Bunderbliss

(5)

There wasn't a lot of information available about archeological discoveries in general, let alone any recent discoveries in Crete. For every six searches that Lee did on his computer, he got back a hundred pointless, unrelated results. Something he'd come to expect from the internet.

Nothing about any artifacts made from obsidian, or gazing pools in general. It was as though the damn thing really was from outer space. The fact that something could be fashioned from volcanic glass was extraordinary in and of itself.

Eventually, Lloyd called him back. There was a strained tension to his voice. That either meant he wasn’t able to find anything useful, or he had found something, and Lee wasn’t going to like it.

“Tell me you found something?” Lee asked, doing his best to keep the rush from his tone.

“I found something, but you’re not going to like it.”

Taking a deep breath and preparing himself, Lee said: “Bring it.”

“Okay, let’s start with the obvious things first. You said that the gazing pool, or rather, the reflecting pond was made entirely of obsidian, right?”

“Yes.”

“There-in lies the first hurdle. So far as I could determine, there are no such things on the planet. It’s too impractical, I don’t have to say why. But, because you obviously have one, it means that someone somewhere made one.”

There was a short pause, and Lee could hear the unmistakable sound of pages being rustled.

“You mentioned that you acquired the thing from a company called, Rare Earth Imports, correct?”

“Yes, I went through an agent from their New York office.”

“Wrong. This, uh… Josef Perello fella you met in New York, never worked for them. He actually worked for a shipping firm out of Albany.”

“Albany?” Lee said, allowing his confusion to show through in his voice. “What the hell was he doing trying to sell Rare Earth Import’s shit?”

“That’s the really interesting thing,” Lloyd said. “Rare Earth Imports was never officially in possession of an imported reflecting pool. It was never listed in their sales list, manifests, or customs papers.”

“Well then, where in the hell did it come from?”

“You said it came from Crete?”

“That’s what Perello told me,” Lee said, “but, I checked for archeological discoveries, finds, and digs all over Crete going back five or more years. I got a whole lot of nothing.”

“That's because I think it may have secretly come from Knossos.”

“You think? Why is that?”

“Eight months ago, an archeological survey team was doing their thing in the Palace of Minos, and then all at once they were pulled out, and their equipment and findings were suppressed.”

“You don’t say?”

“I do say,” Lloyd told him. “At that same time, all non-government travel to Knossos was put on hold, and the government made lots of back and forths there until about three or four months ago, when they reopened the tourism.”

“Suppressed... which would explain why I found bupkis. This is beginning to make my head hurt,” Lee said. “So, what makes you think that this came from Knossos?”

“Here’s the fun part. An insurance policy was filed by the Greek government for two hundred million dollars, for an undisclosed item to be shipped from Crete to New York. Guess who?”

“The shipping company from Albany?”

“Bingo!” Lloyd said.

“I am not seeing the pieces here,” Lee admitted, rubbing at his face. “Where does Josef Perello come in at? Hell, for that matter, where do I come in at?”

“I'm not sure exactly,” Lloyd told him. “But, I am willing to bet that whatever it is that you have there, is something that wasn't supposed to be in the hands of a private party. If I'm right, somebody didn't just screw up; they fucked the pooch hard on it.”

“So you have no idea what the gazing pool was used for?” Lee asked.

“Historically, any number of things. It may have been a ceremonial cleansing basin, or a water retainer for predicting the future. The damn thing may have been used by Minos to make Halloween witch's brew.”

Letting a small silence pass, Lee sat down on the side of his couch, and regarded the windows in his kitchen. Then turning to look at the clock, he noted that it was time to make another phone call.

“Dude, you have done a hell of a job, like always. How do you find this stuff?”

“I'm an artist,” Lloyd said, suddenly sounding aloof.

“An artist?”

“I paint in information, and, I charge exorbitantly for every scrap of it too.”

“Yeah, I was wondering why my wallet was suddenly growing apprehensive, and wanting to flee the country.” Lee, took another look at the clock, and told him, “Hey, listen man, I hate to do this, but I've got other people to call.”

“Ah, the life of a celebrity,” Lloyd said, pretending to be impressed. “Always with the better things to do, huh?”

“When it comes to talking to you, there are always better things to do,” Lee said chuckling.

“I’m gonna keep looking into Josef Perello, figure out what he was doing. Until then, keep your head down, and your mouth shut about that thing in your yard. If it has a two hundred million dollar policy on it, then I don't have to imagine hard that someone will want it back.”

