Dragon Tales

Spike was in the library's basement, having just emerged from another enchanted superhero comic. In his hand was a glowing orange ring, stolen from the book's world. He opened a wooden box on the floor, revealing six more pieces of jewelry: green, yellow, blue, indigo, violet, and red. Ever since he found out from Pinkie that things could be brought over here, he had been collecting them from Radiance and the other members of the Prism Corps in case of emergency. It had taken months, nearly killed him more times than he'd like to think about, and cost him several month's allowance, but it was worth it.

"Okay, now for the easy part," he said, sitting down and rubbing his chin. "Who gets what? I'm sure Rarity would like to have the violet bracelet of love again, but maybe she'd be a better match for the indigo earring of compassion; I mean, I think generosity and compassion are connected, at least a little bit.

"Applejack would definitely get the green necklace of willpower. She's the most stubborn pony I know, and... well, she seems fearless, at least. Not to mention how level-headed she is. And she looks good in green, so that's a bonus."

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the front door. He hurried upstairs to see Diamond Tiara pacing the lobby, looking for something with an impatient scowl on her face. When she saw him, her scowl deepened and she marched over to him.

"There you are!" she barked, glaring at him. "It took you way too long to show up! This is no way to run a business!"

Spike crossed his arms and sighed, his patience already wearing thin. "Welcome to the Golden Oaks Library. How can I help you?" he all but growled.

"That's better," she said, taking a seat at the coffee table. "My Daddy's out of town on business today, and said I was old enough to look after myself."

Spike nodded, just barely paying attention. "Okay...?"

"Of course, I told him I could handle it so he wouldn't worry. After all, why would he? I'm the heiress to Rich Industries, after all!"

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. "Mmm-hmm..." He didn't bother to listen to the rest of her story. Unlike, say, the crusaders, he had no real reason to dislike her, aside from her attitude. To be honest, she just bored him to tears. After years of living in Canterlot, ponies like her were all but invisible to him. So he didn't bother trying to keep his eyes open, and he quickly fell asleep.

"Hey!" She slammed her hooves on the table, and he yelped and fell to the floor. "Listen to me when I'm talking to you! Did you hear anything I just said!?"

He stood up and dusted himself off, then looked at the clock to avoid the furious gaze of the filly in front of him. It was half past noon. "Uh... something about lunch, right?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Lucky guess. Anyway, I want you to make me lunch today!"

"Huh!? Why me?"

She smirked. "I heard that you cook Princess Twilight's meals. Is that true?"

Was she still stuck on that? "Yeah, why?"

"Well, if you can make a meal fit for a princess, you just might be able to make something for me." The scowl returned. "Now get to it!"

She glared at him, and he stared back. They were like that for a moment, until both their stomachs growled. Diamond blushed, and Spike walked into the kitchen, snickering under his breath.

Putting on his apron, he called out, "So why come here, anyway? Why not go to Silver Spoon's house or something?"

"And let her dad tell mine that I couldn't handle it? As if!"

"Yeah, Celestia forbid your dad finds out about you going to a friends house for lunch. Why not go somewhere that nopony would think to look, like the library in the center of town? The same one that most ponies would turn to when they needed to put a search party together? It's a foolproof plan! Genius!" He laughed again and grabbed some vegetables and a knife. Nachos were always a good meal, and they tasted better with company, no matter who they were. With that in mind, he took out the cutting board and began chopping, filling the library with rhythmic tapping.

Again, Diamond slammed the table. "You think I'll just sit here and let you make fun of me!? Two can play at that game, you overgrown lizard!"

He stopped cutting and put his hands to his face in mock horror. "Oh, no! My cover's blown! Now everyone will know that I am, indeed, a dragon!" He started cutting again. "I would say to try harder, but do you really want to insult the guy who's making your food?"

She scoffed and crossed her legs. "And what if I do? I'm your guest, so you have to put up with me."

