Derpy Days

by Bronygirl6729

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2181

Enjoy Derpy's day-in-the-life antics in one short story.

A cute little Derpy oneshot, because why not? Enjoy a short story about a day-in-the-life of everyone's favorite mailmare.

Published 2014-02-02 00:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-02 00:00:04 UTC

Derpy Days

I know, I know, I haven't been writing anything lately. Excuse me for getting caught up in season four. But you know what? I'm going to change things up a bit. I'm tired from finishing Crossing Worlds, so what better way to unwind than to write a cutie little story about Derpy Hooves? So sit back, relax, and enjoy the cuteness.

The gray pegasus tilted her head. "So, this package is for Vinyl Scratch?"

Her boss looked at her with frustrated eyes. "No, Derpy, you need to deliver this to Lyra Heartstrings. You copy? You're a mailmare, start acting like one."

Derpy smiled enthusiastically. "Yes, Mr. Boss Stallion!"

"Don't call me that," he growled, but as the stallion turned around, he saw the pegasus already flying off into the distance with Lyra's package in her mouth. He shook his head bitterly and muttered to himself about the lack of responsible pegasi.

"Ok, let's see..." Derpy Hooves looked around the clouds with her crossed yellow eyes. "Um...where does Lyra live?" Her blond mane fell down into her vision and she quickly flipped it up with a toss of her head. Suddenly, something on the ground caught her eye. The mare looked straight down to see a muffin salesman in the town market below her. A silver glaze ran over Derpy's eyes as she continued to stare down at the baked treats. "Mm...muffins...I bet that there's blueberry and chocolate chip and...and...I need it!" She quickly snapped her wings shut and began plummeting towards the ground.

The muffin seller stood straight below the airborne pegasus, unaware of her presence. "Muffins! Muffins! Two for three-what the hay?!" He snapped his head up to see the gray mare is casually falling towards him at an unnerving speed. "Stop! Stop!" He jumped out in front of his muffin cart. She continued falling as if he had said nothing. The salesman put his hooves over his head, bracing for her to impact the ground. Instead, at the last second, the mare extended her wings and her body flipped over so that she began flying upside down.

"Hi, Muffin Munch!" she called out happily, ignoring the stares of the other shoppers as they continued about their business.

Muffin Munch breathed in a sigh of relief. "Oh, it's you, Derpy. I couldn't tell who you were. Now, let me guess...you want to buy some muffins?"

"How did you know?" Derpy gave him a lopsided grin and flipped over to stand on the ground, setting the package for Lyra down beside her.

He chuckled. "Call it a hunch. Now, what kind of muffin would you like?" He began to rummage through the vast supply of muffins inside of his cart. "We got chocolate, strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, raisin, and limited time ice cream!"

Derpy licked her lips in anticipation. "Oh gosh, I'm not sure that I can decide!"

"That's quite all right, I'm in no-"

"Oh, I'll have blueberry!" Derpy interrupted, pointing to a big blueberry muffin.

"-rush." Muffin Munched sighed and shoved the muffin into a brown paper bag. "That'll be two bits."

"Here you go," Derpy said happily, pretending to lay something down on the table and reaching for her muffin bag.

Muffin Munched pulled the bag back. "Now, wait just a minute. That's not money, Derpy."

Derpy paused and studied the table. "Of course it is. Those are air dollars, equal to exactly one pony bit!" She nodded confidently.

Muffin Munch groaned in exasperation, pushing his black glasses up and rubbing his head. "You know what? Whatever. We're friends, so it's on me. Sales haven't been exactly booming today anyways."

Derpy gave the stallion a large smile and grabbed him in a bubbly hug. "Aw, thanks, pal! But, if it's on the house, could I please have my air bucks back?"

"They're all yours," the dark brown stallion reassured her, and the mare grabbed the invisible money and her muffin with a warm sense of satisfaction.