The sandwich shop took longer than necessary, but eventually, Rainbow Dash received her order; a cheese and tomato sandwich with dill, and a side of potato crisps.

Flying from Cloudsdale as fast as she could, she arrived at the post office in Ponyville with no time to spare.

“Has any-pony called?” she asked frantically as she raced through the doors.

“No-pony has called,” said Ditzy Doo, as she moved the counter top up and over to pass through and assist Rainbow Dash. “There hasn't been a call on that thing all day.”

“Okay, good.” she said, dragging a chair up and situating it next to the televox. “Unless of course, there is something wrong with the connection, and Lee can't get through.”

“That doesn't sound very positive,” Ditzy said, mildly scolding her.

“You’re right, there has to be a perfectly logical explanation for why Lee hasn’t called back since it’s only…” Looking at the clock on the wall, she let out a built up sigh of frustration. She was a few minutes early, there was plenty of time for Lee to call. All she had to do was keep calm and relax.

Pulling up a large empty cardboard shipping box, Rainbow Dash sat in the chair and began unwrapping her sandwich on the box just as a huge grumble coursed through her stomach.

Guess I should have eaten lunch today, she thought. Bringing the sandwich up to her mouth and taking a generous bite, Rainbow allowed her mind to wander momentarily, and considered all the reasons why she cared so damn much about some-pony calling or not calling. What difference did it make? She didn’t really know him. It wasn’t like she actually owed this h’yoomen anything; she certainly didn’t owe him her time.

What's the deal here, Rainbow?

The bite of sandwich was almost lost to her palate while she puzzled and mulled over the situation. From the corner of her eye, she could see Ditzy working on arranging some sorting bins. It didn’t escape her notice that Ditzy persistently angled her head in the general direction Rainbow Dash sat eating.

Halfway through her third bite of the sandwich, the televox began ringing, followed by the sudden urgency to immediately choke down her bite of food. A mild flail of her arm, a huge swallow, and a quick pound a time or two on her chest, and Rainbow was as composed as she would ever be.

Gingerly lifting the bell shaped ear piece from the cradle, she hesitated only a second before stammering out the word, “Yeah?”

“Do you seriously not know how to answer a phone?”

“Lee?” she asked, making sure it was in fact the sound of his voice, and not a dream, hallucination, or cruel prank.

“Only since the last time I checked.”

“I was a little worried that you wouldn't be able to call,” she said, letting out a small breath.

“I bet you spent all day thinking about my sexy voice, right?”

Turning her head just enough to make sure that Ditzy couldn't see her blush, she said, “You wish, buster. I have better things to do with my time than daydream over a h'yoomen.”

“So,” Lee said, acting miffed, “you didn't think about me, not once, all day?”

“Well,” Dash stammered. “I might have thought about you, but only because there was a very good reason.”

"Ooh, I can't wait."

"Twilight gave me a book this morning from the royal library, it has a story in it of a h'yoomen named Sir Perceval. You ever hear of him?"

"As a matter of fact, I have," Lee said. "He was one of the legendary knights of the round table, and if I'm remembering my Arthurian lore correctly; he and two other knights were charged with the task of recovering the holy grail. How is it that you could possibly have a record of Sir Perceval?"

"He came to our world, and was a companion of Star Swirl the Bearded, until he died. Apparently he once met with Princess Celestia... she's like our official monarch."

"That's weird," Lee said, "I would have figured Sir Galahad to have traveled to another world."

"Who's that?" Rainbow asked, doing her best to not sound as though she had a huge bite of food in her mouth.

"He's one of the three knights sent on the quest. He was also the only one to depart by supernatural means, but, then that was when he allegedly died. Say, your story wouldn't happen to mention how he got to Equestria would it?"

"No, sorry," Dash said. "It just mentions how he was found wandering around in the wilds, and that he was from a place called, Britannia."

"Well, that's still fascinating. I never would have guessed that Arthurian legend would be real."

"Sir Perceval isn't real?"

"Perceval, Galahad, Bors, Arthur... all those guys are so legendary, it's hard to know what about them is actually real. Their stories are from a time in our history when humanity liked to make shit up, or at least make it more than it was; to say nothing of our record keeping."

For a moment, Rainbow dash wasn't sure what to add to the conversation, and resolved to finish the last few bites of her sandwich, before taking a loud crunch from a potato crisp.

"Rainbow Dash, are you eating something?"

There were several more quick crunches heard through the earpiece, and Lee could hear the sound of a small gulp. "I'm eating my dinner."

