Cream Pie

Chapter 1 Getting the Ingredients

It was a bright and sunny afternoon in Ponyville. Everyone from Sweet Apple Acres to the library had smile on their faces as if it was the best day ever. Everyone that is, except for a certain cyan, multicolor-maned, pegasus stallion by the name of Rainbow Blitz.

Blitz was a well-built stallion. He had to be if want to be a member of the Wonderbolts, as anything less would ruin his chances in ever joining. He currently wore a dark-blue jacket with a plain white tee under it, and black jeans embroidered with lighting strikes on each side of the leg.

Right now, Blitz was on his way to Sugar Cube Corner to help Pinkie Pie make some pies. "Why did I promise Pinkie I would make pies with her today," the depressed stallion asked himself.

"I know I promised her that I would help her, since the Cakes are out of town for a baking contest in Canterlot this weekend," said Blitz seeing Sugar Cube Corner not too far away. "And seeing that I had nothing else to do today after so awesomely finishing weather duty early, I might as well since Pinkie seemed to really need some help. I really wanted to go nap the day on that cloud I saw earlier, or maybe try to practice some sick flying stunts, but a promise is a promise."

As soon as he entered inside the bakery, he was greeted by his hyperactive, pink friend. The mare in question was bouncing as she approached him,her cotton-candy like mane bouncing with her. When Blitz first met her, he thought she was a living ball of cotton candy, and her pink fur and mane didn't help that. Thinking a moment, he began to wonder if she was so hopped up on sugar she used her baggy shorts and large, pink shirt with blue vertical stripes were meant to hide a pudgy figure.

"Hey Pinkie, I'm here," said Blitz said with a forced smile.

"Hey Blitizy! I’m so super-duper glad you could make it! We're going to make the best pies ever," said Pinkie, as happy as always.

"Fine, let's just get this over with. Kinda wanted to practice some stunts I was working on earlier," said Blitz, a bit annoyed by the pink pony's happiness.

"Okie Dokie Lokie! First, you we’ll need some ingredients from storage room, while I go get the mixing utensils. I already have most of the ingredients out, I just need some flour, don’t forget the flour okay?" Blitz nodded in agreement as Pinkie began her search in the kitchen, while Blitz went to the storage room. After awhile, Blitz finally found what he was looking for in the very back of the room.

"Finally, I found the fucking flour," said Blitz a little upset since it took so long. "I mean, seriously, who puts flour of all things in the very back of the storage room?" As soon as Blitz picks up the flour, he was suddenly knocked out by something hard in the back of his head.

"No one silly. I just needed you to be in the back of the storage room so no one can see me beam you over the head with this here rolling pin I have," Pinkie said to herself, already knowing Blitz wouldn’t respond."Oh yeah, you're knocked out. All well, better get you ready so we can start making some great pies."

-A few hours later-

"Oh man,” Blitz said, slowing regaining consciousness. “It feels like I just had a fistfight with a drunken Berry Punch and lost. Feels just as bad as when I got my ass kicked for telling AJ that her butt was too big to do farm work," said Blitz, still feeling a bit groggy. After taking the pain subsided and he regained his sense he said to himself, "Where under Celestia's sun am I? Why can't I move? And ... Where the fuck are my clothes!?"

Blitz woke up to find himself bound to a wooden table of some sort in what seemed to be a basement. It was dimly lit to the point where all that could be seen were silhouettes.He didn't have any article of clothing on his body except for his underwear. He found that both his arms and legs were tied up to each end of the table, preventing any chance of escaping or even resisting his apparent kidnapper. He was able to move his wings, but it did little good without the ability to use his limbs as well. While he was trying to find some loose restraint to escape, Blitz suddenly drew his eyes toward the sound of a door opening.

"Oh Blitzy, you’re finally up? That’s good. I thought I may have hit you a little too hard and you’d never wake up. Then again, you have hit your head on rocks and trees before, so a rolling pin probably wouldn't be that bad," Pinkie said, now turning on the lights to the room.

Blitz stared at her with his eyes widened and his mouth hanging open. It was like Spitfire told him the Wonderbolts had disbanded, he was speechless.. The fact that one of his best friend knocked him out and tied him up in his underwear was a complete shock to him. It didn’t make things better with him being in a dark room to do Celestia knows what, and that Pinkie looked to have on nothing save a red-stained apron that oddly really complimented her body.

