Calamity in Equestria

by Dr Calamitas

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Dark, Human, Anthro
Length: 2990

Dr. Calamitas the newly appointed Lord of Calamity... Has been summoned to Equestria. How will this go for everypony else?

Dr. Calamitas the newly appointed Lord of Calamity… Has been summoned to Equestria. How will this go for everypony else?

(So if this seems to be funny I may add the comedy tag later also constructive criticism is welcomed.)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-19 05:02:35 UTC

First Contact

     "Officer Peters!"

     "Y-yes sir?"

     "Do we have all things accounted for in lock up?" The detective asked his assistant.

     "Y-yes sir, Detective Bungalon..." Peters answered. He checked over the the list one more time just in case.

     "What exactly was found at the base?" The detective walked over to the mirror that had been hung by his last assistant. He looked at the gruff looking face in the mirror. With it's short sandy blonde hair and the light stumble across his face. His light blue eyes peering deep into the face in the mirror. He adjusted his vest, and blue tie and adorned his long tan trench coat.

     "Well... Just his usual outfit... The lab coat, white business shirt, his red tie, the smart shoes, and the black dress pants." He continued. "Then we found the weirder stuff. His gas mask and robotic gloves." To this Bungalon turned to face the cadet. He walked over to his desk and fixed the name plate. "Chris Bungalon" it read.

     "You managed to get a hold of the gloves?" He asked with a hint of surprise.

     "Um- well it's a bit more complicated than that... Sir. You see Johnson... Tried to pick them up and he was electrocuted." He finished.

     Detective Bungalon waited for Peters to continue and tell what had happened to Johnson but he never said.

     "And... What happened to Johnson?"

     "Well, you see... He um... His eyeballs sorta exploded and then his brain melted out of his noise... Then His head sorta exploded." He shied away as if Bungalon would become upset. Now to say he didn't would be lying. His eye began twitching and just sat in his chair. He opened a drawer to his desk and pulled out his custom python revolver. It's wooden handle had the letter C and B on it.

     "Just out of curiosity, where would the good doctor be?" He asked.

     "I'm not truly sure sir." He answered.

     Just then a large explosion shook the building and forced the detective and the cadet out of their chairs. The windows shattered and glass was thrown all around the room. Peters stumbled to find a corner while Bungalon tried to look where his revolver had gone. Across the room under a cabinet lay his gun. He quickly crawled across the room while tiles from the ceiling fell all around him.

     He managed to pick up his gun and take shelter under his desk. Eventually the shaking had stopped but he stayed under his desk for a moment waiting for anything else. Nothing else seemed to happen, but the smell of smoke was notable.

     "HEY BUNG-HOLE!!!" A voice rang out from outside

     Bungalon could only grumble and slowly move toward his now open window and peer outside. It was a nice and sunny day, aside from the fire and smoke filling the sky. A man standing on top of some sort of armored truck had just started adjusting his gas mask when he noticed the detective near the window. He picked up one of the gloves and began to put it on.

     "I heard you stole my stuff. So I kindly asked your lively friend Johnson if I could get it back..." He finished and began putting on the other glove. "Seriously though, you might need to take Johnson to the hospital he doesn't seem to be doing so good." He laughed maniacally to himself.

     "I had to send the my biggest man to go take back my base... And good o'l Steven has been driving me around trying to get here."

     A small scrawny man poked his head out the window and tried to fix his naturally messy hair. "DON'T SAY MY NAME!!!" He shouted.

     Calamitas turned to look at his assistant. "It's not like y-" a bullet hide the top of the vehicle next to him. He turned back to the window to see Bungalon sitting in the window aiming the gun at them. With his gloves now fully on he hopped of the roof of the vehicle and got into the vehicle. He poked his head out the window for a second and another bullet was shot, abruptly ending his next sentence. He just shouted from inside.

     It's been fun Bung-Hole but I've got to go clear out my base again so... FUCK YOU LOSER!"

     The vehicle shot out of the parking lot like a rocket. Bungalon jumped out the window and rolled on the landing. He rushed across the lot and hopped into his cruiser and hit the gas pedal. He shot into traffic and barely missed a school bus. He saw the armored vehicle turn left towards the upper part of the city. He made a hard left cut through a construction site. He drove under a crane holding a wrecking ball and through the building in construction. He swerved past pillars and workers as he made his way out of the area. The shortcut had managed to catch him up the target.

     He pulled up closer to the rear and pulled out his gun and pointed towards the back when a hatch opened up. Dr. Calamitas had appeared and picked up a large rocket launcher. He aimed the barrel towards the car and began shouting.

     "You know... You could've just let me be. But I'm kinda glad you didn't."

     He gripped the trigger and was ready to pull.

     "See you in hell Chrissy..."

