What is a Filly to Do

by Definition

Rating: teen
Tags: Snips, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Romance, Snails
Length: 4868

The best and worst part of growing up is romance. I hate it but, colts give out free stuff just for you to hang with them. So, I'm not going to complain.

After my first heat I started to view colts a little differently. But, I'm not colt crazy. I wished I could say the same for my fellow crusaders. A little slip up on my part has gotten the three of us shanghaied into dates we don't want. It would have been just me but as a crusader we have to have an all for one, one for all mentality. Either that or I'm just mean.

Teen aged Crusaders. You are warned.

Published 2014-01-27 02:50:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-12 00:23:17 UTC

The Dare

School was always boring and that was a fact that wasn't going to change. It did become very funny for a short while as some of my class mates started to experience the blunt end of nature's joke. The first filly to feel the heat was Apple Bloom. And let me tell you, she tried to satisfy that itch with all the intensity of a true crusader. And just like a true crusader, she fell short of the mark.

The next victim was Diamond Tiara. She became a hot mess when a colt so much as looked at her. Colts that she teased wouldn't even give her the time of day. Sure they were drawn to her like flies to poop but before they could do anything they could regret they remembered her rose had way too many thorns. After her heat Rumble started to hang around her, which was teeth grindingly annoying because I was sort of crushing on him.

It went like that for a while and I loved it, except for the whole Rumble thing. Suddenly, I wasn't the odd one out. I was graceful. I was oddly sort of popular with the colts. They liked me because they didn't feel funny around me. Even other fillies who hadn't yet experienced the burn thought I was cool; in every sense of the word.

Sooner or later I knew that my number would be up. Then it happened. And you know what; I don't see why it was such a big deal. Sure, places that don't usually feel warm was uncomfortably hot. Kind of like sitting my rump on a hot stove. And I did feel a little more drawn to the colts in class. I may or may not have even propositioned a few. What is a filly to do? Then it was over and by then I was so over it.

What I didn't expect was the lasting feelings that my fellow fillies had for the colts in class. Suddenly, you weren't cool unless you had a coltfirend. I never cared for any of that mush stuff. I wished I could say the same for mis amigas.

"It's not fair!" whined AB. I rolled my eyes and continued to read the latest exploits of Daring Doo.

Rainbow Dash told me it was the best one yet. And if she said it was than it had to be. My ear twitched as I heard Spike move the ladder. Looking up I saw him climb the ladder to dust the next section of books. He always worked from the top down. And any pony could get a good look at his tight little lizard flank. Spike wasn't my type but he was cool. In an exotic and sexy—

"Stupid hormones," I hissed under my breath.

The unicorn sitting opposite of me raised her head up from her book before flashing me a devilish grin. Cheerilee told us that puberty could change a pony. I figured she just meant the sexy bits but it also tweaked personalities too. In Sweetie Belle's case, it gave her a new confidence; a confidence that thankfully didn't stretch into the realm of colts. I like the improved Sweetie because she was a little less whiney and a little more fun.

"I heard you," she said while still wearing her grin. Her horn lit up as she pulled something from her bag. It didn't take me long to see what she was fishing out as she levitated a little mirror up to eye level. A slight blush ran across her cheeks before she placed it back in her saddle bags.

"You sly minx, you," I purred, tying to fan the heat on her face into a larger flame.

It worked like a charm.

"How come mean old Diamond Tiara can get a coltfriend and we can't?" said Apple Bloom before slamming her hoof down on the window seal, making a cringe worthy sound echo through the library. Rolling my eyes, I returned to my book.

"Rumble?" I asked.

"Yeah," she answered despondently.

It nagged at me, how a bitch like Diamond could get a coltfriend; much less the best coltfriend. How she managed to manipulate Rumble into dating her was beyond me. I always took him as a cool pony. I guess I was wrong.

"Ahem!"

Looking up I saw that Spike was no longer on the ladder. He was right behind Sweetie. The handsome little—well he wasn't so little anymore —drake looked at the three of us with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you want, Slick?" I asked coyly. He puffed out his chest.

"This is a library," he said as he looked over me, giving AB a glare. I didn't have to turn around to know that AB was flush faced. It is always bad to get told off. The heat radiated from behind me, as I felt her glow like one of those old tube radios.

"Sorry," she said lowly.

Spike relaxed and then smiled at her, "Look I don't mind you being loud but Twilight makes the rules and one of those is keeping it down during work hours."

