Fred Durst Saves Equestria (Part 1)

by The Red Guitar

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Comedy, Romance, Adventure
Length: 1583

Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit goes back to Equestria. This time, he must save the realm. Rather than destroy it.

After the famous incident of the Summer Sun Celebration '99, Durst starts to feel depressed. However, he get's a chance to redeem himself when Equestria is in a state of panic. The Elements of Harmony are gone, and the Changelings have returned to take over all of Equestria.

Fred Durst is chosen to destroy the threat and redeem himself. Will he save Equestria and become a hero?

Or will he just destroy everything again?

Strong Language!

I suggest that you read Rollin' in Equestria, as some plot points are supported by the previous story.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-15 03:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1: No Regrets

Fred Durst was a man of his word. He never did forget that time when he traveled to a different dimension. He wasn't too sure if he was either high or just dreaming. But he didn't find any cocaine under his bed, and he didn't find himself awake once the "dream" was over.

Still, it left him wondering. What if he was able to go back? What would he do different? It seemed like a nice enough place. It was basically just like Earth, but with talking ponies and a bigger color palette. But there was something else that gnawed on Fred for quite a time.

That one princess. Fred didn't remember what her name was. But then again, she doesn't remember too many girls names very often so it didn't make much of a difference. The difference between those and the pony princess, however, was that he wasn't slapped in the face during the end of the relationship.

He tried to ignore the thought, but it didn't work at all. Every day that he was on tour with his band Limp Bizkit, he couldn't get the image out of his head. His bandmates paid it no heed and they quickly forgot about it. They only remembered it when Fred mentioned it, and they usually shrugged him off anyways.

He still didn't regret what he did during his time in Equestria. Sure, if he ever was to come back they would probably start chasing him with knives and pitchforks. But then again, he knew how to outrun people. It was one of his finest skills that he had and he spent years developing it.

Fred was worried about that other princess, though. She was indeed a bitch and he didn't think of her any other way. He didn't think she would let him have a stable relationship with the lunar princess. But then he caught himself thinking about relationships with female ponies again and stepped on stage again.

It was one day when he actually started thinking seriously about it. He was in his bed with no other person beside him, and he stared at the ceiling fan as it twirled. Meanwhile in his mind, many thoughts flooded into the brain and attacked his frontal lobe. Or at least that's where he thought that's where they were created. Now he was thinking too hard again.

He relaxed his mind and tried to organize his thoughts. He was thinking about a fucking princess from a different realm. He knew that having relationships with ponies was pretty weird. It was one thing if it was just an after thought. But this was different. It was almost more like an obsession rather than anything else.

Fred rubbed his face and rubbed his temples. He had another headache. He got up from his bed and headed to the bathroom. He reached into his medicine cabinet and popped a few pills in. He swallowed and returned back to his bed. He sat on the edge of his bed for the longest time.

He wished that he could get rid of the funk that he was having. It's only been a month since the entire thing happened. He thought that it would go away after a little while, but that hasn't happened yet and he was afraid that it wasn't going to go away anytime soon.

He let out a loud groan and let his back fall to the bed. His eye twitched for a quick moment. He squinted his eyes. That was weird, he thought to himself. He raised his body and looked around the room. The ceiling fan was twirling faster than normal. As a result, all the papers that were on his desk fluttered off of the desk and fell to the ground.

The wind inside the room picked up. Fred quickly put on his red cap and stood up from his bed. A small whirlwind in the center of the room formed and lighted up brightly. Fred put his hand to his face to block the light. Suddenly, the light dimmed. Fred looked at the center of the room. His eyes widened.

No way.

It was a portal. And just like before, inside the portal was the room that he was in before. Quickly, sweat started to pour down from his forehead. He felt obligated to go in, but should he? He reached out his hand to the portal. He hesitated and bit his lip. He looked around his room. It was a small hotel that he was staying in for while. He looked back to the portal. He took a step forward to it. Before he could even think, he was suddenly pulled into the portal.

