Blueblood's Angels

by Doccular42

Rating: everyone
Tags: Prince Blueblood, Octavia, Caramel, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Crossover, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 7106

Once upon a time, there were three young mares who went to the Guard academy. And they were each assigned very… hazardous… duties. But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me. My name is Blueblood.

Once upon a time, there were three young mares who went to the Guard academy.

And they were each assigned very… hazardous… duties.

But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me.

My name is Blueblood.

-=-=-

~Featured on EqD on 4/13/14!~

~Featured on FimFic on 5/17/14!~

Big thanks to TGM for prereading/editing and putting up with my nonsense!

Cover Art by me via Photoshop.

Although this is a crossover, it takes only its format and name from Charlie's Angels. No characters, plotlines, or any other pieces of the other source are used or ponified. Thus, it requires no knowledge of Charlie's Angels to understand. But you should watch the show anyways. It's friggin' awesome.

Published 2014-01-25 07:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-05-17 23:04:25 UTC

Chapter One

Octavia sat in her Canterlot apartment. The new dawn’s rays shone through the billowy curtains as she slid her bow slowly across her cello’s strings. Mooseart’s Second Symphony in D♭ minor had always been her favorite classical piece. The eerie sevenths, the dynamic rises and falls, the—

"Woah!" Octavia jumped as the telephone on the table beside her cut her reverie short.

“Hello?” Octavia answered.

“Hello, Angel. Time to get to work!”

Octavia smiled as she gently put her cello away. Oh, yes. Today shall certainly be a good day.

♫♪♫

Lyra gazed the pool table in front of her with the eyes of a master. She lifted her stick up, aiming it at what looked like the perfect spot on the cue ball. Not too hard… Not too soft…

She could visualize her end result perfectly. The cue ball would bounce off the far wall, come back around, hit the seven into the center hole, and then the cue ball would ricochet and knock the nine ball in. Then, it would be a clear shot to get the three ball in, and then she could easily knock the eight ball into the far left pocket. Utter perfection.

She let loose a lopsided grin as she deftly moved the stick into position. Yes. It will be… PERFECT!

She thrust the stick forward. But at the last second, the telephone on the table across the room rang out, and her stick moved just a fraction to the left. She groaned as the cue ball slid perfectly into the pocket.

“Not a single word,” she told her competition. She marched over to the telephone and quickly picked it up.

“Go for Lyra.”

“Hello, Angel! It’s that time again!”

Lyra smiled as she hung up. She turned to her competition, which sat in the chair across the room. “Guess we’ll have to finish this later!”

Of course, since her competition was her own lyre, it didn’t respond with words. But Lyra could feel the love and fear of being defeated once again emanating from it. The mare chuckled. “I should probably start playing against real ponies soon…”

♫♪♫

The bespectacled stallion glanced cautiously around the hallway’s corner. There was still no sign of Daring Do. He let out a faint whimper as he slowly crept forward some more.

“Don’t have a panic attack, don’t have a panic attack, don’t have a panic attack…”

As he peered around the next corner, he let out a shriek of terror. Directly before him waited not one, not two, but THREE angry mummies! And they were all looking right at him!

“UUUUUHHHHHNNNNG…” The bandaged covered corpses cried as they shuffled toward the terrified librarian.

Doc Rims did what any self respecting pony would do in his situation. He began screaming for his mommy and turned around to run away from what was scaring him.

But as the poor earth pony stumbled back into the previous hallway, he realized his fatal mistake. The tribal hunters who had been tracking him were still following him! And they’d caught up!

Doc wailed once more as he dashed into a side room, barely dodging a thrown spear. He turned back to look out the doorway, just in time to see the mummies and tribal ponies meet face to face. The tribesponies raised their spears, but one of the mummies stepped toward them. It raised its hand, and a red light connected the tribesponies’ heads and the mummy’s hand.

Both groups put down their hands and weapons. As one, they turned to look into the room. To look directly at Doc. Their eyes glowed a sinister red as they moved forward as one.

“I never should have listened to that rabbit!”

Ditzy Do jumped as the phone on her bedside table rang out. She took off her reading glasses, set her book aside, and picked up her phone.

“Do residence, Ditzy speaking!”

“Hello Angel! Time to stop reading about adventures and go on one!”

Ditzy smiled as she hung up and climbed out of bed. Daring Do and the Librarian’s Secret would have to wait. The world needed saving again.

≈Φ≈

Lyra flopped onto the couch in the Angel’s headquarters. Octavia stood off by the table making a grass shake, and Ditzy had her nose buried in a science book of some kind, as usual. Lyra sighed as she tilted her head backwards.

