A Little Bit of Chaos in my Life

by forevertheDoctor

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Fluttershy, Discord
Length: 6472

How I, the embodiment of kindness, fell for a little bit of chaos

Hi, um...I'm Fluttershy...you probably knew that...sorry. Um, c-can I start again? Ok. No turning back. You are about to read a twisted tale of chaos. This is a journal, written from the day he came to my garden to the day I had to leave him. This is a story about two powerful forces interwinded, and how all I needed to be happy was a tiny bit of chaos in my life.

Published 2014-01-27 03:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-28 19:40:20 UTC

May 25th, 1,004

Um, well, hello diary. This is...my first entry, obviously. I guess I'll just start from the beginning. Oh, I'm sorry for boring you diary, you probably don't want to hear this but here I go. Today started out like any other day, I woke up at around seven in the morning and fed all the animals their breakfast. That was all I really had to do, so I decided to go out for a bit. I recalled that Applejack needed some help at Sweet Apple Acres. Of course she would NEVER complain about work, but she had been looking more tired then usual. I flew over to her farm to see her already wide awake and hard at work. I spoke to her like I spoke to everypony else I've met. Timidly.

"Oh, why good morning Applejack, I came over to see if you need any help." I said. Applejack turned to look at me and smiled. She spoke quite loudly and I nearly jumped.

"Woowee! Mornin' there Fluttershah! Ah was just in the middle of a good round of apple buckin'! Uh, ya'll sure ya wanna help? It does take a lot of, uh...strength." she said, clearly trying not to offend me, but she was right. I'm not very strong at all. Rainbow Dash is much better at these sorts of things.

"Oh...well, sorry..." I said. I think Applejack was about to say something, but there was a loud gurgling noise, and I blushed when I realized it was my stomach. Applejack just laughed and I blushed even more.

"Oh sugarcube, did ya'll have yerself some breakfast this mornin'?" asked Applejack. I shook my head. This happens often. I spend so much time caring for my animals, I forget about myself. Luckily for me, Applejack was kind enough to send me home with a few apples which I ate on the way back to my cottage. It was still morning so I decided to tend to my garden before I had to feed the animals and myself lunch. So I made sure all my flowers were blooming and did all my typical gardening routines, when suddenly there was a puff of smoke and someone shouted my name. Being the coward I was, I yelped and hid behind a bush and tried to make myself as small as possible. The smoke cleared and it tuned out it was only my friend Discord. So I came out of hiding and greeted him.

"Why good morning, Discord. Are you alright? You never come to visit." I said. Discord merely stretched and shrugged his shoulders.

"What can I say? I was bored." he said. I just shrugged back because I really couldn't provide him any entertainment. Still, I don't usually have company aside from my pets, and I wanted him to stay.

"There are snacks and drinks in the kitchen. You're welcome to help yourself." I told him. He winked and snapped his fingers, causing a bouquet of flowers to materialize in my hooves.

"Thank you Fluttershy. I always feel welcome at your little cottage." he said. I smiled. When he went into the house, I took the flowers Discord gave me and put them in my mane. I weaved them around until my mane was a long single braid dotted with flowers. I played with it and twirled it around my hoof.

"Oh, you look so pretty. You should wear your mane like that more often." said Discord, who suddenly materialized behind me holding two sandwiches and two glasses of lemonade. I blushed and stroked the delicate flowers nestled in my pastel pink mane.

"Thank you. Umm..." I said awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Discord grabbed the air and pulled a picnic blanket out of nowhere while levitating the food. He placed one sandwich and one glass of lemonade in front of me.

"Oh wow, you made this for me? Oh, how kind! Heehee, I must be rubbing off on you!" I nudged him playfully. He blushed but quickly replaced it with fake horror.

"What?! No, no, I'm as chaotic as over!" said Discord. He proved it by spawning a cotton candy cloud raining chocolate milk, which made me giggle. So we talked and laughed until Celestia lowered her sun. Discord left and I dragged myself into bed.

