Feel Like a Monster

by BronyWriter

Rating: teen
Tags: Cutie Mark Crusaders, Big Macintosh, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Applejack, Apple Bloom
Length: 9328

Apple Bloom feels anger towards Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as a result of their bullying. She goes to see a counselor to get rid of the feelings and her life is forever changed.

Blank flank they called her.

Worthless they called her.

Apple Bloom has endured the torment of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as long as she can remember, and now it's beginning to affect her. Her mind wanders and she has images of hurting them. She fears these moments. Every time she imagines herself hurting them it sickens her, but they keep coming back. So, under the advice of Cheerilee, Apple Bloom goes to see the school counselor about it, never imagining that such a choice would make the next three days a living hell.

To find out why this was cancelled, as well as to find out the rest of the story, go here.

Edited to make this pre-season 1.

Teen for profanity and some gore.

Cover art here: http://techrainbow.deviantart.com/art/Gloomy-Apple-Bloom-340214157

Published 2014-03-23 01:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-25 00:50:14 UTC

M1

"Blank flank! Blank flank!"

"Shut up! Stop talkin' ta me! Just leave me alone!"

Apple Bloom turned tail and ran to the other side of the schoolyard, desperately wishing that Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were there to back her up against the evil little fillies who had fixated on her. She glanced behind her and saw that Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara were following her, their evil smiles still plastered on their faces.

Apple Bloom whimpered and flattened her ears. The first traces of tears welled up in her eyes as she ran. When she looked up, she gasped when she saw that she had come to the schoolyard's fence. She whirled around to find an alternative route, but Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had spread out, blocking any route of escape. Apple Bloom backed into the fence and slid to the ground to curl up into a ball, her tears now dripping down her face.

"I don't even know why you and your baby friends bother to show your faces at this school." Diamond Tiara reached out a hoof and poked Apple Bloom's bank flank, causing Apple Bloom to flinch back. "I mean, it's gotta be, like, so embarrassing to know that you're not special at all."

"Look at her cry like a little baby!" Silver Spoon cackled. Her mouth turned downwards in a mocking pout. "What's wong wittle baby Apple Bwoom? You want your mommy?"

"Mommy?" Diamond Tiara scoffed and poked Apple Bloom's head. "She doesn't have a mommy. Her mommy was so ashamed at having given birth to this freak that she just gave up and died the moment she saw what kind of spawn had come out of her.

"Shut up!" Apple Bloom screeched, knocking Diamond Tiara's hoof away. "Stop talkin' 'bout my ma!" Apple Bloom's eyes hardened into a glare, but the effect was offset by her lower jaw wobbling. "Sh-she was ten times the mare you'll ever be!"

Silver Spoon gave a scoff of her own and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure she was. That's why she died. You didn't live up to her standards."

"Or any standards for that matter," Diamond Tiara cackled. "Your nursemaid should have just put you down the moment she saw you!" Diamond Tiara reached out her hoof again. "I mean, just look at you!"

Apple Bloom let out a growl as Diamond Tiara's hoof reached out to her, and she swing her own hoof, batting Diamond's away. The force of the blow knocked Diamond's hoof into the fence, causing Diamond to flinch back.

"Ow!" Diamond glared at Apple Bloom and looked down at the red mark on her hoof. "That hurt you worthless spawn!"

"Hurt?" Apple Bloom's entire face twisted into a snarl, and she slowly pushed herself to her hooves. "That didn't hurt, you stupid, stuck up bitch."

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon both gasped in unison, their eyes widening. "W-what did you just call me?" Diamond whispered.

"She called you the B word, DT!" Silver Spoon blinked once and alternated her glances between her friend and Apple Bloom. "She called you the B word!"

"My daddy is going to hear all about this!" Diamond Tiara snarled. She stomped closer to Apple Bloom and poked her chest. "You are going to be in so much--"

Diamond's words were cut off when Apple Bloom's hoof smashed into her muzzle knocking her off her hooves. Diamond Tiara hit the dirt, and her tiara flew off of her head, bouncing on the ground before landing a few hooves away. Diamond Tiara squealed and clutched at her muzzle, which was dripping blood.

"Ah told ya ta stop talkin', you stupid fuck!" Apple Bloom moved over to Diamond Tiara and put a hoof on her head. "Ah told ya ta leave me alone!"

Diamond Tiara whimpered, and tears began to fall from her eyes, mixing with the blood running down her muzzle.

"Muh-muh-my d-d-daddy is gonna h-have you arrested!" Diamond curled into a ball and pushed Apple Bloom's hoof away. "Y-you're g-g-gonna wish you had never b-been born!"

"Ah told you ta stop talkin'!" Apple Bloom shrieked. "Yer done threatenin' ME"

Apple Bloom grabbed Diamond Tiara's foreleg in her mouth and pulled it away from her head. Seeing her opening, Apple Bloom began repeatedly smashing her hoof onto Diamond's head. The blows brought forth more blood and shrieks from her helpless victim, who was flailing on the ground, trying to get away from the vicious assault. She managed to wiggle her foreleg out of Apple Bloom's mouth, revealing tiny, bloody bite marks where Apple Bloom had latched on. Now that nothing was trapping her, Diamond began wiggling away from Apple Bloom's blows towards Silver Spoon, who could only watch on in horror.

Seeing her victim escaping, Apple Bloom hopped over Diamond Tiara to cut off her escape route, and brought her hoof down one more time on Diamond Tiara's neck. Diamond's whole body spasmed, and a weak gurgle escaped from her throat.

Then she was still.

Apple Bloom stared down at the body of the pony who used to be her greatest torment. There was no mistaking it in her mind. The way her head was bleeding, the way her eyes and mouth were slightly cracked open, and the way that her chest didn't rise and fall left no doubt that Diamond Tiara was dead.

Apple Bloom's glare faded away, and her mouth curved up in a subtle smile. Never before had she felt such power. She felt like she could buck every apple in Sweet Apple Acres in an hour. She gently poked at the corpse of her bully, and gave an amused scoff when it didn't move.

