Fallout Equestria - Long Way Home

Chapter Eight- A Night on the town

         "Passivity... I'll try it. No promises though."

        Waking up in an old house located by the blacktop wasn't a happy event. Most of my chest was severely burned yesterday, and those healing potions weren't that effective at fixing the problem.

“Well, atleast the burns are mostly gone.” I said aloud.

        Looking down at my armor I saw that the chest plate still looked to be in good condition even after absorbing most of the heat from those energy weapons. My duster had a decent sized hole in it from those alien things claws, that reminded me that I needed to find a needle and thread. Where do you find spare leather? Getting off of the couch I had slept on last night just confirmed my soreness from the shit that had happened yesterday. While I waited for my M.R.Es to self heat, I took one of the alien power cells from my bag and just moved it around in my hands. I wonder if the aliens have hands? Would they be friendly? If they're hostile how would I kill them and take their shit to get home?

                                                ---===*===---

        I was on my way down the blacktop once again after eating my meal. It was about noon when I heard a hovering noise from behind me. I was turning around while getting Epilogue into my grasp to meet the robot assailant.

        “Can you please not shoot this sprite bot?” I heard the last part of that statement from the 'sprite bot' right as I finished turning round to face it.

        “Please tell me there's not a brain in this thing,” I say less to the machine and more to the universe at large.

        “You're fine, I'm actually far away from here. My name is watcher, I would shake your hoof if I could.” He says attempting to humor me.

        “I don't have hooves, and why are you talking to me. Wait...ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL ME SHIT.” I say in a better attempt at humor.

        “No... well, not anything physical physic-”

“So you are trying to sell me something, better not be a time share or some shit.” I say playing with this disembodied voice.

“No I just wanted to say hello, and tell you to make a frien-”

        “No... thats not possible...somehow you're worse than the Jehovah's witnesses atleast they don't use robots to preach to aliens.” Fucking with this guy is the most fun I've had in like a week. Even if it was only funny to my own esoteric sense of humour.

        “I don't even know what you're talking about? Now back to what I was saying, you need to find friends. Maybe starting with this other human I found,”

        “What there's another human being around here, is he an asshole?” I spit out the first things that come to my mind.

        “Yes I'm not lying to you, and yes he's an asshole. Blew up four sprite bots before I could get him to talk to me.” His second statement I could tell had a lot of anger behind it.

        “Is he located close to baltimare?”

“Yes he left there just a few minutes ago actually, fair warning he's not super lucid at times. And wounded at the moment. Hey do you want me to mark the location on your Pip-Boy?”

“That would be convenient, anyway bye watcher.” I say as he marks the location down.

        The sprite bot then started moving away down the road while playing big band music.

                        Well time to find this guy.

                                                 ---===*===---

The straight path to the marked location strangely enough took me within a couple miles of baltimare, eh whatever I’ll get there tomorrow.

It was early into the evening and from the decrease in light I could tell that the sun was now lowering down.( From my point of view of course)

As I walked towards the marker, I saw a camp up ahead. The camp seemed to be deserted except for the campfire burning in the center.

My night vision was turned on, I merely waited for the other human to show up. It didn’t look like that would take that long seeing as his marker on my Pip Boy's compass showed his/her’s movement as the marker moved closer every moment I waited.

I had waited for around twenty minutes and was looking down Epilogues scope when I watched some ponies being led by a giant blue pony drag a Bird lion thing over to a hidden cage. The bird thing was thing was then promptly thrown into the cage with it’s legs bound.

If they wanted to cook and eat a griffin why would they put it in a cage prior to the slice n’ dice. Also what kind of fucked up food chain is involved, when a naturally vegetarian creature eats a larger carnivorous one. It only got weirder as the smaller ponies grabbed sticks and then proceeded to poke the Griffon violently. ( It looked like a gryphon from mythology).

I was wondering if I either wanted to intervene on the griffons behalf or, I dunno offer to trade energy cells for the oh so tenderized finished product. When I noticed a large Bipedal figure in black armor moving towards the (tenderizing festival?).

I began to move as swiftly as I could while still maintaining some aspect of stealth. Epilogue was out and ready to give somebody an anonymous death, when the black armored figure was thrown to the floor for no reason. I crouched trying to pick out a target, my compass was little help seeing as all the ponies in that camp were already hostile towards me.

Suddenly the large pony from earlier appeared from out of nowhere to speak with the now standing armored figure. I entered Vat’s just to determine her disposition towards me. Her approximate health was displayed at the bottom of my tunnel vision, and it was of course red. However I had a 67% percent chance of a torso hit from my position. But before I could murder I had to check if the figure was at least neutral towards me. Good for him and terrible for the large pony thing was the fact of his neutral disposition.

Five shot’s to the chest should kill this massive pony right?

My body moved of the targeting programs volition instead of mine for a few moments, landing two shot’s to the ponies center of mass.

        As soon as that happened the black armored figure ran to the wounded pony and cold cocked it in it’s face. He then pulled a rifle from it’s back and fired at the alicorn, somehow hitting me in the chest and left arm with his laser beams. Arrgh...my left arm had a hole in the duster with a crater of cauterized flesh under it.   The hit to my chest didn’t hurt me other than heating up one of my armor plates up slightly. I pulled one of those healing potions out of my dusters inside pockets and dumped some on the burn wound after chugging half of it. This asshole can barely shoot to save his life.

I guess it’s time to go meet this other human;  running as quietly as I could I managed to get behind him as he conversed with the gryphon.

