Angry Sex is SO Worth the Four-hour Train Ride

Two mares held one another tightly as they slept, snuggling each other lovingly. One was a white unicorn with an electric blue mane and tail. The other was a grey earth pony with a black mane and tail. They were in absolute bliss, happy to be sleeping in one another’s company for the first time in a while. With her busy schedule, it was rare for Octavia to visit Vinyl in Ponyville. Tonight, after having had an amazing time dining on one another’s nether regions, they were quite content holding each other as they slept.

Suddenly a loud thump woke the couple up. They looked up to see two dark figures, one an alicorn, the other an earth pony in a mask.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” All four Ponies screamed. The horns of the unicorn and alicorn illuminated the room.

“Vinyl Scratch?!”

“Doctor Cobra?!”

“Octavia?!”

“Dashing Knight?!”

“What the hell are you two ponies doing in my house?!” demanded Vinyl Scratch.

Doctor Cobra facehoofed. “Dammit. We’re in the wrong house.”

“Oh. My. Celestia! It’s her!” exclaimed Dashing Knight. “It’s Vinyl Scratch! Oh my gosh, I’m totally fangirling right now!” She took off her sunglasses and handed them to Vinyl. “Sign my shades?!”

“Uh…sure…” Vinyl said as she levitated over a signing quill. “Who do I make this out to-?”

“Dashing Knight!” the star-struck Dashing proudly proclaimed.

“To my awesome fan, Dashing... Keep calm and wub on… Vinyl Scratch… There you go,” Vinyl said as she wrote out the autograph and handed it to Dashing.

“Thank you so much!” Dashing squeed.

“Honestly, Vinyl,” Octavia chastised her marefriend in disbelief. “Two ponies break into your house and you give them an autograph! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Hey,” Vinyl shrugged. “I do anything for my fans.”

Octavia facehoofed. “Vinyl Scratch. Some days, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”

“We’re sorry for intruding,” Doctor Cobra apologized. “We obviously have the wrong house. Which one belongs to Filthy Rich?”

“Oh,” Vinyl muttered angrily, as if that name were one she despised. “Him? He lives next door.”

“Thanks. And sorry for intruding,” Doctor Cobra apologized again. “Dashing, luv, please be a dear and wait outside for a moment, would you?”

“Um, okay.” Dashing left the room, shutting the door behind her.

Doctor Cobra made sure his mask was fastened tightly before pulling a small aerosol can from his inside coat pocket, the one opposite of the gun he’d brought. He sprayed it at the two mares, making them go unconscious. He put the spray-can back in his pocket and left the room.

“I knew bringing that Forget-Me-Gas was a good idea,” he told Dashing.

Dashing was barely paying any attention to what he was saying; she’d just gotten an autograph from her favorite musician.