I didn't take my braid out.

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think. Thank you.

May 26th, 1,004

When I woke up, a bunny was sleeping at the foot of my bed. I was immediately wide awake, for the bunny was not Angel. He woke up and I kept staring at him. I have never seen this bunny before.

"Well hello there little guy. Did you get lost? This is not your home...oh! You must have came in through a window! Oh, are you that desperate for shelter?! You poor thing! You can stay as long as you like!" I said. The bunny snickered and I jumped. It gave an over exaggerated bow and spoke. Like, actually SPOKE.

"I appreciate your hospitality, Fluttershy." the rabbit said in a familiar voice. I cocked my head.

"Discord? What are you doing?" I asked. The bunny turned back into a draconequus and hovered a few feet in the air.

"Oh, well you see, I've been so awfully BORED and we had so much fun yesterday! So I was in my thinking tree, and I thought, 'Discord! Since you enjoyed yourself so much yesterday, you should visit your good friend Fluttershy and have even more fun!' So, here I am!" said Discord. I simply stared at him, and he smiled awkwardly.

"Um, well, I wasn't going to do anything today, just, you know, go out for a quiet day on the town." I said. I expected Discord to classify that as boring and go away but he actually nodded eagerly and turned back into a bunny.

"Ok! Sounds like a plan!" he said and he jumped on my back.

"Oh, um, ok..." I said and trotted out the door. I headed to the library to check out a book I been wanting to read for a while now. I greeted Twilight at the door.

"Hey Fluttershy! Come on in!" said Twilight. I nodded and headed on in. Twilight looked at Discord and cocked her head.

"Oh? That's not Angel...this one is brown! Is he a stray you rescued?" asked Twilight. Discord crossed his arms and glared at Twilight.

"Rude." said Discord. Twilight jumped and her wings popped out. Her expression grew deadpan and Discord just smiled.

"Oh. Hello, Discord." said Twilight. I was starting to get uncomfortable, so I walked towards the bookshelf. I looked up and started to flap my wings to reach the book that was high on the shelf, but Discord stopped me.

"Allow me." he said. He lightly thumped his foot on my back and the book fell to my hooves. Discord examined it and turned to look up at me.

"Daring Do and the Gryphon's Goblet? Really? You're only on the second book?" said Discord. I blushed and Discord just picked up the book and jumped back on my back. Then Spike walked in and pointed at my mane.

"Hey Fluttershy I really like what you did to your mane!" said Spike. I suddenly realized I had never taken my braid out. Discord raised an eyebrow and whispered in my ear.

"Taking MY advice on fashion? My, my aren't we trusting?" he whispered. I just shrugged and trotted out of the library. Soon we were home and I looked at the book hopefully.

"Oh, I hope this is a good book!" I said a bit worried. Discord snorted.

"Since when are Daring Do books NOT good?" said Discord. I pondered this.

"I suppose you have a point. Have you read this one?" I said. Discord shrugged.

"When you're petrified for a thousand years, you don't really get around much. I've only read one book before you and your friends turned me to stone again." he said. I opened the book.

"Well, I'm glad I have somepony to read with." I said. Discord returned to his original form and coiled himself around me. There was a low rumbling sound coming from his throat which I think may have been the draconequus version of a purr, or at least a sound that signaled he was content. We seemed to read at the same pace, for he never objected when I turned a page and never complained when I went to reread a section I didn't quite understand. We stayed that way for the remainder of the afternoon, me curled up on the carpet with Discord's body wrapped around me, and I imagine that's what it would feel like if a snake tried to hug you. By the end of the afternoon we had reached the climax of the story, and Discord was waving his paw and talon in front of his face frantically.

"Oh my Celestia, oh my Celestia, how's she gonna get out of this one?!" he said in a panicked tone of voice. I was simply holding my breath, the suspense was too much! But of course, Daring Do managed to use her wits to come up with a crafty way to get herself out of her predicament and we were relieved. I closed the book and saw that Discord was smiling. I looked out the window and gasped.