        “You wouldn’t happen to be a surgeon?” the black figure asked the griffon.

It’s my time to shine goddammit, please don’t say yes. Luckily the griffon didn’t affirm it’s medical skill, it merely pointed to me. Don’t fuck this up mouth.

        “Depends on your definition of a surgeon,” I say to the black figure.

“Can you remove bullets and bullet fragments?” my new acquaintance asked.

        “Probably, where did you take this bullet?” perhaps it was tackless but I needed to know where he had been shot. I mean I know if he’s currently carrying a slug as deadweight in his head then I’m not going to be much of a help. ( Nevermind how he’s stayed alive this long with a bullet in his head.)

        “Got shot in the leg and my left arm is roasted.” My fellow human clarified.

        “A leg...a leg I can do,” I guess I can take it out, I mean I have a pair of tweezers.

(they were found in the bottom of one of the backpack pockets.) “But, since you shot me, you should probably patch me up too. Asshole.”

“Hey, before you go all amateur surgeon can you get me outta this cage?” The griffon reminds us of it’s presence.

        “I’ll let you out; almost being eaten has to be pretty traumatic.” I say in sympathy before going to unlock the gryphons cage.

        “What are you talking about?” She says angrily.

“Wheren’t those ponies poking you for the express purpose of tenderization?”

        “No they were torturing her to draw my attention.” The armored human says to me while taking off his armor. That’s a disadvantage of power armor right there, you have to take off most of it just to access the extremities. Other than the head (and the arms in this model of power armor).

        As I was opening the cage with Epilogue, they didn’t notice my intent to shoot the lock off. This was punctuated by the squak the griffon gave off and the o’ shit uttered by the human male.

        “Sorry, I really hate locks and well, locks reciprocate.” I say while putting Epilogue on my back once more. I made a mental note to reload my magazines later tonite.  I had a feeling that these strangers could be effective companions in my travels.

        I moved into the cage knife drawn to remove her restraints, when I completed that task she gave a sigh of relief before asking. “Can you check my wing to see if it’s broken?”

“I guess, although I would prefer it if you both went to an actual doctor.” We both then walked up to the campfire where the human already sat down.

“How about before I go full doctor on you guys, we exchange names and just a little bit of background?” after a few seconds of black looks I decided to begin. “Okay my name is Jake Embry and I’m not from here.”

That prompted the griffon to respond, “I’m Nightflight and I was on a training mission with my family when that alicorn zapped me and had those ash piles take me here.”

“My name is Arthur and i’m not from here either, now can you take the bullet out of my leg now?”

The next few hours would be some of the strangest of my entire life that I had the mixed pleasure of dealing. First off I did my first successful bullet extraction operation, the problem was when I gave him the flask of booze that I had gotten from the research facility he literally became a different person before my eyes and Nightflight’s as well. This led to him hitting on Night flight and after a rejection this new person grabbed more booze from his armor.

After a few minutes of binge drinking he was passed out in one of the tents the cultists had set up. Leaving me alone with the griffon, fuckin yay.

“What kind of training mission were you on, before your capture?  I asked trying to break the silence between us after our dinner. (We both hated vegetarian M.R.E.)

         “Well my parents are talon’s and they want their daughter to continue, Merc work ya know.” She seemed ambivalent towards the talons.

        “I’ve done a little mercenary work, makes you feel a little monstrous even if you were doing “good”. Memories of the burning warehouse filled my mind before she responded.

        “Better than working for red eye,” she says before snorting derisively which sounded weird coming from a griffon.

        “I heard one of his broadcasts, isn’t he really trying to restore civilization.” I wanted to know more about this guy he seemed reasonable.

        “He enslaves thousands of ponies and employs dozens of Talons,” she says quickly then looks into my eyes before continuing. ( I had removed my helmet earlier on as a sign of friendship or something.) “You really don’t know anything about the slaver king of fillydelphia?”

        “I’ve been here for less than two weeks, cut me some slack.” I say wondering if she had a sense of humour.

“Still, thats pretty basic knowledge. How about Steel Rangers ya know what they are?” She came off as pretty patronising.

 “Yeah, killed like twenty of them.” My nonchalant tone combined with the statement itself caused Night Flights jaw to drop.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” She said trying to wrap her head around the idea of that many steel rangers in general.

“To be honest it wasn’t just me. I had two badass robots and a cute ex-ranger helping me.” Damn didn’t mean to say that, why not say that. Because she’s still an alien; So their all aliens gotta empty your balls sometime. Shut up goddammit, I hate that lecherous part of my mind. I hate that stupid devil’s advocate that inhabits my skull but maybe he has a point. If  When I see her again, I guess if she wants to have a relationship I would go for it. If only to keep an open mind.

That cognitive dissonance took a moment to transpire but when I looked back at the griffon she was just looking at me funny.

“Even if you do space out sometimes you seem pretty badass,” She said before shifting from a cocky tone to a more subdued one. “I don’t know what happened to parents during the mission, I mean I was knocked out.”

   “If you want to follow me and maybe find out what happened to your parents, you can just know that my job for the next while is to draw as much attention to myself as I can.” I didn’t want her to know how desperate I was for a reliable source of information. Plus you know friendship n’ shit.

“But you're not gonna pay me?” Apparently her mercenary roots were surfacing again.

“How about I let you keep like twenty percent of the caps we make from loot and stuff, plus a bonus for all the threats you eliminate for me.”

“Thirty percent, and you get me equipment as soon as possible. I really don’t like to be naked.” She shivered when she said that, I got up and moved next to her. From the rapidity of her cuddling she was either really cold or just wanted physical contact.

