Standards of Courtship

by Cogneato Switch

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Romance
Length: 15787

With the help of Rarity, the new farmer in town learns the proper way to court a mare.

In his hometown, Bumbleberry was a respectable stallion known for his tenacity and hard work. When he gets to Ponyville, he is overcome with urges nopony can explain. Through discipline exercises and a little help from Rarity, he finds repose in a book dedicated to courtship.

Published 2014-01-25 02:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-28 03:58:07 UTC

A Ponyville Welcome

Celestia’s Sun peeked over the horizon, painting the land in a pale yellow hue. The light crept up a wall and through an unshaded window. It landed squarely on the closed eyes of a fuchsia-colored pony. He slowly opened his eyes and watched as Celestia finished the sunrise and bathed Equestria in the warm light for a new day. Once the sun was high in the sky, he sat up in his bed, pushed back the covers, and stretched his front hooves to the ceiling. He shook out his short blue and red mane and gave a little neigh, as he did every morning. With a little hop out of bed, he bounced out the door.

Last night had gone by in a daze. He’d caught the Midnight Express and arrived in Ponyville in the wee hours of the morning. A magenta pony identifying herself as Berryshine escorted him to the farm and showed him to his room in the back of the main house where he promptly passed out.

Bumbleberry stepped into the house and his nostrils filled with the scent of sweet pastries. The walls were made of natural logs and the floor made flat with wooden floorboards. A long counter divided the room in half. The North side of the room was a large kitchen. Berryshine stood on her hind hoofs wearing an apron and poured batter onto a sizzling griddle. The South side had the door to the outside, a door to the back, and a pink wooden table and four chairs.

“Good morning!” Bumbleberry called out to the kitchen.

“Good morning!” Berryshine replied loudly over the sounds of cooking. “Have a seat, we’ll have breakfast out to you in a jiffy.”

He obliged and sat his rump into a chair. A moment later, the door to the back flung open and a pink mare with a yellow mane and a cherry cutie mark stepped in. Behind her was a little pink filly with pink hair. He stood up out of respect.

“Good morning,” the cherry pony greeted warmly. “You must be Bumbleberry! I’m Cherry Berry!” She took his hoof with both of hers and shook it firmly. “Thank you so much for answering our ad.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Bumbleberry responded. “I’ve always wanted to get out to the country and make the berries myself with my own two hooves.”

They both smiled at each other. “Oh, and this is my niece, Pina.” She pushed the pink filly forward.

“Pleased to meet you sir.”

“Pleased to meet you too, Pina.” Cherry pointed at Berryshine as she served the hotcakes at the table. “I’m sure you’ve already met my sister, Berryshine?”

“Yes I did.” Berryshine nodded at Bumbleberry as she left for utensils. “It was very kind of her to show me to the farm so late at night.”

“No problem at all, dear.” Berryshine called from the kitchen. “Cherry Berry was far too tired after her hot air balloon show yesterday.”

“You have a hot air balloon?”

Cherry Berry blushed. “I do. I fly up to Cloudsdale and Canterlot sometimes for work, but it’s mostly a hobby.”

“Amazing!”

Berryshine returned with the utensils. “Please sit! Help yourself!” Everypony sat at the table and began to eat.

“So tell us about yourself, sweet pea.” Cherry Berry suggested, cutting into her hotcakes.

“Well, my parents are part of the Bumble Family Urban Beekeepers from Filly Delphia.” He paused to take a bite of his food. “I came into berries when I was just a little filly and went with my mother to Dodge Junction. While she was peddling her honey to a fruit farmer there, I wandered off into the fields and got into some of the crops. When my mother finally found me, I had made different juices and used them to paint a picture for her.” He looked at his cutie mark, which was a strawberry, blackberry, blueberry, and raspberry, all in a bunch. “Anyway, it turned out I had a way with all kinds of fruit. And while I did what I could with the Bumble family, I needed to get out to an actual berry farm. So I came here!” He smiled, triumphant that he’d made a good impression on his new employer, and continued eating his breakfast.

“So you’re not part of the Berry family!” Cherry laughed. “I thought you might be a distant cousin somepony neglected to mention.”

“Nope!” Bumbleberry shoved the last of his food in his mouth. “The ‘berry’ in my name is pure coincidence.” Everypony chuckled light heartedly.

Everypony had finished eating, so Cherry Berry stood up. “It’s time to start our day, Bumbleberry. Let me show you around.”

Outside, Cherry showed Bumbleberry around to the cherry orchards, grape vineyards, and strawberry fields. She lectured for what seemed like hours on picking cherries, telling the good ones from bad ones, and all sorts of things. Bumbleberry took it all in and learned quickly. Cherry bucked, he sorted, and time flew by until all the cherries in the orchard were picked and sorted.

“That’s good for today!” she told him over a glass of berryade. “You’re a real hard worker! If you always work like this, we’ll be able to expand the farm!”

“You are too kind. I can do more work today, if you’d like.”

Cherry shook her head. “No, you deserve a break. Spend time in your room or go visit the town. A new job can be overwhelming.”

“Thank you very much, Cherry!”

Bumbleberry hardly set hoof in room before leaving for town. If berries were his first passion, as indicated by his cutie mark, then ponies were his second. With his day pack and helmet on, he mounted his bicycle, and kicked off down the dirt road to Ponyville. He grinned widely at the sensation of the wind rushing past his cheeks and ears.

Coming over a hill, he saw the skyline of Ponyville. It was nothing compared to Filly Delphia, but that was to be expected. Ponyville was less than half the size of his home town, but, as Bumbleberry reasoned, its inhabitants could spend more time with their fellow ponies and develop closer connections. He rolled down the hill, over the stone arched bridge that marked the city limits of Ponyville and skidded to a stop.

Dozens of ponies were bustling about the market before him. Stalls of hay, fruit, and other freshly harvested produce decorated the square. Ponies walked from stall to stall, filling their packs with goods exchanged for bits.

Bumbleberry parked his bike and set out on hoof. He had never been to an open air market before, but he somehow felt at ease. Each pony smiled as they trotted by, bartering was friendly, and best of all, the atmosphere was one of community.

The first stall Bumbleberry strolled by to was a wheeled cart with two large half-barrel buckets filled to the brim with apples so aromatic that he found himself craving them. The proprietor of the cart was a blonde haired orange mare with an apple trio cutie mark sporting a brown ten gallon hat with a large semi circle cut out of the front brim.

“Good afternoon!” He greeted warmly, eyeing the contents of her cart.

“‘Afternoon!” She replied in the same manner. “Care for some delicious apples?”

“Why yes I would!" He bounced excitedly to meet his first pony in Ponyville, aside from his employer.

"What kind of apples would you like?"

Bumbleberry had no idea about the kinds of apples. He shrugged and asked, "what types do you have?”

“I’ve got all sorts of apples. I’ve got Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, Gala, McIntosh, and Braeburn apples.”

Bumbleberry, overwhelmed by the types of apples, blinked twice. “Uh…”

The apple farmer smiled at the all-too familiar look of a pony who’s never visited her stand before. “Why don’t you tell me what you’d like to do with the apples and I’ll tell you which one to get.”

He said the only thing that came to mind, “I’d like to eat it.”

"Then try this one!" She picked one up with her hoof and offered to him. "It's on the house!"

"Thank you!" The folk here were the most pleasant he'd ever met. He took the apple and bit into it. "My goodness, this is delicious!"

The pony smiled. "Yes siree, Sweet Apple Acres has the best apples this side of Canterlot."

"You certainly do!" he exclaimed, taking another bite. "I'm Bumbleberry, by the way. I'm new here." He held out his hoof.

She took his hoof and shook it firmly. "My name's Applejack. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance!"

"You sure know a lot about apples. Do you work on the farm?" The berry apprentice asked.

Applejack laughed. "Why yes I do. In fact, I bucked these apples fresh this morning."

"I just got a job on a berry farm near here, " he offered, making conversation.

"Over on Cherry Berry Farms?" The apple farmer nodded with approval. "You're in for a treat. They are some great ponies over there."

"That's great to hear!" He glanced around at all the other potential customers walking by and decided not to take any more of her time. "Thank you for the apple."

"You're welcome!" She grinned widely.

He tossed two bits into her cart basket before trotting off.

Bumbleberry continued to explore the market with no particular destination in mind. He bought a bundle of asparagus, haggled over the price of tomatoes, and opted to purchase a bunch of carrots. Suddenly, he came face to face with a pink mare with a thick dark pink curly mane. Bumbleberry threw his head back in shock.

“You must be new here!” she exclaimed happily. “I’m Pinkie Pie! How do you do!” She grasped his hoof and shook it so strongly that his arm continued to shake after she let go.

“How do you do, Pinkie Pie. I am new to Ponyville. My name is Bumbleberry.”

“Really? That’s great!” she cheered. “Would you like to come to a party tonight?”

Her forward attitude caught him so off guard he couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure, I’d love to go to a party. Who is it for?”

“For you, silly!”

“For me? Why?”

“To welcome you to the town!”

“What? Really?”

Pinkie nodded rapidly.

“Wow, well thank you, I’d like that.”

“It’s going to be at the Golden Oak Library over there!” Pinkie pointed across the market towards a large oak tree with several windows and balconies protruding from it. Next to its red door was a sign painted with a book. “We’ll be ready in about an hour!”

Bumbleberry shook his head, trying to get a grip on what just happened. “Wait, an hour?” She nodded in confirmation.

He hesitated, not quite sure what to say. “Do … do you do this for everypony who comes to town?”

Pinkie shook her head. “No, only for ponies who move to town.”

“But how did you know I moved to town?”

“Cherry Berry told me.” Pinkie pointed a hoof at a stall in the distance where Cherry Berry was selling the cherries he’d sorted this morning. “She said she hired a new farm hand and when I saw you and your berry cutie mark, I put two and two together.”

“How deductive!” Bumbleberry was genuinely impressed.

