Time to Interview the Ponies

by lionaxel

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna
Length: 3175

An interview with all the ponies! Any pony you want! And YOU get to ask the questions!

Interview any pony in Equestria! From Twilight Sparkle to Queen Chrysalis you can ask any question! Use this format.
Pony:
Question:

And delve into this hilarious reader guided fanfiction!

Published 2014-01-31 01:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-24 05:59:09 UTC

Prologue

It was a cool crisp morning but of course, Twilight Sparkle had been up for hours, studying a new spell that she'd been working on. Spike was in his bed like usual. The lazy dragon usually got up around 12 or so, but today there was no chance that he would sleep much longer.

"I GOT IT!!" Twilight suddenly exclaimed, jumping up onto her hind legs. Excitement sparkled in her eyes, an almost sure-fire way of telling that trouble was soon to follow.

Spike shot up "Wh-wha!? What's going on?" His eyes were wide in fear.

"The spell! I think it's ready! Get the girls, Spike!" Twilight levitated Spike out of his little nest and set him down, where he fell over.

"Ugh, Twilight! I'm tired! It's probably not even six yet!" Spike groaned. His crest drooped a bit and he crossed his stubby purple arms.

"Actually, it's eleven. Anyway get going! Today is going to be so much fun!" Peppiness made its way into Twilight's voice as she pushed Spike out the door. "And hurry!"

Spike returned later with the rest of the Mane 6.

Rarity sighed, lowering her head "Twilight, whatever do you want? I was catching up on my beauty sleep, darling!"

"Rarity, we all know ya like to sleep, but Twi's got somethin' important to tell us." Applejack answered. She looked at Rarity with a really? type of look.

"Indeed I do! I've got a spell that will change the way we think about everything!" Twilight was basically jumping with excitement as she lightly bounced on her hooves.

"Really!? Like the time where I put shaving cream on chocolate? 'Cause that certainly changed the way I think about chocolate! It tastes terrible! Oh wait, it was the shaving cream! Silly me! I remember Mrs. Cake telling..." Pinkie Pie continued as Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and began to speak.

"It better not be like the time you switched our cutie marks!" She half spoke, half growled.

"And she said 'Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever..."

"Oh, um, I'm sure Twilight doesn't want that to happen again. I mean, maybe..." Fluttershy's voice trailed off.

"Ever, ever try that again! So I of course nodded my head in response and she..."

Twilight groaned "Pinkie! Please stop, will you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I thought we were telling stories! I thought it was peculiar that everyone was interrupting me!" Pinkie frowned and carefully inspected each pony.

"Pinkie, Ah know that you'll get to share yer fascinating tale later, but right now, we all need to listen to Twilight." Applejack stated.

"Alright, I'm going to perform the spell now!" Twilight began charging up her horn. Brilliant magenta light gleamed from it.

"Wait! I mean, if you want to." Fluttershy interrupted.

Twilight paused, "Yes, Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy shook slightly "Are you sure this is safe?"

Twilight smiled. "Absolutely."

Her horn was once again charged with pure magic and she let loose a powerful beam that rocketed into the sky, breaking the roof of the library.

"Oh no!" Twilight exclaimed, attempting to stop falling debris from falling onto any of the ponies. Twilight thought she noticed a dark shadow in the sky overhead that flew into the magical blast and the magic seemed to cause a shockwave spreading through Ponyville. No, not just Ponyville, all of Equestria! When the dust settled, Twilight coughed, calling out "Is everypony all right?"

Each pony grunted out a response and Spike said "I thought you said it was safe!"

"Sorry!" Twilight apologized "I didn't mean for that to happen!"

Are you okay?

"Who's there!?" Twilight gasped, looking for the source of the noise.

"Twilight? Did you hit your head or something?" Rainbow asked, flapping her wings hard.

"I thought I heard something..." Twilight frowned.

You did hear something. I am the writer of this story.

"Story?" Twilight tilted her head. "But- that makes no sense! I'm here right now! I'm not a story!"

It's all very confusing to me too. In fact, I'm not even writing this. The words just sorta pop up on my screen.

"What? A screen? What kind of screen has words popping up on it?" Twilight seemed utterly lost.

A computer screen. But you ponies don't have computers.

"You mean, your not a pony!?" Twilight gaped in disbelief.

No, I am a human.

"B-but a human is a fantasy creature from a filly's book!"

That's actually quite interesting. In my world, ponies are a little girls TV show. However I think more older audiences watch it.

"What is a TV show? You have perked my interest!" Twilight smiled.

"Uh, Twilight? You look a bit ridiculous talkin' to yourself like that." Applejack spoke.

