The purity inside us all.
Chapter 1: the Looming Thought
Shadow had no idea. He couldn't leave equestria, it was too peaceful, too welcoming. Why was he being treated like this? "Forgive me, Your Majesties," Shadow pleaded to the princesses, who gave the changeling a startled look. "I have done no wrong and refuse to be treated in such an unfair manner! I might be a changeling, but I demand a chance to prove myself worthy of living in equestria!" He shouted, tears welling up in the corners of his big, blue eyes.
The sudden wave of shock that hit the princesses caused Twilight to not only fire magic at Shadow, but tackle him as well. "After what your kind tried to do, you expect anypony to trust you?!" Twilight yelled, no longer able to keep calm. Shadow scrambled out from beneath her and hid behind Lavin before crying.
"I never did anything to you ponies! I was disowned 19 years ago for feeling emotions! I'm only 4!" Shadow yelled, crying and stomping. He couldn't stay calm, his tears wouldn’t stop flowing, and his racing mind would not cease. There is no force on this earth that can explain why what happened next did, but he simply passed out.
***
A few hours later, Shadow woke up in a soft bed, yet was too tired to open his eyes. He felt peaceful, tranquil, serene. But he had to escape. He knew where he was and had no idea what happened, but it was wrong. It was all too much. He launched himself out of the bed, yet found himself suspended in midair by magic as an unknown pony entered the room, whispering something. His dampened hearing was returning and his sight was coming back to him as he noticed that it was night-time. A form appeared to him, though it was hazy. As it cleared up, he found it to be Princess Luna.
"Calm down, little one... If you age like I think, you have a long time before my sister can execute you. Until then, I will care for you."
"But why, Pr--"
"Call me Mother. It is the least I can do. You did say you were disowned, correct?" she said sternly, cutting off Shadow's sentence. He simply nodded and smiled. Luna had helped coax Shadow to sleep by singing softly. Afterwards, Luna had tucked Shadow in and left the room.
The next morning, Shadow woke up to find that Luna wasn't in the room. Instead, he saw strange guards in front of the door. They weren't normal guards. They had fangs, strange eyes, and their wings were like those of a bat. "Who are you? Where's Mommy?" He asked.
Both of them snickered and flashed their fangs at Shadow, and grew slightly angered when that yielded no response. The one on the right stepped closer, obviously calmer than the one on the left. "I'm Echo. Your 'mom' said that we could have a little snack, so you stay asleep until night-time~," she said lustfully, letting her glistening fangs elongate. Seeing this unfold, Shadow scrambled to back away from the guard. He didn't want to get hurt, so in a vain effort, he jumped to fly over them. Being bat-ponies, their predatory senses were aroused by the sight of fleeing prey. With blinding speed, they both immediately lunged for Shadow.
By the time Shadow had awoken again, he was weak. He couldn't remember much after the bat-ponies had tackled him. Shadow could tell that the sun was setting, so he tried to get up, not accounting for the amount of blood he had lost. As his hooves touched the ground and he tried taking a step, he fell forward onto the floor. His vision was blurred and his mind obfuscated. He could scarcely manage picking himself up. He waited into the evening until the sun had finally set completely. Shadow was still laying there, vulnerable and unable to use his magic.
As the minutes, and soon hours, passed, Shadow was able to muster up enough strength to stand. Walking was still difficult, but Shadow soon traversed the room and made it to the door. When he managed to open the door, the two guards from before were on either side, awaiting for the end of their shift or for Luna to give them new orders. As Shadow slowly made his way through the door’s threshold and into the hall, the guards walked on either side of him, there in the unlikely case that he would somehow cause trouble in his current state.
Echo was the first to speak, her tone sarcastic and mocking. “Well you took that well, bug. Where are you trying to go?” she finished, stopping him from going any further by standing in front of him. She knew he was too weak to run, use magic, or even fly, but Echo wasn't going to move until she got some answers.
Shadow looked at Echo, trying to look frustrated, but only capable of managing a look that convinced them further of his exhaustion. “I’m going to find Mom. I want to talk to her.”