“So did they take your armor?” I say trying to break the void of silence that had taken hold after my movement.

I didn’t get a response though seeing as she had passed out laying against me. I took a moment to curse the universe that put me in these situations and moved away from her slowly careful not to wake her up. So leave her there or move her to a tent? Choosing the latter option as always I grabbed her and firemen carried her to one of the abandoned tents. As I was moving her to a tent I was thinking about the situation at hand. Okay so I may have a human who’s slightly older than me with multiple personality disorder and a slightly younger than me female gryphon following me soon. I mean I could use the firepower, and as A group we could be obtain a lot more notoriety. How could a pair of heavily armored humans and a gryphon not arouse suspicion.

Setting the griffon onto a cot in the tent, (It was more of a drop) I let out a sigh of relief. She was pretty heavy, Gold feathers on a grey coat were her primary aesthetic characteristics. As opposed to the guy who calls himself either Arthur or Elvis, he was a well built male with light brown hair and very pale skin.  Who was I kidding I myself was pale as a damn ghost, the Spf rating of a duster and saturnite plating must be off the charts. I guess it didn’t help that the sun here is permanently obscured.

As I stood outside the tent I saw a bit of light coming from a little ways away. Putting my helmet back on and turning Night vision on yielded better results. With epilogues scope aimed at the source of the light I was able to make out a raider encampment. Only four raiders were staying in the rusted shack that was their domicile.

I can take care of this without waking up the others? Probably, In a few minutes I was laying on my stomach in some brown grass. I had a slight elevation advantage on the hostiles, two of the raiders were passed out and the other two...well I really didn’t want to use any of their beds.

The camp was maybe half a mile away from my surgery victim , and griffon companion. They would probably still wake up from my gunshots, so I guess to be courteous I would need to be sneaky. I crouched with my bowie clasped in my right hand, the couple that were in the middle of coitus really didn’t seem all that aware of their surroundings. And well the other two quickly acquired some new orifices, and honestly if I didn’t get the other raiders, then those orifices would probably be used. The only problem was, I’m not so heartless to kill a couple in the middle of their last session. So I waited a few minutes out of their sight waiting for the noises to stop and acquiring an awkward erection in the process.

I went back to their recently deceased comrades and looked over their corpses. I got a syringe of Med-X, seventeen five point five six rounds and a broken croquet mallet.

Then I noticed the lack of moaning and instead heard.

“I wonder what our foals gonna look like, hope they get your eyes.” The female raider said to the male in a quiet tone. They were probably cuddling as well, A twinge of jealousy moved through me. These two have intimacy in the middle of this shitty world. All I knew now was that I wasn’t going to kill these two.

“As long as their half as beautiful as you.”  The male cooed out as I quietly left the camp. There are no absolute evil people, just evil actions. And sometimes good people have to do terrible things for the greater good. Morality is a systemic way to guide people towards the lighter shades of grey in life. In the end our own moral compass is the only thing we must live up to or live down.

As I passed out in the one of the tents in the cultists camp, I had one of those introspections that strengthen an individual. Maybe tomorrow those raiders I spared will kill another traveller, or perhaps tomorrow the conditions that create such individuals will cease to exist. I believe in a deterministic universe but trying to determine the future with any real accuracy is something beyond human capability (Or pony or gryphon or anything else).

*        *        *

My dreams were usually unremembered but every once in a while the dream is remembered on the other side. I was tied up in the lobby of the mountain resort, repeatedly flayed by Degenerate flame then burned where the wound was, Cauterizing it and giving her time to finish herself off. Her moans were the only thing audible in this nightmare, the gift of lucidity in a dream is something I lack. Dreams lack transitions or the transitions are so meaningless that they are forgotten when you awaken. Glimpses of my hometown alight people I know dressed in raider armor. The thin veneer of civilization stripped away and replaced by wholesale hedonism, untempered by the bonds of morality. Overviews are bad but feeling as some version of yourself kills everything around himself. Self defense is defensible but what is the wholesale pre emptive slaughter of people beyond saving. The last thing memorable in my dream was the setting of the city ablaze...by my hand.

*        *        *

        “He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

The quote resonated in my mind for quite a few minutes, monster to fight monsters was that my fate. Helping to create a world that has no place for you in it, except in not staying here.

Even if I do make it back in the next day by some miracle...how would I be received by the people I care about. More questions with no way to answer; the curse of inquiry minded. Dead Ends of knowledge my favorite. After a moment more idle thinking I at least remembered the author of the quote. — Friedrich Nietzsche

        After getting out of bed I took the time to reload all of my magazines; one magazine with the starmetal rounds, another for the match load, three filled with regular five point five six and last but not least a magazine of Armor Piercing.

Loading a magazine of standard rounds into Epilogue, an unconscious sigh of relief left my lips. The potion’s when combined with a good’s night rest make small wounds heal a hell of a lot faster. Upon hearing the sound of feet on dirt I got off of the bed and walked out of the tent. Apparently Nightflight had killed an animal and preparing it for some roasting. The thing that caught my eye was that she was gutting it with her talons.

“That’s not hygienic, here use this.” She turns to face me and see’s me tossing my bowie knife near her.

“Uh..thanks for the knife.” She says not used to other people helping her prepare food.

“I still want it back, and thanks for cooking breakfast.” I was really excited to have someone who is literally half bird of prey, and rises early. Damn she’s a keeper, Power armored but can’t shoot for shit i’m not so sure about. I guess he has to be skilled in some way, you probably don’t survive in this place long if you’re a useless piece of shit. Unless you’re just really lucky… but thats kinda a skill in it’s own right.

