WINTER

by RummyKun

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Random
Length: 2801

Winter time in Ponyville and we all know what happens when you mix it with an alicorn, a purple dragon and an entire town.

It's winter time and everything seems to be a hastle, the following is uncut and contains crude humor, harsh language, violence, and possibly spicy dialoge. Viewer discretion is advised

#WINTER

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-06 03:10:12 UTC

Day 1

The morning be like

"Spike wake up!" Twilight yelled at the sleeping little dragon.

"Let me fucking sleep, you on your period?" Spiked bitched.

Twilight then just went downstairs and started making pancakes. Spike shot out of his bed. "PAAAAANCAAAAAKES!"Spike shouted as he got to the table. He was drooling from the sweet smell of his favorite breakfast, fork and knife in his claws with a bib that says "i heart pancake" on it.

After Spike ate like 7 pancakes he ran outside like a fuckin' 6 year old going to play. He then tripped and fell down a hill. "Sorry Spike!" Yelled a orange filly on her scooter. Spike faceplanted into a huge pile of snow. He stood up and immediatly got pelted with snowballs after he heard "SNOWBALL FIGHT!!" He fell off the mound of snow and tumbled down yet another hill and rolled over twords town square. He hazily wandered through the street and then got hit by a streak of Rainbow going 150 mph low to the ground. Spike spun rapidly and then fell down another hill and tumbled into the Everfree forest. He kept walking in a daze and ran into a hut.

"Hello there young one, i see you're having fun." A zebra aid as she stepped out of the hut. "No more..." Spike said as he kept walking and fell down another hill.

"Fuuuuuck meeee!" He yelled as he tumbled.

Twilight started reading her book she had on her desk. "Hooo!" Owilisious hooted. "Who's at the door?" Twilight replied to her little owl. "Hooo hoo!" He hooted.

"What is she doing here this early?" Twilight asked. Owilisious cocked his head. "I don't know why, i was asking you." Twilight replied as she went downstairs. She opened the door and saw Zecora hauling Spike back in a wagon. "He tumbled down, so i took him homebound." She said as she returned Spike. Twilight face-hooved and looked over to Spike with a dissapointing look.

Back in town square an eager to sell filly and her sister were selling fresh hot apple pies. "Apple Bloom what are ya doin'?" Applejack asked. "I saw this on TV, i just have to spin this sign and get everypony's attention!" She said with delight. And just as she finished a small crowd formed and started to buy the pies, Apple bloom then tripped and the sign broke. "Okay, no sign twirlin' cutie mark.." She said as she slowly got up. She fixed her scarf and ran off to find her friends. She soon noticed Scootaloo with her own stand, she was selling Rainbow Dash merchandise and was going crazy trying to get everypony to buy them. She had rainbow scarves, Rainbow earmuffs even a bunch of drawings of Rainbow Dash, sadly all of the merchandise was made by her so it looked seriously sloppy...

"APPLEJACK!!!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she shot down to the ground. "Linkin Park Concert tonight!!" "Holy shit Dash ya don't have ta bust mah eardrum."

"Linkin park concert!" Rainbow dash said as she flew and broke that same window in golden oaks library.

After telling Pinkie, Derpy, Spike (who fell down another hill) and summoning Discord they went to the concert.

"(Singing Bleed it out by Linkin Park)" [can't put lyrics due to rules do LOOK IT UP DICKWAD]

"Linkin Park is fucking awesome!" Screamed a certain pink party pony.

"Hell yeah!" Yelled a cyan peagusis.

"Concerts are better than mailboxes!" Shouted a grey/blonde mailmare.

"Not bad." Said an interested purple alicorn.

"This shit rocks!" A small purple dragon shouted in joy.

"Tell me about it!" Said an odd draconeisis.

/After the concert/

"Dude that was awesome!" Spike said as he high-clawed Discord.

"Rainbow, i think ya had enough to drink.." Said a concerned Applejack. "Uuuuugh... Bitch you don't know nuffing, i uuuugh want morerer." Rainbow slurred.

"You drank all of it!" Applejack said in anger.