Shadow continued down the halls and throughout the castle’s corridors, and found himself before the doorway to Princess Luna’s chambers. “Can I have some privacy please? I… I just need to talk to her alone,” he said, turning to face the guards who had followed him the entire way there. But Shadow was unaware of the fact that Luna had opened the door and was standing behind him.
“You could have just asked us, Shadow. We find nothing wrong with asking for privacy,” Luna said, startling Shadow, “but there must be a matter that you felt you had to approach us about, so come in, little one.” And so he did. Shadow trepidatiously stepped inside of the lunar chambers, casting one last perturbed glance at the guards that ‘escorted’ him there. A shimmering, blue aura from Luna’s horn took hold of the doors and shut them behind the changeling.
“Well, child? What troubles you so that you may only speak of it in secret?” Luna inquired. Shadow opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it again and averted his eyes to the floor. Luna waited patiently for a response, arching a brow after only receiving silence. “Child?” she asked warmly.
Shadow looked in her eyes with tears beginning to brim. Feeling that he was in pain, Luna reached out to him with her magic and picked him up, setting him down on the bed. She came to sit beside him and placed a wing around his shoulders. “Why do I have to die?” Shadow whispered. “I did nothing wrong… I was thrown out from my home. I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I didn’t have a choice. Why must I be executed for that?” Shadow begged to know tearfully.
Luna felt his inner anguish when she looked into his eyes, all the fear he held inside. She could not bear it, and looked away. “I am sorry, my child… but the law is the law. I cannot undermine my sister’s decision. Even if I could make her understand, there would be so many restrictions for you.”
Shadow sat there, dumbfounded; he couldn’t think of how to get her to understand his plight. He pulled away from her, a twinge of pain fueling the response. “There has to be something, Mom! You have to be able to do something!” He said in a panicked tone, not knowing what to say to Luna.
She turned away and spoke coldly this time, “Shadow, there is no earthly thing I could do to persuade my sister’s decision. Unless she changes her mind, which the likelihood of is nigh nonexistent, you are either going to leave on your own, or face the executioner’s axe. Now please, go to your room. Do not stay awake past dawn.”
Shadow nodded, and despite the things he wanted to say and the urge to cry, he slid off the bed and left his surrogate mother’s quarters. The rest of his night was spent next to Lavin, holding her close as she slept.
Several hours later, Shadow still lay awake in his bed, the luminescence of the sun transcending through the window above his head. The sight of the sun’s light brought to his mind thoughts of how something so warm could be controlled by a pony with such a cold heart. Shadow stood up again and kissed Lavin. He knew that he couldn’t leave equestria, but there was nothing he could think of other than to escape. He left his room and started to walk along the halls. There were so many things he could have done on that day; he could have ran, left Equestria, stayed hidden where nopony could find him, or even concealed himself as a pony indefinitely.
But he didn’t. He stayed true to what he was and intended to stay what he was. He was never going to lie to anypony like the others of his kind. Shadow would speak his mind no matter what happened. He continued through the maze of halls and rooms, thinking about the things in those rooms. These were the rooms that would occupy his mind for the rest of his life. There was nothing he could do now but think.
When he returned to his room, Lavin was waking up. He managed to get her to lay back down, but because he needed her until he fell asleep. Soon, Shadow started to cry, but this wasn’t just sadness in his tears, it was everything. He was crying for every dragon, changeling, pony, and any other creatures who were delivered an unfair punishment. He cried for every time that he would see the ponies in the town below being happy. They were enjoying themselves while he was confined within the walls of the castle. Despite this, he heard a whisper in the back of his thoughts, telling him sweet things. Telling him that it would all be okay, that no matter what happened, it would all end well.
He walked the halls every day, thinking of the objects that he had seen, thinking about the history and everything that had happened in that castle. He was oddly happy on his walks, but when he returned to his room, the dark and sad thoughts intruded into his mind again. When this happened, the sweet voice returned, soothing him and keeping him stable.