“Wait, you eat meat?”

“Remember last night didn’t you see the sharp teeth near the front of my mouth?” I say slipping into my mostly unused didactic tone. Well not used recently, this place isn’t really for ‘knowledge for knowledge’s sake’ types.

        “Yeah I guess so you have eat eater’s teeth, well I do too.” Satisfaction with the species she was born as I think made her more smug than usual.

“Yes in front, but the ones in back are chewing teeth. Now what this means is we’re adaptable. There’s only one species with technology on my world.” So this may devolve into a who’s species is superior argument. Eh...if it comes to that I guess I’ll just have to win.

        “So you eat plants like a pony, figures you couldn’t kill anything with those things.”

 (she points to my left hand)

“Exactly, my species is really good at killing things but we’re not born with the equipment to do it. ( I pat Epilogue slung over my shoulder) No we have to build things to kill stuff, everything from a wooden spear to an atomic weapon.”  Maybe i’m laying it on a little thick? Only after seeing( and fighting) beings without hands can you appreciate the utility of the things.

“You can’t fly nuff’ said.” She says while turning her back to me.

“Nightflight love ya to death, but we’ve actually flown to the moon.” I said and then did my own turning around.

Should probably check up on arthur or is it elvis? Guess I’ll find out soon enough.

As I entered the tent I caught sight of him. He was passed out on the cot with his back facing straight up. So he sleeps on his stomach; little weird I guess.

        “Hey arthur wake up,” I said while prodding him with my left foot.

“What do you want?” he says with annoyance, not a morning person eh?

        “Well I kinda got a package to deliver in Baltimare. Do you wanna come with me and the bird thing?”

        “You know those were the ones who shot me right?” Snark seemed to a characteristic both humans on this world shared.

        “Actually you never told me that, are they a bunch of xenophobes?”

“They all hid when I walked into town, and when this old blind trader pony got scared they all grabbed their guns and chased me away.” He seemed ashamed of the entire ordeal.

“If there’s three of us we should be fine, although having some more healing items would be nice. Though they would be stupid to start something. How well armed are they?”

“They have some ponies with Armor Piercing ammunition, and one asshole with enchanted ammunition.” He snorted derisively after saying his piece.

“Okay so unless you have a place that would be productive to go to first I suggest we eat whatever Nightflight caught.”

“Actually watcher gave me a location to a cache of medical supplies, maybe some supplies for chem manufacture.” He must have assumed I was a junkie or something, seriously why do people think I like chems so much. I don’t know what’s worse Icepicks blunt ‘what the fuck is that’ reaction to me injecting a stimpack; or his trying to entice me using the promise of more chems.

“To be honest the mailman in me wants to get the delivery done as soon as possible. But the mad scientist in me wants to acquire more supplies first and he’s a lot more fun than the mailman.” Maybe the radio pony will start calling me mengele or something…that would be entertaining at the very least.

“So that’s a yes?” He seemed happy to be around another human albeit one he doesn’t know at all.

“Close enough to one I gather, let’s go see if foods done.” I said while gesturing to him to get up.

After eating a meal of unidentified meat, the three of us talked about the supply cache. Nightflight was up for it as long as we got her some weapons and armor in Baltimare.

Fastforward a few hours and we were walking as a group with Nightflight occasionally flying circles above us partly for reconnaissance and partly to keep her wings warmed up.

“So Jake how did you arrive here?” Arthur asked while we were walking through the dead plains that surrounded balitimare.

“Funny story, an asshole who actually lacks an asshole because he’s a brain in a jar, pulled me to his alternate plane of existence for science. Either that or to find someone who could fulfill his need for human interaction. One thing led to another and I arrived in this world on a bubble of hyperspace. All in all this past while has been the most invigorating part of my life, invigorating with the side effect of horrifying choices and getting hurt repeatedly.” This is my favorite way to describe the circumstances of my existence here thus far.

“Okay so you teleported here?” Very interested would describe his tone of voice even when It came out of his helmet speakers.

“No not technically, a pocket universe was formed with me inside. Then the universe was sent to this one and popped depositing me in a steel ranger base undergoing battle.”

“You seem pissed about being sent here?” He said with concern, dammit it’s flattering really but getting attached to me is just gonna make our lives harder. Or maybe i’m just protecting myself from growing my own attachment.

“Yes...I mean I had a nice enough life back in my home universe. Damn that sounds weird to say. Really my primary goal here is getting home and failing that I really don’t know.” His poignant question brought things into focus. “How the fuck am I getting home?” Yelling out this made me feel more in control emotionally but maybe less stable in Arthur's eyes.

“I didn’t know you needed to let out that. Anyway If you do find this way back to your world I’m going with you.” He said the last part more as a proclamation of his intentions to himself, which would be more strange he wasn’t a being with a split personality.

A Catbird thing dropped down beside us, signalling for a group huddle. Is the use of group huddle a sacred griffin tactic, If so I just don’t don’t know how to counter it.

The chuckle I let out wasn’t appreciated by Nightflight, but whatever she’s being paid to put up with my bullshit.

“Okay the supply cache is currently surrounded by a group of raiders, and their packing some low caliber weapons. The camp itself is around a prewar hospital ”

“So pool cues and thirty twos, Arthur just keep moving I don’t think they have anything that can hurt you.” I say and he gave a weary nod, I then turned to nightflight.

