The Pleb Adventures: The story of Button and friends.
It was a bright sunny day in Ponyville, and Button Mash disliked it with a passion. How dare it be so fucking bright out when he was trying to finish the latest Battlefield game.
“OH CELESTIA FUCKING DAMN IT, YOU LITTLE CUNT!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, much to the dismay of his mother.
“Umm...Button?” His mother said with a questioning tone to her voice.
“THE FUCK DO YOU WANT MOM, GET ME ANOTHER FUCKING RED BURN” He screamed again. “*cough cough* Shit...My voice is going out…” Button Mash had been living off of the drink for almost two whole years never sleeping, for as he would put it ‘I aint no fucking pleb.’ When in reality, he was the plebiest of plebs.
“Umm...Sweetie? I think you need to lay off the Red Bu-” As her sentence was cut off by Button’s Caffeinated rage.
“MOM, JUST FUCKING LISTEN, GET ME A FUCKING RED BURN OR I WILL SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!....fucking pleb.” Button yelled again, This time with the force of one thousand fanboys, learning that Fleur De Lis is going to be in the next Iron Colt movie.
“Button, I am getting tired of your shit, literally, tired of your FUCKING SHIT!, I want you to lay off, it’s not good for you, you might need to go to the doc-” As she was interrupted by Button’s Bitch Zigger Ass once again
“I’M NOT GOING TO SEE THAT FUCKING PLEB, HIS K/D IS A 0.0000-” And then Button passed out and fell to the floor.
“Sorry Ms. Mash, I’ll get him out of here.” Spike said in a calm tone.
“Finally, now I can go take his Red Burn stash out of his Freezer.” As she dumped his fridge into a pile of wood and set it on fire.
“C’mon buddy, we need to get you to the hospital to get your heart regulated.” As he walked away from the house.
As Button awoke a whole 5 hours later in the hospital after the heart regulation, he awoke to himself being really fucking tired.
“What the fuck happened….why am I so fucking tired?” He said slowly.
“Quiet pleb, you’re in the hospital since you spent two fucking years drinking Red Burn and not sleeping. Plus all of those doritos you ate and all of your fedoras, its miracle you weren’t here for major faggotry sooner.” Babs said to her boyfriend (waitwut).
“Don’t you call me a pl-” And he was knocked out by his self, because he was tired as fuck.
“Huh, weird, he usually lasts longer.” Babs said with a bit of sass in her voice.
“HA!”, Spike yelled from the other side of the room.
Later when he had awoken for about the thousandth time, he looked around his room in distaste. All of them had left him all on his own, even his beloved Babs Seed whom he knew would never do anything to betray him.
MEANWHILE IN THE HALL OF JUSTICE
“Harder Spike, harder!” Babs Seed moaned in the heat of passion as she was being stuck with Spike’s $5 Footlong™. Spike thrusted and thrusted until he couldn’t anymore, doing this for hours on end with Babs. That was practically the rest of their day. After that incident, Button found out and just said “Eh, fuck you two”, and broke up with Babs and punched Spike in his Dragon Dick.
MEANWHILE IN THE HOME OF A PLEB NAMED BUTTON MASH
“Why do I even fuckin’....play fuckin’ Battlefield?”, Button said after his 1000 hour nap of the seas, and cleaning off his desk of the cans of Red Burn. Button had quickly gotten more cans of Red Burn after returning home to his lovely computer and his no life having ways.
“2 Years Later” The Narrator says to himself in his undies, scratching at his neckbeard
“I cannot believe that I’ve just been sitting on my fucking ass 24/7 playing whatever fucking FPS comes out of the fucking industry, and now I’ve lost my girl, I’ve lost my friends, and I got more chins than chinatown.” Button said to himself, sitting in a chair covered in dorito dust. It had become known that Babs Seed and Spike had gotten married and moved to Mexicolt, where they had multiple disgusting dragon-pony hybrids, two of them only had one leg.
