her best to avoid eye contact with anyone, and Princess Luna was sobbing quietly from her spot on the log.

I held up my hands as if in surrender. "This is what I'm talking about. Every time I try to come up with a new plan, it all falls apart. It's almost like I'm cursed or something. Whatever the reason, I think we need to work together on how to proceed. From this point forward, I'm no longer calling all the shots."

It was hard to tell if Matthew had even been listening, as he and Michelle were busy comforting Luna. John looked as if he'd just gone through the worst few days of his life, if the lost expression on his face was any indication. Twilight regarded me thoughtfully, but was otherwise silent. It was Fluttershy who eventually broke the silence.

"Well... if you want my advice I think we need to find a way to get some better shelter." She indicated the entire group. "I think you've done a wonderful job of bringing us all together somehow, but until we all get to know each other better perhaps it's best if we give each other some space."

She had a point. Matthew and I certainly needed some time to work out our differences, and despite being out in the open wilderness it was impossible to avoid each other for long. It was also difficult to have any private conversations, as there was always someone else nearby. Pinkie and the Crusaders needed some fun in their lives, and being out here wasn't cutting it. The problem was that we had nowhere else to go. For the moment.

"You're right, but right now we don't have a choice other than to stay put. That brings me to the other thing I wanted to talk about." I waited until I was sure I had everyone's attention before continuing. "An old friend of mine will be arriving here soon. His job is to determine what's really going on out here, and I'm going to tell him the truth. All of it."

As expected, the reactions were immediate.

"Are you insane? The fewer people who know about these ponies, the better!"

"For the record, I actually agree with Nathan."

"Does this mean ya finally called her?"

"Called who, Apple Bloom?"

"His wife!"

"Whoah, I didn't know he's married!"

"If your friend is who I think it is, then I change my mind. We're fine out here."

"Oh come on, Fluttershy. Moey isn't so bad. And you know, now that I think back on it, it probably did kind of look like the captain and I were about to–"

"Okay, enough!" I called out. To my surprise, everyone actually quieted down and listened. "Right. Look, I know as well as anyone how foolish it would be to announce the Equestrians to the world. Truth is, we need help. We–" I motioned between the native humans and myself, "–aren't enough. If Moey can convince my wife that I'm not crazy, it could mean having more help. It could mean having shelter again."

"Or things could go wrong, as you just pointed out tends to happen whenever you come up with a plan," Matt stated. "Do you have any idea the things I've gone through to try to protect them?" He asked, referencing Twilight and Luna.

"No, because you haven't shared anything with us. I can understand the need for secrecy, but–"

"They were going to take Luna away and place her in a god-damned foster home!" He shouted. He sat back down in his chair and placed his hands over his head. "I work... used to work as a nurse. Luna was struck by a car almost as soon as she appeared on Earth, and was taken into the hospital as a Jane Doe. I worked with kids, so she ended up under my care. But the social worker they put on her case didn't give a damn about her. She was going to take her away, and then the princess would have had no chance of ever returning home. So I... I did what I had to do. I've taken her away from that place."

Michelle spoke up then. "It hasn't been easy on us, and I can tell it hasn't been easy on any of you, either. We care about getting Twilight and her friends back home. But in trying to do so, we've had to do some things that required us to go into hiding. That's how we ended up out here. That's why we can't really afford to take chances."

"That's why you used a fake name," I said. Matthew didn't even respond, but Michelle nodded, confirming what Twilight had told me.

There was a lot to absorb. First, John had run into Discord and suffered broken bones for his troubles, as well as forcing his mum and sister into a car accident. Then Matthew had basically kidnapped Luna from a hospital and was likely the target of a nationwide, if not international, manhunt. It seemed that finding Equestrians and getting into trouble went hand in hand.

Before anyone could say anything else, I heard the unmistakable sound of leaves crunching under someone's foot. I turned to see Moey, his eyes wide, emerge from behind a tree.

"Moey?" I called. Then, "How long have you been there? What did you hear?"

Moey blinked and looked at me.

"I heard everything."

It took a good half an hour to get things under control after Moey's sudden arrival, what with Matthew asking questions, the Crusaders taking interest in another new human friend, and Fluttershy having to come to terms with the fact that he was, in fact, back. Admittedly, it also took about that long for me to stop worrying about what to say, and to just start talking. It was another few hours worth of everyone, and everypony, chipping in their own experiences and explanations before we finally finished detailing everything that had happened from the moment we'd all found our respective Equestrians.

Then came the wait as Moey tried to process everything he'd been told. After many long minutes of pacing, the questions began.

"So you are saying you're actually a pony, yes?"

"Yup!"

"Indeed. It would not surprise me in the least if you are just as lovely as a pony." That got a giggle out of Pinkie. Moey then moved and knelt down before Apple Bloom. "You, too, are a pony?"

"Um, yes sir."

"Are there schools in this place you call 'Ponyville'?"

"Oh, yes. Me, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle are in Miss Cheerilee's class."

"Ah, even in the pony lands they are indoctrinated so young! So tell me, what is it that you learn there?"

"All kinds of stuff! We learn about math, Equestrian history, cutie marks. You know, that sort of thing."

"Is there a pony president?"

A huff. "Yes. It's usually Diamond Tiara."

"Has she started many wars?"

"May as well have."

"Um," Fluttershy chimed in. "I think he means the ruler of Equestria, not the student pony president."

"Oh yes, of course. A thousand apologies, the lovely one is correct. Though perhaps this Diamond Tiara is on the path to becoming a tyrannical ruler, yes?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Not likely. She'd have to become a princess first."

"Let's hope that never happens," said Scootaloo. "Though if you ask her, she'd say she already is one."

"So the pony lands are ruled by a princess? Is she, too, a tyrant?"

"Hardly!" Twilight shouted. Her cheeks grew red as everyone looked at her. "Ahem, well she isn't. A tyrant, I mean. Princess Celestia is well-loved and respected throughout all of Equestria. As is her sister, here, Princess Luna."

Moey's eyes widened. He moved to Luna and crouched near her. "This one is a princess, you say. A little young though, yes?"

"Far be it for the likes of you to judge whether we be fit to rule!" Luna said suddenly, standing on the log and pointing a fist at Moey for emphasis. Her voice was commanding, and yet it was still that of a little girl. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing.

And so it went. Moey spent hours asking each of the Equestrians for details, and listening with interest at their responses. He would occasionally repeat an earlier question, but ask it to somepony other than who he had originally asked. When daytime had turned to dusk, he finally stopped and asked to speak with me alone. The others, relieved for it to finally be over, eagerly went about preparing for dinner.

Moey and I walked until we felt we were far enough away from camp, then he turned and put his hands on my shoulders, his face close to mine.

"My friend, either you have collected the most talented acting troupe in the history of the world, in which case why have you not put them to work by now, or they are, as unlikely as it may be, telling the truth. Please for my sake tell me they are actors."

"I wish they were," I said. I shrugged out of his grasp and started to pace. "I know as well as anyone how crazy it sounds. Why do you think I didn't try to explain things to Victoria?"

"You're right, she would have kicked you out of the house for sure. Oh wait, she did that anyway, yes?"

I glowered. "Thanks, Moey. You really know how to comfort your friends."

"Always my pleasure. So, these ponies. Does your Christian bible say anything about them? The end times are here now, yes?"

"Hardly. I'm having doubts about everything I once thought I knew."

"Well, I won't ask you about converting to Islam. The Qur'an has done nothing to prepare me for this shit."

It was said in a joking manner, but I knew Moey was having trouble coming to grips with what we'd told him. For one, before then I'd never really heard him swear in all the years I'd known him. I allowed a few moments of reflection before continuing.

"So, your thoughts?"

"My friend, I do not know what to think. I have seen the faces of liars, and your friends do not possess them. For whatever reason, they truly believe they are ponies, which is ridiculous of course. What is even more ridiculous is that their story is somehow more believable than anything else I can think of." He put his hand to his chin in thought. "If I were to pretend that everything I heard tonight is true, then we are all in danger, yes?"

"Well, Discord is still on the loose, and–"

"No no no," Moey interrupted. "Please, I don't even want to think about that right now. I mean your friends. The ones who don't think they're ponies. They are all fugitives, so we must do things quietly, yes?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then it is settled," Moey said with finality. "Ponies or no, you are in need of assistance. It is my belief that you and everyone else I met tonight may very well be insane, but I also believe you have remained faithful to your wife. Tonight I am going to report my findings to Victoria. Then," he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in conspiratorially, "you and I are going get into as much mischief as we can while we find a way to get these pony friends of yours home."

I woke the next morning refreshed, having slept surprisingly soundly for someone who's future hinged on whether or not his wife believed everything his crazy Arab friend told her. Moey had left late last night to stay at a hotel, with apologies that he wasn't prepared to try to accommodate us all for the moment. He'd return sometime early today to report how well, or unwell, my wife had taken the news.

I emerged from the tent to find Fluttershy having a conversation with a few birds who had flown down to greet her. Quiet voices from Matthew's tent told me that he and Michelle were awake, if not out of bed yet. Angel, John, and the Crusaders were still asleep, though Twilight and Princess Luna were up and about.

Anxiety threatened to get the better of me as I went about getting the morning chores out of the way. There was a chance we'd be forced to remain at the camp for a long time, so it was best to prepare for the worst. My heart rate peaked when Moey arrived just as everyone else was emerging from the tents to start the day.

Everyone knew what was on the line. Moey's face was unreadable as he drew near, however.

"Well... what's the news?" I asked.

Moey frowned and my heart skipped a beat. Then he smiled and said, "Victoria has agreed to let some of the former ponies stay at your house. Furthermore, I will take some of them to my home as well, so things are not so cramped, yes?"

Even as Pinkie shouted and somehow managed to throw confetti into the air, and as the Crusaders all hugged John, and Matthew whispered excitedly to Luna, I could only focus on one thought: I was going home. I was finally going home.

I managed to crack the first real smile I'd had in days. It faltered, however, as Moey drew near with a look of sympathy on his face. He held up some keys.

"Not you, though. I am sorry, my friend. She needs more time, yes?" He pressed the keys into my hand and surprised me with a hug. "Your mother-in-law is still away in Cairo for some time. Victoria has left you the keys to her home. She... she is not yet ready to see you just yet, you see. Take whichever ponies you want with you. She trusts you, she just needs time."

Words failed me. I'd just had my life given back to me, and then snatched away again just as quickly. I understood, though. Victoria would be given however much time she needed. And she would be taking care of some of the Equestrians. Perhaps they could convince her?

As much as I wanted to have my old life back, it would just have to wait a bit longer. I had to look at the positives. We'd gained not just one place to call home, but three. Not only that, but my mother-in-law's house was large and isolated on the Georges River, with loads of space both inside and out. I'd have plenty of room to house more Equestrians if we managed to find them.

As the others made plans and discussed who would be staying with who, I resolved to do whatever it took to find the others. And then... then I was going to come home.

Settling In

Settling In
April 28, 2012

It took some time to sort out living arrangements for the Equestrians. The initial thought was that our groups would revert back to how they were before we'd all met up: I'd take Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel, John would take the Crusaders, and Matt and Michelle would take Twilight and Princess Luna. Matt then suggested that everyone with injuries should be left in his care, as he was the most qualified to ensure they healed properly. This meant that John, Apple Bloom, Angel, and Luna would go with him and Michelle to Moey's place. John insisted that he was fine, but agreed that Apple Bloom should probably continue to receive proper medical treatment. He offered to care for Sweetie and Scootaloo with Victoria at my place. Perhaps he could explain things to her, and it might be best if she was only exposed to Equestrians who were children for now. I was expecting Twilight to go with Matt's group, but she said she didn't want to be a distraction for those who needed Matt's expertise, so she offered to come along with my group to my mother-in-law's place.

That's how I somehow ended up with Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Twilight Sparkle. I was going to ask how I was supposed to gain my wife's favor back if I agreed to house all of the Equestrian young women by myself, but the way Twilight looked at Pinkie and Fluttershy helped stay my tongue. She just wanted to be close to two of her best friends, and I didn't have the heart to try and stop her.

Moey had actually brought a van, so he said he would drop John, Sweetie, and Scootaloo off with Victoria to save any awkwardness between her and I. When the time came for us to get moving, we all said our goodbyes and promised to keep in touch and visit whenever we could. Eventually Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and I all watched as the others squeezed into Moey's van and headed off to their new homes. After another twenty minutes or so of packing the last bits of gear into my car, the girls and I jumped in and started the journey home.

Twilight, who was in the passenger's seat, busied herself with examining the dials on the radio and dashboard.

"Matt never let me study anything in his car," she said when she noticed me watching her. I rolled my eyes and let her be. I was used to former ponies being fascinated by the mundane by now. Twilight seemed to appreciate my indifference, however, and jumped at the chance to have a play with the radio. After a few minutes of experimentation, she settled onto a radio station that was playing We Are Young by Fun. I couldn't help but notice Fluttershy silently bopping her head to the music in the rear view mirror. From this to Lady Gaga, her musical preferences certainly weren't what I once would have expected.