“Thank you!”

“Alright, see you at the party then!” He waved at Pinkie as she disappeared into the crowd. He wished everypony would be as wonderful as the ponies he’d met so far.

For an hour more, he continued exploring the market before heading to the library. Pushing the door open with his hoof, he stepped inside. He was greeted by the scent of old ink and paper. The walls were lined with inset bookshelves filled with books. In the back, a staircase led up to a loft bedroom. Off to the sides were tables with drinks and party snacks and several streamers hung from the ceiling. In the middle of the room, a purple unicorn was finishing a conversation with Pinkie Pie.

“I’d just like some more warning before I have to host a party at the library.”

“Okey dokey!”

Bumbleberry cleared his throat. Both ponies looked up at him. “Hello, is this where the welcome party is?”

The unicorn stepped forward and Pinkie bounced off to continue last minute preparations. “Yes it is. I’m sorry the place is a mess. Pinkie Pie told me less than an hour ago that I was hosting a party!”

He looked around but failed to find any mess. However, he understood that this was quite an undertaking for her, given such short notice. “Thank you so much for hosting. I had no idea this was going on.”

She shook her head incredulously. “Pinkie sometimes lets her party planning get ahead of herself.” She looked up at him. “You must be Bumbleberry, the new apprentice at Cherry Berry farms?” He nodded. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, faithful student of Princess Celestia, and head librarian here at the Golden Oaks Library.”

“Hello Twilight Sparke. I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.”

The door to the library burst open and a blue pegasus flew in, hovering in the air. “Did somepony say that there was a party today?”

“Yes, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight answered. “Pinkie is throwing another one of her welcome parties.”

A knock at the already open door announced another pony’s arrival. “Hello?” a timid yellow pony peeked her head around the door. “Has the party already started?”

“No, Fluttershy,” Twilight answered again. “You’re right on time.” The yellow pegasus walked in, quietly closing the door behind her and found her way to the drink table.

A moment later, the door was once again opened. This time, Applejack, accompanied by a white unicorn walked in. “I’m just glad I got off work in time to attend this. I met him earlier today and he seemed like a swell stallion.”

“Oh my, he is quite the stallion, isn’t he?” The unicorn commented. She threw her hair back as she approached Bumbleberry. “How do you do, my name is Rarity.”

Bumbleberry bowed and looked into her eyes. “How do you do. I’m Bumbleberry. I’m pleased to meet you.” They both smiled.

Pinkie Pie put a record into an old fashioned gramophone and turned up the volume. Soon the party was alive with music and the chatter of ponies. More ponies continued to arrive and Bumbleberry met Lyra Heartstrings, Daisy, Twinkleshine, and a host of others. Berryshine stopped by to say hi, and even the mayor of town showed up. Though his head was spinning by the end of the night, Bumbleberry was thrilled at the warm welcome Ponyville was giving him. Yes, his move to the country may have been the best thing that had ever happened to him.

The Urge

Another sunny day in Ponyville, and another light beam landed on Bumbleberry’s closed eyes. He winced and rolled his face away from it. The welcome party had run later than he expected and by the time he got home, he was so exhausted he fell asleep instantly. Though groggy this morning, he was still delighted to have met so many wonderful citizens of this new town. Bumbleberry sat up, stretched his hooves to the ceiling, shook his head, and gave out a neigh. He hopped out of bed, splashed some water on his face, and walked out to the house.

On his way, he’d thought about all the ponies he’d met at the party. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight the student, Rainbow something, that shy pony, the fancy one with gems, Rarity, maybe? All the names and faces seemed to blur and fade now, but he knew he’d learn them again in time.

Cherry Berry sat at the table with freshly made fruit salad when he walked in. “Good morning Bumbleberry!”

“Good morning Cherry.” The light hit her pink fur and yellow mane in just the right way to make her glisten and glow. She looks so beautiful, a voice in Bumbleberry’s head said. He shook his head, and voice silenced.
“Care for some of my fruit salad?” she offered, breaking his train of thought. “Berryshine says it’s the only thing I make well.”

“Yes please.” He served himself a bowl and put his snout in it to eat. “Where is Berryshine, anyway?” he asked, mouth covered in sweet berry juice.

“She lives in the city with Pina. They were just here yesterday to welcome you.”

“Wow, how kind of them!” He downed the rest of the bowl and licked off his lips.

“Ready for work today?” she asked. “The East orchard is ripe for picking.”

He nodded graciously. “Lead the way, boss!”

The farmer laughed as she bounded out the door with Bumbleberry following behind. They hitched themselves up to a empty cart and walked down rows of cherry trees in various states of ripeness. Cherry Berry started talking about the soil and quality of cherries it produces, but Bumbleberry found himself distracted by what he smelled. He had smelled her cherry scent before, but somehow this was different. It smelled wonderful and he wanted to touch her, or maybe… Bumbleberry wiped his brow, pushing that line of thinking away. What’s going on? he wondered. He tried to wait for a lull in the conversation to ask if she had done something different, but he could scarcely pay attention as he gave way to his senses. She smells so wonderful. Eventually he gave up and travelled in blissful silence until they finally arrived at the East Orchard.

“We’re here!” Cheery announced.

Bumbleberry continued to bask in the feeling while Cherry unhitched herself and took in the beautiful view of trees.

“The view here is so lovely.”

Bumbleberry snapped back to his senses. He quickly unhitched himself and walked up next to her, wondering if she had noticed his strange behavior. This orchard was like the others they’d passed. Empty fruit baskets lined a lavender fence that separated the trees from the road. The orchard itself had hundreds of ripe cherry trees ready for harvest.

“You know what to do, right?” She asked.

“I think I remember.” He smiled.

Cherry bucked a tree as usual and the cherries dropped perfectly into the baskets she’d placed. She glanced at Bumbleberry, challenging him to do the same.

Bumbleberry bucked, but dozens of cherries missed the buckets. He quickly grabbed the cherries on the ground and dropped them into the baskets.

“You’re bucking too hard,” she advised. “Hitting too hard makes the cherries go everywhere.” She moved empty buckets below another tree. “Watch how I do this one.”

He watched, but suddenly his heart began to race and his senses heightened. The same glow from earlier seemed to appear over Cherry, but he knew it was in his head. Her fur glistened, accenting her feminine figure. He became entranced at the way her mane flowed over her back as she rose up with her hind legs in the air. Her muscles sparkled as she firmly yet gracefully threw her hooves against the tree. As the cherries fell, her legs came down and she gave her tail a victory swish.

The experience was surreal. Her body seemed perfect. Too perfect. His mind fought his urge to give her a vulgar compliment on her tail. But the more he thought about it, the more reasonable it seemed.

She looked back at her apprentice, who was staring at her backside. “You alright, sweet pea?” she asked with a mixture of disgust and concern.

Bumbleberry came to and sucked in drool that had dribbled down his mouth. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let me try it again.”

He walked to his next tree, wondering to himself, What is going on? Why am I thinking these things?

Bumblebees threw his hooves at another cherry tree, doing his best to imitate Cherry Berry, from the force of her hooves to the way she threw her mane back. Cherries filled the buckets, but a few still rolled down the piles and onto the ground.

“Almost got it.” She cheered. “Make sure the buckets are under the lower cherries and centered under the tree, otherwise they’ll roll on ya.” Taking a bucket in her mouth, she trotted over to the cart and poured her cherries in. He grabbed his buckets and added them to the cart too.

Over the course of several hours, they continued taking turns. She’d buck a tree and he’d try to imitate while she’d give him pointers. Every so often, the stallion found himself staring at her. Was she just beautiful? Or was it something else? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like it, and neither did she when she noticed.

Eventually, the trees were harvested and the cart was nearly filled. They were both pouring the last of the buckets of cherries into the cart when something unexpected happened. Something about the shimmer of her mane or the delicate flow of her fur, but Bumbleberry felt an uncontrollable urge to feel her. The hairs on his back stood up and he began to sweat. He knew it was wrong but didn’t think about it as he reached out with his hoof and stroked her hair from the top of her head to the bottom of her crest.

The urge disappeared with the awful glare she gave him. “Excuse me, Bumbleberry, what was that?”

He jumped. He didn’t what he was doing, it just sort of happened. It felt like something else had taken control of him, yet he felt like it was his own choice, albeit one he regretted. He clammered in his mind for an excuse for his behavior. “Er, there was a bug in your hair?” Cherry eyed him suspiciously as she poured the last bucket into the cart. She broke her gaze when she moved to the front of the cart and hitched herself up.

“Come on, let’s get some food” she said coldly.

They towed the cart back to the house in silence. Bumbleberry’s mind raced for a real explanation for his behavior. What was he doing, groping his boss? It’s not like she’s his age or even his type. Yesterday she didn’t seem particularly attractive, and even now, walking next to her, she didn’t appeal to him. Then why at random times does he suddenly get the urge to compliment, smell, or touch this mare? He had no idea but hoped that the urge wouldn’t come back.

Soon they arrived at the fence outside house. They unhitched themselves and started walking the short distance to the house.

“What would you like to eat?” Her question was simple and friendly, but in his head, she sounded like a seductive lounge singer making a suggestive offer. He quickly called his sanity into question.

Is she making an advance on me?

No, of course not!

But she might be. I don’t know the last time she’s been with a proper stallion.

She was just asking what you want to eat.

I’ll let her know I'm interested, just in case.

He couldn’t stop himself from giving his response, chalked full of implications.“I wouldn’t mind eating some of your cherries.” He bumped her hip with his.

Caught off guard, she stumbled sideways and yelped. “What’s that all about?” she snapped.

He grimaced. Why did I just do that?

“You’ve been acting very strangely today.”

He dramatically slapped his forehead. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bump you so hard. I was trying to be friendly.” Another excuse, maybe she’ll take it better than the last one.

“Okay…” she said hesitantly. Her sneer told him in no uncertain terms that his behavior was inappropriate. He wished he could just run away as fast as he could, before he did something else dumb.