“BUTTON, WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE OUT YOU FUCKING RETARD!” Button’s Mom said with a angry tone to her voice, and while smoking her cigarettes which she made herself since she was too lazy to go grab them from the store.
“WELL I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THAT I HAVE TO MOVE OUT YOU FUCKING PLEB, SINCE YOU ARE BRINGING A FUCKING DRUGGIE INTO YOUR LIFE!” Button said in an angry tone too. Button’s mother who shall now be referred to as ‘Giant Milf’ was getting married soon to a stallion named Pony Charlie Sheen, and Button was not happy in the slightest. “I mean really the nerve of that guy, kicking out a 22 year old high school dropout, who doesn’t have a job.” Button became known as the most bummy dude around Ponyville after he dropped out to ‘Become a worldwide MLG pro circuit gamer.’ He was kicked out in one week for drug use.
MEANWHILE IN MEXICOLT
“Hey Babs, we should go back and visit Button sometime, to see how he is.” Spike said with a tired voice, and messy hair.
“How about you go do that honey, I need to stay here and take care of the kids” Babs Said, also Tired
“Alright, I’ll send pictures back, I need to go visit Twi anyway.”
“Well, how long are you going to be gone?” Babs said with a depressed tone
“2 weeks at most, 1 at least”
“Alright…, hopefully you will be able to get back across the border without problem.”
“ I won’t have any problem.”
One day later, Spike arrives to Ponyville
“Oh hey! They’re having mayor elections this week, but there is someone new?” Spike said with a confused sound in his voice, and a confused look on his face.
“CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE, GRAB ME MY GOLDEN FEDORA!” The unknown blubber pony said.
“Oh. My. God. Is this guy serious?” Spike said with a smirk and slightly giggling.
“I, SOON TO BE MAYOR, TOE KNEE, WILL BE MAYOR, AND FREE XBONES FOR EVERYONE AND FREE FEDORAS!”
“Oh my fucking shit, he is serious!” Spike said while rolling on the ground, almost pissing his pants.
“AND SOON, THE FEDORAS WILL RULE!! NOW...I MUST BE GOING TO MY BED, IT’S TIME TO PLAY TITANFALL!” The ‘New Mayor’ said when he was being led off stage on a dirty bed with cum stains on it.
“Hopefully that motherfucker won’t win because his plan is just ter-” and for the millionth time in this story, Spike was interrupted by a neckbeard, with a cutie mark of a fedora with a white rose. He was wearing glasses and had a curly mane”
“Toe Knee has already won, no one else voted for uh….whatever her name is, DOESN’T MATTER! Here, have an xbone.” as the unknown pony spoke to Spike, handing him a free xbone.
“Uh….thanks….I will play this...I guess…” as Spike said with a uncomfortable face.
“Oh, by the way, my name is Jonboi, if you wanted to know.” Jonboi said with a smile on his face.
“Well….*sigh* might as well go visit Twi…..ohwaitshesdead.” Spike said with a stupid look on his face.
Spike continued on through Ponyville, trying to find Button or his mom’s house, and he found it, he went to knock on the door, when he saw a note on the door. “To anyone who is visiting Button, he doesn’t live here anymore, he moved out. He now lives in an apartment in the South Side of town.”
“Huh...guess his little Zigger ass got kicked out finally….huh”
“RAISE YOUR DONGERS!” A Random Pony said when running by.
MEANWHILE ON SOUTH SIDE PONYVILLE
“So you want some fucking chrystal, bitch?” Jessiepone said to one of his consumers. He had a white coat color and a short brown mane, with a red jacket on. He partner Hisenhorse was currently making more meth for the two so they could sell more. Spike had heard of the two down in Mexicolt and wanted some to smuggle back. So on his way to see Button, he decided to get some.
Then, he found Button dead on the ground and fucked the corpse.
FIN
Author's Note
Please don't take this seriously