"Oh, uh..." Twilight blushed a bit, realizing just how embarrassing the situation really was.

I'll explain later. Would you please get everypony out in front of the Town Hall?

"Humans say everyb- oh never mind. Okay" Twilight spoke in a hushed whisper this time. "Hey girls, time to round up everypony in town!"

They looked at each other before Rainbow Dash shrugged and sped out.

"Everypony to the Town Hall! I repeat everypony to the Town Hall!" Rainbow cried out.

Fluttershy went around as well "Um, if you don't mind could you, uh, maybe go to the Town Hall?"

"Everypony, Twilight requires assistance at the Town Hall. Now would you be proper and attend the princesses meeting?" Rarity spoke.

"Alright everypony, there's a meetin' at Town Hall and we need y'all there!" Applejack shouted.

"Town Meeting, Town Meeting!" Pinkie sang.

Twilight made her way and watched as ponies gathered. "I hope you did this for a reason!"

Twilight, you actually did this. Well actually I technically did... You know what? Let's drop this, too complicated.

"Agreed." Twilight nodded. "Everypony, I have brought us all together because somepony, I mean, somebody wishes to speak with us!"

"Well, where is he!?" Somepony shouted from the audience.

I am right here and I am female, thank you very much.

There was a hushed silence.

"Hang on," Twilight lifted her hoof off of the ground, "I though I made the spell so me and the other Elements would be able to talk with some sort of new species. But only us elements."

I think you had a bit of help. Behind you.

"What?" Twilight spun around and there were shocked gasps as someone very familiar stood there.

"How fair would it be to let you have all of the fun?" Discord sneered.

"Since when are you about fair!?" Rainbow sped to the front of the stage, anger glinting in her eyes.

"Oh, come on! Don't be like that! Besides, I'm not gonna cause trouble, I've been reformed by my dear friend, Fluttershy!" Discord smiled and out of thin air, plucked Fluttershy herself out.

"Eek!" She squealed.

"Oh, sorry!" Discord put the pegasus on the ground and he snapped his fingers creating a rocking chair and a knitting set, "Now let's get this party started!"

Author's Note

Okay, I'm trying this new format. Ask whoever, whatever you like! They don't even have to be in the story yet!

Chapter 1

Ahem, Can everypony hear me?

Ponies looked around frantically, searching for the source of the voice.
I will take that as a yes. Don't be afraid. Twilight here has contacted the world of humans called Earth.

A certain pony jumped up and down "Earth!? Humans!?"
That's right, Lyra!

The aquamarine pony let out a squee, "A human knows my name!! A HUMAN!!"

"Calm down, Lyra, what if it's a trick!?" Another mare said, worry edging her thoughts.

"Oh please-" Lyra was interrupted by the draconequus who was watching.

"Oh hurry up already, this is much too boring. We need some excitement!" Discord snapped.
And I have just that. Other humans have contacted me with questions concerning you guys.

Murmurs spread through the crowd and Twilight exchanged a glance with Fluttershy, who stood shivering downstage near Discord.
Shall we begin?

Much to Twilight's surprise, there was an uproar of excitement.
I will take that as a yes! First question is for Pinkie Pie!

The pink mare squealed in excitement and dashed to the front of the stage. "Ooh! Ooh! I got this!"
CassandraMyOCisBestpony asks: Would you lick my face if I put frosting on it?

"Of COURSE I would! Frosting is the best! It goes well on anything! Especially cheese! Have you ever put frosting on cheese? I have! It tastes SO good! FROSTING!!" Pinkie jumped up and down on her hooves until Twilight pulled her down with magenta magic.

"Okay, Pinkie, that's enough." Twilight sighed.

Suddenly a giant shadow loomed overhead. Ponies looked up and Twilight gasped, extending her wings in surprise.

A graceful Alicorn with flowing hair landed on the stage. Next to her landed another one as dark as the night.

"P-Princesses!" Twilight stammered, awkwardly bowing.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle, there is no need to bow." Princess Celestia assured. Then she noticed all of the other ponies, also bowing and chuckled slightly. "Please, stand, all of you."

"Of course, Princess" and variants rippled through the crowd.

"Twilight Sparkle, we have heard a voice. We came to investigate. Is this thine doing?" Princess Luna demanded.
Princesses! How delightful! I always wanted to speak with the princesses of Equestria!

"Take a seat, Celestia!" Discord beamed, pulling a rocking chair out of Fluttershy's hair, who let out a squeak of terror.

"Discord!?" Luna gasped.

"Oh, Loony, I've been reformed! I can't do evil now." Discord cooed.

