Castlevania: Portrait of Chaos

Chapter Six, Part One: Isn’t This a Disaster?

Jonathan said to himself, “Oh boy, this will be scary for the children to understand, unless she says things I don’t even understand.”

Charlotte’s eyes were wide. Her ears were flat. She was struggling to even form a word syllable. In fact, it looked like she’d foam at the mouth any second now.

Stella was also wide-eyed. “I-I don’t think you need to ask her such things.” She said.

“You’re much too young to know, and I’m certain that the alleged stork story has been revealed to be a lie to you now.” Loretta added, shaking her head with a look of uncertainty on her face.

“Ah wanna know where babies come from.” Repeated the filly, stomping her hoof in frustration.

“Personally, I’m afraid now. I’m afraid that what my friend knows will take your innocence.” Jonathan said, ears flat. He sounded as if he were pleading the filly not to ask again.

“How much does she know?” Asked the filly, now looking at the red stallion.

“She owns a library as big as that of Twilight’s from where we come from.” Jonathan was quick to answer, his ears perked up. “And you and I both know that Twilight knows quite a lot.”

Charlotte was still struggling to form words. It was as if her brain shut down. Pumpkin Cake approached Charlotte and then she resumed sucking on Charlotte’s hoof.

“Ah wanna know where babies come from.” Repeated the filly again, this time with the look of a stubborn toddler on her face.

“Please, no. You don’t need to know where babies come from.” Jonathan said, shaking his head quickly before moving his hoof up to his neck and making an invisible dotted line with it, as if his head were going to be sliced off.

A voice from outside called out. “Applebloom! Where in tarnation are ya? Did ya forget that ya were grounded for breaking Granny’s favorite vase?”

Another voice joined. “Sweetie Belle! Return home at once! You still have a week left before your time-out is lifted!”

And a third. “Scootaloo! Come here!”

The three fillies whined and rushed behind the counter quick as a whip.

Jonathan remarked, “I recognize one of the voices, but who are the other two?”

Vincent shrugged and answered, “Perhaps siblings or maybe parents.”

“Sounds more like grouchy parents to me.” Loretta sighed. She decided to break away from the group and take her place at a waiting table.

“Might as well.” Stella said, mimicking her sister. The other three followed in haste, and Twilight did so as well.

Just in time too, for in walked three ponies, one of whom was the loudmouth known as Rainbow Dash. The second was an orange mare with a blond mane that was tied back, and she wore a cowboy hat. The third was almost pure white and her royal purple mane was expertly curled. On her head was a horn.

Twilight sighed and she pulled the fillies from behind the sweets cabinet with her magic.

“Why are you in here?” Asked the unicorn mare, a scornful glare in her eyes as she eyed the unicorn filly.

“Well, Sis, I was...I was…” Stuttered the filly, who was on the verge of crying.

“Applebloom!” Hissed the orange mare, staring at the red-maned filly.

“Ah wanted to repay that mean mare for makin’ my mane a wreck!” Shouted the red-maned filly, pointing an accusing hoof at Charlotte. The orange pony cast a glare at the blue unicorn.

“She and the other two crashed into me and not only put my muzzle in the dirt but made my back hurt for the rest of the day.” Charlotte said swiftly. “So I frazzled her mane a bit and did nothing else. It’s just hair, it can be fixed.”

“...Ya sure are tellin’ the truth. Ah can see it in yer eyes.” Replied the orange mare, turning back to Applebloom. “Now what do ya’ll have ta say ta her, sis?”

“She’s a meanie!” Screamed Applebloom, who broke down into a fitful sob.

“Foals these days…” Sighed the white unicorn, shaking her head disapprovingly before turning to Charlotte. “I’m terribly sorry, darling, that our little sisters tried to get revenge.”

“I don’t mind it too much. Unless they carry weapons and try stabbing me, they can’t do much to me considering that I am a unicorn.” Charlotte replied, smiling.

Applejack stammered, “Waaaait, ya’ll have had ponies come at ya in the past with weapons!?”

“Yeah. Wasn’t fun at all. And please do not mention the fact that some of them had more than one lance on them, so to speak.” Charlotte replied, ears flat.

“Umm, Charlotte, some of them were actually armored--”Jonathan started, only to find a blue hoof between his teeth.

“Ignore him, he has a bad habit of talking about past experiences when it’s not needed.” Charlotte sighed quickly.

“Okay then.” Sighed the orange mare, trotting towards the still-floating Applebloom.

“Applejack, could you be a dear and take Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo to the Boutique? Scootaloo did something that involved my sewing needles and she needs to pay her penance.” Sighed the white unicorn, glancing at Loretta.

“Sure.” Applejack replied, grasping all three fillies and dragging them out the door by their tails. Rainbow began following the mare, thank God.

Rainbow looked back for a second at Jonathan, “I still want to know everything CHUMP!”

Jonathan pulled the blue hoof out of his mouth. “Learn magic and turn me into a mare first, then I’ll talk!” He retorted. Rainbow went ‘hmph’ and trotted out the door.

The white unicorn trotted over to the group, her eyes still on Loretta for some reason. “Oh, darling, that bonnet is unlike anything I’ve seen! It’s just so fabulous!” She said, beaming with a smile.

“Th-Thank you.” Loretta answered, smiling sheepishly.

The unicorn glanced at Stella. “And that mane is superb!” She said, still beaming.

“Thank you very much. I work hard every morning to make sure it’s as neat as possible.” Stella answered, also with a sheepish grin on her face.

The mare turned to Vincent. “That mane could use some washing. No real complaints otherwise. But you need some more color, some more life!” She exclaimed, a glinting in her eyes.

“H-how so?” Vincent asked, a nervous look on his face.

“I’d like to put you in a fabulous outfit!” Exclaimed the mare in response, her smile widening.

Jonathan’s ears fell flat. “Vincent’s screwed….” He whispered to himself.

“Wh-what kind of outfit?” Vincent asked again, ears flat.

“I’d love to put you in a dress!” Replied the mare.

Jonathan started laughing hysterically at hearing that. As he laughed, he said “He may be a priest, but even priests don’t wear dresses…!”

“W-what….what…?” Vincent asked, beginning to shake.

Jonathan continued laughing.

Outside, a certain rainbow-maned pegasus heard everything and was currently eating a bag of popcorn by the handfuls, looking forward through a window to see a stallion in a dress of all things. A wedding dress, to be much more accurate. She couldn’t pass up this fine display of embarrassing a stallion, oh no. It was simply too enjoyable for her.

Fluttershy was wondering what Rainbow was doing and trotted towards her. “Um, Rainbow, what are you doing?” She asked, unaware of the grand show the rainbow-maned mare was eagerly watching. She looked in the window and saw a stallion in a wedding dress. “O-o-oh My,” was all she said and she promptly fainted.

Twilight saw that Fluttershy fainted. She trotted out of the bakery and to the pegasi. “Rainbow, why did Fluttershy faint?!” She demanded.

“Because a stallion was put in a bridal gown!” Rainbow replied, bursting out into insane laughter.

“Y-You’re not serious, are you Rainbow?” Twilight asked, her jaw dropping. “Look in the window for yourself Twilight,” retorted Rainbow as she burst out into another laughing fit.

Twilight did as instructed and gaped. “Oh no…” She murmured.