Fallout Equestria - Long Way Home

Chapter Five Part Two: Armor Piercing

“I hope you know that whatever aesthetic appeal your posterior might have is nullified by that tin can you’re wearing.” I say in monotone while I was examining my leg wound. “And the same leg too” I yelled exasperatedly.

“Are you bleeding out” She says in a worried tone.

“Not that I can tell”.

“Then quit whining about it” She says angrily.

By the time that exchange was over I had a stimpack in my hands and it was aching to be used. Injecting it into myself I felt the pain around the wound begin to ease.

“What did you just inject yourself with ?” She asks.

“Stimpack” I said as I grabbed Epilogue up from where it had fallen on the floor.

    “Is that some weird drug you’re addicted too?”

“No,it just helps me heal wounds quickly.” The explanation being uttered quickly.

“So Like an injectible healing potion.” She says.

Rifle in hand, I look down at her (The top of her head comes to the height of my lowermost ribs). “Healing potion?” I ask with disbelief creeping into my voice.

“Do you not know what a healing potion is?” She asks in a tone that would be used to question a child.

Not liking the tone of her voice one bit I Yelled “ Haven’t we already established that I wasn’t even born in this world!” Before she could reply I spoke again. “ New idea maybe we shouldn’t be having this exchange in a place where we can hear loud booms every few seconds.” My voice had lost  it’s anger by the end of that statement.

My comments must have rebuffed her, because it was a moment before she said

“Guess I’ll just lead the way.”

“Good idea.” I replied, my voice filled with sarcasm.

We Ventured down the halls with the remaining sentry bot lagging behind us as always. After a minute or two of walking, Icepick stopped us at a bend in the hallway. Around us the sounds of combat had increased in volume, prompting me to say.

“Are we at the place yet.”

  “No, but we’re close so from here on out stay quiet and if you spot somepony in armor don’t hesitate to fire.” To this I merely nodded.

Trying to be at least as stealthy as the power armoured pony, was harder to do than you think. As she came to the end of our current hallway, she poked her head around the corner then quickly pulled back behind the wall. She whispered

“Eight hostiles clustered around the entrance to the repair bay.”

I Whispered back “Should we have the sentry bot go ahead of us?”

“Unless you have a dream of being perforated by enough ammo to kill a hellhound? That’s probably a good idea”

“Was the sarcasm really necessary?” I ask in hurt tone.

I then ordered the sentry bot to roll into the hallway and fire all the rockets left in it’s stores.  As It rolled forward to execute what was probably it’s last command, I laid my last frag mine on the ground in front of of us.

The sound of rockets being fired and the resulting explosions shook the hallway. It didn’t bother me though, as I was much more worried about sprinting the fastest I could back down the hallway I had previously walked through. Icepick had heard what I had ordered the robot to do and was already a great deal further down the hall than I was.

Getting to the end of the hall just as I heard the first steel ranger that came around the corner detonate the mine that I had placed there.

Turning the corner without an ounce of grace. I found myself face to face with Icepick, moving out of her way quickly as she brushed past me. I watched as she moved into the hallway firing at what were probably adversaries. I was in the process of  moving to be alongside her in the hallway, When she backed up into me unexpectedly  .

“Oh sweet celestia that was Steel Quarry, run” She yells with fear in her voice.

     “You go if you need to, although I would rather you back me up.” I say with resolve. As I say this, I  pull  out a plasma grenade from one of my pockets. I then slide around the corner, entering vats after I could see down the hall. The sight that greeted me in the warped perception of vats wasn’t a pleasant one . A massive steel ranger easily as tall my chin was moving slowly towards me, He (I assumed it was a he) had missile launchers on either side of his torso. In the simplified thinking that vats makes you think in, I decided to lob a grenade in front of him hoping that it would kill the gargantuan pony.

The funny feeling of having returned to a normal perception of time, coupled with having your body controlled by a force other than you always made leaving vats a weird experience no matter how many times you did it. though in this instance I watched as the grenade I threw  bounce right in front of the startled Steel Quarry. The resulting explosion threw him back several feet and left his armour blackened. Then he started to get back to his hooves, leading me to frantically back up into the hallway I had just entered from.

