The Adventures of Lyra Pimpstrings and Ninja Bon-Bon

Ponyville Stadium

7:00

October 4

“Hello fillies and gentlecolts! My name is Lyra Pimpstrings! And this here is Ninja Bon-Bon. Tonight we are going to perform one of our first songs. Now, before we begin, we all know why we’re here tonight. I have decided to take a lover. Now who shall it be? You? You? (Ninja Bon-Bon points to a group of stallions.) Yeah, that whole section looks good. Now who should it be- Oh wait it’s you.”

Lyra walks over to a tan coated stallion. “What’s your name?”

“Bass Clef.”

“Bass? The name of an angel.”

A rabbit jumps into the crowd.

“Now then, let us begin, HIT IT NINJA BON-BON!”

Bon-Bon rolls her eyes and begins playing the track.

The Decision

You're probably thinking to yourself

"Pony Sex Party, you're awesome!"

We know

But thank you anyway

You're having trouble deciding

Which one of us to have sex with

That's natural

But nice of you to say

Well maybe I can help you out

Clear up all of your confusing doubts

Do you want sex with a ninja

Or sex with a mare like me

(Bass’ snout begins to bleed.)

The choice should be so obvious (Lyra)

And although she is mysterious (Bon-Bon)

Don't you want a mare who’s green she plays lyre

And gets kinky.

(Keyboard Solo!)

One other thing...

Everyone in the band has an STD

Except for me

By the process of elimination

You can make determinations

On who just that might be

It's Bon-Bon

Bon-Bon has an ST-

OOF!

(Bon-Bon was not happy about that.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Backstage

7:45

August 4

“Great first concert, eh Bon-Bon?”

Bon-Bon merely glared at Lyra.

“E-excuse, are you Lyra Pimpstrings?”

“Why yes, pleased to make your acquaint-” Lyra stopped as a beautiful mare walked towards the practice room.

“I- I would like- like..”

“Autograph? Hoofprint? Date?”

“Date?”

Did I just say that? “Nothing, whaddya need, Ms…”

“Frostbite.”

“Frostbite? Name of… I guess I already used that one tonight.” Lyra put her hoof behind her neck.

“I was wondering if I could get your autograph for my friend Bass? He was too nervous to come in.”

“Bass? Oh, him. I didn’t get him too much did I?”

“He’s… Well, he’s not the best at talking to people. Kinda sensitive.”

“Oh, okay then. Actually, I think I’ve met him before. Back in Lapis’ Music School.”

“I think he remembers too.”

A new voice walked in. “Frost, are you done?”

“Oh! Bass. I was about to get the autograph for you.”

Lyra walked over to Bass. “Hey man, how ya been?”

“I feel like I should remember you… Your name sounds familiar.”

“Perhaps it’s Lapis’ Music School?”

“Lyra! I remember now. How are you?”

“I’m good. Bon-Bon’s back too.”

“That’s nice. So, can I get your autograph?”

“Sure. To my old friend Bass.”

“Thanks Lyra, I’ll see you later.”

Frostbite and Bass walk out of the room.

“That was probably the cutest couple I’ve ever seen.”