He took a good look at Pinkie Pie, and noticed a few things about her. From all the sweets she ate over the years, one would think that all that all of those carbs and fat would would go to her belly. Instead, most of it seemed to have gone to all the right places. Her breasts were huge, probably as big as watermelons, yet surprisingly enough to be barely contained in the apron. As for Pinkie’s hips and thighs, they would have put most mares to shame.

After taking a good look of Pinkie, Blitz finally noticed the ‘decorations’ that filled the rest of the room. Within the room, skeletons were scattered about. Pony skeletons.He looked up to see a banner that said "LIFE IS A PARTY" in what he assumed to be blood. What caught his eye the most, was a dress that consisted of patches of ponies cutie marks, pegasus wings on the back, and lastly a necklace made with unicorn horns. Blitz look back at Pinkie in horror, who was smiling at him the whole time, waiting for him to say something.

"Pinkie," Blitz said, finally breaking the silence between them. “If… if this is a prank for not taking today seriously, then you got me good,” Rainbow laughed nervously, forcing a smile.

“Actually Blitzy, this is no prank,” she replied, still with that terrifying smile.

Remembering a ghost story that vaguely related to this situation, he feared for the worst. "Pinkie, if you're going to kill me, ponies will wonder where I'm at," Blitz pleaded to Pinkie, thinking that was his only option..

"Pfft, well of course everypony would get curious if Equestria's fastest flyer and awesomeness pony suddenly went missing."

"Wait. If you're not going to kill me then wh-" he paused, as he started to putting two and two together. "Pinkie are... are you going to rape me?" He stuttered.

"Oh silly Blitzy. If I wanted to do that, I could have done that hours ago while you were knocked out."

Blitz was now confused. He stared at the smiling barely clothed pink pony, wondering why he was even here at all. "Ok then Pinkie,” he said. “if you're not going to kill me or even rape me, mind if I ask you some questions?"

"Shoot," replies Pinkie.

"Where are we exactly? And what’s with the getup? What with the skeletons, blood banner, and dress of dead pony flesh? Why am I in my underwear and chained up in some dark room? Finally, Why are you wearing nothing but a red-stained apron?"

"Oh, well to answer your first question, we’re in the Cakes' basement. They hardly use it so they let me use it for when I plan my parties. As for the skeletons and banner, they’re decorations for the Nightmare Night party."

"Uh Pinkie, you do know that Nightmare Night isn't for another three months," Blitz said while raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I know! But a party pony always plans ahead to make parties their best. And it’s best to be ready early than to be ready late! Anyhow, where was I before I was interrupted? Oh yeah, the dress. Rarity helped me make it. She was a bit reluctant since it was an odd request, but she really did a good job with it, especially with the red paint. Really looks like blood. I got the whole idea from one of Twilight's books about a psycho killer making clothes out of ponies."

"You know, I don't know which is worse; the fact that Twilight has a book about psychopaths open to the public, or her letting you check out the said book about psychopaths," Blitz said with a deadpan stare at Pinkie, in return, who just grinned at him.

"Anyways, about you being chained up. Well, I really didn't feel like chasing you all across Ponyville like the last time I tried hanging out with you. And if I tried to help you resolve your relationship problems you'd get ma-"

"I do not have any relationship problems!" Blitz shouted back in anger.

"Sure you do. I mean, you've been sad and depressed for at least five days now. I even noticed you trying to hide it from everyone else. I always know when my friends are down and blue, even if you don't show it," said Pinkie Pie calmly.

He sighed,"Alright, I get it. But just because I'm sad for a like week or so, doesn’t mean that it has something to do with my love-"

Pinkie interrupted him by saying,"Fluttershy and Big Mac are going out with each other."

Blitz looked away, his eyes tearing up and his face turning red in anger.

"So, you don’t have any problems with your love life now do you," Pinkie asked, snickering.

After calming down, he replies, "Ok. I might be a little upset and sad that my childhood crush is dating my best friend."

Pinkie smiles and said "See, talking about it always makes everything better."