His attempt at getting back up was stopped when I heard a loud gunshot from behind me. When my eyes sighted the shooter I was surprised to see Icepick there with her anti-machine rifle smoking. “Follow but stay a few hooves behind me” She says simply.

During  the walk through the hallway that we had fought Steel Quarry in, I saw his limp burned remains. Thinking about the fact that I had killed a sapient creature, actually a lot of sapient creatures. It left me wondering what I was becoming, as I continued to walk behind my acquaintance in something like silence. (With the majority of the steel rangers eliminated, the background fire had become only a few staccato bursts of gunfire every once in a while.)

My Acquaintance, what a strange term to describe this alien I was following, it was the best term I could think of.  I kept thinking of the implications of what I had already done for her, I Had already gone to the trouble of saving her (inadvertently). I wonder what her comrades would do to me? Hopefully nothing negative, for their well beings  .

My Ruminations were interrupted by the sound of another power armoured pony. Ice pick was already aiming at it,  I was getting my weapon to bear on the new arrival as well.

“Icepick you made it, everypony thought you were a dead mare going to check that alarm about the megaspell chamber.” Said the new arrival in a voice that sounded high pitched and happy. She continued with very little delay “ Were you the one that caused that distraction?” The as of yet unnamed pony inquired.

“Yeah I helped, but most of the credit goes to him Ironsight”. She stated with a little bit of shame in her voice. After saying this she turned around and pointed a front hoof at me. The pony Ironsight didn’t let out a sound as she finally noticed my presence. I had during the exchange between Icepick and Ironsight put Epilogue down and began a slow wave with my hand while looking at Ironsight.

Ironsight proceeded to spin up her miniguns in my direction. “NO DON’T HE’S FRIENDLY” Icepick screamed at Ironsight. The recipient of the yelling stopped reving her miniguns. “What she said” I Said loudly. Crossing my arms and glaring at the owner of the dual miniguns. Our words must have mollified her because she went from aggressively aiming machines of destruction at me to aggressively asking questions.

“What the buck is he?” Ironsight asked.

“A human being with feelings” I said loudly before turning around to walk back in the direction I had came from.

“Doesn’t matter what he looks like, he acts like a pony trying too hard to be funny!” Icepick says to Ironsight.

“Trying to be funny? I was hilarious !” I say as I jog up to them.

“Are all 'humans' as conceited as him?” Ironsight asks.

“Who’s concieted, Probably the being with the name ironsight who doesn’t have sights on their guns.” I say in a defensive tone.

“Don’t start with him, It’s not worth it” Icepick says with disdain as she begins to walk forward. “Hey why don’t I tell the rest of the rangers about your continued existence and his, well existence” Ironsight says.

    “Good idea” Icepick says to her.

“The newfound knowledge of my existence you mean?” I Inquire.

“Just go, I’ll deal bring him to meet with Elder Steamgear. Wait is elder Steamgear still around?” Icepick says the first statement with mirth, the following question with concern.

“Yes, thankfully he was with us when those led by Steel Quarry attacked.” Ironsight answers. “Anyway gotta go and tell everypony about you and ?”

“My name is Jake” I say with a little force.

“Noted” Ironsight squeaks before running off down the hall.

I follow Icepick as she begins to move in the same direction Ironsight just left from.

“What is the difference between your group and the ponies we were fighting?” I ask in a serious tone.

What followed was an earful about the ideological differences between the newly formed applejacks rangers and the old steel rangers. To summarize her lecture, the applejack’s rangers were interested in acquiring technology to help the wasteland instead of just hoarding it like the steel ranger philosophy was. In the case of her group of rangers was lead by an elder sympathetic to the ideals laid down by applejack.

When news of Steelhooves creation of the manehattan company of applejacks rangers came to the isolated contingent. The elder wanted to change the codex of our contingent making them applejacks rangers. This apparently didn’t go down well with Paladin Steel Quarry seeing as he quickly mounted a surprise counter revolution.

“Before you continue can you explain this great war you mentioned a few times?” I ask.  She was about to say something scathing when we entered the repair bay. Everypony in the room who had been saying or doing something stopped and stared at me.

“Don’t you have better things to do than stare at the guy who saved your collective asses” I said in angrily. This had the effect of bringing the ponies out of their mental torpor.

I had no time to feel smug, as Icepick started to push me towards a door guarded by a pair of paladins.  They opened the door so that Icepick could slide me into the room.