"Oh my! It certainly has gotten late! I had better eat dinner and get ready for bed!" I said. Discord looked heartbroken and he groaned like a little filly who's mother had just ordered her to bed.

"But the night's still young! We should do something!" said Discord. I was tempted to run away with him for the night but I had my responsibilities.

"I'm sorry, but I need to eat and the animals need to be-" I tried to continue speaking but there was an apple in my mouth. Discord snapped his fingers and fresh fruits and vegetables appeared in every animal's bowls. The animals clapped and cheered and Discord bowed. I chewed and swallowed my apple while trying not to choke. Discord looked at me expectantly and I couldn't help but cave in.

"Ok, let's go see a movie." I sighed. But at the same time I was happy.

"Yes!" said Discord. He turned himself into a perfectly normal pegasus pony with a light brown coat, black mane, and striking red eyes. If he went out as a draconequus he received many judgmental stares from the townsfolk. He held my hoof and we flew off into the night. We landed by the movie theater and we walked in. Discord walked up to the teenage earth pony mare running the ticket stand.

"Two tickets to Equestria War Z." Discord said after examining the movies playing for a good five minutes. The mare handed him the tickets and we walked to the snack stand. I gulped.

"I-isn't that the scary one with the zombie ponies?!" I squeaked. Discord rolled his eyes.

"Come on, YOLO!" said Discord.

"YO-what?" I asked. He just shook his head and turned to the unicorn mare. He ordered a large popcorn with extra butter. I walked on ahead to get our seats and Discord met me there after he had paid for his popcorn. He handed me the bag and got comfortable in the seat.

"Couldn't you have just got yourself a bag for free?" I asked. He shook his head and sipped from his soda he had gotten and I realized he was trying something different. He was trying to spend a night as a normal pony. I ate some of the popcorn during the previews and gave him the rest of the bag. The lights dimmed and the movie came on. The movie itself wasn't half bad. There were just a few scary parts and I jumped and hugged Discord during those. He didn't seem to mind. At the end, it was nice because the stallion made it back to his family safely, and I was relieved. Discord, on the other hand was disappointed.

"That's it?! The zombies don't touch ONE of them?! Augh, what an awful ending!" said Discord as we walked out of the theater. I slugged him gently over the head and he laughed.

"That was a wonderful ending!" I said. Discord shrugged.

"That's your opinion, Flutters. Well, I'll see you soon! VERY soon, actually." said Discord. His eyes glimmered with mischief and he flew off to Celestia knows where.

But I kind of wanted him to stay.

Author's Note

I thought the ending of World War Z was awful, but that's just me.

May 30th, 1,004

I missed him. Discord, I mean...sorry. I should have seen it coming, should have known spirits come and spirits go. They never settle. I shook it off and went to see if I got any mail. When I opened the mailbox, there was a single envelope. It was covered with glitter and pink lace, pretty actually. I tore it open thinking I got it by mistake. Who would send boring old Fluttershy such pretty mail? But no. It had MY name on it. It was an invitation to a party in Cloudsdale, with MY name on it! Just then Discord appeared in front of me with a sombrero and a mariachi band.

"Look who's back!" Discord shouted while the band behind him loudly, each note horribly off key. He snapped his fingers and his hat and the band disappeared. He leaned in to look at the letter I was clutching in my hooves.

"Whatcha got there Flutters?" he asked. I held the letter closer to my chest.

"It's an invitation to a party in Cloudsdale!" I told him. He looked a bit disappointed, as if he expected something more interesting. For a second I wondered why I was even going. These were the same pegasi that teased me in school. Perhaps I wanted to finally mingle with many other ponies my own species. But I knew I was lying to myself. For once, just once, I wanted to make everypony's heads turned when I walked to a party. And I knew just the unicorn who could help me. As if reading my thoughts, (perhaps he was, I never can tell with him...) Discord turned to me and positioned his talons to snap them.

