Ladies' Night

The sun started to shine through your window, telling you the night is sadly over. You groggily opened your eyes and felt around your bed only to find two empty spots in disappointment. They couldn't have already left, not after how much fun you had last night. Then again, thinking about what Cadance did to Twilight, it was understandable that they might be a bit embarrassed. You rolled over to find the door to your living room open, and the voices of Cadance and Twilight resounding through it into your room.

"I can't believe you Cadance! You're my sister-in-law!" Twilight said in a harsh whisper.

Cadance sounded a little more calm about it. "Look, Twilight, I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me... I was just tipsy, and one thing led to another."

Twilight let out a shudder. "Cadance, you... we... Ugh, Just... I'll get over it, maybe. What are we going to tell Shining Armor? You cheated on him... twice!"

Uh oh. You knew that name. You've had your fair share of run-ins with the guards for various reasons that may or may not have been complete misunderstandings, but you've had enough of them to recognize the name of the captain when you hear it. Then it all came back to you: that last moment and seeing her wedding ring.

You just slept with the captain of the guards' wife... and sister. At least you lived a good life.

"I-I don't know. It's just that when he never showed up last night, and didn't even bother to text me or anything..."

"Cadance! Are you even listening to yourself? How could you do this to him?" Twilight raised her volume a bit more. You figured this was probably what she was trying to say in the car on the way over here last night, but alcohol can do some crazy things to a girl's mind, and both Twilight and Cadance were pretty crazy last night.

"I've hardly seen him over the last month! He's been all over Equestria and he hardly even tells me what for anymore. When he finally comes home he hardly talks to me, and stands me up when we make plans to go out with you. I just... I don't know, Twilight..." You can hear the crack of sadness and regret in her voice, and feel a pang of guilt yourself; though you aren't entirely sure if you can take any blame for this.

"You have to tell him the truth, Cadance. If you don't, we're both going to have to hold onto this lie and feel bad about it."

Cadance sighed. "You're right, Twilight. Wh... What if he doesn't forgive me though?" You can hear her sniff back tears. Now you felt even worse.

"Oh, Cadance. I know how much my brother loves you. I know he'll be pissed, but if you just come clean and tell him how you feel, I'm sure he can find it in his heart to forgive you."

You can hear Cadance let out a couple of choked breaths and sniffles which probably had a few tears along with them. You leaned over to see her hugging Twilight, and looking pretty pathetic.

"We should probably go. We don't need to put this off for any longer than we should."

“W-Well, what about him?” Cadance said, pointing back over to your room.

“I don’t think he needs that on his conscious, and Shining Armor definitely doesn’t need someone to take it out on. Let’s just go.”

You could hear them shuffling, so you laid back down and pretended to be asleep. You had no idea how to deal with that bombshell, so you didn't. After a minute the door opened and closed behind them, and you gathered your thoughts on how to deal with this whole mess. No answers came to you right away. This was pretty heavy, and the last thing you wanted to do was get caught in the crosshairs of the top dog of the guards.

Hopefully neither of them included your name in that little discussion. You had no idea how to manage against one of the most elite guards in Canterlot.

One thing you did know, was that you needed a drink.

________________________________________________________

You headed back to the same club, since it was the closest to your apartment. Surprisingly, they stayed open most of the day as a bar, instead of just opening at night. You were thankful for the convenience as you sat down on one of the stools and waited for the bartender. A couple of seats away were the stools you met Cadance and Twilight on. Maybe this bar wasn't the best idea.

"What'll it be, dude?" A girl with frizzy electric blue hair and deep purple eyes asked you.

You looked her over, recognizing her from last night. "Whiskey, Vinyl."

She leaned up against the bar and let out a little giggle. "It's a little early for that, don't you think?"

"Yeah, well today isn't really going very well anyway. What are you doing bartending, anyway?" You knew the DJ from being around here long enough. You got to know her through multiple attempts at taking her back to your place, but she never let you have that one.

"I can moonlight sometimes. Or sunlight might be a better term. Besides, Lucky got stabbed on the way home last night, so I gotta fill in."

You raised an eyebrow at that, but you weren't particularly surprised. The Canterlot alleyways were never very safe, especially not at three in the morning. Vinyl poured your drink and slid it over to you. You knocked it back fairly quickly and waved over for another.

Vinyl looked around the bar, and when she saw that it was empty, she sat the bottle onto the wood and stood over beside you. "So why exactly is your day sucking already? I saw who you went home with. Quite a catch, huh?"

"Which one?"

Vinyl leaned back and looked impressed. "Two in one night? And one of them was Princess Twilight? How did you manage that one?"

You smiled. If Shining Armor killed you today, at least you had a great last night. "A little smooth talking and a lot of alcohol. The only problem is the other one was a girl named Cadance."

Vinyl's impressed look quickly dissolved into shock. "What? Princess Cadance? She's married!"

Vinyl held off on the next shot while she tried to take in the situation. "Yeah, well I just found that out this morning. Hit me."

She grabbed the bottle and started to pour you another once everything sunk in. "Ouch. Well here's hoping that you don't—"

The door beside the bar slammed open, and a furious Shining Armor stomped through it, looking at every inch of the bar in white-hot fury. He looked over to see it was just you and Vinyl at the bar, and turned to both of you, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists. You jerked your head to stare off in the other direction, hoping he wouldn't know it was you. It's not like he knew your name or what you looked like... hopefully.

"You! Who did Cadance leave with last night!?" he said in a voice that promised a world of pain.

You whistled nonchalantly, hoping that maybe he would just give up and go. You hoped Vinyl would say she didn't know, but with her silence and the presence of his angered huffs lingering in the air, you started to worry. You dared to glance back over at him, but stopped halfway when you saw Vinyl pointing an accusing finger at you.