As they werewalking down the street they met a strange stallion who seemed to be jittering. "Is that Mike?" Twilight questioned as they got closer. "Hi Aaaah!" Mike screamed due to all of the  fucking coffee he been drinking. "Sup my main mo' fucka!" Spike said as he tripped and fell on the pavement.

Twilight grabbed spike and carried him back home. "See you guys later!" Twilight said as she went inside.

"Byeeeee!" Pinkie screamed as she zipped home. "Well alas, i must take off." Discord said as he vanished. "Shit... I dunno how Ima go...home.... Ugh!" Rainbow Dash complained to Applejack. "Dammit Rainbow, just ugh I'll let ya stay at th' barn." Applejack said in dissapointment at her best friend being a jackass. Secretly she was happy that she was helping Rainbow Dash, even though it can be a fucking hastle. Mike ran off back to his house like it was a fucking fire drill.

He crashed into his door and fell on his back, he slowly stood up and wobbled his way in. There was a lot of noise at his house that he woke up his neighbor Snowy.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE I'M TRYING TO SLEEP ASSHOLE!!" She screamed and went back to bed. "Man i need my pills..."

Snowy shut her windowand walked back over to her bed.

"I need to really lay off the alchohal, it's making me a complete bitch when I'm tired." She said and crawled into bed.

End of day 1!

Day 2

Day 2

Spike woke up quickly.

"Wow, i was knocked out after that awesome concert."

Spike went downstairs and helped Twilight organize a new shipment of books. After that Twilight got out another checklist.

"What's that list for?" Spike asked.

"Well thank you for asking, it's a checklist on high level spells that are almost impossible to do. Princess Celestia gave me a book to go with it. It looks a little wierd but i can cast the spells, but I can't read the inscriptions." Twilight explained to the little dragon. "By the way, why have you been acting so moody and grumpy lately?" She asked

"Dragon puberty." Spike responded quickly.

"I have a book on dealing with that." She said but she wouldn't need it now.

She is busy working on some spells.

"I'm gonna go outside!" Spike said as he put on a wool cap and scarf Rarity stitched him. "And I won't hurt myself today!"

---5 minutes later---

A knock was heard at the door and Twilight opened it and to her surprise nopony was out there. She looked around and then closed the door slowly. She turned around to go upstairs to her study but was stopped.

"So, you are the new "Princess" Sparkle?" A familiar voice said as she stepped forward. The mysterious stranger removed the hood on her cloak.

"Trixie!" Twilight said in anger, remembering all the shit she'd done to her and her friends.

"I'm not here to fight you..." Trixie said in a saddend tone.

"Trixie is here to seek forgiveness."

".....okay.." Twilight accepted hastily, knowing everpony deserves a seco- well a third chance. She let Trixie stay here.

"Trixie does not have a home." She stated with a tear in her eye.

Spike was in town square and saw a couple of fillies and colts gather up to Scootaloo's stand.

"Rainbow Dash merchandise? I knew she's her idol, but that's a lot more than admiration." Spike said to himself as he made his way over to Applejack's stand.

"Howdy Spike!" An orange farmpony yelled to him and he ran over.

"Hi AJ, do you have anything good?"

"I reckon' ya want some pie, er maybe some Sizzlin' cider? It'll warm ya right up!"

Spike got his pie and cider and gave AJ 9 bits.

"Bye AJ!"

"See ya'll later!" Applejack then got back to work.

Spike ran off home and ate his pie.

"Hey Scootaloo, what are you doing?" Rumble asked walking up to her stand.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She sarcasticly replied.

"It looks like your running a Rainbow Dash merchandise stand."

"Well, Rumble maybe I am, and maybe you should buy something." Scootaloo snooted.

Within moments a streak of rainbow bolted from the skyline.

"OMGOMGOMG!" Scootaloo screeched as Rainbow Dash flew down.

"Hey Squirt!" She yelled to Scootaloo and walked by looking at her booth and came to a stop.

"Is that me, in every single thing you have?"

"Yes, maybe."

"Okay, whatever." Rainbow Dash shot off into the distance.

"Well, bye!" Rumble ran off.

"...and to make it worse he divorced my mom because she became psychopathic, and...and my mom is in an insane asylum.." Trixie kept moping.