"Reformed? Why do I doubt that thou hast been reformed." Luna glared at Discord, who was now sitting on a couch with Fluttershy beside him, clearly looking confused as to how she got there.

"Oh stop using that fancy-shmancy language and join me on this delightful couch! Have some popcorn!" Discord snapped his fingers, extending the couch and levitating Luna onto it. "Now, continue on, Ms. Narrator!"
Well, Okay. The second question is for Applejack.

Applejack, who had been standing near the front with the other elements, froze. "Wait, me?"
That's what I said! Anyway Domisacat says: Not to be rude, but is there something between you and Rainbow Dash?

"Uh, no. There is certainly not. At least nothin' Ah know about." Applejack looked suspiciously at Rainbow Dash.

"What!?" Rainbow Dash's voice cracked and she smiled widely.

"Have you been doin' somethin' to make these guys think we're datin' or somethin' like that!?" She growled.

"NO! Why would I do that!?" Rainbow speaks quickly.
Uh-huh, okay. Moving right along. Wait hang on. This next question is for... Nightmare Moon?

Several ponies gasped and Luna's eyes widened.

"T-They mean me, r-r-right?" Luna stammered.
It specifically states Nightmare Moon.

"Well she's not here!" Luna spat.

"Wait, wait, wait. I can fix this." Discord floats up and snaps his fingers as Celestia shouts "No!"

Luna rises into the air, a dark vortex swirling around her and within moments, she is replaced by an even darker pony. Nightmare Moon.

"All you ponies will pay for imprisoning me inside that awful body again! PAY!" Nightmare Moon screeches.

"Discord!" Celestia's has a murderous glint in her narrowed eyes. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"

"Ah ha ha! Don't worry, she can't do anything, sadly. I made sure of that." Discord pouted slightly.

"ARRGHHH, I can't move! Which imbecile is responsible for this!?" Nightmare mean shrieked.
Nightmare Moon, DarkTheDivine asks: Do you want adoration, or just enslavement of all ponies?

"Why do they want to know? Do they think they can just walk in and ask THE Nightmare Moon a question on her personal thoughts!? Hahaha! How stupid!" Nightmare Moon cackled.

"You won't be released until you answer!" Twilight warned, taking a risk in trusting Discord.

"Released? Hmm" Nightmare Moon seemed to be contemplating the decision.
You would be adored more by the humans.

"Fine!" She spat. "Yes, I want adoration but I will enslave any pony that gets in my way!"
One more, joeyjumper94 asks: What was being locked in the moon like?

Nightmare moon paused. "Dark, and lonely..."

The crowd was silent, except for Discord. "Ok, then. Bye bye, Nighty!"

Discord released the spell just as Nightmare Moon gasped" Wait, what!? This wasn't our agree-"

Darkness exploded out of the mare and Luna fell onto the ground, her chest heaving. "Wh-what happened?"

"Luna!" Princess Celestia cried out, rushing over to embrace her sister in a warm hug.

Their reunion was cut short by something fast diving out of the sky. It was a griffin, Gilda to be exact.

"Out of my way! All of you! Now! MOVE!" Gilda demanded. "Where is that stupid new Princess? The one who always has all of the answers!?"

Then Rainbow Dash was there. "Gilda!? What are you doing here?"

"
Next question, Changeling-Drone asks Chrysalis, What's hive life like?

Twilight stamped her hoof on the ground, "Okay! Seriously, why are you guys asking for all of the bad guys? Are you trying to get us killed?"

Rarity spoke up "And who would even bring that monstrosity of a pony here? She's like a big, ugly bug!"

Discord snapped his fingers before anyone could protest and Queen Chrysalis herself materialized right in front of Rarity who let out a squeak of surprise. The crowd, once again gasped. However, the changling queen was trapped in her own goop.

Rarity backed away slowly as Chrysalis took in her surroundings.

"What... What is this!?" Cried the Queen.
Well then, Chrysalis, what's hive life like?

"Ah. Ah. Ah. Not so fast." Commanded Chrysalis. She looked around and caught sight of Celestia. "Princess Celestia! Explain!"

Celestia shook her head glaring. She muttered quietly so no one could hear "I swear when I get my hooves on you, Discord..."
Answer the question, Queen Chrysalis. Then you can go back to whatever you were doing.

"I was in fact laying eggs!" Chrysalis screeched and the crowd of pastel ponies groaned in disgust.
Right. Well, please answer the question so you can go. What is life like in the hive.

