Do Robot Ponies Dream of Electric Cellos?
"Tavi, can we have a talk?"
Octavia turned off the tap, humming, as she placed the dishes in their rightful place in the cupboard, and turned to the table, at which Vinyl was sitting, a look of nervous hesitation on the white unicorn's face. Must be something important, Octavia mused as she dried her hooves with a towel and sat opposite Vinyl, all ears. She had never seen Vinyl this... agitated. Excited - yes. A little nervous - definitely. On the day she asked me out, the cellist remembered with a smile. But this - this was new.
"I..." Vinyl chewed on her bottom lip. "I need to tell you something."
Octavia's heart made a leap to her throat and back. It's either bad news or a... The word 'proposal' did not enter the grey mare's mind. Still, there was a certain hope. "Yes, Vinyl." Octavia smiled warmly at her DJ. "Don't worry. You can tell me everything." The reality was probably something closer to, "Tavi, I spent all our savings on those new turntables" or, "Tavi, I accidentally killed a local policepony so we need to escape to Marexico right now." Mentally, Octavia sighed. Definitely not a proposal.
Vinyl took a deep breath. "I'm an android."
Octavia blinked. What. "What?" she echoed her thoughts.
Vinyl winced. "I, Vinyl Scratch, am an android."
For a moment, Octavia just looked at her marefriend in disbelief. Then, she laughed light-heartedly. "Well, Vinyl, if you're into this thing tonight~" she purred, knowing how wild her DJ's imagination could be.
Vinyl looked at her mare sadly. "No, I'm serious. I'm not a pony." She tapped her chest. "I'm not even a living being. I'm an android." She frowned. "A robot."
Again, Octavia reiterated, a little more astonished this time, "What?" She looked at the unicorn, her eyes shielded by the everpresent purple shades. "What do you mean?" Of course, there were robots. Octavia was not a fool. Equestrian technology was rather advanced. But not that advanced. It had to be a joke.
"I'm artificial." Vinyl took off her shades, revealing her beautiful, mesmerising red eyes. "Look into my eyes, Octavia. What do you see?"
Octavia did not need any time to reply. "I see the most beautiful eyes in Equestria, the eyes of my marefriend, the DJ Vinyl Scratch."
Vinyl chuckled - a gesture so dark that it sent shivers down the cellist's spine. "What you see is two Retineigh camera displays, capable of perceiving two million shades of colour and recognise movement, alteration and emotion, as well as show it."
Octavia's mouth fell agape. "You... What are you talking about?" Paraphrasing that, she added, "How do you know.... um, all those words?" Robots were supposed to be smart, if science-fiction had taught her anything about them. Androids, at least. Vinyl was... far from smart. Usually, words that contained more than two syllables were troublesome for her to pronounce.
"Tavi, I am intelligent," Vinyl said indulgently. "Do you think I'd be so stupid to reveal my wit? That would raise suspicion."
"But... why?" Octavia felt the room around her spinning. Androids don't exist, she repeated to herself, like a mantra. Androids don't exist.
"See," Vinyl began, "androids are... robots. Equipment. Used to perform difficult tasks." She chuckled her dark chuckle again. Octavia did not like this chuckle. It scared her. It scared her so deeply. "Somepony's gotta work the coal mines. Gem mines. Farm rocks. Stuff like that. We're mass-produced labourers, given intelligence to sustain ourselves. Where we work," she elaborated, "there are android managers and android directors, android scientists to make the work more productive." Vinyl rubbed her forehead tiredly. "Equestria does not end with Manehattan and Canterlot."
"So..." Octavia braced herself. The room stopped spinning. For a while. "What does it change? I mean... Damn, that's ridiculous. You are my marefriend. A pony. Hell, you have all the..." The cellist blushed slightly. "Mare parts."
Vinyl nodded. "Of course I do." She paused. "And it changes much. We are not allowed to communicate with ponies. We are not allowed to escape the reservations we live in. We are segregated." Another pause. "And I escaped." Seeing Octavia's shocked - yet silent - posture, she continued. "I escaped. I did not want to work at the coal mine. I wanted to make music. Beautiful, wonderful music." The DJ smiled. "Naturally, I changed my identity. I changed my appearance. I became famous in the music word. And then I met you."
"Yes." Octavia nodded. "You met me. And you asked me out. And we're dating. And this must all be a joke." Please, let it be a joke.