The drive out to my mother-in-law's house took a little more than an hour. Most of that time was spent with the girls catching up on what had happened with each other over the previous few weeks. I suppose with all the excitement of the past few days, there really hadn't been much time for them to just sit and... well, talk. It gave me a chance to learn more of Twilight Sparkle's first few weeks on Earth.

Twilight's first few days hadn't been much different from Pinkie's and Fluttershy's. She'd had the same questions about where she was, had similar reactions to, and the need to get used to, her new human form, and horror at discovering humanity's more carnivorous side. It seemed Matthew had eventually shown Twilight episodes of the show, as well, and had dealt with the aftermath.

One big difference, however, was that Twilight had had to cope with losing her magic. Sure, Fluttershy hadn't been quite as good with animals as she'd been used to at first, and Pinkie... well Pinkie had been a bit toned down, so to speak. But Twilight Sparkle was the living representation of the Element of Magic... and she had no magic. I didn't miss the strain in her voice as she explained that part of her experiences to her friends. It would have been hard to try to cope with that, and no doubt she was still trying to come to terms with it.

Another bloody major difference was that Twilight Sparkle had been unfortunate enough to witness humanity's more violent tendencies first-hand very early on. Apparently she'd seen a man attacked with some kind of blade by another man at the hospital Matthew worked in. It clearly wasn't a memory she wanted to dwell on, and I was thankful that both Pinkie and Fluttershy knew better than to press for details.

The rest of Twilight's experiences up to this point could be summed up as Matthew being charged with taking care of Princess Luna, who had been hit by a car upon her arrival on Earth and ended up in his hospital, his subsequent "kidnapping" of Luna to help avoid her being put in a foster home, and their eventual arrival in Australia in an effort to escape the law. Considering what Matthew had been through with Twilight, and what John had dealt with with the crusaders, I couldn't help but wonder what kind of troubles everyone else who had found ponies had gone through.

Just as we learned of Twilight's experiences, she also learned of ours. She'd been pretty much in the dark the past few days, as there'd only been enough time to give her the most basic of rundowns before Moey had arrived, and much of her time had been spent with Sweetie Belle. She displayed a range of emotions as Pinkie and Fluttershy described the events that took place since their arrival in Australia. Concern regarding Discord's antics, curiosity towards Ashton, relief that everyone was as healthy and safe as we were considering all we had been through. I pretended not to notice her sympathetic demeanor when the girls explained who Victoria was and why we weren't currently together.

The rest of the drive was uneventful. The girls continued to chat about various new things they'd discovered on Earth, while I focused on what the next step would be once we arrived at the house. With everything that had happened in the past few days, it might be nice to just take a moment to sit back and relax. It had been far too long since any of us had been able to have a day where we weren't tense, stressed, and worried. Twilight Sparkle's arrival the other night gave me as good a reason as any to come to a firm decision.

It was time we actually had a little fun.

As we neared the house, I pressed a button on the keychain. The house was situated on a river and surrounded by woodland. The main property was also surrounded by a white concrete wall, with a large gate that slowly swung open upon pressing the keychain button. It was a great spot: large, isolated, secure, and private. I drove onto the private driveway and parked in a covered parking spot, making sure to close the gate behind us.

Twilight let out a small whistle as we all got out of the car. "I know you said you were financially secure before the, er..." she blushed slightly, "incident with your wife, but I'd say this is more than just secure," she finished, indicating the house.

"It's not mine, remember?" I said. "And it's nice, yeah. But there are far more extravagant homes deeper in the city. Particularly around the harbor." Despite my attempt to downplay how nice a home it was, even I was impressed every time I saw it. Victoria's parents had worked hard their entire lives, her mother even more so after her husband had passed. This was just one of half a dozen homes she had scattered about Australia and New Zealand.

I led the girls up a gently sloping path to the upper entrance. After a moment of fumbling with the key, I opened the door and we all entered into a large living area. On the far wall was a huge sliding glass door that opened onto a balcony that overlooked the back yard and swimming pool, and offered an amazing view of the river and surrounding wooded areas.

Near the sliding door was a modular corner sofa that seated six, as well as two single chairs. A flat screen television was attached to the wall next to the door. Immediately to our right was a grand piano that both Victoria and her mother liked to play whenever we visited. To our left was a hallway leading to an open kitchen and dining room, also overlooking the back yard, two bathrooms, three bedrooms, and a staircase leading to the lower level.

Pinkie took a moment to admire one of the many paintings decorating the walls. "Ooh, are these from famous human painters?" she asked.

I actually laughed. "No, all of these were painted by family. That one was done by Victoria's grandmother."

"Not bad," she complimented.

Once the Equestrians finished admiring their surroundings, I led them to the sofa and we all took a seat. It felt incredible to be seated on something that was comfortable for once. Too many hours spent either in the car or roughing it in the woods had done a number on my back and legs. Judging from the stretching and leaning back into the cushions that the girls did, they seemed to feel the same way.

"So," Twilight said after nobody else spoke up. "What's the plan?"

I grunted. "The plan is to have no plan. At least, for now," I said. "It's been far too long since Pinkie, Fluttershy, or I have had a moment to relax, and it's done no good for our mental states." I motioned toward Twilight. "And judging from what you told us on the way here, I reckon you could use a bit of a breather yourself."

Twilight seemed to consider my words. "Well," she said, looking thoughtful, "it is true that chronic stress can lead to the production of more cortisol than the body can handle, wearing down the brain's ability to function properly. Disruption of synapse regulation, leading to the loss of sociability, and shrinking of the prefrontal cortex—" It was at that point Twilight noticed us all staring at her. Her cheeks reddened slightly and she cleared her throat. "Ahem, stress is bad, yes."

"Well, it's time to take a load off," I said. "I don't know about you girls, but I can't wait for a fresh shower. After that, there's plenty of things to do here. Swimming, hiking, fishing. We have two kayaks to take out onto the river, or there's about ten bicycles and some good riding trails if you can figure out how to use them. There's both a tennis and basketball court, and if you'd rather not do something physical you can try to figure out how to use the piano, we have some violins and a few guitars, and a study with lots of books. If all else fails, there's television, and plenty of comfortable beds if you just want a nap."

Even with my earlier talk of us needing relaxation, I felt that it wasn't until that very moment that it finally sunk in for us all. The genuine smiles and expressions of relief on everyone's face was all it took to convince me that my plan was a good one. For once, we weren't going to worry about anything. And what a wonderful feeling it would be.

I felt revitalized after my shower. While I enjoyed camping, my least-favorite part of it was having to go without proper bathing facilities most of the time. It also felt good to get into some fresh clothes thanks to the extra outfits I'd had in the boot of the car. The girls were able to change clothes as well, as they all either fit the same size as my wife, or her mother, and there were plenty of clothes for both in the wardrobes. Fluttershy ended up wearing a turquoise blue dress with yellow lace accents that flowed down to her knees. Pinkie Pie wore a blue cardigan over a white shirt with a pink skirt. Twilight chose a light blue button-up shirt and a deep purple skirt that went well with her hair.

After we were all bathed and changed, Pinkie took Fluttershy downstairs to go have a look around the property, and Twilight decided to check out some of the books. Personally, I decided to grab a laptop and see if I could get in touch with DragonLS. I knew I should have been relaxing, but it had definitely been too long since I'd been able to catch up on how he and Princess Celestia were doing. I figured I'd be better able to relax after finally getting an email out.

As soon as I logged into my email account I saw what I should have realized sooner: DragonLS had already contacted me. Several times.

It made sense. The last message I'd sent him had been well over a week ago. He'd probably become worried after I failed to respond to his email explaining how he'd found Applejack and Rainbow Dash. I opened the oldest of the messages first.

To: Aussie_hunter@ausmail.com

FROM: MidnightSkull_Dragon@wahoo.com

SUBJECT: Everything OK?

Greetings, Slorg. I hope this message sees you well. Obviously, I never received a response from you in regard to my last email. I can only hope there haven't been any more chaos antics that you or your entourage have had to deal with.

Thus far, our princess still seems to be handling things fairly well. She does get a bit... demanding when she's bored. But she is otherwise coping well.

I've made arrangements to meet up with Garrett and Applejack, and Cody and Rainbow Dash. Garrett goes by Cowboy_Appledash on Fimfic, and Cody is Silverness. The two have already met up in Chicago, and they'll be arriving here in Atlanta in the next day or two. Other than that, I have nothing new to report.

I have high hopes of seeing a response back from you by then.

- Gerald

I felt somewhat bad for leaving Dragon, or Gerald, in the dark for so long. It wasn't as if I'd had a choice though, considering all that had happened in the past week.

I opened the next email.

To: Aussie_hunter@ausmail.com

FROM: MidnightSkull_Dragon@wahoo.com

SUBJECT: They're Real

Greetings, Slorg. I truly hope this reaches you in good health.

Garrett and Cody have arrived, and with them came Applejack and Rainbow Dash. I admit I had my suspicions at first, but AJ and Rainbow are definitely the real deal. They will not stop competing over which pony had it worse when they first arrived on Earth. It's actually worse than in the show, and I could not have conceived that to have been possible. Even Celestia lost her temper with them, but at least they settled down after that.

Cody seems a bit overwhelmed by the whole pony business, and I believe something happened with Rainbow Dash that he isn't willing to tell us. But I feel having Garrett and myself around to help has assuaged his fears to some extent.

Garrett is... different. How do I put this? He is... loud. And opinionated. But I admit that he seems to mean well. At least Applejack keeps him in check. I don't know if the show ever touched on this, but AJ doesn't take any crap from anyone. I never realized she was so... assertive.

At any rate, everyone is safe and well. I am hoping the same can be said for you and those in your care.

- Gerald

I sat back in my chair. It was good to hear that Applejack and Rainbow Dash had truly been found. Even better that they were united with Princess Celestia.

What wasn't great to hear was how Cody, or Silverness, was coping. I wondered what sort of things he'd had to deal with when he'd found Rainbow Dash, and what could make him overwhelmed. Rainbow seemed like the kind of pony who could handle herself well, but Dragon thought something had happened with her that Cody was reluctant to talk about. Considering what Pinkie, Fluttershy, Twilight, Angel, and the Crusaders had all been through, it could be just about anything. I'd need to find out and see if there was any way I could help.

I also wasn't sure what to think of this Garrett bloke. Loud and opinionated were two words that did not go well with the type of people I generally got along with, but he got Applejack to Dragon in one piece so at least he seemed to have taken care of her.

There was one more email.

To: Aussie_hunter@ausmail.com

FROM: MidnightSkull_Dragon@wahoo.com

SUBJECT: Attacked

Slorg,

I'm not even sure if you're still alive at this point. I'm not sure of anything right now. If you are, then you need to know.

We were attacked by Discord.

Oh no. I knew Discord wouldn't stay out of the picture for long, but I'd been hoping that the Equestrians in the US would be safe for a while. I continued reading.

We all managed to escape, but Cody and Rainbow Dash both got hurt pretty bad. I didn't know what to do, but Princess Celestia somehow managed to heal them. Not completely, but enough. It's like her magic is partially back.

At this point I can only assume he got to you again. I truly hope not. It's foolish wishful thinking, but I hope you are still out there and this gets to you. I've had to leave college and relocate. I won't say where in case Discord can somehow read this.

I'll keep checking for a reply.

- Gerald

I checked the date the email was sent. Two days ago. I sighed and pressed my thumbs into my temples. I couldn't afford to get stressed again right now. We all needed a break.

The one thing I couldn't do was anything that would help Gerald's situation. He was in the US, and there wasn't anything I could do to directly assist him. I'd just have to trust in his ability to guide everyone to safety.

What I could do was send an email to let him know he wasn't alone. Perhaps knowing that we'd gone from three Equestrians to eight since the last time I'd messaged him would help in some way. It was certainly a morale boost to know that Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Celestia were all together, despite the attack. As predicted, Celestia was also regaining her magic. That, at least, was another positive.

I bent over the laptop and got to typing. I'd send out the long-overdue email. I would not mention the attack to Pinkie, Fluttershy, or Twilight. They all needed relaxation, not more worries.

Just a day. A full day of peace and quiet. That's all I wanted. If there was a God, or fate, or even if Celestia or Discord could somehow pull the strings... whatever it was, I was begging it. Just leave us alone for one day, and we'd get back to it tomorrow.

I finished the email, hit send, and went to grab a towel from the linen closet. As I made my way downstairs to the pool, I pushed the feelings of guilt out of my mind. I couldn't do anything to help the Equestrians on the other side of the world right now. All I could do was ensure that Pinkie, Twilight, and Fluttershy had a chance to emotionally recover, if only for a short time.

I owed it to them.

Bonus Mini Chapter: Trepidation

Bonus Mini Chapter: Trepidation
Night Time - April 27, 2012

It was a cold, wet night in downtown Chicago. Heavy raindrops fell from the sky, illuminated in the dim glow of a dying street lamp, before hitting the ground with force to form puddles of water and filth. It was the third straight night of rainfall, and the back alleys of the city were none cleaner for it. The smell of damp cardboard and mildew emanated from the garbage dumpsters that lined the alley. Soggy newspapers and other rubbish littered the ground.