"Y'all ain't gonna be mean ta me no more, are ya? Yer just gonna lie there like a dead dog." Apple Bloom shook her head, her smile widening a little more. "Like the dog ya are."

As Apple Bloom stared at the body, she registered a noise behind her. It sounded like sniffling. She swiveled her ear in that direction, and realized that it was Silver Spoon who was whimpering. The anger coursed through Apple Bloom again, and the glare crossed her face again. Spoon was just as guilty as her friend. She was just as evil. With a growl, Apple Bloom put all of her weight on her forehooves, and snapped out with her back legs, relishing the feeling of her hooves connecting with Silver Spoon. She heard Spoon squeal in pain, and she turned around to see that she had been knocked back a good three or four hooves. Spoon managed to gain her bearings and look up at Apple Bloom just in time to see her former victim charging at her, the same venom and fire in her eyes that she had when she had killed Diamond. Silver squealed, shot to her hooves, and began running towards the schoolhouse and the safety of her teacher.

Just as she was about to reach the door, Apple Bloom slammed into her in a diving tackle that sent them both to the ground. Silver Spoon's head hit the door frame of the schoolhouse. Before she could so much as move, Apple Bloom grabbed her head and began repeatedly bashing it into the ground. Silver Spoon couldn't even scream because of the pain, but Apple Bloom kept going until her bully was still.

Apple Bloom took a deep breath and slid off of Silver Spoon's body, the powerful feeling having returned full force. She smiled again and cracked her neck. "Y'all ain't gonna hurt me no more. Y'all are done makin' fun of me."

"Apple Bloom?"

Apple Bloom's eyes widened, and she looked up to see Cheerilee standing in the doorway of the schoolhouse, staring straight at her with unblinking eyes.

Apple Bloom took a step backwards and flattened her ears. "Uh... Ms. Cheerilee, Ah can explain..."

"Apple Bloom? Are you okay?" Cheerilee frowned and tilted her head. "Did you not hear me?"

Apple Bloom blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she was inside the classroom, surrounded by her schoolmates. She quietly inhaled, and looked around. Cheerilee was looking at her in the same way as before, as were most of her other classmates. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were sitting beside each other, whispering about something.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

She had wanted to hurt them. To kill them. If the daydream was anything to go by, it would have felt... amazing. Apple Bloom's stomach twisted into a million knots, and her lower jaw began quivering. She had wanted to hurt them.

"Apple Bloom?" Apple Bloom turned her head back to Cheerilee whose look of confusion had turned to one of concern. "Are you okay? Are you feeling sick?"

"Ah..." Apple Bloom blinked and wiped her eyes with a foreleg. "Ah... Ah gotta go to the bathroom."

Without waiting for Cheerilee's response, Apple Bloom slid off of her desk and ran towards the school bathroom. A single sob escaped her throat just as she left the room. She had no illusions that it had gone unheard, but she didn't care. She just had to leave.

She reached the school bathroom and ran inside, slamming the door behind her and curling up under the sinks. Confident that she had a little privacy, she completely broke down. Tears streamed down her face, and she didn't even bother trying to wipe them away.

"Ah don't wanna hurt nopony," Apple Bloom whimpered between sobs. "Ah don't even w-wanna hurt them! Ah just want them ta leave me alone!"

Apple Bloom found herself wishing that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were in school, but Scootaloo had been sick for the past week and Sweetie Belle was in Manehattan with her sister. She was alone. If she wanted to deal with the abuse that her bullies dealt out, she would have to do it without the support of her best friends.

As Apple Bloom lay under the sinks sobbing, she heard the door to the bathroom open, and saw Cheerilee walk into the bathroom, looking around for her student.

"Apple Bloom?" Cheerilee shut the door behind her and looked into an empty stall. "Apple Bloom? Can I talk to you? I've sent your classmates out to recess, so this will be private."

Apple Bloom sniffled, something that Cheerilee didn't miss. She turned around and sat down in front of the sinks, locking eyes with Apple Bloom. She reached out a hoof and gently placed it on Apple Bloom's shoulder.

"It's okay," she said softly. "You're okay, Apple Bloom. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

Apple Bloom sniffled again and wiped her eyes. "Ah... Ah'm a bad pony, Ms. Cheerilee."

"Now don't you say that, Apple Bloom!" Cheerilee opened her forelegs, and Apple Bloom went into her embrace. "You are one of the most kind, happy, and good ponies that I have ever had the honor of teaching. You are the farthest thing from a bad pony."

"B-but... Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon make me so mad!" Apple Bloom nuzzled into Cheerilee's chest as her teacher began stroking her mane. "Ah don't wanna be mad at them, but Ah am! Ah..." Apple Bloom wiped her eyes as the tears began brimming again. "Ah have thought sometimes. Bad feelin's 'bout hurtin' them."

"Hurting them?" Cheerilee frowned and tilted her head. "What do you mean hurting them, Apple Bloom?"

"Ah have thoughts of them teasin' me. Ah mean really teasin' me bad. Talkin' 'bout mah ma and sayin' she died because of me. Then..." Apple Bloom's lower jaw wobbled, and she put her forehooves over her eyes. "Then Ah hit them. Ah hit them both so much that... it kills them, Ms. Cheerilee. Then Ah feel real good, like strong or somethin'." Apple Bloom sniffled and looked up at her teacher. "Am Ah a bad pony, Ms. Cheerilee?"

"Apple Bloom..." Cheerilee slowly took a deep breath and continued stroking Apple Bloom's mane, but her expression was blank. "No, I do not think that you are a bad pony. However, these are not good thoughts that you have, and I think that you need help. You don't want those thoughts, do you?"

Apple Bloom's eyes widened, and she shook her head. "No, Ms. Cheerilee! Ah don't want 'em! Ah feel like a bad pony whenever Ah have 'em!"

