A/N: So, who's ready for a long chapter... cuz that's my excuse for the extremely late update. That, and rewriting the entire chapter after not saving it when it was at about 4000 words, forcing me to try and remember what I wrote.

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By the way, this has literally been sitting here for over a year. It's like some weird ass un-finished time-capsule. Rest-assured, this will most likely never be a finished story. And I am sorry for that. BUT FOR NOW, HERE AN UPDATE!
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?

"Hm... well that's odd... there are new people... oh hey, those guys came back... oh, it's that guy. Well then that's no... wait a minute... OH MY ME!"

BANG!

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Luna

As Luna held her eyes closed, she listened to her captors conversing. She faked unconsciousness so that she could hopefully get some information out of these beings, though the shock of her sudden body transformation did almost turn the act into reality. What was going on? What was she? Why did these beings bring them here?

Luna kept her breathing controlled and kept her ears open to the conversations between the four beasts. Two of them were untying the bodies, while the other two taller ones were in another room. She couldn't get much from the conversation being had from the two that remained though. Through squinted eyes, she could see them dragging away the other six through a door that led to a non-lit room.

"Jesus, these kids are pretty fucked up lookin." the shorter one said, stretching its back after pulling on the one with the green mane. 'Most likely Spike.' Luna observed.

"What do you mean?" the one without eyes questioned, while dragging the one with a purple mane with a strand of pink.

"Well, look how different they are. We got a hickish lookin one, a model lookin one, one of them girls that looks like somethin that'd make it into a Japanese harem show, an some clown hair bitch."

The eyeless one stopped dragging Twilight, gazing over at the short one.

"That's a very... unique observation. I'm surprised you didn't find derogatory terms for the other two."

"I calls em as I sees em. Let's hurry up with this dragging shit, I wanna ask King when we can get rid of these fuckers."

"I wonder how they even got here..."

Luna's brows raised slightly, her mouth lowering a little on her face. 'So, they had nothing to do with how I got here?' Then again, Luna did remember they asked her how she and her supposed group had gotten to where they were. Luna reprimanded herself for not remembering that, though not too much as she still was in an odd situation, giving her a bit of an excuse.

"As long as they get the fuck out soon, I don't care if they're fuckin Martians. Let's drag the old hag to the room and ask King how long til we say bye bye to the bodies."

"Yeah, I guess."

Luna, despite not comprehending most of what the short one said, understood enough to know that it desperately wanted her and her companions gone, despite the fact that they had done nothing to them. Then again, they probably did pose as nothing but a nuisance to these beasts.

'At least, for the most part, they speak the same language as we do,' she thought.

She heard one of the two beasts walk by her head, and also felt her tiara go askew after being stepped on. Though she could not see what happened, judging by the loud thud, the beast must have tripped on it.

"Aw fuck! What the fuck did I step on, a fucking razor! Fucking shit! What the hell! Aw damn, Kevin! Go get me some cloth or shit, I'm gettin blood all over the fucking floor."

'Maybe the language had a bit of a variation...' she observed as they started dragging her into another room. She didn't know whether to feel mirth or pity for the wound of the being, but from the way it constantly spoke, it didn't seem as through it cared for her or her company, so she leaned towards mirth.

She felt her being get dragged across a soft floor to the area which housed her unconscious companions, who still appeared to be in a deep slumber. The door slammed shut, and the shuffle of footsteps became slightly fainter as the two beasts moved to where she assumed the other two were. She cautiously raised her head, only for most of her blue hair to block her vision. She slowly brushed part of it away before stopping to view her new appendage. In place of her hoof was some weird, skin covered claw. It partially reminded her of Discord's or Spike's appendages that could grab things. She moved her fingers in grabbing motions, making fists out of her hands and then moving each finger.

Luna felt the need to observe the rest of her new form, but she overheard a noise from beyond the room. It sounded like a door with bad hinges was being slowly opened and closed. Luna moved closer to the door, finding it very hard to walk on four limbs with these new appendages. She recalled how the beasts, as well as Spike, walked and attempted to do so herself. This new way of walking ended about as one might expect.