She gazed around the familiar room. The window before her had quite the view of Canterlot, since the cottage that was their headquarters was situated just outside the capitol city. The room itself was comfortably, if not lavishly, furnished. Lyra lay sprawled on one of two couches, while Ditzy occupied the other.

Octavia strode over to the unicorn and hoofed her a cup of the green concoction. “Here, drink this.”

Lyra eyed the drink suspiciously. “Look, Octy. You’d say that we’re friends, right?”

“Yes, I suppose so. Why?” Octavia frowned at her fellow Angel.

“Well, here’s the thing. You’re the expert on social situations. As your friend, I am socially bound to eat or drink food that you cook and tell you that I love it. On the other hoof, I’m also a fairly intelligent pony. The last time you gave me something, I ended up covering Ditzy in spaghetti sauce that I spat from my mouth. From my MOUTH.”

Ditzy nodded. “It’s true. I can never read Sir Figgy Newton’s treatise on the laws of magical physics the same way again. Mostly because my copy is stained red, but also because I can’t help but recall the texture of tomato sauce covering my face.” Ditzy hadn’t even lifted her nose from out of her book as she spoke.

“Exactly! So tell me. Should I try your latest concoction and say that it’s great, or should I spare Ditzy the pain and anguished of having her face and her copy of… Uh…” Lyra glanced at the title of Ditzy’s book. “’Developmental Psychology and Chickens: The Missing Link’ from being covered in gloppy green goop? Because I’m more than willing to try it!”

Lyra reached for the glass, but Octavia yanked it away. “No, I understand what you are saying. There is no need to let my feelings get in the way of what you want to do.” The earth pony pointedly stuck her nose into the air. “A lady knows who her friends really are!”

Octavia walked over to Ditzy, hoofing the glass to the pegasus. She downed it in two gulps without even looking up from her book. “Mmm! This is really good Octy! Is that a few sprigs of mint that I taste?”

“Why, yes it is! You really are quite the REFINED lady, aren’t you?” Octavia shot Lyra a glare and stuck out her tongue.

Lyra chuckled. “Yeah, real refined Ms. Tongue-Sticker-Outer.”

“Real-LY,” Ditzy corrected.

“Whatever. But seriously, can I try it? If Ditzy likes it, it MUST be good!” Lyra reached over to one of the other glasses, but before she could reach them, Octavia scooped them both up and drank them both.

“HEY! No fair!”

Octavia swallowed and smiled at her friend. “Aww, how sad.”

Lyra opened her mouth to speak, but the door on the other side of the room opening up, interrupted her.

“Morning ladies! And Lyra!” Caramel beamed as he strode into the room.

“Morning, Mel!” the three mares chimed out in unison.

“So, Blue has quite assignment planned. Probably our biggest one yet!” Caramel walked over to the projector screen and hooked up his equiptment.

“Aww, so he isn’t going to be here himself to tell us? What, do we have to beg? Scratch that, I’ve already tried… It doesn’t work,” Lyra moaned.

“Come on Lyra, you know that he never shows his face to us!” Octavia replied as she walked over to the sink to rinse out their glasses. “Besides, it adds to his air of mystery!”

“Indeed. When all we hear is that beautiful voice, it allows the imagination to run wild as to what his body looks like! I wonder if he’s a pegasus?” Ditzy finally closed her book and took off her glasses. “Also, that book is pure hokum. He completely ignores any and all scientific research regarding the development of the Starswirl Gland in order to make his ‘Chicken Synapse’ idea make more sense!”

Caramel chuckled. “Well girls, I think he’s about to call. Gather around!”

The three Angels sat down upon the couch facing the projector screen as Caramel turned on the projector. A moment later, the phone rang. Caramel pressed the answer button, and a voice sounded from the speaker at the front of the room.

“Good morning Angels!”

“Good morning Blue!” the three mares chorused.

“Today’s mission is quite different from what we have attempted in the past. Truthfully, it is the largest mission we have ever undertaken. I almost hesitated to bring this to you when our client approached me with his information, but I am confident that you three are more than up to the task!”

“Pfft. If we could handle the Shah of Saddle Arabia’s ‘doomsday’ army and the Maneiac’s Hairbrush of DOOM 3.0™ at the SAME TIME and not even break a sweat, we could handle anything!” Lyra leaned back in her seat. “Lay it on us bro!”

Ditzy looked disapprovingly at her compatriot. “You do realize that we used the Hairbrush 3.0™ to destroy the doomsday army and that the simple act of turning it on managed to destroy the hairbrush for us, right?”

Lyra rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah. But when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound nearly as impressive!”