"Well, if it's a party you're going to at least allow me to make you look pretty." said Discord. Before I could open my mouth, he had snapped his fingers and I was wearing a forest green dress with pink lace across the hem. Every time I turned or walked, it was as if trees were blowing in the breeze. But the most amazing part was that we weren't even done yet! With a few more snaps of Discord's fingers, I was soon fitted into pink glass slippers, crystal butterfly shaped earrings and a pearl necklace. My mane was braided with pink posies dotting the braid. Celestia, I could hug him. He soon stepped back to admire his handiwork, and he whistled.

"Fluttershy, I don't mean to brag, but you look...oh, who am I kidding of course I'm gonna brag, I mean look at you girl, you're FABULOUS!" said Discord. I couldn't help but squeal and clap my hooves. The glass made a pleasant clinking noise. Discord turned into his pegasus form and put a hoof around my neck. It was as if he knew I was terrified to go to the party.

"I hope you don't mind if I accompany you." he said. I shook my head and I grabbed him and started dragging him to Rarity's boutique.

"You've made me look so good I simply must return the favor!" I said. He just rolled his eyes while I carried him to the oh so fabulous Rarity.

Upon arrival, Discord opened the door for me and I walked in. Rarity was bustling around the shop like usual, trimming dresses and flinging different materials around, one of which landed on Discord. Rarity finally noticed we were here. Well, at least she noticed Discord was there.

"Oh dear! I'm so, so sorry! ...! Oh, but that shade of red looks SO good on you!" Rarity said. And she was right. The red material contrasted perfectly with Discord's jet black mane.

"What brings you here?" asked Rarity.

"Well, the lovely Fluttershy over here was invited to a party. She's already dolled up but I need some attention myself." said Discord. When Rarity finally noticed me, she gasped and immediately started stroking my dress and my mane.

"Oh darling, you look simply STUNNING! Where ever did you get that-you know what? No matter! We have the handsome stallion to attend to!" Rarity said. She took Discord by the hoof and yanked him behind a changing curtain with impressive strength. She waved her hoof dismissively at me and said,

"Now, now, this may take a while! You can go wait for him outside!" said Rarity. There were grunts and crashes and shouts in protest as I walked out the boutique and sat on the bench. Discord was controlling himself quite well. He had gone the extra mile to take a pegasus form and he even managed to change his voice when speaking to Rarity. It was higher pitched, and more boyish, more youthful. An our or two passed and Rarity emerged with Discord who was panting and looked traumatized but looked quite good. Rarity had dressed him in an all red suit and black tie, with a black rose pinned to his suit. Rarity wished us good luck, and we flew off to enjoy a fun night at Cloudsdale.

Little did I know it would be a night of heartbreak and destruction.

Author's Note

Yes, this shall be a two part entry. Don't kill me, I'm sorry, I really don't feel like writing right now to be totally honest, but I'm gonna try to write an entry every night.

Still May 30th, 1,004

I...I'm sorry. I stopped writing...because...because I couldn't stop crying...because I'm such a...such a...cryfilly...I'm sorry I'm so pathetic. I'll keep going. Discord and I were flying to Cloudsdale, and Discord had gently prodded me with his hoof.

"So...don't you think this is a bit early for a party held by a bunch of 21 year old frat pegasi?" asked Discord. I glared at him and said,

"Discord! That's know way to talk about our hosts!" Discord was silent and I looked at the invitation. I should have just turned back and be the coward I always was. Why did I have to be so brave?

"Oh, it says it goes all night, from high afternoon to dawn." I read. Discord tilted his head and came closer to me to read the invitation.

"And they just sent it a half hour ago? It's high noon right now!" said Discord, gesturing to the sun. Oh, and poor naive me came up with a brilliant excuse. Just like always...

