It's Happening!

by Broseph_Stalin

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Human, Comedy
Length: 3224

It's happening. For real, guys!

It's happening. For real, guys!

A beautiful story written by a very drunk posse, including but not limited to:
Sabre
Bad_Seed_72
MarineMarksman
Realit-tGlitch
Nehem
Flash Sentry: Savior of the Universe
Pen Stroke

Left in its entire original glory for posterity

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-02 09:58:08 UTC

[Happening Intensifies]

IIt was just another day in ponyland, and derpy was sucking off her master as usual.

“Ahh, thats right.” Then Dexter out of nowhere fucking sexes her up going girly

“Y-yes master,” Derpy mumbled with a bubble of spit.

“Ayy girl,” Dexter said as he ran his fingers through her mane. “COMPUTER! How much longer till I cum!

“I estimate another 30 seconds.”

“NOT ENOUGH!”

Deedee walked in suddenly.

“DEE DEE, GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY!”

“Sorry, Dexter! I am fucking your shit up once again and there is nothing you can do to stop me!”

Dexter grabbed a pump-action shotgun.

Dexter grabbed deedee and ripped her panties off.

“Dat’s ma pussy, bitch!”

“This tight sisterly pussy is mine for the taking!” he screeched as he took them off, which was full of corn shit.

He reached for a concoction he’d concocted earlier. “I call it… THE CONCOCKTION!”

He proceeded to drink it and a second dick, appearing in the image of Dickbutt, arose from his chin. Derpy sat on his chin, while he slammed Deedee’s tight body on to his ginormous baby dick.

“OH DEXY!” cried Deedee as the hymen burst, unleashing rainbows upon his pelvis. Derpy came bubbles for the fuck of it.

The one sober man writing this shit has no idea what he has been doing. The slightly sober girl pointed and laughed a lot. ALOT. Because it is now one word. Fuck you, English.

I am so sorry.

After all was said and done, Dexter demanded that computer bring them all complimentary phat blunts. “That was some good shit, girls,” he said as he inhaled from the beautiful phatty.

“420 I just don’t know what went wrong”, said Derpy in response.

Deedee just lay there, lifeless.

“Shit,” cried Dexter! “I should have told her to not inject 5 whole marijuanas! I loved her 5 ever!”

“Let’s bury the body,” said Derpy. “... In cloudsdale…”

“How can we bury the bitch in water vapor?!”

“We’re high, we can do whatever the fuck don’t know what wrong went!”

Suddenly, Ron Paul burst in : “IT’S HAPPENING!” he shouted!

Dexter’s computer began to flash images of nukes detonating…

Dexter began to freak. “SHIT SOMEONE GRAB MY LSD COOKIES!”

Ron Paul grabbed a Bible and an American flag and began to rape Dexter with them. “THANKS OBAMA!” Dexter screamed.

Derpy was also freaking! “But, Anon! The meth! The blowjobs!”

Dexter knew what must happen. “Ron Paul, will you help me?”

Ron Paul nodded, “Yes, I do.”

He proceeded to fly through the ceiling, holding the Obama that had been tied up in the corner. The Obama began to scream and holler, waving its monkey dick around.

Ron Paul was irritated by this. “You are making me irate, you fucking chimp prick!”

He hwipped out his switch-propane tank and blew off Obama’s tiny dick.

No one yet knew the plot of any of this.

“There’s a plot,” the write of this said as he was questioned by reporters at his house, “just nobody is sure what yet.”

Dexter asked the writers, “But… then who was phone?!”

Another writer added, “I’m just here for the lulz. I was also told there would be cake.”

Derpy interrupted: “It better be Muffin flavor”

Ron Paul slapped her as a bald eagle shed a tear in the distance. “None of that commie shit in my cakes, thank you!”

Obama was still writhing in his liberal hypocrisy, whilst black blood drained and spurt from the flesh patch and crevasse where the monkey dick used to be.