“Girls! Please, wait until after! Please Blue, do continue.” Octavia smiled sweetly at the speaker.

“You do realize that he can only hear you and not see you, right?” Lyra asked smugly.

“Hmmph!” Octavia turned away.

“Alright Angels, settle down. Caramel, would you please go to the first slide?”

Caramel pressed a button, and the map of a small town flared to life upon the screen.

“Ladies, what you are looking at is a map of the town of Ponyville. It is a small rural village on the boarder of the Everfree forest. The population is sparse, the economy is thriving, and crime is virtually nonexistent.”

“Hmm. Sounds too good to be true. What’s the catch?” Ditzy inquired.

“Good question! My source has informed me that more is going on in this town than meets the eye. Or, rather, more will soon be going on than meets the eye. Caramel, if you would advance the slide please.”

The slide flipped to an ancient image of a purple mare who was surrounded by black and blue energy. She had both a horn and wings, and was cackling madly.

“Is that… Nightmare Moon?” Ditzy squinted at the screen.

“Indeed it is. You certainly know your history, my dear. This is one of the last remaining images of Nightmare Moon. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this mare, Nightmare Moon was one of the greatest enemies that Princess Celestia had ever faced. The battle between the two was epic. It is unknown where she came from, but it is common knowledge that she appeared right after the disappearance of Celestia’s long lost sister, Luna. It has been hypothesized that Nightmare Moon killed Princess Luna, and was barely defeated by Princess Celestia.”

“Well, that’s nice. What does she have to do with the mission?” Lyra leaned forward now, intrigued.

“Our source has informed us that Nightmare Moon shall be returning to Equestria in three weeks time. She will reappear at the Summer Sun Celebration and attempt to plunge the world into endless night. Our employer wishes for us to stop her.”

“Sounds easy enough. A well placed magical detonation or shot from a crossbow should end her quite efficiently.” Octavia tossed her mane back. “I could go get Arev all polished up and ready now, if you’d like.”

“As much as that does sound like a good idea, that particular strategy will not work here. You see, my source has informed me that this particular enemy cannot be harmed by physical means.”

“Sooo… Shoot her with magic?” Lyra asked.

“Unfortunately, that does not work either. Nightmare Moon can only be defeated in one way. There exist in this world a weapon. The only weapon that can harm her. It is called the ‘Elements of Harmony.’”

“What exactly is this ‘Element of Harmony?’ I’ve never heard about it before.” Ditzy put her glasses back on.

“Caramel, if you would.”

The projector moved to the still image of five gems orbiting a sixth.

“This is all the information that I have on the Elements. They are a single weapon in six parts. They can only be wielded by six ponies who represent them in some way. And all six bearers must be united in order for them to work properly.”

“So, I guess this means that we’ll need three more ponies. Unless you and Caramel want to join us, in which case we’ll only need one more.” Octavia strode over to the screen to look at the gems.

“No, Octavia. Your assignment is not to obtain the Elements. Rather, you are to help six other ponies obtain and use them.”

“What? How would we do that?” Lyra asked, moving up to look at the pictures with Octavia.

“According to our informant, we will not be the only group mobilized. There are two other forces in play. Our informant tells us that the Princess will be sending her own student to Ponyville, and that this pony is to be the bearer of the most powerful Element. How he knows this, he did not say. However, there is yet another force in play. Another group that wants nothing more than the return of Nightmare Moon and the downfall of all Equestria.”

Ditzy stood up and walked over to the screen as well.

“Angels, this is your assignment. You are to move to Ponyville, integrate yourself into the townsfolk, watch as events unfold, and stop the Cult of Nightmare Moon from allowing their leader to gain control of the entire nation.”

Caramel turned off the projector and the three mares returned to their seats.

“Now, Caramel has additional information for you, as well as three false identities that you are to assume when you move to Ponyville. This will be your longest running mission yet, Angels. Count on at least a month away from your families and friends. I recommend that you say your goodbyes sooner rather than later. The sooner that you can arrive at Ponyville and begin, the better.”

Octavia spoke for the group. “Very well Blue. We shall go before the day is done.”

“Good! Godesspeed Angels! You shall certainly need it!”

And with that the phone line went dead. The three mares turned to Caramel, who pulled out several notebooks.

“You may as well stay seated. This is going to take a while.”

≈Φ≈

Lord Blueblood put down his phone and sighed. Turning to the exit to his room, he strode purposefully out and headed to the garden. Upon reaching his destination, the white stallion walked up to a single tall statue.

He spoke softly to it. “Are you certain that this information is correct?”

"Have I ever been wrong before?"