***
One day, the voice left. It was the same day that his dear wife died. Lavin was so… Perfect. She was his life outside of being taught by Princess Luna or being scolded by Celestia’s guards. She helped him when he couldn’t help himself. She kept him safe. The last night Shadow had seen her, she was leaving the castle to go check on the hive that was made in the catacombs. He had wanted to go with her, but remembered what had happened. He couldn’t bear to see any more visions of his slaughtered family. Lavin had built graves for every single changeling born and killed in those catacombs. They hadn’t been given the time he was, but Shadow knew that they would not feel it.
He knew they had made it quick.
Lavin had been leaving when she fell down the steps. Her old, frail body could not take it. She was in the hospital for two hours before flat-lining. When news reached Shadow, he lost control. He had not only destroyed his room, but said destruction had put several ponies in the hospital. Celestia did not punish him, though. She had talked to him to help calm him down and, for that time, Princess Celestia had been somewhat motherly to him. She actually cared about his sadness. She cared about him.
This all ended in the last 10 weeks before his execution.
The purity inside us all.
Chapter 2: Convincing a Princess
Shadow still couldn’t sleep. It was two weeks until the day of his execution. He decided it was time to see the pony he had so vehemently been avoiding for so many years. As he got himself out of bed, he opened the door to the balcony and watched the sunrise for several minutes before flying to the balcony of Celestia’s quarters several stories above and knocking on the large doors. The princess came to see who it was, adopting a somewhat surprised look as she identified him. She hesitated for a moment before opening the door to permit his entering.
“What do you want? Have you changed your mind about staying?” Celestia said, staying as well-mannered as her emotions would allow. Shadow stepped closer and stopped at a safe distance, clearing his throat and wiping his sleep-deprived eyes. He steeled himself before speaking, for what he had to say was not liable to be taken so well.
“No, Your Majesty. I’ve come here because I need to know if there’s anything I can possibly do to stay. Princess Luna is too scared to come to you, so I decided to approach you myself. I want to know if there is something I can do that would prove to you that I deserve to be here, that I deserve to live amongst you ponies like I have for most of my life now. It’s been over 100 years, and the pony who I loved dearly… is gone. You said you understood why I was angry when she died, but you still refuse to understand that I never did any of that intentionally to hurt anypony! You keep assuming that I’m planning somet--”
“This is different, Shadow,” Celestia said, cutting off Shadow mid-sentence.
He would not take no for an answer. For too long had things gone this way. For too long had this stubborn royal refused to listen to him. A century’s-worth of pig-headed denial was about to result in his unjustified execution. Trembling with adrenaline, he glared into her eyes, his inward seething set to burst forth. With great spite, he hissed, “Why?!” Celestia furrowed a brow and looked at him with mild irritation.
“Why what, Changeling?”
“Why do you hate me so much?! What have I ever done to warrant this?! What have I ever done to you?!” Shadow spat.
“I suggest you lower your tone in my presence, Changeli--”
“I know that I’m not a pony, I know that changelings have troubled you and your kingdom in the past, but how does that justify my treatment? Am I supposed to be killed because of a simple difference in species? I’ve committed no crimes, I’ve lived amongst your folk peacefully, all for over a century! And still, you’re going to kill me over something that was out of my control, something that happened a hundred years ago? All because of your bias?!” Shadow hollered.
“The law guides you to your demise, not my emotions,” Celestia replied calmly, her eyes narrowing on Shadow. It was plain that she was becoming increasingly displeased with his behavior.
“Then perhaps it is time to rethink the laws, Your Highness. You are, after all, the princess! Can’t you see the injustice?”
“Injustice?!” Celestia bellowed in the intones of the royal voice. She took heavy breaths for a moment before placating herself and regaining her composure. She began again, softer this time, “I see no injustice here, Changeling. You have been afforded every opportunity to avert your death. For a century, the option to simply vacate and scurry back to whatever hive you spawned from was left open to you. But if you are so adamant to remain, and wish to prove yourself, then you will submit to your fate.” With this, she opened the chamber doors and signaled to the guards standing there to take Shadow away. When Shadow saw them approaching him, he darted back and fired his magic at them, rendering the two unicorns unconscious.
