The Royal Order

by Idiotcornball

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Sex, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5930

You have been selected to become the newly re-established Princess Luna's personal servant. And now it is time for you to perform your first royal duty.

You have been selected to become the newly re-established Princess Luna's personal servant. And now it is time for you to perform your first royal duty. You don't remember this ever being in the job description, but you're willing to oblige nonetheless.

For some reason I decided to take a swing at a 2nd person fic. Contains futa, but you probably guessed that seeing as I'm the one writing the story.

Published 2014-02-23 23:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-23 23:00:04 UTC

The Royal Order

Today has been a most unusual day. It started normally enough. Woke up in the barracks, ate an energy bar, showered, masturbated in the shower, dried off, put on your armor, and reported for duty. It got slightly less usual there, as you were assigned to be part of Celestia's personal escort to the Summer Sun Celebration, which this year is being held in some backwater town a short way from Canterlot. It only qualifies as slightly unusual because you've done this before; this is the third time you've been selected for this, and you know that it's going to require nothing more than standing very still while the Princess does her thing, and then continuing to stand still while the denizens of the town take pictures with you. Fortunately, you usually end up behind the Princess and get quite the view of her rump. It's most agreeable.

Once you got to Ponyville, though, things got really weird really quickly. Celestia got kidnapped, you got sucker-punched by a legendary specter of evil that you could've sworn was just a legendary Nightmare Night character. The rest of your platoon is never going to let you forget that. By the time you regained consciousness, you've discovered that five ponies from Ponyville plus the Princess's personal student had defeated Nightmare Moon, who turned out to actually be Celestia's long-lost sister Princess Luna. After a hastily-conceived but surprisingly well-executed party, you found yourself heading back to Canterlot, escorting not only Celestia, but Luna as well. You still aren't sure what to think.

Unbelievably, things got even stranger after that. There was a great scrambling in the castle as everypony and their grandma ran around trying to set up a suitable dwelling for the newly redeemed Princess Luna. You managed to avoid most of it by simply maintaining your post outside Celestia's office, ensuring that no one bothered the two princesses while they caught up with each other. Then the door opened, and Celestia and Luna emerge. Celestia addresses one of your compatriots, telling them to show Luna to her new chambers. But she points at you and beckons for you to follow her into her office. You obey.

At the moment you stand at attention, waiting for her to give you an order.

"At ease," she says. You relax a bit, but not too much, as you recognize that she has something for you to do. "First of all, do not feel any shame over what has happened today. Nightmare Moon was an opponent that I myself could barely defeat. You stood no chance. I must apologize for putting you through that."

For the next few minutes you go through all the motions of accepting the apology as graciously as you can manage. You know as well as she does that this wasn't the reason you were called here. Not that you aren't grateful that she has personally expressed her regret that you had to experience such a thing. But before long, she gets down to business.

"The reason I have called you here is because I have an important job for you. I need you to be Luna's personal bodyguard."

You raise an eyebrow. Celestia has bodyguards, but no personal bodyguard. And even the regular guards are more for crowd control than protection. Celestia is as powerful as dozens of guards. You can't imagine what use Luna would have for a bodyguard other than to keep other ponies from bothering her.

"First, you must recognize that the entire Nightmare Moon incident is the result of Luna being... possessed and corrupted by dark powers. But through the power of the elements of Harmony, those powers have been cast away. You have nothing to fear from her. The reason I selected you specifically is because I believe you can help to put her at ease. She is still unsure of herself, and the whole world is unfamiliar."

You nod. That should be easy enough.

"As a side effect of the Elements, she has not yet returned to her full level of power. As a result, she is weaker than she is accustomed to, and looks younger than the hundreds of years that she possesses. This is why she will, though only temporarily, require your service. It is possible, though unlikely, that there are those in Equestria who may not look so kindly on her, so until she regains her full power, I want you to keep an eye on her. It is as much for my peace of mind as for her protection."