Blueblood sighed. “No, old friend. You haven’t. I just wish we knew more…”

"As do I. But the fate of Equestria rests in your hooves, and my claws. We have no choice."

“Indeed. Very well. I shall tell you when they arrive at Ponyville.” And with that, the unicorn walked back to his room, leaving the ancient statue of Discord alone in the garden.

"If only you knew what you were getting into…" The statue of the draconequus laughed, and then all was silent.

Chapter Two

Ditzy opened the door to her home with a grin on her face. The door creaked open a bit, but that was to be expected. The house had been in her family for generations, and the hinges probably hadn’t been oiled in years.

“Sis, I’m home!” she cried out.

The pitter-patter of tiny hooves coming down the staircase in the other room greeted her. Ditzy set her saddlebags down beside the door and took off her sunglasses just in time to be glomped by a highly enthusiastic unicorn filly.

“Aunty Ditzy! You’re home!” Dinky Do jumped onto the pegasi’s back with a mighty giggle.

“Woah there! Hey, I’m not as young as you are!” Ditzy fell to the ground melodramatically and flipped herself so that she had the filly in a tight hold. She then proceeded to commence tickling protocol number one.

“Ahaha! Stop it, Aunty!” Dinky giggled as the pegasus blew on her little tummy.

Ditzy gave a little laugh as she let her niece up. The unicorn’s mane was frazzled as usual, since she seemed to always be running around like a little battery powered toy.

“Oooh, guess what!” Dinky’s wide eyes sparkled with barely contained excitement. “Just guess what I learned how to do today!”

The mare couldn’t help but laugh as the little one practically danced in place. "What did you learn to do today?"

Dinky stopped dancing suddenly and scrunched her eyes shut. A light yellow aura surrounded Ditzy’s saddlebags as the filly shakily lifted them into the air. They rose quite slowly, but soon enough they reached the same level as Ditzy’s head. Then they dropped back to the ground with a resounding thud! Dinky tripped backwards over her own hooves and fell rump first onto the ground.

“Wow! That was great!” Ditzy cheered as she walked over to Dinky to lift her up off the ground. “That’s much better than last time!”

“Thanks Aunty! Daddy said that if I keep practicing, I might get a cutie mark in magic! But I don’t know if I want a magic cutie mark. I think I want a compass cutie mark, just like mommy!” Dinky resumed her hopping as soon as she was back off the ground.

Ditzy chuckled. “Well, whatever your cutie mark is for, I’m sure that it’ll be something that you love. But speaking of your mom and dad, where are they? I need to talk to them.”

“Ooh, I know! They’re in the writing room! Follow me!” And with that, Dinky hurried back up the stairs, followed closely by Ditzy.

Ditzy’s home would never be called large. Not for the number of ponies living there, anyways. It had two stories, with a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen on the lower floor, and four more rooms upstairs. Three of them were in use as bedrooms, and the last functioned as the ‘writing room.’

“MOOOOOMMY! DAAAAADDY! AUNTY DITZY NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU!”

“Shh, don’t wake up the whole neighborhood!” Ditzy chastised as the two came to the closed door on the left hand side of the top of the staircase.

“Oh! Are they all sleeping? Why would they be sleeping? It’s the afternoon! That means that it’s playtime!” Dinky squinted, obviously puzzled by this odd conundrum.

A voice rang out from inside the writing room. “It’s a saying, dear. It means that you don’t need to be so loud. And she’s quite right!”

Dinky and Ditzy walked into the cluttered room. The entire room was crammed full of filing cabinets, as well as two desks piled high with books and papers and the chairs needed for the ponies who sat at said desks. The far wall sported a window, and the other three walls were lined completely with bookshelves. The meager amount of floor room that remained was occupied by a large rug that looked soft enough to sleep upon.

The voice belonged to a mare who sat in one of the chairs. She blew her mane, with many shades of grey, from her eyes. She turned away from her typewriter and wiped a few smudges of ink off her yellow coat. “Heya Ditzy!”

Ditzy smiled at her sister. “Hey Daring!”

Ditzy tried to walk over to the other mare, but a waterfall of books and papers that fell from the other desk in the room blocked her way.

“Oh, bollocks.” A grey stallion with a brown mane fell out of his chair and sprawled into the floor.

“Daddy!” Dinky jumped onto her father, kicking aside a few heavy books and landing on him with a remarkably loud thud!

“Oof! Oh, so that’s how you want to play it, eh?” The stallion grabbed his daughter as she squealed in delight and repeated the treatment that Ditzy had given to the filly only moments ago.

Daring giggled at the sight. “Dinky, let go of your father!”

The little filly could barely speak as her laughter chopped her sentences into little pieces. “Mo-mmy! He’s- the- one- whose- got- me! Ahahaha!”