Meanwhile, at the white house, Joe Biden was calling the Power Puff Girls on the emergency hotline.

“Girls, we need you and your little shit-for-hands!”

“What is it, mayor?”

“This isn’t the fucking mayor! I don’t need no pickle jar opened! I just use dildos for playtime!”

“Sorry, mayor! We are smoking the fat crispy!”

“The wha-... Girls, quit your bug-eyed shit and come here!”

Buttercup could be heard in the background, crying out Bubbles’ name in the sexiest way that E.G. Daily could possibly muster.

One of the writers then claimed that this shit coming from the ONE SOBER GUY is getting too weird.

He doesn’t even know the half of it.

Meanwhile, Blossom blew Mojojojo in the corner. She needed some money to pay for her over nine thousand children. Damn messicans.

Ron Paul burst in through the ceiling of MJ’s observatory. “Thank you, Mojo jojo! No free handouts in THIS COUNTRY!” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Suddenly, Michael Jackson grabbed the nearest five little boys and shoved them all in his crotch. “HEE HEE!”

Then, everyone started shitposting. The narrator didn’t say it was a bad thing. Continue.

because, you know, that wasn’t already being done.

The writers proceeded to slap dicks with each other while Dexter proceeded to commit incestual necrophilia. “THIS SHALL MAKE ME A GOD,” he cried.

Once DeeDee’s corspe got too cold, Dexter grabbed Mason and nononononononononononononononononono began buttfucking him.

And the sober writer roared in great laughter.

The fatass writer fell to the floor with it.

“Y u do dis,” said the nigger.

“Yonder nigrah,” cried Dexter to the nearest black chick, who happened to be the little black girl from The Magic School Bus.

This was actually the episode where the

The little nigra ran over and started blowing Dexter.

“I love being sober”, said the one sober writer.

“I hate bein’ sober,” replied Chief Keef.

Then, the Yo Gabba Gabba crew came in and recited the psychopathic alphabet

“A is for the asshole I’d like to be. B is for the bitcht that I killed last week. C is for the Country that has gone to shit. D is for lysdexia, if you think about it.”

Then, the Bubble Guppies proceeded to destroy the shit out of them with higher production values.

Then Westboro showed up, because this story is devoid of godly values.

Then God showed up and gave you the finger for being such a nigger.

Then nigger showed up and gave God the finger. The nigger was Morgan Freeman.

Then the sober writer interrupted for the fuck of it because who

Then one of the drunk writers kicked him in the nuts so hard he ended up eating his own dick. Except he didn’t have any balls. So it’s a fucking paradox.es a shit.

Then the sober writer realized he actually was drunk.

Then who was phone?

Almost.

Not quite.

Just incredibly high from that dank poon tang.

AKA Mason’s vagina.

All the problems make me wanna go like a bad girl straight to Video.

I

Rainbroccoli Dash began to break into Dexter’s lab.

As soon as she broke through, Dex threw Deedee’s lifeless, cum-covered/filled corpse as a white bomb of creamy death. The corpse landed on a whole city of Jews. No one cared.

Suddenly a rumbling boom was heard from outside. AS al character’s eyes went wide, a custom Camaro blasted through the wall, showering every pony with a creamy white substance. As the Camaro screeched to a halt doing a 30,000-time donut, the door flung out and out stepped the best character of any equestria girls movie ever.

And Steven Seagal got raped by the far superior badassery of Bruce Campbell. But Bruce was not a cock-puncher, like Steven in The Onion Movie.

“AYO, IT’S MISTER STEAL YOUR WAIFU!” Ron Paul exclaimed in surprise.

“GO FUCK YOSELF,” said Flash Sentry.

Steven nodded and patted Ron on his back, as he was proud of his obliteration of Barack Obama’s genitalia.

Ron Paul then grabbed every little pony ever and shoved them into his gaping asshole.

“I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG!” Derpy shouted. (but at least it smelled like muffins. AND FREEDOM)

“Gee willikers, mister!, said Dre to Ron and Steven.