"Vinyl, what the hell?!"

"I'm not about to catch heat with the Royal Guards for you."

You looked back over at Shining Armor nervously. You could tell by his red face and his eyes that something had snapped, and all that tension was aimed directly at you.

In a desperate attempt to escape, you flipped the barstool you were sitting on over and sprinted towards the back door.

You didn't have to look back to know that he's feet away from you, with the worst intentions. You could hear his boots knock against the floor behind you at a pace much faster than yours, but you definitely knew your way around the bar better.

A couple more flipped barstools and right angle turns around the tables, and you reached the backdoor with a little space between you and your executioner. You flew out of the door as fast as you could manage, letting it hang open behind you as you make your way down the alley.

The brick walls on either side of you split up ahead into another building, making a pathway right out to the street, and hopefully to you keeping all of your teeth.

You sprinted as fast as your legs could carry you towards the bend that leads to the street, but it seemed you didn't slow down Shining Armor enough to make a clean break; right as you drew near to the edge, you heard his stomps close behind you yet again. Sadly, you didn't hold a candle to the kind of shape most of the royal guards are in.

Just as the light of the street streaked into your vision, something hit you in the back and slammed you into the wall like a freight train. With Shining Armor's shoulder keeping you against the wall, and the feeling of a couple of possibly cracked ribs, you started to think your last thoughts.

A hand grabs you by the neck and spins you around before slamming you against the wall again. Shining Armor got a couple inches away from your face and looks into your eyes with such a deep hatred that you think you might burst into flames right there.

"You think it's fun to get married girls drunk and fuck them?! You think you were just going to get away with it?! Huh?!"

He slammed you against the wall again and again for emphasis. His teeth grinded as he waits for your answer. His grip tightened around your neck, cutting off most of your voice.

"C-Come on, man. I didn't know she was m-married."

That seemed to have the opposite of the desired effect. Shining Armor only grew redder with rage, and his muscles started to clamp down onto your neck even harder.

"You didn't know that the Princess of the Crystal Kingdom was married?! You liar!"

Any second you would pass out with the way he was holding onto you. The last thing you wanted was to wake up with a couple of missing body parts and whatever else he might have had planned.

"She came onto me! I swear!" you said in a last attempt to try to get out of the situation. Shining Armor loosened his grip a little and lets you breathe, but still held you firmly in place.

Cadance must have told him the full story, because when you said that, his rage faltered a bit. It looked like some part of him knew this wasn't your fault, but he still needed someone to take it out on, and you doubt he was ever going to beat his own wife.

Shining Armor closed his eyes for a moment and looks a bit defeated at the circumstances, but immediately pushed you back up into the wall with his iron grip once again.

"I don't care how it happened. If I ever see you around her again— No, if I ever see you in Canterlot again, a couple of bruises will be the least of your worries. Got it?!"

"Yeah! Just let me—"

Shining rears back and slammed a fist right into your cheek, knocking you out cold.

________________________________________________________

"Hey!"

Your entire world was pain for a couple of agonizing seconds as your vision blurred into focus and your ears stop ringing. For a moment you think Shining Armor woke you up for another beating, but the voice calling out to you isn't his.

"Are you okay?"

The tall brick buildings came into focus around you, and the cold concrete at your back told you that you probably haven't moved since you got decked. A girl with dark purple hair and concerned eyes was kneeling over you with a hand on your chest.

"T-Twilight?" you asked as you finally recognize her.

"Yeah." She turned away, looking a little guilty. "I'm really sorry about that, my brother can be a real hot-head sometimes."

You started to say something, but the pain in your cheek and the swollen area around a seemingly missing tooth only allowed you to let out a pained groan.

You sat up and felt some blood start to drip out of your mouth. Twilight cringed, but put a hand on your shoulder in concern anyway.

She looked across your cheek and back up to your eyes again. "Oh, that looks awful."

"Yeah, well it doesn't feel that great either," you said through a slur. Each word brought a little twinge of pain as you let it out.

"Can you stand up?" You checked yourself over for any other major bodily damage, but it seems like Shining Armor restricted himself to just a single punch. You started to try to lift yourself off the ground, but Twilight came in and wrapped her arms around yours, helping you up.

"What are you doing here anyway?" You glanced over at Twilight questioningly, since she was related to Shining Armor as well. Though, he never said anything about Twilight before he knocked you out.

"Well, after Cadance told my brother about last night, he went berserk and left before either of us could stop him. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

You rolled your eyes. She could have at least warned you, though, it wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming. "Thanks," you let out sarcastically before walking off down the alley. You had some packing to do if you wanted to keep your teeth.

"Wait!" Twilight ran up beside you and grabbed you by the arm right as you get onto the street.

"I actually did have a good time last night..." When you turned around to make eye-contact, she turned away sheepishly.

"So, uh, I hear Ponyville is nice this time of year," she says, rubbing the back of her neck and offering you a smile.

"What are yo—"

Twilight thrusted a piece of paper at you and eagerly awaited you to take it. You grabbed it and see a phone number written down.

"Give me a call sometime?" she asked with a blush. You're surprised she even worked up the nerve to find you with how timid she looks right now.

"Uh, sure." Before you know it, Twilight gave you a quick hug and was off without another word. You've never had girls actually come to you for a second date after most of your drunken one night stands, but then again, Twilight didn't really seem like the social type in the first place.

You walked back down the street and put your hands in your pockets, thinking about the future. At least now you had a place to go.

You may have had to move and avoid the Captain of Equestria's most elite guards for the rest of your life, but hey, you fucked a princess. Scratch that, two princesses.

So worth it.