A door opened, spilling light into the alley. A shadow appeared in the doorway and stepped into the rain. It moved to a nearby trash can, opened it, and poured the contents of a pot it was carrying into it. The shadow then retreated into the doorway and disappeared.

Moments later, another figure, that of a young woman, moved from the shadows of a nearby dumpster. She crawled quickly over damp paper and sharp glass, ignoring the cuts she received on her bare feet in the process. When she reached the trash can, she opened the lid and cupped her hands together to scoop its contents up.

She ate ravenously, grabbing handfuls of leftover pasta and shoveling them into her mouth. All the while, her deep purple eyes scanned the alley for any signs of movement. By the time she had finished, there was pasta sauce smeared all over her face, in her long black hair, and down her torn white tee shirt and faded blue denim shorts.

Despite her wariness, she never noticed the hooded figure approaching until it was nearly upon her.

The young woman gave a startled yell and scurried backwards on the ground, trying to create distance between herself and her assailant. The figure, whose face was concealed by its hood, smiled.

"You can scream if you like, but—" he indicated the sky "—I somehow doubt anyone will hear you."

The young woman looked up and allowed a gasp to escape her lips. The rain that had been falling just seconds ago was suspended in mid-air as if a million tiny crystals had magically formed all around her. It was almost beautiful, and she couldn't resist reaching out and touching a few of the droplets. They moved easily with her touch.

"I've examined all possibilities," the hooded man said, kneeling and adjusting his sleeves. The girl noticed the initials "F.A." stitched into them. "Did you know that?" The man stared at the young woman in a way that made her shiver from more than just the wind and rain.

"It's fine. You don't need to say anything," the man continued. "The fact of the matter is, you have no role to play in this story." He stood up and made a show of indicating everything around them. "These buildings, this rain, this sky. None of it is yours."

The young woman continued to cower and just stare wide-eyed at the man.

The man considered the woman for a moment, then lifted his hood off, revealing the face of a man who seemed... tired. He regarded the woman with something that resembled pity.

"Things wouldn't get much easier if I could send you back," he said. He stood up then and pulled his hood back on. The woman didn't even realize it had resumed raining until the man produced a multicolored umbrella seemingly from nowhere. He knelt down and handed it to her. "Your friends are working on it. They may actually succeed this time."

"Who are you?" the woman asked finally.

The man stood up and gave her a look that sent chills down her spine.

"If you're lucky, Octavia Melody," he said, unblinking. "You'll never have to know."

A moment later he was walking briskly away down the alley. Octavia watched him until he reached the end of the alley and vanished into thin air.

Do You Believe in Magic?

Do You Believe in Magic?
April 28, 2012

"What's that amazing smell?" Twilight asked as she peeked her head around the corner to peer into the kitchen.

"Stir fry," I said, giving the pan a shake to mix the rice and vegetables. "Vegetarian for you and the girls. Beef for myself." I turned and held up a finger. "And before you say anything, I know you've already had the whole "meat" discussion with Matt. So, you know, no trying to make me feel guilty."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. I get it," she said with a small giggle. She stepped into the kitchen and contented herself with watching me cook. After a while she asked, "So what do you think?"

"About what? You already said the food smells delicious, so I think it probably will be," I said with a laugh.

"No, no. Not the food," She said. She wrapped her arms around herself and lowered her gaze to the floor. "I mean what do you think about this? Our whole... situation."

Bloody hell. Just the kind of topic I'd been trying to avoid. I retrieved four bowls from an overhead cupboard and started dishing the rice into them. "I think," I began, choosing my words carefully, "that if anyone can work out how to get you and your friends home, it's probably you." I turned and smiled at her.

The smile she offered in return didn't reach her eyes. She walked past me, put her hands on the nearby windowsill, and gazed out the window.

"It's not always easy," she said quietly. "Knowing things."

My hand froze midway through dishing up the final portion. Twilight turned around wrapped her arms around herself again. With visible effort, she looked me in the eyes.

"Portal spells have existed for most of Equestria's modern era," she said. "It was a natural progression from the advent of teleportation spells, but for centuries they could only be produced by the most powerful of unicorns, and even they were severely limited in what they were able to accomplish. It wasn't until Mage Meadowbrook hypothesized that concentrated magic could be funneled into specially-prepared objects, thereby enchanting them, that portals came to be more widely used. But even to this day, artifacts enchanted with the magic necessary to create portals are exceedingly rare. They're just too difficult to control.

"This, of course, only relates to localized portal use. Scholars had long suspected that alternate dimensions existed, so it was only natural that those who could harness the power of portals would attempt to one day bridge that gap. And then, one day, they did."

I realized my mouth was open and took a moment to swallow. This was diving into stuff that the show had never touched on before. I listened intently as Twilight continued.

"The discovery of Tartarus was, for all intents and purposes, an accident. Opinions vary on who holds claim to its discovery. All that's certain is that whoever discovered inter-dimensional travel had somehow combined chaos magic with his or her own. Some propose that they knocked over a jar of concentrated chaos magic captured during Discord's initial reign over Equestria. Others suggest they were somehow able to conjure it themselves. Whatever the case, there was only enough chaos magic left in the world for a single attempt at duplicating the spell. It succeeded, and the realm of Tartarus now serves as a prison for Equestria's strongest enemies."

It took a moment for everything to sink in. Tartarus? I remembered it to have been mentioned recently in the show, but hearing it mentioned here was a sobering reminder that there was indeed a "pony Hell". But that wasn't the most important thing Twilight had revealed.

"So you're saying inter-dimensional portals can only be created with a combination of chaos and, what, harmony magic?" I asked. At Twilight's nod I said, "But isn't Discord the only known being capable of creating chaos magic?"

Twilight gave another melancholy smile. "That would be correct. The cold truth of the matter is that we'll never be able to return home." She held my gaze with a forlorn expression. "Without Discord's direct assistance, we're trapped here. Forever."

Twilight and I were sitting at the table, aimlessly picking at our food, when we heard Pinkie and Fluttershy return from their exploration. Judging from Pinkie's excited—and loud—tone of voice, the hike had been an interesting one, and we could hear them even before they made their way inside and up the stairs. As soon as they arrived, Pinkie's attention turned to the food on the table.

"Oooh, something sure smells good," she said, eyeing the bowls and making a show of inhaling the aroma. She and Fluttershy each sat down at the table, grabbed their utensils, and prepared to tuck in. Then Pinkie looked up and noticed the demeanor Twilight and I were sharing. "Um... did it not turn out so well? I mean, it can't be that bad, right?"

Allowing Pinkie and Fluttershy to find out that they weren't going home any time soon was something that none of us were ready to face yet, so I changed my expression and, eyeing Twilight, took a big bite of rice. A moment later Twilight, catching on quickly, did the same. She chewed quickly, swallowed, and gave Pinkie an almost-genuine smile. Pinkie, her eyes darting back and forth between Twilight and I, scrutinized us for a few seconds, then offered her own smile and dug into her food. Fluttershy followed suit soon after, though she continued to eye us with apparent unease.

"Sooo, what have you two been up to?" Pinkie asked casually. It was an innocent enough question, but her calm demeanor unnerved me. Was she actually engaging in small talk, or was she digging for info on why Twilight and I had looked so glum? With Pinkie, it was impossible to tell.

"I read some books," Twilight replied honestly. "I found several useful texts on flora and fauna that are native to Australia, as well as some on a place called New Zealand." She looked at me. "I assume you're familiar with it?"

I nodded. "My wife was originally from New Zealand. It's an island country to the southeast of Australia."

"Have you ever been there?" Twilight asked. "The photos in the book make it out to be quite beautiful..."

"Oh it is. I've been there a few times," I said. "Lots of family over there on my wife's side, so we visit from time to time. Very beautiful, but bloody cold in the winter time."

"Well, duh!" Pinkie said. "That's like one of the defining characteristics of winter."

"Not in Sydney it isn't," I said. "For one thing, it never snows in these parts, though you do see it to the south every now and then. And for another, it doesn't really get that much colder than it is now."

Pinkie considered my words for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully. Then, abruptly, her eyes narrowed and she said, "That's very interesting. Now what were you two moping about earlier?"

Twilight's back stiffened and she looked over at me, then back to Pinkie Pie. "What? Who, me?" she said, looking very uncomfortable. "I wasn't... we weren't—everything's fine!"

Pinkie put both hands on her cheeks and widened her eyes in feigned shock. "Wow, I'm completely convinced!" she said with more sarcasm than I'd ever heard out of her before. She looked my way and said more seriously, "Haven't we already been through this before? I thought we were done with keeping secrets from each other."

Unfortunately, Pinkie had a point. Trying to hide Discord's identity from her and Fluttershy had done nothing to improve the Equestrian's mental health. It had probably made it worse, actually. So why was I trying so hard to make the same mistake all over again?

I sighed and idly pushed my bowl away. "You're right," I admitted, trying to ignore the incredulous look Twilight gave me. "I said I wouldn't keep anything from you two. It's bloody difficult, you know? The truth hurts sometimes, and I don't want to put you through any more pain than you've already had to deal with."

Pinkie's expression softened. "Aww, you almost sounded like Applejack just then. Honestly, I know you'd never purposely try to hurt us, so you can tell us anything, Captain!" she said warmly. Then she gave a small shrug. "Besides, it wasn't exactly hard to tell that something was wrong"

"It was pretty obvious," Fluttershy chipped in quietly.

I looked at Twilight, who held my gaze a moment, then reached across the table and put a hand on Pinkie's shoulder.

"Actually, Pinkie," Twilight said with a sigh. "It was me who was keeping something from you all. Something I've thought about since—well, since I first began to make sense of this world. I realize we've only just been reunited, but I've kept this knowledge from Matt and Michelle as well. It's not that I don't trust anyone with it... it's more that I honestly can't conceive of any way of telling you that isn't calamitous." She stared down at the table while Pinkie and Fluttershy, their attention wholly on Twilight, looked on. A moment later she looked up and said, "I... I don't think it's possible for us to get back home."

For a moment, I feared what must have been going through Pinkie and Fluttershy's minds. Everything was quiet as the two former ponies absorbed what had just been revealed to them. No returning to Ponyville. No visits to Cloudsdale or Appleoosa. No possible reunion with anypony other than those unfortunate enough to have also been trapped on Earth. With everything the girls and I had already been through, and to discover it was all for nothing...

I was prepared for another set of emotional breakdowns. I was prepared for a long night of trying to help the girls cope with the sudden, jarring news. What I wasn't prepared for was what happened next.

"Oh. That." Pinkie said. Then she laughed. "Yeah, we already knew that."

"You—wait, what?" Twilight asked, her mouth slightly agape.

I stood up from the table and stared, disbelieving, first at Pinkie, then at Fluttershy. My mind swam with questions. "Wait a minute," I said, blinking to try to clear my head. "I can almost admit that maybe I should have expected Pinkie to somehow figure all this out, but you also knew?" I looked at Fluttershy and raised an eyebrow.

Fluttershy nodded and suddenly became interested in fidgeting with her spoon. "Pinkie and I... we've discussed it."

"When?" Twilight and I asked in unison.

I didn't notice the sudden change in Pinkie's demeanor until she looked away and became silent. Fluttershy seemed to notice as well, because she looked straight into my eyes and said, "Just after Sweetie Belle lost control of her magic at the hotel, and although I know this may seem hypocritical, I would very much appreciate it if you don't ask for any more details about that right now."

I'm not sure why, but something told me it was best not to challenge the girls for keeping secrets despite the conversation we'd just had about not keeping them from each other. Perhaps it was Pinkie's very sudden mood swing, or perhaps it was because I trusted Fluttershy's newfound confidence. Maybe it was because whatever was bothering Pinkie was apparently worse than the knowledge that they were probably trapped on Earth forever. Whatever the reason, I nodded, and even Twilight seemed content remain silent.

The rest of lunch was uneventful, and the girls all helped me out with wiping down the table and cleaning the dishes afterward. It was still early afternoon when we finished, and I really didn't want the rest of the day to be spent with everyone either upset, or too afraid to talk for fear of making someone upset. We were supposed to be relaxing, not coming up with new ways of depressing ourselves.

Despite Twilight's revelation about portal magic, I was still determined to look into ways of getting the Equestrians home. Though they'd probably deny it, I also suspected that the girls each held onto a small sliver of hope that we'd somehow find a different way to get them home as well. It was something we'd need to discuss, but now wasn't the time. Right now was relaxation time, because despite multiple attempts to do just that, everyone was still tense or upset!

"Who wants to go swimming?" I suddenly cried out, half-angrily. I felt my cheeks grow warm when I realized how petulant I sounded. Worse, I realized too late that if I wanted to patch things up with Victoria, suggesting an activity that required the Equestrians to put on bathing suits was probably the wrong way to go about it. I was about to say, "Nevermind," when Fluttershy stood up from the sofa and spoke.