“Maybe I should just go take lunch on my own?” he offered.

“Yeah, why don’t you do that.” Cherry’s expression turned into a formal frown. “You must have culture shock coming out here from the city. Take the afternoon off and put yourself back together and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Bumbleberry nodded in defeat before galloping off.

This isn’t right! he thought, closing the door to his room. What’s going on with me? Hitting on my boss? I really do need to put myself back together. He paced back and forth in front of his bed and gazed at a picture on his night stand of his mother and father in front of a beehive. I really wish I had somepony else to talk to. Loneliness washed over him. Where was he going to find a friend? He thought of the friendly ponies he’d met the previous day and sprang into action. Grabbing his helmet, he sped off down the road.

After crossing the bridge to Ponyville, he stopped and parked just outside the market. The street was less busy than yesterday, but it was still bustling with activity. The brown asparagus salespony stood idle at his stand while a cream-colored mare with blue and pink hair studied a cart of tomatoes across the street.

Bumbleberry walked through the market but didn’t find anypony he knew. His stomach growled at him for some food so he walked up to the hay stand where a beige stallion with a mustache stood behind the counter.

“I’d like a bowl of hay, please.”

“Of course, sir!” Reaching below the counter, he pulled out a bowl of hay.

Bumbleberry threw down a few bits and ate the hay in one bite. Immediately he felt better. His appetite sated, he wandered through the market. He was calm and felt in control of himself. Maybe I just needed to get away from Cherry?

“Hello there, Bumbleberry!” came a beautiful voice from a young mare.

He spun around and was face to face with the white unicorn from the party, Rarity. A wave of heat overcome his body and his mind clouded. He became flushed and anxious and began to shake. He wanted to jump and run around and touch her all over. No, that’s not who I am! He pushed those urges down and looked up at the mare who had greeted him.

Rarity stared at the trembling berry farmer before her. “Are you alright?”

He wanted to use words, he tried to use words, but the way she looked, the sound in her voice, it was all too much. He gave in to the urge and threw his hoofs around her. “Hello Rarity!” he cried, embracing her. The hug was amazing. Her fur felt soft under his caressing cheek, and her body squeezed nicely. It felt much like he’d imagine it felt in stories when two lovers who had been separated for a long time finally touch each other once more. He revelled in the feeling.

For Rarity, it was the second time they’d ever met, and hugging on a second meeting seemed very strange. She wasn’t even certain of his name, but she could tell something was wrong. “Is everything okay?” she asked with concern.

Bumbleberry backed away from the embrace. “Yes, I’m fine!” he said instinctively. The urge sated, he came back to his senses. “Actually, no, I’ve been having these strange feelings since this morning. And I-” he felt embarrassed. He hardly knew her and here he was dumping his feelings. “I’m sorry, you were probably busy.” He desperately wanted to talk about it, but at this rate, being alone might be best for everypony.

“No, I’m not busy. What’s going on?”

He bit his tongue, wondering what she’d think of him if she knew. She’d think I was crazy for sure!

“I promise I won’t judge you,” she reassured, as if she could read his mind.

Bumbleberry was still afraid of what he might do, but he knew if he was going to get better he’d have to trust somepony. He confessed everything he’d done to Cherry, from the lewd comment to the unexpected grope. “The worst part is that I know it’s my own choice. It feels like I have to do it or… or... I’ll explode.” He shook his head. “My brain tells me it’s wrong but…” Rarity’s purple mane seemed to sparkle in the light and Bumbleberry wanted desperately to stroke it. His eye twitched as he fought against his urge.

Rarity looked thoughtfully into the air. “Feeling like you’re going to explode is awful! I completely understand the struggle between proper behavior and being true to oneself. I often face that with many of my customers. The nerve of some of them...”

She looked back to him and caught his gaze on her hair. “It’s happening now, isn’t it?” she asked.

He managed to give a slow and controlled nod.

Rarity studied his face carefully and swore she saw hearts in his eyes.

“My my, I haven’t seen that look since Twilight was practicing her enchantments,” she remarked. She pondered for a moment with a hoof on her chin. “From the look of things, I’d say you were under a magic spell.”

Bumbleberry’s eyes went wide and the hearts disappeared. “Really? Is that really it?” It fit perfectly with the feeling of an outside force pushing him around in his mind. Maybe somepony had cast a spell on him last night.

“Maybe,” Rarity hesitated. “Twilight Sparkle would know for sure.”

“Let’s go ask her!” Bumbleberry burst, with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Yes, maybe she can help us figure this out,” she said delicately. They then headed toward the Golden Oak Library.

Rarity knocked on the door to the library with her hoof. *clop* *clop* *clop* Twilight came to the door and poked her lavender head out. Her purple and pink bangs were perfectly in place and her horn seemed to sparkle in the sun.

“Hello Rarity!” she greeted her friend warmly. “Hello-” Bumbleberry stepped into the doorway and started rubbing his mane on her neck. While this was an acceptable greeting between very close friends, the grimace on Twilight’s face indicated that their friendship was not strong enough to warrant this behavior.

“Hello Twilight Sparkle!” Bumbleberry cooed, his eyes covered in stars.

Twilight shook him off. “Is there something wrong?” she asked Rarity.

He stood awestruck as Rarity explained. “Bumbleberry isn’t feeling like himself today and I was wondering if you might know why.”

“He certainly doesn’t look like himself.” Twilight hesitated, gaze fixed to Bumbleberry. “He was quite the gentlecolt last night.”

“Could you please help?” Bumbleberry pleaded, stars still in his eyes. “I’ve been feeling very strange all morning.”

“Of course, come in.”

The inside of the library was much less festive than before. The streamers and party tables were gone, and in their place, stray books littered the room.

“It started this morning when I went to work. Cherry Berry, she looked… I felt… I mean,” he was embarrassed, but he powered through. “Everything about her, and about both of you, was just so beautiful, captivating, and wonderful. It’s like I want to wrap myself up in all of your essences. But I know it’s crazy! But I just can’t think of anything else…” he paused and stared at Twilight.

After an awkward moment, Rarity nudged him. “Go on.”

Bumbleberry snapped out of his trance and continued. “Anyway, that’s not who I am and I need help. Could you please help me?”

Twilight stood in silence, pondering the meaning of his symptoms.

“Do you think he’s under some sort of spell?” Rarity asked. “The only other time I’ve seen a stallion like this was when you were practicing your enchantments.”

“I suppose he could be charmed. I can cast a spell to dispel whatever is affecting him.”

“Please do!” Bumbleberry begged.

Twilight pointed her horn at him as she concentrated. Magical energy burst from her horn like a fountain and a pink glow enveloped the stallion, lifting him off the ground for a moment. Then the glow vanished and he fell to the floor with a thud.

“Did it work?” Rarity wondered aloud.

Bumbleberry rubbed his eyes and looked up at the mares. The stars in his eyes told all.

“It doesn’t look like it.” Twilight ventured. “How do you feel?”

He shook his head. “I still feel wrong.” His gaze started wandering over their bodies as he wondered what they felt like. He found himself thinking of excuses to touch them.

“I guess it’s not magic.” The purple unicorn concluded.

“Maybe there’s something in one of these books?” Rarity suggested.

Bumbleberry jumped up between them and put his hooves around their shoulders. “Yes, let’s look for a book!” he cheered.

Twilight and Rarity exchanged alarmed glances. “Why don’t you sit over here and look through these books?” Rarity suggested, directing him to one side of the room where a pile of books stood. “Twilight and I will handle the books on the shelves.” Bumbleberry nodded enthusiastically and sat down next to the books.

As the unicorns began looking through the books, he found himself completely distracted from his search. He couldn’t take his eyes off the mares in the room, but he was able to resist jumping up and rubbing himself against them again.

“Has anypony ever been like this to you before?” Twilight asked Rarity in a low voice so he couldn’t hear.

“No.” She responded in a similar low voice. “Except once on Hearts and Hooves day, but this is totally different. He won’t stop staring at us.”

Twilight looked back at him. He grinned widely at her and she smiled nervously back. “He does seem quite taken with us,” she whispered to Rarity. Twilight flipped through another book. “Maybe he thinks one of us will be his very special somepony?”

“But it’s no where near Hearts And Hooves day!” Rarity hissed back, dropping a book on a growing pile. “And he barely knows either of us! Why is he acting like this now? He was fine yesterday!” Both mares looked at him. He smiled mindlessly at them and they hid their feelings behind strained smiles. They continued looking through books in silence.

“I think I found something,” Twilight declared, looking through a brown book with a pony on the cover. Rarity and Bumbleberry crowded around her. Bumbleberry wrapped his hoof around Twilight’s shoulder but she ignored it. “Hundreds of years ago, all stallions, when in the presence of mares, would become competitive and unruly. Stallions would be beset with urges to hug, fondle, and caress mares.”

“I suppose that’s not all bad,” Rarity admitted, looking at Bumbleberry’s muscular body. “What pony doesn’t want to be touched from time to time?”

“That does sound like what I have.” Bumbleberry agreed.

Twilight continued reading. “These urges would build up in the stallions and push them to worse behavior. If left unchecked, stallions would commit unspeakable crimes against mares.”

Everypony frowned at each other as they digested the meaning of unspeakable crimes, and Bumbleberry withdrew his hoof from Twilight.

“Fortunately, Princess Celestia enacted a ‘safe stallion’ program. As part of the program, stallions were taught lessons from the Standards of Courtship.” Twilight put the book down. “What is the Standards of Courtship?”

“Oh, it’s a wonderful and old book!” Rarity cheered. “I have a copy from when my grandmother was a filly. It outlines proper etiquette and behavior between stallions and mares, especially when courting.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “I wonder if Prince Blueblood has ever heard of it.”

“Great!” Twilight cheered. “Bumbleberry can study the book and he should be cured.”

Bumbleberry frowned. “I’m not sure if I can do that.”

