Two years. It's really been two years since I left all groups that had anything to do with her. The resulting isolation almost killed me, but it seems as if nothing can kill me.
I've made new friends. Made a game of lying to them about things I could be ashamed of. I'll tell them later when it seems distant, and they won't be able to react in a way that would harm me, then them.
I sit down on a train...
Across the isle, there's a cute girl. I feel my heart start up again.
I feel myself smile involuntarily, for the first time in a while. I kill the smile, I should try to act.
After a moment of thinking, I shift around a bit, uncomfortably. I stand up and look back down at the seat, annoyed.
I walk over to her.
"I'm sorry, do you mind if I sit here? That seat's a bit uncomfortable..."
"Sure!" She looks up and smiles at me.
"Thanks," I smile back, and sit down.
A pause of awkwardness. I try to browse my phone for ideas, and to look like I have something to do. Also, she's already browsing her phone.
Oh yeah, news.
I look over to her, "Did you hear the news that Justin Beiber ran over some people in a car?"
"What?" She looks at me, shocked and amused.
"I mean," I rub the back of my neck, "Well, he didn't exactly just steal a car and run over people in it or something, that would be ridiculous."
"Wait, but..." She looks at me, speechless, "Isn't that what you just said!?"
"Kind of," I smile, "I may have been exaggerating..."
"...Well, now I have to know," she puts down her phone and looks at me. "That's just too ridiculous."
"Well," I shrug, "all I remember from the news is that he was arrested for a DUI, and some people were complaining that he could have killed somebody."
"...Oh," She looks disappointed.
"Are you disappointed!?" I ask, almost laughing.
"Well, I-- No!" She stumbles, "You just made it sound so... spectacular," She makes a 'the fish was this big' gesture, "and now it just sounds like regular news!"
"Sorry?" I smile back awkwardly.
...another awkward silence...
"Don't be" She speaks up.
"Huh?" I turn back.
"Don't be sorry."
We look at each other.
"I thought it was kind of funny," She smiles, "maaybe a little dark though."
"Well, I try." I smile back.
...looking at each other...
"I'm Steven." I extend my hand.
"Jessica." She extends hers, and we shake.
I got off the train. Unfortunately, she didn't give me any way to contact her, and I didn't give her any way to contact me.
I write down the time of day, and day of the week, then walk home.
I spent the next few weeks passively calculating when I stepped on the train, and trying to match that time.
Three weeks later, I see her again.
"Hello!" I greet, perhaps too nicely.
"Hu--" She looks up, "Hi!" she greets back just as nicely...
We hung out a lot more, and things were going nicely. I never felt so happy before. All my "destory society and then kill who you please" plans started seeming increasingly stupid and revolting.
I get a text.
"Help!"
I call the police.
They found the owner of the phone. She was dead.
I had risen so high out of the well of isolation I was in when I found her, that when I fell back down I made a crater. That crater broke ground and opened up new caverns of emotion for access. I didn't find sadness, as one would expect, but contempt. Endless, undying contempt, for the world.
But there was one thing that left hope for me, and it was her.
I talk with her family about the funeral, and about cryogenics. It's to convince them when my argument is that she should have a chance to experience a real life, even if it has a bump in the middle.
I take away their decision in their daughter's burial type while feeling nothing, but showing my perfectly faked smiles and grievings all the while. Her older sister doubts me, but she doubts her own doubts.
Her body was frozen within hours of retrieval. It only took a few phone calls.
I withdraw from society. Quit school, and get a job in construction. I'm able to work with my hands, and that helps me calm down.
I move away from my family, but continue my studies, applying my applied mathematics major to crowd psychology.
I remember a few ted talks. One about viruses. There should be a website for testing and learning about viruses. I install Tor, then I frequent the site.
I create another testbed, downloading all the operating systems I can torrent. I reverse engineer the code. But analyzing takes too long, so I make something to visualize all the access paths between where my virus starts and where I want it to end.
After weeks of analysis, I have around ten zero-day viruses in 20 different operating systems.
I add in a 200 character access password to my virus, allowing me to modify it later, then send it out to gather scientific data and code, and duplicate it on tor.
I now have access to more scientific papers and programs than most scientists and engineers.
I test modifications to the virus at home, and then go to a coffee shop after changing my mac-address to apply them.
First, I set the virus to study communication and relations between people, gathering data on what causes break-ups. I already know it's contempt, but how do I make it believable?
...
After months of research, and some close calls with my virus, I send out the next program.
...
News on my virus is forgotten when politicians start talking to each other with ridiculous amounts of hate. No bills are passed in democracies. Monopolies attack their people and other governments.
After a few years of growing hatred and contempt, a global war begins.
I have access to all the data I need, and I've hacked into the factories as well, creating "failures", that would be shipped to the "trash". They would actually be redirected to a public location where people could pick up strange items.
My house is filled with chemicals. I'm continuing the latest experiments in nanotechnology.
The experiments succeed.
Months later, I improve my nanotechnology, while keeping track of Jessica to make sure her body isn't abandoned because of the war.
I create small organisms, then bug-like creatures with the nanites. (All incapable of evolution.)
After years of testing and stealing data, I'm able to create organs. I'm able to make brains.
My work explodes into true bug-like creatures, then more complex creatures.
I quickly modify my body once the nanites are better than me, specializing every piece of me.
I'm no longer human.
I don't care about humans...
The great war would have been stopped a thousand times, if not for me blocking any kind messages. When they revert to mail, I can't stop them. But by then, I can attack directly.
I take some of Jessica's DNA and have the virus analyze it.
I create a virus to kill everyone and everything. Painlessly. Instantly.
But it heals Jessica and her sister. They would be immortal. They could become anything they wanted in my new world.
I create a few more nanite creatures.
Longing for flora and fauna again, I create them as well, and add some things from mythology... Because why not?
I fall asleep.
I wake up, some ponies are poking me with a stick. I shift a bit.
"It's waking up!" I hear a child's voice.
I look around. The ponies have built a society! How cute!
"Hello!" I grin back at the foals.
"H- Hi mister!" A brave foal greets back."What's you're name?"
I think for a bit, almost answering with my human name.
But humans are dead.
Then I had an idea..
"Discord." I rise my head and grin back at the foals, then snap my fingers to make some playmates for them.This place could use a few improvements...