The Princess is Inside in a Tree?
"She lives in a what now?" Richard asked as the ponies led him into a town.
"Yeah, it's hollow on the inside! And she has an owl and a dragon and the tree is a library!" Scootaloo answered.
"She lives inside a tree."
"Yeah. It's like a tree house in reverse!"
"She lives... In a tree."
"Yup!"
"One more time, she lives in a-" Richard tried to ask again, before being interrupted.
"Yes! She lives in a tree! Now shut up about it!" Rainbow Dash turned shouted, her voice cracking a little.
The three fillies and Sherman gave quick glances forward before looking back to each other.
"Now, who made you the boss?" Richard asked.
"I did! Now quiet down, we don't need to attract atten-" Rainbow Dash began, before stopping mid sentence.
"What?" Richard asked before looking around to realize they were all a fair way into the town, and he was getting all the strange looks. He looked around for a minute, before leaning down to Sweetie, "This place is called Ponyville right?"
Sweetie Belle nodded her head energetically. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom shifted nervously. Sherman had to admit, it was a decent town for it to have been built by ponies. But he decided to keep that to himself. After a moment, he waved his arms, "What up Ponyville?! Richard Sherman in the house! Er, town!"
All the ponies stopped and stared at him awkwardly, while Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo facehoofed. Sweetie just looked at him and then to the other ponies. Apple Bloom didn't say anything, but her face quickly showed annoyance. And not that type of annoyance from listening to her Granny, but the type that makes you want to smack someone in the face.
"Well, that's better." Richard said with a slight smile.
"What's better? All you did was shout like an idiot who you are." Rainbow rebutted.
"And that is why you aren't on my level." He responded.
"Human!" The corner and four ponies turned to see a cloud of smoke barreling their way.
They all squinted and strained to see better, before realizing the dust was caused by a mint-colored mare galloping at full speed towards them. Looked over to his pony friends, he asked a question to all of them.
"Uhh... Should we be running from that?"
After a moment, Rainbow Dash nodded, "Yeah, that'd be smart."
Without another word, the group of five turned and ran at full speed from the mare, except for Rainbow Dash, who was flying low next to them. They all dared to take a peak back. What they saw was that the mare had gained some notable ground on them.
"Oh, hell no!" Richard shouted, before snagging up the three fillies and running up directly next to the rushing pegasus.
"Follow me!" Rainbow Dash shouted, turning down an alley, Richard and the Crusaders right behind her. They took repeated turns of alternating directions, before running out of the alleys and in front of an elegant building that looked very similar to a carousel.
"Let's get inside!" Rainbow started, only to have Sweetie Belle step in front of her.
"We can't just go in! What if Rarity is working on something really-" She was interrupted by a loud shout.
"Where's the human?!"
"Get inside!" Sweetie ushered the group inside and slammed the door as hard as she could.
A few moments later, the mint colored mare rushed by the front. Sweetie peaked over the counter and sighed.
"Th' heck is wrong with that pony?" Apple Bloom asked with an eyebrow raised.
Sweetie got out from behind the counter, "Rarity!"
"In the kitchen, darling!" A graceful voice called back.
"Can you come here? I'm with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom and Rainbow Dash and..." She turned to Richard, then back to the direction she was shouting, "And another friend who I think you should meet! I'd explain it to you, but I think it'd be much easier to show you!"
They could hear a slight groan, and a moment later, a beautiful white pony walked out.
"What is it, Sweetie B-" She stopped at the sight of the human and just stared.
After about a minute of silence, Richard decided to break the silence, "You're name is Rarity, right? It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Richard. Richard Sherman." He then gave a gracious bow to the mare. Looking around at the various beautiful dresses around, he smirked, "I'm gonna take a guess and say you're the looker of Ponyville? Perfect for such a talented seamstress!"
Rarity just stood there for a moment, then giggled, "Oh my! Not only can you talk, you're quite the flatterer."
"Not too hard when you're me."