"Oh...um...maybe they forgot." I said. We were silent the rest of the way. When the great city of Cloudsdale was in view, I forced myself to go faster. The wind in my face were the memories of my childhood, good and bad. My mother teaching me how to fly. Me discovering I hated heights. Me just barely getting into flight school. Me failing every test I took. Me in the corner of my dorm with a kitchen knife pressed against my throat. Me meeting Rainbow Dash, who's friendship saved my life. Me getting my cutie mark. Me returning to my home, only to discover father had left me and my mother. My mother passing away. That terrible, terrible song.

Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly!

I realized I hadn't been breathing, and I exhaled. The whole time I had been flying down memory lane, I didn't realize we had already arrived at the place where the party was being held. Discord was lightly shaking me.

"Yo Fluttershy...y'alright?" asked Discord. I nodded and took a deep breath. He held my hoof and we stepped in together. I immediately squeaked as we were bombarded with bright laser lights and blasting stereo. It was dark since the window shudders were down. Discord let a laugh escape his windpipe and fluttered a couple of feet in the air.

"This is what I'm talking about!" he shouted over the blasting music. He began to fly off and I panicked. I grabbed his hoof and he turned to look at me.

"N-No! Don't l-leave me alone!" I said, my voice barely audible. His gaze softened and he kept close to me. I was just about to make my way to the darkest and smallest corner, when I saw a beautiful pegasus mare stroll down, causing the crowd to make a path for her, as if she were a water goddess who had to walk across an ocean. And she was looking right at me. I recognized her, her name was Ruby Throat. Her mane was red, her coat was green, and her eyes were blue. Her cutie mark was a hummingbird, for she was known to fly with frantic, beautiful wingbeats as fast as a heartbeat. Oh, and did I mention she was the prettiest mare in my class? I gulped as she looking deep into my eyes, as if she was using her own Stare on me. Suddenly, she laughed and hugged me. Discord looked at me quizzically and I just shrugged.

"Oh my Celestia, it's you! Oh Fluttershy! You simply look beautiful in that dress! *le gasp!* have you been, like, power preening your wings? Because your feathers are GORGEOUS! SAAAAY....you should enter your name in the contest! All the mares are entering to see who has the prettiest wings, and in three hours, all the stallions vote! And a little bird told me that YOU have a pretty good chance at winning. Tata, and may the best pegasus win!" Ruby Throat strolled away giggling, and I blushed, and couldn't help but glance at my wings. Oh I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, dearest Fluttershy you simply MUST enter the contest! It's DEFINITELY not a trap laid by the most prettiest, popular mare in Cloudsdale!' Yeah. That's exactly what you're thinking. Discord nudges me and snickers.

"Oh, I see you have met your long lost childhood gal pal! Well, Flutters, you have my vote!" said Discord. I started to sweat and pulled my pastel yellow wings closer to my sides.

"Oh stop..." I muttered. He turned to face me and clucked in disappointment.

"Come now, Fluttershy. Would I lie to you?" asked Discord before trotting over to the table by the door where the hosts kept the cookies and punch. Before I knew it, Ruby Throat came to my side and was whispering in my ear.

"Oh Fluttershy, way to GO. That is one hot stallion." whispered the hummingbird like pegasus. I blushed furiously. I was about to open my mouth to object, but Ruby Throat was already flying to the livelier part of the party. Discord returned with two glasses of punch and handed a glass to me. I took it and had a swig. Celestia knows I needed it.

"So Fluttershy, care to dance?" Discord outstretched his hoof to me. And I have to admit, he looked very sexy. His red eyes shone in the colorful lights of the lasers, his mane was a sleek black, and he had the tiniest hint of a fang when he smiled. Without another thought I took his hoof. He drank the rest of his glass and teleported the cup to Celestia knows where.

"Um...I don't really know how to dance...sorry." I whimpered. He spun me around, making my wings pop out and making a squeal escape my lips. He dipped me down towards the floor and looked deep into my eyes.

