Ahh. Where am I? though James. The last thing I remember was... going to sleep last night.
"Keep it moving keep it moving!" yelled an angry male voice. James looked to the left to see he was in a cage. And not just any cage, a cage, on a cart. And standing before him, shouting, was a horse. Well, more of a pony than a horse.And a weird pony at that. It was about 4 ft tall, it's snout was oddly shaped, there was a horn coming out of it's head, it's eyes were too large and surprisingly human, it's mane was strangely human, it had an odd mark on it's butt(an American Blue Cross) and it's fur was red.
What the? Zack wondered, shocked into silence.
"Get these humans moved TODAY you lazy foals!" shouted the "pony".
Wait. Humans? As in plural of human? James looked around and say that, yes, he was surrounded by other humans, both male and female, naked, in cages, which were also in carts, which were being pushed by more 'ponies'. Except these were not normal humans. They looked feral. As in "I would tear you to shreds if I got close enough to" feral. Well that's weird. He thought.
"Yes sir Mr Blue Cross." said another "pony",(this one with a feminine voice) who was pushing another cart with a feral human in it.
"Don't be a kiss-flank Clear Skies." replied 'Blue Cross".
Blue Cross? Clear Skies? What kind of names are those? And... are those wings?!James thought. Great. I seem to have been captured by a band of talking unicorns and pegasi, who happen to be transporting what appears to be feral humans, and they think I'm one, because... I haven't spoken yet. That made him think for a moment. Should I say anything? He asked himself Probably not. He decided. If the government here is anything like home, than I'll be vivisected faster than I can say "Please don't hurt me". I mean, what would happen if a dog suddenly started talking?. He asked himself. I'll only talk if they try to neuter me or something. And that was that.
"I think this one needs some food, sir." said the pony pushing his cart.
"And what makes you say that?" demanded Blue Cross.
"Well, sir, he appears to be an extremely healthy human. Large muscles, a healthy amount of fat, clean teeth, tall, he's intact, and his hair is in great condition."
"So?"
"So, sir, this human appears to be one of the highest quality humans we've ever captured, and he can be breed. Therefore, quite a few ponies would be willing to pay a large amount of bits for him. I believe it is in our best interests that we keep that quality as high as we can before selling him."
"Hmm. What did you say your name was again?"
"Flying High, sir."
"Well Flying High, I believe you may just have a future here."
"Thank you sir."
"Now give that man some food and water."
"On it sir." Flying High walked off, coming back a few minutes later with a bowl of food(a raw fish, an apple, and some grapes) and one of water. She opened a small flap in James's cage and placed them inside. He walked over to them and slowly began to eat. First he ate the grapes by picking them off and eating them one by one. When they were finished, he ate the apple. Then he took a look at the raw fish.
Well it's not like I have a choice. He thought before slowly taking a bite. My God. It's delicious! He mentally exclaimed. Probably just my feral instincts talking, but GOOD GOD I LOVE IT! After finishing the fish he realized he was extremely thirsty. So he picked up the bowl, put his lips to it, and tilted it, causing water to flow into his mouth.
"That defiantly isn't normal human behavior." said Blue Cross.
"No, it's not." noted Flying High.
"Still." said Clear Skies. "That just means he's special. He'll fetch an even high price on the market this way."
"Good thinking." said Blue Cross. "Now let's get him there."
It took about three days to get to the market. During this time, James realized he was naked. He didn't like it, but he got over it. He was feed a bowl of food just like the first one three times a day, and with a bowl of water every time he ran out. He noticed there was no toilet or chamber pot within his cage, so he assumed to ponies expected him to "do his business", in the cage. When he did that, no one seemed to notice. Still, it was weird no being able to wipe his butt. Or needing to restrict where he "took a dump". Eventually, he got to a open market place. He watched as a sign was placed on each human cage. Each cage, but his. It took a few hours, but eventually every other human was sold to a pony. Then a stallion(he had picked up their terminology by now. From what he could tell, they said 'nopony' instead of no one or nobody, foal meant child or baby, colt was a boy, filly was a girl, stallion was a man, mare was a woman, and they worshiped someone named "Celestia") noticed him. The stallion's masculine frame was a dead give away. He was wearing a cloak that obscured him but form what James could see he had a black coat, and was a unicorn. "Hey traders. How much for that human over there?" he asks, pointing to James.
