“Well, this is depressing…”

A few scattered lanterns provided the only source of light as I scanned over what remained of my bar, their flickering brilliance casting long shadows over the toppled furniture and questionable stains. Depressing may not have been a strong enough word really; if this place had belonged to someone who actually relied upon it for their livelihood they might have been thoroughly screwed. Myself? I was mostly pissed off for other reasons but, it was still my bar dammit…

The building itself was really none the worse for wear but the furnishings and décor were a total write off. Anything that hadn’t been smashed or thrashed during the scuffle had long since been trashed by the Vamps as they amused themselves in various ways. You should see them going at it. Messy, vocal, incredibly energetic and never quite satiated. Seriously, like a catfight on a tin roof but one’s way too ambitious and the other is actually an opossum...

You would think that after a time they would come up with other forms of amusement but after observing their behavior for a few days the only real noteworthy observation I have to offer is that there is certainly something to say for inexhaustible stamina. That and all the hooch they can put away, lords beard, I’d have been set for a good while if any of them had actually paid for all this…

But no. thousands of bits worth of imported bottles, barrels, kegs and yes even boxes of varying liquors and wines lay dashed across my floors. I swear there was as much waste as there was consumption…

“Damn Vamps!” I grumbled tetchily as I scraped up another pile of shattered glass, the jagged little pieces reeking of alcohol and various Vampiric fluids. “Damn, stupid, wager!”

I shoved the colored remains of the decorative bottles into a garbage bag and tossed the now full container onto a growing pile. “Round them all up, tie em to a poll, find a nice big Hydra…!” With a snap of my fingers the pile burst into hellish red flames and was incinerated in seconds. “Keep cutting off heads till you have nothing but a writhing ball of death! Then just sit back and watch!!”

Clenching my tiny fists I stomped a foot with a toddler like howl of outrage, crushing the stone floor under my heel and shaking the surrounding walls in sheer indignation. My outburst rattled the windows and brought dust down from the ceiling, the tremors causing several other nearby bottles to fall from their shelves and shatter over my nearly cleaned floor. It was a pure display of vanity certainly, but dam did it feel good.

Narcissism can be so unbecoming.

I slumped my tiny shoulders, breathing in so deeply that my body inflated and I floated up off the floor. This was childish; my outbursts were completely unnecessary and overly dramatic. Yes my bar was pretty much in shambles, but it was basically just a cheap façade behind which to test patches little friend, so why should I be so upset? The waste of effort notwithstanding.

Exhaling gently through my nostrils I took another look around as I slowly descended back to the floor, the faint scent of fresh booze tickling my nose as I watched the amber liquid spread out. Obviously I knew why I should be upset; I had lost a bet after all. Actually, it was more to whom I had lost the bet that had my hide steaming. No, I was quite literally steaming, clouds of the stuff just wafting into existence around my body. Does wonders for carpets…

Speaking of…

My nose reminded me once again as I landed about the unsightly puddle near the front door. How so much fluid came from such a small bat I will never know but the foul memoir she left behind still reeked of fear.

Fear was always a welcome scent and mixed as it was with the blood and alcohols that filled the air it had become a rather pungent aroma. I could even learn to like it.

Still though, I just could not help feeling a little miffed. This place had grown on me in the few weeks I had spent setting it up and to see it like this just, well, it got under my skin a bit I suppose. There was not much out there these days that I could truly claim as my own and something somewhere inside me just felt at home here. Heh, listen to me, sounding all melancholy over yet another doomed little world. Oh well…

Most of the blood had cleaned up nicely; club soda is nearly the miracle worker I am, but there was still glass about and don’t even get me started on the furniture. Though that did remind me; I had a few cans of varnish around here somewhere, the dungeon perhaps…?

Where was I? Oh right.

“Fucking motherless Vamponies!” I snarled as I balled my boney hand into a fist, ensnaring yet another of the dumb bastards that hadn’t gotten the memo yet within my will as it tried to slink past my door.

With another snap of my spindly fingers I could hear the creeping cretin scream as its limbs were all violently pulled in separate directions, joints and ligaments popping and tearing audibly before being twisted off, leaving the piece of shit to scream his sorrows to Luna’s moon.

At first the sound had been cathartic, relaxing even. Now it was just starting to feel like work. This whole endeavor was starting to feel like work and had yet to bear me any fruit. It was growing difficult to justify remaining here; Patches stayed because he genuinely cared, but me?

I did not have time for this little game anymore, I could only manifest within this realm for so long and I was getting tired of waiting for the next act. If this trip was destined to be a total loss at the end I might as well get some enjoyment out of it.

Besides, the wager was still on and I very much doubted that I would ever set foot in this place again...

Reaching out I summoned my fancy walking cane from a shelf by the bar, catching it in my outstretched hand and headed for the door. This had been a delightful respite from my own ambitions but, I felt it was high time we all moved on.

As I passed through the exit I held out my other hand, catching my amulet as it raced to my side as well. The little gem Alex had been so kind as to, ‘retrieve’ for me was pressed firmly back into the center of its rune covered face.

Not even bothering to shut the door behind me I headed off down the street, the sweet sounds of screaming fading away behind me as I whistled a merry tune. Something about giggling at the ghosts or something, I think. I headed down several different side avenues until reaching the main boulevard through this part of town, the traffic thankfully light for this time of night…

Rolling my eyes at the unintended rhyme I took a look at the castle nestled further up the mountain, the old marble structure looking surprisingly serene all things considered. I held up a pocket watch, the half dozen arms it held twirling this way and that. Dammed chaos...

Noting the present time, as well as the time relative to when it was supposed to be currently from back then, but now. I smiled, knowing that the peaceful façade was about to be shattered.

At nearly the exact moment I had been expecting it an explosion broke the silence, a flash of light from a few blocks further along the street told me right where to go. I just love grenades! Such simple, wonderful, destructive little things. Not unlike myself…

Walking closer I could hear more things you might typically associate with a fight, shouting, clanging metal, spraying blood. Some poor sap was screaming, ‘my leg’!

All this and more went by, mostly ignored, by me for a few minutes. I was really only here to catch myself up, and because I really had no interest in being around for the boring bits with Luna. Seriously, if you think what happened to Celestia was bad; Luna is the one who’s one conniption fit away from brining down her own moon.

Hopping into the building via a rather conveniently placed hole I turned a corner and took a tepid glance at what there was to see. There, cornered and outnumbered as usual, was Alex fuckin Rustwing. The dumb sod was busted up pretty good from the looks of things, though; judging by the smear outside he was faring better than most of this lot.

With another snap of my fingers the entire scene before me froze, burning away a few more of the precious moments that I had left. Twirling my cane I sauntered forwards, taking stock of Alexs’ situation. The sword and spear were not of any immediate threat, but that hammer…

Oh that hammer…

I waited there, holding back the reins of this moment for what felt like years as I watched the hammer, its swing nearly perfect. My blood boiled, or at least it would have if I had any, but damn it all if I was going to owe Patches any more cash.

“Fucking Vamps…”

Author's Note

Surprise!