He didn't stay long. It's not like I wanted him to stay. It wasn't that I didn't want him to stay either. Watching him go I couldn't help but gaze at his rump again. Stopping in place, he looked over his shoulder.

"Hey, where can I get a mirror like yours, Sweetie?" he said playfully.

Sweetie turned a shade of red that I don't think even painters see that often before she slammed her book shut and ran towards the door.

"Bwhahaha," I bellowed, as I leaned back in my chair. I kept laughing and my sides started to hurt. Spike joined in on the laugher at our friend's expense. I wasn't paying attention and I felt something brushing past my ears.

What followed was a sound more felt than heard; at least it was for me as the back of my chair hit the floor. I watched as my back hooves that were below me passing over me as I flipped back finally coming to rest on my belly.

A new round of laughter filled the library. I swiveled my ear noticing that Sweetie was still with us as her crystalline laughter resonated in the room like a concert hall.

A small creak from the stairwell caused all of us to look up to see the resident librarian. She didn't look very happy about the noise. A shiver ran down my spine as her eyes shifted to me. Her purple peepers held an ice cold brilliance that chilled me to the bone.

"Girls!" she said shrilly before she looked at Spike, who was now rubbing the back of his head, "Spike!"

I heard him gulp as she descended the stairs, her tail cascading out behind her like a wedding train. I thought that I had grown but she really had grown. Ever since she became a princess she had started to change. It was very subtle at first but now as she descended with a wrathful look I could see that she was taller than Big Mac.

"Yes, Miss Twilight?" We said in unison followed by a somber, "Yeah?" from Spike.

Lifting a hoof to her mouth she cleared her throat. Hear it comes. To my surprise and to the surprise to all present, her face softened and then she laughed.

Spike let out a nervous chuckle as did Sweetie and AB. Me on the other hoof I was confused. Twilight covered her mouth again with her hoof as her laughter died down to a snigger.

"I know the rules say that you're supposed to be quiet in the library but, you are all my friends so I'm not going to kick you out or anything for being a little loud," she said as she strolled over to the table we were using.

She eyed the book that I was reading before she rolled her eyes, "Just like Rainbow Dash."

Pulling myself up from the floor I puffed my chest out and spread out my wings. There was no way that her comparing me to the most awesome, most cool, most spectacular mare around wasn't a compliment.

"You know that she reads books other than Daring Doo, don't you?"

"Well... um"

Twilight levitated a book over to me and dropped it into my open hooves. I looked it over and then read the cover, "Tip of the Sword: The Turbulent Mind of Captain Hurricane."

"You wouldn't know it but Rainbow loves to read about the past. She really likes to read about pre-equestrian history and how the pegasi were before they adapted to living amongst the other tribes," said Twilight with a squee, "she gives me somepony to talk to about that historical era."

I pressed the book against my chest before giving her a hopeful smile, "Can I check it out?"

Her smile widened, "Yes you may."

I did a hoof pump before I place it into my saddle bag along with the newest Daring Doo book. I turned up to see that Sweetie's cheeks were burning again.

Twilight had two books in her magical grasp. One was the one I remembered Sweetie reading the other I didn't recognize. Twilight had an eye brow raised. Raising her hooves to cover her face, Sweetie let out a, "meep!"

Spike must have noticed it too as a blush covered his scales.

"What kinda book is that?" asked AB as she walked over.

Twilight sat the large book on the table. The smaller book shook a little in her grasp as her face lit up too, "This is the Camel Sutra a book that should have been locked away in the adult section," she said as she shot Spike a hard look.

"Well, you see," muttered Spike while bringing his fingers together.

"It's mine!" shouted Sweetie, as she tried to pull it away from Twilight with her own magical aura. The princess's hold held firm as she gave Sweetie a look that even I could tell meant, "Really?"

Twilight opened the book. After a few moments of turning it over she returned it to Sweetie, "Oh, I see. It is yours."

Pressing it against her chest Sweetie gave Twilight a sour look. Twilight dropped her head and then walked back towards the stairs wearing a flustered look. A moment later we heard the door to her bedroom slam.

Things returned back to normal. Well as normal as three hormone addled teens could be and one hard working drake.

After righting the chair, I drummed my hooves on the table having reached my reading quota for the day. Sweetie wouldn't even look me in the eye. And all AB would do was sigh. Reaching into my saddle bags I pulled out a piece of paper and started to fold it into a paper hoofball.

AB sighed.

I turned in my seat to see that she now had a book in her hoof but she kept glancing out of the window every few seconds. She chewed the inside of her lip.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked lowly, "Am I ugly or something?"

