Poeni: An Ancient Breed

Chapters

Chapter 2: A Celestial Confidant
Chapter 3: Starting Research
Chapter 3.5: Every One of My Stories is Required to Have One of These
Chapter 4: Oak Branches and Palm Leaves
Chapter 5: Trollestia Strikes Again
Chapter 5.5: Trollestia Gets Serious
Preface (and Reference)
Chapter 1: Over the River and Through the Woods, to Get Away from the Dragon

Chapter 2: A Celestial Confidant

I had never been more afraid in my life than I was right now. My eyes were starting to water, my lips were starting to chap, my muscles starting to burn, despite my adrenaline; I was running too damn fast. I was caught by surprise when I broke out of the Everfree Forest within mere minutes of grabbing my things and running. In addition to my fear of the dragon - whose consistent roars kept me going - I was beginning to fear that I would wipe out again, as I was galloping way too fast to be able to come to a quick stop if I would need to. The fact that I was constantly having to dodge vegetation didn't help, either. If only I could use my wings...

I had injured them several years ago while saving a filly that had fallen out of a building in Manehattan. Heroic: yes. Clichéd: double-yes. Foolish for not taking the course of action that was clearly better than the one that I took: ask my shattered wings. In hindsight, I keep bucking myself, because I know what I could have done: I could have easily trotted underneath the falling filly and basically called a fair catch. Instead, I had recklessly flown, caught the filly mid-dive, and crash landed on my back, completely shattering my wings in the process. I remember thinking that I had paralyzed them, since I couldn't feel them at all. Unfortunately, it was just adrenaline, as the excruciating pain that had come later proved. By the way, that pain still hasn't fully subsided. The filly was still safe, but the same obviously couldn't be said of my wings. By some miracle, I would eventually be able to fly again. However, after my wings healed - which still wouldn't be for at least another year - I would have to relearn how to fly. Before that "accident", I hadn't been a very fast flier, but I more than made up for that with my elusiveness and maneuverability. So much for that now.

Anyway, I refused to slow down, despite the numerous different factors that were all telling me to. It's a good thing I didn't, as moments later I had made it out - of the forest, that is, not of danger. Surprisingly, there was a town directly ahead of me. Who in their right minds would build a town on the edge of the Everfree Fore-...oh yeah, it's Ponyville. How did I forget that? Suddenly, it clicked: in this situation, town = help. I didn't slow down at all, especially as I saw an old friend of mine as I got closer to what I assumed was the town plaza.

"In the name of you, thank goodness you're here!" I shouted in a desperate - yet fortunately successful - attempt to get her attention.

Whether you decide to believe me or not, I am good friends with Princess Celestia herself. Oh, you decided not to believe me? Well guess what? I don't care. That won't change the fact that I am, and have been ever since I had helped her and her sister defe-- whoops, almost spilled the beans there; that's something I'm not supposed to talk about, as per the request of both of the Princesses. Anyway, she and I are not just 'old friends' - for reasons that she made me promise long ago I would keep quiet - but we are not only on a first name basis, not only on a nickname basis, but pretty much on a best-friends-who-like-to-mess-around-with-one-another-a-lot-more-than-is-probably-healthy-for-anypony-involved-in-any-way-shape-or-form sort of basis. Still don't believe me? Well, I still don't care.

As I got closer, I noticed that my timing couldn't be more perfect: considering the crowd in the plaza, as well as the royal chariot just behind the Princess, it looked like she was just about to leave. I also noticed that she seemed to be talking to one pony in particular...I remember Celestia telling me a while back that she had sent her personal protégé to Ponyville to help her make friends that weren't books. Haha! I still find that hilarious, especially because that's exactly how the Princess had worded it, too! Hm...what was her name though...uh...oh! Twilight Sparkle! That's it! I can't be certain that tha's who she's talking to now, but it's definitely worth the assumption.

As I got even closer, I decided to take a glance over my shoulder...only to discover that the dragon had now decided to take flight. Shiiiiiiit! Apparently, the Princess must have seen the dragon as well - thank...her, I guess - as I saw that she had begun trotting up to me as I looked forward again.

"A little help, please!" I shouted as I approached her, immediately followed by another loud dragon roar, this time audibly accompanied by fire.

Before this, I must've looked like a madstallion, but I hoped that the prescence of the dragon was proving me less insane to the ponyfolk in the town than I originally appeared to be. That doesn't necessarily mean that I wasn't insane. Fortunately, however, as soon as the dragon had gotten to within her range, my divine consort teleported it away with a laugh. Clearly she was trying to humiliate me by making it seem so simple. No matter; I'll get her back - I always have. With my well-being and safety now certain, however, my legs instinctively tightened up, causing me to immediately fall forward in a painful face-plant. I didn't really care, though; I was able to rest, and that's all that really mattered at that moment. I felt my saddlebags being lifted off of me magically and heard them gently placed next to me. This allowed me to roll over, though I was forced to be careful to not out any weight on my still-injured wings. Once I had, I saw Celestia leaning over me, a large grin planted on her face.

"It's been a while, Bri'," she greeted me.

"That it has, Celly. And thank you, by the way."

As she assisted me back up to my hooves with her magic, I immediately flipped my blind-bangs back over my right eye; I no longer needed to use it for my complete night vision, and when I no longer need to use it, I don't. It's really that simple. Additionally, I didn't want anypony to see it yet, with the lone exception of Celestia, who had been the first to point it out to me in the first place. As I looked around me, I was somewhat surprised to find that the majority of the ponies that had been gathered earlier had dispersed. As I thought about it, though, it made sense: it was late. The ponies who were still present, though - with the exception of the Princess - were six mares, whom I managed to vaguely recognize as the Elements of Harmony, solely because of my familiarity of the legend. Well, that as well as practically all legends...I like legends, okay? Don't judge me! Anyway, one thing that I had always found to be intriguing about the Elements of Harmony in particular was that they not only were directly tied in with my friend Celestia, but also because they - unlike the vast majority of all the legends I've ever heard of - are solely based on facts, as they themselves are nothing but fact.