“I have a laser pistol with a few spark cells for it so take that and strafe them while firing. Hits aren’t necessary but would be appreciated, meanwhile I’ll back behind whatever cover I can find picking them off.” They both just nodded.

        However a raider with a rocket launcher was aiming at our group by the time we got to within visual range. A loud whooshing noise accompanied the rocket that landed ten feet from Arthur and fifteen feet from me. Knocking arthur to the ground was only the first steps to the raider plans.

As I picked myself off the ground I surprised to see a raider wearing a piece of headgear approach with a dozen fighters well armed. Well Nightflight as a useful source of intel is kinda gone. I was aiming Epilogue at the leader and company as they surrounded Arthurs crumpled form. I hope that he’s just unconscious.

“Did you kill some ponies at the shed last night?” The head raider asked; she was an average sized unicorn mare except currently holding a rebar club in her magical grip.

“Uh...Yes?” I say

  “So you admit to killing our fellow tribe members?” She said while I was thinking ‘these aren’t even raiders, they seem civilized. Oh shit.’

        “Well I assumed they were raiders and that had lost their right to life, and now I think I was wrong.” Candidness had yet to fail me in these situations.

        “Prepare to die in one on one combat?” She said while another tribe member pulled Epilogue away from me quickly with their telekinesis. With gun now out of my hands due to my lack of grip on it I pulled out Bowie the knife. Matriarch of the tribe then rushed me while holding the rebar club high in her magic. Backing up while wishing I had a handgun I decided to charge once she got into striking distance. As I rushed forward at her she didn’t stop she made the club go above my head and…

Pain all was pain. I landed atop her barely able to move. She had hit me with enough force to send me flying forward into her. My right arm appeared to be fine and with a large amount of cursing I had positioned Bowie next to her neck.

“Can you please make an exception to the whole ‘to the death thing’” I said before being thrown off of her and onto my abused back.

A kick to her face made her back up enough for me to pick up the club she must have dropped. The thing weighed at least thirty pounds and recovering from a swing with this thing is unlikely. Keeping it low to the ground I was going to drop it on her from as high as I could hold it. Bowie’s betrayal stopped that from happening; the glowing of magic covered the handle of the blade as it thrust into my leg. Her turning the blade once it was inserted didn’t help either.

Apparently being royally pissed makes a person stronger than normal, a swing near her head was enough for her to back off. I remembered I had a syringe of morphine in my pockets, I fished that out while she was feigning retreat. A feeling of glorious numbness flowed through my body after I injected. Pulling the knife out and wiping it on my already blood covered leg, I sheathed it while checking to see if I was moving with a sliced femoral artery. Quickly judging that I wasn’t going to bleed out anytime soon, I was rudely interrupted by a spear hitting my chest and bouncing off. Fucking bystanders had given her their weapons.

Time to end this. Breaking into a jog while holding the club high I ran after the leader.

The glow of magic covered the club as she tried to pull it towards her. Thinking quickly I stopped about three arm spans away from her and suddenly threw the club in her general direction. Her pulling force aimed the weapon at her with more speed than I could generate.

I watched as the exposed rebar handle of the weapon strike her in the forehead. She toppled like a kindergarteners block tower. Her breathing seemed to indicate her continued aliveness*.

“So she forfeits...silence is concession?” The spectators didn’t seem to argue and I really needed to dress my wound and find out how many broken ribs I have. Oh god morphine is great. Also Im pretty sure my back would have been broken if it wasn’t made out of...metal or something. Do I really not know what my new spine is made of? Yeah no idea, why does a toaster have an owners manual but not a fuckin cybernetic spine. I had walked near the asshole that had taken Epilogue from me.

“MINE,” I said as I grabbed it from the shell shocked pony. Now that I looked around they all were standing around. Wow they took the defeat of the uber bitch pretty hard, suckers.

        I walked into the hospital laughing at the ponies reverence. A table was just standing there so I sat on it and shot a hit of stimpack into me, a small voice in my head was telling me to be conservative with those. I continued walking through the place and after a few minutes of stumbling through corridors I found gryphon. Nightflight was bound and gagged on a table. I decided to give Bowie a chance to to redeem himself. A moment later there was unbound gryphon which is somewhat better than bound griffin.

   “They had a net launcher,” she said dejectedly.

“Better than arthur, it took a rocket to knock him out of the fight. Least they were kinda original with you.” I said while shrugging.

“Is he dead?” Worry on a gryphon looks weird.

“It would be inconvenient if he was-,” before I could trail off she punched me in the face.

“Are you high right now?” Wow knock one bitch out and another appears.

“What’s it to you”

“What are you on?” Less pissy now, looks concerned now.

        “Med-X”

“Figures, you okay to shoot?” She says while heading to the door, following behind her I respond.

        “I’m like 90% sure I can, really.”

“Can you show me where he’s at” She looks pissy at me again.

        “How can you not see a black suit of power armor against brown grass?” Snark even when the brain is impaired still flows from me.

        “Fucking done, how…(grumbles) are you bullshitting me,” She seems mad at me.

 “So did like a lion get a hardon for an eagle or something?” Her answer was another punch to my helmeted head.

                                                ---===*===---

Standing beside arthurs unconscious body we wondered how to get him conscious again. He wasn’t dead cause the blinky thing in my vision was still there for him.

“So wat do?” I said to the griffin.

“I dunno, wait ain’t you the pretend doctor?”

“Yes and never tell me not to doctor, if you know what's good for you.” She just face taloned. “Idea... give me a second. Stay here I got this shit.”