On the other side of a pony sized desk was a dignified unicorn wearing robes.

Although in all honesty my thoughts were more focused on the color of the pony he was dark purple with a midnight blue mane. The realization that the things that were killing each other with advanced weapons were diminutive candy colored equines. This led me to make the tactful move to burst out laughing.

“Wow without the armour on you guys are ridiculously cute.” I said while trying to lower the volume of my laughing.

The elder responded by glaring at Icepick and saying. “This is the creature that helped you?”

“Well in my defense he is a good shot with that rifle, when he’s not exercising his tactless sense of humor.” She said this while aiming a withering gaze upon me. She was followed quickly by Steam Gear.

“Well excuse me for using humor to break the ice” I reply in a mock offended tone.

“Jake knock your shit off.” Icepick hisses to me while kicking me in the shin.

“Jake is your name correct?” Steam Gear asks me.

“Jake Embry,lost soul.” I say in a somber tone.

“How did you get in the deepest part of this facility?” He asks with anger bleeding into his voice.

“I Rode a 11th dimensional bubble  into this plane of existence using the multi dimensional broadcasting properties of this place as a stable conduit for transdimensional travel. To answer the next question you’re going to ask I didn’t really have a reason to help your organisation aside from the fact I know nothing about this entire world.  Also a steel ranger tried to kill me.” I say all this in a tone one would normally associate talking about the weather.

“Do you expect compensation ?” Steam gear says in an accusatory manner.

    “No, I DEMAND IT” I Say the first part with a saccharine smile, the latter part in a snarl.

“I will not be insulted by something claiming to be a mythical creature from another world.” He states loudly.

“I’M NOT A FUCKING MYTHICAL CREATURE, YOU’RE THE GODDAMN UNICORN” I yell while taking off my helmet. “I’M NOT MYTHICAL ( I point at my face) I’VE BEEN CALLED EITHER A TEST SUBJECT OR A THING FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS. THE ONLY EXCEPTIONS HAVE BEEN HER ( I Point at the mute Icepick) AND A BRAIN IN A JAR THAT ABDUCTS PEOPLE.” Having let out anger that had been building for a long while. I stood there arms crossed with a smile letting my canines show, while unsettling to another human it was downright terrifying to a creature that was descended from herbivores.

“I want 150 armor piercing 5.56 rounds, a bed to sleep and a lot of whatever currency ‘ponyland’ uses!” I said as I stormed out of the room, while putting my helmet back on.

    Chasing me out of the room and past the door guards was Icepick. “You understand that you just yelled at the pony that runs this facility?” She says with unrelenting anger. Everypony around has decided that watching me quietly would somehow be in their best interests.

“He deserves it, he was being a dick” I say with conviction.

“You understand he just had a large number of ponies rebel against him. Then you come out of the blue and kill all our former comrades!” Icepick’s voice has softened slightly

“Only because you asked me too! Do you understand that I have woke up in another world! You know what I found out shortly after I woke up?” I say with my voice not losing any of it’s edge.

    “What did you find out?” She yells at me.

“I HAVE NO SPINE, THE ONLY OTHER BEING THAT LET ME HAVE A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION WAS THE ONE WHO REPLACED MY SPINE. ONLY LETTING ME TALK WITH HIM AFTER  SURVIVING A SMALL ARMY OF ROBOTS !” I pause letting my voice become softer  “I haven’t had an act of decency towards me, in all the time i’ve spent fighting for my life. The only person that has tried to be cordial with me, has also used me to fight a war for them.”

Everyone in the room stared at me as I took off my helmet.

“Hey look at the aberration, look at me. Fucking look at me you pieces of shit” I say after a second of no replies.

Shortly afterwards Icepick grabs my arm and leads me in an unfamiliar direction. I follow thinking it can’t be worse than a bunch of aliens looking at you like you were a dangerous animal. After we got out of earshot of the other ponies Icepick turns towards me.

“Do you want to come walk with me to my room, It’s not that far?” She says in the most sympathetic tone that I had heard her speak in so far.

         “Sure why not, what do you want me to do while i’m there. Let me guess... fix the leaky faucet, make your bed for yo-” I was interrupted in my ranting by an unexpected development. Icepick had sat on her rump and was messing with her helmet. With a woosh of air the helmet came off.