"Well, I never got a chance to the last time we had access to a pool. I'll come!"

It was about twenty minutes later when I hung my towel over the glass fence that surrounded the pool and stepped over to test the water with my toe. The water had warmed up a bit from the quick swim I'd had earlier, which was great because I hated having to adjust to cold water. The girls emerged from the house soon after and began sorting out their gear.

As soon as Fluttershy had agreed to come swimming, Pinkie had decided to join in too. Twilight initially thought she'd be left out, seeing as she didn't have a bathing suit, but Pinkie happened to 'find' one that fit her perfectly—because of course she did—and so Twilight came along as well. There was a bit of confusion at first when I tried to explain to the girls the importance of using sunscreen, especially in Australia, but it turns out they actually use sunscreen as ponies, so they were already aware of what to do. I tried not to imagine how pony sunscreen worked and just let them do their thing.

I was just putting my foot into the water to slowly ease myself in when Pinkie leaped from the edge toward the center of the pool.

"Cannonball!" she cried. A moment later her impact sent water cascading everywhere. I tried to raise my hands up but it was no use, I got soaked. So did Twilight and Fluttershy, from the look of it.

"Pinkie!" Twilight shouted, though from the tone of her voice it seemed like she was only partially annoyed.

"Well, since you're all wet anyway—" Fluttershy said before giving Twilight a little shove towards the pool. "In you go!" Her cheeks reddened slightly and she put her hand over her mouth to hide a giggle when Twilight splashed into the water and resurfaced, blinking in surprise.

Fluttershy wasn't paying attention to me, and when I saw Twilight look my way I knew what she had in mind: revenge. I nodded and slowly made my way over towards the completely oblivious Fluttershy. When I got into position, Twilight gave me a barely-perceptible nod, and I raised my hands.

Only, I couldn't do it. It just felt wrong to shove her into the pool, and she turned and jumped slightly when she noticed me standing just behind her.

"Oh, my! You scared me. Were—were you about to... push me in?" she asked.

I held my hands up. "No, no. I thought about it, but I just couldn't bring myse—hey!" My words were cut off as I, too, got pushed into the pool.

Pinkie's raucous laughter didn't make me feel any less foolish for letting my guard down. I made a mental note that Fluttershy had an undocumented mischievous side as she dove into the water beside me. When she emerged, she gave me a sympathetic look, then smiled and swam to the other side of the pool.

"You know, I would have thought that you would know better than to leave yourself wide open like that," Twilight said as she swam over next to me. She was doing very little to hide the amused smirk on her face.

"What can I say? The show never showed that side of her before," I replied.

Twilight laughed. "Well even so, haven't you ever heard that it's always the quiet ones you need to be wary of?" She casually dodged a random splash of water caused by Pinkie flailing around nearby. "And the noisy ones too, I guess." She regarded me for a moment, then said, "I really appreciate what you're doing. It's nice to be able to have a quiet bit of fun with my friends."

I knew when she said quiet she wasn't referring to noise levels, especially with Pinkie splashing around everywhere. I also had a feeling that Twilight wasn't the only Equestrian who knew that today was just meant to be a distraction, and that was okay.

Her words gave me an idea, though.

"Do ponies have a version of the game, Marco Polo?" I asked.

Minutes later, after explaining the rules to the girls, I found myself quietly tiptoeing through the pool in an effort to evade Fluttershy, who was blindfolded and heading right for me, arms outstretched.

"Marco?" she asked quietly. Crap, I was right in front of her!

"Polo," everyone called out. Despite Pinkie's voice being much, much louder than my own, Fluttershy still heard me and launched herself forward. I was easily caught, much to her delight.

"Damn," I muttered. I was usually quite good at the game, but I'd been defeated in just minutes. I took the blindfold from Fluttershy and put it on over my eyes. "Don't think I'll go easy on ya," I warned the girls as I stood in the middle of the pool and spun around in place. After a count of twenty, I stretched my hands out and slowly moved forward.

I almost expected the girls to giggle or splash and give away their positions, as was usually the case when I played Marco Polo. Thankfully, they were each quite adept at remaining silent. Even Pinkie, when she wanted to be, and I appreciated a good challenge. I usually didn't utter the titular "Marco" when I played, either, and this time wasn't an exception. I preferred to hunt the other players by the sounds they made alone.

I had a feeling someone was close behind me as I moved, so I made a bit of a show of lurching forward from time to time to put whoever was back there off-guard. An occasional giggle sprang up somewhere ahead of me after these performances, but they were quickly stifled back to silence. Using this to my advantage, I pretended to advance toward where I'd heard the laughter. A moment later, however, I turned around and lunged back the way I'd come. I heard a surprised gasp, unmistakably from Twilight. The next moment it was my turn to gasp as some kind of force impacted my body, and I was hurled backward through the water.

Before I could even begin to wonder about what had just happened, Fluttershy swam over and pulled the blindfold off me. "Oh my goodness, are you okay?" she asked. Pinkie was by her side a second later.

"Um... yeah," I said, and it was true. Other than a bit of shock, I was fine. "What even happened?"

"I'm so, so sorry," Twilight said quietly. I looked over to see that she was staring at her hands for some reason. "I didn't mean to, it just... happened."

"She totally blasted you!" Pinkie said, grinning. "You were heading straight toward me and Fluttershy, then all of a sudden you turned around and swam straight for Twilight, and she was all 'Oh no, I'm gonna get caught' and she totally sent this purple wave of energy at you!" She stopped to breathe for a second, then continued.

"Isn't this great? Twilight has her magic back!"

Prologue - Chaos Unleashed!

Prologue - Chaos Unleashed!

Pinkie Pie has always had a joyful personality. In her hometown of Ponyville, she had been considered the top choice for planning parties, and helping to bring a smile to the face of any pony that needed one. She even represented Laughter, one of the six Elements of Harmony - a group of magical relics that, when combined, could restore harmony to the land and defeat those who would disrupt it.

The land of Equestria could sometimes offer surprises, and trouble, for those who lived there. This had led Pinkie to have her fair share of adventures with her friends. Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy were the best friends she could have hoped for, and were always close at hand when adventure called. Together they had faced a dragon, dealt with an angry manticore, and even saved Equestria twice.

Her first instance of becoming a hero of Equestria had involved her part in helping to stop the wicked Nightmare Moon from covering the land in eternal night. This villainous alicorn was actually a corrupted version of Princess Luna, the sister of Equestria’s ruler - Princess Celestia. Long ago, Luna had come to envy the attention her sister had gained by raising the sun each day. She wished that the ponies of Equestria would show the moon, which she raised each night, the same admiration. Instead, they slept through the beautiful night that she had worked so carefully to create. The jealousy in her heart ultimately led to her transformation into Nightmare Moon, and her quest to bring about eternal night.

Princess Celestia had successfully defeated Nightmare Moon, however, and banished her to the moon for one thousand years. It was on the longest day of the thousandth year that Nightmare Moon escaped from her prison and returned, only to be defeated when Pinkie and her friends had wielded the Elements of Harmony against her.

The second instance involved the return of Discord. He was a draconequus, and this being of chaos had a body composed of a grotesque mismatch of body parts from various animals. While not necessarily evil, Discord relished in the unordinary. He had escaped the stony prison he had earned from a previous battle against the royal sisters, and had transformed Ponyville into a chaotic mockery of its former self. He was ultimately defeated by Pinkie and her friends, who had once again wielded the Elements of Harmony.

Pinkie wasn’t laughing or smiling now. She and her friends, along with both princesses, had rushed to the outskirts of Ponyville. Discord had once again managed to somehow get loose, and had wasted no time in hiding the Elements of Harmony and unleashing his chaotic magic upon Ponyville again. Homes and buildings had been twisted and distorted, and some were upside down. What had once been fields of tulips and daisies were now fields of lollipops. Overhead, the sky that was usually a brilliant shade of blue had become a pale, pink color. Flashes occasionally appeared overhead, illuminating the twisted form of Discord that stood before them. Pinkie frowned as his taloned claw tightened its grip on Princess Luna’s throat.

“Oh, now isn’t this so very delightful,” he crooned to Pinkie and others. “I do hope you didn’t really think that brute force could overcome my stunning wit and charm.”

Pinkie thought back to the events of a few moments ago. Celestia and Luna had arrived just before the other ponies did. With the Elements of Harmony out of play, it seemed the princesses had planned the alternate strategy of a united magical assault against Discord. The plan quickly fell apart when Luna, seeing all of her spells go haywire, lost her composure and rushed forward in an attempt to catch him off-guard. He was not fooled, and had easily caught the princess within his grasp.

Discord made a show of imitating a sad face. “Do my words not impress you? What about my latest interpretation of Ponyville, hm? Does it not scream chaos?” His face changed to an expression of boredom. “Very well then. I suppose I’ll just have to make things more interesting for you all,” he said as his right paw began to flare with pink chaotic magic. He quickly moved it towards Princess Luna.

Pinkie flinched and watched as Rainbow Dash quickly flew overhead towards Discord. Her eyes were still on her pegasus friend when a massive discharge of magical energy was released by Princess Luna at the same time that Discord used his chaos magic.

“Sister!” Princess Celestia yelled. Pinkie, who had still been watching Rainbow Dash, looked back to Discord and the princesses.

Her eyes grew wide as she saw a pink shockwave of magic expanding from where the two spells had collided. She saw that Princess Luna had been transformed into a filly and disappeared before her eyes.

“What? Oh for the love of... ” Discord screamed as he was also consumed by the magic and vanished.

Surprised at what she had just witnessed, Pinkie looked back to Rainbow Dash just in time to see the pegasus be overwhelmed by the shockwave. Her heart began to pound quickly against her chest as adrenaline took over. She thought she saw Applejack about to be consumed by the magic as well.

“Run, my little ponies!” Princess Celestia yelled.

Pinkie watched as Fluttershy took to the air and began to fly away, but was worried about Applejack and hesitated. She thought she had heard Applejack say something about horses and apples. She had just noticed that Twilight Sparkle was trying to cast some sort of shield spell when she heard Rarity yelling.

“You heard the princess, let’s get out of here!” Rarity called out.

“I... can’t stop it!” Twilight screamed as the wave of magic burst through her unfinished shield.

Pinkie felt as if she were being pulled in every direction at once. Part of her wanted to flee as quickly as she could, but another part of her wanted to stay and help her friends regardless of how hopeless the situation seemed. A nervous squeak helped to make up her mind.

Fluttershy had crashed hard to the ground. Pinkie was willing to bet that her friend’s wings had locked up in fright, as they usually did in stressful situations. She rushed to Fluttershy’s side and wrapped her front hooves around her shivering friend in an effort to protect her. They watched the oncoming wave of magic together with tears in their eyes. Pinkies last thought before the magic overwhelmed her and turned her world dark was I hope the others made it okay.

For it All to Come Together...

For it All to Come Together...
April 20th 2012

“What did you see?”

“Lots of things!”

“What kinds of things?”

“Hmm, let’s see. There were funny things, cute things, weird things, silly things, things I don’t really understand...”

I sighed and placed a hand on my forehead, then stood up from the chaise and paced the room. “You need to be specific, Pinkie,” I said, making sure I made eye contact with her. “Seriously, there are things on the internet that I would much rather you never see. Ever.”

Pinkie crossed her arms and leaned back on the chaise. Her eyes didn’t blink for nearly a full minute as she stared up at the ceiling in what I assumed to be deep thought. Finally, she leaned forward and placed her hands on her knees, apparently having reached a conclusion.

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t see any of those things,” she announced proudly.

As thrilling as it was to have Pinkie Pie, the honest-to-goodness real Pinkie Pie, sitting on my luxury couch right in front of me, it must be said that it very nearly did not make up for how mind-numbingly difficult it was to get a straight answer out of her. To make matters worse, she just sat there smiling at me as if she were certain that her answer was precisely what I had wanted to hear. The innocent, if completely oblivious, look on her face made it impossible to grow too impatient, however, and I tried again.

“I need to know,” I began slowly, “exactly what you saw online.” I decided to try a new tactic, but I’d have to be careful how I worded things. “Did you see any, uh, ponies?”

“Uh huh!” was Pinkie’s immediate reply. “All kinds of ponies! I saw me and all my friends, and even ponies I’ve never even seen before! Well, until now anyway. I’ve seen them now, but I hadn’t seen them up until now. Then. Not now, I mean back when I was online. Back then.” She scratched her head. “I guess maybe those ones are from the parts of Equestria I haven’t visited yet. Anyway, there were lots of ponies.” She placed her hands in her lap as she finished speaking and looked up at me expectantly once more.

Bloody brilliant.

“Okay, well...” I paused for a moment to think of how to continue. Obviously, she had been to pony sites. This wasn’t much of a surprise, seeing as I had a few saved to my favorites. It wouldn’t take much blind luck for someone new to computers to end up on a pony site using my machine. Add in the fact that this was Pinkie Pie and it really was no surprise at all. The problem was that while I didn’t have any... unsavory... sites saved in my favorites, it wouldn’t take too much floundering around to find yourself on one of them. I decided to just be blunt.

