Madame Pinkie Pie's Mystical Memoirs

by Pickle

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2361

Madame Pinkie helped twilight, but who else did this fortune-teller assist?

Madame Pinkie Pie assisted Twilight (sorta), but she didn't only help her. Pinkie kept a record of everypony that used her services, no matter what the use. Surprisingly, she actually helped quite a few ponies.

Published 2012-03-26 06:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-23 03:33:46 UTC

Starting with Spike

Madame Pinkie Pie's Mystical Memoirs

1: Starting with Spike

Pinkie Pie sighed contently as she jammed her last stake into the ground. She gazed at her accomplishment; the tent was sturdy and secured; the inside was filled with old knickknacks and other dust-covered thingamajigs giving the tent a peculiar feeling; the barrels outside each had a candle on it even though it was day time to provide a faint lingering scent around the canvas shelter; Pinkie Pie even had a sign! Now maybe Pinkie found the sign in the Cake's basement from Nightmare Night, but it still had a crystal ball in the center of it which would suffice for Pinkie.

"Hey Pinkie Pie," Spike greeted, interrupting her basking in the tent's beauty.

"Hey Spike!" Pinkie Pie anxiously exclaimed.

"What are you so happy about Pinkie? Well, not that you're not happy all the time; you just seem more happy than usual."

"I'm starting my own business!"

"What!?" Spike's voice came out more concerned than delighted like Pinkie was hoping for. "You quit your job at Sugarcube Corner!?"

Pinkie laughed at the absurdity of Spike's question. "Of course not, silly. I would never do that. I'm just starting a little side business for fun!"

"Oh, that's a relief." Spike examined the tent, attempting to figure out its purpose. No luck. "Uh... What exactly is your new business Pinkie Pie?"

"Isn't it obvious? I'm a fortune-teller, Spike!"

Spike looked curiously at his friend. "So you use your Pinkie senses to read ponies fortunes?"

"Nope. I wield the powers of the mystics and use my magical crystal ball to foresee what has not yet happened!" Pinkie Pie posed, standing on her hind hooves and pointing her front hooves towards the clouds as she stared to the heavens.

Spike stayed quiet for a moment, contemplating Pinkie's new career, then finally asked, "Would you be able to tell me my future?"

Pinkie broke from her statue-like position and put one hoof around Spike's shoulder. "Sure, no problem! Just come into my tent and--" Pinkie Pie cut her sentence short as she gasped in urgency. "Hold on Spike! Wait right here!" Pinkie dashed into her tent and went to where Spike could not see her.

After a minute, Spike saw one of Pinkie's hooves poke out of the tent and wave him inside as Pinkie chanted, "You may now come in to my tent of wonderment!"

Spike, a bit apprehensively, stepped into the tent, being hit with the smell of incense as he entered. He peered around eccentric tent, finding dream catchers hanging down, old stones strung together, and an odd urn that had crack in it. He wasn't quite sure what to make of it all.

"Welcome to the chamber of Madame Pinkie Pie!"

"Um.. Pinkie Pie, can you---"

"That's Madame Pinkie Pie to you!"

"Oh, sorry. Madame Pinkie Pie, can you tell me my future?"

Pinkie Pie began to swirl her hooves around the crystal ball that sat centered on the table. "For the answers you seek, let us consult the mystical orb of kismet's fortune."

Up until now, Spike had thought Pinkie Pie was just being her weird self, but while she shifted her hooves around the orb, a small cloud of fog inside the ball began to stir as well.

As Spike stared closely and intensely at the crystalline globe, Pinkie warned, "Do not try to see into the mystical orb, for only I can read its messages from when-has-not-yet-occurred."

Spike moved away from the sphere. "Do you see anything?"

"Ah indeed, I see something... The vision is coming into focus. I see... You Spike!"

"Can you see anything else? Perhaps a white unicorn with a beautiful purple mane?"

"Spike," Pinkie Pie whined at her customer. "You can't just ask me to see something. You need to just let the future energy flow!"

"Um... Okay. Sorry Pink-- Madame Pinkie Pie."

Returning to her unique chanting, Pinkie crooned, "Now I see the fog clearing again! I see... I see... A silhouette of a pony!"