“Hopefully this should help you believe i’m being sincere when I say this. You know what I want you to do when you get to my room? I want you to get some sleep, maybe then you will be emotionally stable enough to have a conversation. She says with fire in her voice along with a little bit of concern. She then looks straight into my eyes “I feel terrible about the way everyone looks at you, just know that I care about the person who ‘saved my ass’”.

I had noticed that we had the same iris colour. The only difference being that hers were two times larger.  After this realization I took a moment to truly look at her. She had a light blue coat, White mane and of course blue eyes. I believe she was doing the same to me.

“Lead the way Icy.” I say with the beginnings of a smirk.

“Icy? really a pet name.” She says while moving to put her helmet back on.

“Hey it was supposed to be endearing. Also can you not put the helmet back on?”

“Why shouldn’t I put it on?” She asks puzzled.

“I like hearing your voice more without it going through a speaker.” I answer truthfully while shrugging my shoulders.

“You do like hearing my voice though, right” She says in a teasing tone.

“Just show me where your room is at.” I say with a little humor in my voice.

“So in all seriousness what is your world like?” She said while beginning to walk forward again.

        How do you go about describing an entire world; I think to myself. How about a general description and answer any questions that arise, that could work.

“Well it’s the third farthest planet from the sun, has about seven billion hairless apes living on it.”

“Seven billion humans?” She asks bewildered.

“Yep, divided among 200 or so sovereign nations.” I reply with a little pride.

“Maybe there would be that many ponies around if we didn’t unleash the mega spells” She says darkly under her breath.

I barely manage to hear her say those words I then proceeded to ask the obvious question.

“What’s a megaspell?” I ask very intrigued.

“Well it’s a way to massively increase the effect the power of a spell. I don’t know much more than that If you want to about the mechanics of one ask a unicorn or somethin’.

The mega spells that were used on ponykind were created by the zebras. Those were  Balefire Bombs, just one could flatten entire cities.”

“So like nuclear weapons?” I say making the connection.

“Nuclear weapons?” she asked, now she seemed to be very intrigued.

“They’re also massive bombs.” I say dryly.

“Have your people used them on each other?” She asked with a palpable longing to know my answer.

“Well yes, but only twice. They were two of the first three nuclear bombs ever created. It was to end the bloodiest war in human history. Other than that they have only been tested.” I said watching as her cute face became a frown before my eyes. Wait did I just think she was cute...well she is cute.

“What kind of war could be so bad that you had to use such weapons?” She inquired making my train of thought crash and burn.

“Well it was a war that involved almost the entire world….” My explanation of World War Two continuing until we got to the door of her quarters.

“Finland entered the war on the side of germany after being invaded by russia before the war even officially bega-”

She opened the door and after I stepped inside I was greeted with the sight of a mostly dilapidated room, the only thing that looked like it was being cared about was a large oak book shelf.  As I was gawking at her bookshelf she had walked in and had jumped onto the bed and was sitting there watching me.

“You like my collection?” She asks me.

       “Where did you find all these?” I ask as I move to sit on the bed beside her.

“When we go out on missions, I kinda grab any book I see.” She says a little self conscious.

“Really, do the others give you crap about collecting books?” I ask with humor in my voice.

“Yeah, they think i’m wasting my time.” She says deflated.

“If it makes you feel any better I have a bigger book collection than you.” I say with mock sympathy.

“How could that possibly make me feel any better?” She replies with some sharpness in her voice, but had a smile on her face at the same time.

     “Well I had to know if you had a sense of humor, and after thorough investigation I have concluded you do in fact lack one.” I Reply in my butchered british accent.

“I do too have a sense of humor.” She said in a huff.

   “As much as I enjoy a good conversation, well actually any friendly exchange at this point.

I must ask that you let me use that bed.” I said while using my terrible accent.

“Do you usually lack stamina this much?” Icepick asks.

“Ha Ha funny innuendo, now get off the bed.”  I say dryly.

She complies and gets off the bed this leaves me in the awkward situation of do I get out and take off my armour. She breaks the silence that had fallen over us.

“I know you’re tired, but do you want to go get some food from the cafeteria?” She asks tentatively.

“There is really no need I have some food in my bag, Let me check” I say while pulling up the aid tab on my Pipboy.

