Contest of chaos

by Space Wizard Novablast

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 1715

The trickster god Loki of Norse mythology meets the god of chaos Discord at a bar, and they start to exchange their greatest works of messing with ponies or people

When Discord, lord of chaos, meets Loki the trickster, at a bar. What will happen?

Well of course two beings like such would become good friends.

Or at least drinking partners.

Published 2014-01-29 15:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-29 15:40:04 UTC

Competition is on!

Sugarcube corner was in an unnatural calm state. No sound of parties, no tell that pinkie might've been brewing one. Just calm, steady silence, and burping..... Lots of it.

Because this was Sugarcube corner after eight.

Whenever the time struck 20:00 the under aged would be thrown out and those interested in a drink with more than 0,000001 percent alcohol in it would be able to get their lust sated.

One such, was Discord.

Sitting at the bar with a small glass of dried martini that he made spin madly by a mere thought. This was the utmost excitement he could get once his friends had retreated to their respective homes. Of course he didn't really need shelter, in the literal sense of reliable shelter, he could teleport himself into someone else's home and then be out of there without them knowing what had eaten all their muffins and ruffled their couch.

But for The Lord of chaos it didn't seem like this would be that much of an exciting evening.

As he was in the middle of reducing the tiny parasol in his drink to wood chips and shreds of paper, an incredibly strange pony...... Or something, walked in. He was standing on two legs and had a rather large cloak on with what looked to be a birds head functioning as his hood. He was definitely young, but somehow he seemed older than he looked, like someone who had seen the world end only to be reborn in a matter of seconds. He had a small goatee followed by sideburns, and his eyes were swamp-like green.

He sat down at one of the barstools, a few hooves-lengths or so from where Discord was sitting.

"What'll it be stranger?" Miss cake asked with a smile, holding a small notebook in one hoof and a pen in the side of her mouth. Miss cake was the only pegasus Discord had ever met that was able to talk while writing, it was actually incredible to behold.

"Mead." He said, pulling back his hood to reveal slick and handsome features. His hair, like his beard, was blacker than coal, and his skin was pale, he almost looked dead. But his eyes, while holding deep wisdom and knowledge, also has the mind of something Discord knew all too well.

He was a trickster, and a damn good one at that.

"I'm afraid we don't have that sweetie." Miss cake said while smiling apologetically, "perhaps you'd like something else?"

The man smiled back, "beer."

"Coming right up." She hurried into the back room, and soon after everyone in the establishment could hear, "A COLD BEER HONEY!"

Discord decided to have some fun, whomever this guy was he certainly needed something to entertain him. "Might I interest you in a mug of this 'mead'?" He asked as he waved the recently summoned mug.

The man turned to him with a sly grin, "if you could truly help me Chimera, then I'd be most generous."

"Chimera? Please." Discord said as he placed the cup on the table, he waved a paw over it and it receded into the table, only to reappear before the man, now filled to the brim. "I, am a Draconequus."

"Whatever you are sir, I must say that I am grateful for what to have done." He grabbed the mug and took a long sip, "might I return the favor?" He asked.

"Oh there is no need for that!" Discord said  waving a claw flamboyantly towards the man, before tapping his bearded chin. "Actually, might I ask what your name is?"

The man gave out a hearty laugh, "of course you can, but to expect such a favor cannot repay what you have done for me. I am Loki, son of Odin and brother to Thor."

what a strange way to present yourself. Discord thought, "I am Discord, lord of chaos." He made a bow just as a top hat appeared on his head and trumpets blew a small fanfare behind him.

"Pleased to meet you lord Discord." The man executed a bow fitting only for one of noble status. "May I ask if there is something at this very moment that you wish for?"

"A muffin wouldn't go unappreciated." Discord said as normally as he could, he looked back to the man who was now sitting with an exquisite golden horn in his lap. He was waving his...... Hands, yes, Lyra had called them hands, above the horn and was mumbling to himself. Soon after he stopped, and the horn glowed dimly for a second before he pushed it over to the Draconequus.

"I am quite sure that I asked for a muffin." Discord said in a puzzled tone. Loki merely smiled before his hand dug into the opening in the horn, and re emerged with a muffin.

"Voila." He said, smiling deviously.