Now, Celestia finally took the time to formally introduce me to the Elements...well, that is until she went all Trollestia on me and decided to have me try to guess each of their names, as well as the respective Elements that they each represent. Again with the humiliation! Well, it would be were it not for my familiarity of their names and respective Elements. All I had to do really was match the name with the pony, which is really simple, especially with a bit of deducing...and I actually feel somewhat pathetic now, as earlier I had some trouble recalling the name of Twilight Sparkle - Celestia's student - yet I had completely whiffed the fact that she's the Element of Magic. Wooooww....

Anyway, the first match that I was able to make was Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty. As I looked at her, I noticed that the combination of her rainbow mane and tail contrasted with her cyan coat to perfectly make me think of an actual rainbow arcing through a cloudless, blue sky. That's pretty damn cool, I think. Anyway, she was rather obvious to point out, considering her namesake mane and tail made her stick out like a wingboner. Speaking of which...she was also making me overwhelmingly thankful for once that both of my wings were strapped to my body, as otherwise I would probably have a wingboner myself. Yes, I admit, I was finding her extremely attractive. I doubt you could blame me, though. Well, at least I hope you couldn't blame me. Regardless, if circumstances would permit, I would like to be able to get to know her better...no, not in that way...well, yet, at least, but that's besides the point, as I was relating to a different reason, one that would apply to the other five Elements as well:

I've always make it a priority to establish a new permanent connection each time I visit a town, village, etc., whether I've been there before or not. Over the years, I've found that such connections are crucial, especially for the ever-wandering lifestyle that I have. These connections help me by, for example, giving me shelter for a couple nights, food, etc., whereas I return the favor through...well, favors; helping with chores, run an errand or two, those sorts of things. However, the thing I find most...empowering regarding these connections is the bond that is formed through it, as well as the trust, good nature, and understanding that comes with it. Even though my estimate of the average time between my visits of any one connection is around six to eight months, those bonds stand the test of time. It's truly remarkable! Almost as remarkable as the connections themselves, which include the famous DJ Vinyl Scratch - AKA DJ P0N-3 - Soarin' of the Wonderbolts, and of course, Princess Celestia. Again you don't believe me? Well again, I don't care.

Moving on, my next guess was Fluttershy, Element of Kindness. I was actually somewhat saddened when I saw her not only hiding her face behind her pink mane, but also that she was trying to hide behind her peers. Unfortunately for her, though, having a yellow coat didn't help her cause much.

Next was Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter. I had guessed her not only because of her pink coat, mane and tail, but also because of the abnormally-large smile plastered on her face. From the way I looked at it, it looked to be permanent. The fact that her mane and tail looked and smelled like cotton candy help quite a bit in my deduction as well.

I'm honestly surprised that I hadn't named Applejack, Element of Honesty, sooner, particularly because of her trademark stetson, which gave her away to me immediately. Additionally, I knew that she was a co-owner of Sweet Apple Acres. Their product - apples, obviously, but damn delicious ones - had actually begun to be something I was sick of hearing of, due to how famous they were no matter where I was; no matter how good something is, is starts to get really annoying when it's more-or-less the only thing that you ever hear anypony talking about. I decided to vocalize that, but before I could clarify what I meant, the orange farmmare thanked me for the complement, and gave the explanation I was going to give to her confused friends. I always like it when things are done for you.

The two unicorns were all that remained, and of the two I first named Rarity, Element of Generosity. In regard to her...well...her name just fit her appearance. I can't find the proper words to explain how I knew, but it...just made sense, I guess. Well, that and her elegantly-flowing mane and tail, her tri-gem cutie mark, her stereotypically-accurate regal appearance...okay, I guess I was able to find the proper words.

Lastly, I named off the Princess' personal protégé, Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic. Similar to Rainbow Dash, I felt that her appearance compared well with the sky, though not as perfectly as the former. As for this studious mare, however, I felt the comparison would be focused simply on her mane, the colors in particular. It is a deep violet - almost an indigo - with purple and magenta streaks in it, reminiscent of a beautiful night sky at dusk. Additionally, I realized that I undoubtedly would end up getting to know her a lot better, particularly due to our mutual relationship with the Princess.

Getting my priorities back together, I opened up my saddlebags, sat down, and let Poeni out, cradling her aging figure in my forelegs for a short while. As I was doing so, I had some sudden realizations. First off, looking down at Poeni, I noticed that phoenixes seem to grow smaller as they near the need to be reborn. In Poeni's case, she's approximately ⅓ to ½ the size that I am, with a six to eight hoof wingspan. When she's healthy, that is. Considering this, as well as the fact that Poeni, in her current state, can easily fit in one of my saddlebags, I fully realized how little time I truly have, in the long run.

I looked up and noticed that five of the six Elements were donning confused expressions, with the lone exception being the Princess' personal protégé, Twilight Sparkle, who bore an expression of pure intrigue. I followed her gaze as she took a couple steps forward, and recognized that she was looking at Poeni.

"Poenus antiques..." the violet mare exclaimed, thus confirming my realization.

Before I could reply, the other five Elements decided to take their leave, which I completely understood, considering how late it was. After they left for their respective homes, I set Poeni down next to my saddlebags and took out the sack, opening it up to let Poeni stick her head in. A couple seconds later, Poeni pulled her head back out, giving me a look and a kaw.

"Yeah, I know it isn't enough, Popo, but it is a good portion of what we need!" I confessed with a sigh.

I looked and noticed that Celestia seemed to recognize the scent, as evidenced when she correctly guessed what it was: myrrh. The Princess then moved on to her next point, asking me if I had a place to stay, or if I was wandering around Equestria like I usually do. Replying that it's the latter, her violet student immediately offered to let me stay with her for the time being.

I hesitated. Despite having met so many different ponies, an immediate invitation into the home of somepony you had just met was extremely rare, and thus was something that I was rather unexperienced with. Fortunately, however, Celestia had me covered.The Princess pulled me aside, and explained to me - again - that the biggest reason why she had even sent her protégé to Ponyville was so that the latter's social life could include more than just herself and the books in the Canterlot library. She then began to continue, but as soon as she said "she also lives in the town library" - which was in fact the first thing she said - my obvious intrigue made her stop. I turned back to Twilight and accepted her offer, saying that it would help to research potential locations of the remaining ingredients. However, before I could finish the word 'research', Twilight squees, picked up me and my belongings - Poeni included - and started happily cantering off to her house, jubilantly bidding goodbye to the princess as she did.

