The Deg-deg

by goatsauce

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Random
Length: 1970

Our hero, Lenny, is trapped in Equestria forever. Or is he..?

Lenny is a creepy young man. He used to spend his days on a laptop, searching up god knows what, in his room. All day.

But, one thing turns to another, and he is sent to a magical place.

Our hero, Lenny, is trapped in Equestria forever. Or is he..?

Lenny must survive incoming waves of stupidity, violence, and friendship as he is thrust into a magical world of ponies.

Yeah, like this kind of story was never made before.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-25 23:00:06 UTC

Chapter 1

Lenny is a young man, about, eh, 14-18. No one knows much about him, except his family. People at his school stay away from him, because they get creeped out by him. He seems to radiate a creepy aura, and he is always staring at butts, whether it be man or woman. He is precisely 6 feet tall, and he is sorta slim. He usually wears some hoodie and jeans, along with some cheap 20 buck sneakers you can get at Walmart. Both his eyes and hair are black, and his hair is sorta short.

Lenny was spending his weekend in a corner of his room, on the internet. He wore a creepy smile while browsing a certain site that people call the asshole of the internet. Lenny then got bored for whatever reason and stood up, ready to walk out of his room and go get something to eat to preserve his mysterious life.

Lenny opened, got out of, and locked, his door to his room. He couldn't risk anyone sneaking in there and looking. With that dealt with, he then walked down some stairs that led to his kitchen. As he was on his way, he ran into his mother.

"Oh, hi, dearie! How was your day at school before you came home?" she said.

"Just fine, mother. I was heading to the kitchen." Lenny said.

"Well, alright. Go on and get a little snacky for you before dinner, okay honey?" his mom said.

"...Alright." said Lenny as he walked away at a somewhat faster pace.

Lenny got to the kitchen and got one of those mini pringles packs. You know, the stuff of chips your friend had in his lunchbox back in 7th grade. With that thought aside, he went back up to his room. He just threw the snack aside as he went back to his laptop, this time he was on the bed.

Already typing some stuff on his laptop, he didn't notice as the lighting outside from his bedroom window began to suddenly darken. It finally got that dark in his room for him to finally notice as he got up to look out the window. Nothing. He saw nothing, just a pure abyss of blackness and nothing. This seemed to worry him a bit, as he put on a creepy slight frown. He then noticed there was a white light coming from under the space of his door. Lenny backed up silently and hid behind his chair quite hastily. He knew that it probably wouldn't help hide him from the possible danger coming.

Lenny flinched as the door swung open, letting a searing white light shine upon him. For what seemed like hours, seemed a few seconds as he got used to the light could see clearly. Lenny saw a tall white figure, just about his height, stand near him. This figure resembled a horse of sorts.

"Rise, human." it said.

Lenny did so, out of curiosity, but regretted doing so. He was suddenly picked up by some force and carried over to the thing. Lenny could now guess that this was a girl horse thing.

"You are lonely in this world." the horse said.

"Yeah, and so are millions of other humans just like me. Why me, specifically?" Lenny said.

"Because you are special." the thing said.

"I need to take you to the land of Equestria, because you are lonely." it said.

"What are you, a fucking character out of My Little Pony?" Lenny said.

This threw off the pony thing. She had a huge look of confusion on her face, and it seemed she knew what Lenny where talking about, but at the same time, she didn't know. She regained her posture.

"I am the co-ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia." Celestia said.

"And why the fuck do you expect me to agree and leave my family behind, making them wonder where I went?" Lenny said, voice raised a little.

"Your parents aren't real."

"..What?"

"I apologize."

"You're lying."

"Go pack, please, or else I will change who you are."

Her horn started glowing, and Lenny didn't want to risk being magic'd to death, so he packed nearly all of his clothes and most of his electronics, including his 3DS, laptop, and a desktop with a keyboard, and a whole lot more stuff including a few nerf guns and an air rifle. Let's just say Lenny panicked and packed whatever he could find in his room. It also didn't help that he got a vacation bag every Christmas.

"Now, when we walk out of this door, your room will cease to exist and everyone will forget about you and everything that has to do with you. Are you sure you want to leave?" Celestia said.

"Why the fuck are you speaking to me like I had a fucking choice? You're the one who's forcing yourself onto my life and is just expecting me to move out of my own comfortable life I enjoyed. And why the fuck are my parents fake!!?" Lenny said. As you could tell, Lenny was pretty damn mad, and it took a lot for him to start yelling and actually speak. Like that one time someone stole his milk carton in kindergarten. The little shit who stole it cried for months.

Celestia thought that meant yes, and even had a little smirk on her face as she pushed him out his door, Lenny tripped and fell on some marble floor. His stuff fell on top of him, and it hurt like hell, having a 200 pounds of human stuff fall on you. Lenny got up slowly and looked around, as he looked to be in some kind of castle.

Lenny had a smirk on. He found a pony maid who was bent over, cleaning random things. The mere thought of butts was enough to content him for an hour or two.

