Equestrian Gods

Equestrian Gods: Chapter I

It was raining that day, hard. The streets were devoid of life, and the cobblestones took the abuse without protest. All around the city buildings towered, dark windows silently judging a solitary pony who was bravely, and excruciatingly slowly, forcing his way through the storm, and down the street.

The colt appeared less to be walking than stubbornly refusing to drown. He had a thick red scarf wrapped around his neck but it served as meagre relief from the bitterly unforgiving wind and icy downpour, and he was forced to walk with his head down, eyes squinted in the cause of self-perseverance. On any other day the colt would have been a stunning chestnut pinto, easily spotted in any crowd. He was technically a frame overo, something he frequently, and proudly, let others know at any social gathering. Today, however, the rain had rendered him the same indistinguishable grey as the clouds above, and were it not for the scarf he very much doubted anypony would be able to spot him there in the street.

He gritted his teeth and pressed on. There was a job interview to be had, and he would sooner see himself dead by pneumonia than show up late for such an important engagement. Royalty was waiting for him, and at least twenty other ponies just as eager for the job, and he sure as hay was not going to let some measly storm get between himself and such a glorious opportunity.

Reluctantly he had to admit that it was less about the glamour of the job, and more about the fact that this was his last chance, a few more days would see him out on the street permanently, homeless, and without a penny to his name. It was a sobering thought, and added much needed fuel to his aching legs.

No less than twenty minutes later he finally arrived at the gates to the royal palace. The entry point for civilian guests was a modest sight. A small gate, and and equally small guard's shack right next to it. A surly looking white pegasus, adorned from head to hoof in shining armour, was tucked inside, doing his best to avoid the ghastly weather. Although the guard obviously did not work for the weather patrol the pinto colt felt a slight pang of anger at his appearance. He was more than willing to lay the blame for this weather on any pegasus' shoulders, such was his mood.

“I have a job interview at the palace,” he said instead. He had to speak up for his voice to carry through the storm. It was a clear and refined voice, and he very much liked the sound of it himself. The guard stared intently at a clipboard hanging on the wall of the shack.

“Name?” he asked without looking up. The pinto shook his head at the guard's general lack of manners.

“Just Dr. Teach is fine,” he sighed.

“Uh-uh,” grunted the guard uninterestedly, “sure, whatever Doc.” After a few more seconds the guard looked up from the clipboard at Teach with a quizzical look in his eyes.  “Uhm, there's a Dr. Teach here on the list, but I think they might have gotten your first name misspelled.” Teach rubbed his temple with his hoof. He was cold, tired, and he could feel the headache lurking. He did not want to have to deal with this.

“Just, it's a nickname okay, can I just go inside. It's wet out here,” he said. The guard shot him another quizzical look, then shrugged.

“Sure thing, just through here. We'll have somepony guide you to where the interviews are at.” The guard exited the shack and hurriedly pulled the gate open for Teach, trying to stay dry as much as possible. Teach trotted through and saw a young unicorn mare under a magically levitated umbrella waiting for him. The umbrella made little sense to Teach, as the rain was falling almost horizontally, and the strawberry mare was already soaked to the bone. He smiled absent-mindedly, she was cute. Her mane was cream, with just a hint of pink, which offset her coat quite nicely. She had a stack of books for a cutie mark, and a pair of baby blue eyes that looked at him expectantly over a set of black spectacles.

“Are you G...” she began, flipping through a clipboard similar to the one the guard had scrutinized in the shack. Teach hurriedly interrupted her.

“Yes, I'm Dr. Teach, would you please lead the way.” He tried to put on his best smile without letting his frustration show. He should not have let the Equestrian Magical Institute write his application for him. He was definitely going to have to have a word with the board later. The mare raised an eyebrow at him, her gaze travelling to his forehead, where, despite his thick bangs, the lack of a horn was obviously apparent.

“And you are here for the... the teaching position?” she asked hesitantly. Again Teach forced himself to smile, the mare's lack of interest in bringing the two of them inside and away from the rain was beginning to get on his nerves.

“My name isn't Teach for nothing,” he said cheerily, raising his head in a mock pose of confidence.