"Goodbye, Twilight! Have fun, Briar!" the Princess replied with a sarcastic wink that was aimed at me.

"Oh, I'm certain I will," I retorted with a clearly-unamused face

------

When we arrived, Twilight seemed surprised to see her assistant waiting for her. She introduced him and I - whose name is Spike, by the way - before explaining to him why I'm here, and that I'm a good friend of the Princess. However, when Twilight introduced us, I noticed that she had referred to her assistant as "a baby dragon". He was definitely a dragon, but it was clear to me that - despite his small stature - he was prepubescent. I decided to point this fact out to her, resulting in an exasperated "thank you!" from the purple-and-green reptile, leading me to believe that this had been something that had been annoying him for some time.

Twilight decided to move on to the next topic, immediately offering me the use of her bed for the night, which I respectfully declined. Based upon her facial expression that followed my declination, I knew she would need some convincing, so I didn't wait to give it. I explained that there would be a high chance that I would end up curled up on the floor anyway. When Twilight then pushed the subject by asking me to specify further, I took advantage of her analytical personality and gave her what she asked for.

"95%," I specified with an amused grin.

"Oh..." she muttered in response, furling her lips.

After several moments of awkward silence, Twilight finally submitted and began making her way up the staircase to her room - with her already-sleeping assistant on her back - before turning back half-way to bid me goodnight.

Sure enough, I ended up falling asleep with Poeni in the center of the library floor.

OVER THREE THOUSAND WORDS! A NEW PERSONAL BEST FOR ME!

Chapter 3: Starting Research

I do not know why, but I have never required much sleep. It has never bothered me much, though, nor did it now, as it gave me some extra time alone for the morning. I must say, I love mornings. The tranquility alone is enough to make me internally-giddy! Additionally, the magestic beauty of the sunrise, the peacefulness of the dewdrops as they rest upon the leaves, as well as the slight-chilliness of the early morning air all make me thankful that my wings are wrapped to my body. If you know what I mean. However, this morning was going to be different that most, as I felt that I should give a turn at philanthropy for a change, deciding to make some breakfast for Twilight and Spike. It only seemed to be the proper thing to do, considering that they - well, Twilight at least - had been so...eager to offer to house me. Fortunately, I wasn't pushed to make anything exquisite, not that I wasn't capable - I can make a mean peach cobbler...though that probably isn't quite fitting for this time and place - but more-so because I didn't know what they would like, so I didn't want to make something they wouldn't eat. There's few things that I dislike more than wasted effort. For some odd reason, I have an urge that I should point out that being chased through a forest by a dragon with a blood-lust is one of those few things. Anyway, going back to the meals, Poeni even decided to help me out, choosing of her own accord to use her naturally-high body temperature to keep the food from getting cold, which solved the only problem that would have kept me from getting straight into starting my research.

Since I didn't have that problem, I did just that, taking great care to clearly mark where on the bookshelves I get each of the books I take from. Even with the limited amount of details that Princess Celestia had provided me about her student, I could still diagnose the Element of Magic with severe Obsessive-Compulsive disorder, and the ease of which I could do it didn't help much, either. Considering how bad I am - with only mild OCD - I didn't want to take any chances with the organization of the library. Frankly, I don't at all think that having made breakfast would nearly suffice as collateral were I to mess anything up. So as to not mess anything up, I put together my own little 'system' in addition to my marking: the books I decide to use I neatly stack in the center of the room in stacks of at most four books, to reduce the risk of them falling over. Then, once I had massed together about five stacks, I would sit down in the center and begin skimming through them, again using a clear-marking system, but this time in the actual books, to signify any particular sections of interest. Finally, I'll place the books that lacked any interesting sections in a separate pile, so that I wouldn't accidentally select the same book from the shelf again. This process then cycled for about..........a while, let's leave it at that.

------

After a while, Poeni breaks my concentration by wriggling herself in front of the book I was currently reading through. I grin and start petting her.

"Oh hey, Popo, I thought you had decided to keep their food warm for them!" I said, ruffling her feathers playfully.

"She did," came a feminine voice from behind me.

I turn and see Twilight in the entryway at the room, looking around at the shelves, levitating her plate of food I had made for her in front of her. She comes and sits next to me to eat, slightly leaning into me due to the chilliness of the morning air. When she finishes her food, she levitates one of the books I had piled and begins assisting me in my research.

------

After infinitely many hours of research, lasting over a course of several days, we finally put together enough information for me to go off of. In fact, the other Elements of Harmony dropped by every now and again to help out. Strangely, however, the most frequent visitor of them was Rainbow Dash, which makes it incredibly difficult to not jump to any conclusions about...well, a number of things. Regardless of that, the first of the things we found was regarding the two most common ingredients - oak branches and palm leaves - which both can easily be found northeast of town, in the Whitetail Woods, where the annual Running of the Leaves takes place. In fact, the trees in question for the Running of the Leaves are oak trees, so all I would need is permission from the Ponyville mayor for permission to cut off a couple branches, since the Whitetail Woods is town property. Fortunately, considering my connections with Princess Celestia and now with the Elements of Harmony, obtaining such permission is - in this case - easier done than said. Hell, for all I know, Twilight could have gone out and gotten it for me already. *shrug* All things considered, this is a good example, though, of how obtaining 'connections' comes quite in handy. As for the palm leaves, there are a number of palm trees just outside of the woods itself, such as where the finish line traditionally is for the Running of the Leaves. There's actually about five palm trees within several yards from where the winner's podium was this past Running of the Leaves.

However, there was one thing we discovered that trumps practically all else: the location of frankincense. As it turns out, even though frankincense is almost impossible to find in Equestria, is apparently is quite common among traders in Zebravana, the zebra homeland to the south. Twilight told me of a zebra hermit who lives in the Everfree Forest - whose name she tells me is 'Zecora' - whom she offered to introduce me to. However, I decided to make sure I got the oak branches and palm leaves first, before I went to meet Zecora, as I wanted to make sure I got those first two out of the way. We were hoping that Zecora could give me some more information about how I could go about obtaining some frankincense, or perhaps even if she might have some herself. If she did have some frankincense herself, however, I would be highly reluctant to ask for it, though, for several reasons: first, if somepony randomly came up to me and asked me for my rare ingredient, I would in no way be willing to oblige; and second, the fact that it is such a rare ingredient speaks for itself, at least in my opinion.