"What's for dinner?"

"I had a sandwich and some potato crisps."

"Potato crisps?"

"Oh, sorry," Dash said, "I guess you don't know what that is."

"I know what they are," he said. "It's just that in America—where I live—we call them potato chips. They're called 'crisps' elsewhere in the world."

"That's kind of funny."

"How so?"

"All those different ways of saying the same thing. Doesn't it get bothersome?"

"You have no idea," Lee said. "If I were to go up north and tell someone that I washed my clothes at a washateria, they'd think I was crazy. Because up there, places they use to wash their clothes are called, laundromats."

Before he could say anything else, Rainbow Dash suddenly burst out in laughter, nearly dropping the earpiece. Unsure as to what was so funny, Lee waited until there was a break in the guffawing to ask what she found so hysterical.

Rainbow Dash offered a loud snort, then brought her fit under control, explaining that, "It's just that those are the funniest sounding words I've ever heard."

"Which ones?"

"Both of them," she said. "You make is sound like you do a lot of clothes cleaning."

"Well, we don't like going around naked, if we don't have to."

"Sounds like too much of a hassle for me—wearing clothes all the time, I mean."

"You wear clothes, just not all the time?" Lee repeated, making sure he heard correctly. "So then, most of the time, you just go around in the nude?"

"Ponies have fur, but yeah, I guess so."

"It doesn't bother you to go around in public with everything... hanging out?"

"I'm not sure I follow," Dash said, popping the last few crisps in her mouth, and chewing quickly to limit the amount of crunching she did into the receiver.

"What I mean is; you aren't embarrassed about others seeing your private places, and what-not?"

"Private places..." Dash said, still not quite sure she understood, but beginning to get the general idea.

"Jesus, I guess I have to paint a picture. What I mean is your girl and boy parts. That doesn't bother you?"

For some reason the last swallow of her crisps went down awkward, and Rainbow did her best not to choke. "Oh," she said, "that. It's not like we go around deliberately showing off our sex; it's there, and that's it. It's rude to stare, if that's what you're getting at."

"Sounds rather awkward," Lee admitted. "For humans, we are taught from a young age to keep ourselves properly covered. For us, going around showing off our sex is considered a cultural no-no."

"You're weird," Dash said, letting out a chuckle. "You wear clothes just to keep other h'yoomens from seeing your junk?"

"Not just that," Lee said in defense. "It also keeps us warm in the cold season, and then of course there is fashion to consider."

"We have fashion," Dash said. "But that's about the extent of our need for clothes, outside of say, practical reasons."

"If you say so," Lee said. There was a lot about Equestria culture that he would need to take for face value, or just trust was the best for their unique society.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Dash said, readjusting her sitting posture in the chair. "I finally went a full night without having a dream about the gazing pool."

"That's great," Lee said. "What do you think it means?"

"Hell if I know. But at least, I'm not two horse-hairs away from a straight jacket at Rustle Shores."

"I myself have been looking into the origins of these things. Seems to me that whatever they are, they may be more than just a device for inter-dimensional long-distance calling."

"You could touch it, if you wanted to."

"Please tell me you're talking about the pool."

"Duh... what else would you be wanting to touch? Wait, don't answer that."

Chuckling, Lee said, "To be honest, I was kind of wondering what would happen if I stuck something in there."

"We're still talking about the pool, right?" Rainbow Dash said, holding her hoof up over her eyes, then in unison with Lee the two of them began laughing.

"Why, Miss Dash, I think you're turning into a grade-A pervert."

"Kiss my ass, jerk-wad!" she mock-yelled into the receiver. "No wait, don't. You'd probably like it too much."

You know you want to see what happens. Why don't you just man-up and do something? This is nothing but another mystery to solve; and you won't get anywhere, sitting on your ass.

Rubbing at the bridge of his nose, Lee resolved that he was partially right. If he wanted answers, then the best thing for it was a little experimentation. What could it hurt right?

"I've got a crazy idea," Lee said abruptly.

"I was just kidding around about touching it," Rainbow Dash said, suddenly concerned. "If you mess with it too much, you might make it so we can't talk."

"I'm just going to try a small experiment," he said, "nothing dangerous."

For several long seconds, Rainbow considered the pros and cons of tampering with the one and only method the two of them could communicate, and after some quick rationalization with herself, and despite her better judgement, she relented. "Okay, conduct your experiment. Just don't blow yourself up."

"Is there anybody there with you in the post office?"

"Ditzy is here somewhere. Why?"

"We're going to need her help."

