The Daily Life of Vinyl Scratch

by Crystalatrix

Rating: mature
Tags: Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, DJ P0N-3, Human
Length: 1438

This is obviously the story of my day to day life, it's not too interesting so I'll try and write down the funny parts. Have fun reading!

Well, my name is Vinyl Scratch and here is what I usually deal with every day. I usually deal with things from stalkers to dinosaurs all in the time of 24 hours. This is my journal from yesterday, the day of Bon-Bon's birthday. Have fun reading!
This is going to be another one-shot fic of mine.
Allons-y!

Published 2014-01-31 04:40:14 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-31 04:40:14 UTC

Part 1

I woke up as normal as one could in the morning. I groaned as my body refused to rise off of the comfortable mattress, once up I looked out of the window as always and saw what I always saw, the city. All I see is the city, all I hear usually is the city, and to be honest, the city was very boring. It was just so... dull. Nothing ever happened, there were no concerts, no political events, nothing. Walking away from the window, I took a glance at my humble abode. The room was a light shade of blue with a creme colored carpet that did a good job at showing you your mistakes. There was a queen sized mattress that had an Amareican flag pattern on it, and all of the furniture was different. The chair had an interesting pattern on it to put it lightly. and the cabinet and chester drawers were a dark shade of gray that could be described as, well, depressing.

After that I began my morning routine, as much as I hated routines I had one. I went to take a shower first, using all of the hair products one would use to fully clean themselves, after that I went into my kitchen and began to make breakfast which normally consisted to waffles, and today wasn't an exception to that normality. While I waited for my waffles to finish I went back to my room to make my bed, because as everyone says, "old habits die hard." Then I played "The Waiting Game", I personally hate the game, though it doesn't matter if you "want" to play or not.

I heard the toaster go off a few minutes later and proceeded back to the kitchen to claim my breakfast. I always stared out of the widow while I ate in the mornings, why I have no idea, but I did. I was peacefully enjoying my breakfast when I got a call.

"Y-ellow" I said,

"Vinyl, you do realize that you are ten minutes late for work right?" The caller said mischievously,

Spitting out the waffles in shock I said the only thing anyone says at a time like this;

"SHIT!!!"

Then I proceeded in gently slamming down my phone and fumbling around to get my clothes on, once finished I bolted out the door. Sprinting down the sidewalk I noticed one thing, no one else was awake, and that could only mean one thing. I walked back to my kitchen, picked up my phone and calmly said,

"Fuck you."

and hung up the phone.

After that I took off my work clothes and while I was walking toward my bed I spotted myself in the mirror, and my hair looked like shit. Deciding to fix it before it gets worse I was forced to look at myself in the mirror. I had a slim hourglass figure and as my mom would say "Ze curvez." if I do say so myslef. I stood at about five feet and seven inches if I had to guess, also I usually had spiky hair with two tones of blue in it. After messing with my hair for a minute I decided that it wasn't worth it and proceeded to put on some lounge clothes consisting of a white tank top and some baggy sweat pants. Once I was done I got back in bed, grabbed my laptop, and opened Marebleton to work on a song I was making for shiggles. The song I was mixing was called "Fapping Ball" if I remember correctly.

So I worked on that for a few hours. Then I got another phone call.

"I swear to Tartarus, if it's who I think it is I'm going to kick a kitten."

Then I stopped in my tracks, I had the feeling I was being watched, observed as to speak. It's like someone was trying to wright a story about me or something creepy like that. Then I heard laughing from outside my window, so I turned to where I heard the laugh came from and shouted,

"Know what, no. Just because you laughed, a puppy! Yeah your all sad now aren't you? A frigging puppy will probably be kicked because you laughed. How does that make you feel? Pretty shitty huh?"

And just like that the laughter stopped,

"That's what I thought, now get out of here!"

I shouted again seeing an almost exact copy of me sprint away as fast as his legs would carry him. Deciding to see what he was doing I went outside and found a black pair of glasses that had clear lenses. Going back inside I found that I had missed a call from Lyra.

"Well, the day can't get any weirder, right?"

I said to myself as I called her back. When she answered my day officially got weirder.

HEYVINYLSODIDYOULIKEMYPRANKBECAU-"

"LYRA, shhhhhh." In my defence, I cut her off as nicely as I could,

"Oh, sorry. Well I just called to see if you were doing anything today."

"Why's that? Got something planned?" I asked curiosity rising slightly,

"Well it's Bonnie's birthd-"

"Oh my gosh how could I forget that, I'll definitely be there!" I interrupted once again out of surprise,

"Okay, see you at six!" Lyra said cheerfully as she hung up the phone.

Looking at the clock I saw what time it was and immediately hated everything. It was already five. So I said something I thought was rather appropriate for the situation.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!"

Part 2

Six o' clock rolled around and try to guess where I was. If you guessed "At the Party" you would be horribly mistaken. If you chose "Getting Fucked in the Asshole by Life" you guessed correctly. Now if you look beneath whatever your sitting on you'll find nothing 'cause bitch I ain't Oprah. I was fumbling around trying to find my lucky shades at the moment, all the while mumbling things that shouldn't and couldn't be repeated because it sounded something like "SHIUSLHXHSDJCJKDBC." so unless you can translate that it's true meaning will never be known.

After a few more minutes of foreign curses I finally found them in a pizza box, why the fuck they were there I would never know, but right then I honestly didn't give a fuck. I had a party to be at and I was already late. So while I ran I sang my favorite song, "Shit, Shit, Shit in A Minor", the key, not the felony in case you were wondering. Arriving after a couple more minutes I was greeted by Lyra, dressed as a purple dinosaur. My curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask,

"Lyra. Why. The, Fuck. Are you dressed as a dinosaur?"

"Didn't you get my message? Bonnie wanted the theme of the party to be dinosaurs." she said as innocently as she could.

Seeing as how I was misinformed I asked Lyra to do one thing.

"Hey could you go in and grab a party hat if you have one?"

"Why of coarse!" she said

After that she went inside while I was stuck outside, waiting, juuuust waiting. Stiiiiiiiiiillll waiting. After about six minutes she came back with a party hat in tow.

"What took you so long?" I asked more out of annoyance than anything,

"Well I was walki-"

"Know what nevermind, I need to get in there. Do you think a unicorn would count as a dinosaur?" I asked her

"I don't know, I mean it'll probably count but-" She was cut off again as I walked past her and straight to Bon-Bon.

"Hey," I said to her, "Sorry for being late."

"It's fine, I mean, at least your here right?" She said trying to put me at ease.

It was super effective, so I gave her my thanks and went to where I always go, the DJ booth. It was always the coolest place to be during any party because it gave you a clear view of the entire room and everyone in it.

"Well Vinyl, what are you waiting for?" Called Bon-Bon, giving her the cue to begin the first track.

Seeing that the party was dinosaur themed the first song seemed to make sense. It was called "Dinosaurs Go Rawr!", so again, it made sense. The party went on like that for hours finally ending around midnight. Everyone said their goodbyes and left with a smile on their face, which pleased me greatly. Finally, after saying my goodbyes to Lyra and Bon-Bon I made my way home to catch some Z's