Thud!

Luna landed on the floor with only a small thud to be heard, as she had landed on two of her companions.

"My sincerest apologies Rainbow Dash and Apple Jack."

Deciding it was better to stay on all fours for now, she crawled over her acquaintances, making sure no sound emulated from the slightly creaking floorboards. She inched her way towards the door, placing her right ear softly against the cheap wood. She could already hear two of the four familiar voices conversing with one that was foreign to her.

"So, how's the business been boys?" The voice sounded of a older male.

"Not particularly well, man. Just got mugged today by those asses in the alleyways. Small's gang again."

"Man, why do you keep taking those alleyways? You know just about all of em got some sorta thugs just waitin for ya." The slightly annoyed tone in this new voice made Luna suspect that these "muggings" were a common occurrence.

"King doesn't have a choice. Either he goes into the alleyways and risks getting mugged, or he goes the longer ways and possibly gets picked up by a patrolman." The short one's voice stated in a semi-annoyed tone.

"Yeah, cuz King's gonna get caught by the pigs for runnin around with a backpack."

"It's true I have a slimmer chance being pulled over by the police." this "King" spoke in a calm manner. "But if I were to ever get picked up by them, it'd be game over for all of us. I mean, I can take beating like a man, so the gangs aren't anything we can't handle. They stay in their little spots, we're good. But if we were to get picked up by the cops, then we'd get arrested. Most likely we'd be sent to orphanages or juvy."

"Man fuck that shit!" the voice of the brash short one yelled out.

"Hey Kev, you got Murray's money yet?" The King's voice shouted.

The sound of the fourth being nearing the door made Luna crawl back to her comrades. She laid her body down next to Twilight's and stayed perfectly still as the creature turned the knob and entered. It quickly shut the door and started making its way over to a silver case. It opened it and removed some sort of green colored paper. It turned to exit when, in mid stride towards the door, it halted. Due to her position, Luna couldn't see anything from her mostly closed eyes except for its hind hooves, or whatever its appendages were called.

The beast stayed in that spot for what felt like an hour before continuing its path to the other room, where its partners waited. As soon as the door closed, she was back up on all fours and crawling towards it. Before she even got into her eavesdropping position, she could hear the new voice scream something she didn't understand.

"AW CRAP!"

After that, the vibrations from the floor and what sounded like a fleeing buffalo led Luna to assume that the new beast departed with haste. She was also able to pick up something about a hungry child from one of them before-

Swish! THUD!

Luna couldn't think of a day in her life where she fell flat on her face as numerously as that day. Thankfully her head was spared from the hard wooden floor... by one of the beast's shoes.

"May I ask you to not think yourself clever when you fake unconsciousness?" The one with glasses spoke in an emotionless tone, though she could easily hear the mockery in the words.

"Wouldst thou mind helping me up?" she replied, trying to keep a dignified tone. The creature complied and offered an appendage to her. She put hers to it, and let the alien animal pull her up. She tried her best balancing on her hind hooves, the task proving easier than what it would be in her old body due to the weird, elongated limbs replacing her hooves. She wobbled a bit, and ended up leaning a little on the wall. Now that she was standing, she realized she was actually nearly a foot taller than the individual who had previously been towering over her.

"May I also inquire of you your name, ma'am?" The tallest one asked her. She identified its voice as the voice of the "King".

"My name is Luna. From where I hail, I am royalty." She stated in a matter of fact tone. Before either of the two could reply, the brash one reared it ugly head into the conversation.

"Get the fuck out." That beast in particular was getting on Luna's nerves, and she felt no pity for it when the one wearing glasses whacked the back of his head.

"My sincerest apologies for my friend's harsh words," the king rubbed his forehead with his claw-like limb. "My name is James King, most just call me King."

The others introduced themselves as well, including the creature with the unnerving face.