Daring put on a very ‘serious’ face and looked at her husband. “Doc, let go of your daughter!”

The bespectacled stallion looked up from the still laughing filly with a smile. “Aww, do I have to?”

“NO!” Dinky cried, her eyes wide as she pleaded to her mother.

“Yes, please?” Doc’s eyes attempted to mimic the filly’s innate charm, but failed dismally.

Daring let loose a giggle that sounded remarkably like her daughter’s. “Well, since you asked Dinky, then you can keep playing. Doc, that worked back when you were a colt. You’re too old for that now.”

The stallion seemed ready to make a witty retort, but he was cut short by another merciless tackle from his daughter.

Daring smiled as she watched the two roll around for a bit before turning to her sister, who was smiling just as much as she was. “Meeting go okay?”

Ditzy nodded. “Yeah. Got my next assignment from management.”

“Already? You haven’t even been home four days yet!” Daring gasped in astonishment. “I know that you work for the biggest agricultural monitoring organization in all of Equestria, but this is ridiculous! You haven’t been home for longer than three days in half a year!”

Ditzy sighed. “I know. But they need me out in Ponyville to oversee some of the census survey data that will be coming from the surrounding farms and from the Everfree forest.”

“Wait, census data?” Doc looked up from his daughter. “Is it that time already? I thought that the census wasn’t for another year?” The insistent filly who still clung to his back gave a mighty chomp to his ear, and the two went back to playing again.

“It’s not, but they have to begin gathering the data now.” Ditzy shook her head as the two crashed into yet another pile of books.

“So how long will you be gone then?” Daring asked, her voice a bit sad.

“Hopefully not too long. It’ll be at least three weeks, although it may be longer.”

“THREE WEEKS?” Daring’s jaw dropped. “You can’t be serious! Tell me that this is all a big joke.”

“I’m sorry. It’s not.”

Dinky giggled as she pile-drove her father to the ground. She bounced over to the rug and began rolling around, giggling like a maniac.

Doc lay down on the ground panting heavily. “Okay, okay, you win.”

Dinky jumped up happily and did a victory dance in place. She then hopped over and sat down on her dad’s seat. She leaned over his typewriter and mimed the clacking of keys.

Doc stood up and faced the two mares. “Well, you will be able to visit on weekends, won’t you? It’s only a train ride away. Or we could visit you!”

Daring nodded quickly. “Yes, that would work! We’re almost finished with the second draft, and then we have to send it off to our publisher anyways! We’d be able to spend a whole week with you!”

Ditzy blinked. “Oh, I’m sure that I’ll be able to come visit on weekends or something! There’s no need for you to come all the way down there just to see me! Spending all that money for a room, and tickets, and food… I could just come back and stay here!”

Daring shook her head. “’Just’ to see you? Dear, we hardly see each other at all anymore! And it would be a welcome vacation from all this writing!”

Doc smiled in agreement. “That would be perfect! It would take my mind off having to edit my own account of the second most harrowing experience of my life…”

“You’re the one who wanted to come along!” Daring nudged her husband’s side playfully.

“Hey! I thought that it was our anniversary trip! You didn’t tell me that you’d planned to meet with an old archeological pal and had completely forgotten that it was our five year anniversary that day!”

“Well, I—“

“Ahem!” Ditzy cleared her throat. “I really don’t want to interrupt this, but I should tell you both something.” She closed her eyes for a moment as she planned how to best phrase her next sentence. “The company usually doesn’t want family members to be around their survey teams when they are out on duty. Since I’m being assigned to oversee them, I have to follow the same guidelines. I’m working toward a big promotion, and if I’m caught breaking policy, it could place that in jeopardy.”

"Policy-schmolicy! I want to see my sister!" Daring harrumphed.

"Hey, Dare. If I get this promotion, it means more inner city coordination and management work. And that means that I won't have to go away as often." Ditzy looked her sister right in the eye as the yellow pegasus considered this.

Daring sighed. “Well, alright then. I guess that seeing you on the weekends will still be better than when you were in the guard out in Baltimare. But that doesn't mean that I have to be happy about it!” she finished strongly.

“But on the bright side, you should easily have enough time to finish reading the draft before we send it off! How far are you so far?” Doc looked at his wife the whole time that he spoke, and Ditzy knew that it wasn’t for his sister-in-law’s sake that he had changed the subject.

“I had just gotten to the point where those mummified Sasquatches had chased you right into the tribesponies. You nearly wet yourself, if I recall properly.” Ditzy smirked at the grey earth pony.