"Apple Bloom, like I said, you are not a bad pony, but you do need help to get rid of these thoughts." Cheerilee gently put Apple Bloom down and stood up. "If you want then you could go see the school counselor about it. I'm sure that he would be more than willing to give you advice on what to do about it."

Apple Bloom wiped her eyes again and took a deep, shaky breath. "Okay, Ms. Cheerilee. If ya think that would help."

"I do." Cheerilee led Apple Bloom out of the bathroom and pointed her towards a hallway that she had never been down before. "The counselor will be able to help you, I think. He's a very nice pony, and he wants what's best for all of the students at this school."

"Okay." Apple Bloom lowered her head and flattened her ears. "Ah'm sorry, Ms. Cheerilee. Ah don't mean to be a bother to nopony or nothin'."

"You are not a bother, Apple Bloom. Never believe that." Cheerilee stopped in front of a doorway that read "School Counselor" and turned to Apple Bloom. "You just have some scars inflicted by two nasty ponies. I will be sure to talk to them about it. Before I do, just give me a few minutes to talk to the counselor. I want to let him know what's going on."

"Okay."

Cheerilee nodded and pushed the door open. Apple Bloom heard her greet the pony on the other side before the door closed behind her and the conversation became muffled. Apple Bloom sat down against the wall opposite the door and poked at the floor, her ears and bow flat. The thought crossed her mind that maybe she should run, that seeing this counselor was a bad idea. A sinking feeling began creeping up in her chest, and it got worse when she looked up at the counselor's door.

She could run. Maybe she could go back to her house and explain everything to Applejack. Then Applejack would help her. Maybe her friends too.

Before she could think any further about it, the door to the counselor's office opened, and Cheerilee came out. "Okay, Apple Bloom, the school counselor is ready to see you."

Apple Bloom nodded and pushed herself to her hooves. She walked towards the counselor's office, but was stopped when she felt Cheerilee put a hoof on her back.

"Feel better, okay, Apple Bloom?"

"Yeah." Apple Bloom sighed and nodded again. "Yeah, Ah'll do that."

Cheerilee gave a nod of her own and walked back down the hallway to her students, allowing Apple Bloom to walk into the counselor's office. Inside was a gray earth pony with a notepad cutie mark, sitting on a swivel chair and jotting down a few things in a notebook. He turned his head when he saw Apple Bloom walk in, and he smiled at her.

"Ah, you must be Apple Bloom." He extended a hoof and Apple Bloom shook it. "Take a seat." Apple Bloom saw a plush armchair opposite the counselor, and she hopped up on it. "My name is Mind Helper. I understand you have some bad thoughts about some of your classmates? Can you tell me about those?"

"Yeah, Ah guess." Apple Bloom lowered her gaze to the ground. "Ah have two classmates that are real mean ta me. Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. They say nasty things ta me all the time like how Ah don't have a cutie mark. They're mean ta me and mah friends 'bout that."

"I see. And that gives you bad thoughts?"

"Yeah." Apple Bloom bit her lip and twitched one ear. "Ah have thoughts sometimes 'bout hurtin' them. Even callin' them some pretty bad things."

"Hurting them how?"

"Like hittin' them. A lot. Hittin' them so much that they..." A single tear streaked down Apple Bloom's face, and she sniffled. "So much that they die."

"You kill them in these fantasies?" Mind Helper grunted, and Apple Bloom heard him writing on his notepad. "How does that make you feel?"

"In these thoughts, it makes me feel real good. Powerful, ya know? They can't be mean ta me no more." Apple Bloom wiped an eye with a foreleg. "But when I get out of 'em, Ah feel real bad. Ah had one today and went into the bathroom cryin'."

"I see." Mind Helper cleared his throat, and Apple Bloom glanced up at him. All traces of the smile he had were gone, replaced by a slight frown. "Now this is an important question, Apple Bloom: do you think that you could ever act on those fantasies? Would you ever hurt Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon like that?"

"Ah..." Apple Bloom rubbed the back of her neck. "Ah dunno. If they really, really, really pushed me far and Ah had already had a bad day then maybe. It'd be a, what does Rarity call it, a perfect storm, or somethin' like that?"

"Hmm..." Mind Helper put his pencil down and leaned back in his chair, his forelegs crossed. "Apple Bloom, do you know what an M-1 hold is?"

Apple Bloom looked up at Mind Helper and frowned, her head slightly tilted. "Uh... no, Ah don't. Is it somethin' bad?"

"Well, maybe, maybe not." Mind Helper cleared his throat and stood up from his chair. "Basically we would transport you to a hospital to put you under a seventy two hour hold to make sure that you wouldn't do anything bad."

Apple Bloom gasped, and she shot to her hooves, reaching one out to Mind Helper. "B-but Ah ain't like that! Ah don't wanna hurt nopony!"

"Apple Bloom, this is merely precautionary. It's not definite, but I need to talk to some ponies about doing it. If they don't agree with my idea, then we won't transport you and you'll just need to come see me once or twice a week."

Apple Bloom whimpered and laid down on the chair to curl into a ball. "But Ah don't wanna hurt nopony. Can Ah just see you?"

"I'll talk to a few ponies about it. Just give me a few moments." Mind Helper walked out of his office, leaving Apple Bloom alone. Apple Bloom squeezed her eyes shut and covered her head with her forelegs.

"Ah don't wanna be a bad pony," she whined. "Ah don't wanna hurt nopony." She took a deep breath and thought back to her sister and her sister's friends, wondering what they would do if they were here. "Pinkie Pie... Pinkie Pie would tell me to giggle at the ghosties, maybe. She'd laugh and try ta make me not feel so bad. Applejack would hug me and tell me that everythin's gonna be okay. She might even tell them not to take me away. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo would help Applejack with that." Apple Bloom whimpered again and nuzzled into the seat of the chair. "Ah just wanna go home."

The door to the office opened, and Apple Bloom looked up to see Mind Helper walk in. He walked over to his chair and sat down on it, his expression grim.