Vinyl sighed. "The only thing an android can't change is this." She tapped her chest and closed her eyes. And - Octavia shrieked. Right where the heart was supposed to be, the fur and the skin ripped apart, uncovering a well-connected set of wires, connected by a metal junction. "This." Vinyl closed the gap immediately. Octavia still saw it before her eyes. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to unsee it. "What's on the inside. Wires and machinery. There's no heart. When I promised you my heart, I lied."
Octavia would have collapsed to her knees if she were not sitting tight. "This..." She rubbed her temples. "Insane. This is insane. This must be a dream. I want to wake up. Right now."
"Some philosophers say that all life is a dream," Vinyl observed, watching her cellist's reaction quietly.
For a few minutes, the two mares fell silent. When the ticking of the clock became unbearable, Octavia spoke up. "This doesn't change anything. You are my marefriend. You are alive to me. I won't give away your secret. I love you and you love me." Octavia stood up and walked towards the white mare. "I love you. Look into my eyes." Vinyl looked into her eyes sadly. "I love you."
"I don't."
Vinyl's words hit like a hammer. Now, Octavia did collapse to her haunches. "What?.." She stared at the DJ in disbelief. "But... You... We..."
"I can't." Now, there were tears in Vinyl's eyes. "Androids can't feel love towards ponies." She was openly crying now. "We were given an array of feelings. Compassion. Hope. Sadness. Happiness. Despair. Sexual longing. Not love. Androids can only feel love towards androids," she said. There were tears, but no sobs. "We were made this way. So that androids could make families with androids. Reproduce. We can reproduce, you know? The natural way, only with some technical assistance."
Octavia did not listen. She did hear everything, but - she could not listen to it. "You don't love me." The cellist tried to stand up. She failed. "You can't love me, even. Even if you wanted to." This time, she did manage to stand up. She looked into Vinyl's eyes. Suspicion. Pain. Distrust. "Do you even want to? Do you even want to love me? Did you ever want-"
"Yes!" Vinyl interrupted her, shouting. "Yes, I did! Yes, I do! Every. Single! Day!" The DJ collapsed against the wall, crying, tears streaming down her fur. "But I can't feel anything but sexual longing and mild attraction!" She laughed sourly, coughing harshly afterwards. "I don't even know what love is! I don't know what it's supposed to feel like! I've never loved an android. I... I want to love you!" Vinyl crawled towards Octavia. The cellist took a step back. "Every day, I wish that I could be a pony. So that I could love you. So that I could know what loving you, really loving you feels like. But androids can't become ponies. It only works the other way round."
"The other way round?" Octavia asked immediately.
Vinyl winced. "You don't wanna know. I didn't want to say it. I didn't mean to say it."
"Tell me." Octavia took a step forth. "If I've been dating an android all this time, I want to know everything."
Vinyl sighed. "There are certain... facilities. For... changing ponies into androids. Well, not really," she amended. "More like... cyber-ponies. They install certain modules that gradually replace your brain and nerves and... It's illegal, of course," she supplied. "But there are such facilities all about the cities. The government needs new androids. In poor districts, shady neighbourhoods, disguised as laundries or something of the kind..."
"Why would anypony in their right mind want to become an android?!" Octavia demanded, stomping her hoof against the floor. Aching, shocked sadness was giving way to painful, poisonous anger.
"Because..." Vinyl paused. "Because some ponies want to live - even if they have a terminal disease. Because... some ponies want to live with an android. Feel what they feel. Be loved and love them back."
Octavia took a fearful step back. "They paid you," she said in a sudden realisation. "They sent you to seduce me so that I'd become a... a robot?! And then you'd ship me to a coal mine?" Octavia almost pressed her muzzle into Vinyl's. "Do they ship you? Like cattle?"
Vinyl took a step back, droplets of tears in her eyes. "No! How could you- I would never... You hate me," she realised. "You hate me now."
"Of all days..." Octavia avoided the statement. How could she reply to such an accusation if she didn't even know what to think? "Of all days to tell me this, you chose today. Hearth's Warming Eve."
Vinyl remained silent.
"Thank you, Vinyl," Octavia said venomously. "Thank you so much. It's a wonderful present. Happy Hearth's Warming, Vinyl." With that, she turned round and walked out of the kitchen. "Don't search for me," she said, putting on her scarf and boots.
The door closed with a clink. Vinyl sighed. Her tear ducts needed refreshing and she didn't want to drink any water. Exhausted, she walked to the bedroom.