Queen Chrysalis glowered, but eventually succumbed. "Absolutely... wonderful. I have servants who do my every bidding and no one can match our strength! Someday we will return, and when we do... YOU ALL WILL PAY!! Especially that meddling Cadance and her sappy boyfriend! And you, Twilight Sparkle! Oh, Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. Guess what, the hour of Twilight can't last forever. Dusk will soon set upon everything, and all will cower under my shadow! The changelings will become the main race of Equestria and I will rule everything! Hahahahaha-"

Queen Chrysalis disappeared in a flash and Discord yawned, "What? She was getting boring! Besides, wouldn't it be nice if everything was covered in a veil of Twilight? But I suppose Celestia and Loony here would lose their jobs. Can't have that!"
Next question, also from Changeling-Drone. Gilda, how are you?

The proud griffon took off from the ground landing on the stage in a swift, graceful movement. "Me? Heh, of course you guys would ask ME a question before Rainbow Dweeb!" She glared at the pegasus. "'Cause I am just better!"

Rainbow Dash flew up in the air and straight into Gilda's face. "Say that again! I dare you!"

"You are nothing but a low-life DWEEB, Rainbow. Now get lost!" Gilda slammed her clawed hand into Rainbow Dash, knocking her into the ground.

"Rainbow!" Twilight said "Are you-"

She was cut off by Gilda, shoving a talon in her mouth. "I am cool. Nobody can stand up to me, certainly nopony!"

Rage was evident in Twilight's face. Then Rainbow stood up and launched herself at Gilda, hoof smacking into Gilda's face. A battle began to ensue, before both froze in midair and Rainbow cried "Wh-what's going on!?"

"Oh, please. Did you really think I would let that go on?" Discord grinned before levitating both creatures back into the crowd. "Next!"
The last question from Changeling-Drone, to Derpy. Dear Derpy, How is Ponyville treating you?

The gray pegasus mare flapped her wings, rising up. Her wall-eyed gaze scanning the crowd. "Well, most ponies avoid me... but there are the occasional nice ponies. Fluttershy... Rainbow Dash... Bulk Biceps even. Really, the Elements of Pastries... no... Harmony! They're all nice! Also there's Time Turner... not many know his real name, it's a SECRET! I love secrets! Then there's Bon Bon and Lyra, they're nice, and Vinyl Scratch is pretty nice. Octavia when she visits from Canterlot...We like to go on adventures, the six of us!"
Interesting! Very interesting! Now, RainbowCoolDash asks: Rarity, do you love Spike?

"Do I... oh haha! Of course I love my Spikey Wikey!" Rarity tilted her head, smiling. "He's the cutest wittle dwagon evah!"

"Uhh, Rarity... I don't think it was meant like that." Applejack frowned.

"Oh, but of course it was!" Rarity dismissed the farmer.
And the opposite, Spike, do you love Rarity?

"Oh, why she's the most beautiful, gorgeous Unicorn in all of Equestria! And the sweetest, most generous pony I've ever met. She's absolutely the best pony..." Spike had been levitating with his sheer love for the white Unicorn, before Twilight pulled him down, glaring. "Sorry!"
Now, Solar Firestorm asks: Nyx, what's it like having Twilight as a mother?

"Who the hay is Nyx?" Rainbow blurted, still frozen in place.

"I don't know," Twilight responded. "Maybe in the future? But me, a mother!? I don't think I have the time to be a mother!"

"Heh. I don't see anypony who would want Twilight as a wife!" Rainbow laughed.

"Rainbow! That's not funny!" Twilight said, unamused.
JakeTheBrony asks: Lyra, Okay I really like you so much even though you're only a background character. So my question is this: Can I cuddle with you?

Lyra jumped right up. "Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH! A human want's to cuddle with me! A human!"

The same pony who was with her before rolled her eyes. "I still don't trust these guys..."

"But Bon Bon! They are HUMANS! YES, OH YES!!!"

Bon Bon gave a slight half smile.
JakeTheBrony also asks: Applejack. Did you know that you're my favorite pony ever? Did you know that I have a crush on you as much as Lyra?

"Aw, shucks." Applejack blushed. "Ain't that the sweetest thing ever? Sugar cube, as much as I'd like to help you along in your love affairs, I'm afraid I don't know you and I don't just go around datin' ponies, or people, I don't know. Sorry."

"Way to make someones day, Applejack!" Rainbow spat.

"Why don't you try datin' somepony you don't know!" Applejack replied.

"Oh, I will!" Rainbow retorted.

"Heh, yeah right!" Applejack raised her eyebrow.

"Well, this has certainly gotten interesting! I do like a good feud every now and then!" Discord chuckled.

Things were just heating up in Ponyville and it seemed to be off to a pretty good start. Nothing going bad yet.

Author's Note

Man, this took too long! D: I'll try harder! I promise!! D':
Heh, I had to look up what a Nyx was. :P I feel awful now!