“Hey I was going to ask about that, how did you get a Pipbuck?” She asked her interest piqued again.

“Doctor tone put it on me before I regained consciousness and for your information it’s a Pipboy.” I say as a started pointing to the name on the front above the screen.

“Doctor Stone was he the only other pony you have had a friendly conversation with so far? She inquires.

“Yes and I’m seeing more and more evidence that the last reality I was in is a mirror image of your world. Only with humans instead of ponies, this would be very interesting considering the last world I was in was a warped version of my own.” I say bemused.

“Well if you’re not gonna sleep can you pull out the food, I’m starving right now?”

She pleads with me.

“Fine, just give me a second.” I looked through my backpack finding a box of fancy lad snack cakes. I then threw the box at her leaving her speechless.

Pulling my pipboy back up to my face. I looked through my inventory seeing my 5.56 rounds severely depleted. This brought a grimace to my face, Epilogue being empty wasn’t a happy thought. Moving accidentally to the misc data tab on accident, I was surprised to discover a whole bunch of named audio files that weren’t there before.

At this moment Icepick chose to throw an unwrapped antebellum snack cake at my face. It struck my face dead on. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that a baked good that old doesn’t break open easily, depriving her of any sense triumph her accurate shot may have given her.

Putting my pipboy down to glare at her filling covered face. She responded by sticking her tongue out at me.

“You’re impossible.” We I say to her.

We both burst out laughing. I look back at my pipboy and selecting the first audio titled

Parting gift.

[ The not quite emotionless voice of Dr. Stone plays]

“Well you’re probably wondering how I got these recordings on here and what is on them. To answer the first question you must know that the ability to download files wirelessly to a Pipboy that I put on you is obviously within my capacity, as supported by the fact you are now listening to this recording. The other question is harder to answer.

A couple of years ago I was teleporting objects randomly for study, during this endeavor I came across what appeared to be a computer hard drive. Accessing the contents of this hard drive was harder said than done, it became my obsession for a couple of months actually.

After accessing the contents of this object, I was surprised to find it contained only audio files. The audio files in question were only music, strange styles of music. I surmised that this storage device must have come from radio station of some sort.

Later on when you were preparing to leave I had the idea to download all the music contained within to your Pipboy. Now have fun with your parting gift and remember to document all that you come across in your travels.

[Recording Ends]

“He sounds nice, what did he do to you again.” She asks after staying silent for the duration of the recording.

           “Abducted me, Tore out my spine and replaced it just to see whether or not I would freak out, Sent robots after me, and now acts like i’m his long lost son because I survived his challenges with my sanity intact.” I answer nonchalantly.

“Repressed anger? Hmm that would a lot of your behavior.” She ponders out loud.

“Did you find a psychology book and then read it?” I ask nicely.

“Yes, I did.” She answers while nodding slowly.

“Do you think that gives you the skills necessary to diagnose someone elses mental health? I Ask angrily.

“You just proved my point, you clearly need some sort of support  group.” She says while reciprocating my sharp tone.

“WHERE IN HELL WOULD I FIND ANOTHER INTERDIMENSIONAL VAGABOND, NEVERMIND A WHOLE SUPPORT GROUP OF THEM!” I Scream at her.

“You’re clearly Bipolar or something !” She yells back but with pity instead of anger.

“No I just don’t want to talk about my mental health with anyone!” my voice had lost all of it’s anger by now.

“You need to or else you will end up just another bucked up wasteland monster!” She states vehemently.

`“You’re more right than you know…” I look at the floor I shouldn’t tell her about why I spared Stone yet. “But enough of that for now, I actually need to sleep and arguing isn’t helping me that much.”

“Just tell me if you need to talk, you can talk to me.” She says earnestly

“Noted, actually I have a question right now?” I ask

“What’s your question?” She responds.

“How do you take off that armour?” I ask genuinely curious.

“Well it has an enchantment in the armour’s spell matrix that lets the leg pieces detach first the rest of the outer plate armor coming off in pieces, under the main plate is recon barding.”. She answers my question happily then as an afterthought she said “Why do you want me to take it off?” She then looks suggestively at me.

“Well I guess I’m already sleeping in your bed…” My voice breaks off in mock contemplation.

She chuckles then asks me “Actually, can you help me get my armour off?” She asks meekly.