You nod again. If anything it will make for a nice change of pace.

"Lastly, I must remind you that Luna has been... absent from Equestrian culture for a thousand years. Her... expectations may seem a bit odd to you. Nonetheless I must ask that you humor her for a little while, to help her ease into society. She has gone through a lot, and I want to make the transition as smooth as possible."

More nodding. That comprises most of the your actual job, after all. The two of you speak for a few minutes more, and shortly you find yourself introducing yourself to Princess Luna.

She seems nice enough. Certainly far better than all of that Nightmare Moon stuff. A bit curt, but that's only natural after how much she's been through. You exchange all the regular pleasantries, although even small talk is a bit difficult given the circumstances. Eventually a relevant question comes up.

"So, you are the guard my sister has assigned to us?"

You nod, obviously. And there's the royal "we" that Celestia mentioned. You've never heard it used seriously before.

"Indeed. We must admit that we are rather ashamed to appear before one of our subjects in this manner." She sighs as she looks at herself in the mirror. She certainly doesn't look as old as Celestia. Not that Celestia looks old in the slightest, but the Princess of the sun has a clear maturity. Luna doesn't seem to have it, at least not that you can see. She appears a good deal more demure, though not without some haughtiness in how she carries herself. Not unlike a spoiled child who has gotten in trouble, and is embarrassed for it, even with sincere regret. Even though you know that she was centuries old before you were even born, it is hard to think of her with that age; she seems far closer to a young mare, experiencing the first taste of adulthood. The bobbed mane and general smallness of figure made her appear quite cute, all things considered. Almost a filly-next-door sort of presence, despite being centuries older than you.

"We suppose then, that you will accompany us until our power returns."

Nod. Your neck is going to be sore if this keeps up.

"Very well," she says. "We ought be happy." She raises an eyebrow. "If your performance matches your appearance, we believe we shall get along quite well."

You aren't quite sure what she means by that, and you are at a loss for a response. You nod.

"We shall not require much of you tonight," she says with a yawn. "We are quite fatigued in both body and mind and feel that we ought to get to sleep. We will have much to do tomorrow." She takes a deep breath, and approaches her bed, which is sitting on a sort of raised dais at the end of the room. "We really must relax!" She flops back on the bed, her limbs splayed. Your heart beats a bit faster as you realize that she is making absolutely no effort whatsoever to cover herself, putting every inch of her body on display.

She notices you momentary discomfort, and laughs. "We suppose this must be one of those things that my sister mentioned. She did say that we might think the royal servants and guards a bit prudish. When we were last in our royal position, we needed to have no modesty before our servants! Look, if you wish. We have no need to be ashamed of our body." She gestures at the portion of her body that your eyes have been avoiding. "Is that not true?"

You nod, slowly.

"We thought so. In that case, we trust that you will not mind if we indulge ourself?"

You bite your lip, and nod your head in the direction of the door, asking if you should give her some privacy.

She shakes her head and grins. "No, no. As we said, we have no need for modesty within our chamber. Besides, you will serve as quite the... visual aid."

This is, to make an insane understatement, not quite what you expected. You are quite sure that "serving as a masturbatory aide for Princess Celestia's long lost sister" was never part of the job description. Then again, the contract you signed when you registered was hundreds of pages long, so it might very well have been in there someplace.

Luna lays back on the bed, and lowers her hooves to her crotch. You don't want to stare but... who are you kidding, you want to stare. You resist the urge anyway, out of propriety. Mostly. It's hard not to see every move she makes. She starts by gently sliding her hoof up and down against the tight lips of her vagina. You can't even imagine how soft it must feel. Before long, she brings down her other hoof, squishing her pussy lips against one another. Sometime she draws them apart, just a bit, but enough to see the pinkness that her labia had hidden.

