Here I am, lying in this field full of flowers and plants, it’s beautiful. I looked around me; there’s no one else here. I’m a little uneasy, but something is telling me that everything is alright. I close my eyes and think about everything, I think about what I have; escapism. I feel a little sad, and a little happy... My emotions are fighting each other, and I don’t know what to do.
I remember that day… That day...
--
“I’m not quite sure how to say this,” The doctor said, I was worried.
“You have an islet cell neuroendocrine tumor.” he said grimly. I just looked at him with a confused expression.
“W-What...?” I replied back, scared half to death.
“You have an incurable cancer, Twilight. I would say you have about three to six months to live. I’m… I’m so sorry.” He sadly confirmed, looking down at the ground.
I looked at him, trying to comprehend what he had just told me, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but I didn’t cry, or sob; I just slowly walked out of the hospital.
“Twilight! Uh, where are you going?” The doctor called out after me.
“I’m going home.” I answered simply. I really just wanted to drain away my sorrows.
--
I’ll always remember that day for the rest of my life.
It was a day when everything in my life changed; it changed into a stage where I always thought could never go back again.
I would slowly slip away from reality, into dreams. It’s in my dreams that I never had to worry about any problems. It’s in my dreams that I could feel whatever I want to feel; it’s in my dreams that I’m completely care-free.
I’m not here to tell you about how great life is, no; I’m here to tell you to make the right choices in your life.
For the last few weeks, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “Who am I?” because I certainly did NOT feel like the same Twilight Sparkle that my friends knew. I knew I need to change something.
I never did change anything though; I was the same Twilight Sparkle that the world has always known, now almost gone... Fading away, eventually being completely forgotten to the sands of time.
However, I knew there were some ponies who would never forget me; my friends. The friends that made me into the pony that I was. I say “was” because I really wasn’t the same pony as I used to be.
I was always empty. Empty with sorrow and regret for the choices that I failed to make. I need to fix it, and I need to make the right choices.
However, before I could do that, I needed to get out. I needed to get out this phase that I’m in; not wanting to deal with... well, anything.
I remember all of the fond memories I had of Equestria; from when I first met everypony, to when I really just went insane because I couldn’t write a letter to Celestia in time, and even back to when I got my cutie mark… everything. A lone tear travels down my cheek and finds its way to the grass beneath me.
If I had one wish, it would be to go back for just a day, for me to tell everypony how much I’ll miss them. But at the same time I want to avoid it, although I’m not sure why. I was scared, and I was lost… Lost within my own life, if that even makes sense; there’s really no other way to put it.
I looked up at the beautiful blue sky... It’s amazing. Well, everything here is amazing, too amazing to even be real. I think about it; of course it’s not real, I was just lost in my own dreams again.
When I was young, my dad would always tell me that no matter what happens, I should always look toward the bright side of things. Now however, I fear whether-or-not there is a bright side to any of this.
I think back a little bit more; I remember the conversation that Princess Celestia and I had...
--
“Twilight, can we please have a talk?” She asked, in a stern but kind tone.
“Alright,” I replied, Celestia paused.
“Twilight, I think you need to know this. After all of these years, you’ve learned so much, but at the same time… so little.” She sadly finished.
“What do you mean?” I nervously asked, she looked right at me.
“Twilight, there’s still one very important lesson you need to learn. A lesson that cannot simply be taught; you need to experience it for yourself.”
“Lesson? What are you talking about...?” I questioned, but she had already left. She vanished...
--
I always thought that my problems would just work themselves out. Now, I know for a fact that’s not true, and I hate myself right now for being so stupid.
Knowing that I’m going to die soon has said a lot to me. It’s telling me that now, and only now, I need to think, and I need to make some choices. I can die and stay here, in this perfect world, where you never need to makes choices, or do anything for that matter...
Or I can step up, look death in the face, and be the pony that I am.
You have the power to choose the right path, Twilight. You can do it.
But could I do it? Did I really have the power to do this?
I kept thinking, until something finally hit me, a thought that I had never ever thought of before. It wasn’t even a thought; it was this feeling that I had, like an emotion, almost.
I still don’t have the words to express what this was, and even to this day I still wonder what that even was, but I’ll tell you this; whatever it was, it struck me right in the face. I remember just standing there, baffled at what this was, has anypony every experienced the same thing that I did? Was this the lesson?
Right when I asked that question I knew I already realized I knew the answer. I saw a light, a light so incredibly bright that it could easily make a normal pony go blind. However, as I looked towards the luminous radiance, I saw something behind it.
I got up and galloped towards it, I could feel the wind in my face as I started to run even faster. The light was starting to escape from my line of sight, but something just told me to keep on running, so I did.
It was the fastest I had ever ran. I kept running until the light was just ahead of me, and when it was, I jumped towards it to close the distance. When I jumped, I got this feeling that I would disappear. I just… knew it.
I looked around me; at the trees, at the grass, at the sky, and everything else. I whispered a small goodbye. This was it...
--
I woke up in my bed on Monday morning; I looked at my hooves, and realized, I was here.
I was here.
I couldn’t believe it, it was a miracle. I was ecstatic. Ecstatic that I was alive and here, and now I could really make a difference in my life. That lesson that I experienced, I really wished I could explain it to you, but it was like Princess Celestia said; you need to experience it for yourself.
So, what did I learn from all of this? I’ll tell you.
I learned that you really can’t let small things get the best of you, it was my dreams in my case. I learned that you really need to hold on to life, because it’s really quite a ride. I learned what it means to prepare to die.
It means to live the life that you once thought you would have for 80 years, with now only months to live. It means to achieve everything you ever wanted to achieve; it means to forgive and forget...
It means to say your goodbyes.
Author's Note
Hello! I really hope that you enjoyed this story, and feel free to leave comments,
I'll love to read them!
And a big thanks to
Don't Look At My Name Bro for editing this story!
(http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Dont+Look+At+My+Name+Bro)
Well, see you soon!
- InsertBronyUsernameHere