"Okay, we are going to transport you. I have a police officer coming to take you to the hospital where they'll talk to you about what you're thinking. You'll just go to Ponyville General first, then maybe an actual mental health facility if the psych staff feels that it necessary."

At the news that she was going to be taken, Apple Bloom's mouth curved up in a smile, and a single laugh escaped her throat. Mind Helper raised an eyebrow and tilted his head as Apple Bloom laughed again. The floodgates burst open, and Apple Bloom continued laughing, her laughter echoing through the room.

"Er... why are you laughing, Apple Bloom? I don't really think that this is funny."

"It ain't..." Apple Bloom giggled before taking a deep breath and looking up at Mind Helper. "It's what mah friend Pinkie Pie would do. She laughs when she's scared so that what's happenin' doesn't feel so scary no more."

"I see." Mind Helper gave a single nod. "Yes, I know Pinkie Pie. That is what she'd do, I think."

The door to the office opened again, and Apple Bloom saw a police officer walk in. He smiled at Apple Bloom and extended a hoof which Apple Bloom shook. "Good afternoon, Apple Bloom. My name is Storm Chaser. I'll be taking you to the hospital today."

"Okay." Apple Bloom giggled again and nodded. "Okay."

Storm Chaser raised an eyebrow and glanced over at Mind Helper who grimaced. "She's not laughing because she thinks this is funny, it's more of a coping mechanism."

"Ah." Storm Chaser nodded. "Yes, that makes sense." He turned his attention back to Apple Bloom. "Okay, we should get going. I'm sorry, Apple Bloom, but protocol says that I have to hoofcuff you. It's not because you're a criminal or anything like that, it's just that I have to do it for everybody."

Instantly Apple Bloom's laughter died, and she looked up at Storm Chaser with wide eyes. "N-no! Ah ain't no criminal! C-can we do this without those? Ah don't wanna..."

"I'm sorry, Apple Bloom, but like I said, this is protocol. You're not a criminal. This is just officer safety protocol."

"We'll be taking you out of the back entrance," Mind Helper said. "Don't worry. None of your classmates are going to see it."

"They'll be taken off the moment we get to the hospital, I promise." Storm Chaser ignited his horn and slipped a pair of hoofcuffs off of his belt. "But I'm afraid that I have no choice in the matter. I don't like doing it, Apple Bloom, and if I didn't have to I most certainly wouldn't."

"Okay..." Apple Bloom slid off of the chair and squeezed her eyes shut. "Just don't make 'em too tight or keep 'em on too long."

"I definitely won't."

Apple Bloom held her breath as she felt the hoofcuffs get closer. Despite herself, she let out a single whimper as she felt them placed over her forelegs. She felt Storm Chaser check them by gently tugging on the chain between the cuffs. They didn't move an inch.

"Okay, the worst part about that's over Apple Bloom. We'll just get you into the wagon, to the hospital, and then I'll take them right off." Apple Bloom opened one eye and saw Storm Chaser ignite his horn. She was lifted off of the ground and put on his back. "This won't take very long, I promise."

"Okay," Apple Bloom whispered.

Mind Helper walked up to Apple Bloom and gently patted her on the head, a small, sympathetic smile on his face. "You're going to be okay, Apple Bloom. I'm sorry that all of this is happening to you, but I do feel that it is necessary. I wouldn't do it otherwise."

"Ah know. Yer just doin' yer job." Apple Bloom glanced down at her forelegs, and flinched when she saw the hoofcuffs on them. "Ah'll try ta be brave."

"I'm sure you will be." Mind Helper rubbed Apple Bloom's back. "I'm sure you will be."

"Well, we gotta go now," Storm Chaser said. "I'll get her to the hospital safe and sound."

"I understand." Mind Helper moved back to his chair and picked up his pencil. "I'll speak to you later."

"Alright."

With that, Storm Chaser walked back out of the door, being careful not to jostle Apple Bloom too much. He walked further down the hallway that they had come down to the back entrance of the school. When they reached it, the officer pushed it open and walked outside. Apple Bloom looked up and saw a police wagon with no windows parked just outside of the school. She flattened her ears and did her best to cover her head with her forelegs. Storm Chaser ignited his horn and opened up the back doors to the wagon before lifting Apple Bloom into the air and placing her on the floor.

"Okay, this is only a five minute ride, alright? We'll get to the hospital and I'll take your hoofcuffs off immediately." Storm Chaser closed the doors of the wagon, locking Apple Bloom inside.

Apple Bloom crawled over to a bench inside of the wagon and positioned herself under it as the wagon began moving. As it went towards the hospital, Apple Bloom thought about her family and her fellow Crusaders. If only they could see her now: chained up and in the back of a police wagon like a criminal. A psychopath. A bad pony.

"No other kind of pony has this happen to her," Apple Bloom muttered. "Ah... Ah'm a bad pony. Ah don't wanna hurt nopony, though."

After a few minutes, Apple Bloom felt the wagon stop, and she heard Storm Chaser moving to the back of the wagon. The doors opened, and Apple Bloom could see Ponyville General behind him. She moved out from under the bench and Storm Chaser lifted her out of the wagon.

"Alright, Apple Bloom, I promised these stupid things would come off, and I'm keeping that promise." Storm Chaser lit his horn and a key came from off his belt. He inserted it into the lock of Apple Bloom's hoofcuffs, and they came right off. Apple Bloom rubbed the place where the hoofcuffs were. Somehow she could still feel them on her. "Alright, that's better, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Apple Bloom muttered.

"Good. Let's get inside, then."

Apple Bloom followed Storm Chaser into the emergency room of the hospital, where a receptionist was behind a desk. She looked up when she saw Apple Bloom and Storm Chaser walk in and smiled at the two of them.

"Hello," Storm Chaser said when they reached the desk, "I'm here to check her in." He motioned to Apple Bloom. "It's for a hold."

The receptionist nodded and took a few pieces of paper out of a blue folder. "Alright, I just need you to fill out these forms and we'll get you checked in."