Her breathing slowly grows deeper and deeper, and her body sways on the bed. Occasionally she draws one of her hooves away from her vagina to toy with her teats, which while not particularly large, and wonderfully plump and soft-looking. Even from across the room, you can see her nipples growing more erect. Her hooves are growing slick with pussy juice, leaving darker smears on her already-dark coat.

She turns over, and begins to grind her crotch against the bed, leaving a wet patch. You can see everything. Her clit pokes out from between the folds of skin, and her small, tight anus sticks out just a bit under her raised tail. The spectacle is insane. You wonder if her comments before were meant to draw you in, if she wanted you to... to help. Her butthole looks so inviting. So soft, and...cute. You never thought you would think of something like this in such terms. It seems almost despicable to remind yourself that she uses it to poop. Right now you can't think of doing anything else with it but gently pressing your hoof against it, seeing whether you could make it fit. You lick your lips. Luna doesn't see it because she's too occupied with herself.

Before long, her gasps give way grunts. She rolled onto her back again, both hooves working furiously, squishing as she rubs at her pussy. You can see her face. Her eyes are clamped shut, her teeth gritted. She rocks back and forth, shaking her flanks as she futilely grinds against herself. Finally, she stops. It's curious; you don't think that she came. There was no shuddering, no gasp, no scream of pleasure... if she had an orgasm, it clearly didn't do much for her. But, as evidenced by the expression on her face, it's quite evident that she didn't quite achieve what she had hoped for.

"Ugh!" She screams, and it isn't in pleasure. "One would think that after a thousand years of frustration we would be able to come!" She isn't really talking to you in particular, so you resist the obvious impulse to ask if you can help. Even though you think she wouldn't mind the gesture, the last thing you want is to make a formerly evil alicorn princess angry at you for coming onto her. "We will have to use that spell," she says. She turns to you. "You may want to stand back. We haven't performed this spell in a while, and we are not quite sure how it would affect you, should you get caught in it."

You acquiesce. You don't know what kind of ramifications this spell could have, and you don't want to experience it firsthoof, especially if Luna isn't sure whether it will go off properly. You squash up against the wall at the far end of the room from where Luna is lying. Her horn glows brilliantly, and you can feel the weight of the magic she's summoned into the room. Then there's a blinding flash, and you shield your eyes.

"Success!" Luna declares, loudly.

You lower your hoof, and at first nothing nothing seems odd. Mainly because you're still seeing spots everywhere because of that flash, so unless she had summoned an elephant or something you'd have no idea how you'd see the results of her spell. You rub your eyes, and things start to get a little clearer. You begin to step closer, partially from curiosity, and party because you assume Luna would want you back at your post.

"We are quite happy we were able to execute that spell properly," Luna says. "It has been so long since we cast it last. Not that we don't have experience though; it is the... traditional remedy for when a princess has difficulty achieving a climax." She leans back, again giving you an unobstructed view of her crotch.

At first, you don't notice anything. Perhaps the spell was a hormone booster, or perhaps something that enhances one's sensations. Then you notice something. As the annoying floating spots caused by the magical light begin to disappear, you can make out the unmistakable shape of testicles and a sheath. You are quite positive that wasn't there a minute ago. Briefly, you wonder if Luna has just changed her own gender, but you immediately realize that this is ridiculous. If she had, she would have looked different and had a different voice, and more to the point, she wouldn't have retained her vagina.

"Now then..." Luna says. She immediately gets down to business, ignoring you. At first, her method of self-pleasure doesn't appear to have changed much. More rubbing her pussy and tweaking her nipples, with a bit of added scrotum-fondling. Luna bits her lip, and begins to focus her attention on her new body part. She runs her hooves delicately up and down the edges of her sheath, gently coaxing her penis out. It slides out slowly, still mostly limp. She leans forward, sitting on the edge of the bed, letting her flaccid cock dangle limply between her legs.