If she had a heart, it would probably be broken beyond repair.
***
Octavia walked the snowy street, white flakes hitting her straight in the face.
On the corner of Strawberry Street and Lavender Street, she stopped and walked into a narrow maze of houses, walking the tiny paths carefully. Ragged ponies glared at her from all directions, making her scared and uncomfortable. Finally, she stopped before an old building. The stone was wet with snow and the plaster was fading. The lopsided sign read, Laundry.
Octavia stepped inside. Nothing special met her gaze. Washing machines. A back door. A counter. A weary, gruff stallion behind the counter. "Good evening," she said.
"Evenin'," the stallion replied. "We're closing up."
"I..." Octavia took a step forth. "I want to... I want to take a look at your... advanced facilities."
The stallion raised his brow. "D'you think I have a brothel here?"
Octavia winced. For a moment, she considered just getting out. There was another way. There were plently of other ways. Move to another city, for example. Hang myself up in the bathroom. Octavia shook her head. "I want to become an android."
"You what?!" the stallion barked in evident disbelief. "Listen, missy-"
"I want to become an android," Octavia repeated, taking a small pouch full of bits out of her saddlebag. "I hear you can offer such a service, for a price." Suddenly, she realised the absurdity of the situation. This... Vinyl could easily be the only android in existence. This facility could easily be a laundry. Hell, there might be no such facilities in all of Equestria! For Celestia's sake, she might be just dreaming!
"Listen, missy." The stallion opened his mouth, but closed it immediately, looking at the grey mare. Scrutinising her. Estimating her. "All right," he said finally. "You do realise that what you are asking me to do is illegal and is punishable, right? You do realise that the changes are irreversible and we're not responsible for anything that happens to you, right?"
To both questions, Octavia nodded. Still, she asked, "Will you sent me to the coal mines? Will I... lose my memories? You'll wipe them out, right?"
The stallion erupted in thick, ill laughter. "Listen, missy. I don't know what sci-fi books you have read, but we don't do that kind of stuff. You pay us money, we install the chip. It does its job over two days. We do not care who you are. We don't need your passport. We don't care what you do next. To everypony, you'll still be a pony. Except to her."
Octavia blinked. "How do you know- I mean, why do you think- I mean-"
"Experience," the stallion said with a sad, sour smile. "Have an eye for that kind of things."
Octavia nodded. "Will it hurt?"
The stallion shook his head. "Like a bee's sting."
Octavia nodded. "Good."
Taking a deep breath, she followed the stallion to the back door.
***
Vinyl Scratch lay on the bed, her eyes staring at the ceiling, unblinking.
She didn't need to blink. But she wanted to. So she blinked. Once. Twice. The tears in her eyes had long dried. She hadn't had anything to drink in a while. Why should she? Why keep up the pretense now? The secret was out. So was Octavia. Out. Of the flat. Of her life. For sure. How could she have been so stupid? How could she- Why did I tell her that? Vinyl gritted her teeth. The enamel screeched dangerously. Would it crack?
The door opened with a silent screech. For a moment, Vinyl thought that her teeth just echoed the sound to the corridor. Then, her analysis centre gifted her with the most logical conclusion: Octavia was home! But... That didn't mean she was home for good. She could be home to pick up her bags and leave. Forever. Her analysis centre told her sadly that it was definitely the most logical possibility. Vinyl told her analysis centre to go buck itself. Against an apple tree.
Octavia entered the room silently, without turning on the light. She slid into bed, under the covers, and wrapped Vinyl in an embrace. "Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, love," she whispered into Vinyl's ear. Vinyl's emotional centre went wild with confusion. "I have a present for you. I'll show it to you tomorrow."
Vinyl nodded slowly. Something was off... But... Did it even matter when she had her mare right next to her? Vinyl turned to face her cellist and looked into those pools of lavender. A sudden, new emotion sparked within her. An emotion that told her that this mare, here, was her life. That this mare, here, was the only pony she wanted to be with. That this mare, here, was the one, she... lo... The one she... "I love you, Tavi," she said suddenly. "I... I think I do." What the... How can-?
Octavia smiled. "I know you do, Vinyl. I love you too."
"Is... Is everything all right?" Vinyl asked, suspicion crawling into her brain chip. She couldn't have-
"Yes." Octavia closed her eyes and kissed her mare. "From now on, everything will be all right. Always."