“Now wait a moment! I did NOT wet myself! And even if I had, you could hardly blame me! For six years I’d managed to stay out of her archaeological shenanigans! That was my first real encounter with danger!” Doc snorted indignantly.

Daring snorted. “He did wet himself. We just edited it out because our publisher wanted to keep it foal friendly.”

“Just like she decided to change us from being six years married with a foal to being two dating lovebirds off on their first vacation together just to keep the story 'edgier?' And besides, you said that we wouldn’t talk about that ever again!”

Ditzy giggled as the two went back and forth like that. Yet a small part of her winced inside. If they came to Ponyville while she was there, it would be blatantly obvious that she wasn’t working for any agricultural commission…

Chapter Three

Lyra tossed her saddlebags onto her couch before flopping down next to them. She stretched herself out with a yawn and closed her eyes, humming a little tune. “Ba-da, ba-da, mare looks like a stallion! Ba-da, ba-da!” She kicked her hind hooves up into the air, flinging her mane back and forth while twisting about on the loveseat. She let loose a silly giggle before jumping up and heading into her small kitchen.

“Hmm, what a funky stallion…” She opened her pantry, despite having already memorized its contents. Empty, as always. Well, except for the twenty-two tubs of crunchy peanut butter that had been there since she moved in. She just ignored those. Prancing happily, she opened her fridge. She knew exactly what awaited her in there as well. Three cases of Crabbe Apple’s Hard Cider and the remains of a box of lo-mane noodles. She levitated two of the ciders and the paper box out and carried them over to the couch.

“She was a stallion! Hmm hmm, hmm hmm, hmm hmm…” She gulped the noodles down in a heartbeat and swiftly popped the top off her first cider.

Lyra gazed around her apartment as she took a long drink. She’d never been one for big houses or useless decorations, so she kept her place simple. She had her loveseat and a single recliner in her living room, both positioned for conversations and radio listening in equal parts. The hardwood floors had a single rug upon it, and the walls were adorned by a single picture of a mint green foal and two other ponies. The smiling filly gazed happily at the elegantly tall white mare who stood to her left as she snuggled into the posh stallion who stood to her right. Lyra smiled, remembering that day.

She set down the cider and the empty takeout box with a sigh. Her stomach growled, demanding more than a mouthful of noodles. “Well, guess it’s time to break out the big guns!” She strode back into the kitchen and opened the cupboard that held her greatest source of food. Lyra smiled as she grabbed the enormous stack of the menus from all of her favorite delivering restaurants.

She plopped them all down on her dining room table and started sorting. Mi Too’s Forbidden Palace, masters of the lo-mane noodles that had made up the first part of her meal; Donut Joe’s Donuts and Mo, specializing in donuts and… more; Hay-Fill-A, home of the original hayburger; and Sea-Food Eat-Food, famous for their seventeen different varieties of seaweed and other seafood. She grimaced, tossing all of them away, searching for the only food that truly drew her eye…

“Ah! Found it!” Lyra grabbed that particular menu and trotted over to her telephone. She dialed, and it rang for a few seconds. “Hi, Pizza Shack? Yeah, I’d like to place an order. One small cheese with spinach, cauliflower, and extra, extra EXTRA crispy hay!” The voice spoke back to her for a moment. “Yeah, it is Lyra,” she laughed. “I do always order the same thing! I’ll have the cash ready when you guys get here. No, thank you. Bye-bye.” She hummed a bit more as she put all the menus back into their special place.

“Don’t know if I should be happy that I don’t have to even give them my address any more, or scared that all those ponies have memorized where I live…” She said to nopony in particular. But then she glanced at the fully loaded repeating double crossbow leaning up against the wall between her living room and kitchen. “Nah, I’ll just be happy. Yay, lazieness!”

Lyra took another swig of her cider and looked back up at the picture on the wall. “Those were the good old days…” She gulped down another mouthful and then set the bottle aside with another sigh. “Darn it, why does thinking about him always make me sigh? Or drink?” She slapped a hoof to her forehead and closed her eyes.

When she opened them, she saw the phone right in front of her. She let her hoof fall back down to rest on her couch as she considered her options. She stared forward for a moment, her eyes crinkled in concentration as a grim frown adorned her face.

“Oh, what the hay. Might as well.” She lifted the phone up and dialed.

The phone rang faintly for a moment before an airy voice with a Fancy accent answered her. “’Ello?”

“Hey mom, it’s Lyra.”

“Lyra! Oh, darling! It is so good to ‘ear your voice!”

“Isn’t it always?” Lyra chuckled.

“It ‘as been so long! You don’t know ‘ow I ‘ave missed you…” Fleur De Lis’ voice broke slightly at the end of her words.