"Er..." Apple Bloom looked up at the clipboard the receptionist was holding. "Don't Ah need ta be a little older ta fill these out myself?"

"This is just basic preliminary check-in paperwork showing that you know why you're here. Foals your age can fill this out if capable. If you were somehow incapable of answering these basic questions, we'd wait until your guardians arrived." The receptionist picked up a small stack of blue forms and showed them to Apple Bloom. "We'll give some more to your guardians who I'm sure the school has contacted by now. Those deals with things like your rights and the next steps. They'll likely go over it with you and then sign it themselves."

The receptionist put the papers on a clipboard and levitated the clipboard and a pen to Apple Bloom. She took the pen in her mouth and sat down on the floor to fill out the paperwork. Date of birth, current date, and a signature stating that she knew why she was there.

When she was done, Apple Bloom gave the clipboard to the receptionist, who exchanged it with a foreleg band that she secured to Apple Bloom's foreleg. "Alright, just go on back and we'll take care of you okay?"

Storm Chaser nodded. "Alright. Thank you."

Storm Chaser led Apple Bloom through a set of double doors, where several doctors and nurses were moving about. One of them was waiting behind a desk, and Storm Chaser led Apple Bloom to the desk. The doctor smiled down at her and pointed to a chair beside the desk.

"Hello," the doctor said as Apple Bloom sat on the chair. "Your name is Apple Bloom?" Apple Bloom nodded and the doctor nodded back. "Alright, I just need to take your blood pressure really fast, then we'll get you into a room."

The doctor wrapped a black foreleg band around the upper half of Apple Bloom's foreleg and began pushing down on a pump that inflated the band. After a few seconds the band deflated, and the doctor jotted down Apple Bloom's blood pressure on a clipboard.

"Alright, that's done with. We'll get you a hospital gown and your room." The doctor got off of his chair and Storm Chaser tilted his head in a small bow.

"I guess that's my cue to leave." He gently patted Apple Bloom's head and gave her a small smile. "Feel better, okay?"

Apple Bloom lowered her head and shrugged. "Maybe."

"Alright, just come this way, Apple Bloom." The doctor gave a nod of his own to Storm Chaser before leading Apple Bloom through the hospital. He led her to a small room covered only by a curtain and opened the curtain, revealing some medical equipment and a bed. He pointed towards the bed which had a hospital gown on it. Apple Bloom hopped onto the bed and slipped the gown on. At the doctor's request she hopped onto the bed.

"Okay, so I just need to ask you a few questions." The doctor took a notepad and pen out of his front pocket. "Are you carrying any weapons or sharp objects?"

Apple Bloom shook her head. "No."

"Okay. Today's date?"

"Tuesday the eleventh."

"Who rules the land?"

"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

"Good." The doctor finished writing down her answers before putting the notepad back in his coat pocket. "Now, I'm sorry, but I am going to have to take your bow."

Apple Bloom squeaked and covered her head, blocking the bow from his sight. "No! That was mah ma's! She gave it to me just before she died!"

The doctor grimaced and put a hoof on the bed next to Apple Bloom. "I'm sorry, Apple Bloom, but it's protocol. Based on your reason for admittance, we have to cover all possibilities. We need to make sure you aren't going to hurt anypony with it, yourself included."

"How could Ah hurt anypony with mah bow?!" Apple Bloom scooted a few inches away from the doctor. "It's just a bow!"

"You'd be surprised how ponies manage to hurt themselves with mundane objects." The doctor sighed and shook his head. "I used to be an army doctor-slash-psychologist. I've seen ponies try to hang themselves with ribbon not unlike yours or stab themselves with pencils. It's just a precaution that the state requires us to take in a situation like this. You're going to get it right back once this is all over. I promise. We'll take good care of it."

Apple Bloom whimpered and gently caressed her bow. "Ah don't wanna."

"I'm sorry, but you have to. I don't want to be forceful about it, but if you could cooperate, this will go easier for the both of us."

"Okay," Apple Bloom said in a tiny voice. "Okay."

Slowly Apple Bloom grabbed one of the ends of her bow in the crook of her foreleg and pulled, undoing the knot. The doctor extended his foreleg, and Apple Bloom hoofed him the untied bow. The doctor inclined his head and put the bow in his front pocket.

"I'll make sure this is well taken care of, Apple Bloom. You don't have to worry about this getting lost or damaged, I promise." Apple Bloom turned on the bed until her back was to the doctor, her forelegs covering her head. She heard the doctor sigh and walk out of the room, covering the entrance of the room with the curtain.

"Ah don't wanna hurt nopony, even me," Apple Bloom whispered. "Ah..." Her tears returned, and she wiped them away with the edge of the pillowcase. "Ah just wanna go home."

And so Apple Bloom laid on the bed, unmoving, thinking about everything that she had lost. She wondered if it would have been better if she had just said nothing at all, and left her thoughts to herself. Maybe she should have asked Applejack or Big Mac for help. They wouldn't have done this to her. They wouldn't see her like an evil pony. They'd actually help her.

It was half an hour before Apple Bloom heard the curtain being pulled back again, and somepony walk into the room. She raised her head and looked back to see a police officer walk in, a folder underneath his wing. He walked up to Apple Bloom and put the folder on the bed.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Bloom. I'm here representing the school board." The officer took two pieces of paper and a pen out of the folder. "Based on what you told Ms. Cheerilee and Mr. Mind Helper, the school board has seen fit to ban you from the premises. Ms. Tiara and Ms. Spoon have been informed about what you said regarding them as well. Should you be seen back on school grounds you will be arrested, is that clear?"

"Ah..." Apple Bloom blinked once and looked down at the papers. "Uh... what?"

The officer closed the folder and put the papers on top, pushing them and the pen over to her. "I just need you to sign these saying that you understand that you are not to have contact with Ms. Tiara or Ms. Spoon, and that you are not allowed on school grounds anymore under penalty of arrest in both cases."

"Ah..." Apple Bloom's lower jaw quivered for what seemed like the tenth time that day, and she began scanning the papers. "W-what about me goin' back ta school? Ah can't miss too much or Ah’ll really fall behind."