"Oh, that human?" replied Blue Cross. "He's not for sale."
"Oh, he's not?" asked the pony. "Too bad. I was willing to pay a rather large amount of bits for that human."
"Oh, too bad then." said Blue Cross. "Just out of curiosity, how many bits would you be willing to pay? Hypothetically, of course."
"Oh, I don't know. Hypothetically, I could offer about... a million bits?"
"A MILLION BITS!" said Blue Cross, shocked. "Okay then, how about we see if this hypothesis a reality, shall we?"
"Yes we shall." replied the pony, who pulled out a bag of coins and handed/hoofed the bag to Blue Cross.
"Sweet Celestia this is a lot of money. Alright, you got yourself a deal." said Cross. "Here's his paperwork." he stated as he handed/hoofed the stallion a clipboard.
"Let's see here, 6 ft 4 in, rather tall, an abnormal amount of muscle, very good(James prided himself on his bi-daily trips to the gym), a nice coat and amount of fat, excellent, intact, well that's to be expected from a human this beautiful, and age: unknown. Approximately 5 years."
5 years, what?! James mentally screamed. How long do humans live here?
"All in all, a very good human." said the pony. "I'll take him."
"Alright. Sign here." said Blue Cross as he handed/hoofed the stallion another clipboard and a quill. The stallion signed the paper and handed/hoofed the contract back. "Shadow Star. Interesting name."
"Thank you sir." said the stallion(now known to be "Shadow Star") as he hooked himself up to the cage's yoke. "Goodbye." Then he began to walk away. He pulled James's cage along for a long time. Several hours, across several roads, until, finally, they got to a warehouse.
Well this doesn't look suspicious at all. He though.
"Alright human." said Shadow. "We're here, your new home."
Wa? though James. You mean to say you live here? He said silently.
"Here," Shadow Star continued. "You are going to fight other humans, and earn me lot and lots of money."
Ah. James though. I'm going to the human equivalent of Dog Fights. Oh. Well that's not good.
"Now come inside and meet your host." said Shadow. Shadow put a collar on him, and a leash on the collar. As Shadow lead him through the building, James noticed that the walls were lined with torches.
Ponies must not have light bulb technology. He decided. Eventually, they got to a stables-area.
"Yo, stallion." said a young mare(light pink coat, pink and white mane and tail, no wings or horn, butt mark:a red quill next to a clipboard.) with a clipboard "You have to register your human before you can put him here."
"Oh. Right." said Shadow. "Do you have the forms? And a quill?"
"Yes and yes." said the mare. She handed/hoofed him a quill and a clip board. Shadow quickly filled it out and handed it back to her.
"Ah, Shadow Star, was it? You forgot to give your human's name."
"Oh, well, he doesn't have one."
"Well then give him one ya deface."
"Alright... how about...Vulcan?"
"Why ya asking me? He' s your human."
"Oh. Right." said Shadow Star sheepishly.
Vulcan, like the roman god. I kinda like it.
"Alright, Mr. Your human is scheduled for his first fight... next week. You have until then to get him situated in him stall. At Wednesday 2:30 PM, a pony will come and get him for the fight."
"Alright then." replied Shadow Star. "Which stall is his?"
"Number 26, it's on the left."
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it." said the mare as And Shadow began leading James(now known as Vulcan) into the stalls. He found the stall labeled 26 and let him into it.
"Now stay here until the fight." commanded Shadow.