"Well, thanks again, Muffin Munch! I've gotta go someplace though, so I'll see you later!" She took the blueberry muffin and gulped it down in one bite, then took off into the sky, unaware of the package that she had left leaning on the muffin cart. Once she was happily above the puffy white clouds, the gray pegasus glanced around the azure sky in confusion. "I think I had something to do...what was it? Come on, brain! You know this!" She stared off thoughtfully with a serious face and a tongue hanging out of her mouth. "Um...uh...hmm...oh, I know! I was going to go see Doctor Whooves! I'm so glad that I remembered." Derpy patted her head thankfully. "Brain, you are always there for me when I need you." Derpy zipped back down to the market and landed on her hooves this time, scanning the area playfully for her coltfriend. Suddenly, she spotted him buying celery. The pegasus mare gasped and ran to him excitedly. "Doctor! Doctor Whooves!" Before the stallion could respond, Derpy attacked the brown earth pony in a sweet hug.

He blinked his brown eyes, trying to figure out what attacked him. "What? Oomph!" The Doctor rolled over as the air was squeezed out of him and quickly stood up, dusting off his now dirty coat. "Derpy? Oh, thank Celestia it's only you."

She nodded rapidly. "Hiya Doctor! I was thinking that we could hang out and see a movie maybe. Because, you know, movies are fun! Just like you. Isn't it fun when we get together? I think so." Derpy smiled expectantly.

The Doctor frowned. "Derpy, I'm very sorry, but I'm extremely busy. I was sent a message from the future that I need to buy some asparagus, a carrot, and a few screwdrivers. Why? I don't know, but I've learned not to question these sort of things. I really am sorry, though. Maybe some other time?" Without waiting for a response, Doctor Whooves ran off to the carrot stand, not noticing that he accidentally splashed three fillies when he ran through a mud puddle.

Derpy's ears flattened to her head pitifully. "But...it's Hearts and Hooves Day." Her yellow eyes watering, the mare plopped down in the middle of the market. She hung her head in sadness, wishing inside that the Doctor wasn't always so busy. "Well, he does have an important job. I shouldn't be so selfish. Besides, I have to go visit Vinyl Scratch! I can't remember why, but I've learned not to question my brain." The Doctor forgotten, Derpy stood up and clumsily took off into the sky, wobbling from side to side as if she were about to flip upside down. Her bright eyes continuously scoped the sky and ground in search of Vinyl's house. After a bit of searching (and flying in circles) the roof of her friend's house caught her eye. She again swooped down landing bottom first and began skidding down the road like an airplane coming in for a landing. After a long slide, Derpy jumped up and ran over to the door, knocking loudly. Humming as she waited, the mare's eyes drifted towards a sign on the door that read No wubs, no bass, no service.

"I'm here, I'm here!" Derpy's ears perked up as the familiar DJ opened the door, rubbing her magenta eyes.

"Vinyl!" Derpy grabbed her friend in a tight hug, earned a confused glance from the white mare.

"Oh, hey Derpy. How you doing? I've just been mixing some morning records. It's got twenty percent more bass than my last mix! I've gotta say, I'm proud. This should be a record or something. Anyway, did you need something, Derps?"

"I'm glad you asked. Well, it's quite simple. My brain decided that I should visit you and Octavia. Now here I am. Wanna see a movie or something?" The pegasus' gaze fixated on the unicorn as best as they were able to.

Vinyl Scratch's ears drooped. "Gee, I'd love to, but it's just that Octavia has a concert in Canterlot in only a few days that she really needs to practice for this afternoon. When I heard about her Canterlot gig, I made plans with Lyra and Bon Bon so that Octi could concentrate. Sorry."

Derpy plastered on a fake smile. "Oh, it's fine. I'm sure you'll have a great time with Bon Bon and-" The mare's body suddenly stiffened up as she realized what she had forgotten to do. "Oh no! I just remembered! Lyra had a package that I needed to give her, but I lost it somewhere and forgot! Oh, Mr. Boss Stallion is going to be so upset..."