"Ready to go to your new room, human?" Celestia said as she walked behind him, interrupting his butt admiring. Being called human again made Lenny flip off the Princess. Lenny turned around and said "Fuck you, my name's Lenny, nice to meet you."

Chapter 2

Celestia looked a little surprised at Lenny's little outburst, cursing a immortal goddess was frowned upon, especially in Equestria. Lenny's raising of the middle finger had no effect on her, because she probably didn't know what it meant.

"Welcome to Equestria, Lenny! It's nice to meet you." She said, with a tender smile that Lenny swore was made to anger him.

Sadly, it didn't help Lenny's problems.

"Why are you so happy? You're a kidnapper." Lenny said.

"I don't believe I take goats, but whatever you think of me is fine with me." Celestia said.

"Stop. Just show me my room, kidnapper." Lenny said, putting on his own smile again. His jimmies where not rustled yet. Even his smile off put Celestia, albiet slightly. As they where walking through the unnecessarily huge castle, they got stares from maids and guards and such, but they figured it was safe because Celestia was with him. Lenny figured they never seen a human before because this is fucking ponyland.

The strange duo got to Lenny's new room. "Why am I suddenly pulled out of my own life to another life that I am extremely discontent with?" Lenny said. Celestia just smiled and threw Lenny in the room, with all of his stuff.

Lenny looked around the condo-like place. There was a bathroom in the middle, with all the other rooms around it. He found the actual bedroom, and set his stuff down in it. He was really aching a butt admiring session.

Thankfully, he found some power holes identical to the ones on Earth in the walls. That means he could plug in his laptop and stare at his collection. Before Lenny could unpack, there was a knocking on his room door. "God damn." Lenny said to himself. He got to the door, and fumbled around to unlock it because ponies suck. He got it open, and out in front of him was a maid. A maid mare. Her coat color was white, and her hair was purple. These bright colors made Lenny sick. He was aching for some ebony ass.

"Hello! Uh... What is your name?" the maid mare asked. She clearly hasn't seen a human before. Figures.

"Lenny. Lenny Bel-aire." He said.

"I am your new maid, my name is Divine Prose, but you can call me Prose!" Prose said.

"Why are you my maid?" Lenny asked.

"Well, Lenny, because the Princess ordered me to!" Prose said.

Lenny got an idea. With a creepy grin, he welcomed her in. He then showed her to his room. "Cool, I guess. Listen, can you unpack all of my things for me?" He said.

"I'll be glad to, Lenny!" Prose said.

Prose then started cleaning, all around the room. Lenny thought that she was bending over too much. He then started looking at the pony's butt. He didn't enjoy it as much as human butts. Hell, he didn't mind the faggotry the brony fandom made in porn, but he didn't really enjoy their porn, anyways. They always seemed like they always had a fedora, if not wearing one.

Prose looked up and saw Lenny looking at her butt. Lenny was too zoned out to even care. "Um," she said, but Lenny interrupted her in a rather creepy fashion.

"Nice ass." said Lenny. This caused Prose to hurry up and finish quickly. She was blushing furiously. Lenny guessed that ponies don't flirt a lot. Prose finished and walked up to Lenny.

"Um, I have to bathe you." Prose said quietly.

Lenny didn't quite catch that.

"What was that?" Lenny said.

"I said I have to bathe you..." said Prose.

"No you don't." said Lenny.

"Yes, I have to, Princess' orders." Prose said, starting to head towards Lenny.

"You can't just bathe some unidentified creature no one knows about!" Lenny said. Prose still headed towards Lenny. "Stop! I don't want my jimmies rustled!" yelled Lenny. Prose backed off. Lenny sighed.

"I don't want to be bathed just yet. I still have yet to set up my stuff... like my laptop." Lenny said. He was pretty sure that she didn't know what a laptop was, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get away and stay away from Celestia and Prose for a while. Sure, he got a free room, but he still needed a little bit to get used to this world.

"Tonight. You." said Prose in a voice not hers. This made Lenny grin because it was hilarious, but he just didn't know what was going to happen that night in the tub.

Prose left his condo to do whatever maids did in their free time, if they had any free time. All Lenny thought they did was dust stuff and bathe people. Then again, he swore he could feel Celestia laughing nearby. Lenny then wore his grin and went to set up his stuff. He already had his laptop and charger out on the bed and was staring at butts. There was a fine butt. Then there was a bad butt, that he deleted. Then, there was the best butt of all. It is not known, to anyone except Lenny. He kept the best butt somewhere deep in the depths of the system32 file. He saw something walk into his room, and out of pure instinct, he exited out of everything and closed his laptop in a flash.

Celestia grinned at Lenny. Lenny had a grin as well, and was looking off to the side at something. Celestia stood there, and Lenny sat there on the bed. "What are you doing on that invention?" Celestia asked.

"Enjoying myself." replied Lenny.