"Hmm... That's true. It's also true that I know where the rat poison is, and that I'm holding a large knife. In other words, your life is in my claws. So I'm sure you won't mind if I ask you to keep quiet so I can concentrate." He juggled the knife for a bit before putting it away. "Deal?"

She growled, but didn't speak until the nachos were finished. Only when he had set the large bowls of chips and salsa on the table did she open her mouth. "I remember these. Twilight asked you to make some for us during Twilight Time."

It was his turn to scowl. "Yeah, and you guys never ate them. That was a mountain of chips I had to throw away!"

"Oh, quit whining." She dipped a chip in the salsa and popped it into her mouth. She chewed slowly, then began to sweat. Her face turned red, and she started panting. Tears came to her eyes, and she jumped up from the table. Whimpering, she ran towards the kitchen.

Spike, having eaten several chips by now, simply stared in bemusement. There's no way the salsa was that hot; everyone else who tried it said it was delicious, even Applejack. And this was the salsa recipe he reserved for guests; it didn't hold a candle to the one he kept for himself, which was infamous for eating through the floor. And yet...

"What did you do to that salsa?" Diamond came back, the edges of her mouth wet with water. She flinched away from him, eyes wide. "You didn't really poison me, did you!?"

He shook his head. "No way! Nothing weird or dangerous, I promise. There were just some bell peppers and spices. "

She stuck out her tongue. "Ugh! I hate peppers!" She cleared her throat and assumed a more regal posture. "Make me something sweet instead."

He waited for a moment, hoping she would add a "please" or something. "Something sweet...?"

"Like a pie!" she announced. "I haven't had a good pie in, like, forever! Make me one!"

He was about to object, but an idea came to mind. With a smug grin, he walked into the kitchen. "Sure thing. One key lime pie, coming up!" He went through the pantry, cabinets, and fridge. He smile fell as he realized that there were no pie ingredients anywhere. Shrugging, he grabbed a small vial off the counter and returned to the lobby to deliver the news.

"What do you mean there are no ingredients?" She groaned and covered her face. "You're useless! What am I supposed to eat now?"

"Well, why don't we go to your house? I mean, I'm not really busy, and this way, your dad might think you really can handle yourself. Deal?"

"And that vial? What's in there?"

He hid it behind his back and wrapped his tail around it. "It's the secret ingredient. The last bit of it." He offered what he hoped was a sincere looking smile.

She put a hoof to her chin and closed her eyes, humming in thought. Finally she nodded and said, "Deal. But before we go, I have some rules."

Spike tilted his head. "Like what?"

"First off, I'm leading; second, don't follow too closely behind me, or ponies might get the idea that we're friends; third, I know I'm gorgeous, but try not to do that thing you do when you're following Rarity."

He blushed and looked around nervously. "W-what thing? I don't act any different around Rarity!"

She snorted. "So you hover behind everypony, drooling like a dog? With little hearts in your eyes?"

"Uh... well..." He got up from the table and started pushing her to the door. "Let's hurry and get to your place, yeah? The sooner we get there, the sooner you can eat!"

The walk to her mansion wasn't too bad. Sure, it took over an hour because she lived way on the outskirts of town, and the building itself stood on top of a large mountain, and Diamond insisted that he carry her up the hundreds of stairs leading to it, but besides all that, it was okay.

Spike put her down in front of the enormous, gilded doors of the Rich estate. With a single push, the doors opened with a long, loud groan. She glanced back at him, then turned and walked inside.

The inside was just as extravagant as he imagined, with sparkling tile floors and an ornate marble fountain in the center of the foyer. Along the walls were portraits of the previous heads of the Rich family, from Filthy Rich to his great grandfather, Insultingly Rich. Just under the paintings were busts of important-looking mares, presumably their wives.

"Hey!" Diamond's shout snapped him out of his thoughts. She pushed him into the kitchen, ignoring his protests. "Stop gawking and get cooking! It's getting late, my Daddy will be home soon, and I'm starving!" Another shove sent him stumbling into the kitchen, which seemed big enough to hold the one in the library and still have room to spare. And yet, something felt wrong.