"Nonsense. I'm the best teacher around." said Discord. He proceeded to lift me up and fly me to the center of the dance floor. Oh what it must have been like to see a handsome stallion plop out of the sky while twirling a mare around.

"D-Discord...please st-stop...everypony is looking at us!" I whispered as I looked at the ponies who were staring at me. Oh Celestia was my dress ok? Was my hair slipping? Did I have a wingboner? Discord pulled back my head so I was looking at him an nopony else. He looked at me, and gave that crooked smirk I always thought was...um...sexy....

"It's easy. Just let the music flow in your body. Then you just move!" said Discord he gave me another twirl. So I closed my eyes and listened to the music. Nothing else. Only the beat. Then, I felt something spark inside of me, and my extremities tingled with electricity. I opened my eyes and put all cowardice aside. And I moved. I spun and jumped and whipped my mane back and forth, forgetting that everypony was staring at me. Discord slid in and grabbed my hooves. He spun me around and threw me up in the air where I proceeded to do three barrel rolls before Discord swept in to catch me at the last millisecond, and soon we were moving in perfect...disharmony.

"That is how you do it." whispered Discord as the song ended. I snapped out of my trance to see everypony looking at us. The mare's jaws dropped and the stallions had ridiculous grins on their faces. My face turned bright red and I backed away slowly.

"Oh...um...sorry." I said and Discord came flying in and swept me off my hooves. The ceiling became our dance floor as we did an aerial waltz, and he kept spinning me around. I loved being spun around.

"I wish we could stay like this forever..." I murmured as we continued flying in slow circles. We spent the next hour or so like that, dancing in the air. And you know what? For once in my life I felt like I belonged in Cloudsdale.

"OK EVERYPONY! TIME FOR THE CONTEST!" a cheery voice rang out. It was Ruby Throat. I gulped. Discord had helped me gain the courage and enter my name in the contest. Not like I expected to win. Discord took my hoof and led me to the front of the stage where the winner would be presented. The stallions got in line to see the names of the mares who had entered, and they voted. When the final stallion placed his vote, a small female pegasus with freckles and big circular glasses presented the votes to Ruby Throat. She examined the results and gasped.

"The winner is...Fluttershy!" said Ruby Throat. I gasped as the entire room cheered and shouted my name. Discord had to give me a couple of pushes before I flew up to the stage. Ruby Throat gave me the microphone.

"Oh, thank you everypony! It's such an honor that you-" my speech was interrupted by somepony shouting my name. It was Discord. He looked desperate and he was motioning upwards with his hoof.

"FLUTTERSHY! LOOK UP! THEY'RE GOING TO-" shouted Discord, and he was going to keep going, but another stallion tackled him. I desperately looked around until I found myself staring at where Discord had pointed. But it was too late. A bucket tied to a string was released, and a red liquid drenched me. I could tell by the smell and texture what it was. Bunny blood. These pegasi had slaughtered innocent creatures just to dump their body fluids on me.

And it still sickens me. I wanted to scream, but every time I opened my mouth blood trickled down my throat and I ended up choking. I couldn't see anything. The entire world was red. All I could really use my senses for at that point was to hear the roaring laughter of everypony in that building save for me and Discord. He couldn't be laughing! Could he? I flew blindly off the stage and my head hit something hard. The laughter grew stronger and stronger and stronger, until there was a single scream.

And I blacked out.

....

........wake up Fluttershy.....

Fluttershy.....

......

The room is burning Fluttershy.....

...you have to get up....

....

I'm so sorry.

That was all I could hear. But it was what was pulling me out of my deep sleep. It was Discord's voice. When I jolted awake, the scent of smoke instantly invaded my nostrils. I gasped. The building was burning. Some ponies were leaping out windows while others sat mourning in front of shriveled up, burnt black things.

The incinerated corpses of dead ponies. I shook all over and Discord grabbed me.

"I'm so sorry! I couldn't help it! When they did that to you...I lost my temper...I can't control my powers as well in this form, and, well...THIS happened!" said Discord.

