Conversion Bureau: The Harshest Lesson

by The Harvester

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna
Length: 3018

The ponies tried many ways to convert humanity into ponies, failing countless times. Eventually they simply chose to let the Barrier handle them. Unfortunately though, they are going to meet something that doesn't take too kindly to them.

When the ponies came, they tried to convert humanity with words and kindness, saying that they were misguided beings and the princesses would help them on the path to Harmony. When that failed, the ponies tried the potion, only for it's magic to be countered by humanity's science. Then they tried force and failed completely at that.
Finally they decided to let the Barrier defeat humanity and it seemed to work! Nearly 50% of the planet was covered with humanity doing it's best to find a solution.
Unfortunately, the ponies of Equestria are about to learn a harsh lesson that humanity learnt long ago. The Earth can be paradise for those who tame it, but to others it is hell.

Published 2014-01-24 18:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-24 18:40:05 UTC

The Harshest Lesson

I was there when Humanity first began their long path to the top of the food chain. At first I was puzzled, wondering how could a race came to exist. I was so sure that they wouldn't last against the predators, diseases, and disasters.

Yet they didn't just survived them, they defeated them.

Predators become prey as humanity created tools, diseases were cured with medicine, and structures were created to with stand disasters. Humanity, slowly but surely, made their way to the top of the food chain and stood there uncontested.

They constantly fought among themselves, growing stronger as they did, and left many scars on me. I do not mind for I could tell that they are making ways to reverse the damages they left.

I grew to admire them for their determination to survive against any odds, for their ability to overcome any obstacle in their path, for their skill to adapt to any challenge. They earned their right to tame me.

Then these ponies came and all that changed.

At first, humanity was baffled, wondering how did an entire continent appear right in the middle of an ocean and they only responded with magic. They were nice at first, curing some diseases that still plagued humanity but I noticed their intentions. They saw humanity as brutes, little more than misguided beings who needed their so called 'goddesses' to help them raise out of their basic destructive instincts.

I wasn't surprised when they later voiced my thoughts perfectly.

I supposed that they had the idea that humanity would see that their words were true and come to be converted in huge numbers. They were wrong.

Those Conversion Bureaus were forced to shut down by the government in countless countries or burned down to the ground by angry mobs when they found out that the process didn't just changed their bodies, it changed their mind as well.

I saw that the ponies were either put into prison camps or fled back to their land, Equestria. Later I heard their plans that if they couldn't save humanity though kindness, then they save them through force.

I watched as they secretly mixed the potion with different drinks that humanity had created and watched what happened after. Apparently the mix of the potion and certain drinks only changed the body but not the mind so, while many humans were converted into little more than drones, much more were shocked at what they become.

What followed next was war and humanity is always at it's strongest during war.

While humanity's military battled the Equestria's military, it was a rather one sided fight though that magic they had gave ponies an edge, scientists studied the potion itself. It turns out that even magic had cells if it was intended to be used against the body and using nanotechnology, they made the body able to recognize and destroy the magic cells.

The ponies were very shocked when they saw that their potion no longer worked.

They still did have one advantage though, that barrier. It kept everything out and, if a constant stream of magic was supplied, it could last for a long time. The ponies simply decided to give the Barrier the ability to move and hide behind it as it destroyed every humanity had created and forcibly converted any human caught by it.

I knew that humanity would make a weapon to counter it but I saw that by the time they had, much of the population would be converted and the ponies would simply overrun what little of humanity that remained.

Knowing this, I decided that enough was enough. Humanity earned their right to live here and if these ponies thought that they could just come here and take over then they will learn a lesson that humanity had learned long ago.

And what do you know? Turns out that the Barrier kept everything in as well as out.

New Manehattan aka New York City

In a skyscraper with large glass windows Celestia smiled as she watched the Barrier slowly made it's way across the Earth. It's been a harsh two years but finally they would triumph against those humans. Even she admitted that she never expected the humans to be so stubbornly against being saved from their basic instincts nor would they develop a way to counter the potion.

Still, even with the lost of countless ponies in the war, the Barrier would win this for them and the humans would see how good it is to be a pony.

Hearing hoofsteps, the alicorn turned to see Twilight coming, rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning Princess Celestia," The new alicorn greeted her, standing beside her former teacher in front of the large window. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Just enjoying the view and the fact that I don't have to raise the sun every morning," Celestia replied and was truly honest at that. It was very surprising to both her and her sister when the celestial bodies moved on their own here on Earth. "Also you don't have to call me princess anymore."

Twilight blushed lightly in embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm still getting used to this whole princess thing." She turned her attention to the Barrier, a smile appearing. "I still can't believe those humans are so against being saved. I mean it's only a matter of time before they wiped themselves out."

Celestia nodded her head in agreement before a question popped in her mind. "Have there been any progress in taming this planet's ecosystem?" Twilight winced at that, mentally hoping her former teacher wouldn't ask her that.