Under Diamond's harsh gaze, he went to work, which currently meant opening and closing all the drawers and cabinets to figure out where everything was. As he did this, he asked, "So why's it so empty in here, anyway? Don't you have a butler or maid or something?"

She rolled her eyes and huffed. "Daddy gave them all the day off. I guess he wanted to make sure I didn't cheat or something."

"Clever." Once he had everything he needed, he got to work, settling for a small, personal-size key lime pie, like the ones they served in restaurants. The process was always quick and easy, and in no time, the pie sat in front of Diamond on the dining room table. Before she could start eating, however, he drizzled the vial's caramel-colored contents over the pie, doing his best to imitate the same flourish of those fancy chefs he'd seen at the castle. With a deep, exaggerated bow, he backed into the foyer and slipped behind the corner with a grin.

With each bite she took, his smile grew. Sure, the liquid tasted good, but it was actually a gift from Zecora known as the Solution of Servitude. It did exactly what you'd think: it forced whoever drank it to become completely submissive, with the potion's severity and duration depending on the amount taken. For the time being, she'd be a kind, obedient little filly, like a young heiress should be. He chuckled evilly at his plan.

"Um, Spike?" Diamond poked him in the side. He jumped and looked at her with wide eyes. "Sorry. I just wanted to say thanks for the pie. It was delicious!"

He blinked. "Uh... You're welcome."

She smiled gratefully, then went to wash her plate. Spike ran after her to watch, his smile returning twice as big. Things were coming along nicely, and she might not remember any of this after the potion wore off. It was perfect!

The door opened, and three sets of hooves strode in.

"Diamond? I'm home, and I brought company!"

Okay, less than perfect. Spike poked his head around the doorway to see Filthy Rich entering the foyer, followed by Fancypants and Prince Blueblood. His jaw dropped. Just what kind of business trip was he on?

"Coming, Daddy!" Diamond ran out to greet them, and Spike followed, bowing alongside her curtsy. "Welcome to our home, sirs. It's a pleasure to have you."

Mr. Rich's eyes raised a brow at Spike, but moved on seamlessly. He gestured to the stallions behind him. "This is my darling daughter, Diamond Tiara, and her young friend. You know of Prince Blueblood and Fancypants, my colleagues?"

Blueblood simply sniffed at them, while Fancypants offered a kind smirk.

"A pleasure," he said. Turning to Spike, he added, "And a pleasure to see you again, young Spike."

"Likewise, sir," Spike said.

"Enough of this idle prattle!" Blueblood said. "Mr. Rich, I thought we came here to negotiate, not babysit!"

Mr. Rich cleared his throat. "O-of course, your majesty. If you would follow me to my study..."

"Ah, but first," Blueblood said, looking down at Spike, "I'm feeling rather parched from the carriage ride. I simply cannot do without a drink."

Spike was about to resign himself to the task, but Diamond beat him to it.

"I'll get it!" she said, running out of the room. Blueblood glared, and Spike walked after her, muttering something about snacks. As Diamond gathered cups, he found a tray, as well as some crackers and cheese, stacked them, and speared them on a toothpick.

He nodded. "Alright. Classic appetizers. How are the drinks coming?"

She saluted and started placing them on the tray. Spike took it and and they went upstairs into the study. Mr. Rich's study was surprisingly modest, containing no furniture except a fireplace and three sofa chairs in front of a round coffee table. The stallions each sat in one, faces covered by newspapers. They were completely silent, though one would clear his throat every few seconds. The children stared at them, more than a little unnerved by their strange behavior.

Spike gulped, then carefully set a drink next to each stallion, then set the tray next to Filthy Rich. They merely shuffled their papers. He turned for the door, only for Blueblood to stop him.

"Spike, we cannot possibly be satisfied with simply water," he said. "Do you take me for a common workhorse? Take it away at once."

"Yes, sir," he said, taking the glasses. "Did you want to request a certain drink?"