Suddenly

Garlic bread.

Then, a horde of centipedes crawled into Derpy’s spread vagina. Everything about that image disturbed the sober writer.

A random black lady said, “Centipedes? In my vagina? It’s more likely than you think.”

unf

Ron Paul started masturbating with mayonnaise. “WHAT HAVE THE WRITERS DONE,” he exclaimed, a  muffled “ayy lmao” heard in the distance.

“Ayyyy, yo, leggo my eggo,” Ron Paul sang, while the Beatles joined in.

ALL OF THE FUCKING SUDDEN, the ceiling caved in, and in jumped through the hole was Black Jesus. The room suddenly began to smell heavily of Old Spice, the scent of the God.  Until some 14-year-old faggot sprayed Axe everywhere and ruined everything.

“Stop your bullshit!” he exclaimed. “I fucked your mom last night!”

“My mom is DEAD!” Batman screamed.

“Nobody has fun without me.”

Black Jesus ripped off his skin, revealing he was in fact Mini-Me. You know, from Austin Powers.

He ripped off his pants and aimed his tiny midget dick at Ron Paul and started jerking it. The Liberty Bell took this as a challenge and charged the midget.

“GO GO GADGET DICK!” Ron Paul exclaimed as he bitch slapped Mini-me with his giant liberty-fueled erection.

Then Ron Paul gave the Liberty Bell AIDS.

In all actuality, EVERYONE was Dana Carvey, the Master of Disguise. He raped and killed and blew off the dick of himself for every part.

-Directed by M. Knight Shamalamadingdong.

What a twist!

BUT THE REAL TWIST IS THIS ISN’T REALLY THE END!

THE END

“FUCK THE POLICE!” Pinkie Pie said as she jumped in through a nearby window, “coming straight out of the underground. Got a nigga down just because he’s brown.”

“Pinkie Pie, you’re not a nigger,” Applejack said as she walked into the room with Ice Cube. The sun.

Just kidding, no one gives a fuck about worst pony. Cheese Sandwich ripped off his skin, showing that he was actually Weird Al underneath. He then began to fuck Pinkie with a spatula from IKEA and make eggs and pancakes in her ass.  Except who wants that shit because IKEA has some cheap food amirite?  Like seriously you can get ice cream for under $1. If you don’t think that’s the tightest shit then fuck you.

Fucking Swedish faggots. Dammit I need an IKEA near me now. SHIT I KNOW THEY EVEN GOT SWEDISH MEATBALLS THAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING GOOD RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, Weird Al just kept raping Pinkie PIe until no one cared anymore.

Actually, my girlfriend is Swedish. If I wasn’t so poor, I would totally >rape her right now. AND EATING FUCKING MEATBALLS! Yeah lel she likes that actually. Wait fuck then it isn’t really rape...

“You don’t know that,” the only girl said with a grin.

“Ew, there are girls here?” said some guy.

Suddenly, Liam Neeson showed up and started playing COD. When some five-year-old said he raped his mother, he growled into the mike, “I will find you, and I will kill you, you little shit.” And then another faggot died.

I fucking love them Swedish meatballs. And Mason is on the toilet. Taking a massive shit while writing a shitfic.

WHAT A FUCKING TWIST.

And then this drunk writer began to wonder if these other faggots were even up anymore.

And suddenly, Flash Sentry FUCK U KYLE

NO FUCK YOU U CH33KY CUNT -Kyle

MY NAME IS KYLA ASSHOLES

I’m taking a shjit right now and very fdrunk this is so over my head

send help

sends five-year-olds

I’m ok with that^

Ron Paul, Saviour of the Universe, played blaring loud cunt music, and water was poured from under the bathroom door as our hero screeched like a sloth being stabbed by a sharpened carrot

Ron Paul

Not Flash Sentry

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I just spilt water under the bathroom door and Mason thought it was piss. And he started freaking out.