"It wasn't your fault...but...I...I need to be alone. We get out and you leave me alone." I said. Discord saluted and spread his wings. He held on to me, and we both flapped our wings. The combined force of our flight propelled us out a window and back to the ground, where I pulled away from Discord and ended up locked in my cottage. I haven't even bothered to wash myself off and right now, suicide sounds pretty good. I understand some days are dark or blue.

But today was just red.

Blood red.

Author's Note

I read Carrie a couple days ago. And this chapter is born.

May 31st, 1,004

I couldn't stop crying. It was like every single tragedy in my life was piling together, crushing me. I had locked myself in the bathroom and thrived in my own seclusion. Then there was a knock on the door and a voice I was longing and yet dreading to hear.

"Fluttershy?" Discord's voice came from outside the locked door. I turned away, pretending I couldn't hear him. After five minutes, I thought he'd gone away, but the knocking came again, louder than before.

"Fluttershy, come out of the bathroom." said Discord. I shifted, nervous.

"Um...no..." I said. Discord's tone grew more firm.

"Young filly? Young filly come out of that bathroom right-" I interrupted him loudly.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME, DISCORD!" My own outburst shocked me, and I quickly put my hooves over my mouth and blushed. Discord chucked softly, and continued his little routine.

"Come out of that bathroom right now, I- this is your father speaking and you will respect me in my house!" said Discord. I opened the door just a crack.

"Umm...in all politeness, this is MY house." I murmured. Discord rolled his eyes. Clearly this was some kind of joke I couldn't understand. Why did he call himself my father? And why did he suddenly spawn a bear hat?

Author's Note

Sorry I just couldn't resist. I HAD to write this chapter. In all seriousness the story will continue some time this weekend. I just really REALLY wanted to write this.

June 2nd, 1,004

I had a nightmare last night. Not a...scary nightmare. Oh...I don't know how to explain. I guess I'll just describe it.

You see, in the dream, I was just a filly, only around twelve. I had just earned my cutie mark during Rainbow Dash's big race. Of course I had rushed home right away to show my parents. Maybe my dad would actually be proud of me. I flew up to my house, which took a bit of effort since I'm not a natural flyer. Once I got there I swung open the door and practically slid up to my parents and brother. My father's name was Steel Wing. He was a big, strong pegasus with a grey coat. His eyes were a royal purple. He had a black mane cut in a large mohawk. His cutie mark was a picture of a wing. My mother's name was Posey. She resembled me in pretty much every way except her cutie mark, which was three pink tulips. Say, now that I think about it, MY cutie mark was three pink butterflies! Anyway, that left my brother. His name was Buttercup. He had an orange coat and a messy yellow mane. His eyes were forest green, a beautiful color. He didn't have his cutie mark, but he loved flying. My entire family gave me quizzical looks. Too excited to say anything, I extended my flank, showing them it was no longer blank.

My entire family's faces beamed. My smile grew as I saw legitimate pride in my father's eyes for the very first time. I galloped up to him, and he hugged me, pressing my body into his with his massive wing. My mother nuzzled me, her expression full of warmth and pride. My brother simply stood in shock, which was quite amusing considering he had always teased me about how he would be the first to earn a cutie mark. My father examined my cutie mark, trying to figure out my special talent.

"Three butterflies...how did you get that, Fluttershy?" asked my father. I froze. I couldn't tell him I was on the ground! He had always warned me about that place, and told me that if I ever went down there, I would be in BIG trouble! I gulped and tried to act natural.

"Oh...well...I was just out, flying around when I saw a group of butterflies. I stopped to watch them, but suddenly that filly named Rainbow Dash kind of broke the sound barrier, and that frightened all the butterflies. Naturally I was upset because they were just so beautiful and I didn't want them to go, so I tried calling out to them, and they actually listened! So it turns out that being able to communicate with little critters is my special talent!" I explained, leaving parts out and filling them in with more suitable parts. My entire family looked impressed, which made feel so happy! Mom cooked up some of her famous grilled daffodil sandwiches, my favorite! And for the first time in a while...I felt like I belonged.