The officer clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Yeah, don't expect to be doing that anymore. The school board is taking this quite seriously. You don't have to sign these papers, but it would be best if you did."

A single sob escaped Apple Bloom's lips, but she took the pen in her mouth and signed the bottom lines on both documents. The officer nodded and put one of the papers on the counter near the bed before putting the other one and the pen back in the folder. With his work done, the officer put the folder back under his wing and walked out of the room.

Now alone, the tears began flowing freely from Apple Bloom's eyes, and she collapsed back down on the pillow. Her tears stained the pillow and she began audibly sobbing, her cries filling the room.

"Ah... Ah'm sorry!" she wailed between sobs. "Ah just didn't wanna be angry no more! Ah just didn't wanna be angry!"

Author's Note

Based on a true story. Everything presented here happened to me. I'm not trying to present it as fair or right, but this is actually how it all went down. No exaggeration.

Taken

Apple Bloom's weeping stopped, and wiped her eyes on the corner of the pillowcase she was resting her head on. Two wet spots stained the spots where she had cried into the pillow. Apple Bloom sniffled and noticed that she was lying on a blanket, which she pulled out from under herself and got under. It was, thankfully, extremely warm, which did help calm the tightness in her chest.

"Ah wanna go home," she whimpered. "Ah'm sorry fer bein' angry at them. Ah don't wanna hurt nopony."

The curtain opened and Apple Bloom looked up to see a new doctor walk in, levitating a clipboard, folding chair, and pen. He gave her a single nod and put the chair down on the ground before sitting on it. "Good afternoon, Ms. Bloom. I'm the hospital psychologist. I'll be evaluating you to see if it is necessary to take you to a mental health facility."

"Okay," Apple Bloom whispered.

"Okay." The psychologist looked down at the clipboard and clicked his pen. "Now, I understand that you had some homicidal ideations about two of your classmates who were verbally abusive. Can you tell me about those?"

Apple Bloom flattened her ears and looked down at the bed. "Well, Ah get real mad about how they make fun of me fer not havin' mah cutie mark and stuff like that. They do it every day, and no matter what mah teacher does to them they keep goin'! They even do it when we're not in school. Ah guess..." Apple Bloom took a deep breath and poked at a loose threat in the blanket. "Ah just didn't know what ta do 'bout it. Nothin' seemed ta really work, ya know? They just wouldn't leave me alone, and so Ah guess Ah thought about how Ah could make them leave me alone."

"By hurting or killing them?"

"Ah guess," Apple Bloom muttered. "Ah don't wanna hurt anypony, not even them, but Ah was scared that Ah might. The last thought Ah had was today, and it made me cry. Ah... Ah'm real scared of the thoughts."

"Hmm..." The psychologist jotted a few things down on his notebook before looking back up at Apple Bloom. "Scared of the thoughts in general, or scared that you might act of them?"

"Both, Ah guess." Apple Bloom sniffled and wiped her eyes as the tears started coming back. "Ah feel like a psychopath. Been treated like one too, Ah feel."

"Well we don't think you're a psychopath, Apple Bloom, this is merely to make sure that you get the help you need to not act on those thoughts or feelings, okay?" The psychologist finished writing down a few more notes before clicking his pen and sliding it onto the clipboard. "Okay, just let us know if you need anything. We'll be coming in periodically to talk to you about what happens next."

"Uh..." The psychologist looked up at Apple Bloom, who was reaching out to him. "Do ya think Ah'm gonna be put in a mental hospital? Ah don't really wanna. Ah'd rather go home with mah family."

The doctor grimaced and sighed, running a hoof through his mane as he did. "Well, I won't sugar coat it, Apple Bloom. Based on the nature of what you said, I'd say that it's almost definite that we will transport you to a mental health facility. I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to happen."

With that, the doctor left the room, shutting the curtain behind him. Apple Bloom whimpered and leaned her head back on her pillow, the tight feeling in her chest increasing. With nothing else to do, she could only lie there and stare at the wall.

And so time passed, each second that ticked by felt like an eternity, and Apple Bloom felt herself wishing that she could just fall asleep to pass the time, but the events of the day kept her eyes open, and anything resembling sleep eluded her.

And time ticked by.

There was no clock to indicate how much time had gone by, and Apple Bloom suspected that if she had a timepiece of some sort, they would have taken that too. She could only lie there. Alone. Maybe she had been waiting for hours, maybe mere minutes.

After a while, Apple Bloom heard the curtain open and she raised her head to see the doctor who had taken her bow walk into her room. "Your brother and sister have arrived, Apple Bloom." He smiled at her. "They want to see you. Should I send them in?"

"Uh..." Apple Bloom looked down at the floor and flattened her ears. "Ah dunno. Ah wanna see them, but Ah don't really want them ta see me like this."

"Apple Bloom..." The doctor put a hoof on her shoulder. "They're your family. They stick with you through everything. They won't care if you're down right now; they'll want to support you through everything. If you don't want to see them right now, you don't have to, but I think it would be good for you to have their support."

Apple Bloom took a deep breath and slowly nodded, looking back up at the doctor. "Okay. Ah do wanna see 'em, Ah just didn't want 'em ta see me like this."

The doctor nodded in response. "Yes, I understand that, but they want to see you. Should I send them in?"

"Yeah." Apple Bloom pushed herself up to a sitting position and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. "Yeah, Ah wanna see 'em."

"Very well." The doctor walked back to the curtain and poked his head out of the room, saying something that Apple Bloom couldn't hear. After a few seconds, he moved aside just in time to avoid Applejack, who bolted into the room and immediately scooped Apple Bloom up and held her tight.

"Apple Bloom, yer okay!" Applejack nuzzled her sister just as Big Mac walked in, a blank expression on his face. "Yer gonna be fine, Apple Bloom, ya hear? We're gonna try ta take you home as soon as possible, okay? Yer not a bad pony."