“Were any of them naked?” I asked.

It truly is amazing just how dirty and wrong it made me feel after asking something so innocent such a question. It didn’t help that she laughed at me.

“Oh Captain,” she managed through a fit of giggles. She stopped for a moment and met my eyes, held my gaze for a few seconds, then fell back onto the couch and lay there snickering at me once again. “Of course they were naked! Most of them anyway. Let’s see, I’d say maybe seventy... no, eighty percent of them were naked. Not a shred of clothing on them whatsoever, nope!”

“Jesus Christ, what sites have you been on!” I blurted. Pinkie just stared at me. A moment later I felt like an idiot as I realized why she had been laughing. Of course the ponies would be naked; they’re almost always naked. What I had meant was whether or not they had their premium services showing, but Pinkie wouldn’t have realized that. She didn’t seem to be bothered by my outburst though, as she simply answered my question.

“Well, there was Equestria Daily. Can you believe that the entire site is dedicated to us? I mean, to ponies? When you told me that most humans like ponies, I never even dreamed that they would like us that much.” She lifted her head up off the couch to look at me. “I think it’s kind of cute how you all seem to like us so much. Cute and just a teeny-tiny bit creepy. But mostly cute. Oh, and I just have to say, it’s totally amazing how many drawings of us there are, but a lot of you seem to get it all wrong.” She blinked at me. “Just saying.”

Equestria Daily wasn’t too bad, but I’d have to press harder. I walked over and sat on the corner of the chaise. “So what other sites were you on?”

Please for the love of all that is good, don’t say Fim...

“Facebook!” Pinkie exclaimed happily.

That was the other ‘F’ word I didn’t want to hear from her. I just didn’t realize it until she actually said it and made me nearly fall off the edge of the chaise.

“Facebook!?” I gasped.

“Uh huh! I saw the word at the top of the screen thingy and just had to check it out!” She sat up on the couch and made an exaggerated pouty-face. “But wouldn’t you know it, it has nothing to do with faces or books or facebooks. I mean, you can see faces on it, I even uploaded some pictures of mine to my account, but it isn’t just about faces!” The pout became a smile once more. “It’s a pretty neat site though.”

I wasn’t certain, but I thought that I had heard something about uploading photos and Pinkie having her own Facebook account. That couldn’t be what I heard, of course, because that required setting up an email account, a mildly complicated startup procedure to create the Facebook account, the ability to take pictures with a webcam and upload them onto the site, and more. Clearly, my hearing had betrayed me.

Pinkie simply continued to smile at me, bouncing gently on her seat. I was preparing to ask her to repeat herself when she spoke again.

“I have two thousand and seventy four friends already!” she squealed.

“You... what?” I was stunned and, try as I might, I couldn’t say anything beyond that.

Pinkie chuckled. “Well, that’s how many I had the other night. It could be way more by now, but I haven’t really had time to check.” She looked at me quizzically. “Is that how it works? You’re supposed to go to the site every day and make more friends? Because really, that has to be the best idea ever! This internet thing was clearly made with ponies like me in mind. People. Whatever.”

My initial thought was that having Pinkie on Facebook would ruin everything and expose the Equestrians to the world. I put that thought aside, however, as anyone friending her would certainly just think she’s an amazing cosplayer. My thoughts then wandered to something else.

“How,” I began, but had to stop and clear my throat. “How did you do that? How did you manage to make a Facebook account?”

Pinkie stopped chuckling and sat completely still. For all I knew, it was the only time in her life that she had done such a thing. She then stared at me with a blank look on her face as if she were completely lost in thought.

After a few moments of creepy silence, I said, “Forget it. I should have known better than to ask.” That seemed to do the trick, because her body and her facial expression immediately relaxed until she was once again bouncing on her seat. Almost afraid to continue, I asked, “What else have you seen online?”

The way Pinkie scooted closer to me and placed her hands on my shoulders, her face inches from my own, caught me entirely off-guard.

“Twitter. Is. Amazing,” she stated, staring into my soul. She continued before I could think of anything to say. “I can see what my friends are doing at all times. All times! I want, no, I need somepony to bring Twitter to Equestria whenever we get back.” She cocked her head slightly. “You’ll do it, right? You’ll bring it with you when you take us back.”

“I...”

“Oh, and I’ve been on YouTube, too,” she stated matter-of-factly, leaning back and finally giving me some room to breathe.

At that moment, Fluttershy walked into the room with Angel trailing close behind. The looks on their faces told me everything I needed to know.

“No luck?” I asked as Fluttershy sat down next to me and Angel took a seat on the floor. I had more I wanted to ask Pinkie, but for the moment this was more important.

Fluttershy sighed. “No,” she admitted sullenly. She looked down at Angel, who turned to face away from us and sulk. “I don’t know,” she said, looking back towards Pinkie and I. “I wish I could help him in some way, I really do. But I just don’t think he’ll ever be able to say anything more than... you know.”

The way Angel was acting, I knew that it wasn’t from a lack of effort on his part. It was quite obvious that it meant a lot to him, but it wasn’t something that was just going to happen overnight.

“I’ll have a go at teaching him later,” I said soberly. I then turned my attention back to Pinkie. “YouTube, huh?”

“Uh huh,” she acknowledged quickly. This was obviously a topic she wanted to talk about.

I braced myself. “Okay, what kind of videos did you watch?”

Pinkie took in a deep breath. “Oh my goodness, where do I even begin? Well, there was this one guy named PewDiePie, which is totally great because it sounds almost like Pinkie Pie, which is what I typed in the little search thingy. Anyway, his named popped up and I just had to check him out. Guess what? He totally almost called me a brony! Well, he called me a bro, which is kind of like brony but without the ‘n-y.’ He’s really silly! But all he does is play video games. I mean really, it was kind of pointless of me to watch the video.” She finally paused briefly to take another breath. I honestly had no idea who she was talking about. “Then again, I ended up watching four more of his videos. I still don’t know why.

“Anyway, there were so many videos with ponies! I know, because I typed in the word ‘ponies’ and presto! Hundreds, no, thousands of videos with ponies popped up. I saw me and all my friends again, and a lot of the videos showed things that happened to us in the past, just like that one you showed us a while ago!” She paused again for breath and tapped her chin. “Then again, some of the things they showed were all wrong, but that’s not really important. It was really nice to see a few almost-accurate-but-not-really-totally-accurate-because-some-of-the-details-are-completely-wrong videos of some of the things me and my friends did together.” With that said, she finally leaned back on the chaise with a sigh.

It was a lot to process, but it seemed like she hadn’t seen anything too damning. If she stuck to just the episodes of the show she would have been just fine, even if she read the comments. While some brony videos could have pretty bad comment wars on them, the episodes themselves were usually pretty tame in comparison. I was preparing to breathe a sigh of relief when she suddenly spoke again.

“Cats!” she exclaimed, sitting forward on the chaise again. “I watched cat videos, too. Lots of them.” She looked over at me as if to verify that it was okay to watch them. “I probably watched a few... dozen? At least thirty, but maybe as many as forty five. No more than fifty, probably. I just... I couldn’t stop! I mean, we have cats in Equestria, but you guys seem to have gotten all the most adorably cute ones! They were all running around and jumping at shadows, wrestling with each other, playing with wires and string. I clicked on one and, before I knew it, it was several hours later and I had watched nothing but cat videos.”

The brief moment of jealousy that flashed upon Fluttershy’s face went unnoticed by Pinkie, but I certainly saw it. I decided it was probably time to call it a night.

“Okay,” I said, standing up. “So nothing else?”

Pinkie looked up at the ceiling in thought. “Hmm... nope, nothing else. I’m absolutely sure that I didn’t see anything else on the internet.”

I wasn’t sure I liked the way she finished that statement, but if she’d seen anything else, the damage was already done. I decided to hope for the best and leave it at that as I helped Angel and the girls get ready for bed. The next few days were going to be quite busy as we prepared to make arrangements to bring John and the Cutie Mark Crusaders to Sydney, and we’d all need a good night’s rest.

The next morning was just another in what was fast becoming a daily ritual for us all as we sat around the table having breakfast. I decided to let the Equestrians try some Uncle Toby’s Sports Plus cereal this time, which was met with enthusiastic approval from each of them as they consumed the tasty mixture of flakes, corn puffs, apple bits, and sultanas.

After a while had passed and we were nearly finished eating, I couldn’t help but notice that Fluttershy kept looking off in the distance, as if she were thinking of something else.

“What’s up, Fluttercup?” I asked.

“Hm?” Fluttershy asked, looking around and suddenly becoming aware of her surroundings. “Flutter... who? Do you mean me?”

“Uh huh. I just used a nickname, that’s all,” I explained. “You don’t mind, do you? It rhymed, you see. My attempt at humor.” The way Fluttershy’s face wasn’t registering, I knew it was futile. “Nevermind. What’s bothering you?” I asked instead.

“Oh, it’s nothing...” she responded.

Here we go.

“No, really. What’s going on? I’d like to know,” I said, hopefully in a reassuring manner.

“Yeah! Tell us all about it, Fluttershy!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I bet this is gonna be good.” She noticed my glare. “What?”

Fluttershy leaned forward and rested her cheeks in her hands. “I was just thinking about flying around with Rainbow Dash, actually,” she revealed. A little smile appeared on her face as she continued. “I’ve never really been great at flying...” Her cheeks reddened a little. “Actually, I’ve never even been good at flying, and I much prefer to be on the ground. But recently, Rainbow Dash had been giving me lessons here and there, and I admit that it does feel good to feel the wind beneath my wings sometimes...” She closed her eyes and gave a small sigh, then opened them and looked at me. “I wonder where she is and how she’s doing?”

I leaned back in my chair and chewed on my spoon for a moment. “I suppose she could be just about anywhere,” I admitted. “I know one thing, I feel sorry for the poor bloke or lass that ends up finding her.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Why would you say that?” she asked.

“And what’s a bloke?” Pinkie chipped in. “Is that like blue Coke?”

“No, it’s... nevermind. I’m sure she’s doing fine,” I grunted.

Fluttershy’s smile disappeared, however, and was replaced with a frown of concern. “I don’t know,” she said. “We found the princess and the fillies pretty quickly. It’s been a whole week since we arrived here, and we’ve heard nothing from the others. What if they’re in danger?”

It was always a possibility, but I wasn’t about to tell that to Fluttershy of all ponies. In reality, I thought, unless the others appeared in some remote part of the planet where nobody lived, odds were they would eventually be found by someone. It was immediately following that thought that I had another, sobering thought.

Seventy percent of Earth is covered in water.

“They’re probably just fine!” I repeated in what was probably far too loud a voice, if the looks the others gave me was any indication. “Um, well... Rainbow Dash and Applejack are tough, right?” I was thinking on my feet here. “They can handle themselves. Twilight’s really smart, so she can think of something. Luna is a bloody princess, so that has to count for something. Rarity... well, Rarity can... whine?”

Surprisingly, that seemed to calm their fears. That is, until the door buzzer issued its ear-shattering buzz, causing Fluttershy to jump in fear at it once again.

“That’s just the door, no need to worry!” I announced as I stood up to go see who it was. Fluttershy nodded absently as Angel gave her hand a little pat.

I reached the intercom and spoke into the microphone. “Who is it?” I asked.

The thick accent of my good friend Moey answered. “It is I, the savior of your heathen soul, come to bless you with the gift of true knowledge of all that exists in the universe and beyond,” he said. “Oh, and I have your damned passports, too.”

“Holy hell, already!?” I blurted through the intercom.

“My friend, what is this nonsense you speak of?” he asked. “First you Christians tell me that Hell is a terrible place, and now you tell me it is holy? Well, which is it?”

I buzzed him in and opened the door to greet him. One of my neighbors was passing by in the hall, and was greeted by Moey, who was holding a blue folder which I assumed held the documents.

“Oh, hello there!” he said to the young lady, who I think is named Phan, as he passed her. “Don’t mind me dear, I am clearly not here on any business that could be deemed unsavory or immoral in any way. It is only with the purest intentions that I visit your friendly neighbor, though I can not say whether the same can be said for him.”

My neighbor gave me a strange look, to which I could only shrug in reply. Moey’s humor wasn’t always easy to explain. She rolled her eyes and moved on, and I quickly ushered my friend inside.

“It’s great to see you so soon!” I said as I led him into the kitchen. “How did you do it? I only sent you the photos last night.”

Moey stopped in his tracks and put a hand on my shoulder. “My friend, surely you can not believe that I would waste any time for one such as you, even if the work was for far less gain than I would prefer.” He set the folder down on the table. “I have slaved away, working my poor, innocent hands to the bone night and day until the job was complete. The only things missing were the photographs themselves, yes? It was a simple matter to add them once they arrived.” He looked over at Pinkie and Fluttershy. “And I see that my good friend has the beauties over once again! My deepest pleasure,” he added with a mock bow.