She flops it back and forth, slapping it against her stomach. You can't help but stare at it. It is quite a nice penis, after all. Not too big, not too small, very smooth with a perfectly proportional flare just beginning to show at the end. You can almost see the veins pulsing beneath the dark skin. She slowly begins to work her cock, cradling it in one hoof, while using her other to fondle both her testicles and her clit at the same time. Her cock slowly begins to rise, gradually hardening as she touches it.

She slowly slides off the end of the bed, and ends up sitting on the floor at the end of the bed, her back resting against the footboard. Her wing are splayed, and they twitched with pleasure each time she strokes her penis, which is nearly fully erect now. It twitches, and you can see a bead of precum oozing out. Luna sees it too. She leans forward, extending her tongue. It lightly touches the tip of her cock, and as she leans back a precum trail hangs in the air between her penis and her mouth.

With a flick of her tongue, the trail vanishes. She licks her lips. "Mmm. Still delicious," she says with a smile. Then she leans forward again, and head of her cock disappears into her mouth. You are conflicted. On the one hoof, it's a pity that you can no longer see the whole of her glorious dick. On the other, you can still see her nutsack bouncing as she bobs her head, and the thought of what must be happening inside her mouth. You think of her tongue, licking and slurping at her own penis, drinking up her secretions.

The bed creaks as she rocks back and forth, sucking herself. A mix of precum and saliva escapes her lips and dribbles down the length of her cock. One of her hooves is busy stroking the shaft, while the other is feverishly diddling her pussy. Her juices squish and drip down to the floor. You don't know how much time is passing, and you really don't care.

Her motions slowly become more and more frenzied as she gets closer and closer to climax. At some points it looks like she's ready to come, but she slows just enough to drag out the pleasure just a little longer. But finally, she loses her control. You can tell that she is ready to orgasm. Her stroking and rubbing gets faster and faster, and suddenly, she slows down. Her back legs and wings twitch furiously, and she arches her back. Her scotum tightens, her dick throbs, and then all hell breaks loose.

She whips her head back with a scream, and as her cock whips free of her mouth, it pumps spurt after spurt of cum into the air, splattering against the floor in front of her. She squirts from her vagina as well, pussy juice all but pouring out of her as he body contorts in pleasure, writhing against the end of her bed. It seems as though there's no end to her paroxysm; only an alicorn princess could possibly continue coming and coming as much as she does. You can't even conceive of what it must look like when Celestia, a princess at the height of her power, must look like when she comes.

After what seems like an eternity, Luna's orgasm subsides. She lets out a deep breath, and leans back, relaxing for the moment. The look on her face is one of satisfaction. For a few minutes she sits quietly, basking in her own afterglow. Then her consciousness finally drifts back to reality, noticing that she has made quite the mess.

She gathers her dignity, straightens her mane, and puts on a regal expression as she tosses her head. You realize that you aren't going to be a passive observer much longer. She speaks. "Lick us clean, subject."

You blink a few times. You had sort of expected that you'd be cleaning up, but didn't realize how... involved she would want you to be. You're almost certain that Celestia hadn't intended you to undertake this particular duty. But even so, your job is your job, and to be honest, Luna's whole display intrigued you quite a bit. As a matter of fact, a particular question was raised in your mind, and she's actually giving you the perfect opportunity to answer.

You nod.

"Good," she says.

You step forward, towards the splatters of cum that she's left on the floor in front of her.

"No, no, no!" She interrupts. "We commanded you to lick us clean." She swings her head, flicking her mane. "The maids shall take care of the floor. But we can hardly sleep if we are not cleaned up."

You take a deep breath and approach Princess Luna. Her cock is still mostly erect. The power of her ejaculation means that the majority of her semen landed a ways away from her, but even as you get closer you can see the residual cum oozing from her cock-hole, and dripping down the shaft. You're so close now that if she desired, a twist of her hips would send her cock across your face. Fortunately, she holds still.

"Well?" she asks. "Begin."