"We took Rarity to an insane asylum for a week, she went insane with power and tried to open an illegal sweatshop outside of town." Twilight said to lighten the mood as she listened to all of the shit Trixie was yapping about.

"What?" Trixie questioned.

"You thin she's perfect?" All of my friends have problems, even I have problems. In fact, Rainbow has ADHD, Pinkie keeps breaking 4th walls, Fluttershy is afraid of her own shadow, Applejack puts work before family and friends, Rarity is a neat-freak, Spike's going through dragon puberty, Derpy is accident prone, and I have aspergers." Twilight explained.

"SLEEP OVER!!!" A bunch of routy fillies yelled in unision.

"Don't make too much of a mess, we have class Sweetie Belle, we are not pigs." Rarity explained. Once she walked off the three fillies ran upstairs to Sweetie Belle's room.

"I invited some other friends too, they should be here any minute!" Sweetie Belle said with joy. In seconds there was a knock at the door.

"We're here!" Explained three more fillies as they came upstairs.

"Dinky!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

"Babs!" Apple bloom cheered.

"Twist?" Scootaloo was confused, Twist never sleeps over.

"I got the chips!" Dinky yelled.

"I got whatever this stuff is i found at Rainbow's house." Scootaloo held up the rum.

"Hey cous, haven't seen ya since the family reunion." Babs said hugging Apple bloom.

"I missed ya too!" Apple bloom yelled in joy.

Just downstairs a smashing noise wa heard as Rarity dropped a glass.

"Shit!" Rarity fumed as she cleaned up the mess.

"Did Rarity just yell Shit?"

"Ah have no idea what shit means."

"I think thit ith thomething to do with fecal matter."

"Didn't they say shit in that one movie that I saw with Apple Bloom?" Scootaloo asked.

"How about a game of TRUTH OR DARE!" Dinky said with a playfuly evil smile.

"Me first!" Sweetie Belle cheered.

"Scoots, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to skydive from my dresser wearing a rediculous outfit!"

Scootaloo was standing 10 feet up wearing a tiara and ducky slippers and fell off the dresser.

"Ouch!" Scootaloo winced in pain.

"Alright...Dinky, truth or dare?"

"Truth?"

"Who's your dad?"

"Actually, even I have no idea... Okay... Maybe i should ask my mom later."

"Apple bloom, truth or dare?"

"Hmm...maybe a truth."

"Who do you have a crush on?"

Apple Bloom froze up and started to sweat in anxiety.

"Umm...well....uhh..." Apple Bloom stumbled over her words and fell down face first from where she was sitting.

"Okay... Well that was akward... Babs seed truth or-" dinky was interupted.

"Dare!"

"I dare you to get a make-over from Sweetie Belle."

"That don't seem hard."

Sweetie Belle was not good at make-up at all.

Babs looked in the mirror and saw she had a green face, glittered nostrils, and a poofy mane.

"Alrighty, yo Scoots truth or dare?"

"Truth... Dares hurt."

"Tell me 'bout it. Okay who you got a crush on?"

"I don't know." Scootaloo kept her secret, and Apple Bloom regained conciousness.

"Alright, Twist your turn."

"I pick dare."

"I dare you to sing a song to Rarity."

/20 seconds later/

"Well?"

"Thee thaid to thtay up thtairs."

Scootaloo tried to hold back a giggle.

"Alright Thweetie Belle truth or dare?"

"Truth, i guess."

"Who do you have a cruth on?"

"Well I do have my eye on that colt Button Mash..."

"Can't believe we gota real answer." Babs said in shock. They kept going until one by one, they all fell fast asleep.

  End of Day 2

Day 3 (the quest begins)

Day 3

Apple Bloom slowly woke up.

"I see you're awake." Scootaloo whispered.

"Yeah..." Apple Bloom started. "About last night... when the one question sprung ah did have an answer, ah jus' didn't wanna tell ya that i love ya... I thought it would creep ya out."

Before Apple Bloom couldsay anymore, her lips were locked with those of Scootaloo's. She closed her eyes as this moment seemed to be endless.