Flash Sentry isn’t actually a terrible character gaiz DAMN STRAIGHT HE’S MY HUSBANDO

gays

niggers

Jews

William

(sucking dicks)

Sober writer gave up writing most of it as fuckhe is all out of shit. FUCK EVERYTHING, LET’S MAKE PANCAKES.

Holy shit I have to piss BRB

And then Charlie Sheen snorted coke off your mom’s asscrack

Meanwhile, in the land of G1 MLP faggotry, full of faggy ass rainbows and more cocks than Will could ever suck

implying

Megan was getting ready to begin her pony orgy.

“Soon I will create the greatest pony lesbian army the world has ever senn! Nyah!” she bellowed as her breasts created a torrential whirlwind of fury.

omg my sides

You’re one to talk, I’ve literally laughed the hsit out of me this whole time

they are in orbit now

I want to fuck all of you. Love MarineMarksman.

Guys, guys, Knighty will definitely approve this story

I smell feature box

let’s publish this. Best story 7ever

If those /mlp/ books can get published anything can

“This is the next Past Sins” -RainbowBob

“I swear to God this is heaven in literature form.” -Regidar

“

FUCK PEN STROKE

THAT ARROGANT FUCKSTICK

Oofuckingrah Pen Stroke is such a fucking faggot. I wish he was an asshole so I could have an excuse to knife hand the fuck out of him.

“Pen Stroke will stroke his pen to this.” ~Bad_Seed_72

THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM I WILL LITERALLY SHIT ON SOMETHING HE LOVES

GUYS COME SHITPOST THIS LIVESTREAM http://www.justin.tv/theoldgreymare

How do I link durnk?

HE IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET’S RAPE NYX

OK GUYS THIS IS NOW A GANG RAPE OF NYX STORY

GO

GO

GOG

OG

OG

OG

OPG

O

GO

GO

GO

GO

OG

OG

GO

GO

GOG

OG

OG

OG

OG

OG

GO

GOG

O

GO

Nyx was walking down the street, being a total bitch.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed the scruff of her mane, and she felt terror grab the rest of her being.

“You’re getting rape for christmas” a guttural voice whispered violently in her ear.

“But its february--!” she began, but a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very large dick was inserted forcefully into her mouth.

The dick kept thrusting itself in and out of her mouth, causing her to gag.

Then the dick came all in her mouth.

There was sticky cum everywhere and Nyx swallowed the whole thing cuz she is a slut.

AND THEN LARSON TOTALLY JUST CONFIRMED FLUTTERSHY IS SHIT AND WORST PONY!

She couldn’t breathe, and then died.

damn my ass is numb I should probably wipe and be done

Is it bad that I was actually just significantly aroused by the idea of a pony being choked by a large amount of semen

No, it’s not…

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

you’re a faggot, harry

ACTUALLY WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST DDOS HIM OR SOMETHING K

“Sweet christ wtf have I missed!” exclaimed the sober writer.

no u

Stop hitting enter you stupid fuck

I’ll fukken rek ye m8

i swear on me mum

doge

DOGE

DOGE DOGE DOGE DOGE

And then Doge raped Nyx’s dead body.

http://www.hahgay.com

CALLING IN BLACK UP.

INCOMING PACKAGE

Its me

and my weiner

http://www.hahgay.com

wait not that

www.faggotry.com

All I see is a picture of you

OOOOOHHHH

BTFO

SHOTSFIRED

REKT

Not a faggot tree exists in this thread. Except Obama. The Sober writer has returned.

2013+1

being sober

LOL what a fag.

And you

FUCK OBAMA!

luv u 2 mr steal ur waifu

OKAY GUYS THIS JUST TURNED INTO A FLASH SENTRY CIRCLEJERK

GO

OH MY GOD WHY IS FLASH SENTRY SO GREAT

I WOULD SUCK HIS DICK NO HOMO

^ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwN0gcfrSxs)

FLASH SENTRY IS BEST PONY

aww, will is gone. Damn right he is. He’s dead, locked in my basement!

noow he’s back and being raped

Guess who’s back?