Speaking of which, that actually reminds me: I thought I had seen some cinnamon trees while I was in the Everfree Forest, but was unable to get a closer look, considering that I was being chased by a fucking dragon. Actually, it could have also been cassia, since both cinnamon and cassia are both of the same genus - cinnamon is Cinnamomum verum, and cassia is Cinnamomum aromaticum.

A/N: I actually didn't know that these two were of the same genus until I did more research on the ingredients themselves, which I started doing after I had already begun writing the story. xD

I definitely need to check that out when Twilight escorts me later to meet Zecora. And, if I do manage to find cinnamon and cassia on my way to meet Zecora, then all I would have to worry about would be the spikenard, the remaining myrrh, and the frankincense, the latter of which being what we would be going to ask Zecora about anyway. This was going a lot more smoothly than I would have expected it to...I guess it does pay off to get help from others, even though I might not have before wanted to get anypony else involved in my affairs, even if even I didn't realize it before.

However, I decided that I should find out where I could potentially obtain the remaining ingredients, just in case, say, the spikenard would also be in Zebravana, so that I could get it there if I would have to go there for the frankincense. I didn't want to have to make any unnecessary back-tracks. Thus, it was back to the books for me. Twilight, meanwhile, decided to go over and visit Zecora herself to ask her about the frankincense. At this rate, we could have Poeni's pyre lit by week's end. Well, unless I would have to travel to Zebravana to purchase some frankincense from a Zebra trader, but I digress. Regardless of anything, everything was going much quicker than I had previously anticipated.

Chapter 3.5: Every One of My Stories is Required to Have One of These

You MAY need to change your background color for this one.

A/N: Wow...that last chapter is a LOT shorter than I would like it to be, but I still can't find any way to add to it. Meh. That's why there's more chapters, I guess, though I will probably have to combine this chapter with the next to meet EqD's 3k word per chapter limit. However, I think that limit only applies to stories that are submitted one chapter at a time, which would not be the case here. Oh well, this author's note is long eno--

"Hey there!"

Pinkie! I told you to stay out of this story!!!

"I know you did, but I couldn't resist! Going through what used to be the fourth wall but isn't anymore because I broke it is just SO MUCH FUN!"

...well fuck, you've already started. Go ahead and wear yourself out, Pinkie. Readers, I apologi--

Woohoo! I've always wanted to be able t--

Pinkie, where are your quotation marks?

Quotation marks are too manestream. Spelling intended by the way.

...lovely.

I know right?! Anywho, Ive always wanted to be able to talk directly to the readers but Mr Author here is always being a Mr Meanie Pants and never lets me because of things such as its not related to the story or or other things I cant remember them right now because Im so excited that I finally get to talk to the readers Ive never been this excited since um since ooh there was this one time at band camp no wait thats one of the authors marching band stories oh I havent been this excited since I finally got Cranky Doodle Donkey to be my friend yes I know that was rather recent but I get this excited a lot Im not sure if its because of the energy drinks I drink or if its because of all of the sugar I eat since I work at Sugarcube Corner for Mr and Mrs Cake who are very nice by the way and they have twins isnt that neat but the funniest thing is that one is a unicorn and the other is a pegasus but Mr and Mrs Cake are both earth ponies and and Im starting to feel tired all of a sud--*thud*

...oh, of COURSE she falls asleep before I get the chance to knock her out. ...hm...should I just wring the rest of this cloroform back into the bottle since I didn't get to use it, or......oh sweet Celestia, I just heard a crash...

*voice in background: Oops! My bad!*

Oh my Cel--Derpy! That better not have been the fridge!

...

It WAS? How? It's built into the fucking WALL!

...

Oh, well, that does make sense; Pinkie is out to breach every possible wall...

...

Yes, I realize that I'm repeating what you say, but that's only for the readers' sake, since your dialogue is replaced with elipses due to the fact that we're shouting at each other from different rooms - stories, rather.

...

Huh? Speaking of Pinkie what?

...

Oh, you roofied her chocolate milk? THANK YOU!!! Come, Derpy, TO THE DELOREAN! We're going to Basha's! A-muffin-shopping we shall go! Until next time, y'all.

Chapter 4: Oak Branches and Palm Leaves

After Twilight left, I suddenly remembered something, something that immediately caused me to start frantically looking through the books I had out. Sure enough, as one of the many books would confirm, Cinnamomum aromaticum - cassia - is an evergreen, not one of which I had seen while I had been in the Everfree Forest, as much as you would expect to find one there, at least considering the 'ever' part of the name. Fuck! That means that I would have to search elsewhere for it. And that, in turn, meant more research. Now, in addition to having to find a new possible location of cassia, I would need to still find out about spikenard, more myrrh, and frankincense, the last one for more overall information. I considered asking Spike about the spikenard - mainly as a joke - but I knew that his reaction wouldn't be worth the effort of having to explain it, at which point any humor his reaction may or may not have provided would be long gone. Anyway, after several days of being cooped up indoors, I ultimately decided - after mulling it over with Poeni - to go and get the oak branches and palm leaves. As much as I liked being indoors, I knew that Celestia would want me to see her sun at some point.

As it turned out, Twilight had, in fact, gone and gotten permission from the mayor for me to legally obtain some oak branches and palm leaves from the Whitetail Woods, so that was one less stop I had to make. However, I realized that I would need some...help, getting them; I would get them myself, but considering that my wings have had to be wrapped to my body for...Celestia knows how long now, due to injury, I can't...although I have a feeling that Rainbow Dash might be willing to assist me. Well, that is if I could get her attention, since she rarely spends her time near the ground.

As I finished writing a note on my whereabouts to Twilight and posting it on the outside of the door, I was faced with convenience at it's finest.

"Oh, hey Rainbow," I called out to the approaching pegasus, "I was actually just about to go looking for you."

After I had turned away from the library door, I saw Rainbow Dash making her way toward me. I love convenience.

"Really?" she responded inquisitively. "What for?"

"I was just about to head over to the Whitetail Woods to gather a couple of the ingredients I need," I specify to her.

"You know you'll need permission from the mayor to do that, right?" she pointed out to me.