"Careful Rarity, I think he just wants a discount on some new clothes." Rainbow Dash warned.
"Is this true?" Rarity asked with a scrutinizing glare.
"Uh... Sorry, but I'm light on cash at the moment." He chuckled nervously.
She looked at him for a few seconds before smiling, "Well, don't let that stop you from speaking the truth."
"Ahem," Sweetie interrupted, "We're gonna take him ta Twilight, but he said he wasn't dressed good enough."
Rarity looked him over for a few minutes, "True, his current clothes look like a fashion faux pas caught on fire, and then someone had attempted to put it out with an explosion..."
"Hey, these are just my work out clothes!"
"I'd hope so, darling. Alright, come here..." Without another word, Rarity was running up and down Richard with a tape measure, getting everything she would need. She nodded, "Alright, your shape makes it a new experience for me, but I think I can whip up a little something. Hmmm.,... IDEEEEEAAA!"
Rarity pulled out a rack of different colored cloths and instantly began to work on something. It was almost impossible to keep up with how fast she was working. After a few moments, Richard remembered something.
"Hey, Rarity?"
"Yes, darling?"
"I need you to add a little something to the shirt."
"And what would that be?"
Richard pointed to the Seahawks emblem on his chest, "I need this on the front of the shirt. Oh, and if you could put the number twenty-five on the back, that'd be fly."
She took a quick look at the icon before returning to her work, "Alright, I suppose I can work with this. But my dear, those colors are simply too tacky for my tastes. I don't think I'll be able to keep them." At this, Richard sighed.
"Fine, but I think the colors look pretty wicked."
"That's why I'm the one with the business, darling."
_________________________
"Aaaand, It! Is! Done!" Rarity's voice snapped Richard, Dash and the Crusaders out of their midday naps.
Richard rubbed his eyes before looking to see what Rarity had made. It was a black, v-neck style shirt with purple trim along the neck hole and a breast pocket and the Seahawks logo stitched in white sitting neatly on it. On the back, a white twenty-five was also stitched in white. The pants were also black, with a pocket on the left hip and purple trim along both outside seams.
"Damn, girl!" Richard shouted, "This looks sweet! Thanks!"
Rarity smiled, "It was a little bit of a challenge to work with your body type, but try them on and let me know how they fit. Well, go on, now!" Rarity energetically pushed Richard behind a changing blind. After a few moments, he stepped back out. The clothes fit him perfectly.
"Yeah, this is awesome." Richard flexed in his new clothes. They were tight to him without being restraining.
"You look so cool! Almost as cool as Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"It's like, wow!" Sweetie complimented.
"You're in really great shape!" Apple Bloom added.
"Oh my. Quite the physique you have there!" Rarity complimented, while Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"Great, he's dressed. Can we go now?" Rainbow Dash turned towards the door.
"Oh yeah, we need to get somewhere. What do I owe ya?" Richard agreed.
"Well, if you must take off so abruptly. Consider this order a welcome gift. I'm quite certain I'll be seeing you soon."
"What makes you say that?" Richard asked, whilst the Crusaders and Dash nodded.
"Oh, you'll see, darling! Now mustn't keep Twilight waiting. Off you go!" Rarity nudged.
Richard, the Crusaders, and Rainbow Dash took their leave, as Rarity waved good bye.
"Alright, so where does this Princess li-" Richard was interrupted by a very familiar scream.
"Human! Wait for me!" In the distance, the mint pony was again running their way.
"Oh, son of a-"
"Hello ladies and gentlemen. It's Pro Bowl week, before Super Bowl Forty-Eight, and we're here to talk about one thing. X-factors." Colin Cowherd said before turning to Jerome Bettis.
"You know, I always feel like some player is getting too much attention before the big game. I'm talking about Richard Sherman. The guy is a phenomenal player, but he runs his mouth. With all the weapons Denver has on offense, he won't even get a chance to defend a pass-"
With a click, the television turned off. Sighing, Richard Sherman stood himself up and walked out of his hotel room.