The yellow filly didn't look like herself. She looked tired and angry; a scary thing for any apple to be. "There's nothing wrong with you AB. It's just you're too cool for the colts in school. Heck if I was a colt I would date the heck out of you as long as you promised to not do anything too mushy."

"I know you would," she said with a weak smile.

"I would too," added Sweetie.

AB sniffed, "Right now I wished I wasn't so cool. Heck right now I would say yes to Snips or Snails if they asked me out."

A loud thwack came from Spikes direction. I looked over at him and noticed he was mouthing something.

"Ugh," I said pretending to gag, "Those two are least cool colts in school. Snips smells funny and Snails is an egg head."

"Hey, Snips and Snails aren't as bad as the two of you make them out to be," roared Spike as he stomped over to our table. He brought his hand down hard on our desk. I must have struck a chord and made him mad if his heaving chest was any indicator of emotion.

A loud pop later I was staring not only at Spike but also Twilight.

"What's wrong with egg heads?" asked Twilight while raising a brow.

"Uhm... there is nothing wrong with egg heads," I said in a feeble voice.

Spike looked over at Twilight with a wicked grin. She looked back at him with wide eyes. I felt something. I didn't know what it was but it wasn't good. They were scheming that much I could tell.

"If there is nothing wrong with egg heads then I dare you to ask Snails out," said Spike as he rocked back on his heels.

My mouth dropped open. I would never stoop so low as to ask Snails out. I didn't even like colts like the other fillies did. Sure they were fun to hang out with but that was it. Even with my more recent developments I wasn't colt crazy. I couldn't turn down a dare either. I can't wasn't in my vocabulary. A plan formed in my head.

"If I go out with Snails then AB has to go out with Snips," I said with a smile, no sense in only me getting thrown under the carriage.

"WHAT!" screamed AB as I heard her stomp my way. Twilight backed up as AB glared at me not an inch from my muzzle.

"You got to be kidding me!" she added.

I smiled bigger, "Nope!"

Spike laughed at the two of us.

"And Spike you have to take Sweetie out too!" I said as I pointed to Sweetie.

Spike turned red all over and then he looked over to Twilight, "Do I have too?"

Giggling into her hoof Twilight said, "It's only fair."

Choking on Tongue: Not What You Think

I had several opportunities to "Ask" Snails out during the first few hours of school. I could have asked him when we were put in the same activity group during our science class. Needless to say I didn't say a dang thing other than what I had to.

Looking over at AB, I noticed the almost frantic look in her eyes as she started to sweat bullets. Snips was always a little weird but he seemed to be even more so today. The green colt kept talking about weaponizing flatulence. It was my fault.

"And I thought Mac was bad," said AB as she fanned her nose trying to drive away the stink.

"What did you eat?" asked Snips as his snorting laughter started to die down. I looked over at Snails to see what he was going to say but, the colt kept a straight face.

"I ate mexicolt, okay," I groaned wanting the conversation to shift to something that didn't make me look or smell so un-cool, "mexicolt can make any pony a little gassy."

"Not me," said Pipsqueak as he lit up the Bunsen burner with a match, "But I'm one-eighth mexicolt."

"What are you not?" I asked. Pip had this irritating habit of saying he was so many parts of this ethnic or cultural group to explain his abnormally wide skill set. That colt could do just about anything given time. He could dance to just about every type of song. He could sing. He could act. He could play paint ball really well. About the only thing he couldn't do was—

"Hey, Dinky would you like to go with me to the movies this Saturday?" he asked without batting an eye.

We all grew quiet.

"As friends?" she asked shyly.

"If that is what you want but, I was thinking more of a date if that is alright with you" he added while he squeezed the eye dropper between two hooves, letting a drop of one of the chemicals we were working with fall into the beaker.

"Um..." Dinky raised a hoof to cover her rose red cheeks.

"My lady would you do me the honor of allowing me to take the movies," he said in a deeper voice while trying his best to bow in his chair, "I'll buy the caramel popcorn you like so much!"

"Yes," she answered with a squee almost jumping from her seat.

I gagged and looked away from the blushing new couple. I stand corrected, he can do anything. While Snips and Snails were talking with Pip about his new fillyfriend, I felt a hoof wrap around my neck. The next thing I know I'm face to face with AB.

"If he can do it why can't we?" she hissed.

I rolled my eyes, "I don't know about you but the only thing holding me back is that I really don't want to ask him out in the first place."

"You're not trying weasel out of the dare are you?" she asked behind gritted teeth.

I sighed, "No."