"Twilight already got it for me." I say with a grin, raising up the 'license' - for lack of a better word - as I lock up the library door with the spare key Twilight had given me before she left.

"Ah...and...why do you need me?" the colorful mare asks, and, when I gesture toward my bound wings, she adds, "Right..."

"Shall we go?" I offer, still not knowing whether she's willing.

"I don't see why not," she says with a shrug, "but how many...ingredients are you going to be getting?"

"As many as Poeni deems necessary, to be honest," I confess sheepishly. "It is her pyre, after all. Why do you ask?"

"Well..." the blue blur began, "because it might not hurt to have AJ come with us with a cart or something."

"That's...an excellent idea, actually!" I exclaimed, nodding my head approvingly.

At that note, we both started making our way toward Sweet Apple Acres. Hopefully Applejack wouldn't be too busy to help us out. Fortunately, she wasn't, as she apparently had already finished her apple-bucking for the day, despite it still being rather early, and before we knew it the three of us - along with Poeni - were on our way to Whitetail Woods. Along the way, the two Elements told me all about their own previous experience in the Running of the Leaves, which was brought up as that was the last time that either of them had been to the Whitetail Woods. To say the least, it was an amusing tale.

When we got there, we began collecting in a methodical fashion: Rainbow Dash would break off the oak branches, letting them fall into Applejack's well-placed cart, as she would also do for the required palm leaves. I admit, I felt bad for just standing there while Rainbow Dash and Applejack did all of the work on my behalf, but the two mares only blew me off when I voiced it. Can't argue with that; and hell, I never argue unless I'm 120% certain that I'll win - that's why I'm undefeated in arguments. Anyway, by the time all was said and done, we had only had to fill up Applejack's cart about ¾ of the way full. Apparently, that was all that Poeni felt that she would need for her pyre.

------

As we were on our way back, we came across another convenience in town: we came across Twilight, who was currently heading back to the library after her visit to Zecora's. Well, it would be more accurate to say that Twilight came across us. Well, to put it even more accurately, she snuck up behind us and scared us all not only shitless, but half-to-death as well.

"BRIAR!" came her voice out of nowhere - nowhere actually being behind me, which is something I obviously didn't realize at the time.

Oh sweet Celestia!

I literally jumped in shock, before falling on my back with a painful thud!, which was even more painful do to my wings.

"Ya okay there, sugarcube?" the farm mare asked me, concerned.

"I've been better," I respond as I slowly get back to my hooves, groaning thanks to the consistent pain in my wings. Well, they don't really hurt, per say, but my injury to them makes them...uncomfortable, I guess would be the most accurate word.

After several hasty apologies, Twilight immediately began yapping faster than I can remember even Pinkie Pie ever talking. Well, to me, at least. Obviously she's excited about something. In a fashion that would usually only need to be used to quiet Pinkie Pie, I stuffed a hoof in Twilight's mouth until her mouth stopped moving in futile attempts to speak further. Surprisingly, that lasted about ten seconds before Twilight realized that her attempted words were not being vocalized, and then a highly-amusing five seconds after that until she noticed that the cause of that was my hoof in her mouth. After Twilight calmed down, she looked at me to let me know such, at which point I removed my hoof from her mouth to allow her to speak. Humorously, however, that didn't last very long at all as my hoof ended up back in her mouth after she almost immediately began yapping at the same rate she had been previously. However, after threatening to make damn certain that she wouldn't be able to send any letters to the Princess, she immediately was able to speak slowly enough to be understood.

After what Twilight told us next, I - in hindsight - cannot blame her at all for how excited she was. As it turns out, although Zecora herself didn't have any frankincense - her family back in Zebravana were not only traders themselves, but among their most popular items was - who'da thunk it - frankincense. Now that is some damn-good news! However, the fact that struck me the most was that frankincense was - at least according to Twilight - one of their "most popular items," which caused my deduction to get me excited, as it meant that they would have a ready supply of the ever-so-elusive incense. Long story short, I was one happy camper.

However, as good as that news was, we still needed to get the materials that we already had in Applejack's cart to the library - where we had previously decided to store the materials. Also, I still wanted to determine a location for the remaining ingredients before I started upon any long journeys, especially ones that would bring me outside the borders of Equestria, such as to Zebravana. I'd also like to get to know this 'Zecora' before I would go on a trip to her homeland with her - which is only logical - even though it most likely wouldn't be just her and I on the journey. But as for right now, we felt that we had no time to waste...and in a way...we didn't.

Chapter 5: Trollestia Strikes Again

I almost immediately came across some very good news, mainly about the cinnamon, but also one fact regarding the spikenard. Just one. Albeit rare, cinnamon trees can be found in the Everfree Forest. It seems that I might have seen some cinnamon trees while I was being chased by that dragon after all. On the flip side, however, I was still having extreme difficulty finding anything regarding spikenard. The one fact that I was able to find, however, is...interesting, to say the least. It's that the scent of spikenard is known to attract cats. Why? I have no fucking clue. It just does, and about three different sources confirmed that one fact. Unfortunately, that was the only fact that any source had about it.

At a loss to find any additional information regarding spikenard, I actually had decided to ask Spike if he had any fucking clue whatsoever. He didn't. Fortunately, however, he didn't ask me to explain anything. Most likely because he doesn't really care. Not that I blame him, because I don't. It seems that I would need to go to the Canterlot Archives if I wanted to find anything about it. However, I felt that since the Everfree Forest was just outside of Ponyville I should probably go there and gather some cinnamon. Yes, I realize that I said before that I should try to obtain the ingredients in as few trips as possible, and I still didn't know whether I could find spikenard in the Everfree Forest. I admit, it was more of a 'fuck it' sort of decision.

However, one could make the comparison of the Everfree Forest to the ponynet: not only is it a dangerous place, but it is more importantly a strange place. The forces of nature in the Everfree Forest are, ironically, unnatural. Thus, it would be too great a risk to venture there while looking for more than one ingredient. Far too great a risk. Furthermore, there was no way in hell that I would go into the Everfree Forest on my lonesome any time soon; I definitely didn't want to risk getting chased by a pissed-off dragon again. As a result, the terms of action that I had put together for the Everfree Forest were to go into the forest with several companions, gather only the amount of the ingredient required, and then get the fuck out of there.

