The Chocolate Factory

by Randomanous

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crossover
Length: 1666

Willie Wonka needs a new recipe for cooling down his chocolate ice cream...

Willie Wonka; owner of the world-famous Chocolate Factory, needs a new recipe for his ice cream.

Some of the other companies are making ice cream which will last longer than his!

Something must be done, how far is Willie going to go to make his ice cream the best?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-26 02:00:04 UTC

The Chocolate Factory

Willie Wonka paced around his factory corridors worriedly. Only a few weeks ago, one of the rival companies had started selling an ice cream which could stay cool at a temperature five degrees warmer than Wonka's Ice Cream. He needed to come up with a new recipe, how could he come up with another brilliant idea? He stopped and smiled. He would have a meeting with the Oompa-Loompas to decide a course of action.

~~~~~

As the last few Oompa-Loompas walked into the meeting room, Willie Wonka closed the door and walked back to his seat.

"Well, my fellow Wonka workers, we have a problem." He announced. "A few of you may have heard that a few days ago, Slugworth's released a new type of ice cream which can survive at higher temperatures than hours. Our sales have decreased by a whole 0.1 of a percent in the last few hours. This is a cause of concern..."

"If we don't get back on top, we could actually be worse than one of the other companies, and you all know that I vowed that would never happen. So, has anyone got any ideas?"

One Oompa-Loompa near the back of the room decided to speak up. "To make the ice cream last longer, we need to make it colder..."

Another one spoke. "And how are we supposed to do that?"

"We could always re-arrange the atomic structure of the ice-cream particles..." Willie Wonka mused. "No, we need a fast and easy solution, that would take too long..."

"We could always attempt Plan X..." one of the Oompa-Loompas suggested timidly.

"Plan X?" Willie Wonka asked. "That was a madman's idea!"

"Um, sir. It was your idea..." the Oompa-Loompa said.

"Oh, yes I suppose it was..." He trailed off. "Anyway, even if we were prepared to do something so crazy, we haven't finished developing the technology to do it yet..."

"Sir, actually we do. Last week, when that Oompa-Loompa went missing, we actually sent him back in time, to spend the rest of his life creating it." the Oompa-Loompa said.

"Oh, well I suppose desperate times call for desperate measures..." He said manically. "Put Plan 20% cooler into action..."

~~~~~

Rainbow Dash was napping on a cloud, when suddenly there was a large ripping sound, and Rainbow Dash woke up startled. She looked around for the source of disturbance but couldn't see anything. Just as she was about to lie back on her cloud, she felt a mild tugging sensation on her mane. She yelped as the tugging sensation increased and she started to slowly hover up into the air.

"Help!" She shouted, trying to catch the attention of somepony, but she was too high for anyone to take notice. As she got pulled harder and faster, she flapped her wings in a desperate attempt to escape. However, the force of this mysterious vacuum was too much for her, and she found herself rocketing towards the sky.

She suddenly entered a pipe of some sorts, and she was slowly forced up, making slightly amusing noises as she rubbed against the glass sides. The last thing she remembered before she passed out was what sounded like a large number of ponies singing.

"Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash. Burn her and use her ash.

Rainbow Dash, strong and fast. Now, you die at long last.

~~~~~

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes to see a strange biped creature looking down at her.

"Aaaaghhhhh!" She screamed. "Please don't hurt me!"

"Relax, I won't hurt you..." the creature said. "Probably..."

"Oh, I knew that." Rainbow Dash said hurriedly. "I wasn't scared..."

"Sure you weren't." The creature said sarcastically. "Anyway, I'm sure you're wondering why you're here?"

"Um, yeah." Rainbow Dash said suspiciously. "Why am I here?"

"Well, we need a new recipe for our ice cream, and our final plan depends on you." The creature explained.

"What have I got to do with you're ice cream plans?" She asked. "And who the hay are you?"

"Oh, I'm Willie Wonka, owner of this chocolate factory. And..." He was cut off by a small giggle.

"Willie..." Rainbow Dash sniggered.

"Seriously?" The creature asked. "I thought you were mature enough now..."

"Anyway, you are an important piece in my plan. In fact you are our last hope..." The creature said.

"Last hope? But what can I do?" Rainbow Dash asked confused.

"Oh, you really should know this..." The creature said cryptically.

"Know what?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously.

"Oh, everyone knows your famous for one thing right?" He asked.

"Everyone?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Don't you mean everypony?"

"Same thing," the creature said irritated. "Anyway, what are you most famous for?"

"Um, being awesome?" Rainbow Dash asked nervously.

"NO!" Willie Wonka shouted. "You are known for being 20% cooler! So, I figured, if you are 20% cooler, if we add bits if you too our ice cream, the ice cream will also be 20% cooler, and we will be back on top!"

"Dude, I only ever said that once..." Rainbow Dash said irritated. "Why does everypony have to keep mentioning it? Anyway, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure this plan of yours has no logic whatsoever..."

"Yes it does." Willie Wonka argued confused.  "I just add bits of you to my ice cream and it becomes cooler. Therefore it can survive higher temperatures."

"Dude, that means 'cooler' as in awesome, not 'cooler' as in chilly." Rainbow Dash said.

"Silence!" Willie Wonka snapped. "The fact that I believe this plan will work, is the only thing keeping me from snapping your scrawny neck..."

Rainbow Dash gulped.

"Wait a second, didn't you say you were going to put bits of me into the ice cream, do you'd be killing me either way?" She asked before she could stop herself.

"Thanks for the reminder!" Willie Wonka said enthusiastically. "Oompa-Loompa, come here and take this mare to the grinding machine!"

The Oompa-Loompa approached, and Rainbow Dash started sweating rapidly in fear.

"Wait, you don't need to kill me!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"I don't?" Willie Wonka asked.

"No, because, um, oh! If you keep me alive, you can put bits of mane in the ice cream, and I keep regrowing that, so you will have infinite cool ice cream until I die! But if you kill me, you only get a limited amount of ice cream!" She said nervously.

"Brilliant idea!" Willie Wonka exclaimed. "Why didn't I think of that before! Change of plan, take this mare to prison cell B-63!"

"Wait, what?" Rainbow Dash squealed.

"Oh, don't worry. The prison cell is made of chocolate!" Willie Wonka reassured the cyan Pegasus, as she was dragged off towards the cell.