Fred rubbed his head. He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. On the ceiling, was art of the two princesses. His eyes widened even bigger than before.

Holy shit.

"Fred Durst, please rise," A voice instructed. Almost immediately, he remembered the voice. He certainly didn't like it.

"Have I ever told you how much of a bitch you are?" Fred asked, getting up in a small daze. It was the small room that he was in before, this time without his bandmates. The door opened and the rainbow-maned pony entered glaring at Fred.

"Please. Let's not start with hostilities. And yes you have," Princess Celestia said. Fred smiled wickedly.

"Good. So, uh, mind telling me why I'm back at this place again?"

"It is hard to explain, as much has not been told to you. But all will be revealed soon," Princess Celestia said. Fred nodded.

"Hey, is your sister here?" Fred asked, looking beyond Celestia. She sighed.

"She is not here presently, as she in talks with the Griffon race."

"Fred, are you here?" A voice said. Fred smiled at Celestia. Princess Luna entered the room and glanced at Fred. "Fred! You're back!"

"Your bitch sister told me you weren't here," Fred tattled.

"Please stop calling me that," Celestia hissed.

"Sister! You never lie to ponies!" Luna said.

"Never mind that. We have a situation on our hands right now, and we need you right now, Fred Durst," Celestia announced. "Please come with us so we can explain." Princess Celestia exited the room. Princess Luna looked at Fred as he exited the door.

"It's nice to meet you again," Princess Luna said.

"No worries. It's nice to see you again, too," Fred said. Luna smiled warmly and followed Fred out the door.

The three walked down a hallway with glass panes. They shone brightly as the light passed through it. As they walked, It told of the history of Equestria and some of the evil powers that tried to take it over. Pretty weathered race, Fred thought. They all stopped at one particular window pane. It showed a pony, but black and seemed like it's skin was bitten off.

"This is Queen Chrysalis. She is the mother of all the Changelings. Changelings are-" Princess Celestia started to explain before being interrupted by Fred.

"I'm sorry, but how exactly do you ponies make these window panes with only marshmollow hooves?"

"Please don't interrupt," Princess Celestia said.

"Okay," Fred replied.

"Changelings are-"

"Bitch."

"Stop calling me that! It is very rude!" Princess Celestia hissed.

"Okay, okay!"

"Now-"

"Bitch."

"Quiet!"

"Sorry if it's true."

"Fred, you are making this too-"

"Bitch."

"FRED!"

"Fred, please stop. You're not helping," Princess Luna said to Fred. He shrugged. Celestia glared at him before continuing.

"As I was saying, Changelings are creatures that can take the image and mentality of an existing pony. Queen Chrysalis tried to take over Equestria a year ago, but with the help of the Elements of Harmony, we were able to defeat the Changeling army." Fred stared at the glass pane. Something clicked in his mind, however.

"Wait. Why can't you use these Elements of Harmony and use them again?"

"The Elements has gone missing, and the bearers of the Elements of Harmony has also went missing. We have been trying to find them, but we fear that by the time we do, it will be too late."

"So where exactly do I come in?" Fred asked.

"Humans have been known to have talents far greater than ponies. They have also been known to be more violent than the ponies of Equestria. But we can only do a small group at a time, so getting bigger numbers to join would be impossible. We have not chosen anybody else but you. So that is why we are asking you," Princess Celestia said. "Will you join us?"

Fred processed everything that she had said. It was a lot to take in, but just like before a little sense of wonder pulsed in his mind. Fred hasn't had any fun since his last tour, and he was hoping to replicate that same amount of fun as before. And who knows, maybe he'll get in a little inter-racial relationship with Princess Luna. Fred made his final decision and nodded.

"Alright. I'll accept. So, how am I supposed to defeat these Changelings?"

"You must be trained to fight against these creatures. But for now, you should get some rest before you start your first task. A guard will guide you to your room," Princess Celestia explained. A Canterlot guard came up to Fred and motioned to follow him. Fred followed the guard, all the while smiling like a madman.

This is going to be fun.