I would repeat these points - verbatim - to Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, both of whom had not only offered to accompany me into the Everfree Forest, but they also had offered - adamantly, I might add - to join me to wherever I might be required to travel, Zebravana included. I found that each Elements' reasoning for accompanying me was quite varied. In the case of Twilight Sparkle, I was not at all surprised. First, I knew that considering that I was a good friend of her mentor, she felt obligated to assist me in more-or-less anything I would require. As much as I would want it to be more of her choice, I knew all too well that the combination of her mindset and personality made her as stubborn as a mule -- no offense if you are one. Additionally, I knew that Twilight would more likely than not decide to go with me anyway, as she would come across plenty of things to "learn about". Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was undoubtedly a different story. When I had asked her, she claimed that it was for the adventure. I must admit, by the way, the combination of her body language and her total lack of hesitation, stuttering, etc. immediately confirmed that. I still can't help but feel there's more to it than that, though, yet I still can't jump to any conclusions. Conclusion-jumping never ends well, and the end result is never pretty. In fact, if you would like a comparison, the end result would make a hydra look like an incredibly hot date - when alcohol isn't involved, by the way. Regardless of her reasons, though, I am jubilant that that she is going along with me, though, particularly because she can use her wings, whereas I can't nearly say the same of mine. For now, though, it was time to gather some cinnamon, so Twilight, Rainbow Dash and I put together some supplies, informed the others of our intentions and planned whereabouts, and headed off into the Everfree Forest.

------

As it turned out, we didn't even need the goddamn supplies, let alone have to prepare for the trip. Hell, it wasn't even a trip. There were about five cinnamon trees outside of the fucking forest!!! I was more pissed-off about the time we had wasted preparing for absolutely nothing. Oh well. It's just another convenience I guess. I just hope I don't run out of them any time soon. Anyway, next on the list was spikenard. And it was because of spikenard that I was now in the Canterlot Archives to research it.

------

It's been three days. Three. Fucking. Days. My eyes were bloodshot, and I was straining to keep them open. Even though I don't require much sleep, that doesn't mean that I don't need to sleep at all. After three straight rises of Celestia's sun and of her sister's moon, I knew that I would have to submit to my exhaustion at some point in the upcoming future, especially considering that I had already more than doubled Twilight's personal best of consecutive time spent reading. Not to mention that Celestia's royal guards have started bringing me meals at regular intervals. Am I really this predictable? Meh, what do I care; it's free food.

I really should get some sleep, though. You know that if Vinyl Scratch goes out of her way to personally give you a signed record in an attempt to distract you that you really must be in a bad state. Unfortunately for the disc jockey mare, however, her attempt was mostly in vain. Mostly. It did distract me somewhat, albeit not for very long. First off, as she always has, Vinyl knew my musical fetish: classic rock and the awesome eighties. Damn her! I immediately put it on, as I had long been sick of the silence. What distracted me more, however, was how cream-coated DJ had managed to fit over 100 songs on a single record.

I never knew that records could be used like mix tapes. But then again, mix tapes can't hold nearly that many songs. But hell, how can the record have enough grooves in it for that many songs, anyway--...fuck it. Magic. Problem solved. End thought train. Back to reading. Sweet Celestia, I feel like I'm turning into Twilight...

What had been making me resist the enticing desire to pay my friend Kirby a visit was the dissatisfaction with myself resulting from not finding anything about cassia! Well, at least I was able to find a brief mention of myrrh! Even if it wasn't from a very reliable source...

(Insert fade-in flashback chimes here)

"Hee hee...it's a pop-up! Hee hee!"

(Insert fade-out flashback chimes here)

Yup. Not very reliable. At least I'm easily amused, though. I don't know how I would've lived this long if I wasn't...actually, scratch that. I do know, but that's a story not yet ready to be told.

I looked over at Poeni, who had put together a make-shift nest out of a pile of already-read books. She was asleep, cooing softly with each exhale. It was cute, but not as cute as Fluttershy when she fell asleep while helping Twilight and I with research just last week. Her sleeping was so damn cute that neither of us could at all focus.

I should probably follow her lead, I thought as I slowly started to close my eyes...

"Briar!"

Whelp. So much for that.

"Present! How may I be of assistance?" I sarcastically called back to my unknown disturber; I was far too drowsy to be able to recognize whoever voice it was. Once the voice's owner came into view, however, I gave her an unamused glare.

"I...woke you up, didn't I?"

"Not...quite, Twilight; I only got my eyes halfway closed," I retort, spitting out the last two words more sharply than I would have liked.

"Oh...sorry," Twilight managed to say, chuckling nervously, "but I found something on cassia..."

I immediately jolted to attention. So much for sleeping, too, I guess. Without thinking, I picked up the nearest book and chucked it at the record player, perfectly knocking the needle off of the vinyl disc. Even if you give me a thousand more opportunities, I highly doubt that I could ever be that accurate again.

"Where? How? Tell me now!" I exclaimed, disregarding my rhyme, but also startling Twilight in the process.

"Um...just follow me," she managed, after recovering from my sudden outburst.

I obliged and followed her into the throne room...where something promptly hit me in the face. After gravity pulled what ever had hit me to the ground, I found myself looking straight at the Princess.

"You mad, Briar?" the Princess taunted, bearing a maniacal grin.

I slowly looked down at hat had hit me: it was a medium-sized pouch. And, when I looked inside...

"Yes, I am mad," I stated slowly but sharply as I slowly looked back up at the Princess, whose grin was even more maniacal than before.

"Oh, you are?" she retorted, "I thought you would be happy that I had some raw cassia roots to give you."

Trollestia strikes again.

"I'm mad that I didn't ask you before I doubled Twilight's non-stop reading record," I explained.

"You did?!" exclaimed the unicorn in question.

"You underestimate me, Sparkles," I replied, not averting my unamused gaze from the Princess. I saw Twilight facehoof with my peripheral vision; she didn't like the nickname 'Sparkles' all too much, but she sucked it up because she knew me well enough to know that I could easily come up with something much worse, such as 'Edward'.

Without any warning, Trollestia was replaced by a very serious Princess Celestia; I immediately knew what was going to be taking place next, and I immediately grew just as serious, just as quickly.