You kneel before her and get to work. She leans back, allowing her cock to stick nearly straight up. You gently touch the tip of your tongue against the base, right at the point where the shaft meets her scrotum. Her skin is very smooth, and very warm. You lick at the patch of skin, just a bit, tickling her. Luna giggled, pleased at your improvisation. You slowly draw your tongue upwards along her penis. The smoothness is occasionally broken by the pulsating veins in her dick. You can feel her heartbeat begin to grow more rapid as you get about halfway along the length.

Your tongue reaches the first drops of cum. Your eyes widen as your taste buds register the flavor. Against all odds, you find it not salty or bland, but sweet and creamy, as if she ejaculated something that you would take in your coffee. If you focus you can almost detect a hint of vanilla. It strikes you as exceedingly odd for all of a moment. Then you remember that the cum, along with the penis itself, is the result of magic. It only makes sense that if Luna is going to be sucking herself off, she would give her ejaculate a pleasant taste.

"Ah, do you enjoy it?" she asks. "It took us some time to get the flavor we wanted. It required quite a bit of testing."

You don't even need to speak to answer her question. You resume your duty, working your way up the shaft. As you reach the head, you wrap your tongue as far around it as you can, and gently draw it into your mouth. Your tongue gently scoops up the drops of cum, wiping her penis clean. As you finish exploring the ridges around the head of her cock, you look up and see her smiling at you.

"Very good, subject," she says.

You release her cock from her mouth and sit back. Then you swallow. Luna raises an eyebrow.

"You enjoy our ejaculate so much? We are honored." Luna slowly rises to her hooves, her half-flaccid dick, now clean, dangles just enough to reach the floor. "However, our cock is not the only thing that requires cleaning." She slowly turns around and raises her tail, revealing her anus, vagina, and pleasantly dangling scrotum. Her pussy is sopping wet, the remainder of her squirt dripping down onto her testicles from between the slightly open lips. But once again, you find yourself oddly drawn to her butthole, which is absolutely pristine. You feel a brief urge to assault it, but that's outside your stated duty.

Instead, you turn your attention to her nuts, fondling them ever so gently with your tongue. Even though one would think that she had drained herself completely, they still feel nice and plump. You take an extra moment to pause and suck on them for a moment before working your way up to where the pussy juice is dripping down. Pausing to take a break, you press your tongue against the lower edge of her vagina. Unlike her cum, her juice is a bit bitter. Yet, it's bitter in a good way. It certainly isn't disagreeable. You move your head in in a small circle, dragging your tongue around her labia.

You press your cheek against her buttocks as you turn you attention to her clit, which is hot (in more ways than one) and throbbing, as if it wants you to continue sucking it. You oblige, even if it's a bit counterproductive. More wetness all but pours out of your princess's pussy. Fortunately enough, it has no chance to rush down her body again. You refuse to let even a drop escape. Luna's ass begin to shiver from the sensation of your oral assault. The only response, obviously, is to double your effort. Your entire tongue vanishes inside Luna's pussy, licking with such gusto that your mouth is almost sore.

Luna's knees are so weak that she can barely stand. "S-subject!" she gasps. "That... that is sufficient. Our testicles and vagina are suitably cleansed."

You reluctantly remove your tongue from the Royal Genitals. Once again, you reflect on the undeniable beauty of your new Princess's ass. You ponder whether or not it surpasses Celestia's. You've spent enough time standing behind Celestia as part of her bodyguard to study it in detail. At the moment, it's still too close to call. Celestia's rump is certainly exquisite, but you don't quite have the same... level of experience with it. Not to mention the lack of a cock and balls.

And there was also the matter that Celestia rarely carries her tail high enough to give you a real view of her anus. Yes, occasionally one might catch a glimpse of her tightly pursed pussy lips; you and your compatriots kept a running tally of who had been so lucky to view. But still, that was mostly brief glimpses of a half-hidden slit. And she never raised her tail high enough for anypony to see her anus. That was a the stuff of legend. There was one pegasus guard who claimed to have a caught a glimpse of it once as he was escorting her though a windstorm, but he was hardly a reliable source. For what it was worth, he had claimed that while it was obviously well-maintained, it also appeared to protrude enough to imply that Celestia used it for things other than its biological purpose.