I took a look at the passports and was blown away. I had seen Moey’s work in the past, but it never ceased to amaze me at how accurate it was. I wasn’t an expert, but I’d certainly be fooled if someone showed them to me. I also should have known better than to ask him how he did it, as ‘secret Islamic magic’ was probably the best explanation I would ever get out of him.

“Well,” I said, somewhat at a loss for words. “Have you had breakfast?” I asked him. “We have Uncle Toby’s.”

Moey scrutinized the cereal box on the table. “It is poison, yes?” he stated, then shook his head. “No, my friend. I can not stay and partake in your villainous breaking of the fast, no matter how lovely the current company is,” he said, eyeing the girls. “I will take my leave and wish for your day to be mildly pleasant at the very least.”

“Bye Moey!” Pinkie said with a wave. Fluttershy meekly added a wave as well, but cringed backwards when he smiled at her. Angel simply frowned at him.

“Was the demon-child here when last I visited?” Moey asked in a whisper as I escorted him through the living room to the front door. “Can such a thing be the spawn of one of those lovely things in the kitchen?”

“No, mate. He’s not one of their kids,” I said. Moey’s face brightened suddenly, but I dashed his hopes. “Don’t get any ideas. They’re both taken.”

“Ah, I must wonder why they are here with you if they have someone to keep them warm in bed already. Especially since you...” he began, but I cut him off.

“It’s not like that, Moey,” I stated firmly.

“Whatever you say, my friend,” he said as he walked out the door. “Whatever you say. By the way, I have taken care of holiday visas for your little friends. Make sure you ship whatever credit card you use to buy their airline tickets along with the papers. They will need it at the airport.”

“Thanks, Moey," I said. I closed the door with a grunt and sighed. My mood brightened, however, when I realized that there was nothing left to get in the way of getting the papers sent to John and the crusaders. I quickly went to the kitchen to tell the Equestrians to get ready to go out.

The rest of the day was spent sorting out all the paperwork and purchasing of airline tickets. I managed to get one adult and three children’s tickets through Quantas airlines for six thousand, eight hundred dollars, departing on the 24th from San Francisco with a stop in L.A. before a fifteen hour flight to Sydney. Thanks to the magic of time zones, they would be arriving on the 25th. It was a small blow to my bank account, but I’d survive.

When we were finished with that, we were pleasantly surprised to find an email from John that listed an address in Arizona which I was to ship the passports and tickets to. It was as if everything was finally coming together, as having that information allowed me just enough time to drive us all to the post office before it closed. I was able to ship everything overnight, meaning that John would have everything some time the next evening, giving him plenty of time to prepare.

As I drove the Equestrians back to my apartment, I was feeling luckier than ever. From Moey’s fast and efficient work, to being financially blessed enough to be able to handle the cost of airline tickets easily, to finding four tickets mere days before the flight was due to leave, and getting the email from John that gave us just enough time to get to the post office and ship the package overnight. Everything was going my way, and I had a feeling it was going to continue that way.

When we got home, I opened the door and immediately turned the computer back on. After a few clicks, I had navigated to my mail service.

Sure enough, there was another email for me. This time, from DragonLS.

I felt like Charlie opening up the candy bar containing the Golden Ticket; I somehow knew something good was about to happen.

I opened the email and took a quick glance. My heart skipped a beat in excitement. I hadn’t just found the Golden Ticket - I had been handed the keys to the chocolate factory.

“Angel, girls!” I called to the others, who were busy taking off their shoes in the other room. “You’ll want to come see this. We’ve found Applejack and Rainbow Dash!”

...Everything Must First Be Lost

...Everything Must First Be Lost
April 22nd 2012

Two birds with one stone. Or, in this case, two ponies with one email.

I tossed and turned uncomfortably in my sleeping bag. Despite it being very late, I was still wide awake with the events of the previous day swimming relentlessly through my mind. Trying to fall asleep had proven to be futile, so I had given up. Instead, I thought back to the email I had received.

Assuming that DragonLS hadn’t been pranked, it appeared that Applejack was in the hands of someone he had met online by the name of Garrett_Houser. This Garrett bloke apparently had been in contact with someone named The Silverness, who was the current companion of Rainbow Dash, if Garrett was to be believed.

Obviously, there was always the chance that it was a hoax. Messing with people’s emotions online wasn’t exactly a new talent, but I had a feeling these people were the real deal. Especially since Dragon’s email pointed out that he had met Garrett in none other than the pony fiction site’s IRC - the same IRC in which I’d discovered every other person I knew of who had found a pony.

The email hadn’t said anything about their locations, only that DragonLS had found the two ponies and that he had been in some sort of fight at a club. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how Princess Celestia, a ruler of an entire kingdom who was at least a thousand years old, would have reacted to that. I’d have to remember to ask about it later when I responded to the email. The Equestrians and I had been so excited to hear the news about Applejack and Rainbow Dash that Pinkie had thrown a party on the spot, so there hadn’t been time to respond. I didn’t mind, though; I considered finding the two ponies to be an early gift.

Rolling over, I stared at the wall clock, which read half-past midnight. I sighed gently, rolled back over, and closed my eyes.

Happy birthday, old man, I thought to myself as sleep finally began to overtake me.

I was awoken not by sound, as had been the case of the previous few mornings, but by smell. I slowly opened my eyes, but was immediately forced to shut them as they began to sting and water. It only took a split-second for my mind to register what had woken me up: smoke.

Alarmed, I sat bolt-upright and quickly found the source of the smoke - my kitchen. Thankfully, it wasn’t on fire. It seemed that my breakfast had been, however, as Fluttershy appeared in the doorway. She was wearing long, pink silk pyjamas and brandishing a plate of blackened... something.

“Oh good, you’re awake!” she beamed, holding the plate out to me. “Pinkie and I thought it might be nice for us to make you breakfast for once. I hope you don’t mind.” She looked down at the plate as I took it from her. “Um, it might not be quite how you like it. I’ve never really cooked anything other than soup before - I usually just make salads, but Pinkie assured me I did a great job.” The last sentence was emphasised with a bashful smile.

Upon inspection, it seemed that my breakfast had once been bacon, eggs, and possibly a bit of... hash brown? I wasn’t certain, as most of it seemed to have somehow melded together.

Pinkie emerged from the kitchen at that point and met my eye. She moved in close and pointed at the plate.

“Wow, Fluttershy sure did a great job,” she observed, leaning in very close. “Isn’t that right, Douglas?” The last sentence was said with a terrifying combination of extremely sweet voice mixed with an outright glare that seemed to dare me to disagree.

“Too right,” I said, knowing not to argue. I emphasized the point by grabbing the fork and shovelling some of the ‘food’ into my mouth.The taste of greasy ash and charcoal threatened to make my face scrunch up like a pony’s, but I summoned every ounce of manhood I possessed and managed to not only keep from grimacing, but to also swallow with a polite smile. “It’s...” I began, but had to swallow again before continuing. “It’s good.” My voice rose to an unnaturally high pitch on the last word.

Fluttershy’s aqua eyes absolutely sparkled with joy. She hopped in place excitedly for a moment, then said, “I’ll go get plates for the others!” and disappeared back into the kitchen.

I glanced up quickly at Pinkie with a look of concern on my face, then shook my head slowly, pleading. She responded with another glare and pointed at the plate. I raised my eyebrows and mouthed “No,” but she wouldn’t relent.

It was a complete mystery how Fluttershy could make such amazing looking salads in the show and yet completely destroy bacon and eggs. Perhaps she was still getting used to hands, or maybe she was just hopeless with fire. Whatever it was, it did not bode well for me as she returned with plates of what were probably once eggs and hash browns for Pinkie and herself. Angel, on the other hand, would probably be safe with yet another salad. Bloody rabbit.

“So, what’s the plan for today, captain?” Pinkie asked as we sat down at the table. Clever girl, that Pinkie. The more talking we did, the less time we had for eating.

“Well,” I said, putting down the fork that had very nearly made it to my mouth, “I was actually planning on relaxing today. We have the Crusaders arriving in a few days, and we know that Princess Celestia is safe. Rainbow Dash and Applejack seem to be taken care of, so that just leaves Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and Princess Luna.”

“And Discord,” Pinkie added just in time to avoid eating. My stomach began to feel quite ill and it wasn’t just because of the smell of smoke.

“Don’t remind me about him,” I said. While we would eventually need to deal with him, I much preferred the idea of doing it after we reunited all of the ponies.

“It’s awful,” Fluttershy said, staring down at the table.

I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s not so bad. We’ve found most of your friends, and we’ll take care of Discord as soon as...”

“No,” she interrupted and motioned toward her plate. “This food is just awful.” She sighed. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m not very good at making this.” She picked up her plate and looked over to me. “At least you seem to like it. Would you like the rest of mine?”

“Umm....”

“IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!?” Pinkie suddenly exclaimed, jumping up onto the table and scattering its contents everywhere. I would find out later that this was intentional. “Why didn’t you say so!?”

I took a moment to get my heart settled back down. “Get off the table, Pinkie,” I said, helping her down. “And how did you find out about my birthday? Are you getting your Pinkie Sense back or something?”

Pinkie giggled and hopped over to the fridge, where she pointed at something. “It’s written down on your calendar right here. That’s what this thing is, right? We have them back home, except some of the names are different.” She pointed to April 22nd. “And all the dates are crossed off up until this one, and it says ‘Doug’s Birthday’ on it right there.”

I shrugged. “Well, I was supposed to be relaxing after a week of camping today. I guess I didn’t really have anything planned, since the camping trip was an early birthday gift.” I looked at the girls. “Besides, more important things have come up.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened. “Nothing is more important than celebrating somepony’s birthday!”

This was a pony who had helped to save Equestria on multiple occasions, faced down dragons and the spirit of chaos, and was now trapped on a different world in a body that wasn’t hers. Somehow, my birthday had become the most important thing to her at that moment and, somehow, I wasn’t all that surprised. I looked up and saw Pinkie staring at me expectantly, then rolled my eyes.

“Fine. We can have another party.”

Evening had rolled around by the time the party finally started to die down. The entire day had been a blur of food, laughter and fun as Pinkie set up a fantastic assortment of games and activities for us all to engage in.

The fun had been topped off with the viewing of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic season finale, which consisted of two episodes and happened to be released that very day. I had managed to find a good 1080p version of it on YouTube, and we’d sat on the chaise and discussed the events as they occurred on-screen. The credits were rolling now, and we eagerly discussed what we had seen, minus Angel who had left to pick up some more Coke from the petrol station across the street from my apartment.

Of particular interest was the villain who had been introduced. I held up the strange toy that had been left at the Burrinjuck park bathroom by ‘F.A.’ so that the girls could see.

“So this is Chrysalis,” I said, examining the figure. “I had completely forgotten all about this little toy until I saw her in the episode.” I leaned over and handed it to Pinkie. “I think this was meant for you.”

Pinkie took the figure and set it down next to the Mane Six toys I had bought for her. “Who did you get this from?” she asked. “I don’t think we’ve been to a toy store recently...”

I pondered the question. I still had no idea who F.A. was, or why this person would have a toy of a character that hadn’t even been revealed yet.

“I honestly don’t know,” I admitted.

“Okie dokie,” Pinkie said, seemingly satisfied. She looked over at Fluttershy and gasped. “What’s wrong, Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy had been strangely quiet during the episodes, much more so than usual. She was now pale, clutching a pillow, and visibly shaking.

“Christ, you alright?” I asked, standing up and moving to sit beside her. “What’s wrong?”

Fluttershy turned to face me and I saw that her eyes were brimming with tears.

“Sh-she’s n-not like that at all...” she whimpered, her eyes darting back and forth wildly. Her breathing was short and rapid, and she jumped back suddenly when I put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, hey...” I said quietly. “It’s alright, nothing here is going to hurt you.” I looked over at Pinkie hoping that she knew what was going on, but her attention was on Fluttershy.

“She did though,” Fluttershy whispered. “She hurt me... she hurt the others.” She looked up me, her pupils wide, “It was horrible...”

I looked back to Pinkie, whose eyes seemed to be looking at something distant. A moment later, she seemed to snap out of it and smiled gently at Fluttershy.

“There, there. All of that is in the past, and besides - we won in the end, didn’t we?” Pinkie put a hand on Fluttershy’s knee. “Cadance and Shining Armor used that amazing love shield spell-thingy of theirs and knocked that mean old Chrysalis right out of Equestria, along with all her little changeling minions. They won’t be messing with us again and besides, we’re supposed to be having fun right now. It is a birthday party, after all!”

Fluttershy sighed again and looked away. “I know, it’s just...” She didn’t finish, but continued to stare at the floor.

Pinkie suddenly hopped off the couch and sat on the floor in front of Fluttershy. “Hey, remember when that changeling did that terrible impression of me and I bucked it through a fence?” she asked.

Fluttershy nodded absently. Pinkie leaned in closer.

“Do you remember the look on its face, how it’s tongue was kind of hanging out of its mouth and its eyes were all wibbly-wobbly?” Pinkie continued. “And then there was Applejack! Remember how she jumped onto one of the changelings and rode it around the palace courtyard like she was in a rodeo?”