Chapter 5.5: Trollestia Gets Serious

There was a long silence that had followed Celestia's sudden decree for everypony to let us speak in private - Twilight and royal guards included.

"It hath been much too long, Briar Rose," bellowed a familiar voice from behind me.

"That it has, Luna," I greeted the younger princess without even having to turn around, "but thanks to your presence I now know without a doubt what this is about. Hey, that rhymed! But anyway, we're not telling them already are we?"

"Only Twilight," responded the elder princess, "and we're going to be showing her."

"Twilight Sparkle would undoubtedly discover the truth on her own," her sister added as she positioned herself so that the three of us stood in a triangle in the center of the throne room, " and s thou very well know, it is best that the truth comes from us."

"Completely understandable," I reply with a nod, before turning back to Celestia, "and by 'showing' I assume you're referring to the stained glass in the 'ancient castle of the royal pony sisters'?"

"Precisely," the lunar goddess answered, "and though shall escort her there anon, during our night. We shall make certain that the moon is full for you."

"Fantastic!" I exclaimed with a sarcastic grin, causing both princesses to laugh in a way only I have ever been able to get them to.

"That's...that's exactly the reason for the second Element we had given you!" exclaimed the sun goddess after she had regained enough control of herself to be able to speak.

"In addition to the obvious Loyalty, I presume?" I question with a smile.

"Why, of course!" exclaimed the younger sibling, "Thou had stood by us all the while...and thou had continued to do so even through the battle with Discord..."

"Something that the stained glass shows in great detail," I point out with a smirk, flipping my blind-bangs out of the way as I do. The sight of my right eye causes both princesses to grimace at the memory it caused.

"Oh, don't give me pity for my 'sacrifice'," I add, lowering and shaking my head, "you both know damn well that I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Honestly, that's what scares me the most," confesses Celestia.

"What scares us the most," adds her sister, "is that thou continue to decline our offer to rule alongside us...an offer that still stands, might we add."

"And it'll continue to stand," I immediately respond, "I'm a follower, not a leader; and besides, if I was the latter, I'd be a shitty one! We've gone over this countless times before!"

"So be it," finalized Celestia, getting us back on track, "my sister and I will inform Twilight that she is to follow you tomorrow night without question. After we do, we'll teleport you both back to Ponyville."

"Keeping it vague, I like it!" I exclaim with a laugh as I start to take my leave, "I'll see you both tomorrow night!"

"Likewise," called back the elder princess, "just don't bring a dragon with you!"

I simply rolled my eyes with a sigh, and sent in Twilight after I had left the room.

Preface (and Reference)

I would like to begin this preface with what a preface is for: a quick note from the author.

I have started a number of different stories, yet as I'm writing this I have only completed one of them, and I think I'm beginning to figure out the reason why. I need to fully understand what my skills are as a writer, not what I want my skills to be. If I can't figure that out, then I shouldn't be writing. Simple as that. I realize that I need to take my time when I'm writing; even though my quick-release chapters of a couple of my stories do draw consistent lulz from some of my loyal readers, that itself is a problem: my loyal readers. It would be disturbingly accurate to describe these 'loyal readers' of mine in regard to my chapters as telling stories around a campfire, except adding a little something different to the story each time, but still getting laughs from the same dozen or so guys. Yeah, you heard me. A dozen. That's how many people I believe account for a vast majority of my total views. Anyway, onward to the story - a story that will hopefully cause you to shit bricks...assuming that there's a positive connotation to that figure of speech, that is...

~~Brendan Kirk "Da Beejees" Julian

EDIT: I've actually decided that it would be beneficial to you readers if I provided some basic information about the different 'ingredients' that I will be mentioning throughout the course of this story.

The ingredients:

Myrrh
Cinnamon
Cassia
Frankincense
Spikenard
Oak branches
Palm leaves

(I won't include the last two in this, though, due to how common they are)

Details:

Myrrh

Commiphora myrrha

Physical form: Resin made from dried tree sap
Abundance: Extremely rare
Obtained from/as: Small, thorny trees
Random fact: At times in ancient history it was often considered to be just as valuable as gold, and at other times more valuable than gold
Image:

Cinnamon

Cinnamomum verum

Physical form: Inner bark
Abundance: Pretty damn common
Obtained from/as: Small shoots of trees
Random fact: The phoenix builds its nest from cinnamon and cassia, but also uses it as the 'tinder' for it's funeral pyre.
Image:

Cassia

Cinnamomum aromaticum

Physical form: Bark
Abundance: About as common as its close relative, listed directly above
Obtained from/as: Whole branches and small trees
Random fact: Most of the spice sold as cinnamon in the United States and Canada is actually cassia.
Image:

Frankincense

Boswellia sacra

Physical form: Resin made from dried tree sap
Abundance: Rare, mainly due to the venemous snakes that inhabit the trees that it's harvested from (I doubt that that will be included in the story though)
Obtained from/as: Aromatic resin
Random fact: It is used in incense and perfumes.
Image:

Spikenard

Nardostachys grandiflora

Physical form: Flowering plant
Abundance: Relatively rare
Obtained from/as: Essential oil made from grinding up the plant's rhizomes (underground stems)
Random fact: For some reason, the scent of spikenard attracts cats. Do NOT ask me why, because I have NO fucking clue.
Image:

Chapter 1: Over the River and Through the Woods, to Get Away from the Dragon

My name is Briar Rose. Yeah, my last name is Rose, laugh it up. Better? Good. I am not like most other ponies...at all, especially considering that most ponies never have to get all worked up about having to run for their lives through the Everfree Forest from a deadly dragon that they just stole from, but that's momentarily beside the point. As for right now, I feel that before I get too into the details of the...unfortunate situation I currently find myself in, I should tell you a little bit - okay, a lot - about myself while I still have the chance. Sound good? Good.

First off, it would make sense if I told you about what I look like...no, not to brag; hell, I don't really have anything to brag about! Remember, you're talking to a stallion with the surname 'Rose' over here. But then again, my family has a...history of...fragrances. Yes, that was foreshadowing, well, kinda...sorta...okay no, it really wasn't. But we're beginning to get off on a tangent. Okay, to start off simply - and bluntly - my coat is a light shade of gold; not yellow, gold - light goldenrod, to be specific. Any more specific and I'll be listing off hex triplets. As for my fluid mane and long-and-straight tail, they are a mix of two colors, crimson red and regular goldenrod.