“Hey, don’t get all teary on me, Mom. It’s only been, what… Two, three months?”

“Only two or three? No, eet ‘as been almost six! You left off to Celestia knows where six months ago, and we ‘ave not ‘eard from you since. We did not know if you were safe, or well…”

“Oh.”

“Fillette. Come back to us. Your father misses you desperately. ‘E only wants you to apologize, and zen ‘e will welcome you back with open—“

“Wait. Me apologize?” Lyra’s voice hardened.

“Yes, just apologize to ‘im, and all would be forgiven!”

“Mom. I’m not the one who needs to apologize.”

“Lyra, s'il vous plaît. Ze pride would only get in ze way of our family… Oooh, vat iz zat word… retrouvailles... Reuniting! Yes, our family reuniting.”

Lyra clenched her jaw. “Why don’t you just tell that to him.”

“You know ‘ow ‘e iz, Lyra. Your father iz a strong stallion. ‘E cannot change ‘is stance on anything, especially zis.”

“I think you’re using the wrong term there, mom. The word is ‘pigheaded.’”

“Lyra! Zat iz vulgar racism!”

“Yeah, but it’s true. A real stallion can admit when he is wrong. If he can’t back down from this, I think it’s probably best if we cut ties for longer than just six months.”

“No! Please, darling, just talk to ‘im! Ze past iz ze past, and we must move on!”

Lyra sighed. “Mom. You know what happened last time we talked. If we did it again, nothing different would happen. I just wanted to call to talk to you and let you know that I’m here in town for a bit, but leaving again soon.”

A small sob came through the phone’s speaker, and Lyra rolled her eyes. “Oh, but... Very well, darling. I wish ze two of you could move past zis, but I am glad to speak to you. Can we meet? ‘Ow long before you go again?”

“Yeah, we could grab lunch tomorrow. I’m catching the evening train to Ponyville at six tomorrow, but we should have some time before—“

“Fleur, who’s on the phone?” At the sound of the new voice, Lyra froze.

“Fancy, it iz Lyra. Please, do not fight again!”

“Oh, so did she call to apologize? Because I forbid you to talk to her if she didn’t!” Lyra gritted her teeth at hearing those words.

“Fancy, no. She iz my daughter too! I miss ‘er so terribly and—”

“Mom, put him on the phone.” Lyra knew that her mother recognized her low, emotionless tone.

“She wants to talk to you, Fancy.” Lyra could hear the phone shift hooves on the other end.

“Yes?” The hard voice brought forth so many emotions within Lyra, but she held herself back.

“Look, I don’t want a fight. I’m not here to talk about what happened before. I just wanted to tell my mother that I miss her and wanted to talk to her before I—”

“’Just wanted?’ Oh, like what you ‘just wanted’ before? I told you, until you admit to me that you were wrong, you will have no more contact with us, and—”

“No.” Lyra interrupted. “You said I would have no more contact with YOU. I wanted to talk to MOM. I couldn’t give a manticore’s ass what you said about me talking to mom. She’s her own mare, and if I want to talk to her, I will.”

“Listen here, you little—”

“Oh, please. I’ve already heard it all. You’ve said your piece, and I’ve said mine. I’m fine cutting ties, since neither one of us is going to budge on this. But mom doesn’t need to suffer. She cares, even if you don’t. And she loves me.” She let the rest remain unsaid.

Her father paused for a moment. “Fine. Speak to her. I’m done.” Lyra heard the phone hit the floor and hoofsteps walk away on an immaculate marble floor.

Lyra could hear the crying before Fleur even picked up the phone. “I’m sorry Mom.”

“I… I just want us to be a family again…”

“Maybe someday we can be again.”

“I ‘ope so. Oh, I ‘ope so more zan you could ever know.” With this, Fleur began to sob.

“I love you mom.” Lyra whispered.

“I love you too, belle.”

Lyra smiled softly. “Do you still want to grab some food tomorrow?”

“With all my ‘eart.” Fleur spoke so quietly that Lyra could barely hear her. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to hold her mother close and tell her that everything would be just fine, even though she had no way of knowing that.

“How about the usual place? I haven’t been there in forever.”

“Me either, mon chéri.”

“Alright, meet you there at one?”

“Zat sounds simply lovely.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

“I love you, beautiful Lyra.” Fleur repeated.

“And I love you, beautiful mama. Goodbye.”

“Au revoir.”

Lyra set the phone down gently as tears welled up in her eyes. She looked back up at the painting, at that wonderfully sweet and gentle mare. But then her eyes moved over to the stallion, and Lyra growled softly. She lifted the phone up off the table beside her and threw it all the way across the room. It clattered to the floor, and Lyra stood up, her flanks heaving. If only he was here, she’d be able to—

A swift knock at the door broke her train of thought. “Pizza Shack!”