“Yeah, I can” I think for a second then speak again as I’m striding closer to her. “Can you please minimize the innuendo?”

“Yeah I’ll try?” She says as I get to within arm's reach of her.

The next five minutes are filled with her frantically directing me to remove the right pieces of the armor in the correct order. All told this showed me how much of a bitch power armour is to get off, Especially if the being wearing it lacks hands.

After getting the outer plate and exoskeleton off, “Do you want me to help you get the recon barding off?” I say awkwardly.

“What would make you think any differently?” She says surprised then looks at me. “What you have against being unclothed?”

  I merely nod. Finishing that tasking task I saw Icepick without all her armour on She had a tattoo of three ice cycles on her posterior.

“Whats with the ass tattoo?” I ask slipping into a less eloquent dialect.

“Oh that's my cutie mark, ponies get them when they discover what they're good at.”

She answers my question in a manner reminiscent of an elementary school teacher

“Don’t patronize the terrifying alien.” I say humor very evident in my voice.

“Yeah you might be terrifying if you didn't have that big flaw.” She says in a teasing manner.

“What is this big flaw?” I ask with a lilt in my voice.

“The only thing that looks more like a pony than you would be a zebra.” She says deadpan.

      “Hello ( I actually wave my arms at her) bipedal, hairless and omnivorous. Those properties separate me pretty widely from you talking candy coloured equines.” I say with an argumentative tone.

“Your facial structure is very similar, you speak in the same language as us and you don’t speak in riddles like a bloody zebra. Also we eat meat now, it just took a balefire war to discover how tasty cooked animal is.” She says matching my tone.

“Ok, you win i’m not that much of an eldritch abomination to you. Doesn’t change the fact that your entire species looks disgustingly cute to me.” By now I had started taking my armour off I had already removed my duster.

“So you accept that you aren’t scary compared to an alicorn or hellhound?” She asks expecting affirmation to her loaded question.

“Do understand the rule that what you don’t see is the thing that will kill you?” I answer with my own loaded question. I had only my pants and t-shirt on now.

She nods tentatively then looks quizzically at me.

“The innocuous outlander is more dangerous because he has an obvious motivation. The threat comes from what he is willing to do to the status quo in his quest.”I say darkly.

“And that motivation is?” She inquires seemingly unfazed by my previous dark tone.

“To Go home.” I say humbly

“Thats it?” She asks dumbstruck.

“What were you expecting, me using a massive piece of prewar tech to further some shadowy agenda.” I say sarcastically.

“Do you become more irritable when you are suffering from sleep deprivation?” She asks in monotone.

“No more than usual” I say as finally slide into the twin sized bed secure in my boxers.

“Goodnight” I say while waving her off with a hand.

“You know when I said I would let me use my bed, I didn’t mean I wouldn’t sleep on it as well. So scoot over, you actually look more comfortable without all the armour on.”

“More comfortable to you?” I say looking at her with distaste.

She took this moment to hop in the bed with me. I was quickly pressed against the wall due to a lot of the limited space on the bed being taken up by her volume.

“You’re a real host, you know what I would do in your situation.” I say angrily

“What would you do in my situation?” She answers while pointing her legs away from me. Her barrel was now pressed against my chest.

“Spare my guests dignity by making them sleep on the floor.” I say in a mock self righteous tone.

  “You’re making the assumption that you have dignity.” She says finally getting comfortable.

“touché, well atleast you’re soft.” I say in concession.

“I was right, you do wear clothes because you can’t retain heat.” She says out loud her find.

“You could have asked why I wore clothes, instead of getting me almost naked then proceeding to snuggle with me.” I say in a vexed tone.

  “Goodnight, don’t let the parasprite bite.” She says in a cute lilting tone.

Dammit I guess it’s obvious that I do think she is cute. Equally obvious is that she has developed a crush on me. The thought of her feelings towards me doesn't fill me with unpleasant feelings, It just makes me think about whether or not I’m ready to reciprocate any feelings she has. As these thoughts float around in my mind I fall into the void of unconsciousness once again.

END OF CHAPTER FIVE PART TWO

Footnote Level Up

Perk Swift Learner Rank Two

You gain experience an additional 10% experience whenever experience is earned.

Skills

Guns-90

Science-50