"Impressive," Discord said with a mouth full of cranberry muffin, "what brings a sorcerer of your prowess to smalltown Ponyville?"

"Causing the end of the world and then being reborn a short minute after can really take its toll on you," Loki said and shuddered before taking another sip of his mead, "I just needed some time to myself, get away from my brothers."

Discord nodded, family could be a bitch. Especially when you had done something bad, but soon a thought emerged in his head. did he say end of the world? The Lord of chaos spat out what remained of his muffin, although it was sucked up by the trumpets he had forgotten to dismiss. "Did you say end of the world?"

"Yes, Ragnarok to be precise." He nodded sagely, "dying really hurts you know? It's like being in a really dark room and then someone lighting a lamp after you've been there for hours."

"Sound positively herendous," Discord took yet another sip of his martini, being quite disappointed that the glass was now empty.

"Let me help you with that." Loki once again waved his hands, and soon after the glass was filled to the brim with not martini, but rather with something else that smelled like flowers and sugar. Discord took a sip and found that the drink was both sweet and rousing.

"This is wonderful!" He smacked his lips, "what is this wonderful beverage called?"

"It's mead my friend, chanted straight from the halls of Valhalla." Loki said while beaming proudly.

"Why do we not get ourself a table dear Loki?" Discord said as he snapped his finger, making both of their stools and a nearby table start walking closer to them. "I am sure that we have much to talk about."

About 50 mugs of mead later.....

"And my wife...... What was her name again?" Loki was lying over the table with his forearms doing their best to keep himself up, "Sithey, that's it." Most of what he said was drunken slur, much to the enjoyment of the equally drunk Discord.

"That bitch right, that bitch goes and gets pregnant with me!" He threw his arms into the air, making him fall over the table, he luckily stopped his fall without hurting himself. "And it ain't even gods we get!" He yelled, "she birthed a fucking wolf, a worm, and some freaky woman with half a face that's rotten!"

Discord let out an ear splitting laughter, he smacked the table and bent back in his stool. Everyone else had just decided to leave once the conversation the two were having got too loud. Miss cake and her husband had just decided to leave them alone, they would leave once they got bored.

"Okay, okay." Discord finally stopped laughing as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "How about this?" He waved a paw in front of Loki to get his full attention. "So at one point I was turned to stone aight?" Loki nodded enthusiastically. "But while I was being turned to stone I dropped these black things that the princesses thought were just snacks right?" Loki nodded again, signaling that he was following so far. "But those weren't snacks, they were SEEDS, and recently those seeds sprouted up, and overtook the entire town with giant spiny tentacles!"

Loki couldn't take it, his head collided with the table, it almost cracking from the weight of the mugs and the two tricksters. Finally, miss cake had enough. "Both of you are going out of here now!"

"Oh miss cake," Discord shot out his outer lip as best he could, "can we stay here a just a little longer?"

"NO." She shouted, "NO NO NO. You've chased out all of the guests with your yelling!" She pushed the mugs off the table, "you've been here for hours, conjuring your own drinks and not paying!" She took away the barstools, making both drunks fall off the table, "and my decor is WALKING!" The table which she was referring to covered down and whimpered as best it could.

"You're getting out, NOW!" She shouted the last word at the top of her lungs. Both deities quickly got up and hurried out the door with speed that would make rainbow dash jealous.

"What do we do now?" Loki sighed with irritation. He dusted his cape off and noted with sadness that it had actually been torn.

"Don't worry buddy!" Discord said, pointing a paw directly into the air as dramatically as she could, "I know exactly where we can rest!"

He fell back a moment later, not flinching but with his paw still aiming directly upwards.

"You're gonna have to carry me."

Fluttershy hurried to her door as she heard someone knocking. She opened it with tired eyes, and was relieved to find discord at the door. Although she was not so relieved to find someone else with him.

"Oh fluttershy," he chirped, "do you think we could sleep here for the night?"

Within the great halls of wisdom in Valhalla, Odin sat and worried.

"Damn those boys, where have they gone off to now?"

He closed his left eye and let his lost right eye seek out the energies of his brother and his son.

"Equestria huh?" He hummed, "better go and find those doofuses before they do something to upset my old friend!"