Pony Effect

After a successful mission to rescue an alliance contractor from a group of misplaced biotic terrorists, The Normandy SR2 was prepareing to 'make the jump' through the Omega Three Relay. The ship was dangerously low on fuel, but the Mass Relays could easily shoot them anywhere in the Milky Way without requiring a drop of fuel. It was, for a ship captain, the perfect machine. The ship's helmsman, Joker sat at his navigation terminal, eager for Commander Shepard to give his order.

"Commander," Joker said as he sat at his termenal. "I'm sure that whatever your doing is important, but that mass relay doesn't take us to the Citadel without an order from you."

Commander John Shepard was standing behind Joker. He had a datapad in his right hand to check his private messages, no doubt. He hit the datapad's power switch and it's orange glow dissapeared. "Joker, take us to the Citadel." He finally said.

"I love the way he waited until after my legs fell asleep." The helmsman mumbled.

  "What was that, Joker?"

  "Nothing. I'm taking us in now. Maybe you should take a seat." Joker grinned and guided the ship gracefully to the side of the Mass Relay. The Normandy was engulfed in an orange glow and shot like a bullet to what should have been the Citadel.

  The Normandy came to a rest. Shepard got up to the observation deck. All of the Navigational equipment was flashing the word ERROR.

  "Okay, not my fault," Joker defended, "We'll just do this the old fashioned way." He pointed to the observation windows.

  Commander Shepard peered out the window. He didn't see the Citadel, instead he saw a planet that looked almost exactly like earth, but it couldn't be earth, earth was in flames. this planet was peaceful, "Okay Joker, this isn't the citadel. Where the hell are we?"

  "Uh... well obviously we're at... um... somewhere," Joker replied stupidly, "Okay, I don't know; that mass relay must have malfunctioned."

  Shepard had no time for 'malfunctions', "This isn't the citadel. Take us out."

  EDI had been sitting at her termenal listening to their conversation, "Commander, I detect no mass relays within reach considering our current fuel status."

  Shepard began to grow frustrated, "EDI, at least tell me you know where we are."

  EDI responded, "I am unable to pinpoint our location."

  Joker commented, "Yep, and thanks to that we can't get help from Alliance Command. I blame this Cerberus tech. I knew they made this thing too fast. If you ask me, which no one will so I'll say it anyway, this Cerberus tech is just a buch of flashy..."

  EDI shot Joker a look that was as close to angry that her programing would allow.

  "... oh... uh... not you EDI. You're an acception," Joker stared  at her, "Oh yeah, you sure are."

  "Jeff, my optical sensors are up here," EDI said.

  Joker snapped out of his gaze, "Huh, oh yeah sure."

  Shepard looked at Equestria and thought, "EDI, do you detect any compatible fuel on that planet."

  EDI obeyed, "Scanning... yes, I have found significant mineral deposits that can be converted to fuel. Our modular probe bay is empty. You will have to secure it on foot and take it to an LZ for pickup."

  Shepard began to put on his N7 armor, "It's never easy is it? EDI, tell Garrus and Liara to meet me at the shuttels. We'll try and make this quick."