Lyra composed herself and strode over to the door. She opened it, revealing a blue earth pony stallion wearing a red and white uniform. “Hey Lyra!”

“Hey there Noteworthy. Twelve bits, right?”

“Yes ma’am!” The stallion grinned. He pulled her pizza out of his delivery bag as Lyra tossed him a twenty bit coin.

“Keep the change,” She said with a wink.

Noteworthy cracked a huge smile. “Thanks! It’s really good to see you! You’ve been gone for too long.”

Lyra laughed. “I really have, haven’t I?”

“Yeah. Some of us have missed you.” He gave her a meaningful smile.

“Well, I’ve missed some of you too.” She added another playful wink.

He laughed. “Hey, how long are you in town? We should totally grab lunch some time and catch up!”

Lyra grinned back at him. “Sorry Note, but I’m only here ‘til tomorrow afternoon, and I’m gonna have lunch with my mom tomorrow. Rain check?”

Note’s grin faltered for a moment, but he returned to his cheerful self quickly. “Oh, sure. Just give me a call. You have my number.”

“Yeah, and I’ll always call it when I want the best pizza.” Lyra smirked.

“Oh, you and your jokes.” He looked down at his watch. “Well, I’ve gotta run. It was good seeing you!”

“You too.” Lyra smiled as the blue stallion trotted away. And certainly not because of the way his uniform emphasized his flank… Well, not just because of it.

Lyra carried her perfect pizza inside and sat back down on her couch. She opened the box, picked up her cider, and turned on the radio.

“…and here’s classic for all you fans of the good ol’ days out there!” As the opening riff sounded out, Lyra tossed her head back and chuckled at life’s sense of humor.

Ba-da, Ba-da! MAAAAARE LOOKS LIKE A STALION! Ba-da, Ba-da!

She dug into her food, and turned her mind away from the painting and the telephone that still lay on the floor across the room.

Author's Note

An update?!?! I know, it's been so long! I apologize for the Slice of Life-yness of these chapters. I really wish I could tag SoL and Adventure, since this contains elements of both. Oh well. Hopefully updates will be more regular in the future! Thanks for sticking around guys.

And special thanks to TGM for prereading. <3

Prologue

Once upon a time, there were three young mares who went to the Guard academy.

≈Φ≈

Octavia circled her opponent slowly. He made a lunge at the earth pony, but Octavia’s cat-like reflexes were too much for him. She grabbed him by the leg and flipped him onto his back. She then landed atop him and mimed a blow to his throat. As her fellow recruits cheered, the mare stood back to her hooves. Then it was off to the next fight.

♫♪♫

Lyra lunged forcefully at the practice dummy that stood before her. Her spear pierced right through its neck, ripping a hole in the fabric that covered it. The unicorn smiled as she stabbed it again.

♫♪♫

Ditzy gritted her teeth as she clung to the monkey bars with her wings. Swinging forward, she grabbed the next. And the next. And the next. Finally, she swung off the next bar and ran gleefully to the next obstacle, her shining eyes gazing directly ahead.

≈Φ≈

And they we each assigned very… hazardous… duties.

≈Φ≈

Octavia placed yet another parking ticket on yet another carriage. Honestly, what is it about Wonderbolt performances that seem to inspire ponies to forget the most basic of parking and traffic laws? The mare shook her head as she moved over to another convertible who somehow had managed to park halfway up a tree. Just another day.

♫♪♫

Lyra sighed as she pushed the last batch of paperwork away from her. Another sheet slid into her typewriter, and she could finally see then end to a terribly long day approaching! Just then, her sergeant plopped another folder full of reports in front of her. Lyra sighed once more and went back to work.

♫♪♫

Ditzy flew over the Baltimare street’s crosswalk holding her ‘Foals Crossing. STOP!’ sign. The young ponies below ignored her. Their parents kept talking to one another, and the ponies in their horse-drawn carriages honked at her and screamed in an attempt to get her to move along more quickly. She gritted her teeth, and looked away from them pointedly.

≈Φ≈

But I took them away from all that, and now they work for me.

≈Φ≈

The three mares walked out of the Canterlot offices with broad grins plastered on their faces. Finally, THIS is what they’d been training for! A chance to make a difference! A chance to save the world.

≈Φ≈

My name is Blueblood. But they just call me Blue.

Author's Note

So, yeah. I watched an old episode of Charlie's Angles today and thought, "Huh. Angels. Ponies." And then this happened.