“What? Why not?”

“It’s just, I was supposed to be going through these books and I could scarcely look at them, let alone learn lessons.” Even just standing there, it was clear he was struggling to maintain composure.

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other, wondering what to do.

“Was there any other part of the ‘safe stallion’ program?” Rarity suggested.

Twilight continued to read, “Of course not all stallions learned their lessons. Such problem stallions underwent an operation known as ‘gelding’.” Twilight looked up, confused. “Gelding? What is that?”

Bumbleberry and Rarity both shrugged their shoulders and shook their heads.

“So,” Bumbleberry spoke up. “If I undergo this ‘gelding’ process, it would rid me of these urges?” Getting rid of these frantic urges was his top concern and if he had to undergo a medical procedure, so be it.

Twilight nodded. “It would seem so.” The term seemed familiar to her but she couldn’t place it.

“But who in Ponyville knows how to do that?” Rarity asked incredulously.

“I think Applejack mentioned something about it before,” Twilight recalled. “Maybe you could ask her?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Bumbleberry exclaimed. He still felt like running around and rubbing his body against the mares in front of him, but the new found hope calmed his fears. The sooner he had this urge under control, the sooner he could return to the farm and apologize to Cherry.

“One more thing,” he bowed his head, “do either of you know where Applejack lives? I don’t know and I didn’t see her at the market.”

“Of course, darling,” Rarity comforted him. “I’ll walk you there.”

Bumbleberry lit up. “Thank you, Rarity! And thank you Twilight for letting us look through your books.”

“Yes, thank you for all your help.” Rarity echoed. “Come on, let’s get you to Sweet Apple Acres and get you cured.” They both headed out the door.

“Let me know how the operation goes!” Twilight called out after them.

Safe Stallion Program

After a few minutes, Rarity and Bumbleberry were outside of Ponyville, walking down the tree-lined road to Sweet Apple Acres. Birds chirped from the nearby trees and the pony’s hooves softly patted on the dirt. Rarity lead the way with her shining purple hair. The troubled magenta stallion followed behind, unable to take his eyes off her tail, which swayed back and forth as she walked.

“... I’ve always considered the Standards of Courtship the gold standard for all relationships between ponies.” Rarity rambled to Bumbleberry. “I’ve read it many times since I was a young filly. I mean, has anyone ever taught you anything about courtship?”

“Yea…” he responded mindlessly.

Rarity looked back and noticed his eyes move back and forth as she swayed her tail. She gave him an amused smile. While continuing to walk, she made her tail dance, swinging it up and down and every which way. His head bobbed up and down and every which way with her tail. Then she stopped quickly and he bumped into her.

Bumbleberry shook himself from his trance. “I’m so sorry! What were you saying?”

She giggled at him. “We’re here!”

Bumbleberry looked up and saw the big red barn of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack’s orange fur and cowboy hat sparkled in the sun. She held a watering can in her mouth over some sunflowers near the fence.

“Why hello there!” Applejack called out, dropping the can on the ground. “Here to pick up some more apples, Bumbleberry?”

Bumbleberry trotted forward to embrace her, but Rarity pulled him back by his tail.

A surprised look appeared on Applejack’s face. “Y’all alright?”

“Well,” Rarity pulled Bumbleberry to the ground where he chose to stay seated. “Bumbleberry here hasn’t been himself today, and we’re trying to follow Celestia’s ‘safe stallion’ program to try to get him better.”

Applejack’s face contorted in thought. “‘Safe stallion’ program? I think I remember Granny Smith mention it when I was a young filly, but I don’t know nothin’ about that.”

“According to Twilight,” Bumbleberry explained, “you might know about a procedure called ‘gelding’ which might help?” His face was bright and hopeful.

The farmer pony’s eyes went wide and her pupils became small. “Gelding? Are you sure about that?”

“What, wouldn’t it help?” Bumbleberry pleaded.

“Uh…” Applejack hid her hoof behind her hat. “I suppose it could help some… what kind of problems have you been having?”

Bumbleberry blushed with embarrassment and looked to Rarity.

“He’s been throwing himself at every mare in sight and making inappropriate advances! It’s no way for a respectable stallion to behave.”

“I see.” Applejack nodded with understanding. “I guess gelding would stop you from throwing yourself at mares. We can do it, if you really wanted it.”

“What is gelding, exactly?” Bumbleberry asked. Rarity’s ears perked up to hear the answer as well.

Applejack’s lips tightened. “You don’t know?” They shook their heads. She snickered before explaining as delicately as she could. “Well… you know the bits that make a stallion different from a mare? Gelding is when you remove some of them.”

Bumbleberry’s ears flopped down, his face frowned and he sat on his rump with his hind legs crossed.

Rarity gave a horrified gasp. “How barbaric!”

“But it would certainly help with those ‘urges’, if you know what I mean.” Applejack burst into a fit of giggles. “If you really want, we can perform the gelding right here on the farm. I’ve got everything for it in the animal barn…”

The stallion shook his head quickly.

Rarity frowned at the apple farmer. “We won’t be needing your services today,” she huffed, “and Bumbleberry certainly won’t be getting gelded.”

“Suit yourself.” Applejack smiled. “I do hope you feel better soon, Bumbleberry!”

“Come on, maybe we can find another way to help you.” Rarity said hopefully.

Soon Bumbleberry was again entranced by Rarity’s tail. To him, it seemed like a magical dancing carrot directing him where to go. He hoped that he would be allowed to consume it if he waited just a little longer. She continued to amuse herself by tossing it this way and that. As they neared Ponyville, Rarity spotted Fluttershy setting up for a picnic near a pond with her pet bunny, Angel. She decided to ask her for some advice regarding Bumbleberry’s problem.

She walked up to her with Bumbleberry trailing behind. “Hello Fluttershy!” she greeted her friend warmly. She continued to swish her tail mindlessly, keeping the magenta pony in a trance.

“Oh, hello Rarity!” Fluttershy said. “How are you this afternoon?”

“I’m quite well, thank you.”

“And how are you, Bumbleberry?” she asked, recognizing him.

“Fine…” Bumbleberry said distantly.

Fluttershy gave a confused look to Rarity.

“Don’t mind him,” Rarity explained, “he’s been acting very inappropriately today. He’s completely enthralled with every mare we meet. He throws himself at them and ogles them without shame!” She looked back at his dazed expression. “Swishing my tail is the only thing that distracts him from such unbecoming behavior.”

“Oh goodness! And when he sees a mare, he can’t think of anything else and it feels like he needs to do...” she blushed, “things... to them or he’ll explode?”

Both Rarity and Bumbleberry looked at her in surprise. “Yes, is exactly what it feels like,” Bumbleberry responded.

“Oh dear. It sounds like you’re in heat!”

“What does the temperature have to do with his behavior?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Fluttershy explained, “lots of animals go into heat during their mating season. They usually become excitable and can’t think of anything but finding a mate.” Fluttershy put her hoof on her chin in thought. “But I’ve never heard of a pony going into heat.”

“Maybe the ‘Safe Stallion Program’ is supposed to keep stallions from going into heat?” Rarity wondered aloud.

“Do you know how to cure it?” Bumbleberry asked, stepping forward.

“Usually, it goes away on its own.”

“But how long?”

“A few weeks.” Fluttershy tilted her head down, knowing this wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.

He slumped onto his rump. “A few weeks? What am I supposed to tell Cherry? I’m supposed to be at the farm!” Bumbleberry was panicked. A few weeks felt like forever, and he’d certainly lose his apprenticeship. And how often would it come back? Was that his destiny? To be forever alone? Maybe he could find a place where mares weren’t so abundant.

“Is there anything else we can do?” Rarity asked. “His behavior has been very unbecoming of a stallion, and I’m afraid that, if left unchecked, he might do some very naughty things.”

“That would be a problem,” Fluttershy affirmed. “Sometimes, creatures in heat calm down if they’re kept away from potential mates. Maybe...”

“Keep him away from potential mates?” Rarity echoed as a plan began to form in her mind. “I think we can do that.”

A slice of orange bounced off the back of Fluttershy’s head and fell to the ground. She turned and saw Angel pouting and tapping the ground with his foot.

“I’m sorry, but I promised Angel I would go on a picnic with him this afternoon.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright. You’ve been very helpful. Thank you for talking with us.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Rarity walked mindlessly through Ponyville, deep in thought. The idea of keeping Bumbleberry away from mares intrigued her and she thought hard about the logistics of of it. How could he be isolated from mares? At the farm, Cherry Berry would be ever present, and she doubted the farm pony would understand. Where could he be kept?

Bumbleberry followed beside Rarity with a bowed head. Depression was written all over the way he walked. His shoulders drooped, his hooves lazily tred on the ground, and his usually bouncy tail was lowered and dragging behind him.

Rarity pitied him. It is such an awful feeling to be pulled in opposite directions like he was. She remembered the time she wondered if her gorgeous mane would be forever soiled when her cutie mark dragged her out to the middle of the badlands and told her she was destined for gems if she would dig in the dirt for them. It was only from the deep satisfaction they gave her that she could get through the messy process of mining, and it was always worth it.

She heard a sigh from Bumbleberry that expressed both his yearning for touch and his longing to be rid of it. She could see his internal conflict was tearing him apart and he would be willing to do anything to settle his mind.

An idea leaped into her mind so quickly and suddenly that Rarity stopped walking. “Why didn’t I think of it before!” she exclaimed.

Bumbleberry looked up at her, his confusion pushing away his thoughts. “What?”

Rarity sprang into a gallop and he followed behind. “The book, the Standards of Courtship. You need to read it.”

“But it’s so difficult to sit still!”

Rarity threw her tail across his face, brushing his cheeks with her soft hair. He blushed. “I’m sure even you would be willing to sit and study a book if you knew it would help you.”

Bumbleberry’s mind was spinning. “I… I guess I can try.”