"I knew it!" Spike cheered.

"The silhouette is of a Unicorn!"

Spike squealed excitedly, yet quietly to not disturb Madame Pinkie.

"The shadow is clearing. I see... White fur..."

Another shrill popped out of the dragon.

"Purple hair..."

Spike squeaked again, barely able to contain his joy.

"And green eyes!"

"Oh thank Celestia! I just knew we were meant to... Wait, green eyes!?"

"Yes. That is what the magical orb has foretold."

"Then who do you see with me with?"

"Uh... It is the pony you know as Sweetie Belle."

"Sweetie Belle!? But I thought you said she had purple hair!?"

Pinkie Pie broke from her fortune-teller character due to Spike's yelling. "Well, she does, but, at the time, I only saw the purple part of her hair and not the pink."

Spike gave a blank stare forward, thinking about this. His silence broke once he started laughing. "I get it now! I must be with Sweetie Belle because I'm going to see Rarity. It makes so much more sense!" Spike relaxed in his seat.

Pinkie cleared her throat. Trying to chant with a hint of sympathy, Pinkie exclaimed, "From what I see, you to are definitely alone..."

Spike squinted his eyes at the clairvoyant. "What do you mean?"

"Let's just say... You two couldn't be closer.

Spike quickly jumped up on the table, grabbed the crystal ball, and shook it around vigorously. "Come on you stupid ball! Change! Change!"

Snatching the orb from Spike, Pinkie Pie asserted in her normal voice, "Spike, no pony can change what destiny has planned for them!"

Hyperventilating, Spike murmured, "No. No, I won't let this happen."

"But Spike---"

"My love for Rarity will never die!" Spike leaped of the table and sprinted out the tent's curtains.

Pinkie sighed, removing the turban from her head. "Oh well. Even though he didn't like it, I helped my first customer!" Pinkie began contemplating all the ponies she could possibly help in the future, But then she remembered something else.

"Wait.. Spike never paid!"

Looking for Lyra

"Welcome to the chamber of Madame Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie chanted as she saw her second customer trot into her tent.

"Uh... Hello Pinkie Pie," Lyra greeted upon entering the clairvoyant's tent.

Pinkie Pie cleared her throat loudly as she pointed a hoof at a nameplate she set on the table.

Lyra read the plate and corrected herself. "Oh. Madame Pinkie Pie."

Pinkie approved with an ear-to-ear grin. "Do you wish for Madame Pinkie Pie to look into your future as well?"

"Well actually," Lyra began nervously. "Spike told me that you were psychic, but I wanted to know if you could also look at other places."

"What do you mean exactly?"

"Well if I asked you to try and locate someo... a creature, would you be able to?"

Pinkie placed a hoof to her chin. "I can't seek out a specific creature, but I would be able to find just one of many, so yes!"

Lyra's face lit up with hope. The teal unicorn peered down at her hooves and sighed.

"What kind of creature do you want me to find, Lyra?"

Lyra bit her lip. "I don't know what they're called, but I've swear I've seen one before. If I was able to describe it to you, then could you look?"

Always wanting to appease everypony, Pinkie replied, "We can give it a shot!"

"Great!" Lyra used her magic to take out a picture she had drawn and set it in front of Pinkie. "So as you can see, these creatures don't have fur, but instead are covered in bare, pale flesh. They have hair and heads, but their heads are shaped slightly differently. Their body structure allows them to stand erect on their legs while their other legs stay along the side of their body. The thing that I find the most interesting about these creatures though is that at the end of each of their legs, they don't have hooves. On their standing legs, they have these weird, pointy things with smaller appendages attached to them; on their other legs, however, these creatures have these wondrous, incredible, totally fantastic things that I heard one of them refer to as hands!" Lyra's eyes glistened with a sense of enthusiasm as she described these odd appendages.

Pinkie Pie thought about what Lyra had just explained, and had a few questions. "So these creatures can speak our language?"

"Yes they can. I'm not sure how, but these beings somehow learned our language."

"Okay. Why did you draw this one with clothes? Was he going to a fancy party or something?"

"Well actually, these creatures wear clothing all the time."

"That brings me to my final question. If you were able to find these creatures before, why can't you find them again?"