The next morning when I woke up, I gasped and my pupils shrank in fear. My dad, who had looked so proud of me just last night, towered over my bed, scowling at me. He began shouting at me, making me try to hide underneath my covers.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, GIRL?!" he barked. I whimpered and covered my head.

"STOP BEING SUCH A BUCKING CELESTIA DAMNED WIMP AND LOOK ME IN THE FACE!" he shouted even louder. My mother came rushing up the stairs, coming to my defense.

"STEEL WING! Are those any type of words you should use around a filly? Around YOUR DAUGHTER?!" she shot back. My father simply glared at my mother, who held her ground. The one thing that makes us different.

"She deserves those harsh words, Posey! She's LIED to us!" said my father. Mom looked at me in shock.

"No! You wouldn't! F-Fluttershy...did you?" Mom stammered. I simply gave a whimper in reply. Dad looked at me with disgust in his eyes, as if I were a piece of filth.

"Firefly, the mother of that Rainbow filly rushed over right away talking about how our precious Fluttershy was WEAK enough to be pushed to the ground. The GROUND! Not only that, but she LIED. The GROUND is where she got her cutie mark, not the clouds! Why would she get it in the clouds? Clouds are for REAL pegasi. SHE is not a pegasus. She never will be. She's destined to be WORTHLESS! Do you hear me, girl? Talking to butterflies won't get you anywhere in life! You are NOT my daughter. You are a WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!" he screamed. The words stung, jerking tears out of my eyes. Mom glared at him.

"STEEL WING! DOWNSTAIRS NOW!" she screamed. Dad looked to mom, and the. Back to me. Giving me one last look of disdain, he did the worst thing a father could do to his little filly.

He spat on me.

And when I woke up I swore I could feel the warm goo on my forehead, taunting me, telling him how useless, how pathetic, how filthy, and how truly, truly awful I really am. Telling me I'll never have a real father who loves me.

Author's Note

New update. WHOOPDEE FREAKIN DOO.

May 31rst, 1,004

I cowered back into the bathroom and closed the door. I heard an exasperated moan. There was a rapping at the door, and I heard Discord begin to sing.

"DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAAAAAN?!" he sang.

"NO!" I scrambled out the doorway and glared at Discord.

"Do you think this is a joke?! Ponies are DEAD and it's MY FAULT!" I said, on the verge of tears. Discord cocked his head, almost like a confused puppy.

"But...I was the one who caused the fire." Discord said. I let my gaze soften.

"I'm the mare you went to such lengths to protect." I said. Discord's confused expression melted into one of sympathy. His tail coiled around me, and the cotton like tip stroked my face gently, banishing newly formed tears. He drew his face close to mine. I pulled away.

"I...I have nothing to say..." I said. Discord shook his head.

"Yes you do." I turned to him in surprise.

"What?" I said. Discord nodded.

"You have words, Fluttershy. Remember that." he said. I simply stood there, breathing heavily.

"I...there's so much rage and confusion inside me, I feel like I could explode..." I said. Discord nodded.

"Then do it. Explode." he said. I hastily shook my head. Discord lifted his paw and spawned a fluffy pillow.

"Kick this as hard as you can." said Discord, throwing it in my direction. I inhaled and lifted my hoof. I held it back, preparing to swing it as hard as I could. I swung, and my hoof made impact. The pillow moved an astounding two feet. Discord sighed and shook his head.

"That's...aggressive for you, I guess. Clearly you need time to heal. If you need me, give me a shout. And remember, you have words." and with that, he was gone. I stood there for a while. I closed all my windows, drew all the shades, and made sure the door was locked. And I sang.

And you know what? I felt better.

Author's Note

We gonna make a fire, fire, fire, and we gonna let it burn, burn, burn I dont now, just pretend the lyrics are changed to fit a pony, I guess.