Stepping outside of the hotel in his Seahawks hoodie and sweatpants, he glanced at a clock in the pavilion. The clock read exactly five. Nodding, he pulled up his hood, and began jogging. He'd gotten up at five in the morning like a chicken to do his morning run. With a final nod, he began running.
The streets were pretty empty. It was good, because it gave him some time to think. He only had a week before the biggest game of his life. He had caused one hell of a fiasco earlier in the week, proclaiming himself the top cornerback and calling rival wide receiver Michael Crabtree mediocre. The media certain painted him as a villain. Something he didn't particularly care for.
But for him, the only thing that really mattered to him was winning the biggest game of his career.
As he passed a coffee shop, something unexpected happened. A massive flash of light engulfed him.
"Hey, Bill? You see that?" The guy at the coffee counter asked.
"I'm knee deep in expired, knock-off coffee. The only thing I see is I should have finished college."
_________________________
"Okay, fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders! Today is the day we find our special-" Before Apple Bloom could finish her declaration, a large flash of light next to them cut her off. From the light, a cloud of smoke manifested itself.
"What in the hay?!" Apple Bloom shouted in surprise.
"Is this part of the plan?" Sweetie Belle asked her now facehoofing friend.
As the smoke cleared, the fillies could make out a figure of some sort.
"What's that?" Scootaloo asked no one in particular before getting closer to the smoke.
"Don't Scootaloo! It's dangerous!" Apple Bloom warned her friend.
"I'm not looking at you, but I'm rolling my eyes." Scootaloo replied in a sing-song voice.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo slowly came up next to her, and they all stared at the slowly clearing smoke.
"'m gonna ask again. 'the hay is that?!" Apple Bloom shouted and pointed at the mostly cleared smoke.
Out of the remnants of the smoke stepped a tall bipedal creature with braided black hair.
"Ugh, what the heck?" Sherman asked waving the last of the smoke away from his face.
"It can talk!" Three little voices exclaimed.
"Of course I can talk. What kind of person couldn't-" Looking down, he realized the voices came from three very small, different colored ponies, barely up to his knees, "Uh... What?"
The ponies seemed quite weary of him, but the elegant pony spoke first, "Hi mister! I'm Sweetie Belle, who and what are you?"
Sherman scratched the back of his head. Well, he couldn't just be rude, "YOU can talk?! Uh... I'm Richard. Richard Sherman."
Carefully, the orange and purple one spoke, "I'm Scootaloo, this is Apple Bloom. Now... WHAT are you?"
The confused corner took a glance around. Everything was... animated was the only way he could describe it. Looking back to the little fillies, he sighed. Confused was the understatement of the year. After a moment of silence, he spoke.
"Well... I'm a human. You got those around here?"
It was Sweetie's turn to be confused, "What's a human?"
Richard sighed, "Well, that figures."
The three young ponies got even closer. It made him a little uncomfortable, but he didn't want to hurt their feelings.
Before another word was spoken, a rainbow flash knocked him to the ground a good ten yards away from the fillies. Looking up, there was a cyan, winged, rainbow maned pony. The creature was standing on top of him, as it registered she was the one that knocked him down.
"Yo! What's all this about?!" Richard shouted in irritation. The creature didn't say a word, but leaned over to hold her face inches from his own. He had thoughts of just punching the pony off of him, but resisted the urge.
"I don't know what you are, but you're not hurting anypony today! Not while Rainbow Dash is on watch!" She growled.
"Hey, I didn't plan on it, ya crazy fly! You're the one that knocked me over like a Black Friday sale!"
"A likely story! And who you calling a fly?!" The pony named Rainbow Dash replied.
Okay, that was enough. Richard thrust himself up, knocking the creature off him. The pony quickly flapped her wings in time to recover, and now floated at eye level with him.
"Oh, looking for a fight, huh?!" The cyan creature asked, throwing her hooves up like fists.