There is one thing I feel that I need to specifically point out about my mane, well, several things, actually. First, it is a medium-long to a longish in length, more-so in the back than the front, but it isn't by very much at all. Next, I feel that the consistency and such of my hair is absolutely perfect -- no, I'm not a pansy, pun intended, but just give me a second here, aight? Everything I say I'm saying for a reason...usually. Just don't judge me; I'm quite capable of judging myself. I'm being chased by a dragon, remember? Alright, well, it's silky enough to feel good - yeah, you're right - really good...and that shouldn't be taken out of context - but it's also just greasy enough for my 'bangs' - even though that is what they're called, my stallionliness is making me reluctant to call them such - to stick to each other just enough for them to form and act pretty much just like window blinds, except the 'window' in this case would be my right eye.

No, I'm not 'emo'! What did I say about letting me finish? Besides, if I was 'emo', I wouldn't be able to see through my 'blind-bangs', which I am as of right now coining them. Yeah, on the spot - damn straight. Anyway, the point of these 'blind-bangs'...well, I should probably mention that - for reasons I'd rather not talk about, at least not yet - my right eye is extremely sensitive to light, as well as partially multi-colored, but I'll get to those details in a bit. So, these 'blind-bangs' function to serve as a 'light barrier', if you will: not letting in enough light to affect my vision in that eye negatively, while on the other hoof, letting in just enough light to allow me to see through them.

Alright, now to talk about my eyes themselves. First off, my left eye is perfectly normal, and I hope it stays that way, too. Ah, and it's also just as ruby red as the eyes of a certain DJ mare you might of heard of before. Anyway, in respect to my right eye...well...you'll be fortunate to come away with anything from the best description I can provide: originally, my right eye was also ruby red - shocker! However, it's now...now what many ponies call a sort of 'silverish-red', although those same ponies also say that they can also distinguish between the two extremely effectively, especially - according to them - when my right eye is hiding behind my 'blind-bangs', as they claim that that causes all of the red in my right iris to...melt away, leaving only silver poking out from between my semi-greasy pillars of mane. Yes, I know that isn't very definitive, but, understandably, I have to simply take their word for it, no? By the way, I just thought you might want to know that many ponies also believe that the silver in my right iris was caused by an injury of some sort. Unfortunately for your patience, though, I ain't saying jack shit about it...yet. Don't worry, that one is definitely foreshadowing.

Moving on, one particular thing about my right eye is the difference in the diameter of the dilation of the pupil between whether it is Celestia's sun or Luna's moon that graces the sky above: during the day, my right pupil is only about the size of a pinhead! It's so sensitive to the sun - and thus sensitive to light - that it has actually attracted the attention of some ponies in the past: by this point, I'm completely unphased by random ponies shoving their face into mine in some weird attempt to find where my pupil has run off to. That doesn't make it any less awkward, though. However, on the flip side, when it's nighttime, you could basically say that - to use another pun - my pupil nearly eclipses my iris. In cases when the darkness is overwhelming, my 'blind-bangs' would have basically served as a pirate's eye-patch would - adjusting my eye to the dark so I have night-vision at the ready.

I utilize this now, as Luna's moon is starting to make its accent while I am still galloping ahead of the dragon, maintaining my speed as I give a flip of my 'blind-bangs', resulting in near-perfect night vision within a matter of sheer seconds!

With this new and improved eyesight - in combination with the dragon's receding eyesight as Celestia's sun itself receded from sight in the sky, I pushed myself further so as to increase the distance between myself and my reptilian-esque pursuer. As I continued galloping, I tried to shake the thought of how neither myself nor the pursuing dragon had either tired out or wiped ou--

Fan-fucking-tastic. I just had to jinx myself, didn't I?

By some joke pulled by the threads of fate, one of my hooves snagged on what I admit was a disturbingly well-hidden tree root, causing me to somersault for several yards further, before crashing to a painful halt. Still, I refused to hesitate. I couldn't hesitate; even if the dragon's eyesight was diminishing with the daylight, I didn't exactly crash quietly. I quickly pushed myself up and forcefully managed to push my body weight in such a way that I immediately had hopped off of the path and into the neighboring foliage before the dragon could catch up to the spot where I had fallen. With nothing else to waste, I immediately began taking a route perpendicular to the path I had originally been on, only stopping for a quick status check once I had shortly reached a small clearing. I swear, if only my wings weren't currently unusable due to an injury I suffered on them about a week ago, I would have been long gone; sure, the dragon could fly, too -- which surprised me when it didn't -- but I would've had too much speed and agility for it to have nearly been able catch up. Key word: would've.

The very moment that I had reached that small clearing, I dropped to my haunches. I was absolutely exhausted, so much so that my lungs were burning due to how quickly I was forcing deep breaths. Fortunately, those were the only things that were burning - adrenaline had long caused my limbs to go numb. opening up my saddlebag on my right. Inside was my pet, and friend for several lifetimes over, Poeni: an ancient phoenix, for whom I was going through all of these ordeals for. She still looked sickly: her vividly-colored feathers weren't nearly as vibrant as usual - they looked rather dim in fact - her body language and stature was much more sluggish, and the...the feeling you got just from being around her let you know that she was nearing her end...er, beginning, rather; after all, she is a phoenix. But since she is an ancient phoenix, this more specifically meant that she was nearing the time when she would need to light her ritual funeral pyre to be reborn, which actually is the reason for why I am now being hunted down by that dragon; what I had stolen from it was one of the required ingredients for Poeni's ritual pyre. I opened up the saddlebag on the other side to show Poeni a sack - a sack that I had filled earlier with said ingredient, back at the dragon's cave.

"One down, Popo!" I cheerfully coo to my avian companion.

It turns out that I might had said that a bit too loudly. The next thing I knew, I heard another, closer, dragon roar. My eyes widened. Fuck. Hastily, I threw the sack into the saddlebag that I had taken it out of, literally shoved Poeni into the other, and immediately began hightailing it in the opposite direction of the bloodthirsty roar, barely managing to fling my saddlebags onto my back as I did. I honestly didn't even care which direction I was heading, so long as it was away. However - as I would later discover - the direction I chose was that of the small, homely town of Ponyville...