"But Ah had thoughts of killin' Diamond Tiara 'n Silver Spoon, Applejack." Apple Bloom leaned her head into her sister's chest and closed her eyes. "Ah don't wanna hurt 'em, but Ah had bad thoughts about it."

"Ah know, Apple Bloom, but it's okay. We're gonna get ya outta here then we'll see about havin' you talk to a pony who actually knows how ta handle situations like this. Somepony who ain't gonna treat you like yer some criminal who's gotta be locked up."

"But they told Diamond Tiara 'n Silver Spoon 'bout what Ah said! They're gonna be worse than ever now!"

"Nnope." Apple Bloom opened her eyes and looked up at Big Mac who was shaking his head. "School talked ta them. They're lookin' inta everythin'."

"Besides, we had a talk with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon before we came over." Applejack gave Apple Bloom a comforting smile. "Diamond Tiara didn't say nothin', but Ah could tell she was upset, and not 'cause of you personally. Silver Spoon couldn't believe her ears. Said that she knows you would never hurt her. She was really upset that this happened to you because of her. She looked like she was 'bout ta cry when we left."

"Oh," Apple Bloom muttered, shutting her eyes again. "Okay, Ah guess."

"So ya see, it's all gonna be fine. The school's gonna really look inta what they've been doin'." Applejack began stroking Apple Bloom's mane, but paused when she got to the part where Apple Bloom's bow normally resided. She frowned and focused her attention on the spot. "Uh... AB? Where's yer bow? Didja lose it or somethin'?"

Apple Bloom shook her head and reflexively touched the spot where her bow usually was. "No. They took it from me when they brought me here. They said Ah could hurt somepony or mahself if Ah have it."

Apple Bloom felt herself being dropped back down on the bed, and opened her eyes to see Applejack wheel on the doctor, her face red and her eyes glaring. "A bow?! Y'all think that she's just gonna up and murder somepony with a mane bow?!"

The doctor took a half step back and flattened his ears. "Er... well, it's precautionary only. We do it for everypony who goes through this kind of thing. We wouldn't do it if we didn't feel that it was necessary."

"That bow was our ma's!" Applejack screeched, slamming a hoof on the floor. "Ain't it bad enough that yer treatin' her like some psychopath?! You gotta take away the thing that means the most to her?!"

"Look, once this is over she can have it back! We aren't damaging it." The doctor pointed back to the main hallway outside of Apple Bloom's room. "We have it in a magically protected safe! It's going to be returned to her no worse for wear."

"Yeah, right now, as a matter of fact." Applejack's eyes narrowed, and she moved so close to the doctor she was shout-to-snout with him. "Y'all are gonna let us take her home with us. You ain't got no right ta be doin' this to her! She's ten fer Celestia's sake!"

"Ms. Applejack, this is precautionary measure only. At worst she'll spend two and a half days or so at an institution where they will monitor her and then release her to your care. She'll likely have to see a psychologist at any rate, but we do not think she's some psychopath or criminal!"

"No, you just treat her like one." Applejack wheeled around and moved back over to Apple Bloom to put a hoof on her back. "Y'all are gonna let us take her home. We'll get her ta talk to some ponies about how she's feelin', but y'all ain't gonna lock her up in some nuthouse."

"Ms. Applejack, it isn't a nuthouse. It's a mental observation facility. It's two or three days of mental evaluation, after which she goes home if the doctors feel that she is safe to do so." The doctor sighed and looked down at Apple Bloom with a grimace. "I know that this is difficult for all of you. I've seen enough of these to know that this hurts everypony, but if Apple Bloom ever did hurt her classmates and we could have stopped it here..." His gaze flicked up to Applejack. "Would you take that risk? Would you take a gamble like that?"

Applejack's jaw tightened but she didn't immediately respond. She took a deep breath and put her forelegs around Apple Bloom's shoulders. "Ah've known Apple Bloom every second of her life. Ah know what kind of filly she is, even if yer too blind to see it. She ain't a bad pony. She hasn't even so much as squished a fly, and y'all think she would just murder two of her classmates?" Applejack scoffed and shook her head. "No. That ain't how it works."

"I understand your position, but legally you cannot take her out of here until we give the okay." The doctor sighed and shook his head. "And all indications from everypony that I've talked to is that she will be transported to a mental health facility. I'm sorry, but we can't ignore what she said."

"Oh, and y'all think that we'd ignore it if ya let her go?!" Applejack scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Y'all don't think very much of us if'n you think we'd just ignore this and not get her any help at all."

"Unfortunately it's not up to either of us whether she is transported, it's up to the hospital's psychological staff." The doctor shook his head. "And their consensus seems to be that she is to be taken to the facility. I'll let you know if that changes at all, or when she will be transported."

With that, the doctor walked out of the room, pulling the curtain closed behind him. Apple Bloom whimpered, and Applejack wrapped her back up in a tight hug. "Yer gonna be fine, Apple Bloom. Yer not a bad filly, and even if they do take you, they're gonna see that real fast and let you come home."

"But Ah don't wanna go, Applejack." A pair of tears streaked down Apple Bloom's face, and she leaned her head into her sister's chest. "Ah don't wanna go to some place where they're gonna treat me like Ah'm crazy. Ah wanna go home with you. Ah don't wanna ever see Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon again! Ah wanna see Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo! Ah w-wanna..." A single sob escaped Apple Bloom's throat, and she felt Big Mac put a hoof on her back. "Ah wanna go home!"

"Ah know, Apple Bloom, Ah know," Applejack cooed. "We want you to come home too, but you need to be very brave, okay? This'll all be over soon, alright?"

"Okay," Apple Bloom whispered.

"Good. Now you just try to get some rest, Apple Bloom. Big Mac and Ah will be right here ta watch over you. We're gonna do our best to make sure that don't halfta go anywhere, okay?" Apple Bloom nodded, and Applejack gently laid her down on the bed. She put the blanket on top of her and tucked her in before giving her a kiss on the forehead and a comforting smile. "You comfortable, Apple Bloom? You need another blanket?"