"What are you going to do?"

"Just call her over."

Bringing the ear piece away from the side of her head, Rainbow Dash looked out into the interior of the post office, and noticed that Ditzy was leaning up against the counter with her eyes closed. There were postage stamps stuck to her chest, and a small package laying on the floor beside her.

"Hey, Ditzy! Come here for a minute, we need your help."

Groggily, she roused up from her spot against the counter, and lazily walked over.

"Tell, Ditzy that I want her to man the phone there while you go to the pond. I'll tell her what to tell you, and she can go to you at the pool and relay what I'm saying."

"I think I get it," Dash said, turning to relay the instructions to Ditzy.

Once everyone had their assignments, Dash said, "I'll head to the pool now."

"Great! I'm gonna do my thing, then have Ditzy meet you at the pool and see if anything happened."

"Sounds complicated," Dash said. "All right, be back soon."

Waiting to the count of thirty, Lee figured it was long enough for her to fly the few blocks to the town square. The time was now.

"Okay Ditzy, I'm going to my pool here, when I say, I want you to go find Rainbow Dash, and see what's happened, then come back and tell me."

"Okay," Ditzy said, doing her best to suppress a big yawn.

Making his way out his back door and into the yard, Lee reached down and picked up a medium sized rock from the flower bed close to the house. Wiping the dirt off of it against the side of his jeans, he waited a few more seconds, and then dropped it into the shiny goo at the bottom of the gazing pool. The rock hit with no apparent splash, or ripple, and instantly disappeared.

"Ditzy?"

"Yeah?"

"Go find Rainbow Dash, and see what happened."

"Got it!" she said, then placed the ear piece on the box.

Still standing over the pool, Lee watched and waited. So far, nothing had gone boom, and nothing seemed to be ripping in the sky. So at least, the heavens weren't about to rend, or the fabric of space time melt down. Two minutes later, Ditzy came back on the line.

"I did it," she said, panting slightly. "She's excited because a rock popped out of it."

"Excellent," Lee said, wishing both hands were free so that he could rub them together with wicked glee. "Now, go back and tell her to toss the rock back into the pool."

"Roger!" she said, then bolted away once more.

Rainbow Dash was standing beside the pool, rubbing her hooves together in sheer excitement. There was no doubt that the rock had come from Lee. She was watching close when it suddenly popped out of the goo and landed on the ground a cubit or so in front of her. She was tempted to pick it up, but she wasn't sure what would happen, and, she didn't want to get ahead of anything that Lee might have in mind.

While still pacing back and forth, she heard the unmistakable sound of wings, and looked up to see Ditzy.

Landing in a huff, Ditzy panted a few times and said through short breaths, "He says to throw it back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Looking at the stone intently, she took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. Picking it up, she hoisted it back over her head, and threw it as hard as she could into the goo.

Lee was leaning over watching the surface of the liquid with his hands resting on his knees. Any second now, he would have proof that something could not only communicate with another dimension, but could also travel to another dimension. "Damn, this is better than Stargate," he said.

While still watching, the surface of the goo moved slightly, and a rock came flying out of the center, arching just enough to send the projectile on a perfect path into his forehead. The sheer force of the impact brought about a sudden thick wafting darkness, and Lee felt his body fall forward. His last thought was, Holy shit!

The passengers from the 7:20 began filing out of the passenger cars at the train station, just as an announcement for baggage claim came over the loud speaker. Walking deliberately and steadily down the ramp, Mystic Fire approached the baggage clerk and presented her claim ticket.

"Welcome to Ponyville," the clerk said, smiling broadly. "Let's see here... G-82. Give me just a tick, and I'll have that right out to you."

"Thank you," she said, adjusting the cloak and hood around her tighter before taking a few sideways glances at the other passengers.

"No problem," he said, then looking closer, he added, "Quite a long way from Griffonopoli, ain't it?"

Tightening the cloak, Mystic Fire said, "Yeah... it was a long trip."

Watching as the baggage clerk trotted off, Mystic Fire reached inside the cloak and produced another paper. Looking down at the lines, her eyes fixed on one name. Maude Pie.

After a few minutes, her bag was in front of her, and a solid gold bit had been passed to the clerk.

"Have yourself a good evening, ma'am."

"There is one thing, if you don't mind."

"Why, certainly."

"You wouldn't by any chance know how I can get to Sugacube Corner?"

"Of course. Come to sample the local delicacies?"

"Sorry, no. I'm here to find some-pony. They have something that belongs to me."