"No, it seems that the planet is actively fighting against our magic like how Everfree is capable of doing," She left out the fact that there were places on Earth that made Everfree, one of the most dangerous places in Equestria, seem like a park in comparison. "Not to mention the animals doesn't seem to like ponies that much." Fluttershy nearly got torn to shreds when she, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash went to free those 'K-9' units from their pens. Her Stare could only affect so many animals at once and eventually the Royal Guard had to be called to stun the dogs. Even then, several Royal Guards were killed and her friends received several injuries.

"Still I'm sure that we'll be able to tame them with time," Without another word, the two alicorns went to the dining hall to enjoy breakfast. Arriving there, they saw that Twilight's friends, along with Luna, were already awake and enjoy their meals.

"Good morning sister, and good morning Twilight," Luna greeted them as they entered, the others following her example.

Rainbow Dash looked up from her pancakes. "Say Twilight, how much longer are we going to stay here? I really want to fly again." Her wings flapped a few times but succeeded in only causing a breeze. It was a effect from leaving Equestria to anywhere the Barrier had passed. There simply wasn't enough magic around them to allow them to do things they could normally do. Unicorns were the exception as their bodies stored magic but once that ran out, they were just as normal as Earth Ponies.

Twilight sat down, a plate of hay bacon calling her name. "The Barrier should cover the Earth in a few months time so just hang on a bit longer Dash." The rainbow mane pegasus just sighed in annoyance and went back to her food, wishing that she could enjoy the feeling of flight again.

Fluttershy picked at her plate, a depressed look on her face which Applejack noticed. "Sugercube, you still ain't bummed about those dogs are ya?"

"Oh no well yes but," The shy pegasus spoke, voice barely above a whisper. "I'm just shocked at how humans would train those poor dogs to attack. I mean it's already bad enough they hunted so many animals to extinction but do they have to train animals to hunt other animals?" Rarity reached over and patted her on the back.

"Well don't worry darling.In a few months time, those nasty humans will be ponies and see that the way they lived was wrong. After that we can all work together to help retrain those animals. Honestly its bad enough that animals in Everfree take care of themselves but a whole planet worth," All the ponies shivered at that. "We'll help them after we helped the humans."

Pinkie quickly stood up, a cup of orange juice in her hoof, and exclaimed. "Yeah! Those humans are going to see how great it is to be a pony. To Harmony!"

"To Harmony!" Everypony cheered with cups in the air. Suddenly lightning flashed through the windows, making every pony jump, or in Fluttershy's case hide under the table.

Rainbow Dash looked up at the skylights, seeing dark storm clouds forming in the sky, and scowled. "I hate the weather here. It's all weird and random," She looked closer outside, seeing something among the clouds. "Hay what is th-"

CRASH

Everypony jumped back when a wagon of all things crashed onto their table. It was only then that they heard the roars of the wind and the sounds of thunder. More windows shattered, some from the sheer force of the wind or with objects of different sizes crashing through them, as the princesses quickly made a barrier, protecting all of them from the barrage of wind and objects.

"What is going on!" Celestia yelled over the wind and as if on cue, a voice spoke back.

"PONIES!" It spoke with countless years of wisdom and age in it's voice, everything shaking as each syllable formed. "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!"

Most of them looked around, scanning for the owner of the voice. "Where are you?!" Twilight yelled, making sure that the barrier protecting them was still stable.

"I AM EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE AT ONCE BUT THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT!" The voice made cracks appear in the barrier as it spoke. "WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS THAT I AM TIRED OF YOU PONIES ATTEMPTING TO TAME ME WHEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO!"

That confused all of them and Celestia spoke up. "Tame you? What do you mean?"

"THAT BARRIER OF YOUR IS TRYING TO FORCE YOUR MAGIC ONTO ME AND I WILL HAVE NO MORE OF IT! NOT TO MENTION YOU KEEP HARASSING MY RIGHTFUL OWNERS!"

"Owners? What kind of animal are you then?" Luna said, fear creeping into her voice, remembering the countless human myths she had read. Perhaps not all of them were myths after all.

"FIRST MY OWNERS IS HUMANITY AND SECOND I AM NOT AN ANIMAL," The next three words shocked all of them to their core. "I AM EARTH."

Nothing came out of the collective ponies' mouths for a few minutes until Twilight shook herself out of her shook.

"That's impossible! A planet can't be sentient!"

"THEN EXPLAIN THIS!" A bolt of lightning, far more powerful than any pony can hope to create, struck the barrier protecting them and shattered it, scattering them across the room.

Celestia slowly stood back up before saying. "Please! If you truly are the planet then you should be helping us! All the damage humanity caused to you can be reversed with the Barrier and magic!"

"NO THE SCARS HUMANITY GAVE ME I SHALL ALLOW ONLY THEM OR MYSELF TO HEAL! NO MUTATED HORSES WILL BE ALLOW HERE ANYMORE!" The voice said as they regrouped back together.