"Yes, actually," Mr. Rich said. "Diamond, dear, take him to the cellar. You know what I like."

She nodded and walked Spike out, leading him to the wine cellar, where barrels upon barrels full of various wines lined the walls. Already overwhelmed, Spike was awed at the way she walked over to one of them, placing a hoof on the tap. He refilled the glasses and hurried back upstairs. The "conversation" had continued while they were gone, and had escalated to the point where all three of them were essentially taking turns screaming with their mouths closed.

Dumbfounded and curious, Spike placed the drinks on the table before rushing out to ask, "What in Equestria are they doing? Is it a breathing exercise or something?"

She smiled at him sadly, like he was a naive child. "They're performing business negotiations, of course. I can translate, if you want." He nodded. "Well, Mr. Fancypants is asking for a donation to build a trauma center in Fillydelphia, while Prince Blueblood wants the money for a new wing for his palace."

"Tough choice."

"Right?" she giggled. "The prince is stubborn, though, and if he can win my dad over, Fancypants will need a new donor."

"Is it really a choice, though? I mean, Blueblood can live without an extra wing, can't he?"

Before she could respond, Blueblood called Spike in again, this time for more food. Again, Diamond offered her assistance, and together they went about their chore. The second they returned, however, they were sent to opposite ends of the mansion on more trivial tasks. Again and again, they were sent scurrying about the house like common servants, nonstop, for hours. Much, much later, when they met back at the door, panting and soaked in sweat, Diamond had regained her trademark scowl.

She grabbed him and dragged him partway down the hall. "I can't believe this," she hissed, glancing at the door. "Why in Equestria would a grown stallion need to have his horn filed for him?"

"I guess it's just what he's used to," Spike said, twirling the file in his claws. "That's pretty much the only reason I haven't said anything."

She knocked it out of his hands. "Why are you even putting up with him?"

"What choice do I have? He's a prince, after all."

"So what?" she said. "You live with a princess, and you mouth off to her whenever you get the chance! Why should Prince Blueblood get any special treatment? Heck, I just asked for some lunch and you tried to kill me!"

"Well," he began, scratching his head, "long story short, he's bad with criticism. He doesn't get much of it, so he never learns. Whenever anypony tries, he throws a 'royal tantrum'. That is, he goes around using his title to ruin ponies' lives. Even your family can't afford that."

"Spare me!" She marched towards the door, stopping just in front of it. "If I have to get knocked down a peg every so often, so does he!" She opened the door and strode in. Not wanting to stick around for the verbal war that was sure to take place, he hurried to the kitchen for a much-needed glass of water.

After his drink, Spike sighed and stretched. It wasn't that he couldn't call Blueblood out on his spoiled behavior, but he truly didn't mind. He had high standards, sure, and hardly ever did anything on his own, but he was family. Being family, and thus a member of the Royal Family of Equestria, Spike could easily have him reported to either of the princesses, and Blueblood knew that. So what was he thinking, running two children ragged?

"--never been more insulted in my entire life!" Blueblood shouted, walking into the kitchen with an exaggerated frown. He reeked of white wine, which now stained his coat. Seeing Spike, he said, "Water." After his drink, he rubbed his throat. "That girl has a set of lungs and fierce stubborn streak. I think she'll do just fine."

"So you won't shatter her family's reputation, then?" Spike asked carefully. "They'll be okay?"

He flared his nostrils, the closest he would allow himself to snorting. "Why on Earth would I do that? Filthy told you about the plan, didn't he?"

"Was there some secret plot between you three?"

At this, Blueblood's eyes widened slightly, and a hoof flew to his mouth. "You... you weren't in on it? I thought for sure that you were. After all, what else would you be doing here?" He laughed a quick, haughty laugh. "After all, it's not like you have a taste for the finer things, right?"

Unfazed, Spike replied, "True. I prefer the finer foods, myself. Real foods, not the appetizers you rich types like to pretend to enjoy."