"Okay then why don't you ask him then," she said while nodding her head his way.

"I will when I'm good and ready!" I answered with a snort before tuning her out.

Bloom crossed her hooves across her chest and refused to speak to me the rest of the period. Not that I minded too much. I love Bloom don't get me wrong. It's just ever since this little heat thing she has been a hooffull.

Lunch was no easer. She actually spent the entire break talking only to Sweetie. Practically ignoring my question and even after I apologized for giving her the cold shoulder. Sweetie kept shooting me daggers. I can't catch a break today.

Granddaddy long legs walked over to our table and stopped. This spider was a comic crazy flashy bulb menace named Featherweight. I don't have a bully bone in my body but he had enough stuff not going right with him that he was practically a walking advertisement for what could go wrong in adolescence and anypony with a mean streak could take their pick and drive him up the wall. He was tall and thin like a stick bug, he had the worst case of acne Ponyville had ever seen, and he had a set of buck teeth that could make Colgate actually measured his teeth to see if it was a world record as well as have every rabbit within a thirty mile radius bowing down to him like he was a god.

"What do you want, Featherweight?" I asked without looking up from my nachos. He didn't say anything; he just set his tray down at our table. Needing somepony to talk to since my usual friends were currently not talking to me, I looked up to see that he looked like he needed cpr or something. The colt was red. No, red didn't cover it. He was glowing like one of those light bulbs that warmed the plants that Pinkie Pie grew for some kind of special ingredient for her super duper hungry honeybuns.

"Featherweight?'

The colt just got up and left his tray without saying a word. I worried about him for a moment before I spotted his uneaten nachos and cheese.

"Waste not, want not," I said as I filched it from his tray.

The next contender for most awkward came in the form of Button Mash, and boy was the form good. He wasn't what I would I would consider attractive but he could be fun. Going to his house was better than going to the arcade. Arcades have rules about keeping the amount of blood down to a minimum on the games they possessed. The house of Mash was full of monstrous levels of blood, guts, and gore. His own brand of flash games were just as bloody. And he had came a long way from the mild asthmatic we first met a couple of years ago. Now he could keep up with Sweetie. No pony could keep up with me accept other pegasi with the lone exception of Bloom, who had been faltering lately.

"How are you today, fillies?" he asked all the while wringing his hat in hooves like he was trying to squeeze water from it.

Sweetie and Bloom shot me yet another hard look before turning their attention towards Button.

"The best day so far," answered Sweetie while flashing a coy grin and leaning closer to him. I watched as beads of sweat popped up on his forehead.

"Horrible," wined Bloom.

His attention fell from Sweetie as he plastered on a face of concern, "Horrible? Is there anything I can do to help?"

Bloom sighed, "not unless you could ask Snips out for me." I smirked as Button hopped up from his seat and made his way across the lunchroom. Bloom wasn't following until Button started to talk to Snips and Snails.

This was going to be good.

The three colts talked back and forth for a couple of minutes only stopping to look at us or more specifically Bloom.

"He did it. I can't believe he did it," stammered Bloom. Sweetie just sat their wide mouthed as Button escorted Snips back to our table.

The green colt pawed at the ground shyly before he cleared his voice, "You want to go out with me, Bloom? Really?"

Giving him a half smile she replied, "Yeah."

Snips got really quiet for a moment before climbed up on the seat next to me and then he clambered onto the table.

"MARES AND GENTLE COLTS! THE PRITTIEST FILLY IN SCHOOL JUST AGREED TO GO OUT WITH ME! AM I GREAT AND WONDERFUL OR WHAT!" He yelled at the top of his voice.

I thought it was incredibly cheesy but Bloom ate that crap up. Several students clapped and cheered. Others didn't care either way. And then there was Diamond, Silver, and Rumble. Diamond blinked a couple of time and then sneered.

I shook my head, Nothing good can come of this.

"You... you really think I'm the prettiest filly in school?" asked Bloom after he stepped off of the table and out of my nachos. Sweetie offered him a napkin to clean his foot off but he just shook his head no. The little horn head lit up his horn and pulled the cheese of his hoof and deposited right back on top of my nachos. Needless to say, it would be a while before I could eat nachos without thinking of Snips' hoof.

"You bet," replied Snips as he scooted over towards Bloom. I wanted to gag as they blushed at each other, which only got worse after Bloom wrapped her hoof around his and giggled.

"AWWWW ! Isn't that sweet," said Sweetie.

"Yeah, sure," was all I offered in response.

"So when are you going to ask Snails," asked Sweetie lowly.