Back again?

Will’s back.

Back again.

Back again.

Back again.

Sentry’s back

Back

Back

Tell a friend/waifu

Duanananananananana.

HUehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehueh,” Said the sober writer. “I feel it should be denoted each and every time that I write!” the faggot exclaimed.

lol fucking everything xDD this is hilarious

So, once everything was said and

done with, space cowboys from outer space came down with their lazer cocks and began destroying the land.Space Dandy approved as long as Boobies remained in existence.

Guys in all seriousness, list yourselves as you are in the fandom so I can list all the people who added to this fic when I submit it to fimfiction

Sabre

Bad_Seed_72

3.Nehem

reali-tglitch

Niggerbitch

Flash Sentry: Savior of the Universe

MarineFuckingMarksman

guise I said in all srsness  :///////FUCK YOU still

Hey guys whats goin on in this

rape

Noice

abandon immediately

ANDONG IMMEDIATELY

ABANDON THREAD

/thread

ABANDON THREAD ABANDON THREAD ABANDON THREAD

MY EYES THE GOGGLES ARE STRANGLING MY BALLS

aeiou

/thread

fr real

haha  suckers

ever sucked dick?

well now you have

bow at my skillz

niggers.

ok fixed

\

commence butthurt

guys you can write on it now

hit refresh you fugs

swear on me mum

OK NOW ITS FIXED

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOl

YES I’M FINALLY BACK THANK YOU BASED GOD

Where is everyone?

Pls respond.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ffs

brb fapping

Also, we need to do this again.

We do. We do.

next weekend niggaz

WTF WHY AM I ANON IBEX

I AM OBV BEN DOVER

Hi I’m MarineMarksman and I’m an alchoholic.

Hi I’m Flash Sentry: Savior of the Universe and I’m also an alcoholic.

Will nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWill nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWill nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWill nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWill nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWill noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

fuck that http://www.youtube.com/djrgproductions

try my shit on for size

fuck off faggot I want to hear his remixslolololololololololololololololol call the police they can’t un-nig you

Hey, post some of your aweosme remixs, Mr steal ur waifu.h

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7dwG_3WY4i4h8XKh3fF0jA DEY ALL RITE HERE

Finally after many long years the ritual is complete. you think of the 9001 virgins you had to rape while you had a rusty spike shoved into your urethra, the countless people you had to murder to hide your secret. there is just one thing left to do. you push aside the body at the control panel. eyeing the big red button. You scream out, “ EQUESTRIA HERE I COME! YOU BETTER BE READY FOR MY DICK!.” You pull out your massive member it growing to a massive size and slam it into the button. Sirens blare warnings are broadcast over the intercoms “ one minute to detonation”  you begin masturbating furiously the time quickly reaches zero. 5,4,3,2,1 I CAME! A  the nuke detonates in the silo, instantly vaporizing everything in a 5 mile radius. After what seems like an eternity,  you begin to awaken, you hear muffled voices, but you can’t be sure. as you regain alertness you realize they are screams. You suddenly jump up and take in your surroundings, you appear to be in a bathroom suddenly you see celestia on the toilet, she’s screaming at you. as sean conery fucks your sister.

I only just found out it works again. I am a genius.

(The sandy hook shooter did it because Allah needed more virgins)

This was it. It was your chance to make the big times. All you had to do was dig up Hitlers body and sodomize it.

Whoever posted that Bateman is a god of timing

Guys this thing is dead. GG.

Gonna attempt to post to fimifiction. Lets hope Knighty is in a good mood that day.

GG.

*Airhorns*

*more airhorns*

[*airhorns intensifies*]

RIGHT UP THE ANUS

You’re a pleb if you don’t jack off with Straight Outta Compton playing in the background on repeat.