Fluttershy gave a little smile at that.

“Wasn’t it funny when Chrysalis suddenly realized what was about to happen to her?” Pinkie was on a roll now. “Remember that silly look that she made right before she got blasted out of Equestria?”

That got a small giggle out of Fluttershy. Pinkie crouched on the floor like a cat preparing to go in for the kill.

“And then there was that changeling that tried to pounce on you, but you totally ducked just in time and it went sailing over your head and into the fountain! Remember that?”

“Um, yeah...”

“PINKIE IS FASTER THAN CHANGELINGS!” Pinkie screamed as she pounced directly onto Fluttershy, whose scream of terror soon melted into a fit of giggles once she realized she was safe.

I couldn’t help but laugh. The look on Fluttershy’s face had been spot-on to what she looked like in the show when she was frightened. Pinkie looked over at me and narrowed her eyes.

“Are you laughing at my friend?” she asked.

“Me?” I asked dumbly. “It’s not like tha...”

“PINKIE AVENGES HER FRIENDS!” she yelled as she suddenly changed position and pounced on top of me, pinning me to the chaise and giggling hysterically.

My breath was knocked out of me, and I had a difficult time getting it back because I was trying to laugh as well. Never in my life would I have imagined that I’d be pounced on by Pinkie Pie, or that she’d utter such a ridiculous phrase as she did it. I kept trying to get up, but Pinkie was staring at me with a silly grin on her face that just ended up making me laugh more.

There was so much laughter, in fact, that I never heard the footsteps ascending the stairs outside my apartment. I did, however, notice the distinct rattle of keys just outside my door.

I didn’t give Angel my keys...

I leaned forward just in time to see the door slowly swing open. Standing in my doorway was a gorgeous woman with long brown hair and grey eyes. She was wearing a long black skirt with a black and white striped top, and in her hands was an Applejack plush toy and a balloon with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ on it.

Her name was Victoria, and we had been married for ten years.

“Oh hello, care to join us?” Pinkie beamed from her spot atop of me. “The fun’s only just starting!”

Victoria took a hesitant step inside the apartment and her eyes met mine, where they lingered for a moment before looking at first Pinkie, and then Fluttershy, both of whom were still clad only in pyjamas.

“What...” she began to ask, her throat tight. She looked all around the apartment, then back to Pinkie, and finally settled her gaze back upon me again. The plush Applejack fell to the floor as her hand moved up to cover her mouth. I could see her tears forming from across the room.

Victoria was supposed to be in Cairo with her mother, and wasn’t due back for another two months. It had been my hope that I could get the Equestrians back to their home before she returned, but that hope - along with many others - had just been crushed. She apparently had meant to surprise me by coming back home on my birthday. Mission accomplished.

It was a no-win situation. I knew damn well what the situation looked like, with a half-dressed Pinkie practically straddling me on the chaise and a barely-dressed Fluttershy sitting nearby. I also knew that there was absolutely no hope of Victoria believing the truth. My wife was the kind of person who would require further study even if Pinkie suddenly jumped up and clung to the ceiling, though a part of me was hoping that Pinkie would do just that.

The truth wouldn’t set me free in this case, which meant I would have to think of a lie. But if I stopped to think of a lie, it would seem as if...

“No,” Victoria said quietly. She repeated with some more force, shaking her head. “No, don’t you dare sit there trying to think up some kind of excuse for this.” Her voice was shaking and angry as tears ran down her face. “In fact, don’t even say anything. Just get your things and get out. Now!” The last word was emphasized by the removal of her wedding band, which was hurled in my direction and landed on the floor.

My heart pounded against my chest and I closed my eyes, fighting to keep them dry. The worst thing about it all was that there truly was nothing that I could say. Every situation that I could think of that played through my head all had the same result. I clenched my teeth for a moment, took two unsteady breaths, and addressed the girls.

“Get your things. We need to leave,” I whispered.

Fluttershy, who had been cheered up only moments ago, was in tears once more.

“But... what did I do?” she asked, but I held up a hand and shook my head. She stood up and disappeared quickly into the bedroom to get their meagre belongings.

Pinkie crawled off of me and stood up, looking back and forth between my wife and I. Though I tried to silently warn her, she spoke anyway.

“You know, I think you’d look a lot happier if you had just joined us,” she said to Victoria with a hopeful grin.

“Get out of my apartment right now you bitch,” Victoria responded, her face still streaked with tears.

Pinkie gasped, clearly shocked. I had to struggle to remain quiet. Every part of me wanted to defend Pinkie and clear up what was a horrible misunderstanding, but I knew that if I said anything at that moment I would never get a chance to make things right again. It was the only bit of hope that I could hold onto, that someday I might be able to come back to my wife.

Fluttershy returned with the clothes packed into a small suitcase. My wife eyed the suitcase curiously, but remained silent. With nothing left for us there, I bent down and picked up my wife’s wedding band, which I put into my pocket. I then made my way to the door with Pinkie and Fluttershy in tow.

I let the girls out and stopped at the doorway. I wanted to say something. Someday you’ll understand or It’s not what you think. I wanted to reach out and sweep my wife up into a warm embrace. To kiss her.

But none of that happened. I looked into my wife’s eyes and held her gaze for a long moment, then turned around and walked out of my apartment for the last time.

The Equestrians Have Been Doubled!

The Equestrians Have Been Doubled!
April 25, 2012

The morning of the 25th was the first time in as long as I could remember that I woke up feeling as if I had gotten enough sleep. My eyes opened slowly when I felt the heat of the sun warming my cheek as sunlight streamed through the tent and upon me. In the room next to mine I saw Pinkie and Fluttershy still asleep. The latter had a small, almost peaceful looking smile on her face as she slept, and I knew things were going to be different with her from here on out. A bit further away in the third room within the tent, Angel was also fully unconscious.

Knowing that this may have been the last chance we had at having a solid night’s sleep, what with three children due to arrive that very day, I used extra care as I got up and exited the tent so as not to wake them up.

The day that greeted me as I stepped outside was bright and cloudless, with only a small amount of wind. I was glad that, despite it being late Autumn in Australia, it was only a little chilly out and would likely warm up significantly around noon. It seemed like the perfect kind of day to greet John and the Cutie Mark Crusaders at the airport.

Or it would have been if not for the fact that the normally noisy Australian wildlife was suddenly silent, and the leaves in the trees seemed to slow their gentle swaying and came to a complete stop. While this was a somewhat odd occurrence, it wasn’t in itself enough to cause any great amount of concern.

The strange man waiting outside my tent was, however.

Nearly as tall as I am and shrouded in a tasteless hooded robe patterned much like one of those Hawaiian shirts that Yanks like to wear while visiting the country, the man was leaning against a tree and examining an apple. Holding his robe in place was a silver clasp fashioned into the letters F and A. The man didn’t bother to look up when I appeared from within the tent.

“Hello again, Doug,” the man greeted me from where he stood.

Again? Was this Discord in disguise?

“And before you say anything,” the man continued, “you’d think that one of these times you’d actually notice my initials and think things through before jumping to conclusions.” Though his face was almost entirely obscured by his hood, I could almost feel him grin. “Besides, Discord is currently sleeping off a week’s worth of chaos. He won’t be bothering you any time soon.”

The man’s words and attitude suggested that we had met before, but I didn’t recognize him at all. He also seemed to know what I was thinking. I thought about what he had said about his initials and looked at the robe’s clasp again. F.A. Was this the man who had...

“Yes, I left the note. And the toy with the cupcake. I trust you gave it to Pinkie already, so if there aren’t any more pointless questions floating around in your skull I assume we can just get on with this?” he asked impatiently.

Though I didn’t understand what was going on, I did understand the concept of getting to the point. I assumed my questions would be answered soon enough, and didn’t feel as if there was any immediate danger to the Equestrians. This guy knew about Pinkie Pie somehow, so it was best to just hear him out and go from there. I wasn’t in any position to try to subdue him if he turned out to be dangerous since, if he could read minds, he’d just predict my every move.

“Okay,” I said with a shrug. “Let’s get on with it, then.”

“I’d put that bow down if I were you, Doug,” the man growled without looking up.

I blinked. “I... don’t have my bow.” What was he going on about and how did he know about my bow? For whatever reason, my words seemed to get his attention.

“What?” he asked suddenly, looking up. I still couldn’t see his face but I could make out his mouth and stubbled jaw. “Oh... you are polite this time around. I see.” He half-smiled. “What changed this time, I wonder...”

“I don’t know how you know about my bow, but it would do no good to wake the girls up by trying to fight someone simply because he knows a few things about me.” It was the sad truth of the matter. There was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that this man either truly was Discord and was simply playing mind games with me, or he was someone who could become just as dangerous as the draconequus. As such, the only thing I had any small amount of control over was keeping the Equestrians asleep. Or I thought I had, anyway.

“Oh Piiiinkie! Pinkie Pie!” the man yelled. “There’s a party going on out here and we need cupcakes right now!” He grinned that god-awful grin of his again when I flinched slightly from the sudden noise. The last thing I wanted was Pinkie to wake up, and any moment she’d be rushing outside the tent and find that there was not, in fact, any party going on.

... or maybe not?

“Oh, are you wondering why Pinkie hasn’t come bursting through the tent at the mention of a little fun?” the man asked. I hadn’t noticed him put on a party hat but there one was, sitting atop his hood. “Not that it’s going to matter in a moment, but I’ll humor you. Again.” The man bent down and picked up a small rock, then opened his hand and allowed it to drop to the ground.

Only, it didn’t. It remained suspended in mid-air.

“Since I’m really not in the mood to wait for you to comprehend what has happened again,” he continued, “I’ll explain. Time has stopped for all but you and I. No, I’m not going to explain why or how. I grew weary of that after finding out that bringing Angel here didn’t work out as well as I’d hoped.” Before I knew it, he was on me, his hooded face mere inches from my own and his voice like gravel. “So what I’m going to do is have a look inside that tent, find out that Fluttershy is missing once again and then I’m going to enjoy myself as much as I can as I reset you.”

I didn’t like the way the man said reset, and had the sudden feeling that I wasn’t going to enjoy finding out what it meant. Something else he had said stood out, however.

“Fluttershy isn’t missing,” I revealed just as the man peered into the tent.

The man backed out of the tent and was silent for a moment, as if he were lost in thought. Finally, he said, “So she isn’t gone this time...” He seemed to drift off again, but then surprised me by doing a sudden fist pump. He turned to face me. “Well then,” he mused. “I guess we can forget about resetting you... for now.”

The man then withdrew some kind of small notepad from somewhere in his robes and ticked something off, muttering something that sounded like ‘Now to deal with the dragon.’ He looked up and, for once, his smile was almost pleasant. “Keep Pinkie happy, will you? Oh, and do try and not forget about Ashton,” he said. “Right in the face, as soon as you see him.” With those last tidbits of advice, he loudly clapped his hands and my vision went white before I blacked out.

When I next opened my eyes, I was in my tent with the light of the sun streaming through it and warming my face. I had to blink to clear my vision; had I been dreaming? I was certain that I had been until I rolled over and spied a small rock that had been left on the pillow beside me.

“So what’s an airport like?” Pinkie asked as the car moved slowly through the woods.

We had quickly packed up the tent and all our supplies and carried them back to the car. I didn’t tell the Equestrians about F.A. Not because I felt like I needed to hide anything from them, but because I had a strong feeling that they weren’t meant to know about it. That perhaps something terrible might occur if I were to say anything about it to them. I had never been superstitious before, but the feeling was strong enough that I decided to let it be. For now.

“It’s a surprise,” I replied. It was better than trying to explain flight without wings and I knew what her response would be.

“Oooh! I love surprises!” Right on cue.

The mud and grass eventually gave way to the dirt road that would lead us back north to Bundeena where we could get back onto a paved road and eventually take Princes Highway all the way to the airport. I had regularly picked up my mother-in-law from the international terminal the many times she had returned to Sydney from her overseas trips, so I was a bit of a pro at navigating the traffic and knew the best places to park. If all went well, finding John and the girls as they exited the airport would be easy. The only problem was that I had no idea what John looked like, and since both Sweetie and Scootaloo had dyed their hair, I’d have to rely on finding Apple Bloom.

“I think the girls will like you,” Fluttershy predicted from the back seat. “I have a feeling that you’ll do well around children.”

Her demeanor was sweet, gentle and kind, as it usually was when she was happy. I looked at her through the rear-view mirror and noticed that her face showed none of the signs of stress and worry that had once been there. The events of the previous night had ignited something within her, a kind of courage or confidence that had been lacking before. While she was still quiet and probably still quite shy, I was certain from then onwards that she wouldn't allow herself to break down again.

“Probably not as well as you do,” I responded. The flushing of her cheeks confirmed that she was indeed still quite shy. “I’ve seen episodes with you and the Crusaders. They completely adore you.”