Rarity slowed to a walk and led him into Carousel Boutique. Once inside, she closed the door and turned to Bumbleberry. “How are you feeling?” She requested.

“I still feel crazy.” He looked into her eyes and it appeared as though hearts were floating all around her. “Is this really what it’s like to be in heat?”

“It might be,” Rarity considered. “Or it might be a latent disposition that wasn’t weeded out by the ‘safe stallion’ program.” She looked at him again. “Are you in any pain or discomfort?”

Rarity looked like she was glowing, absolutely stunning. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he saw something so beautiful and captivating. He shook his head back to sense. “No, it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t even feel bad. I’m just afraid of what I might do.” He began to stare at her and his eyes glazed over. He suddenly felt the urge to hug her again. “I really want to touch you all over.” He blushed. “Did I just say that aloud?”

“Of course.” Rarity grimaced at him. “Let me get the Standards of Courtship.” She dashed into her room and returned with a worn brown book with yellow accents on the corners and spine. “Here you go!” she levitated it in front of him. “I will lend you this book if you promise to study it. Do you think you can do that?”

“I can try.” The stallion said hesitantly. “But where can I study? I can’t go back to the farm.” He wondered what Cherry Berry would do if he slipped up again. “And I don’t know anywhere else.”

“Well, if you promise not to bother me, you can use that table over there.” She pointed to a low work table in the corner. “I have to finish up some outfits for some clients later this afternoon so you’ll be able to study alone.”

“Oh, thank you!” he cheered. He stepped towards her and spread his hooves for a hug.

Rarity stepped into his hug, but pushed him to the table and sat him down, moving the book in front of him. “Be a good safe stallion and give it a read. I’ll check on you in a few hours.” She trotted up the stairs to her bedroom and inspiration room.

Bumbleberry took a deep breath and let it out. For what seemed like the first time today, he felt like he could relax. He knew he was still wound up inside, but right now, he felt he could finally concentrate. Was it that all the mares were gone, or was it the hug from Rarity? He shook his head and opened the book, focusing on reading.

Standards of Courtship was written in a very old-fashioned way. The introduction by its author, Love Hearts, assumed the reader already knew the book and highlighted its differences over its previous versions. Bumbleberry flipped past it to the first chapter. Love Hearts defined courtship as the “seemingly superfluous ceremonial ritual for a proper mare to rate and select an eligible stallion.” Ms. Hearts must be from Canterlot. Bumbleberry thought to himself. She also coined the euphemism “very special somepony” to describe the subject of a romantic partnership.

Hearts described the ideal physical aspects of a very special somepony. She included relative age, height, length, shape of the mane and tail, color and quality of fur, and even the color of the eyes. “It’s important for the colors of a partnership to be complementary so as to be pleasing to the eyes of others in the herd.” She also wrote for several pages about how a cutie mark reveals personality and how it’s important to find one complimentary to one’s own cutie mark.

He had just started the chapter on manners when a bell announced the entrance of somepony into the shop. Looking up, Bumbleberry saw a blue mare with a blue and white mane and a yellow hourglass cutie mark walk in. Immediately the sense of urgency from before returned. He felt his heart beat fast and started scuffing his front hoof on the floor.

“Hello, do you know where Rarity is?” she asked him.

Rather than answer her, he started evaluating her physical aspects. Same age, good height, good length, so far so good. Bumbleberry thought. Blue fur, white and royal blue mane, pale blue eyes; yes, she matches my colors well. He started analyzing her cutie mark. The yellow hourglass is half filled, what on earth does that mean?

“May I ask what your cutie mark means?” he asked as Rarity came down the stairs and stepped into the room.

The blue pony frowned at him. “Isn’t it rude to ask about a cutie mark before asking one’s name?”

This faux pas made Rarity jump. “Don’t mind him!” she yelped. She ran behind him and pushed him up the stairs into the bedroom. “Bumbleberry, why don’t you wait in here while I take care of Minuette.” She closed the door behind him and ran to attend to her customer.

Through the door, Bumbleberry could only hear the muffled conversation between them, something about the choice of fabrics and trying on the dress for size. Trying his best to ignore them, he looked around the room. It was clear that Rarity took the “organized chaos” approach to her inspiration. Strewn about the floor were swatches of fabric, cut parts of clothes, spools of ribbon, pins, pin cushions, scissors, needles, thread, and all manner of clothing making tools. To one side were bolts of fabric in several shelves. Along the wall, below several bay windows, stood several white mannequin ponies with their hooves outstretched. Most were bare but a few were wearing pieces of clothing. I’d better not touch anything, he thought.

He continued scanning the room. In the other corner of the room was a lavish four-post canopy bed. Three large red curtains were hung and drawn on each side of the bed, trimmed with golden tassels. Matching red satin bedsheets were used over the mattress and pillows. The pillows themselves were thrown about and the comforter was pushed to one side. Rarity’s white robe with purple faux fur trim and purple eyemask were tossed on the bed.

She’s been so good to me today, he thought. I’ll make her bed to repay her generosity. He grabbed the robe with his mouth. He tried to ignored how soft it was as he tossed over his shoulders. He picked up the eyemask with his teeth and paused. He suddenly felt enraptured with the scent of the white mare’s natural feminine aroma. His eyes glazed over as he hugged himself in the robe. He rubbed the satin and fuzziness over himself and drew in as much of her lovely smell as possible before breathing out.

He shook himself back to his senses and neighed. What am I doing? I’m just making this bed. He gripped the sheets in his mouth and pulled them tight over the bed. He threw the pillows into place at the head of the bed and put the mask near the pillows. He mouthed the robe to put it back but stopped. It was her scent again. There’s no harm in holding on to this, he rationalized, rubbing the fabric between over his neck. Besides, it’s cold up here.

But that’s no way to handle a lady’s nightwear, the sane part of himself thought. Just put it on the bed and walk away.

I am a bit cold though. He found himself slipping the silky sleeves of the robe over his hooves. I’m sure she won’t mind.

No! He bit at the robe as if to take it off. Instead, he threw himself onto the bed and was quickly immersed in her satin sheets and feminine aroma. Rarity’s scent and the sensation of the fabrics permeated his being and he lost himself. He crawled under the covers and rolled around, kicking the pillows everywhere.

“What are you doing!?” A mare cried out.

Bumbleberry sat up and froze, causing the sheet to fly up and reveal him. Rarity had come up the stairs and was standing in the doorway. They stared at each other as the sheet slowly settled on the bed.

His sanity came rushing back as he searched for words. “I was cold?” His excuse sounded hollow.

“Is that my nightgown?” Rarity yelled incredulously.

Bumbleberry looked at the robe he was wearing. “Yes?” Guilt and shame washed over him like ocean waves on a ship in a hurricane. His compulsions and anxiety disappeared in the wake of these overwhelming emotions. His head hung low, his ears were turned out, and he sat on the bed pitifully.

Rarity drew in a deep breath as if to yell but instead let it out slowly to relax. “What happened?”

“I… I…” he stammered, trying to put words to his feelings. “...I don’t know.”

She shook her head. “I think you know what happened,” she scolded. She took another deep breath. “I know you’re embarrassed and afraid of what I think, but if I’m going to help, you need to trust me and tell me what’s going on.”

“Do you promise not to judge me?” he squeaked.

Rarity nodded. “I promise.”

“The bed smelled like you,” he admitted. “And the robe too.”

Pink spots appeared on the mare’s normally white cheeks. “You put on my robe and romped around in my bed because it smelled like me?”

Bumbleberry nodded. “That and it felt good,” he explained. “Your choice of fabric for your bed is exquisite.”

“Why thank you!” She revelled in the compliment. “I too find it quite comfortable.” She then gave him a commanding stare. “Please get off the bed so I can make it.”

He quickly jumped out of the bed, causing the robe to flair out as he moved. She used her magic to lift the pillows and blankets into place, making the bed look perfect. She hung the eye mask on an unseen hook on one of the posts.

“And my robe, please?” she asked.

“Sorry” He quickly shook off the robe and she levitated it into place with the mask.

She shook her head at him. “What are we going to do with you?” she sighed.

“I don’t know!” Bumbleberry shivered with vulnerability and his voice quivered. “But I don’t want to be gelded!” He sniffled a few times before he threw his head back. Tears flew from his eyes as he began sobbing.

“There there, darling!” Rarity instinctively trotted towards him and hugged him. “No one is going to be gelded.” She held his head against her shoulder. “Certainly not a smart, respectful, capable stallion like you.”

Bumbleberry pulled his head back and looked at her. “Really?”

“Of course! You’re just going through a rough patch right now. I’m sure you’ll be better in no time.”

Her words of encouragement made him feel better. He stopped crying and sniffed back his tears. “You’re right,” he said, building up his confidence. “I just need to get through this and I’ll be fine.”

“That's the spirit!” she cheered, stepping back. “Now what about the Standards of Courtship? Did you learn anything?”

“I learned that other pony’s colors and cutie mark are important when choosing a very special somepony.”

Rarity thought back to Minuette. “Is that why you asked about her cutie mark?”

Bumbleberry bit his lip and nodded.

“And that was the first thing you did?”

He braced himself and nodded again.

She thought hard and then shrugged. “I suppose it is an improvement.”

“It is?” He was relieved but confused .

She nodded her head. “Earlier today you were throwing yourself at every mare you met, but now you’re just asking impolite questions. It’s small, but an improvement nonetheless.”

Bumbleberry blinked wide-eyed. He had improved! Instead of using his body, he used his words. He smiled at the realization. “I’m getting better!” He jumped up and down in excitement. The feelings of guilt began to ebb and soon he felt the anxiety from before. He stopped jumping. “I’d better read more before I lose control again!” he exclaimed.

“Good idea,” Rarity responded as he ran down the stairs. She smiled after him.

Standards of Courtship

Bumbleberry sat at the short work table in Carousel Boutique. Rarity was upstairs in her inspiration room humming while she worked on her latest creation. Without any distractions, Bumbleberry was able to suppress his urges and concentrate on becoming a safer stallion. He opened up his borrowed book, Standards of Courtship by Love Hearts, and continued where he left off.