The rest of the tribal ponies were now back to their duties it seemed, sans trying to assault us. I found a pony with a pool cue, took said pool cue and walked back to arthurs incapacitated body. Poke.Poke.Poke.

“Is this seriously your best plan?” She said after my third prodding of his body.

“Damn, you’re right. I’ve been going about this all wrong.” I thusly flipped the pool cue around and struck his helmet with the handle.

“Fucking ghouls I’ll end you.” He awoke with a start. Nightflight looked nonplussed after I removed my armor for the express purpose of grinning at her and saying “Proof I’m best doctor.”

Arthur  no Elvis just shrugged his shoulders and muttered something derogatory about ghouls.  With Nightflight stewing and Elvis not quite cognizant yet I took the opportunity to stuff Sugar bombs down my throat along with a bottle of water. I think the Med-X is wearing off. My back hurts like all hell and my leg though mostly mended felt not quite right.

With my new doctor stick I was ready to resuscitate the tribal queen.

“I have no reason to disbelieve the power of this stick,” Cause why not. The bystanders were actually reacting to our presence this time, however they seemed disheartened. The presence of Elvis and Nightflight helped just a wee bit. Having companions is nice, maybe someday they'll bail my ass out instead of the other way around.

        At Least they look competent.

Poke Poke Poke by the third poke to the ass she was awake. She took one look at me and said.

        “You…” and promptly passed out again.

“Well Elvis my wonderful acquaintance do you have any C-4 because if not,  were not getting the supply room.” My walking around the hospital had yielded some useful information namely the location of the supply room. “I mean the door it’s solid steel, hinges and all.”

“If it has a place to put a key in I can pick it.” Elvis stated resolutely and I don’t think he’s conceited.

“Kay follow the leader,” I kinda wonder how I ended up leader of this new team.

Arthur I guess just wants another human to be around him and Nightflight seems to want a less structured lifestyle. Maybe following who seems to know what he’s doing is enough for them. Funny thing is, the only thing thats keeping me focused now is the mortal peril this place is built upon and the object bound to my forearm.

Thinking while walking is a lot safer when you have vigilant companions around.

                                ---===*===---

Nightflight and I stood in front of a solid door while elvis had pulled out a screwdriver and bobby pin. A minute later the door slid open and all of us stepped inside. On the inside was the equivalent of a normal pharmacy except half of the medicines on the shelves were slightly glowing. And not for the first time I let out a sigh at the fact that magic is the most logical explanation. Me and Elvis went around grabbing the most useful items there. “Healing potions, antibiotics, bandages, painkillers, ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION MEDICATION.”

“Better pick up some of that for when ya see that ranger mare again!” I heard Nightflight yell to me after hearing me yell out about the boner potions.

“You don’t even know her name,” I yell back.

“I don’t need to, when you not wearing that helmet, you easy to read.” She responds with haste.

“Score, got the rubbing alcohol,” Elvis said a couple aisles away from me.

“Please don’t drink the isopropyl alcohol I can use it to clean my scalpels and stuff.” I say hurriedly, I’m the group medic apparently so I gotta keep my equipment sterile.

“Man you shouldn’t worry if I wanted a drink, I got one right here in my armor.” He hopped from behind the end of my aisle just to point to spot on his armor above his left shoulder.

 “Okay did you grab all the supplies?” I ask and he nods quickly, he had grabbed a messengers bag with a pink cross emblazoned upon it.

“Nice bag,” I said without any sarcasm. He actually needed something to carry stuff in. Wait with him being able to carry things I can give him all the stuff I want to steal but couldn’t. So now I can loot way more effectively.

“You really think so,” he seemed slightly self conscious.

“I don’t think so, I know so.” I pat him on the shoulder patronisingly, as a friend should.

        “Maybe we should leave before they figure out were takin their stuff?” Nightflight called out from the doorway.

        “Good idea, I guess it’s time to go back to the camp.” I say while gesturing Elvis to follow.

        “There’s time to go to Baltimare, you need to deliver that package.”

We were walking out of the hospital as we talked.

        “Didn’t they shoot you up last time you were there?” I say wondering what he was thinking, aren’t people supposed to avoid mortal peril.

        “When was this, I haven’t been there for years?” He says unknowingly, does he repress when arthur does anything or only when arthur get’s injured.

        “Yeah you’re right silly me why don’t we go into town. Maybe we’ll find a hotel or something there.” Lying through both my teeth and my desire to inform him of his other half sucks. But it has to be done, if I had a full psychiatric facility ready to treat him I might try to inform him of his other halfs existence. The human known as either Elvis or Arthur must be somewhat stable given that it has survived this long.

“Do you not remember why we came to get the supplies in the first place?” Nightflight said while I silently simmered, she really shouldn’t try to push him.

“Because chems are good to have around,” Elvis says while picking up the pace, the weight of the messenger bag and his rifle not slowing the power armored human down very much.

“Okay balitmare here we come?” I let out under my breath.

---===*===---

The outskirts of balitmare seemed to be unravaged by the scourge of Balefire, signs of habitation spread out before us in the waning light of dusk.

“So do we just walk in and hope they let us go about our business?” I ask to my comrades.

“Well all I want is a stiff drink and a warm bed, if they try to to stop me thats on them.” Elvis said with vehemence.

“How about you two go in there first seein’ as all I have to kill with is my talons. That laser pistol I can’t use, mouth grips are hard to use when you have claws.” She says while putting her front appendages in the air for emphasis.