~~~~~

A week later.

Rainbow Dash was tired and exhausted. She smelt like chocolate, and had hardly any mane nor tail left. They had drugged her food, so that her mane and tail grew faster and then fell out, so that they could collect it. It was a particularly painful process, as forced growth is generally harsh on the body.

She screamed as her newly grown tail slowly ripped apart away from her, and dropped in the floor.

It was picked up by one of the Oompa-Loompa standing by, who placed it on a conveyer belt, which led to the ice cream making area.

Rainbow Dash couldn't believe that the lunatic who had imprisoned her, had actually thought that his plan was working. Hopefully, somepony would realise what had happened, and rescue her. Until then, she sat in the darkness screaming in agony,

~~~~~

Pinkie Pie licked her ice cream, before spitting it out in disgust.

"Bleugh!" She exclaimed. "This is horrible."

The nearby ponies turned and stared in astonishment. The ice cream must have been really disgusting for Pinkie to refuse it.

She looked on the side of the packet, which she had left lying on the tabletop. Wonka's ice cream, now 20% cooler!.

She studied it in confusion. She was sure she had heard that phrase before. Oh yes! Rainbow Dash said it once.

Pinkie bounced off to find Rainbow Dash, to see whether she knew what the problem was.

~~~~~

Twilight Sparkle opened the door, to let in a pink ball of fluff, also known as Pinkie Pie.

"Twilight!" She said urgently. "I was looking for Rainbow Dash, and I had a combo! It was tail quiver, head shake, ear twitch, knee twitch, ear twitch, left eye twitch...-... knee twitch!"

"And what does that mean Pinkie?" Twilight asked impatiently.

"Oh, it means that Rainbow Dash has been kidnapped by humans to make ice cream!" Pinkie said, desperation in her voice.

Twilight started laughing. "Hahaha, good one Pinkie. I'm not falling for another of your's and Rainbow's pranks. Humans..."

"No, seriously!" Pinkie said. "Do a spell, you won't find Rainbow Dash!"

"Okay, whatever you say Pinkie..." Twilight said, still amused.

She cast the spell, and gasped.

"You-you, were telling the truth!" Twilight said in shock.

"Yeah," Pinkie said angrily. "I may not be the Element of Honesty, but I wouldn't lie to my friends about that..."

"Sorry, Pinkie." Twilight apologised. "But, the most important thing now is that we find Rainbow Dash!"

"I agree!" Pinkie said.

Pinkie grabbed held of Twilight, and walked through a portal which had just appeared in front of them.

"How did you do that?" Twilight shouted as they travelled through the portal."

"Just basic Pinkie physics, Twilight." Pinkie responded.

They reached the other side, and both gasped in horror.

The once familiar mare they were looking for, was now just a shadow of her past self.

"No more!" Rainbow Dash said blindly to nopony.

"Th- this is horrible!" Twilight said. "Get us out of here Pinkie!"

"Okay!" Pinkie replied, and she grabbed onto the broken mare, and walked back through the portal.

~~~~~

Rainbow Dash woke up at the sound of her alarm.

"Wow, what a strange dream..." She muttered. "I guess you really shouldn't eat cheese before you go to bed..."

The End.

Probably.