Twilight and her friends stepped forward, determined looks on their faces. "We don't care if you are the planet! With the Elements of Harmony, we will defeat you!" She said, her friends cheering beside her.

"YOU MEAN THESE ELEMENTS?" The chest holding the Elements crashed into the room and before anypony could react, another bolt of lightning, one far more powerful than the last one, struck it.

Not even ashes remained of it, only a smoking hole of where it once was.

"T-the E-elements," Twilight whimpered, fear in her voice as her and her friends backed into Celestia and Luna.

"THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING PONIES! LEAVE ME AND HUMANITY ALONE AND NEVER RETURN. OR," The voice's tone became low and deep as if thunder itself was speaking to them. "YOU CAN LEARN ONE OF THE HARSHEST LESSONS THAT HUMANITY HAS EVER LEARNED."

Celestia spread her wings in anger, eyes narrowed at her surroundings. "Which is?"

"TO THOSE WHO TAME ME, I AM PARADISE BUT THOSE WHO HAVEN'T, I AM HELL. NOW WILL YOU LEAVE?"

The two alicorns locked eyes and shared a nod. Celestia then spoke up. "We tamed our planet long ago and we will tame you. You were wrong to make an enemy out of us."

"NO, YOU WERE WRONG THINKING I COULD BE TAMED BY THE LIKES OF YOU," The winds started to die down now. "REMEMBER CELESTIA AND LUNA, ALL THE LIVES LOST FROM HERE ON OUT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU SIMPLY LEFT."

The winds stopped completely, all the objects crashing to the ground. Twilight slowly walked up to her former teacher, tears in her eyes.

"Celestia, the Elements." The white alicorn sighed. "It is regrettable Twilight but we will make due without them."

Applejack then heard something, her left ear twitching. "Uh? Ya all hear that?" They all walked up to a broken window, being careful not to step on any glass and looked out at the city. What they saw horrified them.

The streets below were now filled with rushing torrents of water as ponies desperately tried to find something to hang on to. Even from up here, they could hear the screams of countless ponies as they were washed away by the flood.

What they didn't know that it was only the beginning.

In the following months, I sent them all kinds of nasty things. Locusts that completely devoured all of their crops, diseases that they had no immune against, disasters that torn down or washed away anything they tried to build, animal attacks being far more frequent.

Oh they tried to fight against me but even that magic of their had limits and one of them was that it couldn't be everywhere at once. I, on the other hand, made sure that their stay was absolute hell with droughts, famine, widespread diseases, and countless other problems. Soon, after six months and nearly 60% of their population dead or dying, they collapsed the Barrier and ran back home.

Of course, I made sure to send a few more problems before that portal closed to make sure that they don't return.

Humanity was understandably confused and wondered what happened. The locations that the ponies held beyond the Barrier were riddled with signs of natural disasters along with the appearance of different diseases in the corpses of ponies that were left behind. Scientists then theorized that the introduction of magic into Earth's ecosystem caused a violent reaction within the Barrier as no other places outside it were affected. Not even other states that were right next to Barrier suffered even the slightest form of disasters or diseases. Still nations around the world celebrated that they survived and even the humans that were transformed into ponies slowly made their way into back into society in the following years.

Humanity earned their place at the top and nothing was going to change that. Not if I had anything to say about it.

Author's Note

This plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone until I typed this up... well that and I lost a bet with a friend so I had to write a Conversion Bureaus story. Lucky for me, he wasn't specific on the details so I decided to give it my own spin. Please tell me what you think in the comments!

-Edit- 1/26/14
When I first posted this story, I meant it as nothing more than assignment I had to do thanks to a losing a bet.

What I didn't expect is for it to become this popular, in more way than one, in two days and I certainly didn't expect to see a damn war go on in the comments. So I'm going to clear things up for the sake of everyone and to stop a pointless war from going on any longer.

When I lost the bet and sober enough to understand, my friend only said, and I quote, "Write and post a Conversion Bureau as your first story."

Seriously, that is all he said so that basically gave me free reign to do what I wanted. Even he admitted that he should have been more specific on what to write and how to write it.

Another thing is that I put little effort into this story because it wasn't one I honestly liked and didn't expect to be in that little popular box on the main page when I logged on today. I gave no spirit into this story because I simply didn't feel to.

Long story short, this story was just the result of a lost bet thus shouldn't be taken seriously. I supposed I should have put that in the A/N before but too late now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for everyone who read and comment on it, even the haters and flamers, and making it this popular in just two days. As a writer, this story is little more than a joke, but I guess to all my readers, this was something to take seriously.

In conclusion, this story was meant to be nothing more than another overdone Conversion Bureau I did thanks to losing a bet and not a popular story in two days that will still leave me baffled in years to come on how it become so popular so fast. So everyone just understand that this story wasn't meant to be taken seriously and it was done with little effort on my part. I'm writing this now as to avoid a war that will probably last a while judging from what's going on in the comments.