Chapters Falling Through the Night
Ever since I can remember I've been falling. Endlessly plummeting through blackness. I am the only thing in this void that is not black. Every moment I've spent here has been spent wishing, hoping beyond all rational boundaries that there is a way out. A way I could put a stop to this eternal descent through infinite darkness.
I can't help but wonder what I could possibly have done to deserve such a dismal rest of eternity. I've tried everything, but its been long enough now that I know. I know that there is no way to escape the clutches of eternal night. No matter how much I fought the oppressive weight of the truth I had to give in. Though I don't except it I do know that I will not only never leave this void, but I will be here till the end of this time because I am immortal. So really I am stuck in time, yet all the while passing through time.
The worst part of all this is that I have not one single happy memory of my previous life. All I can remember are the times when I was full of hate, sadness, or anger. In truth, I've forgotten what it feels like to be happy. I feel that maybe it would be easier to accept my fate if I could go back, just once, and see a happy memory of my family. But really, in truth, they are no longer my family. Instead they are nothing but past acquaintances; acquaintances who abandoned me in my darkest hour. The hour my very identity was stripped away and I was thrown into this void of infinite, eternal night.
This is the moment then; the moment I renounce all ties to my past life. The worst part is, I'm not even sad. Not at all. I guess that just shows how much being here has hardened my soul. Now I feel like my soul is made of iron; perfectly immune to any emotion except despair. I guess it is absolute. I have become an alien doomed to be forever alone. No longer will I trouble my self with what went on in my past nor with the reasons as to why I am here.
From this moment forth I shall only look to the future when I choose to let my thoughts wander. The being that I used to be is gone, dead, and there is no way things can go back. Starting now I accept my fate completely as I have become an eternal, emotionless shell of neither life nor death.
Author's Note
Though she is not actually trapped forever this story depicts that because that is what Luna feels.
I don't know how long I've been here. It all seems the same to me. As soon as I opened my eyes, I forgot everything. All I can remember is the same place I've been. Never changing, never ending, just there.
Nothing moves but me as I walk and walk with no end to this place in sight. Sometimes I think I'm crazy or dreaming, but I know this is real. I feel it in the core of my heart, the very center of my being.
Something I did long ago caused this to happen. This state of eternal punishment. Every moment I've spent here I try to remember. To remember why I'm here. It seems to me that this punishment would be more bearable if I knew what terrible deed could warrant such a state. Something inside me tells me that it will be a long time if ever, before I know. But I try anyway, clinging to that last tendril of hope. The hope that someday I'll figure everything out. Maybe by some miracle things could go back to the way they were. Back to how life was before it was all stolen from me.
Now I wander this same place, seeing nothing but grey stone and thinking, why, why me? Maybe I deserve this fate but that doesn't change how I feel about it. I believe in second chances. No matter how horrible the crime no one should be doomed to a fate like mine. I suppose it doesn't really matter now, but I can't help but wonder, am I the first? The first to be doomed to walk all alone with not even a single memory? Even though I'll probably never know the answer, this question still fascinates me. I'm not sure why; maybe its because I need something to occupy my thoughts. Whether I'm the first or not I mainly just want to know what could cause such a cruel punishment.
I wish I could leave this void for even just a second to see what life used to be. At least then I would have a good memory amongst all these depressing thoughts. I know that can't happen, but a false hope is better than none in my situation. For I am forever alone with what memories I have as I wander through this endless, empty void.
Author's Note
An idea I had for a while. Not sure about quality but its nice to have done it at least.
The pain is too much to bear. I don't know how much longer I can endure. The world is beginning to go dark through this haze of agony. It's been a long time since I had even a second of life that was not saturated with pain. So long, in fact, that I've forgotten what it feels like to live painlessly.
Ever since that fateful night when the power of the Elements tore me apart, I've been dying. Slowly, yes, but dying all the same. I've thought long and hard about what I must do, and I now know what needs to be done. It's time for my life to end. Yes, I still have time left before my life will end naturally, but the pain has proven to be too much. I've given up the fight. It would be so much easier to just close my eyes and let Death take me now rather than force myself to endure a few more decades.
Even if I did choose to keep living, what would I get out of it? A few more years of pain that grows steadily worse over time. That's just not worth it to me. My sister may cry and act depressed for a while after I die, but in truth, she's forgotten all about me. She doesn't talk to the moon anymore because she sees me as a failure, a waste of her time.
She pretty much told me that I was no longer part of the family. The worst part was that she told me after I had already been here for a few centuries, suffering all the while. As she turned the magic of the Elements of Harmony on me, she said that she was sorry and that she loved me, but four hundred years later she tells me I'm a disgrace.
I've suffered four hundred years longer than I needed to. The pain of my body slowly collapsing inwardly upon itself and eating away my organs has grown too much to bear. I am tired of enduring while my body decays.
Every living being flies on wings of borrowed time, but now I have lost the ability to soar through the air. It is time for my wings to splinter fully, for I no longer wish to feel this agonizing pain. Yes, I feel it now; the spell is taking effect. The light is going out and finally the pain has begun to ebb away.