Luna, as far as you can tell, hasn't. In fact, you find it hard to believe that she's used her anus at all. Whether it's because she's not the type or because she just hasn't tried it is up in the air. But you lean towards the latter. You can't imagine that she would mind if you made a pass at it, and besides, it would be a waste to leave it alone when all of her other holes are getting attention. Your mind is made up. You hold Luna's tail out of the way and plant a gigantic kiss right on her butthole, just as if it were a pair of lips.

"GAH!" Luna gasps at the unexpected sensation. "What are you doing to our anus!" Her voice has that timbre of someone who's trying to sound angry, but isn't. Mostly likely she feels she ought to be indignant, but her voice contains only manufactured indignation. What's more, her body barely moves; if anything, you swear that she pokes out her rump just a bit more. You decide to answer her question by upgrading your kiss from simple lips to something a bit more fancy. "Is that thine tongue?!" Luna bellows, her voice sounding more sweet and surprised than truly angry.

As expected, Luna's royal rectum is impeccable. It's so unbelievably untainted that you briefly wonder whether the princess might have some other spell that negates her need to actually use it. Her wonderfully tight ass squeezes your tongue, making a token attempt to push it out. Luna slowly sways forward and back, tensing and untensing her sphincter, not sure what to make of the sensation. Her pussy squashes against your chin, and her balls bounce against your neck. You can feel her starting to shake with pleasure. You briefly wonder if she's ever had an orgasm from having her ass eaten out.

"That is enough!" she gasps. There's a bright flash of light, and suddenly Luna is gone. You stumbled forward against the end of the bed, and see that Luna is now seated on the bed, breathing heavily. Her mouth twitches, as if she wants to smile but cannot. "While we certainly appreciate your effort, our goal was to relax! When we want to experiment with our body, we shall tell you. And believe us, we do plan on following up this... method." She clears her throat. "But in the meantime, I really ought to sleep. However..." she nods downward toward her cock, which is now semi-erect and already begging to generate precum. "We seem to be getting hard once more. Since you are the one who cause this, we expect you to finish the job."

You smile and nod.

She swings her legs over the edge of the bed and crosses her forelegs. Her penis points at you, veins throbbing. "Well? Suck our cock!"

You acquiesce, stuffing her flaring boner into your mouth. With one hoof, you gently stroke the shaft of her hard-on while you use your other to fondle her nutsack. She immediately leans back, focused on the pleasure. You decide to take your time. There's no need to get fancy, you already got her going, and now you can just focus on savoring the taste of the precum that Luna is generating. For a time, you simply wish to draw out the experience, bobbing your head slowly, letting Luna savor the sensation. She certainly shows no signs of wanting to end things.

But before long, your neck is beginning to get sore, and you're quite sure that it's high time that Luna went to bed. You begin to suck faster and harder. Your tongue, which has spent most of the blowjob circling around the edge of the flare, goes to work. It's explored all of Luna's other holes. No reason to leave the dickhole out of the fun. The tip of your tongue presses against the hole. Luna gasps as she realizes what you're doing, but she doesn't make any attempt to stop you. You press harder, and your tongue slips just a little bit into her urethra. You can feel the precum oozing out from around your attempt at plugging her cock. It's fine with you. Even though you only manage to get a little bit into her, it seems to be more than enough from her perspective.

She rocks her hips back and forth, sliding her dick in and out of your mouth, making sure that the tip stays inside your lips. For all intents and purposes, she's fucking your head, and you're loving every second of it. Her humping gets more and more frenzied, and if you weren't totally occupied with the giant mare-cock in your mouth, you'd think that you were going to have a bruised tongue tomorrow. But the fact that Luna has grabbed your head with her shaking hooves implies that you're about to have something else to worry about. You hope that your gag reflex can take what's about to happen.