"I knew it!" Sweetie Belle teased.

Scootaloo and Apple bloom both started to blush.

Twilight woke up for the third time. Trixie would not stop snoring!

Trixie slowly woke up on the spare matress.

"Why the hell are there marker on my face?" She asked as she went to the mirror.

"You snore so loud and i tried throwing things at you, but you stayed asleep!" Twilight said partcialy asleep.

"I drew the moustache on your face." Spike said as he walked by.

"I wonder how the neighbors are doing?" Twilight mumbled to herself.

"Ah! Too much pressure, can't decide....on breakfast!" Mike said in stress.

Applejack was almost done plowing the snow on Sweet apple acres.

"Applejack!" A familiar voice shouted.

"Howdy Rainbow!" Applejack greeted.

Rainbow was up to something, AJ saw it in her eyes.

Rainbow snatched Applejack's setston and flew off.

"Gimme back mah hat ya varmin!!!" Applejack shouted as she chased down Rainbow Dash.

Applejack grabbed Rainbow by the tail and dragged her down.

"Fine you got me." Rainbow tossed the setston to AJ.

"Now, ya gonna pull that shit again, ah dun think so."

/meanwhile in the crystal mountains.../

"We will soon act our revenge..." A familiar dark voice said.

"But my queen, we are in few numbers!"

"Then we'll have to lure those fuckers here, won't we?"

"Ugh... Yes my queen."

"Excellent..."

"Twilight!" Pinkie yelled running through the door.

"Pinkie sences tingling! Mountain! Revenge! Danger!"

"Okay let's round up the rest."

"Can Trixie come too?" Trixie asked cautiously.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

"Okay Pinkie go get Rarity and Fluttershy! Trixie and I will get Rainbow Dash and Applejack!"

Pinkie saluted then ran off at a unusually fast pace.

Fluttershy was watering

her flowers and humming.

"Fluttershy!!" Pinkie grabbed Fluttershy and ran off twords carousel boutique.

"Bye!" Dinky yelled as she left, and Twist left next.

Pinkie was at the door in seconds dragging Fluttershy behind her.

"Where's Rarity? We need to go to the crystal mountains!!!"

"I'm right here, darling."

Pinkie grabbed Rarity then ran off yet again.

"Okay we're all here." Twilight anounced.

"Why the fuck are we going to the crystal mountians, it's cold already, I don't want to become a popsicle."

Rainbow complained.

"Ooh popsicles are yummy!" Pinkie spouted.

"Alright, we leave tomorrow morning. Get what you need and meet back here tonight."

"Yes, ma'am, Twilight, ma'am!" Pinkie saluted.

/2 hours later/

"Okay, now we need to get some rest." Twilight started. "I have set-up 8 sleeping bags for tonight."

"8? I thought there was 7 of us." Fluttershy whispered.

"Me, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Spike. That's seven." Pinkie counted.

"And me..." Trixie said as she walked into the room.

"Oh hell no!" Rainbow Dash was becoming angry.

"Oh hell yes, Rainbow, we need all the help we can get." Twilight said in a not very convincing tone.

"You don't seem sure of yourself, darling." Rarity said in concern.

"Maybe I am... maybe I'm not..." Twilight said.

Everypony gathered around the middle of the library with their sleeping bags. All their packs were set-up by the door along with some gear to protect them from freezing to death.

"Goodnight Fluttershy." Pinkie smiled and said pulling a stuffed squirrel out of her mane.

"Thanks Pinkie." Fluttershy said in return. She then fell asleep as Pinkie did.

As Trixie fell asleep Twilight casted a 9 hour mute spell on her to stop the loud snoring.

Rainbow Dash was whispering and talking to AJ. Spike was next to fall asleep leaning on Rarity. Rarity giggled and moved Spike's head back onto his pillow. Rarity then fell asleep. AJ and Rainbow hugged and fell asleep shortly afterward. But Twilight couldn't fall asleep, she kept worrying about what could be so dangerous that they all needed to go to the crystal mountains.

"I could see my brother after this, and Cadence too. Once this is all over i guess i can stop and say hello." Twilight smiled and slowly drifted off.

End of Day 3