“No, princess. Just me and you are going to talk. I am staying here, but I will not die. Not now, not when you decide, but when it’s my time and I am taken by natural causes. You do not choose my expiration date! Now, tell me this ‘great secret’ that you’ve been trying to hide from me. I’ve heard unfamiliar voices echo through the halls and my name has been mentioned in these conversations with this mysterious pony. What are you planning, Princess? If I can even call a pony of your morality a princess at all.” Shadow finished his sentence by slamming the large chamber doors with his magic, sending a resounding boom echoing through the castle halls. As he used his magic, Celestia noticed everything around them start to dim. Almost as if something was starting to blot out the sun.
Celestia took a deep breath and sighed “You wish to know why? Because you’re destined to kill Chrysalis. You’re destined to take the throne from her. And to be truthful, I can’t allow yet another ruler to reign over the changelings. The time of Chrysalis is ending, and I will not have another step in and prolong their empire’s span.” Shadow was taken back. He took a moment to process what it was that he just heard.
“N-No… You’re lying! You just need a reason to justify my death to the public!” Shadow declared. “And even… if I was supposed to take over… you’re going to assume that I’m harboring the same evil within me?!” He yelled at her. “I’m only asking for a chance and you’re breaking your own laws by denying me that!”
“I’m breaking laws that have been set in place for over one-thousand years? If you cannot accept that you will be executed, then leave! Leave me and leave the ponies that fear your kind!”
Shadow shook with fury. Attempting to convince Celestia to see things his way was a lost cause. Words were ineffectual on the stubborn princess. He couldn’t imagine a single thing left that he could say to sway her. Though perhaps this was because his mind was clouded by rage. So badly he wanted to put an end to her senseless bias and drive to rid the world of changelings. So badly he wanted justice for himself and all others who she had wronged over the years with her terrible, unfair generalizations and her propensity to jump to conclusions. No longer could he keep his emotions bottled while in her presence. Overflowing with righteous fury, he did the unexpected, the uninhibited, and the most unwise thing one could do in such a situation.
Within just a second’s span, he lashed out with his magic, sending a bolt straight at the princess’s face. He put all of his anger, all of his pain, into that bolt. Were it a lesser-being he was aiming at, it would be nothing but ash for certain. But it was not a lesser being he faced. It was the Sun Goddess herself.
Celestia easily swatted the bolt aside with her own magic. Shadow looked at her in disbelief for a split-second, and that was all that she needed. A an immensely powerful grip tightened around Shadow’s wind-pipe, cutting off the air supply to his lungs. He was hoisted into the air and thrust against the wall with enough force to crack the stone and send paintings and other decorum tumbling to the floor.
“I suggest you get a hold of yourself, Changeling. It is unadvisable to attack one who has easily felled far greater foes than yourself.” Celestia tightened her magical hold around Shadow’s neck, waiting for him to black-out.
Miraculously, Shadow was able to send another bolt from his horn sizzling past the princess’s face, only managing to sheer off a few locks of her mane as she was able to react in time to avoid it. Even so, the act evoked great ire in her, and he tossed her head to the side, the gesture throwing the changeling across the chamber and into the opposite wall. There was an audible crack in Shadow’s side as he hissed through his teeth.
He tried to stand, using the wall to lean against, when the exalted gold of the princess’s shoe stamped against his throat. “Yield, insect,” Celestia said venomously. Shadow responded by sinking his fangs into her foreleg. The results were less than good for him, as the princess did not show any signs of being pained by this. Instead, she used it to her advantage. She raised her foreleg into the air, the changeling attached via clenched teeth, and spun on her hind legs before slamming her hoof into the floor. Shadow’s head took the brunt of the blow, and his bite was loosened immediately.
Celestia pulled her foreleg away from Shadow’s maw, blood trickling from two small incisions in her leg. “Do you give up, or do you wish to prolong our ‘conversation’?” she said snidely, using a cloth to wipe the blood from the bite-mark away.
“N-never! Not until you… admit to your wrongdoings!” Shadow coughed, sending small droplets of green blood to cover his face. At this, Celestia opened the door and called to the guards to have him taken to his quarters.