     Before he had the chance to fire, Bungalon shot out one of the tires to the vehicle. The rubber popped and the rim began forcing them to skid and slide. Calamitas lost his grip on the launcher, and accidentally fired towards the sky. It made contact with the news chopper that had been trailing them for a while. The armored truck lost the remaining traction and rammed into the convention center. Calamitas crawled out of the vehicle and looked towards the now stationary police cruiser. He hesitantly ran inside the convention center.

     The detective turned on the radio to see if they what was left of the police force had issued any back-up. The news had been reporting the entire event up until the chopper had crashed.

     "It seems that the terrorist 'Dr. Calamitas' has struck again. Seemingly only attacking the police station as of now. However just moments ago he had shot down our chopper in action. We will be reporting live as it happe- wait hold on... It seems that what's left of the police force is on there way to the convention center where it seems local hero Detective Chris Bungalon has cornered him. It will take a few minutes for the back-up to arrive. This is Miracle City News standing by..."

     He turned off the radio and loaded his revolver to its fullest and cautiously made his way to the now abandoned truck. He had remembered that there'd been another person occupying the vehicle. He inched closer and looked inside. He saw the boy sitting upside-down not daring to make a single move.

     "You! Come out quietly with your hands up! " Bungalon demanded.

     The boy inside sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt. Which led to him falling on his head. He climbed out of the vehicle complaining about how he didn't sign up for this. Bungalon pulled out a pair of hand-cuffs and subdued "Steven". The detective stood and looked around to see the on-lookers watching the scene unfold. He just noticed the people streaming from the center screaming. Men, women, and children he only just noticed they seemed to be wearing an odd brand of clothing. Then, a stereo typical lethargic man wearing a tight cyan shirt, with styrofoam wings taped to his back and a rainbow wig. Which was odd considering that the hair on his neck was terribly painted into a rainbow.

     He grabbed the detective by the shoulders and started shouting warnings. "We can't love and tolerate that much bitterness!" Then promptly ran like a small child flailing his arms around.

     After watching the man leave he slowly looked at the large banner hanging over the ruined entrance of the convention center. "Bronycon..." He read aloud.

     The bathroom door burst open and Dr, Calamitas stumbled in panting heavily. He ran over to the mirror and took off his gas mask. Blood trickled down his forehead along with sweat. His light brown hair slightly stained with blood and his brown eyes seemed distracted. He stared into the mirror as a stall door slowly opened and a muscular man wearing a pink shirt with a poofy pony wig stepped out. He reached forward to grab the doctor by the shoulder but before he could be a hold, a humming noise buzzed in the air as a robotic hand reached out and grabbed the man by the face. The room grew even more bright as light blue sparks shot from the glove.

     Smoke came off the man's face as his skin seemed to slowly melt away. The man twitched furiously thrashing the doctors hand trying to pry himself free, but to no avail. Eventually the twitching stopped and the light faded but he still held his head in his hand. Breathing heavily he reached towards his side and found blood. A peace of metal from the truck had stuck itself in his arm. He let go of the man who fell to the floor. His skull now visible with the skin having been fried.

     Calamitas slowly trudged over to the nearest wall to lean on. He slid down and sat staring at the ceiling. He calmly reached for the piece of metal and gripped it tightly. He grit his teeth and forced his eyes shut. He began pulling as he could feel the piece of metal slowly ripping the whole and causing blood to spew forth. He stifled a scream and ripped it out. He fell to his side and threw the metal shard across the room. He simply clutched his wound and shut his eyes. His breathing growing shorter. Eventually his chest stopped it's repetitive motion of rising and falling and ceased all together.

     The bathroom was quiet, two still bodies lying there completely motionless. The only sound coming from inside was that of a commode flushing. A young looking man stepped out with white hair and a white scraggily beard. His eyes where a yellow color while his irises where red. He wore a brown leather jacket that seemed to be ripped halfway down the sleeves. He wore a golden gauntlet on his left hand that had talons on each finger. His other arm had a fur sleeve that had cat like palms.

     His brown pants only went down halfway before each leg split into other pants. The right seemed to be a tan looking cargo jeans with a black boot. His left pant leg was stitched on ending up into green jogging pants, he wore a white loafer on that foot. His belt was a maroon color and it seemed hang down in the back to seem like a tail. He had a pair of wings sticking out from the jacket, they sat closely to his back. His swagger had shown that he wasn't the type to care much. He whistled as he passed the dead bodies and opened the door to leave. His whistling stopped as he stood in the door.

     He stepped backwards as the door shut, his mouth still in the whistling formation. He looked upon the dead bodies first to the one without a face. Then to the one who had bled to death. He looked over the one without a face.