“I personally just want to buy some spare parts for my stuff and see about getting a map of the deserts to the west of here. So Nightflight in the case that everything is peaceful either me or Elvis will come out here to lead you in.” I say while the ambient light decreases around us.

“And if things start exploding in town?” Nightflight asks skeptically.

“Then make more explosions,” I answer while giving her a couple of my frag grenades. “But try not to die, I did promise to help you and I intend on getting that done.”

        “Don’t worry, a merc has to live to enjoy their pay.” She says with a cocky grin on her face. Okay it looked cocky, interpreting griffin facial expression isn’t easy.

          “Are we gonna get there anytime soon?” Elvis said while gesturing at his Pip-Boy.

“Define soon?”

        It was a small surprise when Elvis grabbed my arm and pulled me the first few feet towards the town interest. Quite soon I was walking of my own volition. It didn’t make him any less of an impatient ass.

        The settlement seemed to built in the ruins of a residential housing block with some of a nearby commercial district included within the inhabited section. The place’s walls were stacked refuse like usual in the wastes, however the walls had a few low sections. The lack of sentries on towers seem like a large oversight but whatever i’m not defending this place i’m just trying to enter safely.

        We had walked around the place and had found a part of the wall that was only eight feet tall or so…

        “Hey get down so you can boost me up,” I said to Elvis before he asked the obvious question.

        “How am I supposed to get over the wall, I doubt you can pull me up after you.”

“Damn that usually works. Wait it’s just stacked garbage so why don’t we just pull enough of the wall down to let us through?” I say

“And I do all the heavy lifting ?”

“You are wearing the powered armor,”  That being said we began the process of making the vertical pile of shit into a more horizontal pile of shit. After a few minutes of digging and panting (on my part) we had an entrance. Thusly we used said entrance, at first observing little activity. All signs pointed towards us putting a hole in the wall that lead to the most unpopulated part of the town. We made our way around town without being noticed by anyone, it was barely eight O'clock and everyone was either asleep or somewhere else in town?

Elvis pointed out the market district to me as we passed by it, sadly all of the merchandise was removed before they closed up shop. “Damn,” I said as we checked the last stall for things to steal...appropriate, before starting to walk towards the front gate. I swear I heard a few sniffles from Elvis after we discovered the pronounced lack of loot. A fellow thief of convenience, I could have kissed him after learning that. Gay thoughts aside, I need to find out how he got here. Any information could be a clue I need to get myself home, perhaps with Elvis along for the ride. Wait does he know that my world is radically divergent from the one he was born in ? Well no he probably doesn’t considering I still haven’t told him the full version of how I got here, nevermind the place I came from before waking up in the oceanic facility. What would my friends think of me now? I wonder how much the tech I have in my body would be worth to industries back home.

We had the good fortune to figure out where most of the inhabitants of the place had gone. The place was a damn dance club, well it probably is considering the music that flowed from the place to the streets. Less fortunately was the fact that the bouncer saw us, and ran inside.

“Wanna find cover before we have to fight in the imminent gun battle?”  I ask to my silent companion.

“Nah, let’s stand our ground it makes a stronger statement to the other side in a confrontation.” He answers readily, with a tone indicating he’s been in these situations more than a few times.

“Says the guy in eighty pounds of armor, whatever I guess my plan is predicated upon us fighting.” Whereas I actually want to avoid conflict whenever possible. If only to sleep with some ease.

“Hey do you want a grenade cause I don’t need all of mine?” The strange part of the question wasn’t the content, it was that my voice stayed very casual. Was the possibility of violent conflict becoming mundane to me?

“Gimme,” was the response that Elvis gave me, needless to say I complied.

  The clubbing ponies rushed outside weapons drawn, to see us aiming our weapons right back at them. The oldest looking pony there was the first to speak.

        “So now there are two mutated minotaurs here, damn should have got the big one the first time.”

        “Did my companion do anything hostile the last time he was here, or did you shot at him first.” I say in my underpowered mediating voice.

        “He stabbed me, the fucker needs to die.” A stallion in the crowd yelled out he was brandishing a large repeating rifle.

“I don’t remember any of this,” Elvis yelled back at the crowd of around a dozen armed ponies.

“That old stallion had a heart attack as you ran away.” A mare in the crowd said, before another yelled “You killed Silver Cup,”.

“How is that his fault? That wasn’t even him it was a different personality entirely.” Elvis’s mental state be damned, this was a get out of jail free card that was way too convenient to go unused.

“So he’s plumb crazy?” The older stallion asks while looking amused.

“No, he just has two independent personalities taking turns in dealing with the outside world.” I answer in a scholarly tone, if they don’t respect a man of science then who will they respect? ‘Probably the warm barrel of Epilogue’ a derisive thought echoed in my mind.

        “And just who are you?” The older stallion asked, he must be the owner of the club or something, he does seem respected by the others.

        “The Regulator, and I hope you aren’t contemplating an ad hominem attack. Please just get over the fact that I’m not from around here.” Perhaps not from around here is a massive understatement but whatever.

        “Whats your interest here?” The inquisitive stallion asks a question directed at me yet again, I guess it’s better than having a fire fight.

“Clearing his name, after that I guess I want some spare parts for my equipment along with a hot meal.”

“How about we let you go about your business and we take him in for questioning.” He said questioning in a tone that felt a little nefarious.

“No, he stays with me. Please let’s be peaceful here, I got caps to spend, plus you really don’t want to be my enemy.”  As I said that I saw a dark shape fly onto the roof of the building we were all standing in front of. The shape waved a talon at me, okay so now Nightflight is on the roof. Happy she decided to show up, but she needs to stick to the plan.

