Our story begins in a place very familiar to those who read this. It's name is Earth, home of the human race. The most powerful, inventive, creative, violent, chaotic race of mortals that ever lived. But that may not be a bad thing. For some things cannot be reasoned with, only fought off, and freedom is a thing worth dieing for. And freedom cannot be without chaos, but perhaps I'm getting a little off track...oh, what's that? I should stop breaking the forth wall? Fine.
Anyway, on this place known as Earth, there is a continent known as "North America". And upon this continent of "North America", there is a country, perhaps the most powerful country in the world, is the "United States of America". Seems horribly uncreative doesn't it? Anyway, within this USA, somewhere in the state of "New York", there was a guy. 16 years old, still in school, no job, the works. This guy was absolutely average in every way. Well, almost every way. Every way but one. His parents didn't like him. In fact, they kinda wanted him gone. While this is uncommon, let's face it, it happens. Well today is their lucky day, because today, a certain god was looking for some back up.
Now, it you didn't read the description, I'll explain what a god is.
A god is one of the most powerful spirits around. If you don't know what a spirit is, well, it's a immortal being from the Otherworld, often more skilled in the power of one "element" that often creates a mortal form to act out it's will on the mortal planes. If they come to such mortal planes as their true selves, nothing but the high magic, a power one in a million is born with the power to wield, can harm them. Fortunately, doing this is possible only at the end of a cosmic shift that takes ages upon ages to complete. And even then the gate can be blocked by other spirits. A mortal can ascend to become a spirit often upon the event of their death.
Anyway, a certain god was looking for some back up. He was Discord, God of Chaos and Disharmony. Neither of which are completely bad. After all, freedom is good, but it times of conflict, many would consider a stricter order a better course of action, but that's not the point. Now, Discord was prowling around the Earth to find the best backup he could find. He knew he couldn't trust a witch, and he couldn't train a wizard(it would take too long and he didn't know how)(there is a difference beyond gender). Therefore, he decided,I'll make a new spirit. And so it was decided. He would find a human that wouldn't be missed and turn them into a spirit. The process took a considerable amount of power, but only a few hours. Unlike the other way, which was train a wizard and wait for him(or her) to die. And considering a powerful wizard could live for more than a thousand years, it wasn't going to happen any time soon. "Now," Discord said,"Where to find such a human." It took him a few hours, but eventually he found our guy. By this time, it was about 12:30 PM, so the human was in bed, trying to get some sleep before he had to get up at 7 tomorrow. "Hello little mortal."
"Huh? What? Who are you? No, wait. Better question, what are you?" The creature he was looking at, well, it looked like a child had taken his toys apart and glue semi-random pieces together. Sure, the left leg was a left leg, the head was a head, and the eyes matched, but any semblance to the natural ended about there. The creature had red eyes with yellow whites, he had two wings, one feathered and one leathery, though he floated aloft without falling them, one arm was a talon and the other was a lion's paw. He had two legs, one brown and hoofed and the other clawed and green, two mismatched horns, a goat's head with a curved snageltooth, complete with a beard, and a black mane. His torso was covered in brown hair and he had a red scaley tail that ended in a feather of sorts.
"A curious one, I'm glad. Anyway, allow me to introduce myself. I am Discord, God of Chaos and Disharmony."
"Nice name you got there." The human said sarcastically.
"Why thank you." Replied Discord, oblivious to the sarcasm. Apparently the don't have that in the Other world. "Regardless, I am here for a reason."
"And what would that be?"
"Why,you of course."
"And what interest could a god possibly have in me?"
"Well backup of course!"
"Backup? How so?"
"Well," said Discord, who then explained what a god is, as you read in the earlier paragraph. If you were too lazy to read that, raise you're hand. Do it. I don't care how stupid you look, in bed, at the computer, at your desk, raising your hand for no apparent reason. Raise it. NOW!!! Excellent. Now feel the shame. Alright, now go read it. The paragraph above. The rest of us will wait here for you..... are you done yet? How about now? Now? Alright then, let's continue.
"So why do you want backup?"
"I was recently defeated on a mortal plane not far from here. Now my enemy's numbers have increased. So I need more power, an ally perhaps. That's where you come in. I can tell you want out of your life, your parents want you out of their lives, and who would turn down spirithood?"
"You mean godhood."
"Well, not exactly. As I said, a god is just an extra-powerful spirit. I can make you a spirit, but not a god, you'll have to get there on your own."
"Alright, what's the catch? Immortality, magic, escape. If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't. So tell me, what's the catch?"
"Oh, nothing really, well maybe one thing..."
"What is it?"
"Well, your first mortal form as a spirit will be completely random, neither of use can influence it in any way, and there is a slight chance of you well, being turned to stone for a thousand years."
"WHAT?! Wait, a thousand years? That's oddly specific."
"I know, our enemies have these things called "The Elements of Harmony". As you know, harmony is balance between order and chaos and as a spirits of disharmony I don't like that. Now, the elements can only destroy mortals, and even then only if used on them twice. Any effect they have on you is ended when you are hit with them again or in thousand years."
"You know what? I'm okay with that. Let's do this."
"Alright then." said Discord as he began to gather power. "I should warn you though." He said. "This might hurt." With that, he shot a beam of red light out of his mouth and onto the human. People all the way on the other side side of town could hear his scream.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" the human screamed in agony.
"Well I did warn you." deadpanned Discord.
"HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"Oh, yeah, first mortal form, that'll be extremely painful. " said Discord as the new-born spirit's mortal form began to take shape. "Well, that's rather unexpected."
"What is?" asked the spirit in an unusually feminine voice for a male. "What happened to my voice?" said the spirit, in a panicking tone.
"Well, maybe you should take a look for yourself." replied Discord as he pulled out a small mirror and handed it to the younger spirit.
"What the-!" exclaimed the spirit, as they say their reflection. The face looking back at them way definitely human, or at least nearly human, but it wasn't him. Heck, it wasn't even a him. It was a her. To be more specific, he was a she. "What."
"Yes, I know, the odds of this were about 9 million to 1.38765465435680087678859573546547684623567896%. A male spirit with a female mortal form, it's one of the most unlikely things in existence."
"What." said the human again, as ~~he~~ inspected him-no-herself. Hands. She thought. Still got hands. Legs, good, I'll be needing those. Now to see what else I've got. She though as she felt her new body. The breasts are new,and the overall figure is a bit unfamiliar, but all in all, suddenly, a thought popped into the spirit's mind. No, it couldn't be.... she thought as she rubbed the area of her genitals were, under her cloths. Sure enough she didn't feel anything, well, unless you count a hole as something. Oh, God. I'm female. She though, shocked. It's one thing to know it, but to feel it, is another matter entirely.
"Fu-
Author's Note
We interrupt this fan fiction for purposes of maintaining our "Everyone" specification. See ya soon audience! Or not! Chaos to you all!