"Hey, I'm not looking to-" Before he could finish his sentence, the pegasus had again knocked him over, this time with a kick.
Richard quickly hopped up, "You really wanna go? THEN LET"S GO!" He leaned over and flexed his fingers in a defensive back's ready stance.
Rainbow Dash shot at him again, but Richard was ready and sidestepped her. She quickly recovered and came around for another pass, which he was barely able to avoid again. The next pass, he blocked Rainbow Dash's hit, and honked her nose with a smirk.
"What's up, Rainbow? You can't run with me! You ain't on my level!" The elite corner taunted his opponent.
"Oh, it's on!" Rainbow Dash shouted, shooting at him again, much faster this time. Again, he sidestepped, but he could feel the wind whip by him. He didn't want to get hit by that. Rainbow Dash came around again and again, getting faster with each pass. Finally, a hoof connected with his face, knocking him to the ground.
"Ow! Ooh..." He hopped up again, glaring at his speedy opponent, "You really wanna go!?"
"No, I'm about to win though!" Rainbow Dash smirked, shooting at the human once more.
This time, Sherman put up his hands and caught each of Dash's front hooves. He smirked as she frantically tried to break his grip. Feeling triumphant, he felt chatter was in order, "What's up? You can't beat me, I'm the best there is!"
Rainbow Dash responded by crashing her head into her opponent's. Sherman staggered back, blinking rapidly.
Before another movement could be made, the Cutie Mark Crusaders threw themselves in between the two top athletes. Dashie and Sherman both stopped themselves from stepping up again. The rainbow pegasus glanced between the little ponies and the top flight cornerback. After a few seconds, she sighed and lowered herself to the ground.
She glared at the Seahawk before speaking, "Well, I guess you can try and explain yourself. But no funny business! I'll flatten you again before you can do anything!"
He laughed, "Yeah? Funny cuz I swear I was keeping pace with ya."
"I was going easy on you. You could never be on my level!"
"It's true!" Scootaloo interrupted, "She's the fastest flier in Equestria! She can break the sound barrier!"
"Oh..." Sherman chuckled nervously, "Well... I guess thanks for not turning me into manure." He rubbed the back of his head, "Well, I didn't exactly get here because I wanted to see alternate methods of animation."
"Say what now?" Dash asked out of confusion.
"Uhh... nothing. Anyway, I was out on my run, and then a flash of light next to a crappy coffee shop, now I'm here."
"Oh, I know! Let's take him to Twilight!" Sweetie exclaimed in happiness.
"You sure that's a good idea?" Dash asked.
"Who's Twilight?" Richard asked his own question.
"She's a princess! She's also really smart!" Scootaloo explained.
"Well... Alright then. Not exactly dressed to impress though." Richard said, pointing at his outfit.
"Oh, I'll bet my sister Rarity can make you some clothes!" Sweetie exclaimed.
"Ugh!" Rainbow Dash groaned, "Fine! But I got my eyes on you!"
"Oh, I'm real scared! Oh, a rainbow is gonna beat my behind!" Sherman feigned cowering in fear, further irritating the pegasus.
"What was that, ya stupid jerk?! Well, at least my mane doesn't look like animal poop! How dumb are you?!"
"Well, brains aren't everything. In your case, they're nothing!"
"Listen, you-" Rainbow started, only to be interrupted by the fillies.
"Let's just go!" Scootaloo groaned.
With a final exchange of glares, Rainbow Dash began leading Richard to Ponyville, not noticing the mint colored mare with a harp cutie mark hiding in the bushes, "Oh, I knew it! Human! Hehehe a human!"
Author's Note
Well, I do believe this is what they would call an awful idea! Too late though, it's on! It'll be amusing later, that's for sure.
I'm not a Seahawks fan, but I figured this would be fun! And that's all this is, fun!
I don't own any of the players or analysts, I do not own My Little Pony, I don't even own a cat!