"Never," I whispered.

"What are we talking about and why are we whispering," asked Button, who was still wringing his hat.

"Ugh, I'm not talking about it," I said as I pushed away from the table. After balancing my tray and the one Featherweight's on my back I walked over and put them away. Time, I needed time. Leaving the lunch room I visited the little filly's room and then looked up to the clock. I still had ten minutes and I can get a good bit of flying in ten minutes.

The air felt terrific, just what I needed to deal. It was mid may now and summer was just a few short weeks away and I was really looking forward to it. Dash had already scored the two of us some tickets to a Wonderbolts show the first weekend of June, which was flipping awesome. The only thing that kind of had me worried was that Dash asked if it would be okay if she brought someone else along. I asked her was this a friend or a friend? And she flew the coup on me. Bah what's it matter, Dash is awesome and she wouldn't bring a lame pony around anyways.

I flapped my wings harder and started to gain altitude. I flapped and flapped and flapped until I could feel my lungs burning from lack of oxygen. The deficit of air, i knew, was caused by a combination of muscle fatigue and the altitude. Pushing forward I felt it coming and I smiled. Stalling in mid air I turned and fell. The wind whistling in my ears, shattering all thought and all reason; nothing but the animal in me, nothing but adrenalin, nothing but what I could trust, my wings and the wind.

Landing softly in the warm grass I heard someone clapping. Turning and trying to hide my blush I spotted my fan. Leaning against one of the oaks that grew near the school was Snails. Shit!

"You liked that, huh!" I said before scratching the back of my head.

Not saying anything he walked towards me.

"I said you liked that, huh!"

Stopping a hoof shy of me he cocked his head and just looked at me. My eyes locked his and then he spoke his voice soft and dancing in warmth,

Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace.
The soul that knows it not Knows no release from little things:
Knows not the livid loneliness of fear,
Nor mountain heights where bitter joy can hear
The sound of wings.
How can life grant us boon of living, compensate
For dull gray ugliness and pregnant hate
Unless we dare The soul's dominion?
Each time we make a choice, we pay
With courage to behold the restless day,
And count it fair.

It was supposed to mean something, I knew that much. But, it eluded me. Looking at him as he wore that dopy smile I remembered what I needed to ask.

"Sweetie said you had something you needed to talk to me about something," he said before looking away.

Groaning I walked away. Why is this so bucking hard?

"Yeah, I need to talk to you about something I just don't know how to say it," I said before crushing one of the dandelions that always seemed to invade the school yards well manicured grass.

"Okay, then take your time and tell me when your good and ready," he said before I heard his hooves hit the grass and start to fade away.

"Hey, wait!" I shouted as I trotted back towards him.

Turning he raised an eyebrow, "Hmm?"

"I know that was a poem and all and I was wondering who said it,"

He scratched his chin for a moment and then he walked away.

"Hey! Did you forget about me?" I asked as I trotted up beside him.

"No, I didn't forget about you. But, I did forget who wrote that poem so I was going to go back to class to look it up. I know it is in one of the books I've got in my desk and I figured I would get back to you on that," he said blushing, "I forget stuff sometimes. I never forget where I read or heard something though."

"Oh, well then don't worry about it then. I don't want to put you through any trouble," I said with as I waved it off with a hoof.

"No, it matters," he said flatly.

The bell rang and I guess that was a good thing. I wasn't making any head way on asking him anyways.

Stopping in front of the door he turned to me, "So, Miss Bloom and Snips are going out Saturday."

Trying to push past him, I didn't want to talk about that right now. I was more focused on not being tardy.

Just as I started to make head way I was lifted from my hooves in a green glow.

"Hey what gives!" I hissed as he carefully put me down.

He mumbled an apology, "I was going to hang out with Snips Saturday night before him and Bloom became special someponies. I then thought about Spike but, Sweetie told me that he was going out with her Saturday night as well. So, I don't have anypony to hang out with and I was wondering if you would like to hang out with me. Seeing as our best friends are off doing the whole dating thing."

My mouth ran dry.

"So, do you want to hang out or something?"

This fixes everything. I can make it look like I'm on a date and it not really be a date. This is bucking perfect. I gave him a shy smile and then leapt forward and gave him a hug. Wrapping a hoof around me he returned the favor. Looking over his shoulder I spotted Sweetie and Bloom both looking smug so I decided I had lingered enough. Backing up I held up a hoof, "We cool?"

Snails smiled and then bumped my hoof, "We're cool."

Author's Note

Poem by Amelia Earhart.