Vinyl's gaze softened. "Hey, it's ok. It's not too late. Just retrace your steps. Where were you earlier?"

Derpy Hooves looked up thoughtfully. "Well, I bought a muffin in the market earlier." She gasped. "Maybe I forgot it when I paid for the muffin. I'd better run!" Before turning around, the mare tackled Vinyl in an even bigger hug. "Oh thank you, thank you! You're a light saber!"

Vinyl cocked an eyebrow while smiling. "Don't you mean 'life saver?'"

Opening her wings, Derpy began running while managing to shout a response over her shoulder. "No!" Once the white clouds were below her, the grey pegasus closed her eyes to try to remember where exactly the muffin cart was. This thinking was interrupted when Derpy collided with a red building. Opening her eyes, she saw that she had rammed into the schoolhouse. "Who's idea was it to put that there?" Derpy pried herself away from the wall and drifted down to the ground.

"Mama!" Derpy's head swiveled around to see her daughter Dinky Doo standing within the schoolyard fence. The mare flew over to her filly with a renewed smile.

"Hello, muffin." She rubbed Dinky's blonde mane affectionately. "I just thought I'd visit you for a second during m y deliveries. Are you having a good day?"

Dinky nodded rapidly. "I love when you visit, Mama. You always make me feel better."

Her daughter's words made tears prick at her eyes. "And I love visiting you too, muffin. I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok. I love you, Mama."

Derpy kissed her daughter's head. "I love you too." Careful of her surroundings, Derpy opened her wings and took off again, this time staying lower to the ground. As she wobbily glided across the sky, the town slowly began to come into view, along with the market. Derpy nervously scanned the ground for Muffin Muncher and his cart, and her observance was quickly rewarded as she spotted the stallion selling a muffin to Carrot Top. Dipping downward quickly, Derpy landed on her hooves while managing not to fall down. She galloped up to Muffin Muncher quickly, frantically searching for the brown package that she knew would be close.

Muffin Muncher peered down at the mare. "Looking for something? Like this, perhaps?" He pulled out the package and Derpy's crossed eyes widened.

"Oh my muffin, you found it! Oh, thank you so much!" She grabbed the package and clutched it to her chest in ecstasy.

"Heh, no problem, Ms. Hooves. Anything for a friend. Not to mention loyal customer. You'd better get that delivered quick though."

"Good idea! I'll get right to that. Thanks again!"

"Oh, it's here! Thank you so much, Derpy." Lyra's smile spread from ear to ear as she took the box from Derpy and ripped it open.

"All in a day's work, miss," the mare saluted. "But if it's ok to ask, what did you get?"

Lyra peeled the last of the paper back to reveal a pink heart-shaped box. "Special Canterlot chocolates for Bon Bon. I just know how much she loves them."

Derpy's heart sunk. "Oh yeah. Hearts and Hooves Day. I forgot." She sighed sadly, thinking of The Doctor. "Have a muffinful day." She turned around to come snout-to-snout with Doctor Hooves and Dinky Doo's smiling faces. "Wh-what are you guys doing here?"

"It's Hearts and Hooves Day, so we thought that we should spend it together as a family," Dinky announced.

The Doctor stepped forward. "I'm sorry that I was so busy earlier. I'd love it if we could all go out now."

Derpy gave a soft, heartfelt smile and leaned up to give The Doctor a kiss.

"Ew!" Dinky gagged.

"I love you both so much," Derpy grinned. They all closed in for a group hug when a crazed Big Mac and Cherilee ran past them followed closely by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"I wonder what that's all about," Doctor Whooves said as a huge crash cut him off.

Derpy shrugged. "I just don't know what went wrong!"

Hooray for Derpy! In case you didn't notice, this story all takes place within the episode Hearts and Hooves Day. So, yeah. Well, now that I'm all done with that, it's time to get to work on Crossing Worlds. Time to channel my inner inspiration. I guess that means I'll be seeing all of you later! This is Bronygirl6729 telling you to have a muffinful day!