“If you say so,” the mare responded. “Very well, follow me.” Teach silently mouthed a thanks towards the sky as the strawberry mare led them through a large set of doors into a candlelit hallway.

“Ehm, so do you have a name?” he said by way of making small talk. The mare looked over her shoulder at him with an unreadable expression.

“Firefly,” she said curtly. Teach raised an eyebrow in surprise. That had nothing to do with her cutie mark, her colour, or her glasses, and she certainly could not fly. Although thinking about it it seemed just as likely that it wouldn't. Her parents, like most, had probably name her before she was born. He lost himself in thought, wondering why it seemed that names and ponies almost always seemed to work out somehow. He shouldn't really be that surprised though, his own name had nothing to do with any of his own worldly features.

They walked along, mostly in quiet, Firefly answering the occasional question from Teach about the castle. It seemed as if she had been working at the castle for a long time. An oddity he thought, considering her apparently young age. Eventually they reached a large wooden door with a golden knocker shaped like a rooster holding a circle in its talons. Firefly used it to knock then stood back and waited. The door opened almost immediately, revealing, much to Teach's surprise, a short white dragon. It was still very young, only about as tall as Teach, with very small wings. From his limited experience with dragons he assumed that it was a she, which was confirmed when she opened her mouth to speak.

“You must be Teach then?” she asked with a surprisingly soft and sweet voice. Teach had been about to correct her for leaving off his title before a strange thought occurred to him.

“Wait a minute,” he said, looking from the dragon back at Firefly. “Both of you guessed right away that I'm Dr. Teach. There should be at least twenty other applicants, and none of us sent pictures of ourselves, how...?” He looked back to the dragoness who was smiling knowingly.

“All of the applicants are from the Equestrian Magical Institute, yes?” she said. Teach nodded. “Well we received a letter this morning,” she continued, pulling out a scroll wrapped in a blue ribbon from what seemed to be a pocket in her scales. “It's from the board of the school informing us that due to the storm none of the students would be arriving for the interview today, and requesting that the interviews be put off till a later date.” She laughed when she finished and saw the look on Teach's face. He felt like someone had just pulled a carpet out from under his hooves.

“Wha...” he started, meekly. The dragoness laughed again and lifted a hand reassuringly. He could see Firefly snickering in the corner of his eye.

“Don't worry,” the dragoness said. “The same letter also informed us that you had not written the board to ask for a change in interview time, and would therefore likely arrive as scheduled.” The thought had never even occurred to Teach. He could have avoided a most unfortunate afternoon of trudging through bone chilling winds and sickness inducing rain if he had just thought to ask. Instead here he was, looking like a complete foal in front of the very ponies he was trying to impress. He groaned and placed his face in his hoof.

“Very well,” he said, collecting himself. “I would assume then that the interview will proceed as planned?” The dragoness nodded at him, and then at Firefly, who nodded back and sauntered off, job done.

“My name is Incense, if you would follow me.” The dragoness motioned with her hand for him to follow her into the room. It was a rather small room, considering this was the palace. It was dimly lit, and decorated in shades of mostly dark cherry. The carpet was almost black it was so dark, but it felt soft and nice against his hooves. In the centre of the room was a massive cherry desk, not quite as dark as the carpet, but so well polished he could almost use it as a mirror. Incense took a seat behind it while Teach admired the many books that lined the wall.

She gestured to a seat in front of the desk, and Teach quickly took it, marvelling at how comfortable it was. Incense made a sharp contrast to the colours of the room, being a dull white from head to toe. The only reprieve from the colour disparity was her eyes, almost identical to the desk in shade. Teach silently hoped he would not have to look at her in this office for too long, it was making his headache worse.

Incense, who had been all smiles up till then, took on a far more serious look, and Teach thought he saw concern in her eyes.

“As much as I appreciate you braving this weather to come here I cannot help being extremely sceptical. You clearly know what the job is, but I don't see how you hope to preform it without...” She glanced at his forehead, and Teach smiled on the inside.

“Without a horn?” he finished for her.

“Well, yes,” she said. “I don't see how an earth pony such as yourself plan to teach anypony about magic. Frankly, and I don't mean to be rude, I don't see how you were able to get a doctorate in magic at all.” She looked at him, genuinely befuddled. He grinned at her. He loved this part.