The Standards of Courtship described manners as “interpony courtesies that distinguish a mare or stallion from other ponies.” Being a pony of class meant having good manners. It covered all the manners Bumbleberry had learned as a child, such as saying please and thank you, and how to take turns in a conversation and not interrupt. He also read new ones like being sure to knock before entering or thanking a host when visiting another pony’s house. Manners seemed to be of great importance and referenced other sections of the book that included exercises on practicing manners. The fuchsia pony made a mental note to come back to this section and read on.

Love Hearts also wrote on how common courtesies are born from mutual respect for other ponies. This reverence is noted by using titles when addressing others, especially when courting. For example, “Miss” would typically be used before a mare’s name while “Mister” would be used before a stallion’s name. “Doctor” and “Princess” also are also common titles. I suppose I should use Miss with Rarity? Bumbleberry wondered.

The next section discussed a formal courtship between a stallion and a mare. When it comes to courting, discretion is of the utmost importance. Direct communication about the courtship itself indicates poor adherence to social graces and rules. Such a pony is unlikely to be a good domestic partner because he or she is unlikely to follow the rules of the household.

Potential very special someponies typically meet at parties, as that is the traditional way of meeting friends. The book described numerous reasons for throwing a party including birthdays, special occasions, or even just because. However, it is rude to the other guests to host a party and then attempt to court one of the guests. To avoid this situation, Hearts recommends hiring a professional party-thrower to host instead of hosting one’s self, leaving one free to court. Bumbleberry wondered if Pinkie Pie was a professional party-thrower.

For a mare to court a stallion, she should ask him to perform a service for her. This show of attention is also a show of approval to the stallion. Conversely, stallions show their preference for mares by offering their services to them. The difficulty of the service indicates the level of affection. A mare asking for an easy service indicates a lot of affection, as she does not want her very special somepony to work hard. A stallion offering a difficult service indicates a lot of affection as he does not want his very special somepony to work hard. So typically mares ask for difficult tasks and gradually ask for easier ones whereas stallions offer easy tasks and gradually offer harder ones. The book contained a huge number of example tasks, but a few of them, in order from easiest to most difficult, were opening doors, getting drinks, pulling carts, cooking food, and pro bono professional services.

Hearts pointed out that changing gender roles have sometimes caused the services of courting to be inverted, where the mares offer and the stallions ask, but at the time of publishing, it was considered unconventional.

Once a service is finished, another service could be requested or offered to indicate that the courtship is going well. Refusal of service would indicate that the courtship is going poorly, and that the mare and stallion should look elsewhere for their very special somepony. Services are often arranged for several days ahead, when both parties are free. The Standards of Courtship points out that one mare could easily receive service from several stallions at once, rating each of them as a potential very special somepony. Similarly, one stallion can provide service to several mares at once.

The ultimate sign of affection in the courtship is when the guise of service is dropped and the two ponies arrange time to spend together without a service in mind. Bumbleberry wondered if Hearts and Hooves day was created so ponies could schedule a date to drop the guise and instead just spend time together.

A short while later, there was a knock at the front door of the Carousel Boutique. Bumbleberry looked up from his book at the door. Rarity came running down the stairs. “Coming!” she trilled.

Suddenly Bumbleberry felt himself being pushed into one of the changing rooms. “Wait in here until I’m done,” the seamstress ordered. “I don’t want you getting into any more trouble while my customer is here.” She used her magic to close the curtains and threw open the door.

“Hello Rainbow Dash!” Rarity greeted her guest. “Here for your pick-up?”

“I sure am!” Rainbow replied. She stepped inside and Rarity ran across the room.

Bumbleberry listened through the curtain.

“I have your outfit right here.”

“I’m so excited to have a Shadowbolt costume!”

“I designed it off a pattern for the Wonderbolts flying suit.”

“It looks awesome! I can’t wait to wear it for Nightmare Moon Night.”

“Well try it on first. It fits tighter than most outfits so it might need adjustments.”

Rainbow Dash stepped into one of the other changing rooms and zipped up the outfit. Curiosity pushed Bumbleberry to peak through the curtains to see Rainbow in the costume. She stepped down to the floor and exchanged words with Rarity, but he didn’t hear them because he was so enthralled with what he saw. Rainbow Dash’s feminine features and agile body were accentuated by the tight-fit suit. Her wings were bare, showing off her delicate feathers while her powerful legs were outlined by the fabric. She shifted a few times, moving her body underneath the material a bit. She took off and flew in a small circle before landing again. Watching her move so gracefully made him start to step in place nervously.

“It’s a little tight,” she admitted. “I think I need a little more room to breathe if I’m going to be doing my amazing tricks in this thing.”

Rarity nodded with understanding. “Of course dear. That’s why we do these fittings.”

“I understand.” Rainbow Dash bowed her head low and extended her back legs, trying to stretch out her back in the suit. Bumbleberry didn’t know why he was compelled to step out of the dressing room and approach Rainbow Dash. Both mares looked up at him.

“Oh, Bumbleberry, I didn’t know you were here,” the athlete greeted him.

Rarity was aghast to see him, and didn’t have a chance to react before he spoke.

“Hello Miss Rainbow Dash, it’s nice to see you today too.” Bumbleberry bit his lips, wondering if that was enough manners. “Would you like some help taking off that suit?”

“Sure! It’s a little too tight and I’m not sure if I can take it off myself.” She turned, exposing the zipper to him.

The stallion smiled widely and shook with excitement. Rarity stood with mouth agape. “Did … did you just…” Rarity stammered.

Bumbleberry unzipped the suit with his teeth and Rainbow let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, just a little looser, if you could, Rarity.”

Rarity blinked. “Of course!” she said, levitating the suit into the air. “I’ll let out the seams a bit. It should be ready tomorrow.”

“Thank you Rarity, and thank you Bumbleberry!” she smiled at each of them and walked out the door.

As soon as the door closed Rarity dropped the suit and turned to the stallion. “What was that?” She demanded.

Bumbleberry frowned. “I think that was Rainbow Dash turning down my advances.”

“What?”

“According to the book, if she accepted it, she should have asked for another service.”

Rarity looked surprised at him. Then she shook her head. “Well she probably wasn’t expecting it. First, Rainbow Dash is hardly up to date on the finer points of courtship. She doesn’t even like to read!” She looked sideways at the door. “Second, this is a professional establishment, not a party. She wasn’t expecting a stallion to try to court her here.”

Bumbleberry nodded, jotting down notes on a notebook with a pencil. “What about her colors, do you think they complimented mine?”

“I… well, yes they do.” She was surprised at how much he took to the book. “But try to be a less direct. It’s rude to talk the colors of ponies, even to your friends.”

The earth pony took a few more notes. “Alright, one last question. Did you need help folding that suit?”

“No, I…” Rarity stopped as she took in his offer. It was clear he was using the courting techniques he just read. Thinking on it for a moment, Rarity cleared her throat and spoke in a suggestive tone. “Ahem, what I mean is no, I couldn’t possibly trouble you for such a task.”

She smiled coyly and Bumbleberry smiled back.

“Are you sure? It really is no trouble!”

Rarity tossed her hair and looked away. “Well, if it’s really no trouble, I suppose you can.”

He jumped at the consent and then bounced over to the suit. He carefully folded it and gently placed it at her hooves. “Here you are, Miss Rarity!”

The mare stepped in place and cooed with excitement. She was so thrilled to be treated like a proper lady! She then shook herself off and stood still. “Thank you, Mister Bumbleberry.” She bent her front leg and bowed to him. Then she levitated the suit and turned to the stairs.

“Do you need any help upstairs?”

She stopped and looked at him. “Um…” She knew this question was coming but didn’t know how to put it. “Bumbleberry, I think you’re a very nice pony, and I know you want to be somepony’s very special somepony, but…” she stammered. “Don’t you think you should be studying the Standards of Courtship?” she smiled weakly at him, hoping he’d understand.

Bumbleberry frowned and looked at the floor. “I understand,” he despaired. “But…” he sat up and puffed out his stallion chest. “Isn’t there anything I could help you with upstairs?” His face was proud but his eyes were pleading.

Rarity giggled at the sight of him. “Yes, I’m sure I can find something I could use help with,” she admitted. “But only so you can practice what you’ve learned!” Bumbleberry frowned at her and looked up at her with the biggest sad eyes he could muster. “I’ll even rate you as a potential very special somepony.” He grinned widely and she blushed. “I mean somepony ELSE’s very special somepony!” Embarrassed, she ran up the stairs with Bumbleberry right behind her.

Tailored to One's Needs

The view from the second floor of the Carousel Boutique was stunning. All of Ponyville could be seen through the great bay windows, and the setting orange sun in the distance painted Equestria in a bright orange and yellow glow. The light cast long shadows from the mannequins, causing the silhouettes of Rarity’s designs to appear on the floor. The place was an absolute mess, typical of Rarity's inspiration room.

Rarity and Bumbleberry stepped in. The unicorn moved one of the empty mannequins forward and then fitted the Shadowbolt suit onto it.

“I usually work alone,” she said, as she looked around for something Bumbleberry to do. “Most ponies only get in the way and disrupt my creative process.”

“I’ll stay out of your way, I promise!” The enthralled stallion cheered. “I’ll do anything you’d like!”

“Of course you will, darling.” Rarity looked up. “Ah, I know what you can do. See those small windows? I’ve always wanted small curtains around them. Could you put them up for me?”

Bumbleberry looked up at the windows. They were very high off the ground and were difficult to get to. “Do you have a ladder?” he asked.

“No, I don’t.” Rarity said, rummaging through some of fabric. “Here, you can use these for the drapes.” She levitated a small metal rod and two small curtains to his hooves; everything he needed for the task. “Do you think you can do it?” she asked with a smile.

