Misanthropic Human In Equestria

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 989

An annoying misanthropic Human is teleported into Equestria and annoys Celestia and other madness.

An annoying misanthropic Human is teleported into Equestria and annoys Celestia and other madness.

Warning: Sex, a Human whining about how Humanity sucks and general stupidness.

This story should not be taken seriously, it was written to take the fucking piss.

Published 2014-01-30 00:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-30 00:10:07 UTC

Misanthropic Human In Equestria

Once upon a time, there was a white alicorn sitting on a red throne in a castle.

Her name was Princess Celestia and today she was about to be visited by an annoying misanthropic Human.

A rumbling sound filled the throne room, Celestia rolled her eyes, knowing full well what was about to happen.

There was a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of a Human wearing a yellow hazmat suit in front of her.

"Yes! I'm finally away from the evil Human race and in the perfect magical land of Equestria!" he shouted.

"Equestria is not perfect you whiny bitch." she said through gritted teeth.

"What are you talking about?! Your land is filled with good and sexy Ponies and every male has gigantic penises!"

"Stop! Just stop! Please, just go to the teleport station outside and go home to your own universe."

"I'm so glad I was randomly teleported into this magical perfect land! Now, I shall ship my self with Luna and have a threesome with Celestia and Luna--

"Shut up! Are you even listening to me?!" she shouted.

"And then I shall save Equestria from a evil demon!"

"Forgive me, but you seem not someone like Commander Shepard or Minsc."

"I also shall help the Ponies to exterminate the Human race, because all Humanity worship Hitler as God."

"I disagree. I'll have you know Human and Ponies have been friends in my universe even before I existed."

"And then I shall--- Wait, what?! How is that possible?! Humans are evil!"

"Oh, did you know there are versions of me, in another universes where I have willingly taken the essence of Bhaal to become the Lord of Murder?"

"Wa.... What? That means you Ponies can be just as evil as Humans!"

"Exactly. Now, get the fuck out of here, before I throw you out!"

Celestia sighed in relief as the Human walked away from her throne.

But then another annoying misanthrope appeared, this time in the form of a counterpart of herself.

"Why are Humans and Ponies friends and having sex with each other in this universe?! Humans are evil!" the other Celestia shouted.

"Oh, not another xenophobic alter ego of me."

"Answer me! Why are Humans and Ponies friends---

"Why am I married to Zoidberg in some alternate universes?! Because like Zoidberg, Humans are also sexy!"

"But Human penises are so tiny!"

"Not true! I've seen many Humans with gigantic penises across the multiverse! Besides genetic engineering and penis growing magic can fix issues like that."

"OK, but Humans are evil!"

"As evil or good as anyone else can be."

She gasped in shock.

"How can you say that?! Everypony knows that all Humanity worship Justin Bieber as God!"

"No they do not! Now, get the fuck out!" she shouted.

"Very well, I shall return to stop you---"A see through, light blue sphere of magical energy appeared around her. "Huh?! Release me at once!"

"Since you were stupid enough to tell me you wanted to harm Humanity, I don't think I will."

"What?! How dare you! I shall destroy you!" she fired red laser beams from her eyes, which didn't effect the magical sphere around her what's so ever." How can this be?!"

"Because I'm more powerful than you, that's why!" she said nothing in response. "Now, I'm going you let you off with a warning this time, but if you dare try hurt Humanity, I will kill you."

With a flash of her horn, she sent her annoying counterpart back to her own universe.

Yet again, there was a blinding flash of light, followed by a large group of dirty and fat male Humans wearing fedoras.

"Fuck this!" with a flash of her horn she made them sparkly clean and gave them all perfect six packs and giant penises, causing them to gasp in shock."There! Happy now?! Now, go fuck Ponies!"

The Humans with big grins on their face walked out of the throne room.

When the Humans left she sighed in relief and teleported herself into her bedroom, where Zoidberg, the red lobster man with his gigantic penis was waiting for her.

"Whoop whoop whoop! Zoidberg gets to fuck the Pony Princess!" he shouted excitedly while he clicked his claws as he walked towards her.

It began with Zoidberg cock slapping her across the face with his mighty penis, she moaned aloud.

But suddenly Zoidberg zipped up his pants causing Celestia to gasp in shock.

"Zoidberg?! How could you! I thought you loved me!" she shouted with tears filling her eyes.

"Zoidberg wants to have sex with your sister! I'm sick of your pussy!"

"Get out!" she screamed.

Zoidberg pulled out his massive penis and masturbated as he walked out the room, while Celestia cried in grief.

Fortunately, some person had sensed this injustice of no sex, which resulted in a blinding flash of light, followed by the appearance of Commander Shepard, whom was naked with his massive mighty penis at the ready to fuck the alicorn.

"Sss...s Shepard? Is that really you." she said timidly.

"Don't worry babe, we'll bang, OK?"

"We'll bang."

Commander Shepard wrapped his arms around the beautiful Celestia and kissed her passionately in a tender display of Human and Pony love. As the Human kissed her, there were tears of joy falling down Celestia's cheeks.

Shepard gently pushed her down onto the bed and then fucked Celestia's marehood with his giant mighty penis, that made her moan in pleasure.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Come in!" she said.

Zoidberg walked in looking down on the ground sadly.

"I'm sorry Celestia, can you forgive me?

"Oh of course I forgive you! Now, come here and fuck me big boy!"

With that Zoidberg whipped out his giant penis, walked over to the bed and began to brutally fuck Celestia up the butthole.

It was a glorious threesome.

The End