     "Hmm... That ones too far gone..." He turned to the next body and bent down. He examined the body and eventually came to the conclusion that he could be useful. He stood and raised his left hand and, then just snapped his fingers. The wound on the body healed magically and the doctor's eyes shot open. He gasped for breath and started feeling his face. He looked at the floor and found the pool of blood. He looked at the ceiling and raised his fist and furiously shook.

     "HA!!! YOU WON'T BE TAKING MY SOUL TODAY NICOLAS CAGE!!!"

      He looked up at the man who seemingly saved his life and raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

     The man chuckled. "Actually yes..."

     "Sorry but if it's about your clothes... Sadly I can't assist, but I am digging the 'Macklemore's grandfather' look."

     The man's eye twitched and he cackled to himself. "No no friend... I helped you with your little death situation, so later I'm going to need you to help me." He flared his now noticeable wings. "Don't worry I'll find a way to get a hold of you..." He snapped his fingers and just... Disappeared. After a minute of getting through his "mind-fuckary" he cautiously stood and reach for his gas mask. He looked down one last time at the dead body.

     "Bronies..." He mumbled in aggravation then stumbled on out the door.

     Bungalon came across several unconscious victims until he made it to the convention hall. He looked around at the empty chairs and cautiously walked forward. A moment later good o'l Dr. Calamitas stumbled through the side exit and stared at the now on guard detective. Neither moved an inch, neither spoke... Until a giant bald beast of a man wearing a white tank top with giant hammer and sickle tattooed into his arm. He charged towards the detective but Bungalon rolled to the side. The giant Russian man rammed into the stage and fell to the floor.

     Calamitas just glanced over the laying heap of meat and sighed. "Good help is so hard to find these days, wouldn't you agree?"

     Bungalon's deadpan would've torn a hole through any sane person would be crippled on the spot. Not for the doctor though...

     "Come quietly and your sentence may only be... Three hundred and fifty four years." Bungalon gave one last warning.

     Calamitas slapped his knee and bent over laughing. He held his stomach and laughed for minutes. When he stopped he just looked at the detective and explained. "Oh detective... You and I both know that won't be happening..."

     The sides of Bungalon's mouth turned upwards. "You know... I'm kind of happy you opted for the difficult option. Johnson was a good friend of mine..." He pointed the gun towards the doctor's head. Just then sirens started blaring outside. "The rest of the police will be here in a minute..." Calamitas slowly raised his hands and formed a finger gun. He bent his finger and mouthed the word "bang".

     A bolt of electricity shot from his fingertip and struck the chair next to the detective. Bungalon held up his arms to defend himself but was tackled to the ground. Metal fists hit his forearms as he guarded his face. Each hit sending an electric shock through his body. Any more of this would be his end. He managed to get a footing on the doctor's leg and kicked it as hard as possible.

     Calamitas stumbled backwards and tried to regain his ground but was immediately bashed over the head with a chair. He crumbled to the floor. Bungalon dropped the chair and stomped on his chest. He tried it again but his foot was grabbed, he could feel the hum of electricity building around him he back stepped and managed to get free. He scanned the floor looking for his gun. It was in under a seat on the other side of the room.

     He took a step forward before here the grunting sound from behind. He ducked and just saw a bolt of electricity fly above his head hitting an amp on the stage. It exploded and sent chairs flying. The stage had caught fire and it was spreading quickly. The entrance the the grand convention hall's entrance had been cut off by burning chunks of the ceiling. Pieces of wood landed on top of the detective. He couldn't move he was at the mercy of Calamitas.

     Calamitas crawled over to Bungalon and stood over him triumphantly. His gas mask was ripped and burned so he had taken it off.  "You know... You always were a bit lackluster as a hero... I dearly hope that wasn't..." Dark circles formed under his eyes. "SHOCKING!!!" Bungalon cringed from how "fucking abominable" that joke was. "Well I guess this is goodbye-" he was stopped as a giant white hole ripped through the air and began pulling Calamitas toward ps it.

     "What?! NO!!!" While he was being lifted into the air it looked like his clothes were being burned off. Once he was fully inside the portal closed and with it's closing it sent a shockwave of air that put out the fire. Bungalon sit under the pieces of wood unable to move. Confused as all hell, waiting for the rescue team to come and help. He wondered if it was finally over and if the annoyance of Calamitas was finally gone. Unfortunately he realized that it was too good to be true and that he'd be back in a weeks time.

     "And now we play the waiting game..." He mumbled to himself.

     A white light opened up and spit out an ape like creature. Everyone in the room stopped dead in their tracks. The creature stood and looked around. "Ugh... Where-" he saw the dragon like creature and his eyes widened. "No..." He looked around again and noticed ponies standing around looking ready for a fight. "FUCKING BRONIES!!!"