Bumbleberry looked at the equipment, and then up at the windows. The task seemed ridiculous. He looked at Rarity to tell her that he couldn’t do it, but seeing her face gave him those amorous feelings from before. He felt like he would move a mountain if it meant she would think well of him. She smiled at him and he nodded. “Of course, Miss Rarity, anything for you!”

“Splendid!” Rarity cheered. “I have a few more things I want to do before my work is done.” She put on her red cat eye glasses, grabbed a seam-ripper, and started undoing the stitches of Rainbow Dash’s costume.

Bumbleberry looked up again at the windows. Without a ladder, getting up there would be nearly impossible. He could go and look for one, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Rarity’s side. Instead he looked around the room for something he could stand on. The sewing desk and mannequins were far too short to give him the boost he needed. He thought about turning the fainting couch in the corner on its side, but it’d still be too short. The only things tall enough were the bedposts, and they were attached to the bed. He looked at it and nodded.

“May I move your bed, Miss Rarity?” he asked.

“Yes, of course dear,” she answered somewhat absent-mindedly, not looking up from her work.

He walked around the bed, put his head against it, and pushed. The bed wasn’t budging. He took a brief pause and tried several more times before giving up. He wondered if he could do anything to make it easier to move. Unfortunately, the only thing would be to remove the mattress.

He gave a heavy sigh and started taking the sheets off the bed, folding them onto the fainting couch. The scent of the sheets once again met his senses, but somehow he was able to concentrate on the task at hand and not get distracted. Once everything was moved off, he put his head under the plain mattress and pushed it off the frame. He awkwardly managed to lean it against the wall. Rarity looked up to see him rearrange her furniture, but continued working without a comment.

After all that, he tried once more to move the frame. He pushed as hard as he could. Beads of sweat appeared on his brow, and the frame started to move. Bumbleberry quietly celebrated and slowly pushed the frame so the bedpost was directly under the window.

Next he looked up at the tall bed posts. Climbing to the top was going to be a task on its own. Fortunately he’d left the canopy up. He untied it from the posts so it hung down, giving him something to hang onto.

He took a deep breath before attempting an acrobatic feat. He jumped forward into the bed frame, and clamped his mouth onto one of the canopy walls. He then swung to reach another canopy wall and grab it with his front hooves. He let go with his mouth and was able to swing his back legs around the post under the window. Grabbing the post with his mouth and hooves, he inched his way up until he was precariously balanced at the top, holding onto the post with his hind legs.

That wasn’t so bad. He thought, though he was out of breath. He then looked down. There on the ground was the rod and curtains to be hung. He slapped his forehead as his foolishness.

“Um, Miss Rarity?” he asked quietly. “Could I trouble you to hand me the curtains and rod, please?”

Rarity, levitating a needle and thread and some fabric, looked up at the awkwardly hanging Bumbleberry. She smiled mischieviously directly at him. “I’m sorry, I’m very busy. Was my task too hard?” she taunted him.

He smiled with understanding. She was testing him. Her refusal sent shivers of delight over his body. “Of course not! I can do it, don’t mind me!” He waved and smiled at her. Suddenly he lost his balance and fell off the bedpost with a thud. Rarity watched as he stood back up before getting back to her work.

After a few tries, Bumbleberry managed to get back up the bedpost with the materials in his mouth. Once there, he hammered in the rod with his hooves and hung the curtain. “How’s that, Rarity?” he called down from his perch.

She looked up. “It’s difficult to tell with the bed in the way, could you move it back?” She smiled at him and batted her eyes.

Bumbleberry’s mouth tightened. If she weren’t so beautiful… “Of course, I’ll move it back.” He dropped down from the post and sweat again as he pushed the bed frame back to where it was supposed to be. “How about now?” he asked, out of breath.

Rarity smiled at him again. “I just can’t tell anything if the bed isn’t made. Could you please move the mattress back and put the sheets back on?" Her tone was taunting and her body language teasing.

Bumbleberry shook with excitement. Somehow, her words egged him on. "Right, I'll put it all back."

He carefully moved the mattress back onto the frame and quickly put the sheets and pillows on the bed, stopping only once take in their scent. He then turned to Rarity.

"I'm done," he declared. "What do you think of the curtains?"

Rarity looked up at the curtains thoughtfully, and then back at Bumbleberry. She smiled widely and wiggled her eyebrows mischievously.

"They're perfect!" she cried. She rushed over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Time seemed to stop for Bumbleberry. A kiss from this purple-maned pony was everything he'd wanted. Her lips were soft and gentle. Her fur tickled his face. He could smell the floral wash she'd used that morning. He closed his eyes as he basked in the sensation and committed it to memory.

“Are you alright?” she asked him, concerned. “Did you enjoy the task I gave you, or was it too hard?”

He shook his head. “It was hard, but not too hard. It was perfect.” He smiled at her.

She nodded happily. “Great! As for the curtains, I’ve changed my mind about them.” Using her magic, she plucked the rod and drapes from where Bumbleberry so carefully placed them and brought them back to the ground.

Bumbleberry looked up with mouth agape at where the curtain used to be. Did she really just do that?

Rarity covered her mouth as she started snickering at him. “You… you should see the look on your face.”

He gave Rarity a little frown. Rarity couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Were you planning that the whole time?” Bumbleberry asked incredulously, laughing a little.

The crafty unicorn nodded as they both laughed. “Yes. I didn’t have anything for you to do, so I had you do that.” She looked at Bumbleberry’s astonished face. “Isn’t the act more important than the product anyway?”

Bumbleberry’s eyes looked to his cheek where she had kissed him. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Now, are you up for one more task? I do have something you could help me with, for real this time.”

They smiled at each other.

A Statement of Fashion

Bumbleberry felt ridiculous. Rarity’s request about the curtains was one thing, but this was over the top. He stepped out of the dressing room on the first floor of the Carousel Boutique and stood in front of her, cringing. “How do I look?” He asked.

“You look fabulous, darling!” she reassured. “Now walk down the aisle and back. I want to see the way it flows.”

He did as he was told. At the end of the aisle, he saw in the mirror how he looked in the outfit she had given him. It was a long red evening gown with a slit up the front. The fabric swayed, revealing the short red heels she’d instructed him to wear. She had even put him in a necklace, earrings, and makeup. The whole outfit was topped off with a large floppy hat with red and blue flowers. He made a face at himself as he turned at the end of the aisle and walked back.

Rarity shook her head. “No no no, you have to walk with more sway. In fact, it’s less of a walk and more of a sashay.”

Bumbleberry walked up and down the aisle again, trying to sway more.

“Tsk tsk tsk, more hips, and put your tail into it,” the fashionista instructed. “Watch how I do it.”

The stallion watched as the mare walked. His eyes fixed to her tail as it swayed back and forth, eclipsing and revealing her round bottom. When she got to the end, she turned sharply and smiled. Her big eyes sparkled and Bumbleberry gasped. She then tilted her head at him and walked purposefully back. The look and feel of Rarity’s strut made him start to sweat and get excited.

She finished and spoke to him. “Did you see what I did? I want you to walk just like that so I can get a feel of how that dress looks.”

Bumbleberry saluted. “Yes ma’am!” He sashayed down the hall and back, stopping to swing his tail and look back at Rarity. When he finished, she clapped her hooves together. “I am a genius!” she cried. “That dress looks amazing!” She pushed him into the dressing room. “Now try this one.” She levitated a lime green outfit to him from a stack of outfits. “I want to see how this one fits you.

“Why do you have dressing rooms?” he asked as he changed. “Wouldn’t it be better for you to put the clothes on me yourself?”

“The dressing room allows sophisticated ponies to prepare themselves completely before presenting themselves. That way, others can’t observe the process it took to look so beautiful, or get a glimpse of the undergarments for the outfit,” Rarity explained. “Keeping an air of mystery is vital to a mare’s proper form.”

“But I’m not a mare!” he protested. He could feel her smile in silence from the other side of the curtain.

Over the course of an hour, Bumbleberry tried on several of Rarity’s creations. There were blue dresses, black dresses, vintage saddle outfits, and even costumes. He’d give his best walk and Rarity would rate her creation, taking notes and what worked and what didn’t.

“I have one more outfit for you to put on,” Rarity announced, handing him yet another set of clothes.

“Alright!” Despite the tedium of putting on and taking off clothes, Bumbleberry had found he was very much enjoying himself. Somehow, being showered with attention, coupled with smooth fabrics and superior fashion, made him feel good. Most importantly, he was focused on his tasks and felt in control of himself.

He stepped out of the dressing room once more, standing confidently, though somewhat confused. The outfit was a simple black dress with a white lacy apron, bib, and frilly short sleeves. It also had a small white hair net. “What is this outfit?” he asked.

“It’s a vintage costume worn by actors who played soubrette roles in opera,” Rarity said casually. “Soubrettes were known for their lighthearted and coquettish ways, and often wore a maid outfit like this one.”

“I see.” Bumbleberry bit his lip. “Shall I sashay down the aisle?”

“First, you need to finish putting on the outfit. You forgot the leggings!” Rarity levitated the pair of sheer black leggings from the dressing room where he had left them.

“I tried putting them on, but I couldn’t get it,” he explained. “Besides, are they really necessary? I thought you were watching the look of the skirts as I walked in them?”

Rarity smiled mischievously. “That’s right, but now I want you to put this outfit on.” She instructed him “I’ll help you. Stand on your front hooves.”

The stallion leaned forward onto his hooves, holding his back legs in the air, causing the skirt to fall forward over his body, exposing his rear. Rarity expertly manipulated the leggings over his legs and up to his waist. She threaded his tail through a hole and fluffed it out. The process was rather humiliating for Bumbleberry, but he accepted that this was what she wanted. She gently lowered his hind quarters and replaced the skirt over his legs.

“Now I’d like you to do something different,” the unicorn began. “I have a guest coming later and I want this place cleaned before they arrive.”

“A guest?” he cried.