For a split second, Luna's body goes rigid and her scrotum tightens. Then she gasps out, in an earsplitting shout:

"WE ARE CUMMING!"

You briefly wonder why she felt the need to say that, because the enormous volume of semen that her cock is pumping into your mouth makes that fact quite clear, as does the fact that her entire body has been overcome with pleasure and is now spasming so hard that she vary nearly falls off of the bed. The cum is deliciously sweet, like cream, as it pours over your tongue. You swallow hungrily, both not to let the stuff go to waste and to insure that your mouth doesn't overflow. You were lucky that only the tip of her cock was still in your mouth when the orgasm struck, or you might have been choked.

After what seems like an eternity, it seems that she has finally been drained. The last drops of ejaculate spill from her dick onto your tongue, and you lap them up. She finally releases your head, and her dick springs out of your mouth with a pop. She flops back on the bed, unkempt and sweaty. Her cock, now limp, is draped between her legs. She is smiling widely, her eyes just now finally beginning to go back to normal, after having rolled up into her head during the blowjob. Her tongue is hanging out of her mouth, and her entire body rises and falls as she gasps.

"W-well done, subject," She manages. "You have... performed well. You may return to your post. Now... we shall sleep."

Her head flops back and she almost immediately begins to snore. You smile and nod.

"You did what?!" Celestia's eye twitched. She had known that her sister might have had trouble adjusting, but this... "Luna, we don't do that anymore! You can't sexually assault your guards just because you're horny!"

"How was I to know?" Luna said sulkily. "You do remember that I was on the moon for the past thousand years."

"I know, I know," Celestia put a hoof to her forehead. "I suppose I just didn't figure that you'd have much of a libido, given everything that happened. But still, you'd better hope that the guard I assigned you doesn't file a complaint, because you're going to have enough trouble adjusting without a sex scandal to deal with. If you're going to do that, at the very least make it clear in the job description that they will be expected to... service you."

"Very well, I will not involve the royal guards or servants in my... physical needs. I don't suppose that you could spare a few of your concubines until I gather some of my own?"

Celestia shook her head. "Luna, I don't have any concubines. We haven't had those for centuries!"

"What?!" Luna's eyes bugged out. "But how am I to... take care of things?"

"Go on a date like a regular pony! I found a long time ago now not to misuse my status as princess for my own personal pleasure." She snorted. "You know that even back then, we were planning to get rid of them. We may be princesses, but it doesn't mean we can treat our subjects however we please."

"Yes, yes." Luna sighed. "I understand."

"Good." Celestia smiled. "I really am happy to have you back, Luna. I missed you. I just want you to be able to get along with everypony, that's all."

"Yes, I know," Luna said with a smile. "Old habits die hard, I suppose. I will meet you on the veranda for lunch."

"I'll see you there." Celestia watched as Luna turned to leave.

Luna looked back over her shoulder. "Although for what it is worth, they were totally into it. And they did quite a number on our royal hindquarters, if you know what I mean."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Really."

The next day, you receive an unexpected letter. You have been promoted. To Celestia's personal bodyguard, none the less. Princess Luna wasn't kidding about that promotion. You wonder if being Celestia's guard will be anything like being Luna's guard. Thinking of all those long days standing at attention, staring at Celestia from behind, you hope it is.

Author's Note

Yeah, I don't usually do 2nd person stuff, but when I saw the picture (can't link it for NSFW reasons, but it's image # 493903 on Derpibooru), I know I had to write a story about it, and nothing else came to mind. And come to think of it, this is the first straight up clop I've done that isn't humanized. (Well, there's the proofreading story, but that's a parody). Probably not that good, but whatever.

Also, disclaimer: I know nothing about how horse teats actually work and whether they get erect or whatever, and I'm not about to look that up, so you get my best guess. Which is basically that they work like human boobs, only located a bit further down on the body.