“You might be right stranger, go about your business. But if you make any trouble we’ll make sure your heads on a pike by the end of the day.” Stallion numbah one said. Yeah they could try to put my head on a stake, try being the operative term.

“So the pact of non aggression is a go?” I ask my final and quite important question.

“Just leave I’m tired of lookin at you.” He said before turning around and walking back into the club.

        Shortly after Elvis and I began to walk in the direction of the places Inn, as we walked Nightflight dropped out of the air and landed near us.

        “Hey,” Nightflight said happily.

“Why didn’t you wait?” I say sternly.

        “I know you would have been too busy to find me, besides after an hour of no gunfire I figured you two were fine.”

        “She’s right I you couldn’t make me go get her,” Elvis interjected.

“Not Helping ( I glared at Elvis before turning to Nightflight), okay you’re right Nightflight I just don’t want my merc getting hurt.”

“Will you put me in more dangerous situations when I have armor on?” Nightflight asks, wait does she just want more excitement.

“You bet your ass I will,” I say with vigor.

“Hey as much as I like hearing you two flirt or whatever, but I want to sleep. So can you just give me some caps to get us some rooms at the Inn?” He asks and I answer by pulling out a five hundred cap bag and throwing it at his head. The clink of steel wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be.

He just picked it up off the ground and walked off, I could hear chuckling through his helmet.

“So wanna see if the Gun store if the gun store is open?” I ask Nightflight.

“But I wanna go do something fun,” So hearing a Bird lion hybrid whine like a teenage girl is strange to say the least. Then I remembered she is sixteen so it makes sense...kinda.

        “Fine what is it that you want to do?”

“You remember that club?”

“Really you want to go clubbing?” She nods excited.

“Yes, come on it’ll be fun.”

“No,”

“If the gun stores not open then will you go with me?”

  “I guess, let’s go find the store.” The owner better be a night owl.

---===*===--

“You win, just go easy on me.” I say to nightflight as we stand outside of the club called ‘The rodeo’, it’s not fair, they roll up the sidewalks at six here.

“It’s not that bad, been to a couple before.” Says the sixteen year old. I guess I forgot that this is a society where nobody would bat an eye at a ten year old injecting heroin.

“Whatever, i’ll be wherever someone can sit down.”

She shrugged and we went inside. The interior looked like it had been redone(shittily), the DJ was up playing club music loudly, overall I found the bar to be the most interesting thing there which is saying something. As I walked over to the bar Nightflight did the gryphon equivalent of a frown.

The barkeep was the same pony that had been the de facto leader of the crowd earlier. He was surprised to see me and slightly more surprised when I removed my helmet.

“I didn’t take you for the drinking type?” He states bluntly.

“I’m not, I wouldn’t even be here if she didn’t want to come here.”

“The griffin?” I nod

“Weird couple, whatever you are and a griffin,” He says then shrugs.

“We’re not a couple, honestly we’re somewhere between friends and business partners.”

“Speaking of business partners, what kind of jobs do you do?”

“Everything except drain cleaning and sexual favors, although those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.” I let out wondering if the stallion had a sense of humour, I was rewarded with a hearty laugh that wouldn’t have been socially acceptable had it not taken place in a loud club.

“Can I get a name, first time I’ve met an alien?”

“Jake, reciprocation would be nice along with a drink.”

“Blurred Lines,so what do you want.”

“Surprise me,”

        “I’ll give you a discount if you tell me how you got here,” he asks as he poured me a drink.

        “Want a novel story do ya,” I say as he slides the drink to me.

“Been awhile since I’ve heard one that’s unique. Hell I wish I could have some new music, had the same stuff since before I was born.”

“It’s your lucky day, I can satisfy both of those urges.” Damn being consistent with your previous statements is nice sometimes.

“What,”

“Blurred Lines I have a Pip-Boy loaded with hundreds of songs, just give me a terminal to hook into and Bam new songs.” I stopped before I let out the nigh obligatory fuck yeah.

“Well I guess tomorrow you got a job to do, and until then I’ll keep em’ comin.” After that I guess I got increasingly hammered as I told him my tale. Halfway through a unicorn mare sat down in the stool beside mine. The last thing I remembered was thinking that the mare looked pretty cute.

End of Chapter Eight

Footnote

*Aliveness- The state of being alive.

EX:        John’s aliveness after falling eighteen stories Is quite impressive.

Synonyms: Undeath

Level Up

Perk(s) Added: Lady Killer-+10% damage to the opposite sex and unique dialogue options with certain characters.

Quest Perk- Medicinal Macgyver- You know how alcohol can affect brain functions ( Or you will soon) and now can use it to sterilize instruments in a doctors bag.

Companion Perk(s)

Born Killer- When outside in a normal patch of wasteland you gain a +2 Perception bonus, along with an advantage when Speaking with Talons.

Strangers In A Strange Land- Homo sapiens have to stick together right, you both gain +5 to nerve regardless of charisma. The need to improve weapons and armor is a problem both of you share, consequently when together you both gain eachothers skills for crafting items.

Elvis/Arthur- Perk added

Divided we stand-

Elvis traits added- Built to destroy: 3% critical rate with 15% faster equipment degradation.

Loose Cannon- Attack speed with thrown weapons increased by 30%. Thrown weapons have 25% less range.

Arthur trait added- Good Natured:

Increases Speech, Medicine, Repair,Science and Barter skills +5. Decreases Energy Weapons, Explosives,Guns, Melee Weapons and Unarmed skills -5.