"Name's Daniel, they call me Danny boy, nice to meet ya Looney." The brash one received another swift cuff to the head. The one who dealt that blow revealed his name to be Winslow. The fourth one was named Kevin. Upon further inspection, she saw that he was clearly wearing a mask. She felt rather silly for not realizing that fact sooner.

"So, miss Luna, where exactly do you come from?" King asked calmly.

"I am from the land known as Equestria." she replied.

"My sincerest apologies for not knowing where on the globe that would be. If you could kindly, would you please tell me what continent or country it is located in?"

King James's calm tone sounded suspiciously... patronizing. She didn't focus on that too much, however, as she realized that there was something wrong. Equestria was a vast landscape. It was the most well known and arguably most powerful country in all the world.

And yet, this king knew nothing about it? How was that even possible? Luna decided to play it safe and try to play it off until she could learn more about... wherever it is she was.

"Oh, Equestria is a rather small land." she spoke in a casual tone. "There's a grand variety of wildlife, stunning landscapes, a great city resting near a mountain as the glorious capital."

"Hm, seems like a very interesting place indeed. Sounds European, is it not?" The scrawny one wearing glasses asked in an expressionless tone.

'Just go with it.'

"Indeed it is." She replied.

Rap rap rap.

The faint knocking interrupted the conversation. The king asked the masked one, Kevin, to go answer the door, and the other three quickly focused back on Luna. She noticed they seemed to be forming a semi-circle around her, the vulgar Daniel on her left, the emotionless Winslow on her right, and the king in front of her. All three seemingly analyzing every detail about her. It made Luna a bit uncomfortable, but she didn't choose to show it.

The door opened and closed, with Kevin stepping outside. The king closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose.

"Look," he started. "I'd like to believe your story-"

The obnoxious one intervened. "But it's complete bullshit."

Luna expected King to react harshly towards the outburst, but instead he nodded in agreement.

"Listen... ma'am, you either really need to tell us what your business here really is, or you'll need to drag your friends' bodies out now. I don't have the time to house complete strangers with an absurd amount of money and no identities that make sense."

"What pray tell, does not make sense about what I told you?"

Daniel spouted yet another interruption. "You said you were royalty from a country that don't even exist. Not to mention you're talkin like a fruit-"

The door swung open.
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Kevin had closed the door behind him as his three roommates interrogated the mysterious woman. He turned his attention towards the newest arrival, who was a bit of a strange sight indeed. And given what he had seen previous to it, that was quite the statement.

"Hiya, how are you?" asked a pink haired teenage girl with giant blue eyes and a great smile that seemed to cover the entire bottom half of her face. She wore a button up light blue blouse with flower designs on it, as well as a long pink skirt going down to her knees, where her feet rested upon flip flop sandals. Her face adorned a great, goofy smile and wide, innocent, light blue eyes that seemed to reflect light in the noon summer day. Kevin didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out already that whoever she was, she was somehow related to the bizarre situation.

"I'm fine. Can I ask what you're doing here?"

"Oh, yeah. Silly me. My friends are in there."

Mhm, figured.

"Oh, well alright. Just so we're clear, we're talking about five teenage girls, a teenage guy, and an adult woman?"

"Yup. Glad to see your species refers to them as girls and guys, too!"

"Huh?"

"Yeah," the girl exclaimed. "I mean the last thing I walked up to looked at me all weird when I mentioned I was a pony, which is weird, because, I mean, who hasn't seen a pony? Right?"

"... Huh?"

"So then," the girl continued, unfazed by Kevin's lack of understanding. "I got a pinkie sense that something good was around here, and since the only thing that could be really super duper good right now would be to see my friends after they got suckedupbyavoidIfiguredthey'dbehereandIguesstheyare! Heywhatkindaspeciesareyouwhat'sawomanyouhavereallycooleyesarethoseeveneyes-"

Kevin zoned out after the girl started talking at 88 miles per hour, her mouth a blur of pink, black, and white. His face was as motionless as his mask as he stood there, dumbfounded by the girl in front of him. He snapped out of his momentary paralysis when two pointed fingers jabbed the eye sockets of the mask.