***
A few days after she had him locked in his room, Princess celestia came to see him. With an unsure and shaking hoof, she knocked. “May I come in, Shadow Storm? I wish to speak with you.”
“Go ahead, princess, it’s not like it matters whether I desire it or not. You don’t care,” Shadow answered through the barrier. Celestia sighed at this response and ordered the guards to unlock the door.
Upon entering the darkly lit room, she found Shadow sitting on the floor with a small candle flickering before him. He stared ambivalently at it. “Is it time already?” he asked in a hushed tone.
“Actually,” Celestia began, using her magic to seek out the other candles in the room and lighting them, “I wished to confide something to you. It’s about Lavin,” Celestia said, coming close to Shadow.
“What do you have to say about her? You devastated both me and her when you killed all of our children. You don’t deserve to be called a princess. You’re the bug…” Shadow had slid backwards to avoid Celestia’s advance.
“She died intentionally, Shadow. She had done everything for a reason. I’m going to tell you what it was. Will you please listen to me?”
“Say it fast and leave, it’s not like it matters anymore…” Shadow had nearly whispered, trying to fight back tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. Shadow had felt like screaming at Princess Celestia for saying Lavin died on purpose. What purpose could there possibly be for her to die intentionally?
Celestia brought a hoof to Shadow’s shoulder and sat beside him, clearing her throat, “She died to help destroy something. The problem is that destroying it was a big mistake.”
“And how exactly does this affect me? I’m not making any--” Before he could finish speaking, Celestia cut in.
“It affects you because I want you to find the pieces of this object. It was never given a name because it was only used once. We destroyed it because the properties of it were… If it got into anypony’s hand, they could do anything they wanted. Anything they wanted could be theirs and anything they wanted to happen would happen in an instant. There are a total of 849 pieces, if you must know.”
“How will I know when I’ve found a piece, Princess?” Shadow asked, awestruck as to what he was hearing. If she was telling him the truth, this may be his chance to prove himself.
“The pieces have a spell imbued in them so that when they’re close enough, they will start to reform into their old shape. If you find all of these pieces, you will be allowed a home in Equestria, but under strict watch.”
“So for gathering pieces of this… how do I say it, Mystical MacGuffin staff that could destroy everything in the blink of an eye, I’m only going to be allowed to live in Equestria? I’m sorry, but that seems a bit unfair even for how I’ve been treated my whole life.”
Princess Celestia took in a deep breath to calm herself and spoke again, “Okay… I thought you may push this. What do you ask for in return for doing this, Shadow Storm?”
“First off, I want a recognized citizenship, not just a home that will no-doubt be placed far from any towns. Second, I want you to understand that I will drop this mission at the slightest sign of you planning something, and last but not least, I want somepony to come with me and help me with this. You suggest somepony and I’ll find them.”
Celestia stood up once more and went to the window, opening it and letting the light in, “You must understand how much trust this takes? You must swear to not use it, Shadow.”
“Oh, again with this shit! Princess, I know we don’t like each other, but all I asked for was to be a citizen here and even after over 100 years, you still don’t trust that I don’t want to hurt you? What is so wrong with a changeling who genuinely wants to help? Why can’t you do what everypony else has had to do when a problem comes along and suck it up?”
“Maybe the reason I can’t is because none of your kind have done well with power. Look at what good your kind has done! Oh wait, forgive me, but there doesn’t seem to be anything good done by you, Chan--”
“And you still want me to do this? Just tell me who I need to find, princess. Do that and you might not see me for a while.”
Celestia walked back to Shadow and took another deep breath, using her magic to stand him up. “I want you to find a mare by the name of Daring Do. She’ll be a bit hesitant, but anypony would when asked by a changeling. When you convince her to help, you should start by going to the gryphon kingdom. I regret to say, but that is as much information as I can give you. Will you need any provisions?”
“Just food and water, thank you. And maybe a weapon in case I can’t use my magic. Other than that, I should be fine, thank you.”
***
After sunset, Shadow had left from the balcony and flew until he was a few miles from the city. He was fully rested and out to prove that he wasn’t evil.
