Twilight Goes to the Bakery
Twilight went to a bakery.
Twilight bought a cupcake.
Twilight went home to her library.
Twilight ate her cupcake.
FIN
Uhhhhhh... excuse me? Mister Wri-
GYAH! I DIDN'T TYPE THAT! WHO'S THERE?
Why, it's me silly billy! I'm just broadcasting pure information across the infinite vacuum of time and space, don't get to fussy about it!
Who's me?
Well, you're you silly! Meanwhile, I'm me! Isn't the way that works just super duper? I'm also pink! That's even MORE super duper!
... Pinkie? Wait, are you Pinkie Pie? What... What in the hay are you doing?
Welllllll... I read your story, and it's super dup- i mean, uh. It's great and all. But I think it needs a bit more... Well, you know.
I do not know. I don't know anything. The fact i'm currently conversing with a magical physics defying horse across an infinite void has already made me re-evaluate my entire philosophy. Please excuse me if my gears cease to grind.
You're excused! But anyway. Your story needs more... I guess the word i'm looking for is oomph.
Oomph. My story needs more... Oomph. I happen to like the way my story is currently formatted. It's... Wait, you transmitted your personal thought process, pure information, literally across the universe-
Not just one universe. Multiple ones! Oh, and the stuff in between universes. Spoiler alert: there's nothing. I like to think it's chocolate flavored nothing though!
... You transmitted your thought process across multiple universes, a process which must take too much raw ability for me to possibly comprehend, and you decided to criticize a stupid 4 line story someone wrote for pure reason of they felt like it?
Well duh. I thought it was obvious what I was doing.
Hang on, how are we talking instantaneously? In fact, why am i just accepting that i'm talking to a magical horse? I mean, for Pete's sake, i've-
Wait, who's Pete? Is he a friend of yours? Is he nice? Oh, I want to meet him! He sounds so nice! I'll bake him a cake. Everybody loves cakes!
Welp. Either you are Pinkemina Diane Pie, or a program running a perfect simulation of Pinkemina Diane Pie. I'm not sure which is more impossible.
What's a program?
... Moving strictly onwards. I'm just gonna change my story up. You tell me if you like it more or not.
Okie Dokie Loki!
Why do I have the horrible feeling your thought process just found a way to mis-spell something...
It was a beautiful day in Ponyville! The sun shined, the bird's chirped, and Twilight Sparkle was heading to the bakery. As Twilight trotted towards her-
Stop
gkah;jflsdjhg
gkah;jflsdjhg? Le gasp! How dare you say that about my aunt!
What? No! I freaked out so much when your text just suddenly popped up, I dropped my laptop.
Oh. Well sorry about that and all, but... Why is Twilight trotting towards the bakery? She has wings now silly. Why isn't she flying there?
Seriously? You almost made me destroy my laptop because you don't like the idea of Twilight's pretty princess pedicure getting scuffed?
Yes.
... FINE. HERE.
It was a beautiful day in Ponyville! The sun shined, the bird's chirped, and Twilight Sparkle was heading to the bakery. As Twilight glided towards her favorite bakery, her mouth watered at the thought of what delicious treat she would spoil herself and Spike with today. Would she go for something bold, like the Sonic Tasteboom? Or something simple, like vanilla. But she was so distracted by her delicious daydreams that she smacked straight into a telephone pole! But this was no ordinary telephone pole; at it's base was a ravenous swarm of pony eating timber-wolves!
... Seriously?
Wow. I made up something so stupid that even Pinkie had to sit back and ask, "What is this". Sweet.
Oh come on. You could at least try to make a great story? Oh! Remember that one time you wrote about me and Dashie! Oh, we got all tangled up in that tree, and we were confused at first but then-
HOW DID YOU READ THIS. WHEN DID YOU READ THIS. WHY DID YOU READ THIS. WHO DID YOU READ THIS TO.
Oh, i showed it to all the girls! Applejack really enjoyed it. She was laughing the whole time! Dashie just went quiet though.
Do you still have it? Please tell me that you did something appropriate. Like burn it.
Oh, no. After I read it to everyone, Twilight just got quiet and took it to her room.She was muttering something about research.
There is no god.
Yes there is. There are two! I'm surprised you missed them, they're kind of big.
I feel confused, enlightened, and slightly violated. This is the best time to write pure poetry.
Oh! Oh! Good luck! Just remember that I'll be here to offer my honest opinion!
That's... terrifying.
...
No, I can't do this.
Awwww, but I was so excited! Was Twilight going to get the Sonic Tasteboom or Vanilla cupcake? I HAVE TO KNOW!
Well I am no longer interested in finding out. I just don't feel comfortable writing with you constantly looking over my shoulder.
I toooooooooooooolllllddd you, I'm nowhere near you! How can I look over your shoulder if I'm not behind you?
I... ugh. Look, you never told me how your actually reading my text, live, as I type it.
Oh, Twilight has a magic thingy.
A magic... thingy?
Yeah! She has this magical doo-hicky which beeps a lot and then the screen thing goes bweeeeeee and words and stuff appear on it and then she punches on some buttons or whatever suddenly it's like whoosh, hi human internet and then she clicks some more stuff and she runs something called a hacky but then the screen goes black and green and THEN it
Pinkie! Breathe! Better yet, use literally any form of punctuation!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
... Is Twilight there? Can you ask her for the name of the magical... doo-hicky you're using?
Sure!
... Hello? Pinkie?
... Ok, it's been an hour. Screw it, I'll just go back to writing.
Twilight went to the bakery. Then Pinkie popped out of a magical hole in the floor, chatted twilight's ear off for an hour, and then left. The end.
Ohhh! Sounds interesting!
You're back! Finally! What took you so long?
Well, with all this talk of a bakery, I went to Sugar Cube Corner and got a vanilla cupcake.
How does getting a cupcake take four hours? I was afraid to change anything on my computer, so i just sat and played with my fingers for FOUR. HOURS.
Weelllllll... Me and Twilight headed out to the bakery, and we were talking and giggling (she says this thingy is called a, "Computer", by the ways.)
Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff...
But suddenly Fluttershy cried out for help, and we got oh so worried! So we ran over to her and she was all, "Oh my sweet Celestia, Angel Bunny just got chased by a cragodile into the woods!"
Whats a cragodile?
It's like a crocodile, but made of rock. Anyway, we had to chase it into the Everfree Forest, and we followed it into a swamp. We found Angel Bunny, but the water was about half a pony high and too murky to see through, and the cragodile started attacking us
Uhhhhh huhhh. Hang on, i'm gonna get a pen and paper. Alright, I'm good, continue.
Well, after we finally got out of that swamp, that's when we realized we were lost. So Twilight was going to fly up to get her bearings, but a swarm of cute little star spiders swarmed out of the trees, and they started to web Twilight's wings before she noticed what was happening. And that's when the Ursa Major struck...
FIN
Wait, we're not done! I just started my story! :c