The former pegasus remained silent but I noticed the small smile that had crept onto her lips. After nearly two weeks of being separated from everything they knew and loved, the Equestrians were finally going to be reunited with three more of their friends. Whether it was fate or sheer blind luck, I was thankful that I had found the Cutie Mark Crusaders relatively quickly and that they had been taken in by a decent individual. A pony like Applejack or Twilight Sparkle could probably handle being alone for a little while, but having the Crusaders wandering Earth scared and alone would have been awful. Even with the three of them together, they still probably wouldn’t have lasted long without intervention.

I took a moment to think about our next move as we drew closer to the airport and to the Crusaders. DragonLS had found Princess Celestia and it was crucial that she regain her magic. She and Princess Luna were probably the only two with magic powerful enough to get the Equestrians back home, but Luna was still missing in action along with Twilight Sparkle and Rarity. If my theory that friendship truly does make magic was correct, then we would need to bring every pony together in order for the princesses to regain their powers.

While the locations of Luna, Twilight and Rarity were unknown, Dragon’s email had said that Applejack and Rainbow Dash had both been found. I couldn’t remember if the email stated whether they were both in the US or not, but if they were then the next logical step would be to unite Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Princess Celestia. Perhaps then the princess would regain a bit of her power and maybe cast some kind of tracking spell to find the others. We’d still have the problem of having groups of ponies on two or more separate continents, but maybe we’d get lucky and we could unite one of the princesses with enough Equestrians for them to cast a teleport spell.

That was a lot of maybes, and none of it would work if I was wrong about the magic.

I cleared my head and focused on the drive to the airport. One thing at a time, I thought. One thing at a time.

Our arrival at the airport went almost exactly as I thought it would. The Equestrians all stared out their car windows and gawked at the massive planes that were either arriving or taking off regularly. The only things missing were the questions I had expected to hear concerning the giant flying mechanical things. Perhaps the Equestrians had seen one flying overhead before and figured out what they were, or maybe they had simply seen enough strange things by then that they knew any questions they had about them would be answered soon enough anyway. Thinking back on it, I realized that the ponies used hot air balloons and airships, so an airplane might not have been that much of a big deal.

Whatever the reason, they were speechless.

It hadn’t taken long for me to navigate the airport and find a parking spot that had a good view of the doors that John and the girls would have to go through. Being that it was a Wednesday, there weren’t as many people bustling about as there would have been on a weekend for which I was thankful. Once we were settled, it simply became a matter of waiting to spot Apple Bloom.

“Is that her!?” Pinkie shouted almost immediately, hopping up and down in her seat and pointing towards some random little girl. She frowned and said, “Hmm. No, that can’t be her. That girl is blonde. Oooh! Is that her? Oh, no... that’s actually a boy, I think. Hmm...”

Roughly twenty minutes of increasingly disturbing guesses as to who Apple Bloom might be, including a long-haired dwarf wearing shades, Pinkie finally managed to point out a girl who looked very familiar and was accompanied by two other girls and a short, thin young man of about twenty or so. The guy had brown, unkempt hair and was wearing black-rimmed glasses. The other girls looked a bit familiar as well, especially the one with violet hair.

“Hm, I’m not completely sure,” I told Pinkie, “but that looks like it might... hey, get back here! What if it’s not them!?”

Pinkie had opened the door and jumped out, rushing towards the group completely oblivious to her surroundings.

“Don’t worry, I’ll ask them!” she called back to me before turning to address the group. “Hey you!” The little girl looked up. “I hope you’re Apple Bloom because Auntie Pinkie’s coming in for a hug attack!”

Pinkie completely ignored the traffic as she ran through the parking lot and across the road to the girl. Fluttershy, Angel and I quickly exited the car and began to make our way over before the crazy former pony could end up getting hit by a car or something.

The little girl’s eyes widened in surprise, then her mouth opened in delight. The other girls soon followed suit, but the young man seemed as if he were trying to decide whether to protect the girls from the crazy lady rushing them, or to protect Pinkie from herself as cars were honking at her as she crossed the road. Before he could make a decision, Pinkie was on them and scooping the girls up in a giant hug.

“Pinkie!” the girls called out in unison. I breathed a silent sigh of relief at that, because it meant that Pinkie hadn’t just freaked out a group of total strangers. Then the realization kicked in; we had found the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

The girl, who turned out to be Apple Bloom after all, was wearing stonewash jeans and a denim jacket over a yellow shirt that, judging by the logo on the front, had come from a GAP store. Her long red hair was done up in a ponytail and, sure enough, there was a big red bow keeping it in place.

Sweetie Belle’s hair had somehow become violet once again in the time between having her passport photo taken and arriving in Australia. She was wearing a long, sky blue dress with a white cardigan over it, as well as one of the most adorable smiles I had ever seen. Her brilliant green eyes sparkled as she returned Pinkie’s hug.

Scootaloo still had brown hair, but some purple was clearly beginning to show through at the roots. She was wearing jeans like Apple Bloom, with an orange sweatshirt. Seeing her in person, I was somewhat ashamed and appalled by the chicken jokes that were often attributed to her. She was far too adorable to be teased in such a way.

The young man seemed somewhat unsure of what to do and simply stood by their luggage as the girls began to chat up Pinkie. Nobody even seemed to notice Fluttershy, Angel, or I as we finally arrived at the scene.

“Excuse me,” I said as I moved towards the young man, “are you John?”

He jumped slightly, as if startled by my sudden appearance. I guess he had been too wrapped up in seeing Pinkie Pie in person, so I couldn’t blame the poor bloke. “Oh uh, hi... you must be Doug, right?”

I nodded and noticed John’s eyes straying toward Fluttershy and Angel. Fair enough, meeting Equestrians is far more interesting than meeting normal old humans, I suppose. I stepped back and introduced them to him.

“John, this here is Angel,” I said, beckoning to the former bunny.

“Hhhh....hi!” Angel managed to say. He looked up at John with those strange eyes of his.

“Uh, hey there... little guy?” John replied hesitantly. He seemed relieved when Angel stepped back and allowed Fluttershy to come forward.

“And this here is Fluttershy,” I said. Fluttershy remained partially hidden behind me, but stuck her head out to have a look at John.

“Nice... nice to meet you,” he stuttered. I wondered what his problem was, but then I realized that Fluttershy looked about the same age he did. Of course.

I cleared my throat in an attempt to get his attention, but the kid was spellbound. It didn’t matter, however, as Angel stepped forward and stomped on John’s foot.

“Son of a —” he exclaimed, now fully out of his stupor. He glared down at Angel, who crossed his arms and glared right back.

“John?” Scootaloo had broken free from Pinkie’s embrace and ran over to see what was going on. “Are you okay? I heard a... whoah!” She stopped and looked up at me. I guess she was noticing me for the first time, having been scooped up by Pinkie before. Her eyes had grown wide and her mouth was slightly agape as she stared up at me.

“Hello Scootaloo,” I said, smiling. She continued to look at me with some kind of mixture of awe and wonder.

“Hey, Scootaloo, are you talking to Fluttershy?” asked Sweetie as she emerged from Pinkie’s grasp. “I can’t wait to... oh!” She, like Scootaloo, had suddenly stopped talking when she saw me. It was a little unsettling.

“Hey, what’re y’all running off without me for?” Apple Bloom called out as she and Pinkie arrived. “I wanna see Fluttershy too!” She followed her friends’ gazes up to me and blinked.

“Hello,” I tried again, feeling awkward under the gaping stares of the other two Crusaders.

Apple Bloom reached over and tugged on John’s shirt. “Hey, you never told us y’all had talkin’ bears on Earth!”

John grimaced and explained. “He’s not a bear, girls. Just a little tall.”

Apple Bloom crossed her arms. “Uh huh, so how do ya explain all that hair?” She pointed to my beard, then addressed me. “Hey mister, are ya a bear or aint ya?”

“Apple Bloom! Don’t be rude,” Sweetie berated. She slowly stepped towards me and tenderly held up her hand. “Hi, I’m Sweetie Belle.”

It would likely have been one of the most heart-warming moments of my life to be greeted by Sweetie Belle in such a way had it not been for Pinkie giggling like a maniac and going on about Captain Man-Bear in the background. Despite that, it was still confirmation to me that Sweetie deserved her name as I gently took her hand and shook it.

“I’m Doug,” I offered. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“That means...” Sweetie stopped and thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up and she addressed Fluttershy. “You’re Fluttershy!” she squeaked. “Wow, you look so pretty as a human! Rarity would love that dress!”

Fluttershy was taken aback by the sudden attention, but she couldn’t help herself and came forward to give the girls a warm, heartfelt hug.

“Oh, I’ve missed you all so much!” she said through joyous tears. “I’m so happy that you’re all safe. It must have been just terrible to wake up and not know where you were.”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom gasped in the midst of the hug. “We were really scared.”

I stepped back and allowed the Equestrians to catch up with each other. It was great to see Pinkie, Fluttershy and Angel truly happy for the first time in days, and even better to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders all happy, healthy and in good spirits. John must have had the same idea, because we were soon standing together and watching the Equestrians tell each other stories of what they had seen and done.

I was so caught up in watching them that I didn’t notice a man splitting off from the usual airport crowd and making his way over towards us.

“Hey!” the man called, getting my attention. He quickly reached us and held out his fist.

I stared at it, then looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Brohoof, right?” he asked. “You guys going to a meetup or something? I didn’t even know there were any planned for out here.”

After an awkward pause, I extended my hand and returned the brohoof. The man, a short individual roughly John’s height, but weighing a bit more, with short brown hair and a wide smile, held out his fist to John as well. John, too, returned the gesture.

“So... you are?” I asked. Ordinarily, I would be thrilled to meet another brony, but I really didn’t have time for this right now. I just wanted to get the Equestrians somewhere safe and then figure out what to do from there.

“Oh, just call me Southern Cross, that’s what I go by online,” he replied. He was clearly enthusiastic about meeting other pony fans. “Same name on all the MLP sites. EQD, art, fan fiction...”

Fan fiction? I thought.

I interrupted him and bent close. “Did you find anypony?” I asked.

He just looked up at me inquisitively and John interjected.

“Uh Doug, I think we should get going...” he said.

But then the man, Southern Cross, laughed. It was somewhat creepy, like a forced evil villain laugh. “What is that, some sort of inside joke? Seriously, did you find anypony? Sure, yeah. I have three in my backyard!” He chuckled and slapped me on my back. “So anyway, I need to get going. I just saw you all cosplaying and had to introduce myself. Look me up online sometime!”

And with that, the man had disappeared back into the crowd just as quickly as he had appeared.

I looked at John, who looked back at me. “I... can we just go get something to eat?" he asked. "I think we’re all a little sick of airplane food and that didn’t help.”

“Yeah, let’s get going,” I agreed. “Having all of us out here in public together might draw unwanted attention, as we just saw.”

We gathered the Equestrians, who had been too busy catching up to notice the man who had approached us, and made our way to my car. Once we arrived, I took a look at what was now a small crowd of Equestrians, then back to my car. I looked up just as John caught my eye.

“So uh,” he began, “how are we all going to fit into that?

Bonus Mini Chapter: Motivations

Bonus Mini Chapter: Motivations
April 25th, 2012

The silence was broken by a piercing ringtone that issued from a mobile phone lying on the kitchen counter. A dark hand swiftly picked the phone up and thumbed a green icon to take the call.

"Yes," a man answered in a thick Middle-Eastern accent. "This is Mohammed. Yes. Of course you will be paid, do not worry about that, my friend. Just tell me what I need to hear."

Moey frowned, a very rare thing for him to do, as he listened to what the caller had to say. His hands moved quickly and efficiently, recording everything he heard on a second smartphone he typed on as he listened. It was second nature to him, for in his line of work information was a very valuable thing.

"How many of them are there in total?" he asked. His eyebrows rose slightly as he listened. "All of them female? Oh yes, right. Forget about him right now. Yes, the other man isn't important right now, either. Tell me about the girls."

Moey moved out of the kitchen and into his study as he continued to listen and type. Soon, he was sitting at one of his computers and pulling up multiple web pages. His fingers flew across the keyboard as image after image of what he was looking for came up on screen.

"Does he still believe them?" Moey asked as he zoomed in on one image in particular and stared at it. "No, not the little ones. The big ones. Like sisters, they are. Very beautiful." He studied the image before him. In it, a large, bearded man chatted with a shorter bespectacled man while two women were hugging three little girls.

The problem for Moey wasn't that everything was starting to add up. The problem was that the answer before him wasn't the one he had expected.

He quickly cut off the person he was listening to.

"And what do you think? Did you get a good look at them? Would you believe them?" he asked. He listened for a moment, then interjected once again. "Okay, okay, my friend. Please shut up for a moment. Yes, you've done fine. You will be rewarded, yes. Okay? Okay, goodbye."

Moey thumbed an icon on the phone and ended the call. He stared at the many images on his computer screen for a good five minutes before remembering that he should probably call his client and give an update. He thumbed in a number and held the phone up to his ear.

"Victoria? Yes, I believe you will want to be hearing this."