She used her magic to bring a vacuum cleaner over to him. “Please vacuum the floor while I put away these clothes.”

Bumbleberry stared at her for a moment, wondering who would be coming. “Chop chop!” Rarity clomped on the ground. “This place isn’t going to clean itself.”

“Yes Miss Rarity!” Bumbleberry shook himself, stood on his hind legs and began vacuuming. Rarity levitated the clothes and went upstairs.

When he was done, Rarity gave him another task. Chore after chore, he tidied the table, ironed the curtains, folded clothes, cleaned dishes, and even baked pastries, all to her specifications. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it for Bumbleberry to see Rarity’s smiling face.

“You’ve been such an amazing stallion this evening!” Rarity complimented.

Bumbleberry preened his dress. “Thank you!”

“How are you feeling?” She asked earnestly. “Are you still having trouble concentrating?

The fuchsia stallion thought about it. He’d felt focused all throughout the chores. “Actually, I-” suddenly there was a knock at the door. Bumbleberry tensed up and hid in the kitchen. Rarity laughed and she trotted to the door to greet the visitor.

“Hello! Thank you so much for taking care of Opalescence. I’ve been so busy all day!” Her pet cat meowed at her return home.

“You’re welcome!” The guest said in a high-pitched voice. “She and Gummy had a great time together!” Bumbleberry could swear that he heard the blink of an alligator.

“Care to come in?” Rarity asked casually.

Bumbleberry winced. Is this the next task she has planned for me? To help her entertain her guest? he wondered.

“That’d be great, Rarity!” her visitor said delightfully.

Bumbleberry quickly smoothed his apron and adjusted his hat to be as presentable as he could, given the unusual circumstances.

Rarity lead the way into the kitchen, accompanied by Opal. Behind her was the excitable baker, Pinkie Pie, with her toothless pet alligator on her back. Bumbleberry braced himself as the guest’s eyes scanned the room and settled onto him.

“Bumbleberry?” Pinkie Pie asked cautiously. “Is that you?”

He nodded, saying nothing.

“Why are you wearing a maid costume?”

“It’s not a maid costume!” Rarity objected. “It’s a traditional outfit worn by Soubrettes in classical operas.”

“It looks like a maid costume.” Pinkie asserted. She stepped over to Bumbleberry and looked him up and down. “In those clothes, you look just like a mare.” His cheeks turned red with embarrassment. “That’s a great outfit!” she smiled widely.

“Be a dear and fetch Pinkie Pie and I some tea.” Rarity requested of him.

“But I don’t drink tea.” She protested. “Unless it’s a tea party. Are we having a tea party?”

Rarity looked at Bumbleberry and smiled. “Yes, let’s have a tea party.”

Entertainment

On the blue floor of the kitchen at Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s white cat raised a paw and scratched at her favorite toy mouse. Gummy the toothless alligator stood nearby, staring idly. At the table in the corner, Rarity and Pinkie Pie sat with dainty floral teacups and saucers. Bumbleberry, still wearing the Soubrette maid outfit, began brewing tea at Rarity's request.

"How was Opalesence?" Rarity asked casually. "Not too much trouble, I hope?"

"They were great together!" Pinkie replied. "Gummy didn't complain at all."

Bumbleberry wondered how gummy might complain, but didn't dwell on it long. Soon he stepped up to the table wheeling a tea caddy with a silver tray, teapot, creamer, and sugar dish.

“We have some very nice honey raspberry tea for this evening.” His voice carried an air of faux sophistication. “It has a tart flavor with a touch of sweetness, tantalizing to the senses.” He delicately poured the tea.

“My my!” Rarity mused. “I didn’t know you knew so much about tea!”

“Just berry teas, really.” He smiled bashfully but still felt proud of her compliment. He had decided that, rather than be embarrassed of whatever is to come, he would just play along. He found it quite enjoyable.

“Sugar?” He looked at Rarity.

“No thank you.”

“Miss Pinkie Pie?”

“Four lumps, please!” Both Rarity and Bumbleberry looked at her incredulously. “I love sugar!” she explained.

Bumbleberry dutifully scooped four lumps of sugar into her cup. “Cream?” he asked.

“No thank you,” Rarity said calmly.

“Ye-” Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to respond but Rarity glared at her, “no, I mean.” She smiled weakly.

Bumbleberry wheeled the caddy away and began plateing the pastries. Rarity levitated the teacup and sipped gently, being careful to make only a delicate drinking sound. Pinkie Pie grabbed her cup with two hooves and slurped it down loudly. Rarity shook her head.

Bumbleberry returned and skillfully held a pair of tongs in one hoof and a basket of pastries in the other. “Scone?” he asked.

Both mares nodded and he gave them each one. He then picked up the teapot and refilled their drinks, adding sugar as needed.

“Mmmm!” Rarity said, biting into the scone. “These are delicious!”

“It’s my mother’s special recipe,” the Bumble pony explained. “We would make all sorts of flavored scones. These happen to be mixed berry.”

"The only recipe my parents taught me was for Rock Pie," Pinkie chimed, with a mouthful of scone. "But who wants to eat that?"

“Well these are very good," Rarity continued. "Your mother taught you well.” He struck a proud pose. “Bumbleberry, would you be a dear and get us some butter?”

“Of course, Miss Rarity!” he bowed as he stepped away from the table and towards the refrigerator.

"You throw the best tea parties!" Pinkie cheered. Coming from Pinkie, this was quite the compliment.

Bumbleberry returned with the butter. “May I spread it on your scone, Miss Rarity?” He smiled weakly.

“Yes you may.” She nodded, taking another sip of tea.

“So you two are courting now?” Pinkie Pie inquired suddenly.

Rarity spat out her drink. “What are you talking about?” she asked, innocently.

“Duh, it’s obvious!” Pinkie pointed at Bumbleberry. “He's been serving you for the entire party.”

Bumbleberry’s cheeks turned red, but he said nothing.

“But,” Rarity stammered, “he’s serving both of us. It wouldn’t be odd if we were at a restaurant!”

Pinkie shook her head, “but we’re not at a restaurant, we’re at a party! And you’re the one asking him to serve us. If you ask him to serve you at a party, that means you're courting, ” she concluded. She put her hoof on her chin. “But isn’t it rude to host a party and then court the guests?”

Rarity and Bumbleberry looked at each other, embarrassed. “I suppose it is.” she admitted.

“Don’t worry, I won’t judge!” Pinkie winked.

“But,” she asked, looking at Pinkie, “how did you know? You don’t seem like the kind of pony who would keep up with courtship rituals.”

“Well I am a professional party thrower!” she declared. “And I saw the Standards Of Courtship on the table when I walked in. It was one of the few books my parents gave me when I moved to the city. ”

Rarity stared at her slack jawed, but then nodded with understanding.

Pinkie took a bite of her scone. “So, are you two courting?” she asked with a mouthful.

Rarity looked down with embarrassment, putting her hoof behind her head. “Well, it’s just been today” she began. “Bumbleberry ran into me at the market. He felt strange and we think he may be in heat. Twilight's books say he is in danger of committing unspeakable crimes against mares.”

Pinkie Pie frowned. “That’s bad,” she commented.

“Yes, well, courting him seems to be the only thing that keeps him sane. Isn’t that right?” she asked Bumbleberry. He nodded enthusiastically. “So what else can I do but court him? He’s not a bad stallion anyway.” She nudged him gently. “He’s been very helpful.”

“That’s great!” Pinkie smiled gleefully. She then shoved the rest of her scone into her mouth and stood up from the table. She spoke while still chewing, “thank you Rarity for hosting this tea party, and thank you Bumbleberry for the tasty scone!” She stretched her hoofs to the ceiling, giving a big yawn. “It’s way past my bedtime. I need to go home.”

“Of course!” Rarity jumped up from the table. “I’ll see you to the door. Bumbleberry, could you clean up in here?” she asked.

“Yes ma’am!” He began gathering the dishes onto the caddy.

“Come on, Gummy!” she said, grabbing her pet alligator by the neck and placing him on her back. “It’s time to go.”

Rarity walked Pinkie to the door and soon they were alone again, save for Opalescence. She looked at Bumbleberry in his ridiculous outfit. “Why don’t we take that off of you? It’s served its purpose.”

He nodded in agreement.

***

Soon, Bumbleberry stepped out of the dressing room, naked once again. Rarity put the outfit to one side and faced him.

“So how are you feeling?” she asked.

“I’m feeling a lot better. Much more like myself than I have all day.”

“Are you sure?” She tossed her hair seductively. Both ponies waited for the tell-tale signs of Bumbleberry’s insatiable lust: the longing eyes, the watering mouth, the rush of anxiety; but none of it came. He blinked in shock. The urge was gone.

“Yes, I feel fine,” he said hesitantly. It slowly occurred to him what that meant. He was fine! No more inappropriate behavior, no more fear of losing his job, and no condemning himself to a life without mares. “In fact, I feel great!” Elated, he smiled.

“Wonderful!” She was exuberant. “I’m so happy you’re cured! I have to admit I was worried about how much longer this would go on. I’m absolutely exhausted”

The fuchsia pony frowned. “I’m sorry I was so much trouble.”

“It was no trouble, Bumbleberry,” she asserted. “It’s just been such a long day and I’m ready for bed.” She stretched her hooves up and yawned.

“Of course! I need to be getting back to the farm anyway. We start bright and early tomorrow.” He looked into the tailor’s eyes. “Thank you, Rarity, for everything.”

“You’re welcome!”

Bumbleberry walked towards the door.

“Oh, and Bumbleberry?” Rarity called, matter-of-factly.

He spun around. “Yes?”

She levitated a bolt of fabric. “Would you be free some time to help me dye this material? I think it would look wonderful in a light strawberry color.” She grinned hopefully.

The stallion took the hint and smiled. “Yes, I would love to help. Maybe I can come back on Wednesday?”

“That would be lovely.”

Bumbleberry nodded and stepped out the door.