Like I have much of a choice. thought James. And he resigned himself to the boredom of being stuck in a stale for a week. In order to keep entertained, he first though about books he had read, sports he had plaid, and such things. That became boring after about an hour. Then he tried whistling, until he was yelled at by a guardspony. Then he tried staring at the torch on the other side of the wall. Eventually, he decided If the ponies can do magic, maybe I can too. And so he tried what he had read online about pyrokinesis. At first, you had to simply stare at the fire, for hours on end. Then you try to move it. For six hours, James stared at that torch, six whole hours. He felt something click in the back of his mind. He tried to move it. Nothing. Oh well. He though. Wasn't expecting anything to happen anyway. Then he let sleep take him.
Author's Note
If you don't know what the American Blue Cross is, it's also known as the Blue Cross Animal Hospital. And yes, it's real.
It was time. Today was the day. Today James, AKA Vulcan, had his first fight. And it wasn't going to be pretty. "HELLO EVERYPONY!!" shouted the announcer over the loud speaker. "HOW ARE YOU ALL TODAY?!" The crowd respond by cheering even louder.
Great. thought James. They're all nutcases. I mean seriously, how can a herbivore species enjoy the sight of blood?
"ARE.YOU. READY TO SEE SOME BLOOD?!" shouted the announcer.
Well, apparently like this. James thought.
"TONIGHT" yelled the announcer. WE HAVE SOME FRESH BLOOD!" That made the crowd go crazy.
"FRESH BLOOD!' They cheered. "FRESH BLOOD!" James was handed a single-edged sword, with a blade about two feet long, and a hand and a half handle. It was some fusion of a samurai's katana and a vorpal blade. He held it in his right hand.
Well this is gonna be messy. He thought as a door opened in the wall,'
"IN THIS CORNER" yelled the announcer. WE HAVE OUR FRESH BLOOD, VULCAN!" The crowd cheered. AND IN THIS CORNER, IS THE MIGHTY THOR!!"
Thor? Really? Is it just me, or is there a god-naming thing going on here that I missed the memo for? James thought. He peered across the stadium and saw Thor. Thor was almost 6 ft high, rather tall for a human of this world, well muscled, was wearing an animal-fur tunic, had dirty blond, short hair, and was carrying a massive hammer in his right hand. Well this won't end well. James thought, as Thor charged him. James, however, calmly walked about ten feet forward. He'll be reckless. I'll let him tire himself out, then I'll fight back. He thought. Just as he thought, Thor was absolutely reckless, swinging his hammer wildly, in an almost predictable manner. Clearly he was used to fighting opponents that had never heard of the words dodge, block, and parry. Well, not that I think about it, they never had. James thought smugly. After about 10 minutes of swinging, Thor paused, and breathed heavily for a moment, before going right back to swinging. Good, James thought. He's weakening. 5 more minutes passed. Thor caught James in one of his swings."Ahh!" he cried out, but the crowd loved it. Just a little bit more...just a little bit more... James told himself. NOW!! James mentally screamed as he struck back. He swung his blade low slicing Thor's leg, then in a quick motion, he swung his leg forward, behind Thor's. Without pausing for a second, he swept it backwards, causing Thor to fall on his back. All this happened in the blink of an eye. James held the point of his sword to Thor's throat and placed his right foot on top of Thor's hairy chest.Thank god for those karate classes mom made me go to.... and the weapon training... even though it was only on Saturday... Silently, he looked up at the announcer, bearing a disapproving look on his face. The announcer stared confusedly for a moment, before regaining his composure.
"WELL HUMAN FIGHT FANS!! boomed the announcer. IT SEEMS VULCAN IS OFFERING US A CHOICE!! NOW, PRAY TELL, SHALL WE LET THE FALLEN WARRIOR LIVE?!"
"NO!" replied the crowd.
"SO BE IT!!' With that, he nodded at James.
I can't thought James. But I must. So he steeled himself, and in one quick motion, drove his blade into Thor's neck, killing him, spilling his blood everywhere.