He scoffed. "As if you could possibly understand the subtle nuances and flavors within said hors d'oeuvres, as shown by your pathetic display this evening."

"Funny you should say that, because that 'display' happens to be Luna's favorite recipe. Now, if you want me to tell her just what you think of it, then..."

Blueblood didn't flinch, a pleasant smile appearing on his face. "Oh, we've talked about it." Still smiling, he shuddered, and tears came to his eyes. His eyes idly wandered around the room, falling on a copy of Starry Night. "We sure did talk... For so long..." He trailed off, and the tears streamed down his cheeks. Despite this, the smile remained.

"Blueblood? You alright?" Spike snapped his fingers in his face. He didn't respond. The stallion was in his own little, apparently nightmarish world, lost to the residents of the real world. Spike was tempted to leave him there, or perhaps dress him up and hide him somewhere in the mansion. What to do, what to do...

Luckily for Blueblood, he never got to choose, as Fancypants turned the corner. Seeing the two, he hurried over to Blueblood, took hold of his legs with his magic, and "walked" him to the front door. Looking over his shoulder with an apologetic smile, he called out, "Sorry to cut our visit short, Spike. Will I be seeing you at the princess' birthday celebration?"

Spike waved back, smiling. "Sure! But, uh, which one?"

"Princess Luna's, of course. I'm expecting an invitation." Fancypants chuckled before heading outside. Moments after they left, their carriage was heard pulling away into the night. Spike stood there for a second before heading back upstairs to check on Diamond and her father.

He saw Mr. Rich hugging her tightly, showering her with compliments. "You did wonderfully! Just as I knew you would, dear!" he said, nuzzling the top of her head. She beamed at the praise, a truly happy smile on her face.

Spike found himself blushing, and for the first time, he saw her as a pretty young girl. The thought made him uncomfortable, and he tapped his foot against the ground to distract himself.

Filthy Rich looked up at the noise and waved Spike in. "Spike, I have to thank you for your help. I had no idea you were in on it, but I'm glad you were." He reached under his collar and retrieved a large gemstone. "I assume this will suffice as compensation?"

Spike eagerly took the gem, clutching it tightly in his claws. "Thanks, but... what was I in on again?"

Filthy blinked. "Really? Hm. Well, the plan was for Blueblood to work Diamond to the bone on menial tasks until she snapped. The idea was to see if she had the ability to stand up to her superiors when faced with unacceptable conduct, an invaluable skill for any businessmare. Having you here also let her show off her dedication to her friends." He looked at Diamond. "So what were you doing here, if you had nothing to do with the plan?"

Spike looked nervously between the curious gaze of Filthy Rich and Diamond's threatening glare. What was worse, to lie to a pony who trusts you, or to stain the reputation of a filly who had years to get over it? Easy choice. "She came to the library to ask me to make her lunch. Then she asked me to come here to make a pie."

"I see... Well, that's one test failed. I guess we'll have to try again later." He sighed and walked to the door. "Diamond, see him out. I'm going to bed."

"Yes, Daddy," she said, whimpering a bit before heading downstairs, head bowed in shame.

Spike followed her, staring at the floor the entire way. Had he just ruined her chances of making her father proud? Sure, she had plenty of time to make up for it, but would he ever forget it? He shook his head. He was over-thinking things. Filthy Rich was a reasonable stallion; he wouldn't hold this small incident over her head forever, right?

"Hey."

And even if he did, surely there'd be something else she'd be known for?

"HEY!"

Spike flinched and blinked, finding his face mere inches from Diamond's. He stumbled back and said, "What?" To his surprise, she wrapped leg around his shoulders and pulled him close. He froze and stammered, not knowing how to react.

"Thanks for today," she said. She pulled away, smiling. That smile remained as she ground her hoof into his foot. "And if you ever mess with my food again, I'll have you locked up for the rest of my life. Got it?"

"That's a weird way to put it," he said. She pushed a bit harder. "Ow! Fine! Fine! Sorry!" Clutching his aching foot, he hopped out the door.