All is lost, eat the children!

All is Lost, Eat the Children!

I spat on the floor and pulled on my crotch. It was show time.

"Come on, Cocksucker. We're going to kick some cunt." I put on my super cool sunglasses which I pulled out of my ass, and then grabbed My Dick, and rushed forward towards the town. All around me the ponies continued having 'Friendship' with one another, eyeing me with teary eyes and desperate looks. The ponies with dildo hats were keeping guard on the other ponies, making sure that no one stopped having friendship. "Fucking disgusting."

I passed several houses, and the amount of chariots and golden-armored ponies kept on increasing. There were about five hundred thousand billion by the time I reached the massive library castle thing in the middle of town.

It was fucking huge!

Walls that were as tall as an NBA nigger, but purple, and had some freaky star thing plastered on them everywhere. I was staring at it from afar, and felt disgusted. There were bigass books everywhere. Many of them seemed to have the pages stuck to one another by an unknown, sticky substance, and the dildo hat guards were everywhere.

"Cocksucker, this is bad. We need to get into the castle thing without being seen!" I half screamed into Cocksucker's ears. He was shivering and trembling badly, and his ears were red and swollen from all the shooting and screaming. He also had this huge blister in his eye.

He looked at me with his healthy eye and whimpered. His other eye was red, and swollen to a massive size. Imagine a regular rabbit, now a baby one, and now picture one of his eyes as a red, pus oozing basketball. It was that bad.

"Oh God, dude. This is so cool!" I poked his eye with My Dick. "It's all squishy and shit! Look how it bobs... like a Filipino prostitute!"

Cocksucker was wailing and twitching in agony with every poke from My Dick, his mouth covered in blood because of his severed tongue. He had bitten it off during his convulsions. "Shit, Cocksucker. That's gotta hurt!"

After using his eye like a punching bag for a bit, I approached the gate of the massive fortress-library with a penis-shaped dome on its top. It was a massive structure, with veins and pubic hair sculpted on its base and towers, and a moat filled with milky goodness.

"Damn. This place must be paradise for all frenchmen." I gazed around as I closed in on the gates, which were shaped like man-ass, with the entrance resembling a little brown star.

As I drew closer to the castle, several of the dildo hat ponies started screaming and shouting, obviously alarmed at my approaching swag.

"Horsefags, I am the most awesome dude to ever be seen by your pussy ass horse eyes. Take me to your leader!"

However, it would seem these ponies had the intelligence of your average American!

"WAH! GET HIM, GAIS! FREEDOM!" One of them shouted, its massive dildo hat flapping about as he ran. "ASDJKAJSD!!"

I groaned and pulled out My Dick from inside my pants. It was hard as steel, and hot from having shot all over Applewhore's face just a few minutes ago. But most importantly, it was ready to go one more round.

"Chest or mouth, ponies?" I whispered in a totally badass manner, and aimed at the pony with the biggest, most veiny dildo, and fired.

Once, twice, thrice, I blew my load all over the dildo hat's face, chest, and vital organs. Blood splattered all over the pavement, and his dildo hat went flying through the air, flopping about in the breeze before landing on top of the other dildo ponies, killing them instantly.

Cocksucker stopped convulsing for a few seconds, and peeked out from inside my shirt pocket to gaze at the sheer awesomeness that was my aim. Not only had I killed the dildo ponies, but some of my bullets also flew into a maternity ward, a retirement home, and a mental hospital. All three exploded and everyone was murdered in the most gruesome manner possible. Especially the babies. The babies died the worst, because they were useless.

Smiling like a smug motherfucker, I pressed on into the castle, penetrating it like your fat neighbor does your mother when your dad is too busy weeping in the next room to notice.

"Cocksucker, get ready..." I looked around, searching for the boss of the level.