"It's kind of a long story, but I'll try to keep it as short as possible. I went camping somewhere when I was still in the Filly Scouts. I was still a filly, so I didn't really know where we were going. I lived in Fillydelphia at the time and we had to take a train and then walk for a couple of hours before reaching the campsite, so I have no clue as to where we could have been. Well, my herd went for a hike and during the hike, I stopped to do my business. When I came back to the trail, I wasn't able to find my herd. Thinking they were close by, I tried to look for them along the trail. After an hour, I got worried that I wouldn't find them. I thought I heard a noise in the forest, so I strayed from the trail. A few more hours passed before I became dehydrated and hungry. Then it happened. As I tiredly trotted along the trees, I saw three of these creatures walking through the woods. They weren't doing anything in particular, but I still stopped where I stood and watched them. They talked. They walked. They used their hands to grab things and lift them up! They didn't need to use their mouth or magic to write; they just used their hands! I was so awestruck by them that I didn't even notice that they were leaving. I didn't want them to see me, but I wanted to keep watching them, so I chase after them. I kept galloping and galloping, and just kept trying to find them again, but then it hit me..."

Pinkie Pie, who was so entranced by Lyra's story, waited in anticipation as Lyra paused her storytelling. "What hit you, Lyra? Did you realize that you were still lost and that was your main priority? Did you think that these creatures were just hallucinations of your dehydration?"

Lyra giggled. "No Madame Pinkie Pie. I was literally hit by a branch. Yeah, I wasn't really looking where I was going and it got me right in the head. Knocked me straight out."

"Oh, well then what happened next?"

"Once I awoke, I found myself back at the campsite. One of the Filly Scouts had noticed I was missing and went looking for me. She used the hoofprints that I had left to track me down. She carried me back to the trail where the rest of the herd found the both of us."

"Who was that Filly Scout?"

"Doesn't Madame Pinkie Pie already know?" Lyra jokingly mocked. "Her name is Bon Bon."

"Oh! So is that how you and Bonny met?"

"Yes it is. And, as you know, we've been inseparable ever since."

"Aw!" Pinkie found herself tearing up at Lyra's sentimental story.

"But back to the reason I came her. Can you try to find them for me Madame Pinkie Pie?"

"It may be a bit tricky, but I think I can do it!"

"Thank you."

Pinkie Pie returned to acting more like her clairvoyant character as she circled her hooves around her crystal ball. "Oh mystical orb of kismet's fortune, I call upon you today to show me the location of an unknown creature!" Pinkie set her hooves on the crystal orb, imagining the creature. "The spirits have located the creature you seek, Lyra."

"Really! Where are they Madame Pinkie Pie?"

As she gazed deeply into the sphere, Pinkie announced, "The spirits are widening the view. It seems as though the creatures aren't near any town. The closest point of reference is that they are quite far east of Trottingham." Pinkie Pie removed her hooves from the magical ball, and looked at Lyra. "If you go east of Trottingham, you shall find them."

Lyra stared at Pinkie Pie with awe. "Madame Pinkie Pie... You don't know how much this means to me. I've spent my whole life trying to figure out what or where these things were and now you've accomplished this within ten minutes! Thank you so much."

"It was no problem my friend. Madame Pinkie Pie only wishes to help anypony she can, with anything she can, and she takes tips!" Pinkie Pie reached across the table with an empty jar and jiggled it in front of Lyra's face.

"Of course!" Lyra quickly levitated a dozen bits from her saddlebag and threw them into the jar. "I can't repay you enough for the favor you've done me."

"Have a good day, Lyra, and Madame Pinkie Pie hopes to see you again."

"Bye Madame Pinkie Pie." Lyra trotted out of the tent, leaving to prepare for the long journey that was ahead of her.

"Another job well done, Pinkie." Lifting the tip jar to her snout, Pinkie added, "And I got payed this time!" Pinkie Pie poured the bits out of the container and began to count them up. "One, two, three, four, five, si--- What the hay is this supposed to be? A bird? This kinda looks like one of those creatures Lyra showed me. UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? This is probably one of those tokens you get from that filly place Cherry Cheddars." Pinkie Pie tossed the coin in the trash, and continued to count up her tip.