“I assure you miss, I am as much an earth pony as you or Firefly.” He raised a hoof to his forehead and lifted his bangs to reveal a short and jagged stub where a horn would normally be. Incense's eyes went wide, and she quickly began to stammer an apology. Teach dismissed it with a wave of his hoof.

“Never you mind Incense,” Teach said, sure of himself. “Honest mistake. I assure you that although my horn has seen better days, it is every bit as functional as any Unicorn's.” Incense, having finally recovered from the shock of seeing a broken horn, smiled and nodded.

“Well, we'll see about that,” she said. “I am already half inclined to hire you, just from seeing how dedicated you are to getting this job.” She gestured to the letter from the school, which she had placed to the side on the desk. Although slightly embarrassed Teach allowed himself a small celebration.

“But...” Incense continued. Teach immediately stopped the internal celebration. “We have to make sure you can actually do the job.” She pulled a small folder from a drawer in the desk and placed it in front of herself, then flipped through it lazily for a second or two before looking up at Teach. “You come very highly recommended with regards to your ability to teach and present theory to others, so I am satisfied in that department. However, I need to see for myself the extent of your magical ability. There's a reason a dragon such as myself was chosen to conduct this interview.” There was a hint of mischievousness in her eyes when she smiled, and the meaning of her words slowly worked their way through Teach's brain.

He was going to have to perform magic... on a dragon. He swallowed and steeled himself. He could do this, she was far from adult yet, which meant that although she was magic resistant, she still had very far to go before she was immune. This was going to be tricky.

“Well then? What will you require that I do?” he asked, trying his best not to sound too nervous.

“Oh, just some simple exercises at first.” She wasn't joking, the exercises were simple. She had him juggle some colourful balls, move some objects of various weight around the room, turn a book into a small lizard and back again, she even had him teleport in and out of the room. The last one, although not a complex spell, required a lot of energy, and after he had done it he felt rather tired.

“Now lastly,” Incense said, and Teach's ears perked up. “I need you to lift me from my chair, hold me in the air for five seconds, the gently place me back down.” There was a strange emphasis on the word gently, and Teach suspected she had been dropped on her rear at least once or twice before. This was going to be brutally difficult. He was already worn out from the previous exercises, and he was beginning to suspect that had been their only purpose.

He clenched his jaw in determination and closed his eyes. He felt her out with a tendril of magic, and felt it immediately being pushed away. It was going to be like picking up water with oil. He thought for a moment about the best way to lift her before settling his mind and pumping out as much raw magic as he could. He wrapped her up as tightly as he could, having to continually reapply layers of magic as they simply slid off her scales, and then he heaved with all his might. There was a small yelp of surprise across the desk from him, and he opened one eye to observe his progress.

Incense was hovering three or so feet above the desk, apparently quite steadily. Teach knew better. He was frantically reapplying and retying layers and knots of magic to prevent the dragoness from taking a nasty fall into the desk. In his efforts to maintain the spell he had completely forgotten to count, and it was only when Incense politely cleared her throat that he realized she had been airborne for almost half a minute. With a grunt of effort and an apologetic smile he slowly reversed the spell in his mind, lowering the interviewer quite gently into her chair.

After giving herself a quick perusal to make sure she was non the worse for wear she shot the now panting Teach a comforting smile.

“Well, I think we can send a letter to the Institute to let them know we wont be conducting any more interviews,” she said. Teach began his internal celebration once more, and grinned at Incense. He conducted a quick prayer of gratitude to his own stupidity, if nor for it he would have done the sensible thing that morning. He was glad he had opted for the non-sensible thing. He made a mental note to send a letter to the weather patrol and thank them for the storm.

For the next half an hour or so Incense discussed the practical and logistical aspects of his new job with him. He would be moving into the castle the next week, and apparently there was a lot of paperwork and pony labour involved in such an undertaking. Teach barely listened, only nodding here and there at the more important things. On the inside he was far away, enjoying the warm happy feeling that was spreading throughout his body. Things were starting to look up, and it couldn't have happened at a better time.