"OW! What was that for!"

"Oh, so it IS a mask."

Kevin stumbled backwards, but then composed himself.

"Did you escape from some sort of asylum?"

"What's an asylum?"

'Toking tonight,' Kevin thought to himself. 'Definitely going to need a joint or twelve tonight.'

"Alright, so you're here for the people that were passed out on the street, then?"

"What are people?"

"Ok, now you're just screwing with me."

"I dunno how to screw people. I don't think I'm doing that."

"Look, why don't I just show you the people. I'm sure you know them."

"Why didn't you think of doing that sooner?"

Kevin put his hand under his mask to rub his forehead in frustration, and decided to open the door. All while thinking of images that clashed with his pacifism.

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Discord

As Discord was flying back to Canterlot, he pondered how to interact with the clearly perturbed princess.

"Alright let's see. I could zap in front of Celestia, but she might end up losing her temper at lil' ol' me again. I have no idea why she's so violent today. What could I have possibly done?"

"Still in so much pain!"

Discord looked down to see he still had the pony stuck to his foot. Its back sure had a weird way of folding. He snapped his talons, and a giant, levitating pair of tweezers plucked the stallion off and dropped him. He landed somewhere in the depths of the burning buildings.

"Alright, sans that one, I haven't done anything to garner her highness's wra-"

Just then he noticed the screams of the Canterlot folk as they fled from said buildings, all while being hit with torrents of cider rain from cotton candy clouds. He stopped flying to wonder how there could even be fire if liquid was down pouring the country-side.

"Huh... so there are two reasons for her to be mad... Welp, flying was fun, time to hurry things along. I feel like I've been flying for over a year."

Without even bothering to move, the chaos god disappeared and reappeared before a distraught sun goddess. She had her head in some books, looking a lot like a certain purple alicorn. Discord almost thought it was kind of sweet... that is until the face of death peered from above the pages to glare at him. Not so sweet.

"Discord."

Discord flashed on some protective gear, as well as a mattress slumped up against the wall behind him.

"Hello Princess Celestia. How've you been?"

"Where's my sister?"

"Have you noticed the lovely fire- what?"

"Where is my sister Discord?"

Celestia had no emotion in her voice, which was both creeping Discord out, as well as hyping him up to whatever it was she was talking about.

"I don't know. Did you check her bedroom? I recall her not being a morning pony."

A large blast of magic energy hit Discord, as well as a large section of the wall behind him. He appeared barely phased and undamaged, unlike last time. He stepped to his left to inspect the Discord-shaped chunk of wall that stood in a giant circle of air.

"The people who built this castle must not like you very much."

He noticed Celestia's horn was glowing, so he tried to calm her down.

"Tia, Tia... Use your words. Calm yourself."

The princess gave in and took some deep breaths. Her posture relaxed, as well as her facial features. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with a hoof. She opened her eyes to look at her former nemesis.

"Alri-"

She was cut off as a water balloon full of cider hit her square in the face. Discord gave a cheeky grin.

"Today is a B-E-A-UTIFUL day. Well, I'm about done gloating for now. Have fun shooting more holes in your walls. BYE!"

With a loud pop, the god vanished. Celestia bottled in her rage as she calmly walked towards the gaping hole in her room. She looked out to see her burning city, wondering why it wasn't being tamed by the rain. She extended a hoof to identify the liquid being poured down.

"Ah, alcoholic cider. That explains it."
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It's been over a year. OVER A YEAR PEOPLE! But I've done it. I've finally shoved this piece of crap out into your waiting screens. SHOWER ME WITH PRAISE! Or cider. Either way, yay me for updating. If we're lucky, the next chapter will come out before I actually hit drinking age.

Author's Note

(Insert "I'm back bitches" meme here)