Apple Bloom shut her eyes halfway and shook her head. "No, Ah think Ah'm okay Ah just wanna get some sleep."

"Well you do that, Apple Bloom." Applejack began gently stroking Apple Bloom's mane. "Big Mac and Ah will be right here when you wake up, okay? We'll take care of everythin'."

* * * *

Apple Bloom woke up some time later to the smell of a hayburger wafting through her room. She opened her eyes fully and raised her head to see a tray next to her bed with a hayburger and fries on it. She smiled and got into a sitting position, which alerted her siblings that she was awake. Applejack smiled at her and motioned to the food. "That's fer you, AB. They came by to ask 'bout dinner and we got that for ya. Figured you wouldn't mind."

Apple Bloom needed no further prompting. Having not eaten for a while, she grabbed the hayburger off of the paper plate and tore a large chunk off of it, which she needed a full minute to chew and swallow. Applejack stood up from where she was laying and walked over to her sister, who had already finished half of the hayburger.

"Didja sleep well, Apple Bloom?"

Apple Bloom nodded and finished her bite of burger. "Yeah, since you were here watchin' me Ah had an easier time of fallin' asleep." Apple Bloom ate the rest of her burger and pulled the plate of fries closer. "How long was Ah asleep?"

"'Bout five hours, Ah'd say," Applejack said. "No docs have been in yet ta talk to us, so we've just been' waitin'."

"Waitin' and doin' what?" Apple Bloom picked up a hoofful of fries and tilted her head. "Just waitin'?"

"Some talkin', and we got dinner too," Big Mac said, "but mostly just watchin' over you."

"Okay." Apple Bloom finished up her fries and drained the small cup of apple juice she had been given. Now full, she pushed the tray away and leaned back down on the bed. "Ah just wish they would hurry up, ya know? That's the worst part: all this waitin'. They can't just decide right now what they're gonna do?"

"Well, we've just gotta be patient, Apple Bloom. They're busy at this hospital, Ah guess." Applejack began gently rubbing Apple Bloom's back and nuzzled the top of her head. "They'll figure everythin' out, and then we'll see what to do from there."

Apple Bloom nodded, and snuggled up underneath the blanket again to wait.

All she could do was wait and hope that everything would be okay, that the ponies running the hospital would be merciful, and see that she wasn't such a bad filly after all.

It was four more hours before the curtains opened again and the doctor walked in. All three Apples sat up as the doctor levitated a clipboard in front of him. "Okay, so it's been decided that we will take her to the mental health facility. We have a wagon coming from Celestial Peaks to take her, so when it gets here we'll be transporting her. It just went to transport another patient, so it'll be a few more hours, I think. Should be here around one or two in the morning." The doctor extended the clipboard. "I need one of you two to sign this. The hospital sent over some papers for her admittance. You can't come in the wagon with her, so you'll need to sign these now."

Applejack's expression hardened into a glare, and she stood up off of the floor. "Y'all mean ta say that not only are ya comin' in here ta tell us that mah innocent sister is gonna get taken away from us, but you have the gall ta offer us the papers commitin' her?! We gotta send her away ourselves?!"

"Ms. Applejack, please don't make this harder than it has to be for anypony." The doctor flipped the clipboard over until the papers were facing Applejack. "If you refuse to sign them then we will fill them out to the best of our ability. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that she will be committed regardless of your wishes."

"So mah sister basically got arrested because she asked fer help, is that it?" Applejack growled.

"No, Ms. Applejack, you misunderstand the situation. She's not been arrested. This will not go on any kind of criminal record."

Applejack scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "Hoofcuffs, restraining orders, police wagons, and she can't get out of it? Y'all are tellin' me that that's not bein' arrested? If it isn't then Ah don't know what is."

"She's not going to jail, Ms. Applejack." The doctor put the clipboard on the foot of Apple Bloom's bed. "Please, we just want what's best for Apple Bloom."

Applejack's jaw dropped, and she let out an incredulous scoff. "What's best fer Apple Bloom? You want what's best fer Apple Bloom? Doc, Ah pride mahself on being honest, it's how Ah was raised, and that's the..." Applejack groaned and began blinking rapidly, shifting uncomfortably where she stood. "That's the, well, if you'll excuse mah language, that's the biggest fuckin' lie Ah've ever heard! Y'all don't care at all 'bout her! Y'all are just concerned with yer fuckin' liability, or whatever! Y'all don't care 'bout any of us!"

The doctor's mouth flattened into a grimace, but he still pushed the clipboard closer to Applejack. "Ms. Applejack, this will all be easier for Apple Bloom if you sign these papers. She will be transported regardless, but these papers will help us take care of her better. You may not think that we care about Apple Bloom, but I know that you do, and things will get uglier if these papers are not signed."

Applejack's glare did not fade, and she stared the doctor down while Apple Bloom alternated looks between the two of them. It was a solid minute before Applejack took a deep breath and pulled the clipboard over to her. "If Ah find out that she's been mistreated in any way, Ah'll bring down wrath on y'all like you've never even imagined."

Applejack took the pen in her mouth and scribbled her signature on a few of the pages. When she was finished, she spit the pen back out and it bounced off of the clipboard and onto the floor. The doctor ignited his horn and picked up both the pen and clipboard, tilting his head at Applejack. "Thank you."

"Fuck off," Applejack growled.

The doctor quietly sighed, but didn't respond. He merely turned around and walked out of the room, shutting the curtain behind him. Applejack took a deep breath and turned back to Apple Bloom, and for the first time, Apple Bloom could see tears brimming in her sister's eyes. Applejack walked over to her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Ah... Ah'm sorry, Apple Bloom. Ah'm sorry."

Author's Note

In the interests of good taste and respect of privacy, all of the names and personal stories of the people represented will be changed. I'm not a jerk like that.

Although, one but of information that I don't think I made completely clear (which is all on me) this happened to me when I was 21 and in college. Recently.